The Incredible Story of Cap Shepard and the Love That Saved the Galaxy
by Daniscats
Summary: Scenes from the Shepard/Liara romance throughout the games and beyond. There is sex but none of it is particularly graphic though the ladies seem to be in bed together a lot. Not much plot to speak of but hopefully, taken together, the pieces tell the story of their relationship, how it develops and how it changes throughout the course of the games and beyond.
1. Chapter 1

Shepard sat down at the table in the mess hall and noticed Liara was there eating late. Shepard moved down a few chairs to sit across from her.

"I'm sorry. Do you want to be alone?"

"No! Please sit, Commander." Liara said, perhaps just a little too fast to sound casual.

The two were quiet for a moment as Shepard began eating. Liara started talking casually about the last mission they had been on together. Shepard found herself staring at the tiny mark that was on Liara's cheek beside her mouth. She didn't know if it were a mole or a freckle or a beauty mark. All she knew is that she had a sudden desire to lean forward and kiss it. Shepard chuckled inwardly to herself. _It would seem that I've developed a little attraction to the alien girl. _Shepard moved her eyes from Liara's mark back to her eyes and realized that she was being asked a question.

Shepard shook her head a little. "I'm sorry. My mind wandered a little. Could you please repeat that last part?"

"I was asking you if you felt any ill effects from the beacon? Headaches?"

"Ah, no. It hurt my head as it was happening but there doesn't seem to be any permanent effects."

"That is good Commander. It is remarkable that your mind was able to withstand such an onslaught."

Shepard felt her mind wandering once again. So typical. Humans meet an alien species and their first question is: will these aliens kill me? The second question seems to be: can I mate with these aliens? Shepard thought back to the space novels she read as a child. It had been an exciting time for humanity as they took their first flights across the galaxy. In response, there was a flood of new cheap novels published to satisfy the demand for the new age of discovery.

Shepard remembered stealing the newest trashy novel, running through the crowded, loud streets and finding that spot that was quiet and safe. It was her favorite spot where she could look up at the night sky and still see a few stars through all the light pollution. Shepard remembered looking up to those stars and wondering what was out there while she read the latest tale of a daring spaceship Captain who flew all over the galaxy and saved the day. And of course, those Captains always had grand romances with the aliens who they met along the way. And by some miracle, the aliens were always attractive by human standards and were always sexually compatible with humans. Shepard decided that maybe her attraction to Liara was some kind of wish fulfilment from childhood. Shepard thought about it some more. _Hell, my whole life might be some kind of childhood wish fulfilment. _

"Credit for your thoughts, Commander?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Credit for your thoughts. Is that not the correct human phrase to use when someone appears deep in thought and you wish to know what they are thinking?"

"I was just thinking how weird it is how things work out."

"For example?"

Shepard smiled. _Can't very well tell her what I was really thinking_. "For example, I used to read these really stupid novels when I was a kid about these Space Captains who would travel all over exploring and saving the galaxy."

"And now here you are, saving the galaxy."

"No. I'm just a soldier trying to do the best that she can. The reality is much different. I don't know if the asari have these types of novels but they are really bad. You know, the 'hero' always does the right thing and single-handedly takes down ten bad guys."

Liara had not been on the ship that long but the description seemed pretty accurate to her.

"And in these scenarios, I would be the 'damsel in distress' that the brave Captain saves from certain death?"

"Again no. You are way too intelligent and capable to qualify as a proper damsel. They are usually pretty dumb. Though you are definitely beautiful enough for the role." Shepard winced internally as soon as she said it. _Easy there, Shepard. This isn't a bar and while she's not Alliance, she's still a subordinate._ _Note to self: you need to get yourself laid at the earliest opportunity_. "I'm sorry. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable."

"I am flattered, Commander. You managed to fit three compliments into one." _Maybe, just maybe I am not the only one who feels an attraction here_, Liara thought. Liara realized that it was Shepard who was now uncomfortable and she didn't want her to leave so she changed the subject. "Tell me more about your childhood, Commander. Where did you grow up?"

"Well, I grew up on Earth on the East Coast of the United North American States. I grew up in a place called New York City but really one giant city pretty much sprawls up and down the entire coast." Shepard paused before continuing. _No sense in not being honest_. _She has always been very honest with me_. "I was an orphan so I mostly grew up on the streets. I survived by being a petty thief and then by joining a gang. Not very heroic, I know."

"How old were you when you lost your parents?"

"One or Two, maybe? I don't know exactly. I don't even remember my parents. I remember having foster parents and I remember being in an orphanage for a while but I escaped from that evil place."

"How old were you when you were alone on the streets?"

"Nine or so. I couldn't stand being in that orphanage or protective services anymore so I just ran away and stayed out of sight for a bit. It's pretty easy to do in a large city. The people that you run into don't really want to see the kids out there on their own because then they might start feeling guilty or even worse, they might feel compelled to act." Shepard looked up and saw what could only be described as a look of horror on Liara's face.

"Nine?! You have been on your own since you were nine? That is just a child! How can humans do that to their children?"

"It's not just humans and it doesn't happen to most human children. Most planets have children who have lost their parents and who slip through the cracks."

"It would not happen on an asari world. If a child loses her parents and does not have any other family to take care of her, she is placed in a loving proxy-parent home where she will be well taken care of."

"So there are no kids running around in the streets of the big cities on Thessia?"

"There might be some who run away but they are not alone there for long."

_Note to Self: Read about Thessia and the other Asari worlds, Shepard thought. _"What can I tell you, Liara? In many ways Earth has gotten its act together but in other ways, we haven't. At least we aren't trying to kill each other in nearly perpetual wars any longer."

"I am just very glad that you survived, Commander. I imagine that it was not an easy childhood." Liara shifted in her seat. She felt herself getting irrationally protective of the Young Shepard who she had never met and who no longer existed.

"It was definitely not ideal. Many of the people that I grew up with are dead or in jail. Some of the others that survived turned into cold-blooded killers. They just completely lost their humanity. There's nothing left but the rage and the hate."

Liara considered her next question carefully. "And how do you explain the fact that you escaped that fate?"

"I have no idea. Maybe I was just smart enough to realize that it was a dead-end life. Or maybe it was the bad novels." Shepard considered. "Of course, my current line of work has a low life expectancy as well. Maybe it will turn out to be a bad decision. Actually, there's not that much difference except that the pay is slightly better." Shepard let out a small laugh. "At least I get the chance to fight for something besides myself and maybe I will be able to do some good." Shepard suddenly realized that she had been talking about herself for the last half hour and that the fifteen minutes that she usually gave herself to eat had long since passed. "Well, thanks for talking with me, Liara. I hope that I didn't bore you too much going on and on about myself. I will see you later."

"Not at all, Shepard. I enjoyed it." Liara said as Shepard rose and left the table. Liara felt a little giddy. Her plan to eat later in the hopes of running into the Commander had worked perfectly. And now she had all this new information about the Commander to go over in her head for hours. Liara thought that she might try to eat late again tomorrow but then again maybe she shouldn't because she didn't want the Commander to realize that she was doing it deliberately. Liara then suddenly realized with horror that she had called her Shepard instead of Commander as she was leaving and wondered if that was too informal._ I hope that she did not notice_! Liara then thought that maybe it would be best if she avoided her altogether for a few days just to be on the safe side. She had enough new information to keep her busy until then.


	2. Chapter 2

After Liara had confessed that she was attracted to her, Shepard found herself coming to visit Liara down in her room more often. She didn't want to pressure Liara but it was difficult for her not to do anything with her own feelings of attraction. She always had the impulse to act and patience was not one of her virtues. Her heart had ached for Liara when Benezia died and Shepard knew that it had hurt Liara deeply despite her brave front. More than anything, Shepard had the impulse to pull Liara in close. And now, chatting with Liara in her room, she felt the impulse again. Shepard stepped closer to Liara. After the briefest hesitation, she wrapped her arms around Liara's waist and back and pulled her in tightly. Shepard felt her own organs dancing around inside her body at the contact but felt Liara's body stiffen.

"Relax, Liara. I'm not trying to pressure you into anything. But to say that you've had a bad time of it lately is an understatement. I just wanted to give you a hug. Surely, the asari give each other hugs."

Shepard felt Liara's arms tighten around her body and she felt Liara put her chin on her shoulder. "I don't need you to comfort or protect me, Commander."

Shepard smiled. "I know. Because you are big and tough and independent. But indulge me_." And the asari never have sex unless there is a deep, spiritual bond. And if they are seen all over dancing in bars, it is because they are being exploited, not because they want to do it for quick, easy credits and a thrill_. "Sometimes, when we talk, I feel you are giving me interview answers instead of the whole truth."

She felt Liara pull away. "I have never lied to you, Commander."

"I know that. What I'm saying is that you've already proven your value as a crew member. I already like and respect you. Maybe we could get to know each other as real people a little bit? Let down our guard just a little with each other?"

Shepard could see that Liara was slightly miffed. "Okay, if we are being honest. Sometimes, when we are on a mission, I get the impression that you really do not know what you are doing and are just, as you humans say, winging it."

_Only sometimes_? Shepard smiled. "Hah! That's true. This whole thing was thrown at me without much intel or warning. And much of the time, I am just winging it. But I am confident in my ability to figure it out as I go along and to adjust as needed. I happen to be very good at what I do. But you might want to keep that little truth to yourself though. I need to be able to know that my people are following me without me looking over my shoulder all the time. And they need to be confident in my abilities in order for that to happen."

Liara thought about it for a moment. "They all respect you. Some of them are in awe of you but even the veterans like Wrex and Garrus, respect you."

"That's good to hear. And what do you think about your Commander?"

_I am one of the ones in awe_, Liara thought but instead said, "I think you are very skilled and capable. I feel confident that I made the right decision to follow you."

Shepard grinned and lifted her eyebrows. "Yes, but don't you find me just irresistibly cute as well?"

Without missing a beat and without the slightest indication of a smile, Liara responded, "You are alright but I am an asari. Beautiful women in my culture are a dime a dozen."

Shepard laughed. "I do believe that you are messing with me, Dr. T'Soni. I gotta go but thanks for the hug and the insult." She turned on her heel and headed for the door, a smile still on her face. At the door, she turned and faced Liara again. "But then, maybe it was actually a compliment and not an insult. Maybe you are calling me beautiful?" Liara only smiled in response. "Something to ponder then", Shepard said as she gave Liara her most charming smile, before she turned once again and left the room.

The next night, Shepard was in her cabin going over reports when she decided to get a late-night snack. As she exited her room, she almost ran right into Liara who had been standing outside her door.

"Can I help you with something, Liara?"

Liara twisted her hands together and was looking down at her feet. When she finally raised her head to look at Shepard, Shepard saw her puffy eyes and reddish- purple nose. It was obvious that she had been crying. Liara was turning to leave when Shepard gently grabbed her arm and pulled her closer. She wrapped her arms tightly around Liara and walked them both backwards until they were inside the CO's cabin. Liara started sobbing into Shepard's shoulder and neck. After a few moments, Liara stopped crying and pulled away from her.

"I am sorry, Shepard. I did not mean to break down like that. It is just more difficult at night and I needed a friend."

Shepard grabbed a tissue from her desk and gave it to Liara. She then smiled and cupped Liara's cheek with her hand.

"I'm not sorry at all. I am here any time you need me and I'm glad that you see me as a friend."

"I will leave now and let you get some sleep."

"Actually, I was about to sneak out to the mess and go steal some milk and cookies. Do you want to join me?"

"Cookies?"

"Yeah. They are sweet. It's a human comfort food. And then they say that if you heat up the milk a little, it acts as a natural sleep aid. Might be just what we both need."

Liara smiled at Shepard shyly and nodded.

A few days later, Shepard, Liara and Tali were back on the Citadel. They had wandered into yet another unexplored area and discovered the offices of Sha'ira, Citadel 'consort'. It only took a couple questions to the receptionist before Shepard figured out the true nature of the business. She had never had to pay for companionship in her life and she wasn't about to start now so she politely declined the invitation to be put on the waiting list. Still the 'consort' was an asari. When Liara had related to her the 'rapturous' nature of asari couplings, Shepard realized that she very much wanted to experience it before she left this life.

In fact, as she was listening to Liara describe asari melding, Shepard had very much wanted to experience it with Liara right there and then. But Liara had disappointed her, saying that they were not ready for it. Shepard had assured Liara that she was, indeed, completely ready for it but Liara wouldn't budge. She left Liara's room in an agitated state but she realized that Liara wasn't deliberately teasing her. She realized that Liara was nervous about the whole thing and it probably took all her courage just to discuss the subject with Shepard even though she did so in a mostly clinical, academic manner.

When the Consort asked her in to discuss a problem she was having, Shepard's mind automatically went to asari melding.

"What exactly do you do?", Shepard asked Sha'ira innocently.

"That depends on your needs. I offer advice to some. Comfort to others."

The Consort looked like she was about to continue but Liara cut in.

"That is fascinating. You wanted to meet with the Commander?"

Shepard could hardly believe her ears. It wasn't so much what she said as the way she said it. The jealousy and possessiveness in her voice were unmistakable. _And she hasn't even let me kiss her yet! Possessive little thing._

After Shepard had helped Sha'ira with her problem, Sha'ira had been grateful but had not offered her the recompense that Shepard had expected. Instead she gave Shepard a 'gift of words'. Shepard was barely listening as the Consort went on about some nonsense about her having tough skin. She couldn't believe that some people actually paid for shit like this though Shepard suspected that it was not words but the other that they mostly paid to receive. She also realized that with a little push, she would be able to get the other from the Consort but Shepard could feel Liara's eyes almost boring holes into her back. Shepard sighed internally and said farewell to the Consort. She thought Liara was way better looking anyway. She also felt very attracted to Liara and didn't want to spoil any opportunity she might have with the young asari or in any way, cause her any more pain. Shepard just hoped that Liara would get ready sooner rather than later, preferably before she died from natural or unnatural causes.


	3. Chapter 3

Liara offered her a hand up so Shepard took it. The momentum propelled Shepard forward until she almost bumped into Liara. Shepard found the closeness intoxicating. She felt her heart start to race. The desire to lean forward and kiss Liara's mouth was almost uncontrollable so Shepard decided not to try. Their lips were about to touch when Shepard heard Joker's voice.

"Sorry to interrupt, Commander. Got a message from Captain Anderson."

_ I'm going to kill my pilot_. Shepard noticed that Liara looked almost as disappointed as Shepard felt. "Are you spying on us Joker?"

"No ma'am. Just knew you were on the ship and thought I'd pass the message on." _Then how did you know you were interrupting anything?_ Shepard thought. Joker continued, "The Captain said to meet him at Flux. That club down on the Wards."

"You should probably go meet with him." Liara said. _Was there a hint of disappointment in her voice_?, Shepard wondered. Shepard knew that the Captain had come up with something and that they were probably back in business. Shepard decided that she was not going to let the Council or Udina or anyone else stop her from going after Saren. Shepard turned and headed for the elevator of the cargo hold. Before she got to it, she made another decision. Shepard turned again, quickly closed the distance between Liara and herself, grabbed her around the middle, pulled her close and gave her a long kiss.

At first, Liara seemed to hesitate but then Shepard felt Liara returning the kiss and she soon felt Liara's tongue on her lips. Shepard felt the electricity shoot through her body. She felt her heart literally skip a beat. She felt other organs in her body dancing around in her abdomen. She broke the kiss and, with a little smile, said "For luck. Come on. Gear up. You're going with me."

It took Liara a moment before she could respond but she quickly followed the retreating Shepard onto the elevator. Liara felt a little overwhelmed but exhilarated. Liara remembered when she was a child, she had been swimming at a beach when a rip current caught her. No matter how hard she tried to swim and return to the shore, it overpowered her and threatened to drag her out to sea. A force of nature too powerful to resist. That's how Shepard felt to her too. Only Liara knew that Shepard would not hurt her. Shepard would lead her safely back to shore.

"I'll see you at the airlock shortly," Shepard said as she headed off the elevator and bounded towards her room.

"See you there." Liara responded and headed to her own room.

When Shepard was through talking with Anderson, she felt energized and determined like never before. She was being given another chance by a man who she respected greatly and she would not let him down. The stakes were astronomically high and she would not fail. Just as she had overcome every other seemingly impossible challenge in her life; she would prevail in this one as well. She noticed that Liara and Kaidan both looked as determined as she did. While walking back towards the door at Flux, Shepard got a silly idea.

"Kaidan, can you go on ahead? I need to talk to Liara for a moment."

Kaidan looked confused and maybe a little hurt but said "Sure Commander."

"We won't be long."

Shepard walked over to the dance floor and motioned for Liara to follow her. Liara's eyes got big as she realized what Shepard was doing.

"Shepard! What are you doing? This is not the time for this. We need to get back to the Normandy!"

"Anderson is going to need a little time to come up with a plan of attack. Think about it, Liara. The Counsel has eyes and ears everywhere. What better way to show them that we aren't planning anything and are accepting the lockdown then for two shipmates to get a little R &amp; R together? We need to do this for the sake of the mission."

"I don't know, Shepard. We don't have a lot of time. We need to be focused."

Shepard grinned and leaned in to whisper in Liara's ear.

"I have never been more focused. We are going to stop Saren but first, I want to find out if you can dance."

Liara started moving to the music and Shepard followed. Shepard watched Liara and noticed how Liara's dancing actuated her curves even through her armor. Shepard imagined what those curves would look like without the armor on them or without anything on them at all. Shepard leaned in and whispered in Liara's ear again.

"So, I see that your great intelligence is not the only talent you got from your asari heritage. Come on, we need to go."

Shepard stopped dancing and headed towards the door. Liara followed quickly behind. Liara spoke as they got in the cab to take them back to C-Sec and the Normandy dock access elevator.

"I do not think that you asked me to do that for the sake of the mission at all. I think you just wanted to watch me dance."

Shepard tried to look offended but couldn't help but grin.

"I'm shocked that you would think that of me! What do you take me for? You are a very good dancer though."

Liara only shook her head, the tiniest of smiles on her lips.

"Liara? I just complemented you on your dancing. Isn't there something you want to say to me?"

"Thank the Goddess that you fight much better than you dance."

"Liara!"

"I am hoping that you were just having an off day. I am also hoping that you… do other things better than you dance."

Shepard laughed.

"Well, maybe after we take care of business, you'll give me the chance to show you what other things I do well."


	4. Chapter 4

Liara was lying on her side with an arm and a leg thrown over Shepard's body. Shepard was thinking about how happy she was that Liara had decided to stay on the Normandy after they had defeated Saren. Shepard didn't know how long Liara would stay but she intended to make the most of it while she was here.

"I'm sorry that I'm so sweaty. I overheat easily especially after strenuous exercise", Shepard smiled and purred into Liara's forehead.

"It must be all the fur."

Shepard chuckled.

"I thought you liked my fur?"

"I just was not expecting so much fur all over." Liara held up one of Shepard's hands to the soft light still on in the room. "There are even little hairs on the hands! That is just so weird!"

"Liara, your skin is blue! Not to mention the tentacles growing out of your head. For a human, it doesn't get any weirder than that. And if any of my 'fur' does not please you, just say the word. Except on my head. That's staying." Shepard said with a grin.

"No, I like it. I realize that humans evolved from mammals and that on your planet, all the mammals have hair."

"If you think I'm hairy, you should have seen my ancestors back when the Protheans were around. We looked like gorillas. I wonder how your mammal ancestors dealt with the cold?"

"It is theorized that our ancestors did have body hair at some point but then it somehow became a disadvantage, perhaps because of a warming in our climate, so we evolved until it was completely gone. How did you know that we asari are mammals?"

Shepard cupped one of Liara's breasts.

"Well, there's these. That's a big clue. As well as other bits that I discovered in my travels." Shepard grinned.

Liara was again surprised at the breadth of Shepard's knowledge. She expected Shepard to be an expert on military affairs but she was often surprised when Shepard casually showed knowledge in things that were as far away from the arts of war as possible.

"I am surprised that you would know that."

"Because I'm just a big dumb soldier. I did graduate from the Alliance Academy to get my officer's bars. I might not have as many degrees as _some_ people I know but I've picked up things from here and there and books too."

"You read?"

"Thanks, T'Soni."

"No, I am sorry. I realize that you have the ability to read. I just did not think you would like to read or have time to read. Except for those bad novels when you were a child."

"I've always liked to read. Books can be great company when there are no people around. And I'll have you know that it's not easy to get into the Academy. Especially for a gangly, skinny orphan with no connections."

"I am sorry about your childhood, Shepard. It still amazes me that with all the wealth in the galaxy, there are still so many worlds where children are left to fend for themselves. Not because there are not enough resources to go around but because the people just do not care."

"In some ways, it was a good thing. It taught me to treat everyone with respect and to not judge a book by its cover. I can't tell you how many people I've run into who look like nothing and turn out to be very talented people with a lot to offer. And other people who look like a million credits who are just idiots. And assholes too."

Liara found herself becoming even more fascinated by the extraordinary woman in her arms. She settled herself again into the crook of Shepard's arm and laid her head on Shepard's shoulder. Liara reached up her hand and traced Shepard's ear. Shepard could feel herself being examined once again.

"What a weird structure. I can see how the funnel shape would draw sound into the auditory canal but why is there this cartilage that curls up like this? And what is this ridiculous thing dangling on the end here? What purpose does that serve?"

"It's called an earlobe and it likes to be sucked, Ms. I Have Pointy Bits of Cartilage Growing Out of My Head For No Apparent Reason."

Liara chuckled. She then leaned in and obliged the earlobe. She pulled back and studied Shepard's profile again.

"Sorry, I have a natural curiosity. And I noticed that when you kissed me for the first time, your hand went straight for my scalp crests."

"Come on, Liara. You know that I had to find out what was what with those things at the earliest opportunity." Shepard pulled Liara closer for a moment so that she could kiss the top of her crests.

"I have noticed a fascination that humans have with them."

Liara continued studying Shepard's profile. She reached her hand out and started running her hand over Shepard's forehead and then down to the back of her head. Shepard laughed.

"Liara, you're petting me like I'm a cat."

"I really like your hair. It's so soft and silky. So then tell me something about yourself, Shepard. What is your favorite color?"

Shepard laughed softly.

"I don't think that I should tell you. If I do, it's going to sound cheesy."

"I did not know that favorite colors were such a controversial question with humans. Come on, tell me!"

Shepard rolled onto her side and looked into Liara's eyes, a smirk on her face.

"My favorite color is blue."

This time, Liara laughed.

"Oh yeah, what shade of blue?"

"The exact same color blue as your beautiful, captivating eyes. Deep sky blue"

Liara smiled.

"You already have me in bed, Commander. There is no need to feed me any lines."

"Liara, you actually made a joke. You're getting better at this. And I told you it would sound cheesy."

Liara lifted her head to look over Shepard's shoulder. Liara's curiosity got the better of her once again. "What is in the box?"

"Huh? What box?" Shepard said before she followed Liara's line of sight to the nightstand beside her. "Oh. The chocolates. I forgot." Shepard rolled over onto her back and then awkwardly used her right arm to bring the box on top of her stomach. "Help yourself."

"I have never had chocolate before. I have wanted to try it."

"You're in for a treat. I think you'll like it. It's Earth's second best gift to the Galaxy, in my opinion."

Shepard watched as Liara opened the box and bit off a tiny piece of one of the chocolates. Shepard watched as the look of pleasure came over Liara's face and she popped the rest of the piece in her mouth.

"And are you the Earth's first best gift to the Galaxy?"

"Another joke! You're on a roll! I was actually thinking of coffee. The real kind. Not the cheap imitations that other planets have tried to push on the galaxy. "

Shepard watched as Liara popped another piece in her mouth and then another. Shepard laughed.

"You better watch it. They are pretty high calorie. Though I'm sure we can find a way to burn off those extra calories."

"The joining takes a lot of energy. I need to keep up my strength." And with that Liara popped another piece in her mouth. Shepard watched as Liara ate the entire small box of chocolates. Shepard laughed again.

"Don't I get a piece?"

Liara stopped mid-chew. "I am sorry. I will buy you more." Liara considered. "Would you like a taste?" Liara said with a tiny smile as she leaned over Shepard and kissed her mouth.

Shepard decided that it was time for her to do some exploring so she threw the now empty box on the floor and pulled Liara up on top of her body. Shepard slid her hands over her lover's round bottom and up over her back. She noticed that Liara gasped as her hands moved over her lower back.

"What do we have here?"

Shepard watched Liara's face as she drew a light circle over the small of her back. She increased the pressure slightly and watched as Liara closed her eyes and gasped again.

"Oh, I think we like this spot very much."

Liara struggled to stay coherent.

"At...the base of the spine", Liara gasped again, "we have large nerve clusters. It is..

Liara's voice quivered, "where the biotics begin in our bodies."

"Oh, this is a very GOOD spot. How did I miss this before?"

Shepard continued the pressure until Liara's eyes became black and Shepard could feel Liara's arousal in her mind and along her own nerve clusters.


	5. Chapter 5

Liara sighed and stood up from her work desk. She had always been able to concentrate on her research before and writing academic papers had become easy for her because of her decades of practice but now she felt scattered and distracted. So much had happened in the last couple of weeks.

She had helped to defeat Saren and Sovereign and less importantly to the Galaxy, but equally as important to her personally, she had become romantically involved with someone for the first time. It was late at night but she couldn't sleep. Usually on nights like these, working had always helped Liara quiet her mind so that she could eventually fall asleep but now she just felt too antsy to even work.

She couldn't get her mind off Shepard. She thought about her new lover all the time and if she were being honest with herself, she had to admit that she thought about sex all the time as well. Specifically, she thought about having sex with Shepard constantly. As a scientist, she was very much aware that having sex produced endorphins in the brain and that these endorphins produced a state of euphoria. In asari, the meld also produced other chemicals that created feelings of happiness and well-being. On an intellectual level, Liara knew that a person, having these experiences for the first time and the accompanying positive chemical reactions that they created, would naturally want to replicate the experiences in order to achieve the positive feelings again.

On an emotional level, Liara felt like she was losing her mind. She had always prided herself on her ability to focus and to use her intellect to control her emotions unlike some of her less serious-minded asari sisters. Now, she wasn't so sure she wasn't more of an unbalanced, sex-addicted, immature child than all of them. Shepard had not come to see her today. She had been on a long mission to take out a pocket of geth and had come back looking very tired. Liara wanted to go see her but Liara reasoned that if Shepard wasn't too tired to see her, Shepard would have come to see her.

But then, if they were two equals in a balanced relationship, maybe she should be the one to initiate contact some of the time? On the other hand, Liara wanted Shepard to respect her. She didn't want to be seen as some child who could not control her own emotions. But again, wasn't it the mature thing to do to admit to oneself that they had needs and to take steps to rationally take care of those needs? But then again, what if she really wasn't thinking normally? What if she really had become an addle-brained sex addict? But then, isn't that just silly? She was a grown woman and grown women starting a new relationship often wanted to see their new partners frequently.

Liara made up her mind. She would go see Shepard. If Shepard just wanted to talk, that would be okay. Liara loved talking with Shepard. She couldn't remember ever having such fascinating, satisfying conversations with any other person in her entire life. And if Shepard wanted to be alone, Liara would just accept it and respect her wishes. She would not become upset like a small child; she would just respect her wishes and not take it personally. Liara hesitated at her door. What if Shepard did reject her? Liara knew through their melds that Shepard had a great deal of affection for her as well as a significant sexual attraction to her. Liara had even felt love coming from Shepard while they were joined though Liara knew that the same chemicals that were coursing through her own brain were also coursing through Shepard's brain as well and it was way too early in their relationship to consider what they had real love. But wasn't it worth the risk if that is what it could possibly become?

Liara left her room and walked through the medical bay. She was glad that there were no medical emergencies at that late hour so Doctor Chakwas was not present to see her sneak out. Liara left the medical bay and turned right. Liara hesitated at Shepard's door but then in a sudden burst of courage, she walked in without knocking first, intent on surprising Shepard, hopefully pleasantly so.

Both Shepard and Doctor Chakwas turned to stare at the interloper. Liara stood just inside the door with her mouth open, frozen to her spot. Doctor Chakwas was the first to break the silence.

"Liara. Is there something that I can help you with? Are you feeling unwell?"

"No! I…I am fine. I…am. I came…I am here to see Commander Shepard. I need to discuss my paper on the prothean extinction with the Commander. I would like her input. Because of her experiences with the beacons."

Doctor Chakwas struggled to keep the smile off her face. "I see. So it's an academic emergency that has you visiting Shepard in the middle of the night?"

Shepard smiled at the comment but said mock-menacingly in warning "Doctor..."

"Well, I am here because the Commander almost knocked herself unconscious today and I wanted to make sure she was okay because she was too stubborn to stay in the medical bay overnight as her doctor recommended."

Liara rushed to stand beside the reclining Commander. "Shepard! You are injured? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Liara. Our Doctor here is just being overly cautious as usual. I didn't want to worry you by telling you about my little injury. It's nothing."

"A concussion is never nothing, Commander." The Doctor said sternly. "You never know when it will be serious and we need to check on you every couple hours for the next day or so to make sure that your condition doesn't worsen."

Liara smiled and stepped away again. "I am very glad to hear that you appear to be alright, Shepard. I will let you get some sleep."

The Doctor saw the panicked look on Shepard's face as Liara turned to leave and spoke again. "Actually, Liara Dear, I was hoping you could do me a favor. The Commander needs to be checked every two hours to make sure that her condition is not worsening and I would love to get some sleep tonight. Perhaps, if the Commander doesn't object, you could stay here with her until morning?"

"The Commander does not object at all!" Shepard said with a broad grin.

"I would be happy to help, Doctor."

"Good. It's settled then." The Doctor said as she moved towards the door. "Oh and Commander, please remember that you are to avoid any strenuous activity until you are cleared." The Doctor threw Shepard a smile over her shoulder as she left the room. Doctor Chakwas chuckled to herself as she turned towards the crew quarters. Her civilian friends and colleagues sometimes asked her if she regretted not getting married and having children. They didn't understand that she already had children, dozens of them and many of the crewmen that she took care of were literally barely more than children. Even the Commander was only 29 years old. Chakwas was very happy to see that she had found someone who seemed to make her happy. She had been concerned about the Commander. Shepard had always been very serious about her job and devoted to her duty but lately, she seemed so serious all the time. It would indeed be a good thing if she found someone to give her a more balanced life.


	6. Chapter 6

Shepard was sitting in her office going over the endless reports. Once she had taken over command of the Normandy, she became privy to an unpleasant truth that only Alliance ship's captains knew, which was that Alliance starships ran on paperwork as much as they ran on element zero. Since it was one of her least favorite chores, the reports had piled up and she was now struggling to catch up. Shepard thought it was a good time to get it done since the cleanup of the Geth had become so routine and they were currently in port awaiting supplies and some repairs. Shepard was amazed that the Council had ignored her warnings that the Geth were not the real threat and she knew that trying to convince them otherwise was going to be a tough battle. For right now, the uphill battle was the mountain of reports in front of her that she knew she must wade through. It didn't help that her thoughts kept getting pulled in the direction of a certain blue alien woman that she had met not too many months before.

Shepard realized that her relationship with Liara had made her ask some uncomfortable questions about herself. If Shepard were being honest, she realized that within a month of meeting someone in the past, she was already getting bored with the relationship and that was not the case with Liara. Most of her past relationships ended not with any drama or with any uncomfortable conversations but mostly they just fizzled without any kind of declaration of exclusivity ever being made. Part of that had to do with being in the Alliance. Being in the Alliance was a demanding job and being an N7, even more so. It occurred to Shepard that she was pushing thirty and had never had a serious relationship before.

In the past, Shepard had never even thought much about it. She just assumed that she would make the Alliance her career and her family as so many other 'lifers' had. Now, she couldn't help but wonder if that is what she really wanted. Would she be happy never having a family? Was being an Alliance soldier alone enough? And now that she was a Spectre as well, was there even any room for being anything else? Was there something inherently wrong with her, maybe because of her lack of a family growing up, which made her incapable of forming a lasting relationship? What if the Reapers came back sooner rather than later? What would she regret more? Would she regret never exploring that aspect of life if she died tomorrow or would she regret starting a relationship when she knew the overwhelming battle that they would inevitably face? The fact was that she knew that the Reapers were coming back but she had no idea when or how.

Maybe it was just facing such a seemingly invincible foe that had Shepard asking these questions. But she had to admit that it was more than that. Since starting an intimate relationship with Liara, Shepard had felt a happiness that she had never felt before. Shepard often got satisfaction out of her job and she had had more than her share of fun when not on duty, literally drinking men twice her weight under the table on more than one occasion. But this felt different and in many ways, better. Maybe she was just finally growing up. Even casual, no-commitment sex and freewheeling carousing got boring after a while.

This was why Shepard had become a very boring person in the last couple years. All work and very little play. On days when she didn't have a mission, she got up early, worked overtime, exercised, read a little and then went to bed early. Despite the news reports and vids that showed the action-packed, adventure-filled life of the heroic Commander Shepard, most people would fall asleep within an hour watching her life. Now, someone had entered Shepard's life who excited her and made her want to get up even earlier just so she could start her day by spending time with Liara or if they were already together from the night before, so that they could make love again. Shepard also had to admit to herself that the sex was the best that she had ever had. She wasn't sure if it was just Liara or if it was the mind/body experience that only an asari can provide. All she knew is that she couldn't get enough. If her duties would permit it, she would gladly spend the next week in bed with Liara.

But that would have to wait until they got some proper shore leave and Shepard managed to wade through these damn reports. Just as Shepard was about to begin the Battle of the Reports in earnest, the communicator on her omni-tool beeped.

"Shepard here."

"Shepard, can you please meet me in the cargo hold. There is something that I need you to see."

_Speak of the devil_, Shepard thought, recognizing Liara's voice. "Can it wait, Liara? I really need to get some of these reports done."

"I would appreciate it if you could come down here right away."

Shepard smiled to herself. _Darn! The reports will just have to wait a little longer_.

"I'll be right there."

Shepard got off the elevator and stepped into the cargo hold. It was darker than usual and Shepard could not see anyone in the large room. Most of the crew were off the ship. Shepard couldn't wait until she got some new orders that would take her away from this station, if only so she could stop doing damn paperwork. For some reason she did not mention in her message, Liara had requested that Shepard meet her in the cargo hold. The only problem is that Liara did not seem to be in the hold at the moment. Shepard stepped further into room.

"Liara? Are you in here somewhere?"

Receiving no response, Shepard reasoned that there had been some kind of miscommunication and stepped over to her crew's equipment lockers to make sure everything was in order. As she stepped closer to the lockers, Shepard caught some movement out of the corner of her eye and then saw the blue energy racing towards her. Before she could dodge it, Shepard found herself floating helplessly in the air, a few feet off the ground. Before Shepard could panic, Liara stepped into her view, a slight smile on her face. It finally dawned on Shepard what was going on and she felt herself getting slightly annoyed.

"Okay Liara. You've had your fun. Now put me down."

"I do not think so, Commander. Not when I have you right where I want you."

Shepard recognized a slight huskiness in Liara's voice and it dawned on her that Liara was playing with her with a specific purpose in mind. Shepard was shocked. Unlike in real life, Liara was not that shy when it came to sex but this was downright bold. Shepard looked towards the elevator, praying no one would get off of it.

"Liara! This is not the place for this! This is a public area. A crewman could come along at any moment."

Liara stepped closer to Shepard. "I do not think so, Commander. I just disabled the elevator. The only one you have to worry about right now is me."

Shepard became aware of the tingling sensation that the blue energy caused on her skin. She also felt tingling in other areas that had nothing to do with the biotics.

"Liara, sooner or later, you will get tired and will have to let me down. If you do it sooner, I will not be mad. If it's later, you're in trouble."

Liara only smiled. "Oh no! I will be in trouble? Now I am afraid! How much do you weigh? 160 or 165? I bet I could hold you up there for quite a while. Maybe until someone comes back from leave, reactivates the elevator and gets down here to see their Commander floating helplessly in the air."

"Have you lost your mind? We are on an Alliance ship and I am that ship's Commander. To say this is inappropriate is a huge understatement."

"Oh come on! You said that if I wanted to try anything, you would be up for it!"

"I didn't think you'd take me so literally. What if a crewman comes back and finds me like this?"

"The sooner you agree to my demands, the less likely that is to happen. It will take them a while to get the elevator operational again. I had no idea you were such a prude. I have read that humans have many inhibitions when it comes to sex."

"I am not a prude! I thought you said the asari were not the sex kittens that the rest of the galaxy sees them as? How can you go from zero to 600 like this in a matter of weeks?"

"I said we are not as promiscuous as the rest of the galaxy sees us. I have had exactly one sexual partner in 106 years. I also said that we are accepting of our sexuality. It is simply a part of life and not something to be ashamed of. I trust you, Shepard and I thought you trusted me. And what do kittens have to do with sex?"

"I do trust you, Liara. What I do not trust is my ability to command the Normandy if everyone under my command snickers when they see me because they know that my girlfriend uses her biotics to turn me into a passive sex toy!"

Liara smirked and moved closer to Shepard. "A passive sex toy? I like the sound of that. Though I admit, I am not quite sure what a sex toy is. Come on, admit it. The thought of me taking control for once turns you on a little. I have done some research and altering the power dynamics in sexual relationships is a recurring theme. Further research has revealed that often, powerful people who have a lot of responsibilities in their lives want to give up some of that responsibility when they engage in sexual activities."

"You're the only person that I know who can make something sound academic and sexy at the same time." Shepard found herself getting excited by the thought of the Liara doing research of that nature. "What kind of research did you do? Did you take notes? Can I watch you doing your research next time? Can I read your notes?"

Liara laughed at Shepard. "If you want to find out about my research, you will just have to do what I say. Right here, right now."

"God, Liara. You definitely have the Sexy Librarian thing down. If we were anywhere else besides the cargo hold of my ship, I'd have no qualms about doing exactly as you say."

Liara looked confused.

"I do not understand. I am an archeologist and researcher, not a librarian or archivist."

Shepard chuckled.

"It's an archetype, Liara. You know, a serious, very intelligent, scholarly woman takes off her glasses and lets down her hair and you get to see the other, wild side of her personality."

Liara still looked confused.

"I have perfect vision, Shepard. And as you know, I have no hair of any kind anywhere on my body."

Shepard chuckled again. "Obviously, you have not run into that archetype in your research yet."

"Enough of this chatter. Time is running short. Take off your clothes for me, Commander."

Shepard looked at the elevator once again. The idea of letting Liara take control and of having sex in a public area was exciting but the consequences if they were discovered were just too great. Shepard sighed.

"I'll take off my clothes for you any time you want, Liara, but this is just too dangerous. I need to maintain my reputation in order to control this ship."

Shepard saw the look of insecurity and disappointment in Liara's eyes. Maybe there was a little shame or embarrassment in them as well. Shepard felt her heart breaking a little at the thought of Liara ever being ashamed of anything that she wanted. As Liara's first sexual partner, Shepard wanted Liara's every memory of their times together to be full of nothing but pleasure and happiness. Liara was such a beautiful soul that she deserved nothing less. Shepard started undressing.

"Okay Liara. You're in charge. What do you want me to do next?"

Afterward, they were cuddling on one of the cots in the cargo hold. Shepard had her arms around Liara who was on her side. Despite the blissful acts that they had both just experienced, Shepard looked a little nervous. Shepard cleared her throat and started to speak.

"Ah, I think we need to discuss something, Liara. Sometimes, when humans are in the throes of passion, they think things that are not accurate. And remember, humans do not meld so we have no skill in controlling our thoughts because there is no need to. No one knows our thoughts normally so we just don't even bother much with the random, crazy thoughts that might be going through our heads at a time like that. You know, when we are...climaxing."

Liara turned to lie on her back, a slight smile on her face.

"Hmmm. So what you are saying is that you do not really want to have sexual intercourse with one of your deities?"

Shepard looked at Liara confused.

"Huh? That's not what I was thinking about. Why? What did I say? Or rather, what did I think?"

"I do not remember the exact sequence but I believe it was something like 'fuck, oh God, fuck me, oh Jesus, oh Jesus fucking Christ'.

Shepard snorted. "Yeah, that probably happened but that's not what I was concerned about. You see, Liara, I care about you and I don't want to deceive you in any way. I want to make sure that we are on the same page as to what our relationship is and what it isn't at this point." Shepard paused and had a hopeful thought. "Or maybe you could not understand what suspect thing I might have thought because I think in English?"

Liara smiled and decided to put Shepard out of her misery.

"Relax, Shepard. We asari are trained how to meld from an early age and how to only let the other person see what we want them to see. I understand that you have not had such training and I would never hold the thoughts that you have in the moment against you. I assumed that you did not mean it when you thought that you loved me and that you wanted to be with me forever."

Shepard breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. I mean, I like you a lot and I have really enjoyed our time together but the whole L word thing is just not where I am right now."

Liara took a deep breath and tried to be brave.

"So, where exactly are we right now then? Before, you called me your girlfriend. I am familiar with the term but I am not exactly sure what it means."

Shepard felt the tension reenter her body. The question sounded a lot like The Talk that Shepard had tried so hard all her life never to have with a lover. But then again, Shepard had never felt this way about a lover previously and she very much wanted Liara to stick around.

"Well, yeah, I guess I do consider you my girlfriend and I hope that you consider me yours." Shepard stopped to consider her words carefully. "Let's see, a girlfriend is a female friend…and I know that the asari don't really think of themselves exactly in those terms but to me, you are female. I hope that doesn't offend you. A girlfriend is…God, it just sounds so adolescent, but a better word escapes me at the moment. A girlfriend is someone who you are dating… exclusively, with the possibility that it might…what am I looking for here? Okay, it is a temporarily exclusive relationship where the two people involved are dating to see what happens next in the relationship. To get to know each other better. To see if it is a good fit with the goal being…well, there isn't really a goal, that's the wrong word. With the _possibility _that the relationship might develop into something long-term. There, clear as mud, right?"

Liara giggled a little.

"You sound like I did when we first met. I have never heard you so inarticulate before." Liara leaned forward and kissed Shepard softly on the lips. "But yes, I would like to be your girlfriend and I would like you to be mine. So, if two people are dating, should there not be actual dates involved?"

Shepard laughed.

"We've had dates. I've taken you to exotic planets, introduced you to interesting people...

"And the interesting people on these exotic planets have always been shooting at us so I am not sure that that counts."

"The next time we are back on the Citadel, we will have an actual date, I promise. I hear that most of the businesses are open again."

"That would be nice."

Shepard hesitated before speaking again.

"I would like you to stay if you can but I'll understand if you want to leave to pursue your academic career."

Liara put a hand over her face before replying bitterly, "What academic career? I've already submitted a preliminary paper on the prothean extinction and the reaper's cyclical attacks and I've been rejected by all the credible academic journals. Before, I was rejected because I was considered too young. Now, I have become a, I think the human phrase is 'laughingstock'."

"They are ignorant fools, Liara, and we both know it. I just hope we can convince someone that the reapers are coming before their ignorance costs us all our lives. This is why no matter what happens between us on a personal level, I hope that you will remain part of the crew for a while. After seeing those visions, I have a gut feeling that the protheans have more to tell us about how to defeat the reapers. I think they got closer than any of the other cycles before them."

"I am not Alliance. I am not even human. Will I be allowed to stay?"

"They haven't said anything about you or any of the other non-Alliance being on board so far. I think being a Spectre allows me latitude that the Alliance wouldn't bother questioning."

Liara smiled and turned towards Shepard.

"Good. That will give us time to 'date' more."

Liara then leaned in and gave Shepard a long kiss. Shepard responded by running her hands up and down Liara's body. Just as Shepard started kissing her way down Liara's body, Liara rolled away suddenly and bolted up off the cot.

"Shepard, put your clothes on! Someone is coming! I can hear someone working on the elevator!"

Shepard was still pulling on her left boot when the elevator door opened and Garrus appeared. Garrus saw Shepard and Liara approaching the elevator swiftly from the area near his cot. Shepard looked a little disheveled, her hair was a mess and her uniform eschew, like she had been in a fight.

"Are you two alright? Why isn't the elevator working?"

"We were…"

"Sparring. Shepard is trying to show me some hand to hand combat techniques. You know, for…"

"For when her biotics are cooling down. Just in case an enemy gets too close. Now, what's wrong with the elevator? It seems to be working just fine to me."

Garrus blinked. There had been rumors that Shepard and Liara were engaged in a romantic relationship and Garrus himself had noticed a certain electric tension between the two. Now, Garrus knew for certain that the rumors were true. But would they be so bold as to do it in the cargo hold? _Did they use my cot?! _

"Were you over near my cot?" Garrus asked indignantly.

"No! Of course not!" Liara blurted out.

"Don't be stupid, Garrus. Why would we be near your cot to spar? I've got reports to do. I can't fool around all day with you and your cot insecurities, Garrus! I can't believe you would even say such a thing." And with that, Shepard turned on her heel and walked into the elevator.

"And I have got…research to do. I thought we were friends, Garrus. I do not like being accused of fooling around on, I mean, with someone's cot. I am very disappointed in you Garrus." Liara ran into the elevator behind Shepard and started hitting the up button repeatedly.

Garrus stood with his mouth open. Part of him was revolted with the thought of someone else using his cot for any purpose, especially that purpose. Another part of him remembered all the vids he had watched over the years featuring just such a couple and he briefly wished that he was the cot.

A few days later, Shepard left XO Pressly in charge on the bridge while she worked in her cabin on the smaller mountain of paperwork that still remained. They had been ordered to the Omega Nebula to investigate several missing ships which the Alliance feared had disappeared due to geth attacks. Since they had not seen any geth or anything else in days, Shepard felt confident that she wouldn't be needed on the bridge. Shepard was just about to put one of the datapads in the 'finished' pile when the ship started swinging wildly. So wildly that the inertia dampeners seemed to have no effect and she was almost thrown to the floor. A few seconds later, she was thrown to the floor as the first blast hit.

Shepard had practiced putting on her armor suit before until she got her time down to sixty seconds but she was pretty sure that she beat her prior record as she ran out of her room and went over to the operation's board on the crew deck. One look and she knew that it was hopeless. She gave the order to abandon ship. She readied the distress beacon and secured her helmet just as Liara came up behind her.


	7. Chapter 7

Shepard and Garrus are walking through the Nos Astra spaceport after sending Miranda and the newly-recruited Thane back to the Normandy. Shepard had just purchased a few upgrades when Garrus noticed the Eternity bar in the distance. Garrus grabbed Shepard's elbow and nodded towards the bar.

"Come on, Shepard. Let your old friend buy you a drink."

Shepard's stern expression didn't change and her lips were tight as she responded. "I'll take a rain check on that, Garrus. There's still too much to do."

"Shepard, you know as well as I do that Donnelly and Daniels won't be done installing the core upgrades for a few hours yet so you can hurry back to the ship and pace, making your crew even more nervous or you can have a drink or two in the bar. Did I say I'm buying? You won't hear that phrase from me very often so you better jump at it while you have the chance."

"Fine. Lead away, Garrus."

They walked into Eternity and took a seat at the bar. Shepard motioned over the asari serving drinks.

"Matriarch Aethyta, wasn't it? We'll both take a shot of whiskey and a beer chaser. My friend here is buying." Shepard ordered.

The unlikely bartender set them both up with drinks suitable to their respective body compositions and then moved away from them slightly, busying herself wiping down glasses.

"Thanks again for helping me with Sidonis. I'm still not sure that I did the right thing but I feel more at peace with the whole thing."

"You're welcome, Garrus. It wasn't your fault, you know. I don't know if I should tell you this but I received a message from a widow of one your old squad mates. She doesn't blame you, Garrus. None of them do. As a matter of fact, she asked that I look out for you."

"That's kind of you to say, Shepard. It was kind of her to say that but we both know that no matter how something goes down, the responsibility is on the one in charge when it goes sideways and someone dies. I accept that. I'll learn to live with it. I wonder how she got your contact info? Maybe when I transferred what was left of the squad's plunder to my squads' families from the Normandy?"

"I have no idea. Wait. You're not just telling me that so you can weasel out of buying, are you?"

Garrus chuckled. "I still have some credits in one of these pockets somewhere." Garrus paused before speaking again. "So, turn around is fair play. If you don't mind me saying, Shepard, you seem more upset and angry than I've ever seen you. Even more than while taking on Saren. What's wrong?"

Shepard snorted. "Are you kidding, Garrus? Less than a month ago, I woke up and was told that I had been dead for two years but that I had been brought back to life by a terrorist organization because it's now my responsibility to save humanity from the collectors and their employer's the reapers. I'm sorry if I'm not the most cheery person right now."

"Spirits know, that's more than enough to make anyone grumpy but are you sure it isn't anything more?"

Shepard sighed and downed her shot. "You saw Liara up there in her office. She's a completely different person and I feel somewhat responsible."

Garrus could tell that his friend was getting uncomfortable with the direction the conversation had taken and he felt uncomfortable himself talking about such things but he also could tell that Shepard needed a friendly ear right now. With Kaidan brushing Shepard off on Horizon, Garrus realized that there was no one else that Shepard could confide in.

Garrus cleared his throught before speaking again. "I know you two were close. Do you still have feelings for her?"

Shepard ignored the question and instead said, "I'm worried about her, Garrus. I told her I would help her with whatever she needed if she just came back to the Normandy but she's so obsessed with getting revenge that she just rejected me outright. She's just become so cold and so angry. And it's my fault. Something happened to her after I died."

Shepard noticed that the asari bartender had moved closer to them, wiping down the bar as she moved. Shepard wondered if she were eavesdropping. Shepard reminded herself not to talk about anything that might adversely affect the mission while on Illium. "Aethyta, we'll both have another round." The bartender made no indication that she heard. Shepard spoke louder. "Another round, please." Aethyta looked up seemingly unaware.

"Sorry about that. After nearly a thousand years, your hearing just isn't what it used to be. Two more of the same?", Aethyta asked. Shepard nodded and waited until the bartender served the drinks and moved away before speaking again. Shepard lowered her voice and leaned in closer to Garrus.

"If something happens to her on her crazy quest for revenge, it will be my fault, Garrus."

"No, it won't Shepard. She's a grown woman. She needs to do what she needs to do just like you do. What happens to her is in her own hands. You offered to take her back on the Normandy and she rejected you. I know that must hurt..."

Before Garrus could finish his sentence, Shepard downed the rest of her drinks and pushed back off the bar.

"I gotta go. I'll see you back on the Normandy, Garrus. Thanks for the drinks.", Shepard said as she turned and quickly walked out of the bar.

"And who the fuck are you to make that decision for me? What right did you have?"

"That's true, Shepard. I had no right. Just like Cerberus had no right to bring you back to life to do their bidding."

"That's right. I'm a person. I'm a fucking person. Not some machine built to kill the other machines."

Liara was surprised at the anger and resentment radiating from Shepard. When Shepard burst into her office unannounced and uninvited, she had tried to steel herself but she didn't think it would be this bad. Shepard _was _right, of course. Ceberus was using Shepard and in a way, Liara had used her too by giving her to Cerberus. Liara couldn't live with her death so she gave her body to Cerberus to give her some hope and some relief from her overpowering feelings of grief. And while doing so, she almost got herself killed and most likely, got a friend killed as well.

"I know that, Shepard. But I did it because I care about you."

"Bullshit. If you cared about me, you'd come help me instead of being obsessed with this Shadow Broker or maybe, you're really just obsessed with your friend. You did it because you're just like everyone else and you want something from me. Maybe you're afraid that you wouldn't get your last 900 years without me around to fight the reapers."

Liara saw the hurt in Shepard's eyes and realized that she was the cause of it. But her own anger momentarily overwhelmed her. Shepard had no idea what she had gone through the last two years. She had no idea the pain that she had caused her. Before she could stop herself, her hand came up and she threw her coffee cup so that it hit the wall behind Shepard. All the muscles in Shepard's body tensed and for an instant, Liara feared that Shepard would throw something back. Instead, Shepard turned abruptly and left her office. Liara felt the tears well up in her eyes. She resisted the urge to run after her. For a moment, Liara wished that Shepard had thrown something instead of leaving her alone again.

Shepard stormed out of Liara's office, furious with herself that she had confronted Liara. She should have known better than to talk to her about this after she had been drinking. Now, she had put the final nail in the coffin that was once what she thought was a promising relationship. Even growing up an orphan on the streets of New York City, she had never felt as alone as she did at that moment. Liara had given her body to Cerberus!

Shepard almost couldn't believe it. She was some kind of monster brought back from the dead to fight the collectors and by extension, the reapers. It was just like she was some kind of tool that they needed to repair in order to complete some task. Not a person, a tool. And like any good tool, she was supposed to just do her job without any complaint and without any free will. Liara said that she had no choice. That it was Cerberus or the Collectors but Shepard didn't believe that. She could have just brought her body back to the Alliance to be buried or even to some backwater planet somewhere to be laid to rest.

Instead, Liara had given her body to a twisted organization that Shepard knew, from first-hand experience, had been involved in some very gruesome experiments. Now, apparently, she was the new gruesome experiment. And Liara let them have her. It would have been one thing if she did it because of her attachment to Shepard but judging by the cold reception she had received, that wasn't the motivation. Instead, Liara had treated her like an acquaintance and set her to work doing illegal and morally-questionable things to aid her obsession to avenge her friend. Liara was obviously in love with this friend or had been if he were dead. It was the only logical explanation for her behavior.

Whatever they had once shared, if it had been shared at all and not just a one-sided crush on Shepard's part, was over now. Liara had moved on and had found someone else. The rational part of Shepard's mind knew that she couldn't fault Liara for being unfaithful to a dead lover that she had only been with for a few weeks on the off chance that a racist terrorist organization could somehow bring her back to life but Shepard didn't feel like being rational. Cerberus had given Shepard information that would be helpful to Liara in finding this Shadow Broker but Shepard would be damned before she would give it to her. Shepard would not be used anymore. Not by anyone. Not even by Liara. She would stop the Collectors because she had no choice but then all of them, including Cerberus, could just go fuck themselves.

A couple weeks later, Shepard came to visit Garrus in his usual haunt near the Normandy's gun batteries. Garrus had his back to Shepard, seemingly absorbed in his work. Shepard hesitated before clearing her throat and speaking.

"Hey Garrus. How's it going?"

"Good as far as I can see. It's great having Tali back. No offense to our new shipmates but it's good to see an old hand back on board. Someone I know that I can trust."

"Agreed. Especially considering who is sponsoring our mission. It's nice to know that some aboard have my back without any hidden agendas or divided loyalties. Listen Garrus, I have a favor to ask."

"Ask away, Shepard."

"Remember back a couple weeks when we were talking about Liara? Something's come up. Cerberus provided me with some intel that they tell me will help her find this Broker that she's after. It's not part of our mission against the Collectors. Well, not directly, but this Broker was working with the Collectors."

"Okay. I'm in. Back to Illium?"

"Since it's not what anyone here signed up for, it will be volunteer only. I don't feel comfortable ordering anyone to help me with this. But it's something I have to do. It's personal. You don't have to…"

"Shepard. I said I'm in. For weeks, you've been chasing all over the galaxy taking on missions for all of us so that we can get our heads on straight. So that we get some personal closure and we're all ready for the Collectors. I think you need to do this, Shepard, and I want to do it too. Don't forget, I know Liara too."

"Are you sure, Garrus? I don't know much about this Shadow Broker except that he's powerful. It might be a dangerous mission."

Garrus chuckled. "Unlike all our other missions, Shepard? Let's get to it. And you might consider asking Tali too. She and Liara used to be friends. Not to mention the girl crush she has on you."

"Thanks Garrus. You better be careful. You keep coming through for me like this and my pro-human terrorist group employer might start thinking that my best friend is a goddamn turian. How embarrassing would that be?"

_Not to mention that you are obviously in love with an asari_, Garrus thought but instead said, "Almost as embarrassing as my turian friends and family thinking that my best friend is a human female. It doesn't get any worse than that!"

Shepard couldn't help but chuckle. "Alright, Garrus. We should be there in about twelve. I'll let you know when we're almost there."


	8. Chapter 8

"Well, that was...quick." Shepard said, smiling.

"It was a long two years and then seeing you again... I was ready."

Shepard collapsed on top of Liara, buried her face in Liara's neck and laughed. "It's been over two years for me too! I mean, I barely touched you!"

"Unlike you bestial humans, for us it is as much mental as it is physical and like I said, I was ready. And you were dead or unconscious for two years so it doesn't count." Liara tried to sound stern but giggled as well.

Shepard rolled off Liara but then rolled onto her side and pressed her body against Liara's body. She ran her hand up and down Liara's bare torso. "Don't get me wrong. It was great. I love sharing your mindgasms but I'm not quite entirely satisfied yet."

Liara smiled again and feigned a move to get up. "Well, I should get back to work now. Thanks for the tour of the new Normandy and the drink."

Shepard wrapped a powerful arm around Liara's waist and threw her leg over Liara's legs to prevent her from leaving. "Oh, you're not going anywhere. Not done yet!"

After, Shepard was lying on her back and Liara was lying on her side with her head on Shepard's shoulder. Shepard thought back on the events of the last few weeks. Liara had changed and before they had defeated the Shadow Broker, Shepard had been seriously worried about her. After their first meeting on Ilium, Shepard thought that they would never be together like this again and it had hurt her much more than she wanted to admit, even to herself. But beyond their personal relationship, Shepard feared that Liara had irrevocably changed for the worse. After their melds, Shepard realized that the Liara that she knew was still very much there but Shepard felt like they needed to talk more about what had happened.

"I know that you went through a lot, Liara, and I'm sorry for any heartache that I caused you. I care about you a great deal which was why I was a little concerned when I saw you on Illium."

Liara sighed. "I'm fine, Shepard."

"Just be careful, Liara. You can get to a point where there's no going back. Where the person you are just dies and there's no way to get her back."

Liara rolled over on her back and away from Shepard.

"Of course. You were the first person that I melded with so naturally you want me to stay a stupid, little girl forever to satisfy your own ego."

"Ouch. You really want to hurt me, don't you? I didn't die on purpose. I know I hurt you but it wasn't deliberate. That 'stupid, little girl' is someone that I like and greatly admire. I'm not trying to tell you what to do. I'm just saying that I've seen it a million times before in the gangs and in the military too. A person gets hurt so they harden themselves until there's nothing left to protect. The unique, caring, wonderful person who they were before is just gone."

"I really don't need one of your lectures, Oh Great and Powerful Commander Shepard. I'm smart enough to take care of myself. Smarter than you, actually."

"Obviously, someone is dealing with a lot of irrational, unresolved anger here. That's okay. Just keep getting the shots in there. I can take quite a few before I go down."

"Apparently not. Apparently, you are pretty easy to kill."

"It was an air leak in my suit that got me. Might have survived until the rescue crews came if it weren't for that or maybe I would have just fallen into the atmosphere anyway. I was so close to getting in that pod. It came down to a matter of seconds."

"I don't want to tell you how to command but maybe next time if a crewman disobeys a direct order and refuses to evacuate, then you should just get in the pod yourself, you Dumb Fuck." Liara paused, trying to control her voice before continuing. "I didn't want to leave either. But you gave me a direct order and I followed it. And then you died."

Shepard turned on her side so that she could look at Liara.

"Whoa. Wait a minute. You can't blame yourself for what happened. There was nothing that you could have done except get yourself killed as well." Liara refused to meet Shepard's eyes. "Liara. Look at me."

Liara reluctantly turned her head towards Shepard. "I won't have you feeling guilty over something that was completely beyond your control. There was nothing that you could have done to save me if you had stayed. You did the right thing. Joker did the wrong thing and sometimes when you do the wrong thing in combat situations, someone pays with their lives. But Joker made up for it. He's saved us a few times fighting the Collectors. I think that's all any of us can do. Make mistakes, try to learn from them and try to do better next time. God knows, I've made more than my share and other people have paid the price for them."

Liara rolled on her side to face Shepard once again, a look of sadness on her face that made Shepard's stomach hurt. "I made mistakes too. Feron got tortured for two years because of me. I did…bad things in the past two years. And I gave you to Cerberus..."

"Feron made his own mistakes which were a big part of why he was captured and tortured for two years. And I'm only here now to try to learn from my own mistakes because you gave me to Cerberus. I'm sorry that I got mad at you when you told me. I was so confused. I felt so lost and so alone. I knew I couldn't trust Cerberus but then I had to do something to stop the attacks on the colonies. At times, I wished that I had just been left to rest. But I don't feel that way anymore. If I didn't say it before, I'll say it now. Thank you, Liara, for saving me."

"You might feel differently once you face the Collector's base."

"I don't think so. You gave me a chance to do some good and you gave me the chance to be here with you. And now I've got a chance to fight for a future."

"In that case, you're welcome." Liara leaned forward and gave Shepard a kiss.

"Shepard?"

"Yes?"

"I never stopped wanting you. I'm sorry if I hurt you before when we first met again because I was so cold. There was never anyone else."

"I know that now. But thank you for saying it. Not that it means much but I haven't been with anyone else either." Shepard paused and then forced herself to continue. She didn't want there to be any secrets between them. Sometimes wounds needed to be in the open air to heal. "I was hurt by that because for me, it felt like no time at all since we were last together. Do you remember that time you used your biotics on me in the cargo bay of the original Normandy? For me, that literally feels like it happened mere months ago."

"And for me, that was over two long, dark, scary, sad years ago. In some ways, it feels like a lifetime ago. I never understood before what that meant when people used that expression. Now I know."

Shepard knew that there was nothing she could say that would take away Liara's pain. There was nothing she could say or do to guarantee that she would never get hurt again because of Shepard. So instead, she just held Liara as tightly as she could, reassuringly running her hand up and down Liara's back. After a few timeless moments, Shepard decided to try to lighten the mood again.

"Are you still mad? I could stand up so you can use your biotics to throw me around the room a little bit."

"I wouldn't need you to stand up first. I could throw you around right from there." Liara said with a smirk.

Shepard laughed. "I noticed that your biotics have gotten a lot stronger. The way you took down the Broker was pretty impressive. That's a good thing. I'll need a strong girlfriend to protect me when I'm old and weak."

"Which, if I understand the human lifespan correctly, is not that far off."

"Not funny." Shepard smirked. "I'll tell you what's funny. I'm so good in bed that my lover had to recover my body so that I could be brought back to life just so that she could get me into bed again."

Liara ripped the pillow from underneath Shepard's head and hit her with it. "That's probably only because I've had nothing to compare it to. I have another 900 years left. I'll have way better, I'm sure."

Shepard recovered her pillow, straddled Liara's hips and hit Liara with the pillow. "I'll show you the real reason they call me 'savior' and 'conqueror'." Shepard threw the pillow away and pinned Liara's arms to the bed. Just as she was about to lean forward and begin her attack, Liara gasped and touched Shepard's right hip gently.

"Goddess! What is this? You're as blue as I am!"

"It's nothing. It's just a bruise. I got thrown around quite a bit fighting the Broker and shields and armor don't stop everything."

"I'm so sorry, Shepard."

"Don't worry about it. Occupational hazard."

Liara gently caressed Shepard's hip and smiled coyly as she said "Perhaps I can kiss it and make it better?"

Shepard smiled and then leaned forward to kiss Liara's lips.

"I suppose it's worth a try."


	9. Chapter 9

Shepard was standing in the conference room. The team was standing around the table. Everyone was in a good mood but they were also a little confused as to what was going to happen next.

"Edi, open the comm to the rest of the ship."

"Comm open, Commander."

Shepard paced a little before beginning to speak. "I just want to thank everyone on this ship for their outstanding service. We defeated the Collectors and we were only able to do it because every single person on this ship did their job and did it well. As of right now, this ship is officially an Alliance vessel. I understand if some of you have an allegiance to Cerberus and if you want to be dropped off somewhere, we can make a detour. If you decide to stay, I will do everything in my power to make sure that you get the recognition that you deserve and that no negative actions are taken against you by the Alliance. I can't guarantee what the Alliance is going to do. I don't know if I will still be in command of this ship once we dock at Alliance headquarters so I'll understand if you want to leave now. God knows, you all deserve a medal for your service above and beyond but there are no guarantees. It's been an honor serving with all of you and you have my gratitude. Commander out."

Jack smirked at Shepard. "Nice speech, Shepard."

"Thanks for your support, Jack."

"But what's really going to happen when we get to the Alliance?"

"I have no idea but from talking with Admiral Hackett, I get the feeling that I might be court marshaled. But then he also talked about some covert mission. He didn't go into details." Shepard lied about the last part. She knew exactly where she was headed next and what the mission was about.

"Typical Alliance nonsense. We save the galaxy and they are more concerned that you broke protocol." Miranda shook her head as she was speaking.

"We all know that this isn't the end to this. The Reapers are still coming. It's a matter of when rather than if. Maybe if I go back and throw myself at their mercy, I can get someone to listen."

"The Council, our governments, it's never helped before but I guess we have to keep trying." Garrus said. "Because what else can we do? One ship is not going to be able to do anything once they come."

"Agreed. I'll delay getting back to Earth a little bit to give you all time to think about what you want to do next. And where you might want to go." Shepard paused before continuing. "But first, we're going to make a little stop back at Hagalaz. There might still be valuable information at the Shadow Broker's old base that we can use. Dismissed everyone and thank you all."

Miranda, Jacob, Grunt, Legion, and Mordan filed out but Tali and Garrus remained behind as did Jack.

Tali smirked behind her mask and it could be heard in her voice when she said, "I think it's a good idea for you to go get some."...Tali paused for effect..."Information, that is, Shepard."

Garrus smirked as well as he said "Spirits know, after all we've been through, we could all use some good..information."

Instead of responding, Shepard glared or at least tried to glare, at her crewmen, turned on her heel and left the room, the tiniest of smiles on her face.

Jack looked at Garrus and Tali. "I don't get it. If Shepard received an order from the Alliance to go on some mission, why are we going back to Hagalaz when the Information Guy is already dead?"

Garrus and Tali looked at each other, both trying to decide how much they should reveal to the new team member with the obvious emotional issues. Finally, Tali spoke. "Liara stayed behind to get as much information as possible from the now totally dead ship's files. She and Shepard have a relationship."

"Hah! Are you trying to tell me that Shepard is defying an order for a booty call?!"

"I'm sure Shepard has good professional reasons to go there as well."

"So, who is this Liara? Is that the Blue Chick? She didn't look like much. Why did she stay there anyway?"

"She's a researcher. She just stayed behind to get any information that might have been left behind."

"Huh. So, Shepard and a booty call? Maybe she's not the pussy that I thought she was. Though, apparently, that's what she likes. At least I'm assuming that that's what the squids have."

Tali and Garrus, embarrassed, both leave the room without another word. Jack found herself standing alone in the conference room._ I wonder why the Bitch never hit on me? _

Liara watched Shepard approaching through the security feed. She already knew, from various sources, that the Collectors had been defeated and that the Normandy had returned from beyond the Omega 4 relay but she could tell by the way Shepard walked and the look on her face that it had been a good day. The near-constant worry that Liara recognized in her lover's face was gone for once. At least temporarily. Liara had been a nervous wreck while Shepard had been away. Even the mild sedatives that Liara had managed to get from Dr. Chakwas when she had visited the Normandy, had not been of much help until she received the news that Shepard and the Normandy had survived.

Liara turned and waited by the door, giving Shepard a hug and a kiss as she entered. Shepard held Liara's hands.

"I take it that everything went well?"

"We defeated the Collectors and destroyed their base."

"I heard."

"Of course you did." Shepard smiled before continuing, "We didn't lose anyone. The Collectors came while I was gone and took my crew but we got them back. Everyone on the squad made it through with just minor injuries."

"I'm very happy to hear that Shepard."

Shepard's face fell a little and she moved away from Liara. "We weren't able to save the colonists. What they were doing to them is just beyond words. And the Reapers are still coming. We only delayed them a little and..."

Liara interrupted Shepard. "But you stopped them today. And you got all your people out. Maybe we need to celebrate winning a battle even if the war is yet to be won."

"True." Shepard smiled again. "I thought for sure that there would be casualties. I thought we would lose people but everyone made it back. So, it was a good day."

"And I am very glad to see you, Shepard. In one piece."

Shepard moved closer to Liara again. "And I am very glad to be here in one piece." Shepard grinned as she moved closer still to Liara.

Liara asked coyly, trying not to smile. "So, is there some reason for this visit? Is there something that I can help you with? I heard that you were returning to the Alliance."

"I don't even want to know how you know that. I came to see you. I made you a promise." Shepard was grinning broadly now and put her hands on Liara's hips. "During our last visit, someone said that if I came back alive, they'd make it worth my while. Sexually."

Liara chuckled. "I don't remember the conversation going exactly that way. And you're very subtle."

"Well, I don't remember the exact words but I remember clearly that certain things were promised. Sexual things, in case I didn't make that clear. And, well, here I am."

Shepard pulled Liara in closer to her body as Liara spoke.

"Perhaps you could refresh my recollection of exactly what was promised? Sometimes stimulating the senses can trigger memories. But not here. Drone, can you go see if the other Shadow Broker needs you for anything?"

"Of course, Shadow Broker."

"Okay, quick. Let's go to my room and lock the door before it comes back."

Later, Shepard and Liara are standing outside the airlock to the Normandy, saying their goodbyes.

"Well, there is something else I need to do before we head back to Earth. Just one more little mission. It should be quick and easy."

"Just be careful, Shepard. The batarians are no joke and they really don't like humans. You won't be able to talk your way out of any trouble."

Shepard shook her head. "It scares me the things that you know. I'm glad that you have these resources now instead of the Shadow Broker but I'm not sure any one person should have that much information and power."

"Good thing I have such a wise and ethical girlfriend to keep me on the straight and narrow."

Shepard smiled. "And I'm very glad that I have such a brilliant but sarcastic girlfriend who is determined not to let my head get too big."

Liara only smiled in return. Shepard continued, "I know you have probably already thought of this because you're so much smarter than me but you can be sure that Cerberus knows who the new Shadow Broker is and that they will soon figure out where you are. If the Illusive Man sees you as a threat or he wants these resources, he will not hesitate to attack this base. We are all expendable in his eyes."

"And no doubt Miranda would help him. She is Cerberus first. Just be careful with her around."

"I'm not so sure about that. I think she is currently reevaluating her allegiances. Regardless, I don't think if it came down to it, that she would betray me personally."

Liara sighed. "One day you are going to be wrong with one of your gambles. I just hope I am around to help you when it happens."

"My gut usually pays off and it's backed up by a lot of experience. And if it makes you feel any better, there is always that part of me who is ready for anything in those situations."

"But you are not infallible so you taking greater care would be greatly appreciated. Please let me know that you're alright when you get a chance."

Shepard smiled and pulled Liara in for a hug goodbye. "I thought I'd ask you how I was. I thought you'd know before I do."

"Funny." Despite the word, Liara looked serious when she pulled back and looked into Shepard's eyes. "Shepard, I ..." _love you_, Liara thought but instead said, "just be careful, okay?"

Shepard leaned in and kissed Liara. "You too. Hopefully, I'll see you again soon."


	10. Chapter 10

Shepard was drinking with Garrus at a Citadel bar. They had really not had a chance to talk since Garrus came back onboard the Normandy and Shepard decided they could both stand some downtime during a supply run to the Citadel. Despite the fact that Palaven was under attack, Garrus was actually looking happy for once. The drinks were having a positive effect on him while they were only making Shepard feel more morose.

"Now, I'm a Gentleman so I don't want to brag but this young woman was particularly beautiful and she was all over me."

_Yup. Garrus is getting drunk if he's talking about his sex life_. "It's desperate times and desperate people do desperate things. Maybe she had 'have sex with a scarface' on her bucket list and you just had good timing."

"No, she was very into me. Very into me." Garrus said with huge smirk or what passes for a smirk on a Turian face.

"Well, congratulations Garrus. I hope you got her contact information because women who are that into you have to be as rare as hanar with tits."

Garrus laughed. "So, how are you and Liara doing?"

Shepard considered whether she should confide in Garrus or not. Garrus was just horrible with any kind of 'girl talk' with 'girl talk' being defined as any conversation that had to deal with any kind of emotion whatsoever, with the possible exceptions of battle rage and pride in one's kills, but there was no one that Shepard trusted more. They had fought together so often that Shepard knew that no matter what Shepard told Garrus, he would not think any less of her as a soldier or as his commander. Shepard leaned in closer to Garrus and lowered her voice.

"Well, she says that she still wants to be a couple, but she's all business when we are together." Shepard paused before confessing further. "We have not been together together since that last visit to Hagalaz."

"Oh. Well, hmm, that's...not good. What does she say when you bring it up?"

"That's the problem. How do I even broach the subject without seeming like a callous, selfish asshole?" Shepard changed her voice to take on the persona of a letch. " 'I know people are dying on Earth and Palaven by the millions and you are working like 20 hours a day to try to save people and find clues to the catalyst but forget all that and let's go screw' ".

"Yeah. I see your point. But I also see your other point. I don't know how humans are but I bet the turians left on Pavalen are having sex at increased rates if anything. If only out of desperation and to have someone to hold onto."

"Humans are the same way. In times like these, if they are not in immediate danger, they are going to be looking for comfort or just stress release in the arms of people they wouldn't even give the time of day to under normal circumstances." Shepard paused to have more of her drink. "But I'm just trying to have a relationship here and there's been no progress. Whenever I just try to kiss her, she puts me off and says 'Later'. That's my new nickname for her. 'Later, Later!' " Shepard continued bitterly. "Do you know that since I was brought back to life, I've only had sex twice?! That's only twice in almost 3 flipping years! I can see my epitaph now: Commander Shepard, born-again Virgin, gave her life fighting the Reapers. She died as she lived, sexually frustrated!"

Garrus chuckled lightly. "Well, you were dead for two of those years so that's not too bad. And you were locked up for six months. Oh yeah, and the whole reapers thing!" Garrus paused trying to find the right words. "For what it's worth, I think you two have something special. While I haven't spoken to Liara specifically about you since I came onboard, I get the sense that she still loves you."

"You think she loves me? She's never said that to me. What does that even mean?"

"Again, it's not something she has said specifically. It's just little clues that I've picked up from her but my guess is that she was in love with you from the very beginning and it hasn't stopped since then. And what about you? If you are just sexually frustrated, why not just pick someone else?" Garrus grinned. "I could make an announcement in this bar right now. Commander Shepard, galactic hero, is looking for companionship. I bet a few hands would go up despite how ugly you are."

"Funny, Vakarian. You've gotten better at this 'girl talk' stuff."

"Alcohol makes me better at everything except for shooting."

"Remind me to lock up the liquor before our missions then."

"My point, and I do have one, is that there must be something keeping you from just having your needs met elsewhere. Maybe if you figure out what that is and express it to her then your troubles will be over."

"What are you trying to suggest? Not that L word crap? I don't even believe in that stuff."

Garrus looked sideways at his friend and comrade. "What do you mean, you don't believe in it? You don't believe it exists?"

"I don't think there is any such thing as being 'in love'. It's just lust and or affection disguised as something else. People just created the notion to sell love songs and vids."

_We're going to need more alcohol_, Garrus thought as he motioned to the bartender for another round. The bartender brought them both another beer and a shot. _And I always thought that Shepard was less emotionally retarded than I was. She is always so good with people. But this definitely seems like a weak spot. _

"Well, you can argue that it frequently doesn't work out and you can definitely argue that it is not the best way to make marital and mating decisions but I don't think you can argue that it doesn't exist."

"Nonsense. It's just affection added to lust. Plain and simple. Are you saying that you have been 'in love' before?" Shepard said sarcastically and used air quotes.

"Yes. And I've definitely been in lust before and there is definitely a difference between the two. Let me ask you a question, Shepard. How do you feel when you look at Liara?"

"Lust for sure. And affection. And respect. I really admire her. She's a very intelligent, kind and capable person. And so beautiful! God, she's just so beautiful. She would make anyone a good partner. I am really amazed at what she's been able to accomplish. The war effort would be dead in the water without her. And then the people that she's helped through her Shadow Broker resources, it's very impressive. And then her biotic powers are just incredible, especially for someone her age. You remember when we took down the Broker? We were just in sync. We barely had to use words or hand signals or anything to know what the other was going to do. And she took him down using this incredibly powerful biotic field. It was amazing to see."

Garrus noticed that Shepard unconsciously smiled while talking about Liara. "I didn't see because you two let me be knocked unconscious, remember? But never mind that. How do you feel when you look at her? Physically, not intellectually."

Shepard thought about it and rolled her eyes. "I get weak in the knees? Is that what you're looking for? I told you. Lust. When I touch her sometimes, even just brush her hand, this electricity shoots through my body. Sometimes, it's literally like I'm being electrocuted. I can't believe I'm telling you this shit. If you ever repeat any of this to anyone..." Instead of finishing her thought, Shepard tilted her head back and downed her shot.

"Hmmm. Are there any other physical symptoms?"

Shepard sighed. "Besides the temporary physiological changes that I'm not going to discuss with you?" Shepard paused and again leaned in closer to Garrus. "My heart flops around in my chest. It was so bad the other day that I went to the Doctor to get it checked out. I thought maybe my implants were failing. Doctor Chakwas couldn't find anything wrong with me. And then sometimes, when I think about her, I get sick to my stomach and I get the urge to run away."

Garrus laughed and rolled his eyes. "Are you listening to yourself here? I think you might have a real problem, Shepard. If it were just lust, why would your heart get involved? When you aren't even engaged in any physical activity? And there is a reason they call it lovesick."

Shepard scowled and finished her other drink. "New subject! I don't have time for this shit. This whole conversation is just making me feel pathetic."

"People in love often feel that way." Garrus teased his friend. "So, anyway. I was at this store today and I saw this sweet thermal scope for assault rifles. I was hoping that I could convince you to spend some of those Alliance credits to get it for us."

"Yeah, I've used those before and they are really effective against smoke barriers. I'll look into it. They might really come in handy especially if we keep running into these Cerberus clowns who just love their smoke grenades. I feel like shouting to them, save the grenades, assholes. I'm going to kill you anyway so why don't you just come out of the smoke and line up?" Shepard paused, deep in thought. "It's probably irrelevant anyway."

Garrus was confused. "Why are thermal scopes irrelevant? I already have one for my personal sniper rifle but with the amount of bullets that we've had to lay down recently, I really think it would be helpful to be able to equip it on my assault rifle as well."

"Even if I were having those feelings for Liara, I don't think she feels the same way. She's been really keeping me at arm's length. I think she's changed her mind about the whole relationship."

Garrus sighed and signaled the bartender again for another round. "I thought we had changed the subject? And you don't know what she's feeling until you talk to her about it."

"No, I know it. I don't think she's interested anymore. If she felt that way, she wouldn't be distant like this."

"You won't find out by talking to me. You need to talk to her." It occurred to Garrus that Shepard, Savior of the Citadel, Conqueror of the Collectors, Galactic Hero, was afraid. Not just afraid but afraid to the point of inaction which Garrus had never seen in his friend before. Garrus laughed. "It's ironic that one of the bravest people that I've ever met and I'm a turian so I've met a lot, is too afraid to tell her girlfriend how she feels. Just think about this for a minute, you aren't too afraid to face thresher maws or a damn reaper but Liara is just too scary." Garrus chuckled again.

Shepard glared at his friend. "You're drunk. I'm not afraid. I'm just being strategic. You don't just jump into battle not knowing the situation if you can help it."

"I'm not drunk. I've only had ten or is it, eleven now. And it's a relationship, not a battle."

"And yet, it feels oddly similar. Like you have to remain on your toes because the fatal shot could come at any moment from anywhere."

Garrus pondered as he started his next drink. "I bet she's afraid too. I'd be terrified if I were her."

"Why? Well, besides the fact that we are always getting shot at and are facing an undefeatable enemy?" Garrus and Shepard both chuckled grimly.

"So, let's just say for the sake of argument, she does have these L word feelings for you. You are pretty high profile. You have people coming on to you all the time. She has to worry if you really care about her or she is just a passing fling."

"I have never given her any indication that I am anything but serious about pursuing a real relationship with her. In fact, when she has hesitated before, I was always full thrusters ahead."

"That's the other possible fear I see. You are always full thrusters ahead. What did you say to that reporter the other day? You were going to defeat the Reapers or you would die trying. If you in a relationship with someone who says things like that and who always jumps out in front in any battle, wouldn't you be terrified? She's already lost you once."

"She was pretty upset about that. She made me promise that I'd always come back even though we both know how ridiculous that promise is." Shepard threw up her hands in frustration. "What can I do about that? That's a problem I can't solve. I can't fight Cerberus and the Reapers and do it carefully. I can't get the job done and think of my own safety first."

"Right. And she knows that too. What you see as apathy could be self-preservation. It could be that you both have the same decision to make. Is it worth the risk? Or rather, which is the worse risk? If you admit these feelings and tell her about them and she doesn't feel the same way or if she dies tomorrow, will that be worse than if she dies tomorrow never knowing how you feel? Or to use the human expression: 'Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?'"

Shepard started laughing and put her head in her hands. "I don't know which is worse, the fact that we are facing the end of advanced organic life in the galaxy and I'm worrying about my love life or the fact that I have a turian philosopher on my crew. Just add alcohol and my turian friend changes from a coolly capable killer to a philosopher spouting poetry!"

"Buy me another round and I might manage to tell you the meaning of life."

"It's worth a try", Shepard said as she motioned again to the bartender.

Garrus appeared deep in thought for a few minutes.

"Hmmm. Thinking of you as a weapons system, I wonder if it would be better if Liara returned your feelings or if she rejected you? On the one hand, we don't want you so despondent that you lose your will to fight but on the other hand, you are a very efficient weapon when you are angry or frustrated."

"And just like that, the philosopher disappears and the turian returns. I'm not a weapons system, Garrus, I am a person."

"Well, yeah, sure. You're a person but you're also a weapon's system and we need to think about your efficiency. Maybe if you two work things out, I should talk to Liara about not making you _too _happy."

Shepard suddenly pictured the conversation in her head. At first, Liara would be appalled that Garrus was discussing such a personal matter with her but then Shepard could see Liara the scientist emerge and the two logically discussing the best way to test the correct amount of sexual activity to produce the greatest battle efficiency. Shepard shook her head to clear it. She was definitely starting to get drunk.

"If you ever discuss this with anyone, Vakarian, especially Liara and I will hurt you. As a matter of fact, you are not even allowed to think about the two of us together or what we might do when we are together."

Garrus didn't hear Shepard, seemingly too lost in his thoughts to pay her any attention. Whether he was thinking about sex between two female-type aliens or weapons systems was unknown but as he was a turian male, both were equally as likely.


	11. Chapter 11

Shepard and Liara were the last to leave the Kodiak. As Shepard moved around Liara, she paused and spoke to Liara in a low voice.

"I want you in my bed tonight." Shepard growled into Liara's ear. "And that's an order."

Liara's first thought upon hearing the words was to laugh. But then she saw the intense, heated look on Shepard's face and she felt the flood between her own legs. Her next thought was to throw off all her clothing and to launch herself naked at Shepard, right there in the shuttle bay, regardless of whom was watching. Instead, she swallowed a few times until she thought it was safe to speak without her voice cracking and said "Aye, aye, Commander." Instead of responding, Shepard turned on her heel and got on the elevator, throwing her one last fierce look before the doors closed.

Later that night, Liara was about to obey the command when one of her monitors started blinking. An Operative from one of the Terminus systems. And then another. And then another. One of the inconvenient things about trying to operate as the Shadow Broker from the Normandy is that the ship tried to follow a regular diurnal cycle while her Operatives throughout the galaxy did not. One of those reporting in could wait, the other two could not. Liara answered the call. She would just have to try to get her business finished quickly.

The next morning, Shepard came to see her in her office. She looked angry. Not quite angry really, she looked disappointed and worse, she looked a little hurt.

"I'm sorry, Shepard. I meant to come last night. I wanted to come. But then I got so busy. I actually fell asleep at my desk."

"What do I have to say, Liara? Pretty please with sugar on top? We've been back on the Normandy for weeks now and I haven't been able to spend any time alone with you. I know your work is very important but what about us? Aren't we important? Aren't I important?"

Liara felt her stomach drop at Shepard's words. "Of course you are, Shepard. I want to spent time alone with you more than anything. But what if I don't work hard enough and I miss something? What if the Catalyst is right there under our noses somewhere and I miss it?"

Shepard felt guilty for even asking. Shepard felt like the callous, selfish asshole she spoke to Garrus about. Shepard sighed.

"I know, Liara. I know how hard you're working. I'm sorry for even asking."

Liara stepped closer to Shepard and grabbed her hand. "Don't be. I want you too, Shepard. And I know how hard you're working and how much stress you're under. I'll find some time, I promise. Just the two of us."

Shepard put on her best fake smile. "Well, just let me know when you have the time. I worry about you, you know. I'm afraid that I'm going to come in here one day and find you collapsed on the floor because you never sleep and you don't eat enough."

Liara snorted. "That's hilarious coming from you. When was the last time you got eight hours of sleep?"

"In jail. Plenty of time to sleep in there. I'll let you get back to work, Liara."

As Shepard turned to leave, Liara saw the brief look of sadness on her face and she felt her heart spasm in her chest. Now, Liara felt guilty. She remembered on the SR 1 how kind Shepard had been to her. No matter how busy she had been trying to find and stop Saren, arguing with the Council, fighting Geth, she always stopped by to see Liara just to see how she was doing. She had even taken the time to teach her how to shoot, a skill that Liara had never had need for previously. And then after they had become lovers, Shepard had been more attentive and giving then Liara had ever dreamed her first lover could be. Liara started typing faster. She would just have to work faster. She would just have to sleep less.

Later that night, Liara was trying to concentrate. She had work to do. There was always work to do. Liara was terrified that one missed clue could be the one that was vital to the whole fight. She had seen the destruction on Palaven and heard about the destruction on Earth from Shepard. It had brought everything into focus. _What if Thessia is next? _She missed Shepard. But with all the death, all the destruction, with people fighting for their very existence, how do you justify spending time not working when there was so much to do and so much at stake?

But Liara worried about Shepard all the time. And she knew that Shepard worried about her. The last mission was no exception. Liara couldn't help but think that Shepard seemed a little off. She had accomplished the mission and brought them all back safely as usual, of course, but she had seemed a little distracted. Her timing seemed a little off. She seemed more aggressive which was saying something because Shepard was always aggressive in the field. She had caught Shepard looking at her a few times. They stole glances at each other all the time and every time Shepard's eyes met hers, she felt that charge of electricity go through her. Even more so when they touched, either accidentally or on purpose.

It was obvious that Shepard wanted to have sex with her. Liara was also consciously aware of her own desire to have sex with Shepard. She felt it several times a day but she was able to push it to the back of her mind so that she could get the job done. It's not like a person needs sex. For goddess's sake, she had not even had sex until she was 106 years old and had never even missed it. She missed it now but it's not like one needs it in order to live. It's not like food or sleep. And Liara knew that neither one of them got enough of either of those. There were just so many hours in a day. When Shepard ate, it was usually standing up and she was done in five or ten minutes. And Liara guessed that Shepard was not getting much more than 4 or 5 hours of sleep a day. So, considering these facts, sex just wasn't an option right now. That was the rational decision.

But maybe Shepard was different? Maybe because she was human she wasn't able to focus her mind away from her desires as much? Maybe humans were closer to their more basic ancestors? _Well, that was racist_. Or maybe, because Liara was a trained scientist with a logical, focused mind, she was better able to concentrate on the task at hand? As Liara was contemplating her mental superiority, she looked down at her work and realized that she had spent the last hour incorrectly categorizing the data. It would all need to be shifted through again.

"Oh crap." Liara sighed. "Edi? Where is the Commander?"

"The Commander has retired for the night and I assume she is in her cabin."

Liara went into Shepard's cabin. She didn't knock first. Shepard heard the familiar whoosh and stood up from her desk to turn to see who it was.

"Hi Liara. How's it...

Liara launched herself at Shepard. She clamped her mouth onto Shepard's while her hands worked to undo the snaps and buttons of Shepard's uniform. Shepard had to brace herself with her arms against her desk to keep from falling over it until Liara forced her to raise her arms in order to rip the shirt off over her head, causing Shepard to fall backwards onto her desk. Her bra quickly followed.

Liara now had her mouth around one and then the other of Shepard's nipples as her hands started working on Shepard's pants.

Shepard finally found her voice again.

"What the...fuuuccck?

Shepard's head tilted back involuntarily and hit the display case behind her desk with a thud as Liara shoved her hand into Shepard's pants and started moving.

"Oh, I intend to!", Liara said speaking for the first time.

Liara kneeled to pull first Shepard's boots and then Shepard's pants and panties off as Shepard leaned back against her desk. Shepard gasped sharply and her head once again hit the display case as Liara's mouth covered the apex between her legs.

A few moments later, Liara suddenly stopped moving her tongue, stood up and pulled Shepard back on her feet. Liara mouth clamped on to Shepard's once again as she walked Shepard backward towards the bed. Shepard ripped her mouth away to yell.

"Stairs!"

Once down, Liara threw Shepard backwards onto the bed and hurriedly took off her own clothes. Once off, she pounced on top of Shepard. She covered Shepard's mouth with her own again as she rubbed her body against Shepard's. Shepard struggled to keep up, running one hand up and down Liara's back as her other hand searched between Liara's legs. Liara's fingers entered Shepard's body at the same moment her mind entered Shepard's. After that, Shepard lost all rational thought as she felt both her own arousal and Liara's. She felt the sensations from her own body as well as those from her lover's body until she could not discern which was which. She felt them both racing up the peak and tumbling over the other side together again and again and again.

Afterward, Liara collapsed on top of Shepard as Shepard lay panting, her heart still beating out of her chest. When she was finally able to speak, she said "Wwwow!", her voice a little shaky. When she could manage more, she asked, "Was it something I said?"

Liara didn't answer, still too exhausted from the meld to move.

"No really, is it something that I can say again?"

Liara finally lifted her head up and responded.

"It occurred to me that I was failing in my duty to keep my Commander fully prepared and ready for action. I needed that and I know you needed it too."

"But what were the words that actually worked? I need to know!"

"There are no magic words, Shepard. I pretty much want you all the time."

Shepard lifted her hands dramatically towards the ceiling.

"Thank you Goddess Whoeverthefuck! I will be your faithful servant forever for the bounty that I have just received."

"It's Tevura and you are such a big baby." Liara said with a smile, shaking her head.

With that, Liara reached her head up, gave Shepard a soft kiss on the lips and then rolled off Shepard.

"Wait! Where ya goin'?"

Liara started pulling her clothes back on.

"Liara! Stop putting those clothes on! Tevura! Make her stop!"

Liara just kept dressing.

"That's it? We're not even going to cuddle? Just wham, bam, thank you ma'am?!"

"If I stay, we will probably do it again and again and then neither of us will get any sleep." Liara explained.

"And that's a problem? That sounds like a plan, not a problem!"

Liara finished dressing and moved towards the door.

"Liara! You know, I'm not just a body! I'm a real live person with thoughts and feelings, hopes and dreams! I won't be taken advantage like this!"

Shepard continued, "And if I had the ability to walk right now, I'd show you!"

"I want to be paid next time! Or at least buy me dinner! I feel so used!"

Liara rolled her eyes and smiled back at Shepard before leaving the room.

"I'll see you later, Shepard. Sleep well."

Shepard soon fell asleep, a small smile still on her face.

A few days later, Shepard paid a visit to Liara in her room. Shepard was casually leaning her hip up against the messages computer stand with her arms loosely folded as she so often did when visiting Liara. Liara, as usual, was at her terminal, eyes on the screen with her fingers moving rapidly on the keys.

"So, I just wanted to talk about the other night a little bit." _Keep it casual. Keep it conversational_, Shepard thought. "I think it's perfectly normal for two people who have feelings for each other to want to express those feelings even if the circumstances are unusual. We shouldn't feel bad acting on those feelings even if the galaxy is going to hell."

Liara smiled a little. _Is she trying to get me into bed again? _

Shepard rambled on. "We don't have normal lives. But I think we are acting normally given the circumstances. And just to give you a little cultural perspective, because of medical breakthroughs and scientific advances, humans are living longer than ever but we still have a relatively short time during which we mate. We're talking only about 50 or 60 years here. So, during that time, certain…urges are more pressing. _God, that sounded like a pick up line in a bar or something_! _I'm a human! I'm going to die soon. Please sleep with me!_ Which isn't to say that we don't have control over those urges because we do. Humans can go for years without having sex."

Liara had to bite the inside of her mouth to keep from laughing. _Goddess, she's so adorable when she's nervous and she rambles like this_. "Whole years without having sex? That's impressive.", Liara said.

"You see, that's why I'm sharing this with you. To an asari, a couple years is nothing but to a human in the middle of this very limited 50 to 60 year period, it can seem like forever. And the urges are even more pressing when certain…conditions are present. For example, I know when two people are", Shepard paused again and took a deep breath, _okay, here we go, the dreaded L word. Keep it conversational!, _"in love, it is perfectly natural for them to want to screw like bunnies." _Please tell me that I did not just say that out loud! _ "Especially in the beginning, when things are new. And I know that we've known each other for years now but with me being dead for two years and all and the reapers and everything, we really haven't had that much time together. So, it still feels brand new. If we did have normal..."

Liara's hands stopped typing, _Wait, what? Did she just use the L word? Is she finally going to admit it?_

Shepard continued to drone on, "lives, things probably would have calmed down by now. But as it is, it feels all new. And when it's new, it's normal to feel sick like this. At least that's what people who have experienced this before tell me." _Is it normal to blather on and on incoherently like this, you idiot? "_Okay, well, thanks for chatting with me. I should go."

Before Shepard could leave, Liara grabbed Shepard's arm._ It looks like I'm not the only one who came into this relationship a virgin of sorts. _Liara held Shepard's hands and turned Shepard to face her. Gently, Liara reached out with one hand and cupped Shepard's face.

"So, to recap, you...", Liara said encouragingly.

_Why is this so difficult? Why do I feel nauseous? I've done combat drops into hostile territory. Those were easy. But this, this is scary! Oh well, here goes. Hooyah!_

"I love you, Liara. I'm in love with you and I have been for years."

Liara took Shepard's face in both her hands and looked into her eyes before she pulled her closer and gave her a deep kiss.

"And I love you so very, very, very much" she said punctuating each very with another kiss. "Now let's go screw like these bunnies that you speak of", she said as she grabbed Shepard's hand to lead Shepard back to her bed.

"They are small, furry Earth mammals that have sex and procreate a lot"

Liara chuckled. "That's fascinating!", she teased. "Sounds just like you except for the procreation part".

"What about Glyph?"

"He's fine."

"He's not going to record this or anything, is he?"

"Glyph, please lock the door and then go into sleep mode"

"Of course, Dr. T'Soni"

"Are you gonna let me cuddle with you this time or are you going to boot me once you've had your way with me?" Shepard sulked a little. "I like to cuddle."

"I do too. We can do whatever you like. Though I suspect that if you are missing too long, they might do a room by room search."

"Edi?"

"Yes, Commander?"

"I'm not feeling well and I will be retiring early. I am only to be disturbed if it's an emergency."

"Would you like me to alert Doctor Chakwas?"

"No Edi. I actually feel fine. I just want to spend a little time alone."

"But you are not alone. Should I inform Liara that she should leave her office because you wish to be alone?"

"No Edi. I want to spend some time alone with Liara. And I would appreciate…" Shepard didn't finish the sentence as it finally occurred to her that Edi was once again honing her comedic skills. "Very funny, Edi. Please just give us some privacy and remember, we are not to be disturbed unless it is an emergency."

"Of course, Commander. Perhaps later we can discuss the significance of saying 'I love you' in a romantic relationship?"

Shepard sighed. "Later, Edi."

Liara started chuckling and moved her arms around Shepard's waist. Shepard smiled at Liara in return.

"You see? We are just another young couple in love. Everything is completely normal."

"It has always been complicated with us, hasn't it? Hopefully, we will defeat the reapers sooner rather than later and then we will get our chance to just be a young couple in love. And are you giving Edi relationship advice?"

"Well, I have more relationship experience then she does. It's all relative."

"Sounds like the blind leading the blind to me. Just curious, what's the longest you have ever been in a relationship before?"

Shepard sighed and started pulling Liara towards the bed. "I don't want to talk about this now! We're supposed to be making like bunnies, remember?"

"Never mind the bunnies, don't be a chicken. What's the longest relationship you have ever been in?"

Shepard sighed again. "Do I count dead time? How about time when I was incarcerated?"

"You mean, this is the longest relationship you've ever been in?"

"It's hard to determine. How long have we been 'in a relationship'"?

"Wow. I'll take that as a yes. I just always assumed that you had had serious relationships before."

Shepard smiled. "Well, I was only 29 years old when we met, barely an adult by human standards."

"I thought humans were considered adults at 18? Eleven years as an adult seems like a long time in a 130 to 150 year life span."

"Okay, I was an adult by far but I had spent the previous ten years plus in intensive military training and on duty details all over the galaxy. Not a lot of time for a personal life. And it is not uncommon for humans to play the field in their twenties."

Liara considered this a moment before asking her next question.

"So how much did you 'play the field'? How many people have you been with?"

Shepard laughed and shook her head.

"Uh uh. I've had enough embarrassing revelations for one day. Now I deserve to get rewarded with the fun stuff."

Shepard leaned forward and gave Liara a long kiss. Liara pulled back and spoke again.

"Okay. But I'll get it out of you eventually."

"Of that, I have no doubt." Shepard said before leaning in and kissing Liara again.

A few days later, Shepard finally had some down time after an intense few days during which she had not had time to do anything but work. She missed spending time with Liara. Shepard started thinking about the night when Liara had so pleasantly accosted her in her cabin. Shepard decided that it was time to turn the tables.

Shepard waited until it was later at night and then she entered Liara's room and locked the door behind her. Liara was still in front of her wall of monitors, typing away on her keyboard. Without a word, Shepard wrapped her arms around Liara from behind and started kissing and sucking Liara's neck. She felt Liara's body lean against hers as Liara gasped at the unexpected contact. Shepard moved her hands to the gauntlets on Liara's arms and pulled them off one after the other. She then undid the clasps of her armored jacket until she was able to pull the jacket off. The armored midriff was then quickly removed. Now Liara was wearing only her black under shirt on top which Shepard soon pulled off over her head, taking care not to snag it on Liara's scalp crests. Liara's bra quickly followed the shirt to the floor and Shepard cupped Liara's breasts before squatting a little so that she could reach the clasp on the front of Liara's leg armor. Shepard pulled at the clasp. The clasp wouldn't budge. She tried it again. Nothing. Shepard tried tugging on the leg plate to loosen it and then tried the clasp again. It still wouldn't budge. Shepard felt herself getting annoyed and she sighed in frustration.

Shepard then knelt down and poked her head through Liara's legs to get a look at the offending clasp. Shepard tugged at it again with still no results. Shepard tried the clasp on the other side and it wouldn't budge either.

"Goddamn it!"

Liara brought a hand up to her mouth, trying not to laugh.

"Problems, Shepard?"

Shepard tried to rip the plates off Liara's legs but the straps were too strong and on too tightly.

"I hate this stupid outfit! Come on Liara, give a girl a hand here!"

Liara burst out giggling. After getting control of herself again, she responded wryly.

"I would but I've decided that I have a new policy. If a person is not smart enough to get inside my pants then they are not smart enough to get inside my pants."

"I swear I'm going to use my omni-blade and slice the damn things off!" Shepard growled.

"Step back a moment, would you?" Shepard complied. "Watch and learn."

Liara deftly reached behind her and undid the clasps on the back of her legs until both pieces of leg armor fell to the floor.

"That's why I couldn't figure it out. It was too obvious."

Liara laughed. "Do you need help with the boots too?"

"No. I can take it from here. Stupid armor ruined my whole plan. Let me tell you something, I've stripped plenty of people out of their armor before and never had a problem."

"Oh yeah, how many people?"

Shepard smiled. "You see, now you're just trying to figure out how big a slut I was before I met you again."

"I'm just curious. It has no bearing on the current situation. So, are you going to continue or have you abandoned your mission because of technical difficulties?"

In response, Shepard grabbed Liara's leg and started tugging off her boot. To Shepard's relief, it came off easily.


	12. Chapter 12

Shepard could feel an iciness coming off of Liara as soon as she entered her room. Shepard searched through her mind for any possible reasons why Liara might be angry with her and came up empty.

"Is there anything wrong, Liara?"

"I know that Samantha took a shower in your cabin while you were there."

Shepard felt her panic rise up and she started to feel guilty. _Wait a minute, why should I feel guilty about that? _

"So, what's the problem?"

"So, it's normal for Specialists to shower in their Captain's cabin in the Alliance? That's how the Alliance runs things?"

Shepard considered it for a moment.

"No, it's not normal. But it's not normal that we are facing the end of our species either. If I can make her feel a little better by offering her a shower, then so be it. Besides, she's been doing really good work and she deserved a little treat."

Liara turned her head slightly and glared at Shepard. "Did you watch her take this shower? Or did you just join her?"

"Of course not!"

"But you wanted to!"

Before Shepard could think of a suitable response, she had a troubling thought.

"Wait a minute. How did you know that, Liara? I saw those vids in your old ship and one of them was a hidden vid feed from this very ship. You better not have any bugs, cameras, bots or any other info gathering devices on my ship!"

Liara said nothing. She continued working at her terminal, her eyes locked on the screen.

"I'm serious, T'Soni. If there is anything like that on my ship, I want you to shut it down immediately! That's an order!"

Shepard turned on her heel and left the room, fuming. She then jagged left past the kitchen and straight towards the ship's gun batteries. Garrus saw the look on Shepard's face as she entered the room.

"Trouble, Shepard?"

"Liara is spying on me!"

"And how do you know that?"

"She was all mad that Traynor took a shower in my cabin."

"Traynor took a shower in your cabin..." A pause before Garrus continued, "were you in the shower at the time?"

"Of course not! I told Liara that Traynor has been doing a good job so I let her have a little treat by letting her use the shower."

"Did you actually say that to Liara? I've done a good job and you never gave me a shower. Don't I get a little treat?"

"Come on, Garrus. Whose side are you on? And I didn't give her a shower, I just let her use my shower. How would she know that if she isn't spying on us?"

"You do know about the whole Shadow Broker thing, don't you? You had to know that she would find out."

"I just didn't think it was important so I didn't mention it. It's not important. Unless she's spying on my ship!"

"Come on, Shepard. This is Liara we're talking about here. She would never do anything to hurt us." Garrus considered another moment. "But she might have reason to spy on you. I can see her possibly doing that. If I were you, I'd avoid pissing her off. She could hurt you."

"Thanks Garrus, you're a big help." Shepard walked out rolling her eyes.

Later, Shepard strolled into Liara's room again to see if the waters had calmed.

"It was just a shower, Liara. Nothing more. Nothing happened nor did I want anything to happen." _And it could have happened if I had wanted it to_, Shepard thought, remembering Traynor's subtle but clumsy pass, _but I'll keep that to myself_.

"I know. And I'm not spying on anyone, thank you very much for that. She just told me about it while we were in the shower."

_While they were in the shower_? Shepard was well aware that bathroom facilities were shared on vessels for lower-ranking crew. She had shared the shower with hundreds of fellow crewmen before and thought nothing of it. But she never really thought about Liara sharing a shower with anyone before. And with Traynor of all people. The idea made her feel funny. She felt something that she had never felt before and she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"You shower with Traynor?"

"I shower with whoever is in the shower room when I go to use it."

Of course that's true. She just knew that Traynor would sneak a peek. The regular Alliance crew would be all business but Traynor would definitely look if given the opportunity. I wonder how many people have seen my girlfriend naked? The idea made her oddly angry and a little sick to her stomach. I wonder if Liara sneaks any peeks when she is in there?

"I could use the men's shower, if it would make you feel any better."

"Hah! You wouldn't dare!"

Shepard thought about it. Liara was a private, reserved person. But the asari were known for not having the same hang-ups about their bodies that other races had. She could see Liara casually strolling into the men's locker room and matter-of-factly taking care of business while the men stood in shocked, drooling silence. The idea made Shepard more agitated. She could feel the nervous energy in her limbs and she felt like pacing but she couldn't pace because then Liara would see her pacing. Instead she said glibly, "well, that would certainly be good for morale."

Liara fumed. "Just say the word, Commander."

Instead, Shepard turned on her heel again and headed down to the shuttle bay.

"Vega, bag!" Shepard said as she stepped over to the punching bag and pulled on some gloves. James stepped behind it to hold it steady.

"Aye, aye Boss."

Shepard's first hit rocked James back on his heels and he almost fell over. He held the bag tighter and planted his feet more firmly on the ground.

"Everything okay, Lola?"

"I'm here to exercise, Vega. Not chat."

"Okay. Anything you say, Boss."

As she continued to pummel the bag, Shepard couldn't help but think about Liara in the shower with other people. She wondered if there was anyone on the crew that she would be tempted by. Javik! The fucking Prothean! Member of the wondrous, exalted race that Liara had obsessed over for so long. Liara had studied his people for fifty years and now, here he was alive and no asari had melded with a prothean in at least 50,000 years. How could Liara not be tempted? But what an arrogant, self-righteous prick that guy was. It occurred to Shepard finally that what she was feeling was jealousy. And she hated it. What an ugly, energy-draining, useless emotion. It was a negative, irrational emotion that she could not afford to indulge right now. She stopped hitting the bag and threw off her gloves.

"Thanks James. Just needed to blow off a little steam."

"Anytime, Lola. Anytime."

Shepard headed back into Liara's room. Liara didn't acknowledge her presence.

"Okay. I'm jealous. I hate to admit it. And I hate to feel it but there's no sense in lying to yourself about your emotions. It doesn't do any good. I hate that I feel possessive of you. I have no right to feel that way and you have every right to do whatever you want. I've never felt jealous like this before and I realize that it's because I've never really had any skin in the game. Not really. I've had other relationships before and they didn't work out and that was okay with me. No big deal. You might miss the person a little bit but then you move on. This time, with you, it's different. If I lose you, I don't know what I'll do. I literally do not know how I would just go on with my life. And it makes me feel vulnerable and stupid and out of control. And I hate feeling that way."

Liara waited a minute before responding. She then turned to face Shepard before speaking. "Okay, are you done now? Or are you going to go on another 10 minutes about how you feel, you poor baby? Do you ever consider how I feel?"

Shepard was a little surprised and a little hurt by Liara's response. Shepard folded her arms.

"Okay, I'm listening. How do you feel?"

"When these people that you meet or someone from the crew comes on to you and you just casually flirt with them and then get that smug little grin on your face, how do you think that makes me feel? I hate feeling jealous too, Shepard. It makes me feel ugly. And it makes me feel small. And it makes me feel lesser."

Shepard felt a painful knot in her stomach._ I'm an asshole. A complete and total asshole_. Shepard realized that she did that a lot. She had always done it. If using her charm helped her get what she wanted or needed for a mission, she had no problem using it. Just like she had no problem using intimidation in other situations.

"If it makes you feel any better, I never did anything like that deliberately. I would never do anything to hurt you, Liara. I'm so sorry that I hurt you anyway. I think you are the most beautiful woman that I've ever met. And the smartest. And the most compassionate. As a matter of fact, I have this thought in the back of my head that tells me that not only are you not lesser than me but that you are so much better than me. But let me tell you this other thought that I have back there. And that thought is that together we are better than we are as individuals. That this whole is more than the sum of its parts."

Liara smiled a little before responding.

"When do you get this talky? The old Shepard would have just kissed me by now." Shepard put her hands on Liara's hips, pulled her close and kissed her.

"Now, I know I have no right to ask you this but I need a favor. Can you please just use my shower from now on? Again, this is selfish, but I don't want anyone else to see you naked. Especially no one on the crew. Especially the prothean."

Liara laughed.

"I think Javik sees us all as nothing more than pets or farm animals anyway so you're probably safe there. But you have a deal if it goes both ways?"

"You bet. Now the terms of this deal. If you want to get naked with anyone else, can you please just wait until I'm dead? So, it expires at my death. Better make that my death plus five years because you never know."

"Deal!" Liara said before pulling Shepard in for a kiss. Liara thought about the arrangement some more. "But you realize that I need to stay clean and I don't have a lot of time for distractions. There will be times when I need to just take a shower. Without interference."

Shepard tried hard to keep the grin off her face. _Can I at least watch_?, Shepard thought. "So what are you trying to say? That I can't control myself? That if I'm there and I know you're naked in that shower that I will molest you in some way?"

"The thought did occur to me. There will be times when I need to take a quick shower and that's it."

"Please, Liara. I'm in the military. I can shower, dress, eat and be ready for a mission in ten minutes." _Add another five and I can throw in a quickie_, Shepard thought but did not say it out loud. Shepard couldn't resist and added, "To save even more time and resources too, we could just shower together."

"Shepard! That's exactly the kind of distraction that I'm talking about."

"Well, I understand that you are not in the military and don't have the discipline that I've learned so I can see why it would be harder for you to deal with distractions."

"Excuse me? You think you have more discipline than I do?"

"Of course. I've been in the military for over ten years now. You have no choice but to be a disciplined person who is able to sublimate your own needs for the needs of the mission."

"I'll have you know, I am a very disciplined person. They don't just hand out doctorates on Thessia and the University of Serrice is highly regarded. It's a very demanding program and you have to really focus in order to get through it."

"Oh I don't doubt that." _Surviving without oxygen while everyone else passes out, that's discipline. Not reading and writing a bunch of boring papers,_ Shepard thought but instead said, "Well, we could put it to the test. I could use a shower. Why don't we both go take one together and we'll see who is better at keeping their hands off the other?"

Liara rolled her eyes. "Shepard. The other people that you've been with, were they actually dumb enough to fall for shit like that?"

Shepard couldn't help but chuckle. "Some of 'em. Come on!" Shepard tugged on Liara's hand. "It's getting late. You've done enough work today. Don't you want to be nice and clean when you get into bed tonight?" _With me, goddess willing_.

"Alright but I'm going to show you discipline."

Shepard grinned again. "Oh, I'll let you show me all the discipline you want."

"How many other people have you showered with?"

"You're relentless, T'Soni."


	13. Chapter 13

"...an ego the size of a damn gas giant."

Shepard heard Liara say as she entered the observation lounge. Liara and Garrus were sitting together but both grew silent when they saw Shepard enter the room. Shepard walked over to them.

"Hey, how's it going?"

"Great." Garrus said.

"Hello, Shepard." Liara said. Neither of them said another word. Garrus took a drink while Liara took a drag on her cigarette. Shepard was stunned.

"You smoke, Liara? Since when?"

Liara didn't respond. "What are you smoking?"

"It's a commonly-grown weed with mood enhancing and mild hallucinogenic effects. Perfectly safe."

"Just be careful. You never know what they put in that stuff."

"Says the woman who drank so much that she passed out and woke up curled on the couch of Aria T'Lok, known criminal and murderer, like a little pet."

Shepard winced. "I only had three drinks. There must have been something in them for it to affect me that way."

"You should be careful. You never know what they put in that stuff. Isn't that what you just told me thirty seconds ago?"

Shepard winced again. "How did you find out? I was going to tell you. It just slipped my mind."

"There were dozens of people who saw you. It was all over. I'm surprised it didn't make the tabloid news."

Shepard's jaw clenched. "So goes life in the fish bowl. I swear, once this is all over, I'm going somewhere where no one knows me and I'm going to just do stupid and irresponsible things for at least a year!"

Liara glared at Shepard. "Oh really? Is that what you're going to do once this is all over?"

"Within reason." Shepard tried to backtrack. "You know, If you'll let me."

At that, Garrus couldn't contain himself any longer and he burst out laughing.

"Shut up, Garrus." Shepard turned on her heel and left the room.

"T'Soni one, Shepard zero!" Garrus said as a victorious smirk grew on Liara's face.

"It just makes me angry that her ego is so big that she thinks that we were talking about her before she came in."

Garrus looked a little confused. "Well, I thought we were talking about her before she walked in."

"Yes, but whose ego is so big that they just assume that?!"


	14. Chapter 14

Shepard was leaning on the messages terminal stand next to Liara, talking conversationally. Liara had her eyes on the screen in front of her and her fingers were moving over the keyboard.

"It's just another one of the little annoyances of the job, I guess. The administrative stuff. We just can't afford everything that everyone needs. There's just too much cutting edge stuff out there so decisions have to be made as to where our priorities lie. Just the other day Steve, I mean, Lieutenant Cortez, told me he could improve performance with this new power differential upgrade but the thing costs 80,000 credits! Normally I would just buy it out of my own money but 80,000 credits? I'll be bankrupt if I do that."

Liara stopped her hands on the keyboard for a moment, brought up her omni-tool and punched in some buttons before going back to the keyboard. "Go ahead. I'm listening."

Shepard sighed. "It just never ends. Not only do we have to risk our lives but then there's the endless paperwork. And now, I have to justify every penny that I request for every little thing that I need. Not that I don't understand it. With Earth and our colonies being pounded like they are and the Crucible being built, the Alliance has to be careful with its resources but if we don't get the job done, there's not gonna be an Earth. I would hate to think of one of our missions failing because we couldn't afford a goddamn upgrade. I'm sorry, Liara. I must be boring you to tears. And here you are trying to get your work done and some idiot is going on and on about the minutiae of daily life aboard a military starship at war. Maybe we can have dinner together later if you have the time?"

Liara smiled at Shepard. "I'd like that but it's probably going to be late for me."

"Okay, I'll stop in later to see if you are available. Thanks again Liara, for listening."

Shepard stopped by at the acquisitions computer again to see if there were any cheaper alternatives to the shuttle upgrade. There was something that should be equivalent but it was still 70,000 credits. War profiteers! They know that there is a war going on and they know that these upgrades might help save lives but instead of lowering the price to contribute, the corporations were actually raising the prices. They were criminals as far as Shepard was concerned. Worse than the petty criminals on planets like Omega. And with the ability to hurt a lot more people. Shepard sighed. But having the upgrade on that shuttle might save all their lives if a mission turned south.

_Maybe I can afford it if I'm careful with my finances_, Shepard thought as she brought up her omni tool, punched in some buttons and looked at her account again. Shepard blinked at the number. "How is that possible? I just looked at this 20 minutes ago!" Shepard thought about how that much cash might have just appeared in her account in a few minute's time.

"My girlfriend is giving me an allowance?! Uh uh. No way is this gonna happen."

Shepard got in the elevator and hit the button for the crew deck. She decided that maybe she would consult with Garrus before confronting Liara. Just as a sounding board.

"Garrus! Liara's giving me money!"

"What are you talking about?"

"When I'm not looking, she's slipping money into my bank account!"

"Why?" Garrus grinned "Is it for services rendered?"

"Garrus", Shepard growled "I've told you before that you are not allowed to even think about what we might or might not be doing together when we are alone."

"I seem to remember that you were the one who talked to me about it endlessly not too long ago. Besides, there's like a trillion credit galaxy-wide industry dedicated to what people like you two may or may not do together so it's hard not to think about it. So, I take it the other little problem that you two were having before has been resolved?"

"Yes. And I told you that you're not supposed to think about that." Shepard paused and then added, "She told me she loved me the other day."

"Good for you Shepard. That's a big surprise considering that she has been in love with you for over three years now. And I suspect, you with her. So, what does she want you to do with this money that's she's giving you?"

"Nothing. Anything I want, I guess. She thinks I'm too dumb to even notice that the money is going in there."

Garrus looked at Shepard in stunned silence for a minute before responding.

"Hmmm. Well. So. What you're saying is that your beautiful, young asari girlfriend who loves you and sleeps with you is also giving you money on the side with no strings attached and for no reason whatsoever? Money that you can use for whatever you want with no questions asked?"

Shepard thought about it a moment. "It sounds so much less like a problem when you say it like that."

"If you listen quietly, you can almost hear millions of hands going up and millions of men and women both of every species saying 'oh, oh me'!"

"It's just that a balance of control has to be maintained in a relationship in order for it to be equal. I already feel like she has too much power in the relationship."

"Seriously Shepard? She has to say 'aye, aye Commander' to you and do exactly what you say, at least during missions."

"Yeah but that's just work. I'm concerned because things have changed between us. Something's happening and she's making me want to do bad things." Shepard lowered her voice and stepped closer to Garrus. "Lately, I've felt these urges like I want to get married and have babies or something. And it's all her fault."

Garrus recoiled from Shepard as if she had a disease and it was contagious.

"That is not good, Shepard. That is not good at all. Maybe you'll get lucky and the reapers will get you first."

Shepard stepped out of the gun batteries and then headed back to the elevator to head back to the shuttle bay. Maybe she would just go buy the shuttle upgrade afterall.


	15. Chapter 15

Liara caught Shepard's eyes as she got off the shuttle and instantly saw the pain in them. Shepard quickly looked away. And now, she refused to meet Liara's eyes again. _She's protecting me_. Liara could tell that this had been a bad one. This one had hurt. Liara knew that Shepard truly cared about all the people under her command. She knew that Shepard did what she had to do but that she never saw her people simply as pawns or as the means to an end. No matter how important the end. Liara also knew that this was not the case with all military leaders.

Liara waited for Shepard to come to her as she so often did after a mission. Just to talk. Just to reset. Each taking comfort in just being near each other and having a friend. This time, Shepard didn't come. Liara debated whether she should approach the Commander or let her be. _Maybe she just wanted to be alone_. Liara continued with her work but she couldn't stop worrying about Shepard. _She'll be alright. She always is. Best to just let her be_.

But there was something in the back of Liara's mind that wouldn't go away. _You don't want to see her right now because you're selfish. _Shepard had always been the rock. No matter how bad things got, there was always that core of strength. That determination. That belief in herself and that she and her team could make things better. That she would make things better._ And now she needs some of that strength returned to her and you're too afraid that you'll fall apart. Coward! _

When Liara finally gathered the courage later that night, she knocked on Shepard's door and then let herself in. Shepard literally had an open door policy. She trusted that her people would respect her time and her privacy and the door was never locked. The room was dark and silent. Liara could not see where Shepard was.

"Shepard?"

No answer. Liara walked further into the room. She could hear movement on the bed. After another moment, Shepard cleared her throat and spoke.

"Over here. On the bed, Liara."

Liara heard the gruffness in Shepard's voice and as she moved along the side of the bed, she could see the puffiness of her eyes, the wetness on her cheeks. _She's been crying_! Liara had never seen Shepard cry before. At once, Liara felt her own despair rise up and threaten to overwhelm her. Liara felt the urge to run away. _Stop it, Liara! You need to help her for once!_

Liara slid in next to Shepard. As soon as she had her arms around Shepard, Shepard broke down and started crying again.

"I can't do this anymore Liara. I just can't do it. Thane is dead because of me. How many more are going to die because of me?"

Liara felt her own despair and doubt rise up, threatening to overwhelm her, If_ not you, then who? _but she beat them back down. _Shepard needs you and there is no way that you are going to fail her! _

"You can and you will. Thane died because he is a hero. He chose the time of his death and he chose to make it count. He should be honored for that. How many are still alive because of you?"

"I'm just an arrogant, naive idiot. I've gotten so many killed!"

Liara thought about it a moment. Shepard really never got that she couldn't save them all. She knew it intellectually to be sure but does she really get it, in the pit of her stomach? These deaths are a reminder. She could be excused for getting a little cocky. How many people go a 'suicide' mission to a Collector base beyond a relay from which no one has ever returned and manage to bring every last person back? No one.

"You can't save them all, Shepard."

"I know that."

"I think you forget. I think you know it here" Liara gently touched Shepard's forehead, "but you forget it here." Liara put a hand on Shepard's stomach.

"So, my arrogance will get people killed."

"Let me tell you something, Shepard. There is not one single person in this whole galaxy whose hands I would rather put my life in. Because I _know_, if there is any possible way that you can save me, you'll do it. Even if you have to risk your own life. And I _know_ that if I do die, you will not let it be in vain. You will keep getting up again and again and again and you will get the job done. No matter what the costs and no matter how long it takes. That's why we follow you, Shepard. Not because you're good at shooting a gun."

Liara could feel some of the tension leave Shepard's body and felt her take a shuddering breath. Liara pulled Shepard closer into her body. Liara could feel Shepard's mind relaxing.

"I thought _you_ followed me because I'm so damned cute."

Liara chuckled softly. "Well, there's that too."

"I love you, Liara. Thank you."

"I love you too, Shepard. And you are welcome."

Liara continued to hold Shepard until they both fell asleep. _Maybe some of Shepard's courage is rubbing off on me_, Liara thought before drifting off.


	16. Chapter 16

Shepard, Tali and Liara were standing together ready to enter the dreadnought. Shepard and Liara were both glad to see their friend again despite the grim circumstances. There was no time for extended greetings but they managed a few words while waiting for the port to open.

"It's good to have you back Tali. Tali will be our tech expert." Shepard said smiling.

"We couldn't ask for a better expert." Liara smiled at Tali as well.

"Thanks... Shadow Broker" Tali said smugly, happy to be one of the few individuals in the galaxy who knew who the most powerful information broker really was.

"Speaking of which, I see a lot of things in my position."

"I can imagine. The temptation to violate your friend's privacy must be unbearable."

"You get used to it", Liara said with a shrug.

Shepard gave Liara a sideward glance and muttered "Well, that was chilling."

"See anything interesting?" Tali asked a little nervously.

"Nutri Scan 2.2, Enginmaster 3.6, Human Vessels Edition, Nerve-Stim Pro?" Liara fired off the list.

"How did you…never mind, let's just hit the dreadnought." Tali said while shaking her head.

"Hey Tali. This probably isn't the best time to bring this up but it's important. Assuming we actually manage to defeat the geth and the reapers, I know you will be very busy after the war but do you think you might be available for an intervention for a mutual friend of ours?" Shepard asked.

Without hesitating, Tali replied, "Absolutely. I anticipate that it will be long overdue by that point. It might be more difficult than the reapers and I would never leave you alone to face that battle."

Liara looked confused through her breathing mask. "Who are you two talking about? Do I know this person?"

"If rumors are correct, Admiral Xen has actually designed new anti-biotic cuffs that work on even advanced biotics." Tali continued. "Might come in handy."

"I don't even want to know why a quarian scientist would be researching such a thing but you're right. It might be useful." Shepard responded.

"Wait, what? Are you talking about me?! I thought interventions were for people with some kind of addiction?" Liara asked.

"Let's just take care of business first, Ladies", Shepard said as she walked through the now open door, rifle drawn.

Tali and Liara were both sitting in the observation lounge, catching up. Despite the overwhelming fight against the reapers that still ahead of them, Tali couldn't help but feel optimist. It was great knowing that once it was over, she would have a home world to go back to and that she had helped get it back.

"Well, she finally told me that she loved me."

"You're kidding? Was she drunk at the time?"

Liara laughed softly. "No, she managed to say it without any liquid courage. I had to coax it out of her a little but she said it."

"Wow. That's huge. Congratulations Liara. I hope you two find happiness together. That makes me happy. Two of my favorite people are in love. It's almost like a vid. The daring Spaceship Captain rescues the damsel in distress and they fall in love."

Liara started laughing. "Hopefully, my damsel days are far behind me. She used to read books like that as a child."

"Shepard? Really? I can't imagine her reading something so romantic. I mean, she's a great person but romantic? I find that hard to believe."

"I don't think she reads them anymore but she is romantic."

"Oh come on. Shepard? Our Shepard? Have you ever even been on date?"

Liara thought about it then smiled. "Well no. Not really. But she lets me know in other ways that she cares."

"Liara. Taking you on dangerous missions and then stepping in front of some bullets for you when you get in trouble doesn't really count as romantic. Especially since she does that for all of us."

Liara laughed again. "No, really, she can be romantic. She writes me love notes."

Tali giggled. "Shepard wrote you a love note? Come on!"

"Seriously! They are even hand-written." Liara unfolded a small piece of paper that she had taken from her pocket and after looking around to double check that no one else was in the room, she handed it to Tali. "Don't tell her or anyone else about this."

Tali looked at the note and punched at her omnitool until the words were translated. Lowering her voice, Tali started reading it out loud:" 'Liara, You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I guess I needed to meet the most beautiful woman in the galaxy before I realized what I had been missing in my life. I love you so very much. Shepard.' Keelah! That is so sweet. Where did she even find paper?" Tali and Liara both started giggling. "I can't believe she is such a marshmallow!"

"I know. I remember when we first met, I was so intimidated by her. She seemed so strong and confident and unemotional. And she didn't say that much so I never knew what she was thinking or feeling." Liara laughed again. "That has definitely changed. She is very strong and confident but she's definitely emotional. And Goddess, can she talk!"

Tali giggled again. "Tell me something that I don't know about Shepard. I already know that she's chatty. I've had to politely tell her that I needed to get back to work on a few occasions."

"Let me think." Liara paused. "I bet you don't know that she's really kind of a nerd. Guess what she is currently reading?"

"Hmmm. My guess would be some kind of combat manual or maybe an adventure novel?"

"No. She's reading 'A History of Turian-Human Diplomatic Relations since the First Contact War'."

"That sounds really nerdy! Maybe she reads it to fall asleep?"

"She's almost done with it. And I thought maybe it was just a fluke so I glanced at the other books that she has in her cabin. All non-fiction. All nerdy!"

"What a nerd!" Tali shouted and both women started giggling again just as the door to the observation lounge slid open and Shepard walked in. Tali saw Shepard, panicked and threw the note back to Liara. Liara didn't react in time and the note fluttered to the floor a couple feet away from Liara. Both women grew silent as Shepard approached.

"Who's a nerd? Besides you two, I mean. And was that actual _giggling_ that I heard as I walked in here?"

Neither one of them answered the question. Shepard got that familiar feeling that she had when she entered an area of her ship and it fell silent as she got closer. Shepard sighed.

"I'm starting to think that I should wear a bell just so my fellow crewmen can talk about me behind my back without me actually having to hear it. And I am most definitely not a nerd."

"I think you are. A little bit. I was just telling Tali what you are currently reading." Liara responded.

"Well, the Queen of the Nerds would know one of her flock, I suppose. And why would what I'm reading be an interesting thing to talk about?" Shepard walked over to the bar and poured a liquid into her coffee cup. Liara tried to pick up the paper from the floor but wasn't quick enough before Shepard turned towards them again.

"Why are you in here anyway, Shepard?" Liara asked, hoping to distract Shepard so she wouldn't see the paper on the floor.

"Just here to make my coffee a little more Irish. Last time I checked, I was the captain of this vessel and didn't need a reason to go anywhere on it. Though I have learned never to go in the crew's quarters unannounced. Best if I don't know what's going on in there."

"You're drinking on duty? Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Actually, I'm not officially on duty for another couple hours but I thank you for your concern. What's this?" Shepard bent down and retrieved the fallen paper. Shepard opened it with one hand and looked at it, disbelieving. Without another word, Shepard handed it back to Liara and headed towards the door.

"Oh come on, Shepard. I was just showing it to Tali. It's just Tali! She's our friend. Don't be upset."

"So, that's what you were giggling about? I'm glad I could amuse you with my stupid, little note."

"No, Shepard. It's not like that. Liara was trying to show me how romantic you are. It was sweet. I've never gotten a note like that. I'd love it if someone gave me a note like that."

Shepard seemed to relax a little with the explanation. "It's only a matter of time, Tali. Besides being a beautiful person on the inside, I'm just sure you are a knockout under that mask, too. I have a sense of these things. Any guy would be lucky to have you." Shepard gave Tali a bright smile.

Tali was glad that she currently had her mask on because she could feel herself blushing. "Thanks, Shepard. That's nice of you to say. And I took my mask off in front of you on Rannoch. Are you trying to say that you didn't even sneak a peek?"

Shepard leaned against the back of the chair in front of Tali. "Nope. It seemed like it would be rude to do that. Like a violation of trust or something." Shepard stressed the last sentence and glared at Liara.

"Someday, after we beat the Reapers, I will be back on Rannoch and I will let you see me without my suit on. And hopefully, I won't die in the process."

"I look forward to it. Then I'll get to see what you wear under that suit, too." Shepard smiled again.

"Oh, I see. Now you're mad at me so you're just going to flirt with another woman in front of me?" Liara asked.

"It's just Tali! She's our friend." Shepard said mimicking Liara. "I give you a note and you just throw it on the floor like trash?"

"I did not Shepard! I'll have you know that I carry that note around with me everywhere. It just fell on the floor and you barged in here before I could pick it up. "

Shepard looked pleased to hear this and gave Liara a little smile.

"Okay. I've had enough of this emotional drama crap for one day. I'll see you both later."

"Okay. I love you, Shepard."

Shepard paused at the door, looked at Tali, looked back at Liara and said "Noted".

"Shepard!" Tali said, shocked. "That's all you're going to say? And I thought you had grown emotionally as a person but you're too afraid to say a little four letter word."

"Fuck, shit, piss. See, I know a lot of four letter words and I'm not afraid of any of them. And let's beat the Reapers first and then I'll worry about my growth as a person."

Liara smiled at Shepard and repeated herself. "I love you, Shepard."

Shepard looked at Liara and sighed. "Really, Liara? There's another person in the room."

"Neither of you better say 'It's only Tali' again or I'm going to get a complex." Tali said.

Shepard ran over to Liara, whispered 'I love you' in her ear and then ran out of the room.

"Coward!" Both Liara and Tali shouted after the retreating Shepard.


	17. Chapter 17

Liara is lying in her customary position on her side with her head on Shepard's shoulder and her arm across Shepard's stomach.

"You know most asari prefer to live with other people even when they don't have to. I lived alone for so many years after I left my mother's house and after school. I'm sick of it and I'm sick of sleeping alone."

Shepard let out an exasperated sigh. "Then why aren't you up here with me more often? You know you are always welcome. I'll even clean out some of my drawers for you."

"There's so much work to do all the time. And I don't want the crew to think that I'm shacking up with their Commander. You need to maintain discipline. And there's so much pressure on you, I don't want to be a distraction."

"You are a distraction, thank the Goddess. I sometimes think that if I didn't have you around and all I had to think about was the reapers and the death and the destruction and the incredibly poor odds that we face, that I'd just snap. Someone would find me in a fetal position on the floor one morning, unable to move and drooling."

"I've had mornings like that. When I didn't feel like getting up out of bed. When I just wanted to go back to sleep and not wake up until it's all over."

"But you got up anyway. And as far as the crew is concerned, I don't think there's many people left who don't know about us at this point. And more importantly, this crew is not still here following my orders because of Alliance regulations or adherence to proper protocol. I don't think you staying with me is going to change that. If denying ourselves the pleasure of being together somehow made it more likely that we would win this thing, I'd do it in a heartbeat but it won't."

"Why are they here, still following orders, do you think?"

"I don't know. In the past, when we docked at port, I would return half expecting half the crew to be gone but they were always all still here. I think everyone here is committed. They want to see this through. They want to go home and to do that, they have to beat the enemy and they believe that we can do it."

"They believe you can do it. They look to you for that conviction."

"Maybe so. And I'm stronger when I'm with you. And I've seen you interact with the crew. I'm not the only one they are looking to for confidence. Just the other day, I watched as a crewman asked you a question and then said 'aye, aye ma'am' when you responded as if you are an Alliance officer. Like you're his superior."

"He just asked me my opinion and I gave it to him. It wasn't anything critical or I would have referred him to you." Liara smiled and then let out a little laugh. "And I don't want to be an Alliance officer. You people don't make any money."

"I make 10,000 whole credits a month with benefits!" Shepard snorted. "My point is, they respect you. And beyond that, they are a little in awe of you. It's not just me. They see you and Garrus and Kaidan and they start to feel strong again. They start to get that faith back that we are going to somehow see this through. Like it or not, you are a legend."

Liara started laughing again.

"What's so funny?"

Liara tried to get her laughter under control so that she could speak. "I was just struck by the absurdity of it all for a moment there. You are saving the galaxy on 10,000 credits a month. I used to make that in an hour sometimes when I was working as a broker. As the Shadow Broker, I could make that in a few minutes if I wanted. And you're still just a Commander. Can you imagine?"

"Yeah, that's just hilarious." Shepard said with a scowl but it soon turned into a smile. "As it turns out, being dead for two years and then working for a known terrorist group doesn't lead to promotion in the Alliance. Who knew? It does make you think what kind of galaxy are we saving? The people who risk their lives every day get paid next to nothing while the rich politicians and the rich businessmen watch from the sidelines, vaguely cheering us on."

"And that's what we are risking our lives to save. The everyday pettiness and selfishness of sentient organic life."

"But we are also risking our lives to save the everyday graciousness and generosity and beauty as well. For all its faults, the galaxy has lived in relative peace for hundreds of years. Most children grow up to be adults in relative safety and comfort. Not perfect by a long shot but there is plenty worth fighting for."

Liara laughed into Shepard's shoulder. "Jack was right about you. You really are Queen of the Girl Scouts. I've never met anyone as intelligent as you are who is as optimistic as you are."

"I don't consider myself to be optimistic or pessimistic. I consider myself a realist. Nothing or very little is black or white. It doesn't make sense to throw out the good because there is some bad mixed in or to give more weight to the bad than the good." Shepard grinned and ran her hand up Liara's thigh. "Besides, would a Girl Scout be trying to convince you to sleep here just so she can do wicked things to you?"

Liara's breath caught as Shepard's hand reached the top of her thigh. "Yes. Yes, I think she would. I think she must in order to get a badge. The 'Aid and Comfort' badge or something." Liara put her hand directly on Shepard's center and started moving it slowly. "You never have told me how many badges you have collected for providing 'Aid and Comfort'. And I want to know."

Shepard smiled and tried to speak as her breath became jagged. "We've discussed this before. That is classified information. I'm afraid I can't tell you. If I reveal all my secrets to you, you'll get bored. Either that or you'll decide that you need to catch up. Either one would break my heart."

"That's not going to happen. I love my little Girl Scout too much. Besides, assuming we beat the Reapers, I'm only going to live another 900 years or so. Would that even be enough time to catch up to you?"

"Very funny. It's not as big a number as I bet you think it is."

"Well then, why don't you just tell me? You realize that I can just ask you during a meld and you will tell me the truth before you can even stop yourself?"

"But you wouldn't do that because that would be cheating. Besides, I've taken some precautions. I've tried to train myself to think only 'apple' if the subject is ever brought up while we are joined."

Liara laughed and moved away from Shepard. Shepard gasped at the loss of contact and gasped again as the covers were ripped away from her naked form. "Well then, I think we need to test this new training of yours." Liara said with an evil grin as she dove face first in between Shepard's legs.

Shepard, unable to respond with complete sentences any longer, started chanting. "Apple, apple, apple, ap…

After, Shepard and Liara were lying in bed, on the verge of sleep, when Liara had another disturbing thought.

"It's just that…" Liara couldn't finish her thought.

"I know. It's just that right now, millions of people are suffering and dying while we are here in a nice warm bed enjoying each other's company. We're doing everything we can, Liara. And if whipping myself hourly would somehow ease their suffering or make it more likely that they will survive then I'd do it but it won't so we have to live our lives for as long as we have our lives." Shepard was quiet for a moment before speaking again. "The drawback being it's going to make it that much harder after if something happens to one of us."

Shepard felt Liara shudder as Shepard named the elephant in the room. Shepard said out loud the fear that was always there for both of them but that both tried to ignore, afraid that giving it voice might somehow give it more power and make it more likely to occur.

"I don't even want to think about that. It makes me too afraid."

"I know. Me too. But I think it's worth the risk. It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. At least, that's what Garrus says."

Liara rose up on her elbow to look at Shepard. "Garrus?!"

Shepard laughed. "Yes, Garrus. Now are you going to let your poor Commander get some sleep tonight or not?"

Liara settled her head back down against Shepard's shoulder and the couple soon fell asleep in each other's arms.


	18. Chapter 18

Shepard had just been seated when Garrus and Tali walked up to her table.

"Hey Garrus, Tali. What are you two doing here? I was just about to order. Want to join me?"

"Sure Shepard. Now I seem to remember you mentioning something about treating us to a free dinner since we helped you defeat your evil clone."

Shepard sighed. "Have a seat you two, my treat. How did you find me?"

"Just a fortunate happenstance. Do they actually have food that I can eat here?" Tali asked.

"Sure they do. Myself and the other Turians from C-SEC used to come here all the time." Garrus explained. Just as Shepard was ordering drinks for the three of them, Liara sat down next to Shepard, putting the bag she was carrying down next to her.

"Hello, Liara. Fancy meeting you here." Shepard said suspiciously.

"I was just in the area and I happened to see you in here." Liara explained quietly.

"Didn't I tell you that I was going to be here tonight?" Shepard asked.

"You might have mentioned something. I don't remember." Liara responded.

"Do you want anything to drink? My treat."

"No, thank you. I'm not really hungry either."

The waiter took their drink orders and disappeared just as Vega, Kaidan and Cortez sat down at the table.

"I'm beginning to sense another conspiracy here. Does anyone want to tell me what's going on? Or does come kind of clarion call go out once I take out my credit chit and offer to treat people to dinner?" Shepard asked. Before anyone could answer, the drinks arrived as did Joker with Edi and Traynor in tow.

"We're going to need a bigger table." Shepard addressed the waiter who soon motioned them to a larger table nearby. As they were leaving, Liara took the cocktail that Shepard had ordered leaving Shepard with only her glass of wine. Shepard sighed and transferred her glass of wine over to the new table. Once settled, the group began to order.

"Okay. Shepard's treat, right?"

"Yes, James."

"In that case, I'll have the Tenderloin steak with a side of T-Bone steak."

"Are you sure you're eating enough protein, Vega? We wouldn't want you to waste away to nothing", Shepard said with a snort.

Vega flexed his arm and shoulder muscles. "Grade A prime beef like this requires a lot of protein."

Shepard just rolled her eyes.

After everyone else had ordered, Shepard ordered the salmon with a shrimp cocktail appetizer. Shepard eyed Liara who had not ordered anything, insisting that she wasn't hungry, but who had managed to also steal Shepard's glass of wine.

"And I'll have that with an extra plate and I'd also like two more glasses of wine, please."

When the appetizers came, Liara reached out and took one of Shepard's shrimp.

"I knew you were going to do that which is why I ordered two plates. I don't know why you just don't order something for yourself."

"I'm really not that hungry but it looks good so I wanted to try it."

With that explanation, Liara stole another shrimp from Shepard. Shepard flagged down the waiter and ordered another shrimp cocktail.

When the entrees arrived, Shepard divided half her salmon and put it on the extra plate before sliding it over to Liara.

"It's tank-grown salmon. Nowhere near as good as fresh wild salmon but try finding that on the Citadel." Shepard explained. James noticed Shepard sharing her meal with Liara and decided to be gallant.

"Are you sure you don't want some meat with your meal, Liara?" Vega said while offering her a piece of his steak.

"No thank you, James. I'm not that hungry."

Shepard folded her arms and smiled at James. "Liara prefers fish, Vega. Just remember that always."

"I am partial to seafood. I grew up near the coast." Liara responded innocently.

James grinned at Shepard. "Fish is great but don't you sometimes get the hankering for some nice beef, Liara?"

Before Liara could respond, Shepard cut in. "She is very happy with fish. Though I have noticed that you tend to eat nothing but meat, James." Steve burst out laughing at the comment, encouraging Shepard to continue. "As a matter of fact, I don't recall seeing you eat fish ever." Shepard smirked at James as Steve continued laughing. Joker started laughing as well.

"I love fish!" James responded "I just don't have time for fish right now."

"I don't know, James. I've never seen you eat fish either. Maybe you're just confused about your food preferences?" Joker piped in grinning.

"I've eaten more fish than you ever will, Brittle Bones Boy. Fish just love me and I love fish."

"Are we still talking about food? Why is everyone laughing?" Liara asked confused. "Is this another euphemism for sex? Why do humans have so many euphemisms for sex? If you want to talk about sex, why don't you just come out and talk about it?"

"It's more fun this way. Besides, you can't just talk about sex in polite company. It's inappropriate. And this might be a double entendre more than a euphemism." Shepard explained.

"But you apparently are already talking about sex right here in public at dinner. You are just using some kind of code to do it and since everyone apparently knows the code except for me, what's the difference?"

"There just is one. I can't explain it." Shepard smiled and patted Liara's hand. "It's okay. I'll tell you about it later."

"I think the real truth is that Mr. Vega just loves Mr. Vega. It's a good thing he doesn't have a clone or he'd end up falling in love." Steve piped in. Everyone laughed.

Vega responded by flexing his muscles once again. "How could anyone blame me? I mean, look at this." James knew that the best way to deflect attention away from himself was to attack someone else so he continued. "And if the rumors are to be believed, our Commander has enjoyed plenty of fish and meat in her day."

"My dining preferences are no one's business except my own, Lieutenant Vega. Besides, I only want to eat fish now." Shepard smiled at Liara and briefly touched her hand again.

James continued undeterred. "I hear that the asari can eat just about any fish or meat from any world in the galaxy. That's got to be pretty intimidating for a…dining companion. To know that there's that much competition out there."

Liara smiled sweetly at Shepard. "It doesn't matter because I only want to eat Shepard." The smile left Liara's face as she realized what she had just said. "I mean, fish. I only want to eat fish!"

There was silence at the table for a moment until everyone burst out laughing as a deep blue blush grew on Liara's face and Shepard covered her mouth with a hand.

"I'm sorry, Shepard. I didn't mean to say that. I just got confused with the code."

Shepard let out a small laugh and took Liara's hand in her own.

"It's alright, Liara. I think everyone already knows but just in case there is anyone here who doesn't, Liara and I are a couple. If any of you have any comments or concerns about how this might affect the mission, feel free to discuss them with me. Here or in private. Not that any of you have had any problems giving me your opinions before."

"We all knew and no one cares", Garrus said.

At that, Traynor returned from the rest room.

"What did I miss?"

"Shepard and Liara are a couple." Kaidan explained.

"Really? I had no idea! That's just such a surprise! You two hide it very well. I had no clue whatso…

"It's okay, Samantha. Shepard and Liara already know that we all know." Edi explained.

"Oh thank God. I'm so not good at lying. And neither are you two apparently. Not very subtle at all, am I right?" Samantha said.

"Well, let's try to keep this little open secret confined to the senior crew, shall we? There's no reason anyone not at this table needs to know." Shepard asked reasonably. Shepard watched as her crew gave each other looks.

"Sure thing, Shepard." Garrus agreed for all of them.

"Okay, spill it. Who else knows?"

Kaidan spoke up. "I think everyone on the whole crew knows and Hackett apparently knows as well."

"What?! How the hell would my Boss know?"

"Goddess!" Liara exclaimed, embarrassed.

"I don't know but he asked me how you two were doing during one of our chats. It was in the context of a larger conversation. He wanted to make sure that I had my head on straight after the whole Udina thing."

"And what did you say?"

"I said that you two were fine and that it was not a disruption to anyone on the crew. I also said that you two work very well together and that your simpatico actually increases your effectiveness in combat."

"Good. Thank you Kaidan."

"Yeah, good job… snookums." James said with an evil grin.

The others at the table started giggling at the remark except for Edi, Shepard and Liara, who only smiled and blushed again.

"Private joke?"

"I believe that Mr. Vega is alluding to the times when you have called Liara by a name other than Liara in combat, Shepard." Edi said. "When you inadvertently called her by a, I believe the phrase is, pet name."

"What?! That never happened! When I'm in combat, I am a focused machine. I would never use a pet name!" Shepard said defensively.

"Oh come on, Shepard. Just last week, you said, and I quote 'Honey, float those husks!' right in the middle of a combat situation. And since Liara was the only biotic there and the only one who uses singularity, you must have meant her." Tali explained.

Shepard leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. "You just misheard me. I never called you that, did I Liara?"

Liara smiled at Shepard. "You might have said something like that a couple times. But what does it matter? I understood what you wanted me to do, I did it and the enemy was destroyed."

Shepard said nothing, her arms still crossed. Liara reached out with her hand and rubbed Shepard's forearm. Shepard's face brightened at the contact. She leaned forward and rubbed noses with Liara.

"How can anyone blame me? You are so sweet. You are honey! If honey were to take on a living form, it would be you."

"Okay! Now I'm getting a little physically ill. Remember when seeing these two together was kind of hot? The smoldering glances, the imagined exotic, cross-species sex between two attractive female-type people…" Joker said, sighing. "The good old days."

"I'm afraid I don't understand, Jeff. Why is it that males enjoy watching two females engaging in sexual activities together when it so obviously means that the females do not need or want a male involved? And why, if two people have genuine feelings of love and affection for each other does it make it less 'hot'?" Edi asked sincerely.

"Ahhh. Right. So Liara, why did you ask us all here?" Jeff responded, desperate to change the conversation.

"Yes. Since we might not have a chance to celebrate our respective birthdays later, I thought it would be nice to do it while we have the chance. And I bought a birthday gift that I thought everyone might enjoy." Liara reached into the bag beside her and brought out a shirt. The t-shirt was emblazoned with a picture of the Normandy and had the words 'Crew of the SSV Normandy SR 2…saving the galaxy on 10,000 credits a month or less' printed on it.

"Nice! I hope you have one in my size." James said.

"I definitely want one of those. I probably won't wear it but I still want one!" Tali exclaimed.

"I have enough so that everyone currently on the crew can have one. And some extras for some of our missing friends." Liara explained. "Though I'm not sure that they designed t-shirts with krogan in mind."

"Someone here makes 10,000 credits a month? I'm not getting paid at all!" Garrus complained.

"I'm still getting paid until the Alliance runs out of money." Shepard responded.

"Then you're definitely buying, Shepard. I think I'll have another round. And don't you humans usually have cake on your birthdays?" Garrus asked.

"Good idea. Waiter! Drinks and dessert all around." Shepard shouted.

"Thanks Liara. It's perfect. And thanks Shepard. The meal was really great." Kaidan said. "And it's great to be able to get together like this. While we still can."

"Agreed. I still can't believe that I've earned one of those shirts. If you told me a couple months ago that I'd be here, working with you all, I would never have believed it." Traynor said.

Shepard smiled. "Well, you've definitely earned it, Samantha. You all have. I can't think of any people that I'd rather have with me going into hell and hopefully back, than all of you."


	19. Chapter 19

Liara was busy kissing Shepard's neck when she felt the arms around her go limp and stop moving. Liara looked up to see that Shepard was now unconscious. Liara laid her head back down on Shepard's shoulder and chuckled softly. _I knew she was exhausted but this is a first_.

Liara knew how much Shepard enjoyed the times when they were able to stop by 'their' apartment on the Citadel and 'play house' as Shepard called it. On these occasions, they tried not to think about what they faced and they both tried not to think about how they might not ever get the chance to live together as a couple for real. But inevitably something would intrude, like now when Shepard had been working so hard that she had not slept in days.

Liara picked her head up and looked at her lover's sleeping face. She was beautiful. Even by asari standards, she would be considered beautiful. Especially now, when her face was smooth and the worry lines that creased her face between her brows and at the corners of her mouth were gone. She had been under constant pressure for months and when she was awake, the worry and the lines were always there.

Liara lifted herself off of Shepard's body as quietly and as gently as she could. She then reached over and removed Shepard's omni-tool. _She needs to sleep. They can all do without her for a little while. _

Shepard was still asleep two hours later when Liara silently joined her in the bed again. She was still asleep six hours after that when Liara woke up. She was still asleep two hours after that when Liara peeked in to check on her. Finally, after about 12 hours of unbroken sleep, Liara heard footsteps on the stairs above her. Shepard leaned over the railing and saw Liara on the coach peering at her ubiquitous data pad. Shepard moved over to her with a smile.

"Have I told you how much I love it when I wake up and you are here?" Shepard said as she bent over and gave Liara a kiss on the lips.

"You might have mentioned it a time or two." Liara reached up and gave Shepard another kiss. "Coffee's ready in the kitchen."

"And what are you wearing? I wasn't aware that you were in the N 7 program." Shepard teased as she tugged on the hood of the sweatshirt that Liara was wearing.

"I didn't have anything clean here and I took the chance that we would not get attacked and it was safe to not wear my armored suit."

The sweatshirt was long on Liara and fell to her mid thighs. Beyond the sweatshirt, Shepard couldn't see anything but long, blue, toned legs.

"And what are you wearing underneath my sweatshirt?"

Liara smiled coyly, "Wouldn't you like to know."

"Yes. I would very much like to know."

Shepard returned with a steaming cup of coffee and sat on the coach next to Liara. Liara was sitting with her back against one arm of the couch and her legs spread out on the couch.

"How long was I out?"

"About 12 hours."

Shepard bolted up from the couch. "12 hours?! Is anyone trying to reach me? Where's my omni-tool?"

"Relax. I've been keeping an eye on your messages and we are not needed back until tomorrow morning. We have almost a whole 24 hours while they run tests on the drive core."

Shepard sat back down on the couch. "Okay, but I want my omni-tool back. I feel naked without it."

"You don't need it. Just relax."

"Says the woman who is _always_ at her terminal or with a datapad in her hand."

Liara ignored the comment. "I was thinking we could maybe go out to dinner tonight? It would be nice to have something besides Normandy food."

"Okay, but let's do something before that." Shepard paused. "Let me guess. You have work to do before then?"

"I just want to finish up reading through these reports my operatives sent. There might be something useful in them. I'll be done in time for an early dinner, I promise."

Shepard snorted. "I still can't comprehend, really, that you have operatives. And if I am not supposed to be working, shouldn't you not be working as well?"

"Just a few more hours, I swear."

Shepard settled into the couch and took some sips of her coffee.

"When I fell asleep, were we..."

"In the middle of making love? Yes."

Shepard winced. "How embarrassing. I'm sorry about that, Honey. I didn't realize how tired I was until my head hit the pillow. It's not because of a lack of desire."

"I know that. How many hours had you been without sleep before that?"

"Not too many. Only about 18 or so."

"Uh huh. I don't believe you. Double that, maybe. You need to take better care of yourself, Shepard."

"Again. Pot, kettle, black."

Shepard picked up Liara's legs, put them in her lap and scooted closer to Liara. She snuck a hand out and tried to lift up the hem of Liara's sweatshirt so that she could peek underneath but the hand and the hem were slapped down by one of Liara's hands. Shepard tried to keep a straight face as she said, "You know, if humans start having sex and are interrupted, they can die if they don't finish having sex within 24 hours."

"Oh really? I hadn't heard of that quirk in human physiology before. Why do they die? What do they die from?"

"Something about blood circulation or something like that. It's very serious."

"I see. So, are you suggesting that we need to finish what we started within 24 hours or you will die?"

"Yes." Shepard responded with a completely straight face.

"Lucky for you that still leaves me plenty of time to finish my work and for us to go to dinner before we have to engage in life-saving procedures."

Shepard sighed and got up from the couch. "You're no fun sometimes, Honey. I'm going to go take a shower. Are you sure that you don't need to shower?"

Liara smiled. "I just took one a couple of hours ago but I thank you for considering my hygiene needs."

A few hours later, Liara's legs were once again on Shepard's lap while she was engrossed in her datapad. Shepard was looking at her own datapad but she was starting to get bored and restless. Shepard tossed the pad on the couch beside her and picked up one of the feet in her lap. Shepard started massaging Liara's foot. Liara peered over her data pad.

"I thought we had decided that I was going to get this work done so we could go out to dinner later?"

"I'm just giving you a foot massage. What could be more innocuous than that?"

"Uh, huh. I don't trust that at all."

Shepard ran her hand over the top of Liara's foot and up her shin to her knee and then back down again underneath her leg squeezing her calf muscles as she went.

"That's not my foot."

"Well, they're all connected. Who knows where one part ends and another begins?" Shepard said with a grin.

Liara sighed. "Why do I get the feeling that you have no intention of taking me out to dinner tonight?"

Shepard grinned again. "Don't worry. I'll make sure that you are fed. Now, I wonder..." Instead of finishing her thought, Shepard grabbed Liara's big toe. "This little piggy went to market".

"Shepard, what does a little piggy have to do with my toe?"

"It doesn't. It's just a something that you say when you grab someone's toe. And this little piggy stayed home."

"Shepard, why would a little piggy go to a market? Do piggies even have markets? And do little piggies even have homes? And why would one stay home while the other went to the market?"

Shepard is starting to get annoyed with all the questions. "It doesn't matter. The words are not important." Shepard noticed with satisfaction that at least Liara had put down her datapad. Shepard grabbed Liara's middle toe. "This little piggy had roast beef."

"Shepard, why would a little piggy eat a cow? And why would it be roasted? Do livestock on your planet have methods of cooking their food?"

Shepard stopped her hand and looked at Liara. "Seriously Liara? It's just a nursery rhyme. I'm just using it to find something out. And this little piggy had none." Shepard said as she grabbed Liara's second to last toe and wiggled it.

"Shepard, where did this nursery rhyme originate? And why do humans tell their children nursery rhymes about livestock?"

Shepard looked at Liara, who had a completely serious expression on her face and a look of curiosity in her eye. "What does it feel like to be the most curious being in the entire universe? Is it the crippling burden that it seems to be? To get something stuck in your head and just have to find out more about it?"

Liara ignored Shepard's questions. "I wonder what the moral of this rhyme is supposed to be? Perhaps, that little piggies and by extension, human children, should share their food?"

Despite the questions, Shepard felt Liara tense her body up almost like she knew what was coming next. It dawned on Shepard that she was being played.

"Now I see. All these questions are just a delaying tactic." With an evil look in her eye, Shepard said the last line. "And this little piggy cried wee, wee, wee all the way home." With that, Shepard attacked Liara's sides with tickles as Liara squirmed and giggled.

"That answers that question. You are very ticklish."

"Stop! Please stop!"

Shepard continued her attack. "Say 'uncle' and I'll stop!"

"Uncle!"

Shepard stopped with a smirk on her face. In the 'fray', Liara had squirmed so much that the sweatshirt that she was wearing was now above her hips. Shepard eyes widened as she saw what Liara was wearing underneath the sweatshirt.

"Hey! Those are my underwear too!"

"I told you that I didn't have any clean clothes here. And what does 'uncle' mean? I thought that 'uncle' was the word for a brother of one's parent. Why does one say 'uncle' in order to get another to stop tickling them?"

"Don't change the subject! I demand that you remove my clothing immediately!"

Liara looked Shepard straight in the eye with a tiny smile on her face as she pulled the sweatshirt off over her head. She then reached down, lifted her hips slightly, pulled off the panties and threw them at Shepard's head. Shepard's mouth went dry and she made a strangled, guttural sound in her throat as Liara stretched her arms above her head and parted her legs slightly.

"And what was that sound?!" Liara teased. "Are one of the little piggies here in this apartment?"

While Shepard was momentarily frozen by the sight in front of her, Liara made her escape. She bolted off the couch and ran up the stairs taking them two at a time. Shepard quickly followed once her brain caught up with what had happened. She found Liara in the hot tub, her look a mixture of innocence and seduction combined that managed to do in Shepard every time.

"If there's one thing I love better than naked asari, it's naked, wet asari."

Shepard slipped in to the tub, clothes and all and moved in menacingly to capture the naked asari.


	20. Chapter 20

Shepard had felt such happiness when Liara had agreed to spend her life with Shepard that she almost couldn't wait until that night to make love with her. But as the day wore on, the doubts came back and despite what was said, she still wasn't sure where they stood. When they did finally make love, Shepard tried to banish those thoughts least Liara find them during their meld but she wasn't sure how successful she had been. Afterward, Liara was lying next to Shepard with her head on Shepard's shoulder when Shepard realized that she was crying. Shepard gently removed her arm from underneath Liara and turned on her side to face her.

"Hey. What's wrong, Honey?"

"I'm so sorry, Shepard. I'm so sorry if I made you feel unloved or unwanted. The opposite is true." Liara paused before continuing. "To be honest, it's not just the work that has kept me away. I've been protecting myself because I'm so afraid."

Shepard put her arm around Liara and pushed her body closer. "It's alright, Liara. You're here now. That's what counts."

"You'd be better off with someone braver. Someone who isn't such a coward. When I lost you that first time, I almost lost myself. I just don't know if I can face that again."

"You're not the only one who feels vulnerable here. I'm just as scared as you are. Which is why it hurts so much when you hold back. I didn't expect this complication. I never had to worry about how my death might affect someone else. I never worried too much about how I would survive if someone else died." Shepard felt herself getting angry and she rolled away from Liara. "'I used to be perfectly happy to be on my own. I had some good buddies and my career and that was enough for me."

"I was happy before too. Without complications. I had my studies and my friends and that was enough and you ruined everything." Liara couldn't help but feel defensive.

Shepard got up from the bed and started dressing. She felt her anger start to rise higher.

"You know what? It's not okay. I'm trying to make us work and I'm giving it my all and you're not. That's not okay." Shepard kept dressing as she was thinking of the words to express how she was feeling. "If you had been the one in that prison, do you think there would be anything that would keep me from visiting you there? Anything in the Universe?"

Liara got up off the bed and faced Shepard. "I knew you were safe. And it wasn't a prison. My visiting wouldn't mean much if we didn't find something to combat the reapers."

"That's bullshit and you know it, Liara! Did you even get the birthday present that I sent you? Because you never acknowledged it if you did. Not one message. Are you trying to tell me that you simply didn't have the time to send me even one message? Just to let me know that you still give a flying fuck?! And don't even try to say that Hackett couldn't have gotten a message through for you!"

"No, you're right. You would have come to see me in prison and single-handedly saved a planet from destruction on the way there. But I'm just a mere mortal, unlike you Shepard. I get afraid. I have doubts. And if I concentrate on those emotions too much, then I become useless. I've been trying for the last four years to live up to your impossibly high standard and I just can't seem to do it."

"Do you know that I've been faithful to you since we met? And I've had more than a few opportunities not to be, let me tell you."

"Big deal, Shepard. What do you want? An award for not sleeping with anyone else? I haven't either. Or doesn't that count as much because I'm not the Great Commander Shepard?"

"Sometimes, it's like I'm this slightly interesting artifact that you want to keep for yourself but you don't have time for right now so you put me up on a shelf for when you get bored later. That's not fair to me. If you can't give me 100% like I give you, then you need to let me go because I want to find someone who cares about me for more than what I can do for them." Tears started to form in Shepard's eyes.

Liara felt herself getting livid. "How can you not know how much I care about you? You're such a selfish asshole! It's like you don't even know me at all! How many times have I shared my consciousness with you? When I lost my mother and my career, I made you my family. I made you my home like a stupid, little girl and I promised that I'd never do that again! And now, here I go again. And what happens to me if you die? How many times do I have to explain this to you? Or maybe the real problem is that you just won't forgive me for not always making you the center of the universe."

"But you yourself just admitted that it's still going on. You are still not with me completely. You're holding yourself back. Buying yourself a little insurance."

"You're not even listening to a single word that I'm saying!"

"Listen to me for once, why don't you? You don't miss what you've never had but I've had this glimpse of something that I've never had before and now I miss it. I'm an orphan, Liara. I don't even remember my parents. I was completely alone with no one to depend on but myself. Most of my life, there was no one around who even cared whether I lived or died. No one has ever loved me. Sometimes I still feel like no one really cares about me."

Liara felt her anger melt away as it suddenly occurred to her that this was not about her at all. Not really. Liara realized that Shepard was expressing feelings that she had probably never expressed to anyone ever before precisely because Shepard did feel so close to her. _If she didn't know how much I care, she wouldn't bother telling me these things. And of course she has a fear of abandonment. How could anyone with her background not? _Liara felt the pain in her own heart hearing how lonely Shepard had been. She felt an overwhelming need to protect Shepard and to try to soothe away her pain.

"That's not true, Shepard. There are a lot of people who care about you. And I love you so you can't say that no one has ever loved you."

"They care about what I can do for them!" Shepard said bitterly. "I'm not stupid, you know. Sometimes it occurs to me that instead of being a hero, I'm really just the biggest sucker in the galaxy."

"I know how many people make demands on you, Shepard, and it's not fair."

"I'm no hero, Liara. Do you want to know what I've been thinking lately? If we are successful and we defeat the Reapers, what do I get out of it? Why did I even bother with all this? Why do I have to find a way? Why do I have this burden? Why don't I just go hide and hope someone else deals with it like so many other people are doing? Why do I have to risk my life and the lives of those under my command, people I care about, over and over and over again? Let me tell you something. I don't want to die. I want to have a life. I have these thoughts and then I feel disgusted with myself for being so selfish." Shepard turned away from Liara, too ashamed to look her in the eye.

Liara moved behind Shepard and wrapped her arms around Shepard's stomach. Shepard tried to move away but Liara wouldn't let her. Liara held on tighter.

"You mean you're human just like the rest of us? Only the Reapers don't ask themselves these questions. Every other person has these kinds of thoughts every damn day. Sometimes every hour. I forget sometimes that you're only a person because you're so disgustingly brave. Now, come back to bed and let me tell you my offer."

"You're not human, remember?"

"You know what I mean. And that was weak. Come back to bed or if you're still too mad, we could go down to the shuttle bay and box instead?" Liara said teasingly as she started walking back towards the bed, pulling Shepard along after her. When they got there, Liara crawled in and pulled Shepard down with her, holding Shepard.

"Now let me tell you my offer. My first offer and what I want more than anything is to end this war once and for all. And then I want to settle down somewhere quiet with my bondmate and have kids and a really boring, mundane life for decades and decades until one of us dies of natural causes. No more bullets. No more explosions."

"Who's your bondmate?"

"I think you know her well. Let's be honest with ourselves and each other here, Shepard. That ship left the station a long time ago. Neither of us has any real say in the matter anymore." Liara paused and nuzzled Shepard's face with her own. "I feel like I'm already bonded to you and no words or ceremony or paperwork is going to make that more real. I feel like you are a part of me. I feel like I could no more leave you voluntarily than I could leave my arms behind."

Shepard couldn't speak until she managed to get control of her own emotions. "No explosions or bullets at all?"

Liara chuckled and leaned over to kiss Shepard's cheek. "Maybe I'll let you blow some stuff up and go shoot some things from time to time."

"The one who dies of natural causes first in this scenario will be me. Can you handle that?"

"I'll gladly accept it if I can get my decades and decades first." Liara felt the lump form in her throat and her voice choked as she continued speaking. "But I can't stand the thought of not getting our decades and our kids and our mundane life. I can't stand the thought of those fucking bastards taking that away from me. I can't stand the thought of those bastards taking you away from me!"

"Well then, I'll have to figure a way to stop them and not get killed in the process. Easy peasy." Shepard rolled over and faced Liara, a serious expression on her face. "But if I don't make it, I need to know that you will go on and have a long and happy life. If I die, that's the only way that this all will have been worth it."

Liara couldn't speak. The tears from her eyes rolled down her face and soaked into the pillow.

"Please promise me, Liara."

"I can't even think about that, Shepard."

"I need you to promise me that if I die, you will find a way to go on living and not squander one moment of your life. I need to know that you'll be okay and you will find a way to be happy."

"Can you promise me the same thing?"

This time, it was Shepard's turn for the tears to fall.

"Not so easy, is it?" Liara pointed out.

Instead of responding to the question asked, Shepard asked another. "You said that was the first offer. What's the second?"

"If you want, I will take my Broker assets and buy us a fast and stealthy ship and we can just disappear somewhere where the Reapers will never find us. We can live out our lives together without ever fighting another day. Let someone else figure out a way to beat the reapers."

"You're only making that offer because you think that I won't take you up on it."

"No, I don't think you will but if you want, we can do it."

"Okay. It's settled then. And we don't need another ship. I'm taking the Normandy and anyone who doesn't agree will be dumped at the nearest port."

"Okay. Done deal. We'll quietly ask those who we trust if they are on board and the rest get ordered to port."

"I'm serious here. If anyone objects..." Shepard drew a finger across her neck and they both laughed at the absurdity of the thought.

"I'm trying to think of a single time, in all the time I've known you, when someone needed your help and you simply said 'nope, not my problem' and I'm coming up blank."

"There have been times. But I mostly declined on ethical or philosophical grounds. There were a few times when little old ladies needed help getting across the street and I just ignored them. Because I'm a hardcore badass."

Liara chuckled.

"Well, My Love, you are definitely an ass sometimes", Liara teased.

"I have been under a little stress lately."

"I can't imagine why."


	21. Chapter 21

Liara stood outside of Shepard's cabin, debating with herself. _There's so much more that I could be doing. I shouldn't be here. I don't want to be a burden to Shepard when she has so much to worry about already. She already feels so badly about how things went. But Thessia is gone! My world is gone!_

Before liara could decide, the doors to the elevator opened behind her and Shepard stepped out. Before Liara could say anything, Shepard wrapped her arms around Liara.

"I'm so sorry, Liara."

"It's not your fault."

"It's no one's fault. But we're going to stop them, Liara. I promise."

With that, Liara started crying. Shepard could feel Liara's heart breaking and it made her own heart ache. But there was another feeling that started as a knot in her stomach and grew within her until all the muscles in her body tensed and her teeth clenched. She felt the familiar rage course through her body. Liara broke the embrace and started to move around Shepard to leave.

"I'm sorry, I'm just making you more upset."

"Dammit Liara! Don't you see that I need you as much as you need me? If we can't lean on each other then what's the fucking point of any of this?"

Shepard closed her eyes. She let herself feel the rage flow through her for another second and then she shut it down. Willing herself to focus on what needed to be done next. She willed the rage down to a single point of determination and resolve. She pulled Liara back to her and looked into her eyes.

"We're going to save Thessia, Liara. We're going to save Earth. We're going to end Cerberus. And then, we're going to kill every last fucking Reaper and make sure that this never happens again."

Liara was shocked by the intensity of emotion coming from her lover and if she were being honest with herself, she felt a little afraid, even though she knew that Shepard would never hurt her. This was the other Shepard. There was her Shepard who was kind and funny and gentle and maybe even a little goofy and then there was this Shepard who had literally killed thousands with her own hands. Liara knew that Shepard never enjoyed killing and she only did it when she had to but she was also undeniably very good at it. It was difficult to reconcile the two at times.

"I believe you, Shepard. I believe you. I just don't want to be a burden. I don't want to be a distraction."

Shepard said softer, "You're not. Just stay here tonight. We both need to get some sleep."

Liara tried to sleep but every time she felt herself drifting off, visions of a burning Thessia and un-moving, violet-covered bodies filled her mind. The tears fell down her cheeks quietly and she tried not to sob. _Be quiet. Shepard needs her sleep_. But instead she found her hands reaching out to Shepard's body until Shepard woke up.

"I just can't forget. I just can't get it out of my mind. Can you make me forget for just a moment?"

Shepard flipped Liara onto her back, put her full weight on top of Liara's body and kissed her hard on the mouth. Shepard's hands and mouth were everywhere until Liara could think of nothing but the sensations coming from her body.

Shepard stopped for just a moment, looked into Liara's eyes fiercely and said "Whatever you need me to do. Whoever you need me to be."


	22. Chapter 22

Shepard entered Liara's office and found her bondmate working as usual.

"How are you doing, Liara? You ready to head to Horizon and find these Ceberus bastards?"

"More than ready. I'm glad you're here. There's something that we need to discuss. It's not pleasant but it just feels like the end to all this is getting closer, one way or another, so there are some practical things we need to get out of the way."

"Practical things? Like what?"

"If I die within the next couple days or weeks or however long this takes, I need to know that things will be taken care of. I want you to take my body and bury me next to my mother in our mausoleum back on Thessia if you can."

"You're not going to die, Liara. I expressly forbid you to die." Shepard joked in a vain attempt to defy the knot of despair growing in her stomach.

"Please Shepard. We need to talk about this." Liara paused. "What would you like me to do with your body? There's a spot in the mausoleum for you as well if you want it."

"Assuming that I can't be brought back to life, you mean?" Shepard joked. Liara just gave Shepard her 'this is serious' look. "I don't care. Obviously, there is no mausoleum waiting for me back on Earth and I have no idea where on Earth my people came from so I guess you could bury me with your people. But then, maybe I don't want to be buried near your mother without you there. That could be awkward especially if she bossed you around as much as you say. I can just imagine what she would be like with a daughter-in-law."

"I swear, you are as bad as Joker sometimes. We are trying to have a serious discussion here. "

Liara waved her omnitool over Shepard's omnitool.

"There. I just gave you the location and passwords for all my accounts. I've already added your name on all of them as well. My mother was a wealthy woman and she left most of it to me. I want you to have it. I need to know that you will be able to do whatever you want once this is all over. That you will be able to quit the military if you choose and have any kind of life that you want."

Shepard couldn't help but let out a grim laugh.

"For any other couple who haven't even been on a first date yet, at any other time, this would be an incredibly morbid conversation but for us, right now, I think it actually reflects a great deal of optimism. You're assuming that there will be such a thing as accounts and credits once this is over. You're assuming that there will be a Thessia to bring your body back to after the war. You're assuming that there will be an after."

"I know, but my bondmate promised me that she was going to save Thessia and she was going to, quote, kill every last fucking reaper that there is, end quote, and she's always done what she's set out to do before so I have to believe she will do the same now." Liara smiled at Shepard.

"I'm afraid I can't offer you much in return. You can have what's in my bank account and whatever's in my cabin. I don't really have anything else." Shepard laughed again. "You know, before Anderson gave me that apartment, I'd never even had one before. I always just lived in Alliance housing or on the ships that I was serving on. You can have that apartment if you want it, assuming that Anderson doesn't change his mind and want it back after the war. I already put your name on it months ago. I figure that with such a small population, the Citadel is probably not going to be hit by the reapers before we either succeed or fail with the Crucible so it would be a relatively safe place to be just in case."

"All I want is you. But we have to take care of the practical just in case. I need to make sure my girl is taken care of in case something happens to me."

"Your girl? I like the sound of that." Shepard grinned and leaned in to kiss Liara's cheek. "But then you always were the possessive type. I remember you getting jealous when we visited that Consort on the Citadel way back when. And I sensed a little jealousy when Shiala melded with me to give me the cipher."

"I realized that it was necessary because we needed the cipher but I admit that I had a little irrational jealousy. You were my human and I was supposed to be the first one in that virgin mind of yours."

"Liara!" Shepard exclaimed, shocked but she couldn't help but laugh at Liara's possessive admission as well. "Well, you were the first and only one in my mind for joining. You know, the good kind of meld."

"I guess Shiala melding with you gives us something in common, then."

"Yeah." Shepard thought about that statement for another second. "Wait. What's that supposed to mean?"

"Shiala was one of my mother's followers for many years. I knew her when I was growing up and she helped to train me so of course, we melded."

"Wait a second! I thought I was the only one you've ever melded with!"

"You are the only one that I've engaged in the mating meld with but learning how to meld and how to control our thoughts is part of every young asari's education."

"I had no idea but I suppose it makes sense. How else would you know how to do it but I'll bet a lot of it is instinctual. I know doing the things that humans need to do to have babies is pretty instinctual for us."

"Right. But we need to learn how to control it and how to control our thoughts and emotions while we are doing it. It's all very non-sexual. We even meld with family members."

Shepard smiled, satisfied with Liara's answer. "Good. So I'm still the only one you've engaged in a sexual meld with." Shepard couldn't help but get a smug look on her face as she said it.

"Of course. I told you that." Liara paused as a slight smile appeared on her face before she continued. "Of course, we do engage in mental sex play with other young maidens so that we learn how not to get pregnant. It's all just part of growing up."

"What? You never told me that! How many people have you melded with?"

Liara's smile widened. "Turnaround is fair play, Shepard. You first. How many people have you had sex with?"

"That's irrelevant. I'm appalled to hear that you engaged in 'sex play' with 'young maidens'." Shepard paused. "And yet...is it wrong that those two phrases together actually turn me on a little?"

Liara laughed. "Yes, it is wrong but knowing you, not surprising. You realize that we are talking 20 and 30 year olds here and that asari don't even reach full sexual maturity until 40 or so."

"So what were you like as a sex-playing 20 year old maiden, Liara?"

Liara looked at Shepard. Despite their banter, she could see the overwhelming stress that Shepard was under in her tight lips, the lines on her face and the tense set of her shoulders. Shepard tried to put on a stoic front but she was different after the events on Thessia. Liara wondered how long Shepard could go on like this before she just couldn't do it anymore, before she reached the breaking point that every organic being has. Anything she could do to get Shepard's mind off what was ahead of them, even if for just a moment, would be a good thing.

"If I tell you a story, do you promise not to laugh at me?" Liara asked.

Shepard's eyes brightened. "I promise!"

"You might not be surprised to learn that I was always a studious, introverted sort. Most of the time, I was more interested in books and the adventures that I took in my mind than I was in the usual real-world drama that most young asari are interested in in their twenties."

"Shocking. I never would have guessed."

"Quiet. I'm telling you a story here. Anyway, I was maybe 25 and my mother was concerned that I had never engaged in this sex-play melding. She was afraid that I was developing too slowly and that if I didn't practice with other young maidens than I wouldn't learn how to control it. She was afraid that I would get pregnant once I reached full sexual maturity and all the hormones and their corresponding urges kicked in."

Shepard grinned. "She needn't have worried. You were 106 before your urges finally got the better of you."

"Shut up or I don't tell you what happened." Liara sighed before continuing. "So. My Mother used her political influence. She pressured some of the other matriarchs to bring over their daughters. She would then order us to go to my room alone hoping something would happen."

Shepard bit the side of her mouth trying not to laugh. "Okay, so your mother had to set you up with special play dates. When you were 25. To have foreplay." Shepard started laughing despite her best attempts not to. "I'm sorry. And how did these play dates go?"

"Not well, I'm afraid. And you promised not to laugh. I wasn't exactly popular with most of the other maidens and most of these 'playdates' just sat there looking at their omnitools. It was embarrassing being trapped in my room with these bored people for hours."

"They were obviously very stupid maidens. Not worthy of you. And I bet you were the prettiest maiden on the whole planet. So, you still haven't told me how many people you've melded with."

"And I won't until you tell me how many people you've slept with."

"Okay. On the count of three, we'll both reveal the number."

"Okay. Is this all melds or just the attempts at sex play melds?"

"All melds. Okay, ready? One...Two...Three..."

Neither woman said anything. And then both started laughing.

"I knew you were going to do that." Liara said.

"Ok. Let's try it again and this time I promise that I'll say the number. Ok, one...two...three...one."

"Seven. Hey, you said one and I know that's not right!"

Shepard wrapped her arms around Liara's waist and responded. "I said one because only one really mattered. And seven is a bigger number than I expected."

"You are such a charmer but I think you are just trying to weasel out of telling me. And the seven includes all the people that I have ever joined my mind with, including my mother and the people tasked with training me. Your reputation as my conqueror is safe. Now, quit stalling."

Shepard pulled back but continued holding Liara's hands. Shepard sighed. "Ok, I'll tell you but you have to promise to try not to judge me too harshly."

"I promise." Liara said expectantly.

"I don't know."

"What does that mean? How can you not know?" Liara laughed as Shepard squirmed and ran her hand over her neck nervously.

"Well, in most cases, we aren't talking about making love here. There were some that I just can't remember if a sex act actually occurred or not."

"Goddess! So you don't even remember all the people that you've had sex with?"

"Well, I think it's somewhere in between 26 and 33 but I don't remember exactly."

"And the galaxy sees the asari as promiscuous? Is this normal or are you some sort of degenerate human?" Liara smiled and ran her hand up Shepard's arm. Shepard smiled back.

"I think it might be on the higher range of normal but come on, I grew up in a gang and had no parental supervision. I was then in the military where hooking up just for entertainment or stress release is not exactly uncommon."

"And how old were you when you started, My Slutty Little Bondmate?"

"13"

"Goddess! You certainly were precocious about some things, weren't you?" Liara thought about it some more. "Maybe some time, you will share some of these experiences with me? Like maybe your first time?"

Shepard laughed and held Liara's hand again. "Oh God no. To say it wasn't much of anything is an understatement. It was with a boy not much older than I and neither one of us knew what we were doing. It was over before I knew it and I remember thinking: that's it? I couldn't figure out why people made such a big deal about it when it wasn't that great at all."

Shepard pulled Liara in for a hug and whispered in her ear. "Not everyone is lucky enough to have mind-blowing, eternity-embracing, multiple-climaxing, life-altering sex their first time."

"That's because not everyone is smart enough or patient enough to wait until they are ready and they find the right person." Liara responded as she pulled back so that she could kiss Shepard's lips.

"Very true." Shepard smiled and kissed Liara again. "Have I told you how much I absolutely love and adore you today? Thank you for taking care of the practical things for me and thank you for the distraction."

"You are very welcome. And I love and adore you right back."

Shepard reluctantly pulled away from Liara. "I'll let you know when we are almost there."

"I'll be ready."


	23. Chapter 23

Shepard could see the blackness closing in around the edges of her vision and she knew she had to make a decision fast least she pass out before she could act at all. She shuffled forward, still unsure which path she would take. Right or straight?

She had already dismissed going left. Even if she were able to control the Reapers, how long would it be, separated and apart from other life, before she started thinking of herself as a god? If there was one thing that Shepard had learned in her often difficult life, it was that power corrupted. She wouldn't trust anyone with that much power, not even herself. As long as the Reapers were around, every life form would be enslaved, living and dying at the whim of an almost all-powerful overlord regardless of who controlled them.

That left synthesis or destruction. A third option popped into Shepard's brain. It occurred to Shepard that she could also take the gun in her hand, put the barrel in her mouth and pull the trigger. It would be a statement to this so- called intelligence but what good would it do? Shepard had little doubt that Liara's 'Plan B' would survive until new races rose up to find all the information needed to destroy the Reapers but it would mean sacrificing every man, woman and child of every sentient advanced race alive today. Unthinkable.

Shepard staggered forward, still unsure if she would go straight or right. Both directions were horrible. Shepard had to figure out which was less horrible. The 'intelligence' had said that synthesis was the only lasting answer and that synthetics would always be created who would always choose to destroy organic life. But the Geth chose to not destroy an organic race even after being threatened with destruction by those same organics. If there is that glaring exception, can it really be inevitable? Shepard didn't know.

Ironically, if the only other option was taken, that very same synthetic race that had shown such nobility would be destroyed. How can I make that decision? To destroy an entire race? But if it saves trillions more, how can I not make that choice? And then what about Edi? Edi, her friend, who trusted Shepard to do the right thing for all of them, would be killed by Shepard's own hand as surely as if Shepard held a gun to her head and pulled the trigger. It would be the ultimate betrayal of a loyal friend, one who had saved all their lives in the past.

Maybe synthesis was the only real option but how can that be the right choice? Synthesis would mean that every advanced life form would essentially be destroyed, replaced by something different. And not one of them would have any say in the matter. Instead of a universe filled with diversity and the strengths that such diversity brought to the whole, it would be replaced by a homogeneous monotony. The intelligence had called such diversity chaos but maybe life was supposed to be chaotic. There would be peace but at such an unimaginable price. And who could say that this would bring lasting peace? If what was created was truly sentient life capable of thinking of themselves as individuals, why would war end? Individuals always coveted, they always formed tribes or groups to the exclusion of others and they always fought each other. Why would synthetic/organic hybrids be any different? Shepard thought that maybe the intelligence was right and that a mixed synthetic/organic form was the final evolution of life but this wouldn't be evolution occurring over millennium; it would it be a science experiment forced on everyone in an instant. Just like control, synthesis would strip away free will and the right to self-determination for all advanced life, including the geth.

That left only one answer. But it would be an answer that would force Shepard to make a conscious choice to kill billions of individuals. Individuals that Shepard believed were as alive as she was. What would her friends and comrades do? There was no doubt in Shepard's mind what Anderson would have done. _Anderson is dead! I shot Anderson!_ Shepard could almost hear Anderson in her head telling her to finish what they all had been forced to start. Do what needs to be done and destroy them all. There are always casualties in war and a soldier can't save everyone. Shepard thought about her friends and how they were counting on her to make the right decision. One by one, she saw their faces. She saw the faces of the people who had already died at the hands of the reapers. They all told her to do what she had been hired to do. Shepard couldn't decide what Edi would do but she thought that there might be a good chance that she would pull the trigger as well.

Shepard started walking up the right ramp, the pistol in her hand. Shepard wondered if this was finally the moment of her death. She had cheated it so many times before. Sooner or later, she would have to pay the debt. The 'intelligence' had not said if this option was survivable or not but Shepard already felt so weak. As Shepard moved closer to the device, she could feel the immense energy of it radiating towards her and she would need to get even closer to activate it. There was no way that she would survive once that energy was released. _Liara! _Shepard felt the tears start to form in her eyes and she felt her heart seemingly tear itself in two_. I will never see Liara again! I will never have children!_ _I will never know what it's like to have a family!_

But if I do this, Liara will get that chance to have children and to live a long, hopefully happy, life. Garrus and Kaidan and Tali and Steve will all get that chance. But not Edi. _I will be killing Edi!_ But Ash and Mordin and Thane and the millions of others who fell victim to the Reapers in this cycle will be avenged. But not Legion. Legion's entire race will get only extinction as a reward for their noble decision. Not fair but Shepard could see no other way. The ruthless calculus of war as Garrus had called it. Shepard's luck had finally run out. Shepard held up her pistol and started firing.

As Shepard moved closer and continued firing, she remembered the gift that Liara had given her only hours before though it now seemed like a lifetime ago. Shepard had never before felt so understood or so loved. Maybe it was best that she was going to die. Liara would never find out what a monster she really was. A Monster responsible for the death of billions. In the history of the galaxy, Shepard would be second only to the Reapers in numbers killed. Liara would probably intellectually agree with her decision but how could anyone love someone who had killed so many? Especially Liara, who was essentially a gentle and non-violent person and who, more than anyone else Shepard had known, saw the Geth as living individuals, deserving of just as much consideration and respect as any organic being.

Shepard fired again and again, moving closer and closer to the device. It was best that she would die now. Kill all the monsters at once. The reapers and herself. Good riddance and good luck to all that remain. Shepard felt guilt and remorse. She never should have pressured Liara into loving her. She should have just let her be. Good luck Liara. Please be strong and let me go quickly. You are the best thing that ever happened to me_. I love you! I am so sorry_...


	24. Chapter 24

Shepard opened her eyes and saw only smoke and rubble. Shepard tried to sit up but it hurt too much. She could barely breathe. _Was this the Citadel? Is this hell_? Maybe hell is of our own making and we are doomed to languish at the scene of our biggest sin for all eternity? Shepard could accept that but she had no idea that there would be so much physical pain even after being separated from the physical body. She felt a sharp pain in her lungs every time she took a breath. _Am I really breathing? Could I still be alive_?

Shepard lay there for a moment and tried to move her arms and legs. She could see her feet moving but her left arm would not respond. She pulled herself to her knees with her right arm. After catching her breath, she managed to pull herself to her feet. _I think I'm still alive_. Shepard felt her left hand, which dangled uselessly by her side, with her right. It was still warm which meant that the limb was broken but likely still living tissue. Shepard looked down at her side. She was no longer bleeding and part of her clothing and armor appeared to be fused to her skin. The blast from the Crucible probably burned the armor to her but thankfully, in the process, cauterized her bleeding wound, preventing her from bleeding out. Shepard started moving away from the smoke. She had no idea where she was or where she should go.

After moving for countless minutes, she entered a corridor and started to hear the screaming. Along the corridor, she saw bodies. There were human bodies but also some turian and asari bodies as well. She then saw some reaper corpses. A battle happened here, Shepard thought. Unlike the corridor that she had been expelled into after hitting the beam from Earth, these people were not being harvested. They died fighting the Reapers. The body of a CSec Officer was slumped against a wall. Shepard was starting to get to the places on the Citadel where people actually lived and worked. Even after the Reapers got control of the Citadel and moved it to Earth, there would have been millions still alive who remained on the Citadel. It would have become another front, another resistance movement, in a war that had hundreds of fronts. Shepard kept walking. After another few minutes, Shepard saw a MediGel dispenser affixed to the wall. She removed three and injected them all directly into her body. She found a discarded piece of clothing and using her good arm and her teeth, she fashioned a sling of sorts to cradle her useless arm and keep it close to her body.

She waited a moment to let the MediGel kick in. She felt better. The pain was still there but it was dulled. Shepard started walking towards the sound of the screaming. It was an asari woman. She was pinned under the corpse of a dead cannibal and screaming nonstop. It was a nightmarish experience providing a nightmarish scene. There were other people around the woman but they ignored her, seemingly too dazed to even notice. Shepard wondered why the asari simply didn't use her biotics to move the dead creature but then, not all asari cared to be trained in how to use their natural abilities. Shepard went over to the woman and motioned to a man slumped on the floor nearby.

"You! Get over here!" The man gave Shepard a vacant look. "Yes, you! Get over here!"

The man walked over to Shepard who was kneeling besides the screaming woman.

"On the count of three, I need you to help me roll this corpse off this woman, okay?" The man only nodded in response. "One…Two…Three!" Shepard pulled up and pushed out as best she could with one arm and the body rolled off the woman. Once freed, the woman scurried away from the body on all fours. She stopped screaming but still looked terrified.

"You're okay. It's over now. Are you hurt anywhere?"

The woman only shook her head in response. Shepard noticed the CSec insignia on the woman's jumpsuit. Definitely not an officer but she worked for CSec.

"What's your name?"

The woman cleared her throat before speaking.

"A.. Astrea."

"Nice to meet you, Astrea. Do you work for CSec?"

"Yes. But I'm not an Officer, I'm just a secretary! I can't fight!"

"That's okay. The fighting is over now. The Reapers are gone. Do you know where we are? Do you know how to get to CSec headquarters from here?"

"Yes. Yes, I think so. I think it's down that connecting corridor and then to the left."

"Can you stand? Can you take me there?"

"I think so." Shepard helped the woman to her feet and then followed the woman as she started walking. Shepard knew that CSec would have sensor information on all parts of the Citadel still operating so that she could see how bad it was. It would also have communications. Shepard hoped that she would be able to contact other areas of the Citadel and maybe even the galactic fleet. A small group of survivors had gathered and were following Shepard. As they passed more survivors, the ranks swelled with Shepard encouraging them.

"Join us. We're going to CSec to see what needs to be done."

Shepard could hear her name being whispered behind her. She knew that she must look like death itself but people still recognized her. From a distance, CSec appeared to be deserted. CSec Officers would have seen themselves as the last line of defense and would have joined the fighting once the reapers arrived. Once at CSec, Shepard stood before a bank of monitors and was stunned by what she saw. The Citadel was in pieces. The arms of the Citadel were still attached to the Presidium but parts of those arms were now floating in space, completely detached. The smaller pieces appeared to be completely without power and no lights were on. The bigger pieces had lights but Shepard knew that being detached from the spinning Presidium meant that there would be no gravity unless the artificial gravity generators had kicked on. It was possible that there would still be survivors if the power and the atmosphere remained intact. One of the monitors showed that the Sol relay was also in pieces. Shepard punched at the terminal in front of her, trying to make sense of the data. Shepard turned to the group behind her.

"Are there any Engineers here?"

A salarian male and a turian female stepped forward.

"Take a look at this data. We need to know what sections have power and which don't. Most importantly, we need to make sure that the power stays on."

"Is there anyone with medical training here?"

A few more people stepped forward.

"I want you to set up a triage here as best you can. The rest of you, go see if you can find any other survivors. Bring them back here. If you see any supplies that might be of use, bring them back here."

Shepard moved towards the communications bank and tried to figure out how to communicate with anyone, anywhere. The asari woman who had been trapped came forward.

"I know how to use the equipment. Communications were a part of my duties."

"Good, Astrea. Can you reach Earth with this equipment? The fleet? Other parts of the Citadel?"

"Assuming everything is working correctly, we should be able to reach anywhere that has communications. I'll check the different channels."

"Start by trying to reach the fleet."

More people starting streaming into Csec headquarters including some Alliance officers. Shepard wondered vaguely if they had considered themselves lucky to be 'safely' on the Citadel before the reapers showed up. The Officers approached Shepard.

"Commander, what do we do?"

Before Shepard could respond, one of the engineers spoke.

"Commander? We have a real problem here!"

Shepard turned to the Engineers.

"What's wrong?"

"The Citadel appears to be shutting down. We are trying to figure out how we can stop that from happening."

"What about the Keepers? Has anyone seen any Keepers alive?" Shepard asked the crowd behind her.

One of the Alliance officers spoke up. "We saw them getting here. They seem to still be alive but they aren't moving. They were just standing around motionless."

Shepard now knew that the Keepers had been controlled by the Catalyst through some kind of mental link. Shepard assumed that the Catalyst, being a wholly synthetic lifeform, was destroyed by the Crucible along with the reapers. The Keepers, as far as anyone knew, were organic but they were directed to help the reapers by signals sent by the Catalyst. Without that signal, it made sense that they would be inactive. Shepard had no idea what kind of creatures they were before the reapers but it was obvious that they were just mindless husk-type creatures now who's only reason for existing was to keep the Citadel operating to continue the cyclical harvests. The Catalyst, for all its sophistication and genocidal tendencies, had just been an AI and all AIs needed a brain. And Shepard guessed that it would have been a very big brain.

"Can you bring up the schematics for the entire Presidium?" Shepard asked.

An engineer worked on the keyboard until a large schematic came up, far too large to see any detail on it. By this time, more engineers had come up behind the original two.

"If you were going to build a large computer that would be able to access all areas of the Citadel and send out signals to all areas of the Citadel, where would you build it?" Shepard asked.

The engineers looked at each other and then down at the schematic.

"I'm afraid I don't understand, Commander. How will this help us?"

"I know for a fact that the Keepers used to be controlled by an AI that was built into this station. This AI used signals to control the Keepers. What I don't know is where the 'body', if you will, of this AI is located. If we can locate the body, maybe we can reactivate it and program it to get the Keepers to help us save this station and ourselves in the process."

"Like a 'blue box'"? asked one of the engineers.

"A blue box to end all other blue boxes. It would be large and it would have been hidden from everyone on the Citadel except the Keepers."

The engineers looked intrigued and began looking at the schematics again.

"There is not a single engineer anywhere in the known galaxy who knows exactly how the Citadel works so I think we need to figure this out, ladies and gentlemen, or we could all be dead if that power goes out before the fleet comes back. Time is of the essence."

Shepard walked back towards the communication's board.

"Any luck, Astrea?"

"Negative, Commander. No word from any of the fleet yet. But there are people out there on those wards asking for help."

"Is there any communication with Earth?"

"I have heard people from Earth broadcasting on different channels trying to raise the fleet. Should I try to hail one of them?"

Shepard punched in the most commonly used, unclassified Alliance channel and spoke.

"This is Commander Shepard on the Citadel. Are there any Alliance personnel on this channel?"

The line screeched as many different radios tried to cut in at once.

"One at a time, please. Any Officers down there?"

"This is Captain Hiyama in London. I'm what's left of the command structure of Hammer. What is the fleet status? The reapers here are neutralized. What happened?"

"The Fleet has not returned, Captain. All the reapers have been neutralized. We have a whole bunch of people up on the Citadel and it is possible that we might lose power. Are there any space-worthy ships there?"

"Negative Commander. All ships that weren't destroyed by the reapers left to help the fleet protect the Crucible after Hammer was all but destroyed. What do you mean, ALL the reapers have been neutralized? Everywhere?!"

"The reapers have been destroyed. The war is over. Now we just have to worry about surviving until the fleet returns. If anyone on this frequency has working space-worthy ships, please respond."

Silence. Followed by people excitedly talking over each other.

"The reapers are gone…we won...the fleet...it's over."

"Please. One at a time. Does anyone on Earth know where the Fleet rendezvous point was?"

Captain Hiyama spoke up. "Transmitting the coordinates to you now, Commander. It doesn't make sense. The Fleet should be back by now. They just hopped out of the system because they didn't know what kind of damage the Crucible would do to surrounding ships."

Shepard spoke again. "The Relay has been severely damaged. I have reason to suspect that the whole Relay network has been damaged. By my calculations….

Astrea had already done the calculation for her. She held up her omni-tool with the result.

"It will be another 37 hours before the Fleet gets back here at top FTL speeds. I'm asking everyone on Earth to just hold on. The reapers are gone. You survived for months on your own. Now you just need to hold out for another 37 hours."

"What about skycars, ma'am? Can we use them to evacuate?", Astrea asked.

"Negative. Skycars can operate in the vacuum of space but they were never designed to make it through a planet's atmosphere. At best, we can use them as life pods and hope that the fleet returns to pick up the occupants."

For the first time in months, Shepard wasn't worried about those still on Earth. Now the danger was to the people stuck on this station. If the power went out before the Fleet returned in 37 hours, they would all die. Earth was out there tantalizingly close but without ships, they might as well be stuck on the moon before space flight. Shepard turned to one of the Alliance officers standing behind her.

"Lieutenant. Go down to the docks and see if there are any ships still docked there. Anything that might ferry us to Earth."

"Aye, Aye Commander."

Shepard turned back to Astrea.

"Is there any way to broadcast to the entire Citadel?"

"Yes. There are several channels that reach the entire Citadel."

"Okay. Open one of the channels and then record what I say. I want it broadcast continuously."

"Yes, ma'am. Whenever you are ready."

"This is Commander Shepard of the Alliance. If you are in a safe place where there is power and life support, stay where you are. The reapers are no longer a threat. If you are not in a safe place, make your way to the Presidium. The power should stay on in the Presidium the longest. Please call back on this frequency if you need help and to report the status of the area where you are located. Don't panic. We will get everything sorted out. I repeat, the reapers are no longer a threat so it is safe to come out if you are hiding. We need any engineers or anyone with experience maintaining the Citadel to report to Csec Headquarters if you are able. All Alliance and CSec personnel, report to CSec headquarters if you are able. Shepard out."

As soon as Shepard stopped speaking, the communications board lit up with calls coming in from all over. Astrea looked up at Shepard, overwhelmed.

"It's okay, Astrea. Just answer them one at a time. Take this data pad and record any information that you can get. Anything that might be important. Tell everyone that we will get to them as quickly as possible." Shepard turned to speak to the others in the room. "Is there anyone else here who can operate this communication equipment?"

Several people stepped forward.

"Okay, get on it. We need to know exactly how things are out there so we can help people and hopefully, help ourselves."

Shepard went back over to the schematic where the engineers were arguing loudly.

"That's too far away from the main power sources. There's no way that you would build a blue box that far away from a major power source.", the turian engineer argued.

"Too close to power source, too close to people. Would have been found. Needs to be in a more isolated spot.", the salarian rapidly countered.

"Have we at least narrowed it down?", Shepard asked.

By this time, several other engineers were also loudly voicing their opinions.

"There is some disagreement as to the possible location. We have narrowed it down to three locations.", the salarian said until the human engineer behind him started arguing again. "Okay. Four possible locations."

"Can we get to these locations? Are they accessible?"

"With the use of ducts and assuming there has been no structural damage, yes."

Shepard looked behind her and spotted some Alliance officers and a few CSec officers milling around, unsure what to do.

"I need four Alliance or CSec Officers to take an engineer to each of these locations. Any volunteers?"

All of them stepped forward. Shepard pointed to four of them.

"You, you, you and you. Come here and download this schematic. I need you to go to each one of these locations to try to determine the location for the Citadel's Central AI. Once you reach the location, report back to me on this frequency directly."

"Report back as soon as you find what we are looking for. Once we can determine the location, I'll send the rest of the engineers to you. This is crucial. All our lives might depend on getting to these locations as quickly as possible. "

Each of the Officers saluted and rushed off with their assigned engineer. Shepard went back to the Communications board.

"What do we have so far, Astrea?"

"We have reports of the life support failing in a section of the Zakera ward, Commander. I think it's that section right here." Astrea pointed on the map to one of the larger pieces floating in space, completely separated from the main Citadel. "I have several reports from this section that there are thousands of people still alive but they report that life support and artificial gravity have been blinking on and off. There have also been some reports of fighting, Commander. People have been getting into fights over access to skycars."

Shepard turned towards the remaining CSec and Alliance officers.

"The rest of you, I need you to take some volunteers and get as many skycars as you can find in the air. I want you to go to this section of Zakera ward and evacuate as many people as possible. Lieutenant, I'm putting you in charge. Go grab some weapons from that pile there."

The Lieutenant looked confused. "I thought the reapers were gone, ma'am?"

"They are. But these are desperate people and desperate people do stupid things. You have to make sure that the evacuations are orderly. If anyone refuses to follow orders or tries to push in front of others, you have to do what you need to do. Is that understood? Does everyone understand?"

The Lieutenant swallowed before responding, "Aye aye, Commander." The other officers nodded grimly.

"Stick together. Get people to the Presidium as quickly as possible. Make as many trips as you can. Give preference only to children. Everyone else waits their turn. Understood?"

"Aye aye, Commander", the Lieutenant said before turning and running out of Headquarters, the others following behind her.

By this time, the first Lieutenant sent to look for space ships had returned. He was out of breath as he reported to Shepard, shaking his head.

"I tried several of the docks, ma'am. There are no ships anywhere. They must have left when the reapers got here."

"Okay, Lieutenant. Stand by for more orders. Get over to the triage to get those wounds looked at and then return here."

About an hour later, Shepard was pacing in front of the operations board, trying to coordinate rescue operations out of the disabled sections of the wards. Out of the corner of her eye, Shepard saw an asari woman enter headquarters. She was bloodied and her dress torn. Despite her dazed look and unkempt appearance, which contrasted greatly with her usual regal appearance, Shepard recognized her immediately. Shepard walked over to her and put her good hand on the woman's shoulder.

"Counselor Tevos. You're alive. Are you alright?"

The woman looked at her with haunted eyes.

"Yes. I…I'm alright. I have some cuts but I'm fine."

"The other Councilors? Is it possible that they 're still alive?"

"No. They came so fast. No one had time to evacuate. They just destroyed the Citadel security fleet. The Destiny Ascension was destroyed within minutes. And then the…creatures came while we were all together. The two other councilors were both shot. I used my biotics and I ran. I ran and I hid. I didn't even look back. I just ran and hid." The asari had tears in her eyes and her voice wavered.

"You did the right thing, Councilor. The reapers came in force. They were going to take this station no matter what. Nothing could have stopped them from taking this station. We are going to need your leadership now more than ever."

"Are they really gone? Did we really win?"

"Yes. The reapers are gone."

"Is there anything that I can do? Right now?"

"I don't know. What can you do?"

"I had some medical training in my younger years."

"Good. We have a triage set up over there. Eventually we need to move some of those wounded to a real hospital if we can. Maybe you can try to contact the hospitals and see if we can coordinate to have the most critically injured transferred to a working hospital?"

"I can do that."

Shepard smiled at Tevos. "Good. I'm very glad that you survived Councilor."

Astrea motioned towards Shepard frantically. "The engineers are on that comm channel you gave them, ma'am.'

"Let's hear it."

"We found it, Commander. We found the blue box." The salarian engineer shouted excitedly.

"Good. I'll have the other engineers move to your position. See what you can do to get it running again."

After ordering the other engineers to the AI's location, Shepard started to feel her injuries again. She went over to the make-shift triage and injected some more medigel. One of the medics attempted to get her to sit down so that she could be examined but Shepard waved her off. There was still so much more to do and the fleet would still not be back for hours. Shepard waited for the medigel to kick in and then went back to work.

Hours later, Shepard finally received the message that she had been waiting for. Several sections of the Citadel had gone dark with the power completely lost. If the engineers didn't come up with something soon, power could be lost on the entire Citadel and all hands on the Citadel would be lost with it.

"I just received a report from the engineers, ma'am. They think they have a hack that will get the keepers moving again. They are waiting for word from you to load it to the central computer."

"Patch them through, Chief."

The human engineer came through the comm link. "We think we have a program that will reactivate the keepers. Assuming that the keepers remember what to do to repair and maintain the Citadel, it should work."

"And the risks?"

"If we're wrong, it could cause the systems to shut down ever faster. But with the rate at which systems are shutting down, we think that we just can't wait any longer until more simulations are run."

"Do it. And I want a report once the central computer is back online."

About twenty minutes later, the salarian engineer reported in. "Systems have been stabilized. The keepers have started repairs. It's amazing how fast they work, Commander. Better and faster than any person or VI that we could create could work."

"Good job. Good job to all of you. You all might have just saved all our lives. Keep working on it and let me know if there are any more problems."

Shepard addressed the Chief who had taken over for the exhausted Astrea at the communication's hub.

"Status report. How are the evacuations coming?"

"We've lost a lot of people, Commander. There was just no way to evacuate everyone from all the…pieces of the wards before power went out but we have skycars still working to get everyone out from all the pieces that still have power."

Shepard looked at the large monitors in front of her. There were several pieces that were completely dark. They were a cold, dark grave for unknown numbers of people. But at least they had been able to save some of them and the power had been stabilized. Shepard looked at the monitor above her head. Another 8 hours or so and the fleet should be back. Because the ships themselves and any communications from them would be travelling at the same FTL speeds without the help of the mass effect-powered comm buoys that had mostly been destroyed, there was no way to know for certain that they would be back. All they could do was hope. Shepard felt the last remaining adrenaline leave her body. The medigel that she had been pumping into her body just wasn't working anymore. Shepard could see the black closing in around the edges of her vision.

"Chief. How is Huerta Memorial Hospital doing? Are they able to accommodate all the causalities they are receiving?"

"The doctors have been transferring patients and supplies around to the different hospitals and clinics thanks to the help of volunteers. Councilor Tevos has been coordinating the transfers. At last report, they were doing all they could and were holding steady."

"Good. If you would, can you please get me to Huerta? I think I'm going to…."

Before finishing her sentence, Shepard collapsed to the floor with a loud thud.


	25. Chapter 25

Shepard opened her eyes and saw a grey metallic ceiling. She tried to move but something was preventing it. Hospital. For some reason, she had restraints on. She opened her mouth to try to speak but nothing would come out, her mouth too dry to form words. A moment later, two doctors came into the room. One of them ran her omni-tool over Shepard while the other tried to get Shepard to drink some water from a straw.

"How are you feeling, Commander? We had to restrain you because we were afraid you would move and damage the skin grafts on your side. If we remove them, do you promise not to move around too much?"

Shepard nodded. Doctor Michel hit a few buttons and Shepard tentatively moved her arms and legs. Shepard grabbed the water beside her bed and drank some more before trying to speak again.

"Doctor Michel. It's good to see you survived the war. How bad am I?"

The Doctor smiled at Shepard. "And it's good to see that you survived the war, Commander Shepard. That will make a lot of people very happy." The Doctor looked at her holographic chart. "Let's see. When they brought you to us, you had a shattered left arm, five broken ribs, a punctured lung that had just collapsed, internal abdominal bleeding, and severe burns on your left side and legs. Not to mention, you were suffering from exhaustion and dehydration. Oh and a slug or two were still lodged in your body but why mention those? The good news is that if you are a good patient and do as you are told by your doctors, you should recover from all your injuries."

"Good. Thank you Doctor. How long have I been out? How is the Citadel? Is the Fleet back yet? Can I get up?" Shepard moved to sit up and then winced as she felt the pull on the skin grafts on her side. Doctor Michel hit the buttons again and reactivated the stasis field.

"That is not a good patient. That is not listening to your doctors."

"Sorry. I'll be good. I promise."

The Doctor released the restraints again.

"In answer to your questions. You have been out for two weeks, most of it induced because we needed you to heal. The Citadel has been stabilized though, of course, it is still in pieces. The engineers figured out how to get the keepers working again. The Fleet returned shortly after you passed out. Finally, I would prefer it if you stayed off your feet for another week at least."

"Doctor, I have to pee and if I can avoid the whole bed pan indignity, I would be very grateful. Not that I don't appreciate the whole adult diaper look I have going now."

The Doctor smiled. "I think we can get you to the bathroom, Commander. It wouldn't do to make the Savior of the Galaxy pee in her bed. Use the bed mechanism to get into a sitting position. You then need to swing your legs off the bed very slowly and let us help you. Remember, your legs will be very weak."

"Savior of the Galaxy? Please tell me that they are not calling me that."

"I'm afraid they are, Commander. And there are a whole bunch of people who have been trying to get in here to see you but we stopped them. Admiral Hackett is on the Citadel and will be here to debrief you shortly. Now, slowly, Commander. Don't use your stomach muscles if you can."

Shepard pushed the button on the bed's controls until she was sitting up. The two doctors flanked Shepard as she swung her legs over the side of the bed and lowered them to the floor as carefully as possible. Shepard finally managed to stand and the doctors walked her slowly to the bathroom.

"Remember to be careful with your left side. Use your right arm to help lower yourself."

After getting out of the bathroom, Shepard wanted to walk around some more but the doctors would have none of it. They returned her promptly to her bed.

"So, how bad are the mass relays? Can they be repaired? Have any of my friends stopped by to see me? How are things on Earth? What can I do to help from this bed?"

"You can rest, Commander. As I said, Admiral Hackett will be here shortly to debrief you. In the meantime, I will let you watch the news feeds but if you try to move from that bed or you try to help with anything but getting yourself stronger than I will restrain you again and put you under again."

"Yes, Doctor. I'll be good."

Shepard watched the news from her bed. The fleet was back. The mass relays were severely damaged and no one was exactly sure how to rebuild them but the asari were offering to provide technology to get them back up. The tone of the broadcast was optimistic but there was no celebratory tone. When one of the feeds started to relay some of the numbers, the reasons for the muted tones became obvious. An estimated 564 million humans dead in the fighting or by the harvesting on Earth and her colonies. Tens of thousands of ships lost. Communications to most of the home worlds for the races who composed the fleet had not been reestablished so estimates of the current populations of other worlds were unknown. Millions still homeless on Earth due to the near destruction of whole cities. Hundreds of thousands homeless on the Citadel. For now, it appeared that the Fleet had been able to coordinate food distribution so that no one was starving but Shepard imagined that hunger would be a real threat as well. 564 million human lives lost! The number was incomprehensible to Shepard.

Before the numbers could truly sink in, Admiral Hackett entered the room, an uncharacteristic smile on his face. He moved over to the side of her bed and sat down in the chair next to it. Also uncharacteristically, he reached out and held her hand briefly. Despite the smile, Shepard could see the lines on Hackett's face and could tell that he still had much to worry about.

"How are you feeling, Commander?"

"Okay. My side hurts and I feel weak but I'm okay. How are things with the fleet, sir?"

"The other races are already starting to get restless. Communications have still not been re-established with any of the other home worlds except for Thessia. I don't know how they did it but the asari back on Thessia have almost already repaired their relay and have been instructing the engineers here how to repair the Sol relay. Without those relays and the communication buoys, communications are at standard faster than light speeds. It will be weeks more before we hear anything from Palaven or the other worlds."

"How many ships did we lose, sir?"

"We're not sure yet. We are still hearing from new ships almost hourly. The shockwave from the Crucible threw many ships off course and they never made it to the rendezvous."

Shepard swallowed. "And the Normandy?"

"We haven't heard from them yet, Shepard but like I said, we are still hearing from other ships all the time."

"They didn't report to the rendezvous?"

"No. But we have reports that they were seen hitting the Sol relay right before the shockwave hit so they probably made it out of the system. We know that they were not destroyed in the fighting but we don't know where they ended up or where they are now." Hackett paused before continuing. "There is good reason to hope, Shepard. There were a couple ships that saw the Normandy right before she hit the relay and they said that they did not see any significant damage."

Shepard nodded. She felt her stomach drop as Hackett was talking. _They have to be alright. Please be alright._

"Any other news, Admiral? From any of my other former squad mates?"

Shepard saw a flash of sadness in Hackett's eyes before he smiled again reassuringly.

"There'll be plenty of time for reports later, Shepard. I'll leave you to rest…

"Please sir, if you know anything, please tell me. Not knowing is always worse."

"There are reports that the private ship being commanded by Miranda Lawson was lost in the fighting. The ship was defending the Crucible and was hit directly by a reaper beam. Reports say that the ship exploded."

Shepard closed her eyes. _So unfair. She never even got the chance to find out who she was without her father, without Cerberus .I wonder about Oriana... _

"Thank you for telling me, sir."

"There is good news as well. Your former biotic squad mate, Jack, made it as did her students. She tried to come see you about a week ago. And then the asari justicar? I forget her name but she was here as well."

Shepard smiled before speaking again.

"What about the krogan? Have you heard from Urdnot Wrex or Grunt?"

"Both are fine. The majority of the krogan insisted on leaving for home at normal FTL speeds right after the battle, your friends included. We tried to discourage them. Tried to tell them that they would be better off waiting for the relays to be repaired but I'm sure you know how hard it is to tell a krogan anything. Assuming everything goes alright for them, they should be back on Tuchanka in a couple months or so. Wrex asked me to give you this."

Hackett passed a small datapad into Shepard's good hand.

"Duty calls, Commander. If you need anything, contact me directly. I want you to stay in this bed until you're fully healed and that's an order."

"Aye, aye Admiral. Thank you for stopping by. And Admiral, you look like you could use some rest yourself, sir." Hackett nodded before leaving the room. The door whooshed shut behind Hackett and Shepard was left alone with her thoughts. There had been so much death, so much destruction. Now the battle to survive and to rebuild was just beginning. Shepard didn't envy Hackett. He still had the weight of the galaxy on his shoulders. _Liara! Where are you_? Shepard didn't know what to think about the Normandy. The news was not good. Good would be the Normandy sitting in dock right now, her crew safe and sound. But the news wasn't bad either. If any crew could get back here, it would be the crew of the Normandy even if they were damaged. _Even without Edi_. The full weight of what Shepard did came racing back to the forefront of her mind. Shepard tried to push it back into the recesses of her consciousness. Can't focus on the past, need to focus on the future and what still needs to be done.

Shepard hit the button on the datapad that Hackett gave her and Wrex and Grunt shimmered into view on the recording.

"Shepard!", both grogan said simultaneously.

"Sorry we couldn't hang around until you woke up from your little nap but there's no telling how long Bacara and the other allied clan leaders will be able to keep the other pyjaks in line on Tuchanka without us there." Wrex smiled.

"We knew you'd make it, Shepard. They don't make non-krogan any tougher than you." Grunt interjected.

"I hear that you were the one to make it up to the Citadel to fire the Crucible. It's only fitting that you were the one to fire the last shot in the Reaper War. And since you're an honorary member of Clan Urdnot, it means that the krogan saved the galaxy again." Wrex laughed at his own bad joke.

"Too bad you lived, Shepard. It would have been a great death. Now you run the risk of dying in your bed like a salarian or something." Wrex growled a little and Grunt quickly spoke again. "But we're glad that you made it. Wouldn't want it any other way."

"Take care of yourself, Shepard. And don't forget about your krogan clan. We might need some of those damn salarians to get our Relay up again. We'll contact you as soon as we can."

Shepard smiled, glad that her two krogan friends seemed no worse for wear. Shepard could hardly believe that she was still alive. It was like waking up from a nightmare. She still didn't feel awake and was unsure if she could really discern what was real and what wasn't. She stretched her body out and felt the pain in her side. The physical pain was somehow comforting. It cut through the mental fog and reassured her that what she was experiencing was real. There was nothing that she could do at that moment except get better so that she would be ready for the overwhelming challenges that the galaxy would no doubt face in the coming weeks, months, years. And when her ship and her friends did finally return home, she would be well and ready for them.


	26. Chapter 26

Shepard stared at the light blinking on the monitor on her desk. She knew she should answer the call but she just couldn't find the strength to do it. It had been six months since the reapers were defeated. Five months since she accepted the position of the Commander of the Citadel. Five months of nothing but one problem after another. The requests for resources, repairs, aid were constant and through it all, everyone looked to her to somehow provide all the answers and to somehow, make it all better. Finally, Shepard reached out and hit the accept button.

"You've been ignoring my calls, Shepard."

"I thought you were a diplomat, Councilor Tevos. Aren't you supposed to always lead with pleasantries? You know, it puts the other person at ease so that you can then bend them to your will."

Tevos smiled at Shepard. Despite their rocky history, Tevos had become one of Shepard's greatest allies on the interim council. Since only the relays to the asari and salarian homeworlds had been repaired, the turian government had yet to select a replacement councilor and a stand-in had been chosen from the remaining turian fleet still stationed around Earth. Luckily, communications with all the homeworlds except for Rannoch and Irune had been reestablished or unluckily, from Councilor Tevos's point of view.

"I think we're beyond that so let me cut to the chase. Your friend Urdnot Wrex has been quite demanding in insisting that the krogan become a council race. It is starting to worry the other leaders."

"All the races have demanded to become council races since the war. Why are you worried about the krogan? And I'm in charge of the Citadel. Why aren't you talking to Rogers about this?"

Ironically, Nathaniel Rogers, the new human councilor was now Shepard's least favorite councilor. Shepard found him to be even more clueless than Udina had been. Why the Alliance countries choose him to represent Earth was beyond Shepard's ability to comprehend but Shepard suspected it had something to do with his vast wealth and access to the resources of many of Earth's largest remaining corporations. Shepard had been astounded when they chose Rogers instead of a war leader especially when it was learned that he had not helped with the resistance movement on Earth at all and had instead spent the entire war hiding in a bunker in a remote area.

"I think we both know my relationship with Mr. Rogers is not the best but I think he is also against offering the krogan or any of the other races membership into the Council at this juncture. He is just afraid to say it publicly least it affect human corporate interests with the other races. Frankly, no one is afraid of what the volus or the hanar or elcor will do if we don't give them what they want. You know Wrex personally. Perhaps you could talk to him? Convince him to tone down his rhetoric?"

"The krogan have few ships and even less infrastructure to build a war machine. Besides which, Wrex is not going to start any war no matter what happens. He just knows that he is coming from a place of weakness so of course, he acts like he has overpowering strength when it comes to negotiations. The krogan were suffering even before the war. He's just looking for resources to rebuild Tuchanka."

Tevos sighed. "Really Shepard. I've been a Councilor for a hundred years. I am well aware of negotiation tactics. What you don't realize is that when Wrex says these things in public, the people get nervous and the economy drops 100 points. We can't afford that now with the already extremely tenuous galactic markets."

"So now the galactic economy is my responsibility too? Fine, I'll talk to him. Is there anything else?" Shepard snapped out the last sentence.

Tevos looked at Shepard's eyes. She looked tired. After a moment of silence, Tevos changed the subject.

"Has there been any word?"

Shepard shook her head.

"There's still reason to hope. I heard that just the other day, another ship from the fleet returned. The galaxy is a big place and without all the relays, travel is slow. I'm sure the Normandy will make it home soon."

"I can only hope, Tevos. I'll talk with you later."

There was still no word from the Normandy and in her darkest moments, Shepard was beginning to lose hope. Shepard had to believe that they were on their way home because the thought of facing more losses was not something that she could bear. After she had left the hospital, Shepard tried to locate friends only to learn that they were dead or unaccounted for. Kelly Chambers aka Felicia Hannigan was still be on the Citadel when the reapers hit and was presumed dead. Commander Bailey was one of the first killed when the reaper troops stormed the Citadel. Zaeed Massani was MIA from the fighting on Earth and presumed dead. Jacob Taylor's status was still unknown. Every week, Shepard received a call from his fiancé Brynn Cole asking if there had been any word and every week, Shepard had to break the bad news that they still had no idea where he was or what had happened to him.

Even three weeks after the battle ended, when Shepard left the hospital and assumed command of the Alliance-controlled Citadel in the newly-created position of Commander of the Citadel, they were still working on identifying and disposing of all the bodies. Shepard took it upon herself to personally contact the next of kin when a body could be identified. So many other bodies were just disposed of when DNA records could not be located for identification or the next of kin could not be located.

There were some bright spots. Shepard read the report about Jack and her students surviving and was astounded. Originally posted as a rear guard to protect Hammer, their left flank collapsed leading them to be on the front line. Though an amazing display of classic small squad action and incredible biotic prowess, they were able to hold the line for hours until the Crucible had fired and the reaper troops were destroyed. Jack had led them through it without a single casualty. Shepard had been so impressed and proud of Jack's leadership that when Jack had visited her in the hospital, Shepard had stood up out of her bed and saluted with a huge smile of her face. To which Jack, predictably, gave her the one-finger salute in return and called her an ass. Hackett had been similarly impressed. He had offered the older students field commissions into the Alliance. He had offered Jack a commission as a Major and a permanent teaching position at the new Grissom Academy. Jack accepted the teaching position as a civilian but declined the commission into the Alliance saying she just couldn't deal with all that chain of command bullshit. At last word, Jack was with her students at the make-shift Grissom Academy being run out of an abandoned warehouse outside of Boston and all was well.

Samara had also come to visit Shepard in the hospital. Another report from a squad trapped behind enemy lines, told the tale of a tall, blue woman with a cool demeanor who came out of nowhere, efficiently killed almost fifty reaper troops and then led the squad back to safety. Shepard teased her when one of the soldiers that she had saved sent Samara a marriage proposal through Shepard. Unlike Jack, who had visited Shepard a few times while she had been in the hospital, Samara apologized that she had to leave as soon as the Sol Relay was repaired to return to Thessia so that she could travel to the Nimbus Cluster as soon as that relay was repaired by the asari. Samara was desperate to see if her daughter had survived alone on Lesuss all those months and didn't want to delay any more than necessary. Shepard had been much relieved when she received a message about a month later stating that Falere was alive and well. Falere had even been allowed to visit Thessia under Samara's supervision until the monastery was rebuilt. Shepard had been glad to hear it as it never set well with her that the asari essentially jailed people for a predisposition. Shepard couldn't imagine humans jailing the approximately one percent of the population that possessed the gene that caused psychopathy in humans before they had ever committed any crime.

Later that night, Shepard was in her apartment and was surprised to hear her buzzer sound. She had traded the apartment set aside for the Commander of the Citadel and settled into a very small studio apartment tucked away in an obscure location in one of the repaired sections of the wards. Few people outside of Hackett and her assistant knew where she lived and she rarely got visitors, which was one of the reasons she made the trade in the first place. Ever since the war, everyone treated her differently. They no longer saw her as a person or even as one of the most widely-known celebrities in the galaxy but instead saw her almost like a living mythical creature.

Shepard opened the door and was even more surprised to see Tevos standing in her doorway. After her initial shock, she stepped aside and motioned with her arm for Tevos to enter.

"Come on in. Can I get you anything? I'm having a scotch myself. Would you like one? Or something else?"

Tevos entered the apartment and looked around with wide eyes.

"No thank you. Are you sure you're comfortable in this apartment? I'm sure we can find you some place bigger and nicer."

"No. This suits me just fine."

Shepard sat down on her couch and motioned for Tevos to follow. Tevos sat down nervously. Now that she was here, she wasn't sure if she would be brave enough to talk about what she had come to talk about. Shepard waited patiently for her to speak.

"I'm sorry Shepard. This is not easy for me to say. I wanted to apologize for not believing you sooner. About the reapers, I mean. If I had believed you back in 83, maybe we could have saved more lives. Maybe we could have stopped the reapers sooner."

It was obvious that Tevos was looking for some sort of absolution but Shepard's sometimes inappropriate sense of humor got the better of her and she started chuckling instead. The irony that Tevos was looking for forgiveness from one of the galaxy's worst mass murderers in history was too much.

"You want the truth? If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes or should I say my own mind, I wouldn't have believed it myself. Some soldier comes to you and talks about visions of some invincible machine race that come every 50,000 years and clean out the Galaxy? How could anyone believe that? Besides, you saw the reapers. There was no way to stop them without the crucible even if we had spent every moment of those three years preparing."

Shepard was surprised to see tears in Tevos' eyes. Survivor's guilt. Shepard knew all about that. No one knew what really happened on the Citadel the final day of the war. No one knew the decision that Shepard had been forced to make. As far as she was concerned, no one ever would either. Shepard knew all about survivor's guilt. And she knew all about regret over the mistakes that she had made costing other people their lives.

"That might be true, Shepard but if I had admitted to myself earlier that the reapers were real. If I had told you about the beacon on Thessia earlier, we could have saved so many more people."

Shepard became serious. "No, we wouldn't have. The majority of the matriarchs didn't want to believe the reapers were real and they didn't want to reveal the existence of the beacon. If you had told me, there would have been nothing I could have done about it. I couldn't very well invade Thessia to get access to the beacon against the matriarch's permission. Besides, the information on Thessia was about the catalyst. That information was useless without the designs for the Crucible which were on Mars. And I seem to remember that human authorities were against giving any of the other races access to the Mars Archives until it was almost too late. If it weren't for Hackett pulling strings and getting Liara access… "

Shepard didn't finish her thought. The asari government had been aware of Shepard's relationship with one of their citizens for years and by all accounts, it had been a serious one despite Dr.T'Soni's very young age. Tevos could see the brief flash of pain in Shepard's eyes at the mention of Liara's name. It was a look that Tevos saw in the eyes are far too many people since the war's end.

"I suppose you are right. Perhaps it was just meant to happen the way it did. It's just difficult to look back on all my actions, see all the mistakes and missteps and not wonder how things might have gone differently if I had not made them"

Shepard laughed again, only this time it was a bitter laugh. She poured herself another drink.

"I know all about that. I'll tell you how millions of lives could have been saved, maybe tens of millions. If I had been better prepared when I got to Thessia. I should have known that Cerberus would be there. If they hadn't taken that data first, the Illusive Man would not have tipped off the reapers and the Citadel would have remained where it was. Think about all the people who died here when the reapers hit and think of all the people who died everywhere because of the delay and all because I failed as a soldier and a leader."

Tevos briefly reached out and touched Shepard's hand. "But that is illogical. There was no way you could have known that Cerberus was there. I still don't know how they found out about that beacon. I can only assume that other prothean information elsewhere led them to its existence. The only other possibility is that one of the handful of matriarchs who knew was a traitor. Regardless, there was no way that you could have known. And even if you had, there is no way of predicting if the outcome would have changed."

Shepard thought back to the advice that she had given Liara about how the past was the past and all they could do is try to learn from their mistakes and try to do better in the future. Shepard had not realized until now how laughably naïve and inadequate that advice had been. Despite its inability to relieve the doubt and regret, the advice was essentially true. Nothing could be done about the past so it was best not to concentrate on regret.

"I think that all either of us can do is try to learn from our mistakes and try to do better in the future. I'll tell you what I think we should do. It appears that we will be working together, hopefully together instead of against each other, for the foreseeable future. Perhaps we can keep each other honest. If you see me showing poor judgment and sincerely believe that I'm making a mistake, take me aside and tell me that I'm being an ass. I'll do the same for you."

Tevos smiled. "That could work, Commander. So long as you're not just being an ass by telling me that I'm being an ass."

Shepard laughed in response. "A certain amount of trust in the other person's judgment is definitely involved. I'll do my best to be honest in my assessments. And in the spirit of keeping each other honest and making each other aware of our mistakes, I'll start." Shepard grinned widely. "When I first told you the reapers were coming and you completely brushed me off and then tried to humiliate me publicly, I was…"

Tevos shook her head and sighed but she was smiling as she grudgingly said "Right. You were right all along."

Shepard smiled broader. "And you were…

"Wrong. I was wrong."

Shepard laughed. "You see, I feel better all ready."

"Commander Shepard?"

"Yes, Councilor Tevos?"

"You're being an ass."

Oriana Lawson was finally about to land on the Citadel. It had been months since the war and almost immediately after it had ended, she began trying to find out what happened to her sister. She knew from Miranda's last messages to her that she had decided to work alongside the Alliance in the Battle for Earth. She had managed to somehow commandeer a private frigate and was last seen trying to protect the Crucible from the reaper fleet.

Oriana had tried to contact everyone she could with the Alliance and they either didn't know what happened to her sister or wouldn't tell her. She had used all of her impressive hacking skills to try to access secret Alliance records but she still was not able to get any leads. Her adoptive parents had died during the reaper bombardment of Bekenstein but Oriana had managed to survive until the wars end. Once the Serpent Nebula relay had been repaired by the asari, Oriana lied, cheated and stole her way until she managed to get passage to the Citadel. She knew exactly where she would go to find out, once and for all, what had happened to her sister.

Shepard was surprised when Oriana burst into her office, bypassing her assistant by simply brushing her aside. As soon as Shepard saw Oriana, she was reminded of Miranda and Oriana could tell just by the look on Shepard's face that her sister was no longer alive. Without saying a single word, she turned and left Shepard's office, needing to be alone before she crumbled. Shepard bolted off her chair and grabbed her arm before she left Central Operations.

"Please Oriana. Please come back to my office so that we can talk."

Oriana allowed herself to be led back to Shepard's office. She sat down in the chair in front of Shepard's desk while Shepard sat down on the corner of her desk and put her hand on her shoulder. Oriana started to cry and Shepard just let her without saying anything for a few moments.

"I know it doesn't mean anything to you right now but your sister died a hero. Her ship was defending the Crucible when it was hit directly by a reaper beam. Reports say that it is very likely that the reaper fighters that she and her crew destroyed would have breached the Crucible defenses if they did not act as they did. I don't think I have to tell you what might have happened if those fighters got through."

"Stupid Randa. I told her not to be a hero. How could she survive my father and then escape Cerberus but then go in die in a stupid war that she never should have been part of anyway?"

"I don't know why it happened. I don't know why anything happens the way it does anymore. But I know why she decided to fight in the war. She did it because that's who she was. She saw a problem and she was compelled to try to fix it. That's why she got involved with Cerberus in the first place and why she decided to help rebuild me. She was never the type that was going to hide from a problem. She wanted to help all of humanity and there was no way that she was going to sit out the battle to take back Earth."

"I'm alone now..." Oriana said quietly to herself. "I'm sorry Commander Shepard, I need to leave."

"Wait! Let me help you Oriana. What do you need?"

"I don't need your help, Shepard. I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself."

With that, Oriana left before Shepard could say another word.

A few days later, Oriana decided that she would try to catch a shuttle to Earth. She had degrees in art history and modern philosophy, not exactly the most useful degrees in post-war Earth, but she was confident that she could bluff her way into a job. Maybe something in City Planning. She had always loved cities and with the massive rebuilding that was happening on Earth, it seemed like a way that someone with her intelligence could make herself useful.

The only problem was that her money was gone. She would need to hack some ATMs to get the credits in order to secure her passage to Earth. Should be easy enough...

A few hours later, Oriana found herself in a cell. Apparently, all the ATMs on the Citadel had been upgraded since the war and were nearly impenetrable to all but the most advanced thieves. Oriana didn't even know that she had tripped the alarm before C Sec came along and arrested her. Not a good start to her job search. Now she would have to change her name again and falsify more records once she had served her sentence.

To Oriana's surprise, the next morning instead of being brought before the magistrate, she was brought to a small room where two men in suits sat. One of the men stood and offered her a chair when she entered.

"Hello Ms. Lawson. I'm Tom Herman from the Elgin Corporation and I'm here to offer you a job as part of a diversion program that we've started with CSec. You'll work as an assistant City Planner in the Midwest of the United North American States. If that works out well, we might even move you to work on some of our bigger projects in some of the bigger cities."

Oriana was stunned. She figured that Commander Shepard was behind this but she had no idea how she could have known about her plans to try to find work as a City Planner. Oriana felt manipulated and she started to get angry.

"No thanks. I'll take the judge."

The two men looked at each other. Mr. Herman spoke again.

"I don't think you understand. This will be a paid position. We will even find you temporary housing. I don't think I have to tell you how difficult it is to find housing on Earth or on the Citadel right now. Many people are still on waiting lists and forced to live in shelters."

"I have a degree in art and philosophy. I don't know anything about city planning."

"Our sources say that that will not be a problem and that you will learn as you go along. You wouldn't just be helping yourself here. Earth needs you. The destruction on Earth was devastating and not a single city on the entire surface was left unscathed."

"No thanks. Can I go back to my cell?"

The two men looked at each other again. Mr. Herman nodded his head toward the door to the other man and both men left. Oriana was alone for about twenty minutes before Shepard predictably entered the room, shaking her head.

"You are as stubborn as your sister."

"I can take care of myself. I don't need another guardian angel."

"I see how well you take care of yourself. Believe me because I know from personal experience that petty theft is not a forward-thinking career move."

"I understand that you feel a responsibility to me because my sister saved your life but it really isn't necessary."

"Your sister did literally save my life. On more than one occasion but that's not the only reason I'm trying to help you. We need smart people. And I care about you."

"You don't need to care about me."

Shepard shrugged. "Too late. I already care so I'm already obligated to try to help. Please, Oriana. You'd be doing me a favor as well. I've already lost far too many people that I care about."

Oriana saw the sad look in Shepard's eyes. She recognized the feeling of loss that she saw reflected there because it was the same look that she saw in her own eyes when she thought about her parents or her sister.

"Okay. I'll give it a try. My sister told me how persuasive you can be. She also told me that you are the only person she has ever met who was more relentless than she. If I don't say yes now, I'll just find people following me around for months until I can finally lose them."

"She was a smart woman and you are quite right. I have a hard time just letting things go."

"But I want to fail or succeed on my own. If I can't do the job, I want to be fired just like anybody else. I don't want you pulling any more strings on my behalf."

Shepard smiled. "Fair enough but I don't anticipate that will be a problem. I'm pretty sure your sister had no training in rebuilding dead humans but she figured it out. I'm sure you can manage to rebuild some cities."


	27. Chapter 27

_"I love you, Shepard"_

_"I love you too, Liara"_

_Liara moved her face closer, her incredibly blue eyes locked on Shepard's before whispering "Show me." During their meld, Shepard tried to banish the negative thoughts to the furthest reaches of her mind. She tried to show Liara all the love, desire, respect, gratefulness she felt for her. Thank you so much for loving me. Thank you so much for being there for me! Despite their intentions, they both felt the doubt and fear and sadness, in themselves and in the other. Their lovemaking was passionate and sweet but unlike their previous times together, there was a tinge of desperation. Shepard tightened her arms around Liara trying to keep her near but she just disappeared and Shepard was left holding only air. _

Shepard woke up and looked up expecting to see stars. Instead, there was only the dark grey ceiling of her small, windowless apartment. _Citadel. Alone._ She looked at the clock beside her bed. 6:15 AM. She had slept for a little less than 2 hours which was, for her recently, a good night's sleep. She wasn't needed anywhere until 8 but she knew from past experience that there was no use trying to go back to sleep. She got up, sat down on her sofa and reached out for the bottle still on the coffee table from the night before. She was very much aware that it was not healthy to start drinking early in the morning. She was aware that she was 'self-medicating', as the doctors called it, but she didn't care._ I just need to survive this. _And if having a sip or two at 6 in the morning helped her do that, so be it. She wouldn't develop a problem and if she did, she'd deal with it later. Right now, she just had to take a sip, grit her teeth and _just survive this_. Alcohol, stimulant, repeat as necessary.

Shepard was showered, dressed in her uniform and in Central Operations before 8. She stood before her monitor waiting for the morning's briefing. The screen flickered to life exactly at 8 as usual. Admiral Hacket now stood before her.

"Good morning, Shepard. I'm afraid something has come up. Some representatives from all the races will be docking at the Citadel today to see the progress and I need you to show them around."_ Crap. I'll have to go change into my dress blues. Did I even get them cleaned last time? _

"Thanks for the advance warning", Shepard said sarcastically. "Can't Jensen take care of this, sir? He knows more about the repairs anyway. I'm not an engineer."

"Sorry Shepard. They all want to meet the Legend. Tensions have been flaring and we need to do all we can to keep everyone together and moving forward. We didn't put you in charge of the Citadel for your engineering skills."

They defeated the Reapers. They were alive. There would be a future. But now that there was no common enemy, they were starting to fight each other. Again. Of course. It didn't help that some of these people were trapped here around Earth, unable to get home because their relay was not back on line yet. In some cases, unable to communicate with their home worlds to see if they even had a home to go back to.

"Should I wear my dress saddle, Sir?"

"Just get it done, Commander. They'll be there within the hour. Hackett out."

Shepard sighed. She was really not in the mood for this today. She glanced towards her assistant.

"Lieutenant Astrea, you heard 'em. Reschedule everything I had for this morning. I have to go get dressed. Meet me at the docks when you're done."

"Aye aye, ma'am."

When Shepard arrived at the dock, it was as chaotic as usual. Workers, engineers, soldiers, C-Sec and civilians, both those walking with purpose and those milling around, were everywhere. Shepard could feel the eyes upon her as they always were, everywhere she went. As she walked to Dock 17, one of the bolder civilians approached her. Shepard kept walking and the civilian followed at her elbow.

"Commander Shepard, can I speak to you for a moment? My daughter is still on a freighter and she's been waiting forever to get transport back to Earth. We haven't seen each other since the War and I just need to make sure that she's okay. I just need to see her."

Just then her assistant appeared by Shepard's other elbow.

"Commander, I managed to reschedule everything but the salarian engineers are insisting on meeting with you today, ma'am. They say it's urgent. They say the structural supports in Section A need to be replaced."

Shepard thought about it. _I'll swing by Section A with my guests. Show them the mess. It will be good for them to see it. _Instead of just the areas that have already been repaired and polished. As Shepard recalled, Section A still had blood stains on the walls and floors. _A nice little reminder for them_.

"Tell them I'll be there around 10:30. And Lieutenant," Shepard nodded towards the civilian still following on her side, "get this woman's information." Shepard glanced towards the civilian, "Give your daughter's name and the name of her ship to my Assistant. I'll see what I can do."

"Bless you, Commander Shepard. Thank you!"

_Bless me, more like fuck me_. Shepard continued walking towards Dock 17 when she saw a woman with a hovering camera rushing to move into her path. And off to the side of Dock 17, a piano. _Why is there a piano here? _Shepard altered her course but could see that the reporter was running to intercept. Shepard walked faster and kept her eyes straight ahead as the man at the piano began playing.

"Excuse me, Commander Shepard! Can I have just a minute of your time?"

"You know the rules, Ms. Saunders. All interviews must be scheduled through Alliance Headquarters. No exceptions."

"But it will just take a minute."

Shepard continued to walk as her assistant caught up to her. The reporter, undaunted, followed as well. The piano continued to play. Shepard couldn't hear herself think.

"Why is there a piano here? There isn't even enough room to move cargo now."

"The Bealchet Corporation managed to get permission from the Council for it to be here. They said that they want to provide a soothing atmosphere for incoming shoppers."

_A soothing atmosphere? Shoppers? Seriously_? The Citadel was still in pieces, millions were homeless, hunger was a very real danger for millions more and they were worried about providing a soothing atmosphere? The war had decimated whole worlds and thrust the whole galaxy into a depression, casting many people into poverty. But Shepard knew that even during the War, a War for the very survival of advanced, sentient organic life, there had been those who had continued looking out for themselves, hoarding resources. Now, with those resources needed by everyone to rebuild, there were some individuals who wielded more power than the Council or the Alliance or any of the other governments._ Isn't that how Cerberus got its power? _

"I want it out of there! I don't care what the Council says."

"Aye aye, ma'am. I'll get someone to remove it."

Shepard walked to stand next to the piano and addressed the man at the keys.

"There's been a mistake. This isn't supposed to be here. Please stop playing, sir."

The man stopped playing momentarily, considered and then starting playing again as soon as Shepard moved away. He wouldn't get paid unless he played so play he would. Piano players were not exactly the most sought-after employees in the new post-war economy.

"Hey, Shepard. Can you look this way, please? If I can't get an interview, can I at least get your picture in your dress blues?" Shepard ignored the reporter and straightened her tunic as the representatives began stepping out of the shuttle. As Shepard moved forward to greet the first person, the piano began to play haunting, familiar notes.

For a moment, Shepard didn't realize that she had hit the man. It was as if someone else's arm and fist were attached to her body. As the man went sprawling to the floor, Shepard watched as her arm took the pistol out of the nearby CSec Officer's holster. She watched as her arm pointed the gun and her finger pulled the trigger. The camera exploded into a thousand pieces as Ms. Saunders cowered. _That solves that problem! _The dock area froze and all eyes locked on Shepard. The C-Sec Officers and military personnel froze as well, completely unsure of what had happened or what they should do about it. A few nervous laughs. Everywhere, eyes full of shock. Others full of fear.

Shepard lowered her arm but continued gripping the pistol. For a split second, Shepard flashed back and saw herself moving and firing, moving and firing. The twisted creatures kept coming and coming. Just as she managed to kill a brute, a banshee was right on top of her, getting ready to fling the ball of energy. Another coming towards her from the left. And then another brute. "Stay in cover, Liara! Don't get too close!", Shepard screamed at the top of her lungs. _Why did I bring her here? In the middle of all this? _Move and fire, move and fire, move and fire. Her arms mechanically and efficiently popped and reloaded thermal clips seemingly continuously. No matter how many she killed, they just kept coming. The reaper getting closer and closer. The noise so loud, she could barely hear her own weapon over the sounds of the other gunfire.

_I wonder how many I could kill before they put me down? 50? 100? 200? I bet I could kill everyone in the whole dock. Put on a first-rate show. Wouldn't they like to see that goddamned show? You want to meet the Legend? I'll show you the real Legend! _

Instead, Shepard shoved the pistol into the chest of the C Sec Officer she had taken it from and walked back over to representatives, who were staring at her in dumb-struck silence.

"Shall we?" Shepard said graciously with a warm smile, her arm pointing the way.

Later, Shepard realized that this one was going to be more serious. This one would require some explanation. Getting in a few fisticuffs in a bar or yelling at some civilians or even telling off the interim council in spectacular fashion was one thing. Being the first person to fire a weapon on the Citadel since the war was something else entirely. And considering the fact that still, almost every day, some other bullshit article or news report came out about her, this was sure to make the headlines. She would have to think up something quick. Gun malfunction? Shepard was sure that she could pressure the C Sec Officer into going along. The piano player's broken nose was more problematic. She couldn't very well say that her fist slipped. Why did he have to play _that _song? At least there was no video. She had taken care of that loose end.

Shepard entered Central Operations and could feel the covert glances. She entered her office and closed the door, only to be disturbed a few moments later by her Assistant.

"Commander, I've been asked by HQ to write a report about today's...incident. What would you like me to say?"

_Jesus, the poor kid! Just beginning her career_. Shepard wondered how old the asari woman was. Shepard realized that she had a little of the hero-worship thing going on. When she first started working for Shepard, she mentioned how she had decided to stay on the Citadel and join the Alliance on an exchange program because of her. She had gushed at Shepard about how she was inspired by Shepard not only because of her part in the War but also because of her inspirational work to save the Citadel that she had witnessed first-hand. Now, she had to choose between loyalty to her Commander and doing the right thing and all because Shepard was an asshole who lost control.

"Astrea, just tell the truth exactly as you saw it. I'll be fine. Don't ever lie unless lives are at stake. It's just not worth it."

"Yes ma'am." She turned to leave, unsure if she was being chastised for considering lying or not.

"And Astrea?"

"Yes ma'am?"

"I appreciate your loyalty."

"Thank you, ma'am"

Alcohol, stimulant, repeat.

About a week later, Hackett contacted Shepard in the afternoon after missing that morning's briefing. There were rumors that the Interim Council was meeting with Alliance officials to discuss the 'incident' at Dock 17. Shepard had decided that she didn't care what they did to her and taking the advice she had given to Astrea, she didn't even try to spin what had happened. Thus far, she had not heard anything from the council or her superiors in the Alliance except for a brief message from Tevos which read: 'Shepard, Do I even need to say the word ass? Are you alright? My door is always open to you if you need to talk.'

"Commander Shepard. I just got back from speaking with the Interim Council about the incident at the Dock last week and we have decided on a suitable punishment. I'm afraid you're not going to like it."

"Shoot, Admiral. If it's too bad, I'll just go to my cult and be worshiped like a god." Shepard joked grimly and folded her arms.

"As your punishment, we are going to present you with a new medal created just for you, representing the highest honor from all the Citadel races. And then the Alliance is going to make you an Admiral. And finally, you are going to go before the cameras in your pressed dress blues with your shiny new bars and shiny new medal and you are going to give a rousing celebratory speech about how great we all are and how bright the…"

"No."

"Excuse me? Did you say something Commander?"

"I said that I won't do it."

"This is an order, Commander or should I say Admiral. Not a request."

Shepard could feel her anger building and she started to pace. "I won't do it. I won't put on another goddamned show. I won't desecrate the memory of all the people we lost by accepting another bullshit medal just to make these idiots feel better."

"Well then, you have a choice. You can do as you are ordered or you can have your resignation on my desk by the end of the week."

"Fine. Then that's what I'll do."

"Shepard, there's still so much to do. What you see as a stupid show, others see as a necessary morale building exercise to keep us all pulling in the same direction." Hackett paused and lowered his voice. "You know, there's no shame in talking to a professional. After everything that you've seen and everything that you've had to do…."

"You've seen my Psych Evals, sir, so don't lay that one on me."

"And we both know that you're smart enough to deceive any Eval out there if you want to. Everyone has a breaking point. It doesn't matter how tough a soldier you are."

"You'll have my resignation by the end of the week." Shepard said and then quickly cut the link.

That was it then. As long as she remained with the Alliance, they would always put these demands on her. Not as a soldier or even as an administrator but as a symbol, a figurehead, a living good luck talisman to keep the boogeymen away. At least the members of the Shepard Cult, as crazy as they were, knew that they were deifying Shepard. The other 'normal' people did the same thing without even realizing that they were doing it. They all wanted a piece of her as if that would somehow make all the pain and losses go away. As if she could make everything okay. Shepard had hoped that it would get better but it hadn't really. Shepard picked up her jacket and left her office early. Time to go home and think up a retirement plan.

Shepard was sitting on her coach, a drink in her hand. Shepard remembered what Miranda had said. Another friend, another loss. She had said that she couldn't imagine a normal life because she had never had one and simply didn't have that big an imagination. Shepard could relate to the sentiment. She had never had a normal life either. Shepard remembered a year or so ago when all she dreamed about was starting a quiet, normal life by marrying Liara and having children but Liara wasn't here. She was alone and not only was Liara not here but most of her close friends were gone as well.

She was pretty sure that she could find work doing something else, somewhere simply by using her fame. Or she could simply sell her time and her name and get more than enough money to live for the rest of her life without working another day. But then what? Shepard envisioned long days and nights with nothing and no one but a liquor bottle as a companion. As pathetic as it was, the Alliance was the only thing that she had left. It occurred to Shepard for not the first time, that the Savior of the Galaxy was a complete failure as a human being.


	28. Chapter 28

Aethyta sat at her desk, looking at a photo of Liara. She missed her but she considered herself lucky that at least she had been able to meet her daughter before everything went to hell. She had been able to do something for her. It didn't make up for all the years of absence but it was something. _If you are still alive somewhere, Little Wing, I wish you a long and happy life! _She knew that the chances of ever seeing her daughter again were slim and none. But there had been so much death, so much loss that all Aethyta could do was whatever small part she could to help rebuild whatever could be rebuilt. She was glad that she had stayed on Thessia after the fall, to make her last stand and fight to the death, because she had been there when it ended to help pick up the pieces.

She turned on her monitor to see if there had been any new developments and saw the headline: Galactic Savior goes renegade!_ Shepard, must be_. Aethyta read further. "Sources are reporting that galactic hero Commander Shepard has attacked an unarmed piano player on the Citadel. Bystanders are saying that it was an unprovoked attack. 'He was just sitting there playing on his piano and Shepard just went all crazy on him. Just went over there and wham! sent him flying', said a salarian on the scene. As of yet, there is no comment from the Interim Council or the Alliance military. Could it be that our hero is indoctrinated? Uh oh, we better hope not!" There is nothing that scared and hopeless people like better to forget their own problems than a celebrity and who was a bigger celebrity than Shepard?Every day, a new article came out and the rumors swirled. _Build up a hero and tear them down piece by piece just to make yourself feel better. _

Aethyta 's curiosity got the better of her and she turned to the extranet. She knew Shepard but really had no idea about her history beyond her military exploits. Born on Earth. An orphan. _She's alone. I know what that's like. _33 years old._ She's just a Goddess-damned kid!_ Asari children were not even considered adults by that age. She's a human but still so young. Way too young to have the weight of the galaxy on her shoulders. _What did I know when I was only 33? Jack and Shit! _Aethyta knew that Liara had loved Shepard and that Shepard had been her bondmate even though they never made it official. And she believed that Shepard had loved Liara too. Aethyta thought that there just might be something else that she could do for her daughter.

Shepard was on her fourth drink when the door buzzer sounded. Shepard rubbed her forehead. _What do they want now?_ Shepard considered not answering but instead reluctantly got up and answered the door._ Might as well get it over with, whoever it is. _She was surprised when she saw an asari matriarch standing in her doorway.

" Aethyta! What are you doing on the Citadel? I heard that you had survived the war but I thought you'd stay on Thessia. Can I get you a drink?"

"Sure. Oh, I'm just here to do this and that. I figured I'd come see the Savior of the Galaxy while I was here."

Shepard snorted. Shepard handed her a drink and they both sat on the couch. "I hear you played some part in getting your relay back up. How's it all coming?"

"Yeah, as it turns out, not all the matriarchs ignored me when I told them that we needed to get our heads out of our asses and start making our own relays. A secret, well-funded group had been working on it for years behind the Council's back."

"And good thing too. I'm not sure we would have been able to save the Citadel without it. That technology really helped with the repairs. Not to mention having the asari ride to the rescue mere weeks after the Battle for Earth."

"I hear that the Great Commander Shepard had to get the people around here to get off their asses after the reapers went down. That you were instrumental in saving the Citadel. As if saving the galaxy wasn't enough. Nice place you have here."

"It's a shithole but I don't need much. With so many people homeless, we have to be careful with every space."

"I've also started to hear that the cracks are starting to show in our Savior. Maybe drinking a little too much." Aethyta looked at the nearly empty bottle on the table. "Getting into fights, bullying people, just being very unsavior-like."

"Still the diplomat, I see. Is there a point coming or are you just here to give me a hard time?"

Aethyta paused for a moment before continuing. "You have to let her go. You need to move on. She isn't coming back and you have to face that. You have to get on with your life."

A flash of anger on Shepard's face. _Who is she to presume she knows how I feel_? "You don't know that! And how am I supposed to get on with my life when every day, people are still looking to me? Every person that I meet_ wants _something from me. Every goddamned person I pass in the hall looks at _me_ for hope. Get your fucking hope somewhere else! Leave me the fuck alone for once."

"You want my advice? Get in a ship and go to some backwater planet somewhere where nobody knows who you are and do what you want for a change."

_But Liara would come back here if she comes back at all. _Shepard considered for a moment and then looked down at her shoes, too embarrassed to meet Aethyta's eyes when asking her next question.

"With the asari meld, is there any kind of psychic connection that happens? That stays even after the meld ends?"

"Of course. I still feel Nezzi with me sometimes even though it's been decades since we were together." Aethyta considered what Shepard might really be asking. "It doesn't mean that Liara's still alive."

"But I can still feel her in my mind. It's so vivid. Like she is right there and I can almost reach out and touch her."

"You have to get over her. It's been over a year and not one word. Not a rumor even. Your ship probably blew up in the battle or in the shockwave like thousands of others and her with it. Even if she is alive somewhere, she could be on the other side of the galaxy where they won't have a working relay for years or ever." Aethyta lowered her voice and continued. "The meld can be a powerful thing. Addicting even. I suggest that you find some pretty, young asari girl and have her fuck your brains out. You'd have your pick. It isn't always about love. Hell, most of the time, it's not about love. It might help you. Make you feel alive again."

Shepard angrily got off the couch. "I don't want that!" The thought of someone besides Liara in her mind...it would make it so much worse.

"Well then, what do you want?"

Shepard couldn't answer that. She knew, but what she wanted, she couldn't have. _She's genuinely trying to help you._ Shepard understood that but it was too painful to continue. Shepard sat back down and changed the subject.

"How is Thessia? I mean, how is it really?"

"It's still pretty rough. Whole cities, just nothing but rubble. We are still finding decomposed bodies everywhere. Places where the ground still looks like it's been painted violet. I've seen death and war before but it was nothing compared to this. But, it's getting better every day. All any of us can do is focus on the future."

_If I had been quicker. If I had not made so many mistakes. If I had been more prepared. If I had pushed harder. Millions more would still be alive. _"I'm so sorry Aytheta", Shepard said softly, looking away.

Aethyta locked her eyes to Shepard's and reached out to take her hand. "Let me tell you something. We were a heartbeat away from extinction. Everyone and everything that we ever were. Completely wiped out. You _saved_ the asari! You saved everyone! I'm grateful to you and I will never forget that! Everyone should be on their knees thanking you. If you want to hit someone in the face, they should be grateful that they still have a face to hit. They should be lined up around the corner to let you hit them in the face."

Shepard took her hand away and turned her head so that Aethyta wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. _Not true. I killed so many. I let so many die. All the people I sacrificed! _Shepard closed her eyes to try to regain control of her emotions. Shepard considered her guest. _Does she even know what a hero Liara was? Why did I just think 'was'?_

_"_It's not true but thank you for saying it anyway. You do know who the real hero is, right? Do you know that it was Liara who found the plans for the Crucible? Without Liara, the Reapers would have won." _Didn't they win anyway? _It was hard to see any kind of victory in what happened. Survival maybe but victory?

Now it was Aethyta 's turn to get tears in her eyes. _My daughter. _"I always knew she was special."

"She saved my life more times than I can count", Shepard said.

"Say. Let me buy you dinner. I hear some of the restaurants have opened up again."

"I don't think that's such a good idea." Shepard held up her glass. "I think I've already had a few too many. I wouldn't want to start another incident."

"Don't worry, kid. I'll take care of you. No one's gonna mess with you with me around."

Shepard snorted. "Just promise me you won't hurt anyone. If I am seen with an asari matriarch and bodies start getting splattered, it's gonna make the news."

"I'll try to restrain myself."

Shepard grinned a little, "You're not coming on to me or anything, are you? Cuz that would be weird."

"Hah! If I came on to you, you'd know it. And believe me when I tell you that you couldn't handle a matriarch. Your brains would explode!"

Shepard chuckled lightly despite herself.

"Hah! Made you laugh!"


	29. Chapter 29

Shepard stood before the large, assembled crowd with her pressed uniform on and her newly-presented medal and Admiral's bars gleaming in the spotlight. There were people from every different race and every different planet. Demand for tickets was so high that there had to be a lottery. This meant that the price for scalped tickets had risen astronomically which skewed the audience to the more affluent but there were still plenty of people from more modest means who had won tickets but refused to sell them no matter how many credits they could have received for selling them. They all came expecting a celebration. They expected this to be an uplifting speech about their collective victory. They expected to hear a rousing speech about how bright their future was going to be and just how great they all were. Shepard had a different idea. The crowd quieted as Shepard began to speak.

"There is not a single person here, not a single person in the whole galaxy even who has not experienced loss because of the War. We all have wounds that have still not healed. We all have someone who was lost to us forever. We need to honor them by never forgetting their sacrifice. We must strive every day to be better people, to work together to piece together what was lost until we create for ourselves and our children a better, stronger, more peaceful galaxy where we are able to see beyond our superficial differences and recognize that we are all brothers and sisters. We defeated the reapers but victory is still to be won and it depends on us to make it happen."

Shepard paused. The whole demeanor of the crowd had changed. Instead of a barely restrained party mood, the mood had become much more somber. Some people had even started to cry.

"Back on Earth, in the United States in the Earth year 1861, we once had a deadly Civil War that killed millions and nearly tore apart that country. One of the great leaders, a man named Lincoln, made a speech to commemorate one of the battlefields. It was, and still is, considered one of the best speeches ever in Earth's history. The words seem apt and since I am a soldier and not an orator, I'd like to borrow some of those words now."

Shepard cleared her throat and began to speak, holding the paper in front of her but speaking mostly from memory.

"It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us - that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion - that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain."

The room was silent except for some people sobbing. Strangers, even those from different species, held hands or put a hand on the shoulder of the person in front of them in a show of support and compassion.

"Finally, I know we all have people who have been lost. It would take weeks to sound the names of all the people who sacrificed themselves so that we could all be standing here today. But if you would so indulge me, I would like to name the people that I knew who were lost. These people were my friends and comrades. They were from all different races and different home worlds. They all contributed to our defeat of the enemy."

And with that, Shepard began naming the people that she had known who had died in the five years since she first became aware of the reaper threat back on Eden Prime. She sounded the names in roughly chronological order, occasionally stopping briefly to take a drink of water or to regain her composure.

"Richard L. Jenkins" "Nihlus Kryik" "Ashley Williams" "Matriarch Benezia" "Helen M Lowe"..."Thane Krios" "Mordin Solus" "Legion" "David Anderson"… "Miranda Lawson"

Shepard finished saying all the names up to the crew of the Normandy during the Battle for Earth. The newest casualties and the freshest wounds. Shepard pulled back her shoulders and fought back her tears, determined not to dishonor their sacrifice by breaking down.

"Jeff Moreau" "Edi" "Karen Chakwas" ..."Kaidan Alenko" "Tali'Zorah vas Normandy" "Garrus Vakarian"

Despite her best efforts, a few tears silently fell down her cheeks and her voice cracked as she voiced the names. There was only one name remaining on the list and Shepard did not know whether she could say it without completely falling apart. By this time, seemingly the entire audience was in tears, silently thinking of their own losses or saying prayers. Shepard closed her eyes and then willed herself to say the final name.

"Liara T'Soni" Shepard swallowed hard, the tears streaming down her cheeks now. She took another drink of water to try to dislodge the lump in her throat so that she could speak again.

"I know that there are many more names so I'd like to leave the stage now but invite anyone who would like to come up here and share the names of their own friends and loved ones and comrades who were lost."

A turian was the first one to the stage and an orderly line formed behind him. Shepard left the stage and Hackett met her backstage as more names were sounded.

"Not the speech I was looking for but I think it will do. Thank you, Admiral. I know that that could not have been easy for you to do."

Hackett put a hand on Shepard's shoulder briefly before Shepard turned and walked away, needing to be alone.


	30. Chapter 30

Shepard got home from seeing Aethyta off at one of the docks. Aethyta was finally making the trip home to Thessia after staying on the Citadel for almost a month. Shepard had the sneaking suspicion that Aethyta had been hanging around the Citadel to 'babysit' her but when Shepard had confronted her about it, Aethyta had insisted that Shepard was a deluded narcissist and that she was there to take care of her own business concerns. As much as Shepard hated to admit it and had acted annoyed when Aethyta kept showing up, unannounced, to drag her to lunch or dinner or shopping (because her off-duty clothing and home decor showed that she obviously could not take care of herself and that her taste was in her ass), Shepard was going to miss her. Her presence had been especially welcome after the Memorial speech. Shepard had returned home, needing to be alone to mourn, but after a few hours in the dark apartment, the demons had pressed in and the pain became almost excruciating. Aethyta had broken into her apartment after she ignored the buzzer and went on and on for hours about some of her exploits from her maiden years. It had been completely inappropriate and ridiculous but it had been exactly what Shepard had needed.

Now, she was alone once again. Shepard entered her kitchen without turning on the lights and poured herself a drink. She was just about to take the drink over to her couch when she heard a sound coming from the area near her bed. Her senses came alive and even though no more sounds could be heard, she could sense that she was not alone in her apartment. She did not wear a sidearm during her normal workday but ever the soldier, she had concealed handguns throughout her apartment at secret locations. She casually opened one of the compartments and took out her gun. She then put down her drink and moved towards the sleeping area of her studio apartment.

She could not see anything in the darkened apartment. As she said 'lights', she simultaneously hit her omni-tool to bring up shields and pointed the gun in the direction of her bed. Shepard could not have been more surprised to see not any dangerous intruder but two naked asari on her bed, both now screaming when they saw the gun pointed at them. One of the women reflexively threw out a bolt of biotics at Shepard but thankfully, her shield took the brunt of the hit. Shepard pointed her gun up at the ceiling. There were plenty of asari assassins but she had never heard of any that killed in the buff.

Finally, one of the asari came back to her senses and smiled. She got off the bed and moved to Shepard seductively. Her partner soon followed until both asari were pressing themselves against Shepard's body, running their hands over her. _Damn that Aethyta! _Despite herself, Shepard started to feel a stirring in her lower abdomen. It would be easy to just lose herself to the sensations. To forget about everything that had happened, if only for a few hours.

Shepard resisted. She didn't quite know why. It's not like she was cheating on Liara. Shepard was starting to accept that Liara was gone. She also knew that Liara would encourage her to do whatever she needed to feel happy again. She could almost hear Liara say 'Do whatever you need to, my love'. But Shepard had engaged in this type of 'therapy' before, after she lost her best friend in the gang and after Akuze. At best, the encounters had left her feeling numb, at worst they made her feel hollow inside and that was before she had experienced what love really felt like.

Now, she knew what she had been missing and she knew what she had lost. Throwing herself into a casual, empty, temporary relationship was not going to heal her. It was not going to make her feel happy. She made a promise to Liara that she would do everything that she could to find happiness again. Liara would not get the chance to find that happiness so Shepard owed it to her to find it so that her sacrifice was not in vain. To make it all worth it. This was not the way to do that. Shepard pulled herself away from the two women.

"I'm sorry, ladies. You are both lovely but I just can't."

"Oh, I bet you can", one of the asari said as she moved towards Shepard again and threw her arms around her neck. Shepard gently but firmly removed the woman's arms.

"No. Please leave. Both of you."

The woman sighed angrily and started dressing.

"Well, that was a complete waste of time. That bitch better pay us!" Shepard heard one of the asari say to the other as they left the apartment. "Yeah, some Savior she is. A compete dud, if you ask me!", the other asari responded.

A couple days later, Shepard received a message from Aethyta: _Thanks a lot, Shepard. The Girls were willing to give you a go for free but then you had to go reject them and now I have to pay them. Extra because of their hurt egos. They are not cheap! Let me give you some advice. Time heals all wounds but until enough time has passed, you need to keep yourself busy and having sex is one of the BEST ways in the galaxy to keep yourself busy. Just let me know if you change your mind._

About a week later, Shepard was in her apartment late at night, going over reports, when she heard the buzzer to her apartment go off once again. She had no idea who it might be. It was too late for it to be one the reporters who had somehow found out where she lived. Shepard opened the door to find another asari matriarch at her door.

"Are they having a sale on flights from Thessia to the Citadel or something?"

"I'm sorry, Shepard?", Samara gave her a quizzical look. "Is this a bad time, should I come back later?"

Shepard smiled and squeezed Samara's hand. "No, I just had another asari visitor not too long ago. Come on in."

"I apologize for not messaging ahead but I felt the need to see you in person and I was not certain when I would arrive."

"Not a problem, Samara. It's good to see you. Can I get you something?"

"A drink would be most welcome. It has been a long journey. Perhaps some wine?"

"You got it. Please make yourself comfortable. Have a seat."

Samara sat on Shepard's couch until Shepard returned with a drink for both of them. Shepard sat down on the other end of the couch, her body turned towards Samara.

"So how are things, Samara? How is Falere?"

Samara couldn't help but smile at the mention of her daughter.

"Very well, Shepard. She will always be an Ardat-Yakshi but she has proven herself trustworthy. She has been given much freedom and much responsibility in the new monastery. She is also able to visit Thessia, with supervision, of course. She is…happy, I think. As happy as anyone with her condition can be. As happy as anyone who has experienced such lose can be."

Shepard smiled. "I'm glad to hear that, Samara. I think she is one of the most remarkable people that I have ever met. She didn't give in to temptation and run away when she could have. She was able to survive alone for all those months. You must be very proud."

Samara returned the smile. "I am very proud as unseemly as that might be for a Justicar. And I agree that she is a remarkable person."

"Have you decided what you will do now?"

"Do you mean, will I continue to follow a Code dedicated to a Goddess who never existed?"

"You don't know that. Just because it appears that the protheans interacted with the asari in the past doesn't mean that the entity that the asari saw as their goddess was a prothean or that she never existed."

"But you don't believe in the Goddess or any other god, do you?"

"Irrelevant."

"Regardless, it appears that the Code is no longer valid. The handful of my sisters and I who survived the war, are the last of a dying breed. The asari no longer want or need the Code or the Justicars."

"I don't know if I agree with you there. I've read about the unprecedented spike in crime on Thessia and on the other asari worlds. People are desperate and hurting. They need someone to believe in. They need justice. They need protection."

"But again, you never believed in the Code or our form of justice."

"It's just very different from what I'm used to. I believe in more graduated forms of justice. I believe that you cannot judge and execute a person based on a single action except in extreme circumstances." Shepard wondered briefly what Samara would think of her if she knew the decision she made on the Citadel. She wondered how the Code would judge her. Not well, she imagined. Would the Code excuse the murder of billions of 'innocents' to save trillions more? Would any code? Would her own? Shepard pushed the dark thoughts to the furthest reaches of her mind once again.

"You are a product of the modern world where everything is seen as grey. The ancient world was more black and white."

"The world hasn't changed and neither have people. Only our understanding of both has changed."

"Perhaps. But it was the certainty of the Code that allowed me to sleep well at night despite my often harsh actions. A luxury that I no longer have now that the doubt is there." Samara was silent for a moment before she continued. "But I am not here to discuss the Code. I came because I could see that my friend was not herself. I suspect that I am not the only one who no longer sleeps soundly. Would you allow me to join with you, Shepard?"

Samara smiled briefly at the look of panic that crossed Shepard's face. "Forgive me. You are a human and I should have been clearer. I only wish to share a memory with you. I will not intrude upon your thoughts."

Shepard visibly relaxed. "Oh. You mean the gift kind of meld?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

Samara could see that Shepard was still nervous.

"Relax, Shepard. And you don't have to agree if you don't want to do it. I won't be offended."

"No. I'm honored that you would do that with me. It's just that I haven't shared my consciousness with anyone since…" Shepard couldn't finish her sentence.

"Since you were last with your bondmate? I know how powerful that bond can be and I know how devastating it can be when your partner is lost. But there is always hope, Shepard. May I show you?"

Shepard nodded. Samara took Shepard's hand and her eyes went black. "Embrace Eternity"

Suddenly, Shepard felt herself sharing Samara's thoughts. She briefly felt her doubt, her fears but also her happiness. Then Samara directed them both to a specific memory and Shepard became Samara in the memory.

_Samara moved silently through the darkened hall. She felt her fear increase with every step. She was almost through the entire monastery that remained standing and there was still no sign of her daughter anywhere. She reached out with her senses but heard nothing, saw nothing, felt nothing. I left her here! How could I leave my last daughter here to die alone? She was innocent. She never did anything wrong and she deserved my protection! She was walking quickly now, almost running. Finally, she reached the only other exit to the structure that remained. Her daughter simply wasn't there. Samara sat down on the steps. She had long since forgotten how to cry but the pain was almost unbearable. Her entire family now gone. Her entire life wasted, devoted to a Goddess who probably never existed. She failed to protect any of her children. Her betrayal to her dead bondmate, the only person she had ever loved, was complete. She had failed to protect any of them. Suddenly, a soft sound from the direction of the forest. 'Mother?' Samara lifted her head and saw her daughter, a basket in her arms. Samara forgot her reserve, forgot her vow of solitude and ran to her daughter, enveloping her in a hug that knocked the basket of gathered mushrooms out of her daughter's arms. 'You came back for me?' her daughter asked. 'Of course I did, My Daughter.' Falere hugged her mother back and started crying. _

Shepard slowly felt the meld dissolve and she slowly felt her own identity return. Tears were streaming down her smiling face as she reopened her eyes to look at her friend.

"Thank you for sharing that with me, Samara. I'm so happy for you."

"That moment almost didn't happen. It was only able to happen because of you, Shepard. You stopped me from killing myself and you helped me to see other possibilities."

"I'm glad that I was able to do one good thing anyway."

"Much more than one. There were reunions like that all over the galaxy because of your commitment and your actions. I know that you are tortured by the things that you've had to do and the people that you've lost but take heart, my friend. One never knows what the future brings."


	31. Chapter 31

Shepard paced back and forth in front of the monitor, getting more and more agitated. She could not believe this was happening to her. For not the first time since the war's end, she got the feeling like she was never meant to have survived the war. Now it appeared that 'the people' would get their monument to martyrdom regardless of whether the martyr was still alive or not which defeated the whole martyr thing to the best of Shepard's understanding.

"Statues are for dead people, sir. Isn't that a rule? Isn't that a law? No statue shall be built unless the person memorialized is already dead so they can't turn around and I don't know, have an affair with a varren or something, thereby calling into question our good sense in memorializing the pervert in the first place?"

Hackett looked at Shepard with a confused expression at Shepard's last sentence.

"I told you Shepard. It's out of my hands. There's nothing I can do. The good people of the galaxy want the damn statue so the governments of the galaxy are giving them what they want." Hackett paused. "I can see why it would be a little...disconcerting to have a statue of oneself at the place where one lives and works but it is what it is."

"It's not disconcerting, sir. It's goddamn creepy. And it's going to be right on the Presidium. I'll have to see the damn thing on my way to work every damn day. And you know that every time I get an award or something, there's a backlash. A percentage of the people get sick of me so then some horrible story comes out about some horrible thing I did, regardless of whether it's true or not, just to feed that need."

Hackett smiled at Shepard. "Just make sure that you don't give them any more ammunition and that should take care of itself. Hackett out."

Shepard punched at her monitor again until Tevos came into view. She was chewing and just managed to swallow whatever it was that she was eating before she spoke.

"Shepard, I've only got twenty minutes for lunch as it is. Make it quick."

"I need you to stop this stupid statue from being built."

"As you know, the Council had nothing to do with it. It came directly from the governments that we represent. Just see it as the compliment that it is."

"It's goddamn unseemly and you know it. I'm still alive! Statues are for dead people. Not for people who take a shit every morning."

Tevos rolled her eyes. "I'm so glad that your speech was much more eloquent than you usually are. You touched a lot of people with your speech, Shepard and this is a response to that. You should be pleased with yourself. You should be pleased that you helped so many people start to heal."

"Come on, Tevos. You could at least delay it for me. Tie it up in red tape so that it isn't built for years or decades."

Tevos shook her head. "Can't do it, Shepard. There is too much critical mass behind it. Think of it this way, you are still young and you will make a good-looking statue. I had the 'pleasure' of meeting the oldest living human on the Citadel yesterday. She was only 168 years old and she looked like one of those varren from Earth. What's the name of it again? A Sharpie or something? Goddess, all that loose skin and wrinkles. It was hard to even look at her. At least she still had her mind and wasn't drooling at me."

Tevos shuddered as Shepard crossed her arms over her chest.

"Remind me again how the asari are supposed to be so much less superficial than the other races in the galaxy. How you are all just about beautiful minds."

Tevos smiled brightly. "I'm sorry that I cannot help you, Admiral. Have a pleasant day... while you still can." Tevos chuckled as she cut the connection.

Shepard sighed and sat back in her chair after Tevos shimmered out of view. Shepard had contacted all her friends and associates in high places. Maybe she needed to look lower. Shepard punched at her monitor again. The slightly-scowling face of Aria T'Loak appeared on the screen.

"What do you need, Shepard? You want me to rough up some piano players for you?"

"Hilarious, Aria. I need to ask a favor."

"Of course you do. I can barely wait to hear what the Great Admiral Shepard wants from the lowly, misunderstood Queen of Omega."

"I need you to send some people to the Citadel to destroy a statue for me."

For the briefest of moments, a faint look of surprise crossed Aria's face. "Any particular one? Or do you just not like statuary in general? Is this another burning hatred of yours? Like the piano player thing?"

"It's not up yet but I need you to send some people to destroy my statue. I can get them on the Citadel but then I want them off the Citadel as soon as it's done. And it goes without saying that I don't want anyone or any other property damaged in any way."

"Why do you need my help? Aren't you the Commander of the Citadel or something? Can't you stop it from being built?"

"That's right, I'm the Commander of the Citadel, not the Queen of the Citadel!" Shepard threw her arms up in perfect pantomime of Aria's movement when they had first met.

"That's a pity. If you were, you wouldn't be having this problem."

"Are you going to do it or not, Aria?"

"You have yet to explain what I would get out of this arrangement. Why would I do such a thing?"

"I don't know. Because we're friends? Besides, I would think that you would love the opportunity to literally burn me in effigy. But then, it will probably be made of stone so you'd really be exploding me in effigy."

"I don't have friends, Shepard. You'll have to do better than that."

"Okay, how about a simple business transaction. I give you credits, you do this for me. With the economy the way it is, business can't be as good as it was before the war. Everyone wants more credits."

"Fortunately, my business enterprises are largely depression-proof. In fact, people tend to want to purchase the services that I provide even more when things are horrible."

"Just name your price, Aria."

"Okay. A million credits."

"You're fucking insane. I'm an Alliance soldier. Where would I get that kind of money?"

"No, insane is someone who wants to blow up their own statue. And if you were smart, you'd take bribes like every other Commander of anything and then you'd have plenty of credits. Okay, I'll tell you my offer. The rebuilding of the Citadel takes plenty of raw materials and I've got my new metal mining operation in full swing. You make sure that I get that new contract with the Citadel and your little problem goes away."

Shepard just folded her arms across her chest and sighed. "You know that's not going to happen. You can bid through one of your fake corporations just like everyone else. You know what? You're starting to piss me off. Just forget I even said anything."

"You're too tense, Shepard. You need a vacation. If you come out to Omega, I'll let you sample the services here and I guarantee, you'll forget all about the War and…everything else. As for the statue, 10,000 credits plus expenses."

Any other normal person would have said 'I'm sorry to hear about your bondmate. Let me know if there is anything I can do' but this was not a normal person. But Shepard realized it was as close as Aria would ever get to expressing such sympathies and for once, she was being genuine.

"Thanks Aria. I'll let you know the when and the how later."

A few weeks later Shepard, in her capacity as Commander of the Citadel, had to sit through the whole unveiling ceremony once her statue was completed. She was then required to endure endless photos being taken of her and her graven image together. Hackett had tried to get her to say a few words but after Shepard had threatened to just say 'I hate the fucking thing' in front of the cameras, the idea was dropped. The next morning, Shepard was well-pleased when she flew her skycar over her statue and saw only smoking ruins and the lights of CSec skycars. Sometimes, it helped to have friends in low places.


	32. Chapter 32

A couple months after the Memorial speech, Shepard was pleasantly surprised to receive a call from Jack who was stationed at the new Grissom Academy. It had been months since Jack and the rest of the instructors and students made their way to the newly-rebuilt station and Shepard had been anxious to receive word about how things were progressing. Shepard smiled broadly at Jack.

"So how is the head of the biotics division doing at the new digs?"

"Busy. Half our time has been spent taking care of the little things like working fucking toilets that the fucking engineers and workers apparently couldn't be bothered with when they threw this place back together."

"Welcome to the world of lowest-bidder government contracts, Jack. Just consider yourself lucky that life support is working."

Jack looked nervous and was obviously not in the mood for pleasantries or small talk, not that Shepard could ever remember a time when Jack had been in the mood for either of those things.

"I'm not calling you to talk about the shitters. I…I need to ask you a favor."

"Ask away, Jack."

Jack looked away nervously and didn't speak right away. When she did finally speak, she appeared to be looking not at Shepard but at some point over her shoulder.

"Look. I'm getting married and I need someone to stand up for me. I was hoping if you weren't too busy..."

Shepard looked at Jack with her mouth open, unable to process the words that had just left her friend's mouth.

"You're getting married?!"

"Yeah, I'm getting married. Why are you so surprised? It's not like I'm ugly or nothing."

"No! It's not that. I just didn't think that you were the type to even date, never mind, the marrying kind."

"Fuck you! I didn't know that you had to be a certain kind to get married."

"And you want me to be your Maid of Honor?!"

"Whatever the fuck it's called. Look, just forget that I said anything..."

"Jack, you give me the date and time and I'll be there. I'll even wear one of those ugly bridesmaid dresses if you want. Who's the lucky..." Shepard stopped before she finished her sentence. She had heard so many rumors about Jack's prodigious sexual conquests that she had no idea what Jack's gender preferences were or if she even had any.

Jack rolled her eyes. "Fuck you again, Shepard. His name is Robert and he's an instructor at the Academy. We're gonna do it on the Citadel because he has family on Earth that want to come and they can't get out here. We don't know when because we haven't even found a room yet to hold the damn thing in."

"You just name it, Jack, and I'll make it happen. Council chambers, in that park by the lake on the Presidium, just name it, name the date and it's done."

"You can do that? You can get us in the actual council chambers?"

Shepard smirked. "I'm the fucking savior of the galaxy, Jack. I'll even get Tevos to marry you, if you want."

"Fuck, I've always hated that bitch. I'll find someone else to do it. But it would be sweet to be able to do it in the Council chambers. Like a big fuck you to those assholes who were so clueless about the collectors and the reapers. Maybe in a month?"

"Done. And let me know if you or your students or his family need a place to stay while they're here. I'll get them all hotel rooms gratis."

"Thanks Shepard. I gotta go. I'll send you more details later."

"Wait! Don't you have a picture of this stud that you can send me?"

Jack just rolled her eyes again and cut the link. Shepard couldn't stop grinning. Jack, Subject Zero, self-proclaimed badass bitch and psychotic biotic was getting married. Shepard tried to imagine the man strong enough and brave enough or crazy enough to get Jack to settle down but she came up blank. Maybe a big, burly marine? But Jack had said that he was an instructor and there were no regular combat instructors at the Academy. A big, burly, biotic marine then. Maybe someone even as strong as Jack in the biotics department though she didn't think that any such human existed. Shepard couldn't wait to meet this man whoever he was.

Shepard was waiting outside Jack's hotel room, anxious to see the bride and to make sure she was ready for the ceremony. Mercifully, Jack had decided not to go traditional with her bridesmaids and Shepard had been allowed to wear anything she wanted to the occasion so she just wore her 'little black dress'. It was especially merciful since Jack had decided that everything else about the wedding would be as traditional as possible. She rang the bell once again and a slight man in his early thirties answered. The man stood maybe 5'6" and looked like he weighed no more a hundred and forty pounds soaking wet. Wedding planner, Shepard decided as she entered the room. The man held out his hand to Shepard.

"The famous Admiral Shepard. I've heard a lot of great things about you. I'm Robert Calavicci , Jennifer's fiancé."

Shepard stood stunned for a moment, too shocked to shake the proffered hand. After a moment, she recovered and took his hand.

"It's nice to meet you, Robert." Shepard remembered the friendly words of advice that she had planned to give the big, burly, biotics instructor that she had expected to meet. "You're an instructor at Grissom?"

The man smiled at Shepard as she continued to hold his hand. "Yes. I teach advanced physics to some of the older students."

Shepard increased the pressure on Robert's hand and leaned in closer to the man. "I'm sure that Jack has told you about her background so I'm sure that I don't need to tell you that she's had enough shit in her life."

Robert's eyes got wider as the pressure increased once again on his hand. "Yes. It was inexcusable what they did to Jennifer."

Shepard smiled and leaned in closer still, increasing her grip even more. She seemed to tower over the man even though she was just a few inches taller. "I'm glad we agree on that. And I'm sure that you understand that as her friend, I want to make sure that she doesn't go through any more shit in the future. So, just to make ourselves clear, if I ever hear that you've hurt her in any way or laid so much as a single finger on her in anger and I will break every bone in your body. I'll then kill you slowly and feed you to the varren in a pit on Tuchanka so that no one ever finds your body. Not necessarily in that order." Shepard pulled back and smiled at Robert even brighter. "Are we clear, Robert?"

Robert was grimacing and tears had welled up in his eyes in response to the pressure on his hand. He wondered vaguely how much force was needed to break a finger and how many pounds per square inch of pressure was currently being applied to his fingers at that very moment. Through gritted teeth he replied, "Crystal clear, Admiral."

Shepard released Robert's hand, smiled at him once again and said, "Again, it was nice to meet you, Robert" as she playfully slapped his shoulder. Shepard then turned to go find Jack in the bedroom of the hotel suite as Robert flexed his fingers to make sure none of them were broken.

Later, Robert and Jack were dancing at their reception when he saw Shepard watching them. Both of them were graceful dancers and it was actually through ballroom dancing lessons at the Academy that the two started getting close. Shepard smiled and waved. Robert pulled away from Jack slightly so he could look into her eyes.

"I don't think that your old Commander likes me very much."

Jack looked at her new husband quizzically. "Shepard? Shepard likes everyone unless they are a complete asshole. Why do you say that?"

"She almost broke my hand and she told me that if I ever laid so much as a finger on you in anger, that she'd break every bone in my body and then feed me to varren."

Jack's eyes misted for a moment. "Aw. She said that? That's so sweet. She always was a big softy."

Robert looked at his wife again. "Did you hear what I just said? She threatened to kill me!"

"Don't be such a pussy. She's just a little protective of people she cares about. That was just her way of saying welcome to the family."

"I'm not sure how comfortable I am as a man personally knowing two women who can kill me before I even have the chance to scream."

Jack smiled at her husband before leaning in to kiss him deeply. "You don't need to worry about Shepard. She only hurts people when they give her reason to. Now, the psychotic biotic, on the other hand, might hurt you if you leave the damn toilet seat up one more time."

Robert only smiled at his wife and pulled her in closer. "You promise?", he asked as he twirled her around the dance floor once again.

Shepard sat watching the happy couple when Kahlee Sanders sat down next to her at the table. She had a datapad in her hand that she slid over to Shepard.

"Here are those files of David's that you asked me for. He asked me to hold onto them during the war. Are you going to tell me yet why you want them?"

Shepard smiled at Kahlee. She liked the woman but seeing her was a reminder of Anderson. His death, and her guilt over it, was still an unhealed wound.

"I'm afraid that's classified. I'm going to attempt to do something that I've never done before and I'm not sure that I'll be able to pull it off."

"Oooh. Sounds intriguing. Now you have to tell me."

"Well, before the invasion of Earth, Anderson had been working with a reporter on a biography and since he was never able to finish it, I thought I'd give it a try. The only problem is, I've never written anything longer than a mission report and I'm in way over my head."

"David would have liked that. He was never that big on articles or books about himself but I think he'd be thrilled to see something like that from someone who knew him. Someone he cared about. What made you decide to do something like that? There are plenty of books about him already."

Shepard had read some of the books about Anderson and none of them did him justice. It bothered her that everyone made such a big deal about her and her accomplishments without giving Anderson the credit that he was due. He was the first human councilor, the real first human Spectre and on a personal level, without him, there literally never would have been a Commander Shepard.

"They don't give him the credit that he is due. Without him, Saren would have succeeded and the reapers would have invaded years before we had even discovered the Crucible. It would have been over right there. He was also there with me at the very end and helped to fire the Crucible. All I ever hear about is me. I'm going to change that if I can."

Just then, Robert came up to the table, eyeing Shepard nervously. He held out his arm.

"Can I interest either of you beautiful ladies to a dance?"

Shepard laughed and waved her hand. "I'm hopeless, I'm afraid. Just ask your wife. But maybe Ms. Sanders?"

"How can I say no to the best dancer at the Academy?" Sanders said as she stood up and took his arm. She looked back over her shoulder, smiling and said "Shepard, there is a folder in there that you have to take a look at. It's marked 'special'."

When Shepard returned to her apartment later that evening, she didn't know what to feel so she decided that she needed to not feel anything. She quickly threw off her dress and put on an old t-shirt. She poured herself a large drink and sat down on her couch. She was glad to see Jack so happy. If anyone deserved it, it was Jack. But Shepard couldn't help but think of all the people who should have been there but weren't. Miranda, Jacob, Thane, Zaeed. They all knew Jack but they were all gone. It didn't help seeing Kahlee again, thinking about the second chances that she and Anderson never got. Shepard remembered the datapad that Kahlee had given her and the mysterious 'special' folder that she had mentioned.

Her curiosity got the better of her and she opened the folder. What she saw completely stunned her. The file contained pictures, small videos and articles, all about her. Admiral David Anderson, hero, tough-as-nails N7, fearless leader of the resistance on Earth and all-around badass Marine, had kept a virtual scrapbook about her. She scrolled back through the files until she got to the first one. It was a small article from her days at the Alliance Academy, back when she had been a clueless, nineteen year old kid, that stated simply that she had passed her first year, had broken the Academy's obstacle course record and was moving on to her second year. Shepard put down the datapad, buried her face in her couch and cried.


	33. Chapter 33

Shepard was not having a good day. She was touring the newest area of the wards to re-open on the Citadel and everything was going wrong. _How are we supposed to move people in here when the lights won't even stay on? _She walked over to the Engineer in charge.

"What's going on in here? Why do these damn lights keep flickering?"

"Sorry, sir. It is requiring more power than we realized to get everything running. We are adding more capacity now."

"Well, it better be done quick. People are already starting to move in." Shepard watched as ever-growing masses of people were moving into the area, luggage and personal items in tow.

"That's part of the problem, sir. There was a mix-up and we were told that only Sections A &amp; B would be occupied today."

Shepard spoke into her omnitool.

"Lieutenant, we need more engineers in the lower Zakera wards. I don't care if we have to get them up out of their bunks. Just get them here now!"

"Aye, aye, ma'am!", came back the almost immediate response.

Shepard was turning to leave towards Section C to see the mess there first-hand when a civilian came up to her, her eyes pleading.

_Here we go_, Shepard thought.

"Commander Shepard. I mean Admiral Shepard, my Baby ran away. I think she is in one of the ducts."

"How long ago? How do you know that she's in the ducts?"

"About 15 minutes ago. No one will help me. I saw her run into the duct when the Engineer left the grate open. Please help me! She's only two years old!"

_A pressing problem but she should be safe in there until I can find someone to go in after her. As a matter of fact, she's probably safer in there than out here in this chaos_. "I'll get someone to go in after her as soon as possible."

"Please, she's afraid of the dark." Shepard could see how it might be scary for a child to be in there especially with the lights flickering.It would be dark in there even with the lights fully on. _I'll get an engineer to do it. One of those idiots left the grate off with all these people around in the first place. _But when Shepard turned around to try to tag one of the engineers, the lights starting flickering again. The engineers were all needed here.With a sigh, Shepard turned to the civilian.

"Okay, show me where."

Shepard was crawling past her fourth junction and was starting to get concerned. The floor and walls of the ducts were filthy, black with dirt and soot still there from the explosion._ I hope I don't get lost in here myself. How fast can this kid crawl? How are people supposed to breathe when they are breathing air that comes through these ducts? _Shepard made a mental note to have the engineers thoroughly clean out all the ducts in the area. All of it should have been taken care of long before today. Shepard was trying to bring up the schematics for the duct system where she was located when she heard movement up ahead. Shepard continued crawling towards the sound while still searching for the right map with one hand. _If I'm right, there is a dead-end up ahead and unless this kid can climb straight up a metal duct, her little adventure will soon be over. _Shepard rounded the last corner and was startled to see two glowing green eyes staring at her. 

_A goddamned cat? You have got to be shitting me_. Shepard tried to dodge the best she could in the tight space as the cornered, frightened animal hurtled towards her. When Shepard finally managed to crawl back out of the duct, the cat and the woman were nowhere to be found. The Engineers had at least managed to get the lights to stay on. Shepard found the Engineer in charge again. Shepard could see by the look on his face that she looked scary.

"Yeah, I'm filthy because I've been crawling through those ducts. You need to thoroughly clean all of them. There's no telling what kind of health issues people will have here breathing in that stuff."

"The problem, Admiral, is that the cleaning robots that we ordered from Earth still have not arrived. It would take way too long for people to do it manually."

"Agreed. I'll see what I can do." Shepard punched at her omnitool. "Lieutenant, I need to know what happened to the cleaning robots that the Engineers ordered." No response. "Lieutenant?" Still no response. Shepard felt herself getting annoyed. "Lieutenant!" Finally, Shepard received a response. "Ah, Admiral...we have a situation here. I think you better get back here right away, ma'am."

"What is it, Lieutenant?"

"We're not sure yet, Admiral. I think you need to get down here."

Shepard knew that her assistant was the nervous sort but she was a very intelligent woman and she knew how busy Shepard was. She would not ask Shepard to come back to Central Operations unless it was important.

"I'm on my way." Shepard turned towards the Engineer. "I'll find you those robots. Once they get here, I want you to get started on the cleaning right away." Shepard held out her omnitool and punched at it again. "Here, if there is anything else that you need to get this ward operational, contact me directly."

"Aye, aye. Thank you Admiral."

Shepard jumped in her skycar and sped away from the ward, wondering what catastrophe awaited her at Central Operations. When she arrived, she jumped out of her skycar and jogged through the door. Once inside, she overheard a word that made her stop dead in her tracks. Normandy. She saw her assistant turn to motion her over to where a group of people were talking excitedly. She jogged over to the systems operation's board.

"Situation?"

"Ahhh ma'am. We are receiving a transponder ident from a ship that is calling itself Normandy."

"Hail them."

"I'm sorry, ma'am. We have been unable to establish vocal communications. The transponder message says that their communications are down."

"Do the transponder codes match Alliance codes?"

"They don't match the current codes. We are still researching what they were…"

"Two years ago." Shepard finished the sentence. "Anything from sensors yet? Has Alliance Command been informed? We need to scramble fighters and get eyes on."

"They are just now passing by the Oort Cloud, Admiral. Outer sensors show only a smaller size ship operating at FTL speeds. No details. They are coming in from a direction outside of normal travel lanes. They did not come in through the mass relay. And Alliance Command is scrambling fighters stationed on Mars right now. It will be another 20 minutes or so before they have a visual."

Shepard moved to stand over an officer seated at one of the secured terminals.

"Anything on those old codes yet?"

"Still searching. So much of our hardware was destroyed during the war that we lost many of the old codes. Searching backups now."

Shepard paced a few times. There were three possibilities. Someone was trying to sneak into the system using old codes for some nefarious reason; some sick fuck had a really bad sense of humor; or perhaps the least likely of all, after almost two years without one word, the Normandy was returning home. Shepard tried not to even think about or hope for, the third possibility.

"If this is someone's idea of a joke, I will be conducting the interrogation personally." Shepard said darkly.

"Roger that, Admiral and get in a shot for me too. Still searching backup databanks. Ah…wait. Here we go." The Officer turned to smile at Shepard. "They match, sir. You don't suppose that it is really.."

Before the Officer could finish his sentence, Shepard had turned and walked back over to one of the other stations.

"How long before they get here?"

"At current speeds, it will be about an hour thirty, ma'am."

"Listen up, everyone. I don't want one word of this leaving this room. From this point forward, we are on information lock-down. If any press contacts us, we tell them that we are conducting classified preparedness drills and that no further information is available. Chief?"

"Yes ma'am'?" The on-duty Alliance Marine guard snapped to attention.

"I want a full honor guard ready to go in an hour. I want them equipped with live ammo and ready to deal with friend or foe. Is that understood?"

"Aye aye, ma'am. We'll be ready for anything." The Marine saluted and then turned on his heel to leave Operations.

"And remember to be discreet, Chief." Shepard called after the retreating Marine.

Shepard turned back to the operations board.

"What working dock do we have available that is the furthest away from those used in normal operations?"

"Dock D 24 is now operational, Admiral, but it hasn't been used since the war."

Shepard remembered docking there on many occasions over two years previously. It was away from the docks currently used and far away from the civilian hubs.

"That's where they will dock when they get here." Shepard addressed her assistant. "Lieutenant, I want you to work on getting updated files on all crewmen last assigned to the Normandy. I want to know the status of all known family members. I want their current status, last known location and contact information."

"Aye, aye Admiral." Lieutenant Astrea looked overwhelmed.

"Do the best you can. I know it's a lot of information to gather in 90 minutes. And have the names of the most recent Normandy crew removed from the Memorial Wall, just in case."

The Lieutenant turned and started running. Shepard then turned to another Officer at the operations board.

"Get me the head of C-Sec and patch it through to my office. I want an update as soon as those fighters have eyes on. And keep trying to establish communications."

"Aye, aye, Admiral."

Shepard sat in her office waiting for the Head of C-Sec to be hailed. Relations between the Alliance and what was left of C Sec had been strained since the war. The Alliance had insisted on taking over direct control of the Citadel after the war and C Sec and the interim council had been trying to change that ever since. With the Citadel now orbiting Earth, the Alliance government had insisted that since it was their responsibility to save it and get it operational again, that they had to take direct control as that was the only way to get things done. And since Shepard was already on the Citadel and had the most trust with the other races, she had been put in charge of the whole damn mess right after she left the hospital.

The turian in charge of C-Sec flickered to life before Shepard.

"What can I do for you, Admiral?"

"We have a situation, Executor. It appears that the Normandy has returned and will be docking at our station in about 75 minutes. I would like to request some assistance in crowd control."

"I've already heard the rumors. It will, no doubt, be a circus but I'm not sure that I can spare any men right now with the new Ward sections coming back on-line today. I am understaffed already."

"I'm sure that you can find some bodies somewhere, Executor. I'm sure you can see the obvious security issues if this rumor becomes wider spread."

"Is that an order, Admiral?" the Turian asked snidely.

"I can't give you any orders, Executor. But what I can do is just put the whole operation under military control. I was trying to give you the courtesy of keeping C-Sec informed but if you aren't interested, we will take care of it." Shepard moved to cut the link when the Turian spoke again.

"I appreciate the heads-up, Admiral. My men will be there."

"Good. I want any civilians, including reporters, who get out of line to be dealt with swiftly and severely."

"That sounded like an order. I know what the law is and how to enforce it."

_Fuck and you_, Shepard thought but instead said, "Again, it's not an order but since it has to do with an Alliance ship docking on the Alliance-controlled Citadel, we are within our rights to enforce the law if C-Sec is derelict in its duty."

Shepard stressed the words derelict and duty and was pleased with the results. It is difficult for a human to identify emotional cues on a turian face but Shepard was pretty sure that she could see rage on the Executor's face. The Executor didn't respond.

"Thank you for your cooperation in this matter. And thank you for your discretion. I'm sure we both agree that the fewer people who know about this, the better. Shepard out."

Just as the call ended, Shepard heard a knock at her door.

"Come in."

An Officer poked his head in and said "We have a visual from the fighters, ma'am."

Shepard bolted out of her chair and ran to the large monitor above the operation's board. There she saw the Normandy clear as day on the eight foot screen. If it wasn't the Normandy then it was a perfect replica. Shepard saw damage along the side visible to the fighter's cameras but other than that, the ship appeared to be exactly the same as the last time that Shepard saw her.

"Has the fighter established communications with the bogey yet?"

"Negative, Admiral. The ship is still messaging that vocal communications are out."

Shepard sighed in frustration. "Well then, have the fighter ask by message about the ship and crew's status. Do they need immediate assistance? Does anyone need medical assistance? I need a crew manifest." Shepard paced behind the chairs as she waited impatiently before the answers started coming in.

"The fighter pilot reports that the ship has damaged communications but that all other systems are operational. There is damage to most systems but they do not require immediate assistance. They can make it to the Citadel on their own power." The Officer paused. "The pilot also reports that there are 47 crew members remaining and that none need immediate medical attention."

Shepard ran the math through her head. Not including herself but including Edi and the non-Alliance members, the Normandy had 48 crew members before the Battle for Earth. Assuming that Edi died, that would leave 47 which would mean that everyone else survived and they were all returning home. Shepard briefly closed her eyes, struggling to get control of her emotions.

"I'll be in my office. Let me know if there are any further developments."

Shepard went back inside her office and then into her bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror. She still had dirt on her face from her duct adventure. She washed her hands and arms and then washed her face. She combed wet fingers through her hair. She tried to see herself as someone who had not seen her in two years would see her. She had some wrinkles now. Not the type that just went away after a good night's sleep but the kind that stayed, fine lines between her brows and at the corners of her eyes. Besides that, Shepard thought that she looked pretty much the same as she had before the Battle for Earth. She might look the same but Shepard knew that she was not the same.

Shepard didn't even feel like the same person and she doubted that anyone who truly knew her would even recognize her. She knew that the people who worked for her all respected her but she doubted that any of them liked her and certainly, none of them considered her a friend. Unlike many on the crew of the Normandy, where she had deliberately cultivated relationships with the people under her command, she had spent the last two years holding everyone at arm's length.

She had not had any desire since the War to try to get close to anyone else. She still spoke with Jack and Samara, and even Wrex and Bacara back on Tuchanka, but she couldn't remember the last time that she had made a friend. No one knew what happened to the Normandy after Shepard made her decision on the Crucible that day almost two years prior but Shepard assumed that the shockwave from the Crucible had somehow destroyed the ship. She assumed that not only did she kill Edi and the geth that day but that she had also inadvertently destroyed the Normandy and all on board as well including the only person she had ever been in love with.

And now the evidence was mounting that this was the Normandy and that her friends would soon be back. Not destroyed. Alive. _Liara!_ The name that had been in the back of her mind since she first heard the name Normandy, sprang to the forefront insistently. Shepard felt the pain that thinking that name always brought to her but she also started to feel a kernel of hope in the pit of her stomach as well. Shepard consciously willed the kernel to disappear. She couldn't allow herself to fall apart and that was exactly what would happen if it somehow turned out that it was not really the Normandy or if Liara had died or if one of her other friends had died.

It also occurred to Shepard that everyone on the Normandy might believe that she was dead. Assuming this was the Normandy and that Liara was still alive, it was still possible that she had moved on or had even found someone else. If that were true, Shepard resolved that she would not stand in her way. She would not allow Liara to see the pain that it would inevitably bring to Shepard. She would willingly sacrifice her own dreams and hopes if it meant that Liara and the rest of her friends could be safe and sound and have a chance at happiness. Shepard shook her head. It was time to stop feeling sorry for herself. She needed to focus on what her returning friends would need if they were indeed the ones that would be docking in less than 45 minutes time.

Shepard sat down in front of her terminal. Before she could make a call, the light on her monitor started blinking indicating a call coming in. Hackett. Shepard hit the button and stood before the monitor as Hackett flickered into view.

"Shepard. Are these reports that I'm hearing true? Could this possibly be the Normandy?"

"It appears so, sir. They have the right ident codes, visuals show the Normandy or an exact copy and they are revealing info that seems accurate."

"Incredible. This will be a great morale boost for everyone. Just try to maintain a certain degree of skepticism, Admiral. There's always the possibility that this is someone out to do something sneaky."

"I already have the Citadel fleet at the ready and the Marines are standing by, ready to meet whoever comes out of that airlock."

"I know you'll handle it, Admiral. Is there anything that I can do to assist?"

"If it is the Normandy, the crew will need money, sir. It will take months to get back pay reinstated to them. I was hoping that you could speed up the process."

"If it is them, they will have their pay within a week. Not to mention a hero's parade through the streets of New York and London and Beijing. I'll also get our PR team ready for the onslaught of media requests. If it is them, I'm curious as hell myself to find out what happened."

"As am I, sir. Thanks for the help. I'll give you my report as soon as I meet them."

"I'll be waiting." Hackett paused before saying, "I know how much this means to you personally, Admiral. I've got my fingers crossed."

"As do I. Shepard out."

Shepard paused only a few seconds before punching the buttons on her terminal again. Her crew would need accommodations and there is no way that she would make them sleep in Citadel military crew quarters after being stuck on the crowded ship all this time. A slightly chubby, balding human male flickered into view before Shepard.

"Admiral. It's good to see you again. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I'm interested in some apartments. About 40 of them. I hear that you have your new tower up and running."

The man beamed, a broad smile spreading over his face.

"I would be very happy to show them to you personally. And I'm sure that I could work out some sort of discount."

Shepard crossed her arms and this time, the broad smile spread across her face.

"Oh, I'm sure you can do much better than that."


	34. Chapter 34

Garrus was normally a pretty calm person. In fact, his friends and comrades had often made jokes at his expense about that very trait. But right now, he felt nervous and he couldn't help but pace a little behind Joker in his pilot's seat. They were almost at the end of their long, unexpected journey and Garrus and everyone else on the crew had a million questions. They knew that the reapers were gone but how was the rest of the galaxy? How was Palaven? Did his family survive? Garrus knew that Liara had been a nervous wreck for the last few weeks wondering if her instincts were right and the Normandy's Captain of Record was still alive. Garrus was not a religious person by nature but he couldn't help but say a little prayer to the Spirits hoping that his family and Shepard were still alive.

Unlike Liara, the practical side of Garrus couldn't help but see just how improbable it was that Shepard had survived. The last thing they heard was that Shepard and Anderson had made it alive to the Citadel but that Anderson had died. The last thing they saw before their near-disastrous jump out of the system was an explosion on the Citadel that broke it in to pieces and sent an energy wave racing out from it. According to the messages that they had received, the Citadel had survived and that was where they were expected to dock but the system was just too awkward to ask more extensive individual questions.

"Are we in range? Do we have communications yet?"

"I've been trying, Garrus. Our communication equipment is just shot. We might be parked before we are able to raise anyone with it." Joker responded.

"Try it again, Joker."

"Alliance, this is the SRV Normandy, requesting dock assignment on the Citadel."

Suddenly, some broken words and static filled the cabin. Previously, Edi would have been the one to ask to help clean up the signal but Samantha Traynor now performed such duties.

"I'm trying Garrus. Just give me a minute." Traynor responded without even being asked. "Okay, ask them to repeat, Joker."

"Alliance, this is SRV Normandy, requesting dock assignment. Please repeat last transmission."

"Please proceed to docking bay D 24, Normandy. Admiral Shepard will meet you there. Does anyone need immediate medical attention?"

"Negative, Alliance Control." Joker responded. "Did you say Commander Shepard? Formally of the Normandy?"

"She's an Admiral now, Normandy."

Joker smiled broadly and glanced at Garrus and Traynor.

Garrus smiled back at Joker and smacked his shoulder. Joker winced but continued smiling from ear to ear anyway.

"Unbelievable. I better go tell Liara." Garrus said before bounding out of the cockpit. Traynor ran out right behind him, anxious to spread the best gossip that anyone had heard on the ship in almost two years.

Garrus knocked on Liara's door. Liara felt her insides tighten as she knew that someone would only be here right now if they had some news. With a weak voice, Liara responded.

"Come in."

Liara knew as soon as she saw Garrus that the news was good. She burst into tears and put her face in her hands.

"She's alive, Liara. And she will be meeting us as soon as we dock."

Liara stood up and hugged Garrus, smiling through her tears.

"When do we dock?"

"Twenty minutes."

Liara's smile left her face. _She doesn't know! What if she's found someone else? What if she's a different person? What if she's no longer interested in me? What if she hates me for what I did_? One of Liara's questions had been answered but so many more remained. Liara felt an overwhelming mix of emotions. _Shepard is still alive!_ She felt overjoyed at hearing the news but she also felt terrified. The one thought that had sustained her the last two years was that somehow Shepard had survived and that the Normandy would somehow make it home so that she and Shepard would have a chance at a real life together. Liara didn't know how she would survive if that chance was now somehow gone. And she would be finding out in a little over twenty minutes.

"I'm sure she will be very happy to see you, Liara."

"I know. It's just…"_ I can't even tell Garrus_, h_ow am I going to tell Shepard? _"I need a little time to get myself together."

"No problem. Take your time. I'll tell her that you're just fine." Garrus turned towards the door to leave.

"Garrus, wait! I need to tell you something."

"Okay. What is it?"

Liara took a deep breath and started to speak.

It was only when Shepard made it to docking bay D24 that she realized that she had not changed out of her torn and dirty service uniform into her dress blues. Shepard cursed to herself. There just hadn't been enough time. Reporters were already there in force and she had no doubt that pictures of her in her wrecked uniform were already being beamed out to the rest of the galaxy. But then, that was the least of her concerns at the moment.

Despite her best efforts to keep her emotions in check, Shepard couldn't help but feel the excitement and sense of hopefulness in the pit of her stomach. _I will not let myself lose control. Liara! If Liara is alive, I will be happy no matter if she still wants me or not. Please be alive! I will let Liara make the first move. I will not pressure her or embarrass her if she no longer feels the same way. I will keep a dignified, military bearing no matter what happens._ Shepard straightened her uniform again and waited, her eyes glued to the airlock.

"Ten-Hut!", the Alliance Marine Chief shouted and the honor guard snapped to attention as the airlock to the Normandy opened. They stood on either side of the door creating a long, narrow corridor with Shepard standing at the other end. Shepard noticed that despite the formation, they held their rifles in their hands in front of them, ready for anything.

Garrus was the first one out of the airlock and he started down the long corridor. He seemed confused by the line of soldiers on either side of him. He spotted Shepard at the end and started walking faster. Shepard stood at attention but as soon as she saw Garrus, she smiled and started walking down the line herself, unwilling to wait until Garrus reached her. When they met in the middle of the line, Garrus snapped a salute.

"As temporary Commander of the SSV Normandy SR-2, I hereby release command back to her Captain of Record."

Instead of saluting back, Shepard laughed and pulled her friend into a hug. She stepped back again to look her friend over.

"Garrus, you old son of a bitch, how are you? How did a Turian get in charge of an Alliance ship?"

The smile left Shepard's face as she realized the implications.

"What happened to Kaidan?"

"Relax Shepard. I am happy to report that we have had only one casualty since you left. Edi didn't make it. We think that whatever took out the Reapers, took her away from us as well. But, Kaidan is fine." Garrus smiled at his old friend, reached forward, and touched her hand. "And Liara is fine too. She will be out here shortly."

Garrus could see the tension leave his friend's body and her smile returned. Shepard felt the tears form in her eyes but she refused to allow them to develop any further_. Liara is alive and she's here_! _Remember, let her make the first move! _

"Then I ask again. How did a goddamn turian get in charge of my ship?"

"We were thrown outside of charted space so the crew decided to take a vote. I was elected."

"Ouch. Between you and me, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. But how did Kaidan take it?"

"Not well at first but he got over it. What is all this?" Garrus nodded towards the honor guard and the throngs of reporters, C-Sec and civilians that were crowding the dock.

"You know. Someone might have been telling some tales about the Normandy and her crew in your absence." Shepard grinned broadly. Shepard leaned closer to Garrus again. "Your father and sister are just fine and back on Palaven, Garrus."

Garrus closed his eyes briefly before responding.

"Thank you, Shepard."

By this time, Kaidan had stepped up behind Garrus and others were pushing forward behind him.

"Shepard! You are a sight for sore eyes, my friend."

Kaidan stepped forward and gave Shepard a hug.

"Same here, Kaidan. I'm so glad to see you again. Your mom is still living in Vancouver and will be waiting for your call."

Kaidan held Shepard tighter for a moment before stepping back.

"Thank you, Shepard. I appreciate you telling me that. It's been a long two years not knowing."

The rest of the crew started bunching up behind Kaidan, surrounding their ex-commander and causing the corridor created by the guard to bulge in the middle. Shepard took in all the old faces and started to greet each person individually. Shepard was overwhelmed by pats on the back, handshakes and hugs. Shepard spied James and smiled. James shook his head slowly and grinned back.

"You are one tough, old bitch."

Shepard laughed, grabbed a shoulder strap that showed her rank and responded.

"You are one tough, old bitch…."

"You are one tough, old bitch, Admiral!" James snapped to attention and saluted. Shepard responded by slapping his hand for a handshake and then pulling him in for a hug. In return, James gave Shepard a bear hug and lifted her off the ground.

"It's good to see you alive, Lola."

"You too, James. And good to see you haven't let yourself go during your two year luxury cruise." Shepard said as she smacked him in the stomach. "Your uncle is still living by the Pacific. I'll bet he'll be very happy to hear from you."

James seemed surprised by Shepard's words.

"You didn't even know we were still alive. How did you…" Instead of finishing his question, James just nodded and said "Thank you, Admiral."

Shepard turned her head again and saw the happy faces of Gabby Daniels and Ken Donnelly smiling at her. It was not until Shepard went to give Gabby a hug and was physically prevented from getting close enough, that Shepard noticed her very swollen belly. Shepard looked down and then looked up smiling.

"Someone's been breaking regs, I see." Shepard said teasingly.

"Just following the example set…" Donnelly started to say before Daniels hit him in the stomach with her arm. "Shut up, Kenneth! Remember what Garrus just told us!"

Before Shepard could wonder what they were talking about, Doctor Chakwas came up and interrupted.

"To be fair, Shepard, we did run out of anti-pregnancy implants over a year ago. Not surprisingly, Alliance starships at war don't stock too many of them. Though I did suggest to Mr. Donnelly that he undergo a simple and completely reversible procedure and he refused."

"Doctor! It's so good to see you!" Shepard gave Chakwas a hug.

"They say it's reversible but it's the duty of every virile, studly, young human male to stay that way for the good of our species." Donnelly said as he shuddered at the mere thought of the procedure.

Before Shepard could hear Daniels' retort she saw someone else moving forward out of the airlock in her peripheral vision. Shepard froze and the smile left her face as she turned to see Liara. Their eyes met and the world froze for a moment. When time and space returned, Shepard's only thought was _Fuck it!_ She started sprinting towards Liara, weaving around her other ex-crewmen and bumping members of the honor guard out of the way. When Shepard reached Liara, she swept her up in her arms, lifting Liara off her feet and twirling her in the air. _So much for the plan. So much for dignified, military bearing._ Her ex-crewmen politely averted their eyes and pretended not to look as their former Commander started sobbing.

_Well, that answers so many questions. Without a word being spoken. You are such a coward, T'Soni. Shepard always has been so much braver than you!_

Liara buried her face deeper into Shepard's neck, the tears flowing down her cheeks making her lover's skin wet. She pulled her arms tighter around Shepard, not wanting to let go. They both stood pressed together seamlessly for endless moments, both women crying unabashedly. Shepard finally let Liara go and she brought her hands up to cradle Liara's face. Shepard kissed her cheeks, her forehead and finally, she pressed her lips against Liara's, giving her a long, deep kiss. And then another. Shepard then moved her hands lower until they were wrapped around Liara's waist. Shepard looked into Liara's sky blue eyes and with a tiny smile curling her lip said,

"So, how's it going?"

Liara let out a tiny laugh and responded by wrapping her arms around Shepard's neck and pulling her in tight again. Liara let her eyes go black and gently felt out a little with her mind. _Yup, the same Shepard. A little battered and bruised, a little rough around the edges. But it's my Shepard and she is okay._ After another minute or two, Shepard pulled back and looked Liara over. _She is really here! _Shepard squeezed Liara's arms just to make sure.

Liara held Shepard's hands and gave them a squeeze in return.

"Your hands are shaking."

"Impossible. My hands never shake. You look beautiful."

"You look...", Liara paused and smiled, "filthy. You aren't really the Citadel Idiot now and they just call you Admiral to make you feel better, are you?"

"Hah! You still got it, T'Soni! It's a long, boring story."

_Knowing Shepard, it's probably a long story but likely not boring. "_Why do you have fresh scratches on your arm?" Liara traced the lines gently with her fingers.

"Like I said, it's a long story. I didn't have time to go get cleaned up because no one bothered to call and tell me you were coming." Liara noticed a little edge to the explanation. _For two years, no one bothered to call! _Shepard thought.

"It's another long story. There were complications."

The long stories could wait. Right now, Shepard had more of her friends to greet. Shepard had never felt such joy and she just could not get the smile off her face. Shepard grabbed Liara with one arm around her waist and then turned and walked away from the airlock, pulling Liara along with her. By this time, there was chaos on the dock as the gathered civilians spontaneously burst into applause and pushed forward towards the returning crew. The reporters crowded around the group trying to get the best angle for pictures while the Marines and C Sec struggled to maintain the corridor so that the crew would be able to move off the dock.

It was no surprise to anyone there when the headlines started popping up in the following hours. One of the most popular reports contained a picture of Shepard and Liara locked in an embrace with the headline "Emotions run high as the 'Tough, Old Bitch' reunites with the crew of the 'Ghost Ship'".


	35. Chapter 35

Shepard was leading Liara and her other former crewmen to Alliance Central Operations which led right by the huge Memorial Wall. As they got closer, Shepard realized with horror that the Normandy was still listed on the wall and underneath the ship's name, were the plaques with the names of all the Normandy's crew.

"Lieutenant!" Shepard barked at her assistant. "I thought I told you to get someone to take those names down?"

"Sorry ma'am. There just wasn't any time."

"I want it done now! I don't care if you have to do it yourself!"

"Aye, aye, ma'am!"

_So Shepard really thought that I and the rest of the Normandy crew were dead,_ Liara thought as she located her name. _And I don't remember Shepard ever being that surly to those under her command before. _She would yell out orders but only in the heat of battle. The rest of the time, she had always been patient and even-tempered with her crew.

Shepard looked at Liara sheepishly.

"Sorry about that. I shouldn't have let them declare anyone dead until we knew something for sure. Until we found something concrete."

"The galaxy is only about 90,000 light years across and you didn't bother to come looking for us?" Liara said teasingly.

"If I had had any clue at all, I would have. I'm sorry."

"That was a joke, Shepard. We assumed that everyone would think that we were dead by this point." Liara saw the name Matriarch Benezia T'Soni above her own and felt a stab of pain and anxiety. It reminded Liara of her mother but it also reminded her that there was something that she needed to do right away. They continued walking.

"My mother's name is up there? She was never in the Alliance and she never served on the Normandy."

"She was a victim of the war as much as anyone else. And she helped us and the Alliance. I thought it was appropriate. I'll have it taken down if it makes you feel uncomfortable."

"No. That was very sweet of you." Liara paused. "Shepard, I need to talk to you about something."

They continued walking until they were right outside the doors to Central Operations. Shepard paused to allow the others to catch up.

"The good news is I know for a fact that Aethyta is still alive and well back on Thessia so hopefully, no more additions to any memorial walls for either of us for a long time." Shepard responded.

Liara smiled, genuinely happy to hear that her father was alive. But her smile faded quickly as she thought about her mother's name again. "I'm very glad to hear that, Shepard, but there is something that I need to talk to you about."

Just then, Serviceman Rodriquez came up to Shepard with a baby on her hip. She bit her lip as she addressed the Admiral.

"Ma'am, I know we aren't supposed to get pregnant while on active duty. Are we going to be in trouble?"

"Good to see you again, Rodriquez. And who is this young cadet?"

"Her name is Raquel and she was born on the Normandy 6 months ago. Those of us who had children are a little apprehensive that we will be demoted or have our pay withheld."

Normally, the Alliance would punish a soldier who became pregnant (or impregnated another) while deployed on active duty, as pregnancy was one hundred percent preventable through modern medicine but these were exceptional circumstances. Technically, it was also against regulations for any soldier or sailor to engage in sexual relations with any other soldier or sailor while on deployment, with the exception of married crewmen on those ships large enough to accommodate families, but it was probably the most ignored and least enforced regulation in the book. So long as it did not affect a crewman's job performance or create a disruption, it was widely overlooked.

Shepard smiled at Rodriquez and Raquel. "She's adorable and don't worry about it. You said 'those of us'. Exactly how many little additions to the crew are we talking about here?"

Before Rodriquez could respond, Liara grabbed Shepard's arm and said "I need to talk to you about something, Shepard."

"One minute please, Liara. Let me just get everyone set up here."

Shepard turned to address the entire group.

"Listen up. We have secure terminals set up where you can find out everything that we know about how things are. We have pulled your personnel files where you will find current information on all your known family members. We also have some communication's terminals set up so you can contact any person on any system that we have communications with." Shepard looked at Tali. "There are still some systems that don't have their relays back on line yet but I think everyone here should be able to communicate with back home."

Tali smiled. "Thank you, Shepard."

Shepard smiled broadly at Tali in return. "You are welcome."

As the rest of the crew rushed to get through the door to the awaiting terminals, Liara grabbed Shepard's arm.

"Shepard. There's something that I need to show you back on the Normandy."

"Liara, surely it can wait?"

"No. I need to show you now."_ Liara looks nervous_. Shepard felt a queasy feeling grow in the pit of her stomach. _Liara looks really nervous. What could this possibly be about? Maybe she's found someone else? Maybe she found some evidence of some other threat to the universe? What the fuck could this possibly be about?! _

"Liara, please just tell me."

Instead of answering, Liara turned and started walking back towards the docks and the Normandy. Shepard followed behind, the sense of dread increasing with every step. As they passed the Memorial Wall again, Shepard could see Lieutenant Astrea on a ladder attempting to pry the names off the wall.

Shepard sighed. "Lieutenant. Please get down from there. I'm sorry that I barked at you. The names can wait until a maintenance crew arrives."

The Lieutenant, not seeing the Admiral approach again, jumped when hearing Shepard's voice and nearly fell backwards off the ladder. _The poor woman needs some time off_. Shepard made a mental note to order her to take some leave once the crew was settled.

Liara was almost running ahead of Shepard. "Liara! Would you wait up, for Christ's sake?" Liara didn't listen and instead started walking a little faster. _What could this possibly be about? If she didn't love me anymore or if she were with someone else, would she have kissed me like that? Not to mention the shallow meld that she initiated. Maybe she was just sparing my feelings? Letting me down gently, away from the public? But why does she have to drag me back to the Normandy to do that?_

When they got to the airlock, Shepard hesitated at the door._ I'm going on my ship again! The Normandy is actually here! _Liara was still ahead of Shepard, not pausing to allow Shepard her nostalgia. Instead, she turned sharply right and headed directly for the elevator. Once in the elevator, she wordlessly hit the button for the crew deck.

"You're making me nervous here, T'Soni. Can't you just give me a little warning about what this might be about?" _Goddess, I've missed her_, Liara thought. _Just hearing her say my name makes me feel alive again, makes me feel real. Hearing her say my name makes me feel like me again. I just hope she can still bear to say it after she knows what I did._

After getting off the elevator, Liara made a beeline for her room. Shepard looked at the Normandy's Memorial Wall as she got off the elevator, saw Anderson's name and felt the familiar flood of conflicting emotions: pain, guilt, and affection. She looked again and noticed that her name was not there. _I gave up on them but they never gave up on me. _

As Shepard continued around the corner, she wondered idly if any of Liara's Shadow Broker equipment still worked. The 'Shadow Broker' had gone silent after the Battle for Earth and the rumor was that he or she was killed by reaper forces. Shepard got her answer when the door opened ahead of Liara and Shepard saw that all the monitors had been removed and all the terminals were gone except for a standard issue Alliance terminal at Liara's desk. Shepard could see Traynor in the back of the room, her head down.

"Samantha! I wondered where you'd run off..."

Shepard stopped dead in her tracks when she saw what Traynor was looking down at. At Traynor's side and holding her hand was a little blue girl, walking towards Liara, a little unsteady on her feet but determined. Liara went to the girl, bent over and picked her up. She placed the child on her right hip and turned to face Shepard who was still in the doorway.

Liara let out a deep breath before saying, "Shepard, I'd like you to meet your daughter, Benezia."

Shepard stood frozen in the doorway, her mouth open. She looked from the child to Liara and then to Traynor and then back to Liara. Samantha was now at the door, trying to get around Shepard so that she could escape.

"Well, don't look at me. I had nothing to do with it. Shepard, can you please move? I_ really _want to get out of here now!"

Shepard took a few staggered steps into the room. Samantha ran around her and out the door with a sigh of relief.

"Whose is it?" Shepard said, more out of confusion than accusation.

Liara tilted her head and said quietly "Shepard", the hurt in her eyes plain to see.

Shepard moved towards the two and looked into the child's eyes. Her eyes were very close to being the same shade of blue as her mother's eyes but her skin color was perhaps a little darker.

Liara began speaking. "I'm sorry, Shepard. I know what I did was wrong but I just wasn't thinking. The last time we were together, I just felt so afraid. I felt so desperate to hold onto to you, that I just let go. The thought that I might lose you again made me feel so lonely. I knew that it was wrong but I just couldn't stop myself. I just let myself go completely even though I knew what might happen if I did. I'll understand if you don't want anything to do with either of us."

Shepard looked into the girl's blue eyes and a smile broke on Shepard's face. Shepard could feel tears start to well up in her eyes. "Well hello, Benezia. It's nice to meet you. It appears that I'm your…father?" Shepard reached out and stroked the child's cheek with the back of her fingers. The girl smiled back at Shepard. "Would it be okay if I held you?" Shepard held out her open hands in front of Benezia until the girl reached out her free arm to her. Shepard gently pulled the girl away from her mother and then pulled her in tight to her chest, turning away from Liara as she did. Tears from Shepard's eyes fell on top of Benezia's head. After a moment, Shepard snaked out one of her hands to her side until she found Liara's hand. She entwined her fingers with Liara's and squeezed.

Later, Garrus was bending over Tali, who was peering intently at the screen in front of her. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Shepard walk into Operations. Liara and Shepard were holding hands and Benezia was perched on Shepard's hip.

"Well, that answers that question." Garrus nodded towards the threesome.

"Did you really expect another result?" Tali asked. "It's Shepard. She's been gonzo about Liara for years even though she tried to hide it for the longest time."

"Still, there's only so much shock a person can take. You saw our names on the wall. When Shepard woke up this morning, she thought we were all dead. Now, a few hours later, we are all here. She finds out that her bondmate is still alive and that she has a kid. I half expected her to have a heart attack and keel over." Garrus shook his head trying to imagine how all this must feel like for Shepard.

"She does look like she could use a drink. She looks a little dazed. Kind of like that time a Krogan got through to her and gave her that concussion. I still can't believe that Liara didn't tell her!"

"From what Liara told me, she was hoping that nothing would come from her momentary lapse of control and she didn't want to give Shepard anything more to worry about before the big final push. When she did realize that she was definitely pregnant, we were already lost in uncharted space."

"I can't believe that Liara told you and not me." Tali said. "She's supposed to be my best friend!"

Garrus sighed. "I'm starting to get concerned that I'm the guy that all the women go to for 'girl talk'. I hope that doesn't mean I'm really gay."

Tali smiled behind her mask and tilted her head flirtatiously. "Believe me, Vakarian. You're not gay." Tali leaned in closer and whispered. "You're my very strong, very big, very hard Bird."

Garrus cleared his throat and moved away slightly, obviously embarrassed by Tali's words but Tali noticed that he also puffed out his chest just a little as well.

"Shepard, you're getting Benezia dirty. You need to go change."

Shepard looked down at her smudged and torn uniform. She had completely forgotten about it. That morning seemed like it happened years ago.

"You've got a point. But can't I take you both with me?"

Liara chuckled. "I think that it would be more efficient for you to go by yourself. I'd also like to take a look at what's going on in the galaxy. I've been out of the loop for a bit."

"Okay. Good idea."

Liara moved to take Benezia from Shepard's arms but encountered resistance.

"Shepard, you have to let go."

Liara looked in Shepard's eyes and felt her heart jump. _Goddess, right now she looks as young and vulnerable as Benezia_. Liara felt the tears well up in her own eyes seeing her fear. Liara placed her hand on Shepard's arm and gave it a squeeze.

"It's okay, my love. We'll be right here when you get back. I promise."

Shepard handed Benezia over to Liara.

"I'll be right back. 20 minutes, 30 minutes tops."

"We'll be here."

Shepard reached out her hand and caressed Benezia's cheek. "I'll see you in a little bit, Bene."

Liara gave her a look. "Her name is Benezia."

Shepard grinned at Liara. "We'll discuss it later."

Before leaving, Shepard saw Tali and Garrus huddled around one of the monitors. Shepard went over to them, pulled Tali up out of her chair and gave her a long hug. Tali hugged her back and laughed.

"I didn't get to do that before", Shepard said when she released her. "I'm so happy to see you Tali."

"I missed you too, Shepard. We were all so worried."

"Shepard. Didn't you already get your bondmate back? Do you really have to go around molesting other women on the crew?" Garrus said while eyeing Shepard suspiciously.

In response, Shepard hugged Garrus and actually lifted the much taller and heavier turian off the ground.

"There. Now no one can accuse me of not being equal opportunity in my sexual harassment anyway." Shepard said with a smirk. Shepard's smile widened and she stood a little taller. "Hey Garrus. I have a kid", she bragged.

"We know. We've seen her and heard her for the last fourteen months." Garrus responded.

"And smelled her, too", Tali added, laughing.

"I should go. I'll see you both again soon", Shepard said as she bounded out of Central Operations.

"I think she might be on the verge of losing her mind." Garrus said as they watched Shepard run out of the area.

"Poor thing. I think it could go either way at this point." Tali responded.


	36. Chapter 36

Shepard arrived at her apartment and quickly jumped into her shower, hoping to get back to Central Operations as quickly as possible. As she was in her shower, she felt her head literally spinning a little. _Maybe I need some food_, she thought. But she knew it wasn't low blood sugar alone that was giving her the dizzy feeling. _I can't believe this. I just can't believe this. _Shepard stood under the hot water, trying to process all that had happened in less than the last solar day. _What if it's not real? What if they are not who they appear to be? What if I am losing my mind?_

Shepard got out of the shower and paged her assistant.

"Lieutenant, I want some armed guards posted in Operations. I also don't want any of our guests to leave until they can be scanned and their identities verified. But do it quietly. Don't let them know that they are being watched and don't let them know that they are not being allowed to leave."

Astrea's eyes grew wider and she leaned forward. "Do you think that they are not who they say they are?"

"They probably are who they appear to be but there are a lot of strange things out there in the galaxy. It's my job to make sure the Citadel is safe from all threats. It's our job to protect the Citadel from all possible threats, even the really improbable ones."

"That makes sense, ma'am. But how do I keep them from leaving without telling them that they can't leave?"

"Think of something, Lieutenant. Delay them. Give them two years of make-up paperwork to do. Just don't let them leave and don't let them know that they can't leave."

"Yes, ma'am."

Shepard next stopped by the Medical Center and asked the doctor in charge if they could prep to do a full work-up on one of the returning crewmen. The doctor explained that while a simple omni-tool scan could ascertain if the returning crewman has the same DNA as the crewman who left, more advanced tests would be needed to make sure that they were who they appeared to be.

"Our DNA changes as we age. Our more advanced diagnostics can predict what their DNA should be and see if it's a match. It can also detect trace foreign DNA or the presence of chemicals that aren't supposed to be there. The longer-lived the species, the slower an individual ages and the smaller the changes so if you can send a krogan or an asari, it would be best. "

_Oh crap. If that is really Liara, she's going to be pissed_. "Good. Set it up. I'll send one of them to you shortly."

When Shepard returned to Operations, it was more than an hour later and a mutiny was brewing. Garrus accosted Shepard before she even cleared the doorway.

"What's going on here, Shepard? We have all been trapped on a frigate for two years and now we are being held here against our will!?"

"It's just a precaution, Garrus. You'd do the same thing in my position. There's a lot of crazy stuff out there in the universe and no one has seen or heard from you in almost two years."

Liara came forward with her arms folded and an extremely unhappy look on her face. "What are you thinking here, Shepard? Clones? Aliens who have taken over our bodies? Mind control?"

"Been there, done that with all of those. As I'm sure you remember if you are really you. I need to make sure. Which is why I'm going to have to ask you to submit to a complete medical examination, Liara. It should only take a few hours."

"Or I could just do this", Liara said as she moved closer to Shepard and closed her eyes. When she reopened them, they were black. Shepard nodded slightly and Shepard soon felt Liara enter her mind. Liara showed Shepard, in intimate detail, some of the times that they had been together. Liara showed her intimate details that could only be known by two beings in the entire galaxy. Beyond the specific memories, Shepard felt a flood of Liara, a familiar essence that had never entirely left Shepard's mind even while Liara had been gone. When Liara broke the meld, Shepard's face flushed red and her legs threatened to buckle beneath her. Shepard cleared her throat before speaking.

"Guards, dismissed. Lieutenant, make sure that everyone has their apartment assignments before they leave. And make sure that everyone on the crew reports back here at 0800 hours tomorrow morning for debrief." And with that, Shepard, eyes on the ground, moved to her office and shut the door. Once closed, Shepard could hear the laughter from her ex-crewmen and she heard a few of them thank Liara for her efforts. After a few minutes, Shepard heard a knock on her door.

"Come in."

Liara walked in and closed the door behind her. She walked over to where Shepard was sitting and squatted down in front of Shepard's chair. She put her hands on Shepard's knees.

"Are you okay? I didn't mean to embarrass you."

Shepard shook her head. "I don't care about that. I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment. It's just hard to believe what's happened in the last few hours."

"I know what you mean. When I woke up this morning, I knew we would be back at Earth but I had no idea if there was even still a Citadel. I could only hope that you were still alive and not long since dead… It must be even worse for you."

Shepard stared into Liara's eyes. "I can't begin to tell you how much I missed you, Liara. I love you so much. Not a single day went by when..." Shepard couldn't finish the thought and tears welled in her eyes. Liara pulled Shepard's head down and touched her forehead to Shepard's.

"I love you too, Shepard. And no matter how much you think you missed me, I missed you more. I'm so sorry that I left you alone."

Shepard grinned through her tears at Liara.

"It was nice to have you in my mind again."

"It was nice to be back." Liara leaned up and whispered in Shepard's ear. "Do you remember the last thing I said to you before we parted? I said that I am yours." Liara pulled back and looked into Shepard's eyes. "Well, if you still want me, then take me."

Shepard felt her face flush hot at the words and she felt the old familiar ache in her lower abdomen and between her legs. Shepard stood up, taking Liara with her. She pushed Liara against the wall of her office and kissed her desperately on the mouth. Her hands worked on the zipper of Liara's dress. Shepard pulled back and looked at Liara with a pained expression.

"I don't think I can wait until we go to my apartment. I want you right now. I need you right now."

Liara shook her head and started to undo the buckle on Shepard's pants. "Then don't wait. Right here. Right now."

The couple didn't even bother taking off most of their clothing, only removing items needed to give them access to the more important areas. They fell down together on the small couch in Shepard's office, their hands greedily seeking between each other's legs while their mouths hungrily moved together. Liara entered Shepard's mind without even stopping to give a polite warning first. It only took a few moments before Shepard reached her climax, taking Liara along with her through their meld. As their breathing and heart rates started to return to normal, Liara grinned and whispered in Shepard's ear.

"Well, that didn't take much at all."

Shepard grinned as well and remembering Liara's word's from three years before after another long-delayed reunion, said "It was a long two years and then seeing you again. I was ready." Shepard continued. "I'm sorry. I know it wasn't the long, slow reunion that we both need. Maybe I can wrap things up here and we can go back to my apartment? Take our time saying hello again?"

"Nothing would make me happier. Of course, we will have to find a babysitter. I doubt that Benezia will let us take our time with anything for the foreseeable future."

Shepard smiled and shook her head.

"I have a child, Liara. We have a daughter. Can you believe that?!"

Shepard stood up, pulling Liara to her feet as well. She pulled Liara into her arms and twirled her around a few times, laughing.

Liara couldn't help but laugh at Shepard's unguarded joyous reaction. "I do believe it because I've been feeding her and changing her for the last 14 months. Not to mention that I will never forget giving birth to her."

Shepard stopped smiling.

"That makes me kind of sad. I missed so much. Moments that will never come again."

"If you want, I will share my memories with you. But I warn you, the birth was wonderful but very painful as well and not just because of the physical pain."

"I would like that. When we are both ready to share that together."

Liara smiled again. "And if you stick around, I'm sure Benezia will have many more moments in the future."

"You couldn't get rid of me now if you tried. I don't know if you remember how adamant I can be once I set my mind to something."

"Adamant? I would call it stubborn. And thank the Goddess that you are."

Shepard smiled. "I prefer resolute, myself. Come on. Let's go see if there are any more fires that I need to handle so that we can get out of here." Shepard straightened Liara's dress and zipped up what needed to be zipped while Liara helped Shepard get her pants back on.

After a quick stop in Shepard's bathroom, they both left the office holding hands. Shepard had expected to see most of the crew gone. Instead, most of them were still milling around and when they saw Shepard re-emerge, they surrounded her. Traynor, arms folded, was the first to speak.

"I'm glad that you and Liara are reunited and were able to embrace eternity together again but what about the rest of us?"

"What do you mean? I don't know what you think you saw but there are different kinds of melds. That was purely an information exchange." Shepard said defensively. "It's just like giving someone a report on a datapad."

Tali was standing with Benezia sitting on her hip. Tali laughed. "Yeah, Liara has been 'getting reports' from Shepard like that in front of the whole crew since the very beginning."

Now Liara got defensive. "Shepard's right. That was just a report of sorts. There was nothing sexual about it." _Now what happened in Shepard's office just a few minutes ago…_

Joker grinned and piped up. "I don't know, Garrus. Liara's given me plenty of reports over the years and she's never melded with me before. How about you?"

"Nope. I got all my reports on actual datapads." Garrus laughed. "Shepard's the only one that Liara has provided enlightenment to in that black eye's way." Liara glared at Garrus.

"Regardless of what kind of melds you two engage in, in public, in front of other people, what about the rest of us? We have all been trapped on a small ship for over two years staring at the same 46 people, day after day." Samatha explained emphatically.

"Don't worry, I got you all free luxury apartments! Didn't the Lieutenant tell you?"

"So instead of being trapped on a small ship, now you want us to go sit alone in an apartment? After two years? Two years with no shore leave, no bars, no new people, no extranet, no communications, no extranet…" James asked.

Joker was even less subtle. "No new porn!"

Shepard folded her arms and said, "Okay. What do you want?"

"Money! I want to go out and have a real dinner tonight in a real restaurant with real people in it!" Samantha demanded.

"I spoke with Hackett and he is already working on getting your back pay reinstated. You should have it in less than a week. That's the best I can do. If you need food, I can give you a pass to the Alliance mess here on the Citadel." Shepard said.

The entire remaining crew surrounded Shepard looking very unhappy. Shepard sighed and returned to her office. After a moment, she returned holding up a credit chit.

"Okay, I'll let you use my credit chit but I trust you to use it sparingly and responsibly. Nothing illicit! And remember, this is my personal credit chit and I am not a rich woman."

Samantha moved forward to get the chit from Shepard. Shepard was about to hand it to her when she pulled it back.

"There's just one catch. I need a volunteer to babysit Benezia."

The assembled crew groaned. Shepard took Benezia from Tali. Shepard held Benezia out in front of her, began bouncing her in the air and started talking.

"Look at how cute I am. All I want is for my mommy and daddy to be reunited and to have a strong relationship so that I can grow up in a loving home. My poor daddy was all alone for the last two years…"

"Shepard!" Liara yelled. "You can't use your daughter like that!"

Benezia, for her part, didn't seem to mind at all as she laughed from being bounced in the air. The assembled crew groaned again, some shaking their heads and others rolling their eyes.

Tali finally spoke up. "Fine. Garrus and I will watch her but whoever gets that chit had better send us the best Dextro meal currently available on the Citadel!"

Shepard gave the chit to Samantha.

"I'm trusting you to be moderate and responsible, Traynor."

Samantha smiled and was already leaving with the chit before Shepard could finish the sentence, the rest of the crew trailing behind her.

"And I better not get any reports from C-Sec about unruly crewmen!" Shepard yelled after them.

Shepard held Benezia close for a few moments before giving her to Liara. Liara held Benezia a while longer and gave her several kisses before handing her over to Tali.

"Just go with Auntie Tali for tonight, Benezia. We'll see you in the morning, sweetie."

Liara looked a little sad as Tali and Garrus left with Benezia.

"Are you okay?" Shepard asked.

"Of course. Benezia is in good hands and she won't be upset because she is so used to everyone on the crew. I've just never spent the night without her since she was born. Of course, for the last two years, I thought of nothing but getting to spend the night with you again so my fondest wish is now coming true."

Shepard reached forward and gave Liara a kiss, completely unconcerned that she was standing in the middle of Central Operations.

"You will both have me every night from this point forward if you both agree. Let me just finish up a few things here and we can be on our way."


	37. Chapter 37

Shepard opened the door to her apartment and then stepped aside to allow Liara to enter.

"This place is...horrible."

Shepard looked around seeing her place anew through Liara's eyes and felt a little embarrassed.

_What dark place have you been living in for the last 2 years, my love_?, Liara thought._ It looks like a prison cell. _Small, dark, cheerless, colorless. It made her feel sad despite the overwhelming joy that she felt being with Shepard again. She noticed the empty bottles on the counter. There was no decoration of any kind.

"I'll get the three of us a bigger place, a nicer place. I promise."

"I know space is tight but this is the apartment that they give to the Commander of the Citadel?

"I traded that place for a 'donation' from a Volus for hospital supplies."

A good answer that sounded very reasonable._ But is that the real reason or are you punishing yourself for some reason?_

Liara turned and pulled Shepard into her arms. Liara whispered in her ear, "let's go to my room on the Normandy."

Once they got back to Liara's room, Shepard and Liara took their time re-introducing themselves to each other's bodies, slowly and gently caressing the other with hands and lips. They alternated between just staring into each other's eyes and then closing their eyes and kissing each other slowly and deeply until neither could take the built up pressure any longer. When they were finally momentarily sated, Shepard felt giddy.

They lay together afterward thinking of all that had happened while they had been apart. Liara was half-covering Shepard with her arms and head on Shepard's chest. The familiar hum of the Normandy was a steady drone in the background. _Is this real? Is this really happening? _Shepard thought.

"It's weird being on the Normandy again. I feel like I'm in a dream."

"If it is, it's a really good dream!"

Shepard held Liara tighter.

"I'm sorry that I'm so hairy. I wasn't expecting visitors."

Shepard could feel Liara laughing against her chest. Liara lifted her head to smile at Shepard.

"My hairy, little ape woman in her natural state."

"I can't believe you're really here."

"I'm real Shepard. And you're real too. It's too good to be true, I know."

"You better not do that again."

"Me!? Look who's talking! I'm not the one who ran into an enemy infested space station alone and set off an explosion! Besides, I've only been probably dead once now. You've been really dead once, probably dead how many times? And you forget, unless something terrible happens to me, I will live to see you die for real."

"Good."

"That's selfish!"

"I think you asari must just be made of sterner stuff than we are because I can't bear the thought of losing you again." Shepard paused and continued "If I'm a little clingy in the next days, weeks, years, I hope you will be patient with me."

"Years?"

"Hopefully not. But if you try to leave me now, I might have to have you arrested."

"No chance of that. And I know the feeling." Liara grinned before continuing, "I was thinking of having you fitted for a collar."

Not a completely unpleasant thought. "Kinky! I like it!"

"Are you angry about Benezia?"

Shepard thought about it. "Let's recap, shall we? You decided to potentially have my child without my knowledge or consent. You decided, on your own, to do something that could have resulted in _my _child being born into a universe where all she might ever know is war and suffering. And then, while you are potentially carrying_ my _child, you join me on the battlefield where one or both of us could have very easily been killed and our daughter too. That is pretty selfish, Liara. That's pretty high up there on really crappy things to do." Shepard paused before continuing. "But no, I'm not mad because I'm just too damn happy to have you both. Apparently, I can't manage euphoria and anger at the same time. But give me time. I'm sure a year or so from now, I'll be thinking about it out of the blue and we'll have one hell of a fight."

Liara cringed, unconsciously trying to make her body smaller. "It sounds so bad when you say it all out loud like that. I'm sorry, Shepard. I didn't do it on purpose and I should have been honest with you when it happened."

"I know all that. I understand why you did it. Hell, it probably wasn't even entirely a conscious choice. You wanted something to hold on to. Some bit of light in all that darkness. The life force kicking in to balance all the death. It was a very human thing to do."

"Well, you don't have to be insulting", Liara joked before getting serious again.

"I'm sorry about leaving you. I promised you that I'd be right by your side and I left."

"Nope. That was me. You were hurt and I ordered you to stay behind. There was no way you could have helped. As a matter of fact, I owe you an apology for that one. You are completely unsuited to that kind of fighting and I knew how bad it was going to be. And I took you anyway because I wanted you with me. That one is pretty high up there on really crappy things to do, too. I did it because I didn't want to die alone. I did it because just having you near me made me feel better. You were my goddamned security blanket and I almost got you killed because I'm so weak."

"Well, maybe in a year or so after my own euphoria has died down, I'll think about it and get really angry and we will have another fight. But then you're assuming that you had a choice about whether to take me on that final mission or not. You wouldn't have been able to stop me."

Shepard smiled. "True enough. I did get the strong sense that you wanted to join me. But if I had known that you were potentially pregnant…" Shepard leaned forward and kissed the top of Liara's head. "So, Garrus hasn't filed any reports yet. Do you want to tell me where the hell you all were the last two years?"

"We still don't know exactly what happened. Before we got back here, we didn't even know that the same energy wave that took out the reapers, took out the geth and Edi too. We were a little late hitting the relay to get to the rendezvous point because your helmsman wanted to wait for you. As we were hitting it, we were hit by the shockwave from the Crucible. Suddenly, Edi just disappeared. She just wasn't there anymore. It was chaos. We lost navigation, we lost sensors, we lost communications, everything really, except flight controls. If it wasn't for Jeff, I am convinced that we wouldn't have made it. Jeff managed to half-land, half-crash us on a habitable planet once we exited. The only problem was that we had no clue where we were. We had significant damage. With navigation down when we hit the relay, we were just tossed through space-time without any record of how we got there. Turns out, we were tossed out in a system with an undiscovered relay, outside of mapped space. Of course, the relay was all but destroyed by the energy wave so we had to try to guess where we were and try to make it back here at FTL speeds alone. When I think about it, it is a miracle we got back here. We got lucky and found enough eezo. We got lucky and were able to find or manufacture enough food. We got lucky so many times. Not to mention that the Normandy has some very smart and talented people."

Shepard was quiet and Liara thought she saw a look of pain flash on her face as Liara was telling the story. Finally, Shepard spoke.

"So, there was no way to get to a system where there might have been a working communications buoy? Did you all consider it?"

"We discussed it at length. We had a choice. Either we diverted to a known system that might or might not have a working buoy or we made a straight run to get back here as quickly as possible. Garrus made the final decision but everyone agreed with it. At least, all the senior crew. If we diverted to a system and the comm buoy was not working, it would have needlessly added months or maybe even a year to our journey. After seeing what had happened to the mass relay in that system where we were stranded, we didn't want to take the chance."

"I trust that you all made the right decision then. Some of the communication relays were still intact after the wave but most were destroyed just like the mass relays. It would have been a very risky gamble." Shepard paused, the guilt returning to the forefront of her mind again. "So, how is Jeff? How has he been dealing with Edi's death?"

"He was a completely different person at first. He insisted on continuing his piloting duties but he was all business. No jokes, no laughter. All we could do is offer our companionship and support. He's better now. More like his old self but…"

"God. He lost so much. First his family at Tiptree and then Edi. It's not fair."

Liara saw the tears developing in Shepard's eyes and decided that she needed to try to lighten the mood again. Liara smiled. "So, now it's your turn, Our Savior. According to some of the news reports that I read today, you single-handedly killed all the Reapers. How, exactly, did you manage that one?"

"I think you know the whole story. Anderson and I managed to make it to the beam. We were transported up to the Citadel. We found the arm controls and managed to get the arms open. The Crucible docked. At that point, Anderson succumbed to his injuries. I was then contacted by Admiral Hackett who said that the Crucible was not firing. I went back to the control panel, hit some buttons and then passed out. The rest is history. I didn't do anything but hit some buttons. Hardly Savior-like stuff. "

Liara chuckled a little. Shepard recounted the story with little detail and less emotion. Liara could tell that Shepard was not being entirely honest with her.

"You missed your calling. You should have been a storyteller. You could make anything sound as boring as taking out the garbage."

Shepard just shrugged in response.

"I'm sorry about Anderson. I know he was like a father to you. We found out about his death from Hackett before we hit the relay."

"He was a good man. I was actually thinking of writing that biography of him. The one that he and that reporter were working on before the invasion? Maybe my learned girlfriend can help me with that? You know, to keep it from being as boring as taking out the garbage."

"Absolutely. I'd be honored." Liara thought about it a moment more. "You do mean me, don't you? Are there any other girlfriends out there that I need to worry about?"

"No. I don't think I've made any friends of any kind in the last two years. I've been a little…moody while you were away. And what about you? Is there anyone on the crew who you became close with?"

"No. Everyone became close because we had to rely on only each other the last two years but there was no one that I became especially close with. Everyone knew that I thought you were still alive so no one even made the offer. Though I think some of the crew thought I was just deluded and there was no way you survived. I also think Uncle Garrus would have scared off any suitors. He was a little protective of me in your absence."

"Good man, that Garrus."

Liara grinned and said "Of course, we did come across a couple new sentient races in our travels and as an asari, it was my obligation to see if we really can mate with any sentient being in the galaxy. You know, it was a religious thing."

Shepard pulled Liara on top of her body and started tickling her sides.

"Oh really? Were they at least cute aliens?"

Liara was giggling too much to respond.

"Uncle! Please stop!" Liara said while trying to get control of herself. Shepard stopped tickling Liara and pulled in her tighter against her body.

"We really did meet new sentient races. But they were primitives. Goddess, I feel like Javik saying that."

"The Xenobiologists and Xenoanthropologists will be thrilled."

Serious again, Liara asked quietly, "So, how did you do with that promise we made to each other? The one where we promised each other that if one of us died, the other would continue to live her life and try to be happy?"

Shepard sighed. "Not so well, I'm afraid. I was getting on with my life. I did my duty. But the happiness part was a little elusive. I was still working on it. Thankfully, I won't need to work on it anymore."

Shepard leaned forward as Liara lifted her head and kissed Liara's lips. Without any additional prodding, Shepard confessed further.

"I broke a piano player's nose. And I might have shot a reporter's camera. A few fights here and there. I haven't killed anyone since the war ended so I think I deserve credit for that."

Liara lifted her head off Shepard's chest and looked at her quizzically.

"Okay, the camera needs no explanation but why did you break a piano player's nose?"

"He was playing your song."

"Oh well, in that case, I would have broken his fingers. As long as you're confessing, are you going to tell me what really happened on Citadel once you made it up the beam?"

Liara felt her lover's body tighten a little underneath her. _So there really is something there and it has to do with what happened with the crucible. _Liara had sensed a big, black hole in the middle of her lover's psyche during their melds but she had been pushed back from it. Shepard was hiding something from her. Liara decided to let it drop for now, knowing that she had her own black holes that she was protecting Shepard from as well. Liara knew that they both had some healing to do and that it would take some time.

"The real question is, why are we talking when we should be making love? This is a serious problem that must be taken care of immediately!"

With that, Shepard rolled over on top of Liara and started kissing and licking her way down Liara's body.

The next morning, Shepard awoke to the sound of the buzzer at the door. She rushed to go answer it before it woke Liara up too. She threw on her shirt that just barely came down to her upper thighs and answered the door. It was Garrus.

Garrus tried hard not to look anywhere but Shepard's eyes. "Ah, sorry to bother you Shepard but Benezia needs her mother. And that Lieutenant of yours is looking all over for you."

"Is Benezia crying? Is she upset?"

"No. But we're running out of bottles and she's causing mischief."

"She's a baby, Garrus. How much mischief can she be causing?" Shepard turned away from Garrus and scanned the room as she spoke.

"She almost fired the cannon in dock!"

Shepard located the small refrigerator and fished out a couple of bottles. She went back to the door and pressed them against Garrus's chest. "And how did she get up to the Bridge? You must be getting slow if a baby can get that far away from you. Now, Liara and I aren't finished talking yet. We'll be out shortly. Until then, we are not to be disturbed."

Before Garrus could say anything, Shepard spoke again, "Oh and could you get Liara some juice and energy bars? She's getting a little peckish and she needs her strength." With that, Shepard closed the door in Garrus's shocked face.

A short time later, Garrus was at the door again. When Shepard answered the door, she took the food from Garrus's arms, said "you're a good man, Garrus" and closed and locked the door again before Garrus could say a word. A few hours later, Shepard woke up again to the sound of the lock on the door being bypassed. Before she could react, Tali walked in the room holding Benezia out in front of her at arm's length. Shepard quickly pulled the covers up over herself and Liara.

"Tali! The door was locked for a reason! What if we had been busy?"

"I don't care, Shepard. Benezia is not reacting well to the formula that Liara is trying to get her on. I've already had to clean my suit and I'm not decontaminating again."

"What is that smell?!"

"That's your daughter, Shepard. Like I said, she is not reacting well to the new formula."

Liara woke up and quickly smelled the situation.

"Don't put her on the bed! Shepard, bring her over to the table and change her."

Shepard sighed, got up, put her shirt back on and then took the squirming baby to the changing table.

"My God, how can something so small and cute create such a big, horrible smell?"

"That's it. I'm out of here." Tali turned and quickly left the room.

"Ah, Liara. Need some help here. I've never done this before and it's all over." Shepard scrunched up her nose. "And it appears that she's not done yet."

Liara got up and moved to where Shepard was standing over Benezia. Shepard made a move to leave but Liara grabbed her arm.

"Get back here, Shepard. I'm going to teach you a new skill."

"This is why they are so cute. If they weren't, the first time they did this, we'd say 'okay, I'm out' and leave them alone in the woods or something."

Benezia saw her naked mother, reached out an arm and started crying.

"Why is she crying?"

"She wants my breast. She's hungry. The formula obviously went right through her."

"Well, I can't blame her for wanting your breast but how can she think about eating while she's pooping? I mean, I'm all for efficiency but that's a bit much."

Liara smiled. "At this age, they are all just about what they need. Nothing else matters to them. They want something and they want it now. Kind of like how you are all the time."

"Very funny. Now, why don't you begin and I'll watch and learn."

"I believe you will learn better if you are hands- on. Now get in there and do your duty. Welcome to parenthood, Shepard."


	38. Chapter 38

Liara was poring over the reports on Thessia from a terminal in Central Operations, trying to catch up on two years of news about her home planet. Shepard had granted the returning crew access to everything but the most classified reports so that they could find news about their respective homeworlds and try to locate missing family and friends. Shepard had decided it was 'take your daughter to work' day and had been running all over the Citadel all day with Benezia perched on one hip and in the crook of an arm, returning only so that Liara could feed her. Liara had decided after the failed formula attempts that she would continue to breast feed Benezia for the time being.

Liara smiled as she saw Shepard returning, Benezia still on her hip.

"You're going to spoil her, Shepard. You need to let her down on her own two feet instead of being carted around like a goddess all day."

"Later. It's only been a day."

"I'm surprised that she is letting you carry her. She usually wants to be running off here and there, getting into trouble."

"She's a baby, Liara. How much trouble can she be?"

"You'll see", Liara said with another smile.

"I think she's fascinated by all the new sights and faces. She seems happy to take it all in from the safety and comfort of her father's hip."

Liara shook her head and chuckled.

"It's amazing to me how quickly she has taken to you. She's definitely not as shy as I was at her age."

Shepard looked at Liara's monitor. _She wants to go to Thessia. Of course, she'll want to go to Thessia_. Shepard passed Benezia over to Liara so that she could be fed.

"Your father should be here soon."

Shepard remembered the quick two word message she had sent to Aethyta as soon as she found out Liara was still alive: she's here!

"I haven't had a chance to send her a message yet."

"I did it for you. We had been in contact."

"You were in contact with her in my absence? How do you know she'll come?"

"She felt sorry for me and she kind of took me on as a project, I think. And I know she'll come. She missed you."

_Unexpected_, Liara thought. _She was out of my life for a 109 years and then she comes to check up on my bondmate? _"I'll have to thank her for that."

"Yeah, she actually is a pretty wise woman. Not the most diplomatic and a little rough around the edges, to say the least, but overall, a great person. But you must NEVER tell her that I said that. She enjoys torturing me for her own amusement."

_Remind you of anyone, Shepard?_ Liara thought but said instead, "I'm glad if she helped you out while I was away."

"She did. You know I think I've seen everyone in here today except for Javik. Do you know how he's doing?"

"About as well as could be expected. His people are all gone, his mission is complete. Vengeance is his. I'm not sure he knows what to do with himself."

"So, did you two get close on the journey back here?"

Liara thought about it. "I'm not sure Javik gets close to anyone but I would say that we are friends, I guess. I don't know that he'd admit it but, yes, we're friends."

"Weird how I haven't seen much of him." _Almost like he's avoiding me_, Shepard thought.

"We wrote a book together. About the prothean history with the asari. That one we talked about before you left."

"I'll have to read it some time."

Shepard was loping away when something bothered her, stopped her in her tracks and sent her loping back to stand next to Liara.

"Okay, 'we wrote a book together'. That's not any kind of euphemism, is it? You can tell me anything, you know and I won't be upset. You were gone for a long time and I'd understand."

Liara sighed. "No Shepard. By 'we wrote a book together', I mean 'we wrote a book together.' We both needed something to keep ourselves occupied during the long journey."

Shepard sat down next to Liara. "Okay. It's not that I don't believe you or anything but it's all just a little overwhelming."

"I know, Shepard. I know all about that."

"I trust you with my life and my heart, Liara. I'm just feeling a little insecure here. I've been a little out of the loop."

"Shepard. They have these applications that will tell you the exact age of any sentient child. You can get it right on your omnitool. If you get one, you will see that Benezia is exactly 1 year, 2 months and 2 days old. Add roughly 10 months for the standard asari gestation period and that will lead you back to the last time we were together right before taking down Cerberus."

"I'm sorry, Liara. I don't mean to hurt your feelings. I'm just in total shock here. You have me at a disadvantage. You can go into my head and see that it's really me and that I'm really here. I just have my five limited senses and my gut."

"You are in my head when I am in yours. But I deserve it, I suppose. After I lost control, I should have told you that it was at least a possibility. You're still in shock. What does your gut tell you?"

Shepard smiled. "My gut tells me good things."

Liara shifted Benezia to her other breast and punched at her omnitool.

"Okay. And this is for your eyes and brain. I just purchased the application. Punch in Earth days. And then hit this button here."

Liara showed the results to Shepard. Asari: full term, 1 year, 2 months and two days old, estimated date of conception 733 days prior. Liara held her arm out to Shepard. "Would you like to verify that my omnitool has not been tampered with?"

Instead, Shepard put her arm on Liara's shoulder, leaned forward and kissed Liara carefully, so as not to disturb her feeding daughter.

"It wouldn't have mattered, you know. If she wasn't mine and you still wanted to be with me, I would have loved her as my own regardless."

Liara smiled. "I know that, Shepard. I've been in that head of yours."

Shepard looked at her feeding daughter and could not keep the smile off her face as she spoke. She reached out a hand to gently stroke Benezia's budding scalp crests.

"We've just met so I think I can be objective here…"

"Okay" Liara responded.

"I think she is the most beautiful child of any species, anywhere, anytime, in the whole history of the Universe."

Liara chuckled. "Sounds perfectly objective to me."

An hour later, Garrus came into Central Operations for the first time that day. He walked over to Liara. Liara smiled as she saw him approach.

"So, how's she doing, Liara? Did she tell you the real story behind what happened on the Citadel? I read the reports and articles about it and it just doesn't make sense. I talked to Hackett about her when I gave my report and he said she has been different since the war. He attributed it to the Normandy and you being lost."

"I think she's still in shock. I don't think the last two years have been easy for her. I asked her about what really happened to end the war and she just repeats what she put in her report."

"It doesn't make sense. The Crucible wasn't firing. Shepard is radio-silent for over 17 minutes and then suddenly, the Crucible fires and takes out the reapers? I wonder if she felt bad when she learned that the Crucible took out the geth? And now, she knows that it took out Edi too. I wonder how it really went down?"

"I don't know, Garrus but I don't want to push her on it. She will tell me when she's ready. How's your family doing? How is Palaven coming with the repairs?"

Garrus smiled. "Family is good. My father is still healthy and my sister actually got married while we were away. Some war hero that my father loves giving a hard time to. Palaven, from what I can gather, is rebuilding slowly. We won't be back to where we were for years, maybe decades, but at least, we finally managed to get our relay up again. I hear that the rebuilding effort on Thessia is going well."

Liara smiled wearily at Garrus. "Yes, but still a long way to go. It's embarrassing to say but it seems that the asari already knew how to repair the relays when the war ended. It seems that we had been working on the technology for years prior without letting the Council or any of the other races know."

Garrus teased Liara. "Sneaky asari. I hate it when our races live up to their stereotypes."

Liara stood up and faced Garrus. "Speaking of sneaky asari, I have a favor to ask. I have Shepard's credit chit. Could you go buy her a new space hamster to replace the one that died? You can then just return it with the rest of her stuff and she'll never know."

"Seriously Liara? It's a rodent."

"Come on, Garrus. You know how much she loved that thing. It will make her feel good. She's been through so much."

"You mean, getting her bondmate and her child back to her wasn't enough to make her feel good? She needs her rat, too?"

Liara smiled and handed Garrus the credit chit. "Feel free to get you and Tali whatever you need as well."

Garrus rolled his eyes. "Where should I bring everything that was in her cabin? Her apartment?"

Liara frowned. "No. Better bring it here and put it in her office. Her office is actually bigger and nicer than the dump she's been living in."

"What about all the dead fish? Do I have to bring them back from the dead as well?"

Liara just smiled again as Garrus left.

A few hours later, Shepard returned once again to Central Operations with Benezia so that her daughter could be fed and then put down for her nap. Liara had already started to miss Benezia so she was happy to squirrel her away back to the Normandy for a few hours. Samantha Traynor was sitting at one of the available terminals going over news reports. Shepard went over to see her just as her assistant was speaking to Samantha.

"I'm sure that Admiral Hackett would have liked to present the offer himself but he is just incredibly busy. He wanted me to pass on just how much he appreciated your service to the Alliance and to the Normandy." Astrea told Traynor as she gave her the datapad that she had been carrying. Astrea smiled at Samantha and spoke again. "I read some of the reports about the Normandy both during and after the war. You must be very proud of your accomplishments."

"I'm proud of what we have been able to do together. It really was a team effort." Samatha smiled back at Astrea. "Did Admiral Hackett tell you how long I have to respond?"

Astrea leaned in closer to Samantha and briefly touched the datapad in her hand. "I believe it's in the offer. I would think that he knows how disorientated you all must be at this point so I imagine it isn't going away any time soon. I imagine you have at least until your leave is over."

Astrea straightened up as Admiral Shepard approached. "Can I help you, Admiral? Is there anything that you need?"

"I think I'm almost done with today's agenda. Did any new fires start while I was out?" Shepard asked.

"I'll have to go check. Admiral Hackett was insistent that I pass out these offers from the Alliance as quickly as possible. He said something about not letting some of our best people get 'poached' by private companies though I'm not exactly sure what that term means."

"Stolen. And I imagine that our talented Specialist Traynor here was near the top of that list."

"She is very impressive, ma'am." Astrea blushed a little when she realized what she had said and quickly moved away. "I'll go check on things and then get back to you, Admiral."

Shepard grinned as she watched Astrea leave. She had never noticed before but the asari had an attractive figure and her face was also easy on the eyes. Shepard got an evil thought. She leaned against the desk that Traynor was worked on.

"So, my assistant likes you."

Traynor's eyes got wide as she realized what Shepard had said. "What?! No. Why would you say something like that? She just brought me an offer from the Alliance."

"I think she does. What are they offering you?"

"A field commission to Lieutenant and a hefty signing bonus. Are you going to give me the speech about how much the Alliance needs me and how much good I can do if I remain?"

"Nope. You know all that already. Besides, you've already done your part. If you want to go work for some amoral, amorphous, anonymous, soulless mega-corporation that will make you a rich but sad and unfulfilled woman, then you should do it. I'm sure they just rent your soul for the devil and they don't actually buy it outright."

Shepard laughed as Samantha rolled her eyes.

"Seriously Sam, you need to do what's going to make you happy. You really have done your part already." Shepard grinned again and leaned forward. "You get lucky last night?"

"Shepard! I'll have you know that a lady never discusses such things."

"I'm not talking about any lady, I'm talking about you. And I'll take that as a no. Let me tell you about Lieutenant Astrea. She was with me from the beginning, helping to rebuild the Citadel. I mean, she was literally one of the first people I met after I woke up and she has been a huge help to me since then. She is very intelligent and I've never seen anyone with such organizational skills, well, except for Liara and she's just a freak. I don't know if we would have saved the Citadel without her and we definitely would have lost more people if it weren't for her. She is also very dedicated and a very pleasant person to work with."

"Why are you telling me this, Shepard? Just because you fell for an asari, doesn't mean that every woman who fancies other women wants that."

"You know what they say, Traynor: after you go blue, nothing else will do. Well, it's absolutely true."

Samantha rolled her eyes again.

"I don't know her. And I hate being set up. It's always so awkward. You know how neurotic I can be. And then, I don't know what would make me more nervous. If she liked me or hated me. I mean, kissing someone for the first time can be stressful enough. Just the physical part. And then what if it progressed from there? It's hard enough getting naked in front of someone else, never mind having to worry about them going in your head. God, can you imagine? Someone in my head? How terrifying would that be for both of us?"

Shepard laughed again. "Getting ahead of yourself a little there, aren't you? I'm just talking about two people getting to know each other a little better. I realize that it's been a long two years but you don't need to jump into bed with someone just because you go out on a date with them. Though Astrea might be into that. I don't know her well enough outside of work to know whether she is looking just for some fun or something more serious. My guess is it's the latter. She's never even been a minute late to work and has never taken an extra day off. I do think she's interested in you though. And she's a tad neurotic too so you might really hit it off."

"Well, I've got too much to think about already without having that to worry about. God, if there's anything worse than one neurotic person on a date, it's two."

"Just try to stay open to life's possibilities, Sam. You never know where something might lead and you might regret it if you don't take advantage of an opportunity when it comes along."

Samantha decided to go the offensive. She continued to look at her screen as she deadpanned, "Of course, I've seen Liara naked and the asari are remarkably similar to us. And if Astrea's body is even half as hot as Liara's…"

Shepard crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Samantha. "You see that marine over there? All it would take is a nod of my head and he would arrest you. Then all I would have to say is 'airlock' and out you would go."

Traynor looked at Shepard and burst out laughing. "Liara told me that you were jealous of us sharing the shower together. I thought it was hilarious that you might be jealous of little ole me."

"I'm going to have a discussion with Ms. T'Soni about her choice of conversation topics and I wasn't jealous of you. Not really. I was just a little irrational at the time. She's drives me a little insane."

"Well, with a body like that, I can see why!"

"Either you've developed a death wish in the last two years or you have sex on the brain. I know how I might be able to solve that little problem. I'll just go to Astrea over there and tell her that you're interested."

At that, Shepard turned and started walking towards her assistant. The smile left Traynor's face and she jumped up to grab Shepard's arm.

"No, no, no! Please, don't do it! I'm begging you."

Shepard turned back to Samatha with a smirk on her face. "Maybe from now on, you'll keep your eyes and your thoughts off my asari. Let me know if you change your mind about Astrea. Now, what I came here for. Where's my credit chit?"

"I gave it back to Liara."

"Okay. Great. I'll see you later, Sam. Think about what I said." Shepard grinned at Traynor before turning towards her office.

Shepard just managed to take her seat in her office when she was interrupted by her assistant.

"I just checked everything and nothing else has popped up for today except that Hackett wants to have a brief meeting with you at six."

"Good. I was hoping to get out of here early tonight. Did he say what he needed to speak to me about?"

"Just about the returning crew, I would imagine."

"In that case, I have just a few more things to do today. You can leave early if you like. No need for you to hang around until six."

"Okay, thank you, Admiral."

It was a few moments before Shepard realized that Astrea had not left. Shepard looked at her assistant quizzically.

"Is there anything else, Lieutenant?"

"I have a question of a more personal nature."

"Okay, shoot."

"You are bonded to an asari?"

"Well, not officially yet but yes. You've met Liara. Why do you ask?"

"I am aware that most human women are not interested in asari romantically. That most human women are, I believe the term is, straight. We have nothing analogous in asari culture. It is not uncommon for an asari to develop a preference for one species or gender but it is very fluid."

"Right. Most human women are interested in males and humans see asari as female. Most humans have a gender preference romantically but it is along a continuum." Shepard chuckled. "When it comes to the asari, I have noticed that a good percentage of straight human female's preferences get a little more fluid as you say."

Lieutenant didn't say anything else and seemed to be processing the information. Shepard grinned as she continued.

"Specialist Traynor is a lesbian, in case you were wondering. That means that she is interested in females romantically."

"I see. Are you sure that you don't need anything else, Admiral?"

"No. You're done. Get out of here and have a nice night."

"Thank you, Shepard. I will be available on my omnitool if you need me."

Shepard buzzed Liara who answered immediately.

"Hi honey. Good news. I've got a conference with Hackett at six but should be out of here shortly after that. I miss you two. How's Benezia?"

Liara smiled. "We've only been gone an hour and she is sleeping soundly. Are we staying here on the Normandy again tonight?"

"I'll get us a room in a nice hotel. I'll come to the Normandy and pick you up when I'm done."

"I look forward to it. I love you."

"I love you too."

Shepard smiled again. "Do you have any idea how good it feels to be able to call you and say that to you whenever I want?"

"I do. I used to talk to you in my head all the time while we were gone. Now I can do it in person. And not feel like a crazy person."

"Oh, I almost forgot. You have my credit chit, right?"

"I gave it to Garrus. He and Tali needed a few things."

"I will be so glad when the crew gets their back pay. I don't even want to look at my account to see what the damage is."

A little later, Shepard left her office to go finish the afternoon's agenda and noticed Astrea still sitting at her desk outside her office. Shepard noticed that she had been looking at Samantha who was still sitting at one of the terminals. She then caught Traynor glancing up towards Astrea. When their eyes met, they both quickly looked away. Shepard only shook her head as she left Central Operations.

About an hour later, Shepard returned to Operations, anxious to get the call with Hackett over with so she could go meet Liara and Benezia. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Lieutenant Astrea still seated at her desk. Shepard looked back across the room and noticed Samantha still sitting at her terminal. Both women looked away when they saw Shepard. _This is getting absurd_, Shepard thought. Shepard went over to Astrea and stood before her.

"Lieutenant? Please come with me."

Shepard marched over to Traynor with Astrea following behind her. Shepard watched as Samantha's eyes got bigger as they approached and she shook her head slightly at Shepard. Shepard stood ramrod straight before the two women.

"Specialist Samantha Traynor, this is Lieutenant Astrea Malava though I believe you've already met. I have an assignment for you two. I need you two to go down to the new Silversun Strip tonight and give me a report about the progress on the repairs there. I need to know that all the businesses there are open and operating so I expect you to act as secret shoppers so to speak. I expect to be briefed tomorrow morning at ten. Understood?"

Traynor balked and said indignantly, "You can't give me orders. I'm not even officially Alliance."

"You are still Alliance for another couple days at least. Don't make me court-marshal you now for not following orders, Specialist. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to report to Hackett in exactly one minute." Shepard pivoted and marched back to her office.

"Wait! I don't even have any credits!"

"That's okay, Specialist Traynor, I have a chit that we can use. I'm sure that the Admiral will reimburse me any expenses that we incur." Astrea paused as she shifted awkwardly on her feet. She then smiled at Samantha. "It will be an honor to work with you."

Shepard stood before her desk as Hackett finished his briefing.

"I've finished some of the debriefings with some of the returning crew and it really is a remarkable story."

"Agreed. The Normandy crew might end up being more well-known for their journey through uncharted space than for their actions during the War. Liara tells me that they scanned and cataloged more than a few garden worlds along the way. When population pressures start mounting again, it will be incredibly useful to have new systems to colonize."

"I'm sure it's only a matter of time before some government or corporation mounts a mission to get those new relays repaired."

"And I hope that in the spirit of the cooperation that we are trying to foster that the Alliance will make this new information available to all the races, sir?"

"If I have any say in it, it will be. Besides, it was a multi-species crew so I think the cats out of the bag already anyway. I hear that congratulations are in order, Admiral?"

Shepard couldn't help but get a large grin on her face at the thought of her daughter.

"Yes sir. Thank you. She's a beautiful, healthy girl and I couldn't be happier."

"Glad to hear it, Shepard. I can't even imagine what a shock this must be for you."

"That it is. I don't think it's really sunk in yet. I'm sure once it does, the happiness will be replaced by sheer terror. Parenting is just not a skill that I have. Speaking of additions to the crew, I take it that no adverse action will be taken against any crewmen who returned with more family members than when they left?"

"Not a problem. From what I've heard so far, with a few minor temporary exceptions, every member of the crew performed their duties with exceptional courage and professionalism. On that long a journey, it was almost inevitable that this would happen." Hackett gave a rare smile. "Especially when their Commanding Officer led the way in that regard."

Shepard thought briefly about telling Hackett that it wasn't her fault but quickly decided against it. There were some things that her commanding officer just didn't need to know. Instead she just smiled and shrugged her shoulders. Shepard started to feel just a little antsy and wanted to return to said daughter and her mother as quickly as possible.

"Is there anything else that we need to discuss, sir?"

"Well, I'm afraid I have some bad news for you, Shepard. Since the utter destruction of the third Shepard statue, the Council has decided not to build another one until the perpetrators are caught."

Shepard shook her head slowly and deadpanned, "I'm very sorry to hear that, sir."

"I'm sure that you are. Since you took command of the Citadel, overall crime levels have remained low when compared to pre-war levels except for property damage to statuary. How do you explain this?"

Shepard maintained a serious expression. "I'm afraid I can't, sir. I consider it one of my greatest failures as an officer that this egregious action happened on my watch but I can assure you that I will devote as much time and resources as I deem necessary to catch the perpetrators of this heinous crime."

"Uh huh. That will be all, Admiral. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Have a good night, sir"

Shepard started running for her office door before Hackett even completely flickered out of view.


	39. Chapter 39

Shepard broke several traffic laws first speeding to the nicest hotel on the Citadel to book a small suite and then broke several more driving back to the docks to pick up Liara and Benezia. Luckily, since she was the Commander of the Citadel, C Sec didn't even try to stop her from speeding any longer as she had always gotten off previously by saying she was on 'official Citadel business'. After having their first dinner together as a family (featuring roasted chicken for the elders and breast milk for the younger), they spent the next few hours playing with Benezia until the poor girl just couldn't keep her eyes open any longer. Liara was pretty sure that Shepard pouted more than Benezia did when Liara demanded that it was time for their daughter to go to bed.

It was Shepard's and Liara's second night together and they were both tired. The past two days had been a whirlwind of activity with Shepard rushing to get her crew set up, reunited with family and all the hundreds of details that went along with the 'Ghost Ship' returning. Despite their fatigue, they took a bath together in the large jetted tub in their bathroom and then made love until they themselves could hardly keep their eyes open any longer. Both women were lying on the bed, the covers in disarray. Liara was on her side with her head on Shepard's shoulder. Shepard realized that she was still too excited to really sleep and Liara seemed to be having the same problem.

"So explain to me how everyone else in the crew got set up with a luxury apartment gratis for as long as they want while I'm in a hotel."

"Well, there is this Gentleman who is re-building like crazy on the Citadel. If he is successful in convincing the good people of the galaxy that the Citadel is safe and the place to be, he will become a rich man. Well, an even richer man. I just pointed out to him what great advertising it would be to have the heroes of the Normandy living in his apartments."

_Something not quite right there_, Liara thought. "So, he let you just have all those apartments for as long as the crew wishes just as an advertising expense? Even though apartments are still at a premium on the Citadel?"

"Well, he might also be involved in the illegal trade of Eezo and I might have pointed out to him how quickly his permits would be pulled if that ever got out. Decided it was worth it because at least he is a known quantity. He doesn't kill people unlike many of the other illegal Eezo dealers."

"And it was okay to extort this man to get apartments for your friends but to do so for yourself would have been downright unethical?"

"It's a grey universe, Liara, but there is still some black and white. Using one's position for one's own personal gain is one of those black and white things. The crew deserves a free apartment and more. And if I can help get it for them, I'm going to do it. And if I can get it from one of the bloodsuckers who actually made money from the war, all the better."

"Yes, Queen of the Girl Scouts. I understand that but understand that we are not staying in that hole of yours. We'll have to find something else if we are staying here. And I seem to remember that you and I were part of the Normandy crew as well."

"Spoiled Rich Girl. And is there somewhere else where you would like to go?"

Liara smiled and snuggled in closer to Shepard, "wherever you are."

"But...?"

Shepard felt Liara straighten her body a little as if gearing up to discuss something important.

"I would like, at some point, not necessarily now, to go see Thessia. It would be good for me to see with my own eyes how things are going, to see if there is anything that I can do to help."

At this, Shepard gently removed her arm from underneath Liara's head and turned over on her side so that she could look Liara in the eye.

"Well, there's something that I'd like to discuss with you."

"Uh oh. Sounds serious."

"I'd like for us to get married."

Liara smiled._ Not too much of a shock. Shepard was not the type to lack commitment once she made a decision about something. _"Are you asking me to marry you? I thought you didn't even believe in marriage. An antiquated institution, is what you called it, I believe."

"It is. But for some reason, I want to do it anyway. I want to spend my life with you and I don't want to wait another minute. I want to give our daughters the family that I never had."

Liara felt her heart flutter in her chest. _Again, not too shocking. _Liara had watched Shepard fall hard for a young asari girl in the last two days. "Our daughters? With an 's'?"

"Well, that's one of the other things that I wanted to talk to you about. I want to have another child. I don't want to wait. I'm only going to be around for another 100 years or so and I want to see our kids grow up."

Liara felt the rip current taking her off her feet and sweeping her out to sea. She leaned forward and kissed Shepard's lips. "You don't want much, do you? You realize that I am only 113 years old and I'm not supposed to be doing this whole settling down and having children thing for another 200 years?"

"Well, if it's not what you want, then I'll understand..." Before Shepard could say another word, Liara leaned in and gave her another deep kiss. "There's nothing that I would like more. There's nothing else that I've dreamed about for the last three years.", Liara said when she finally broke off the kiss. _She is choosing to have a child with me this time. How can I be this lucky? _

"I was thinking that I could resign my commission with the Alliance and we could move to Thessia. We could raise our kids there for the time being. Maybe I'll go back to work doing I don't know what in the future but for right now, I just want to be your wife and help raise our children."

Liara lay motionless, her mouth open. _Wow. Okay. Now I'm shocked. When has she even had time to think about all this? How did she even know that I wanted to go to back to Thessia? I wonder what it would be like to know Shepard and not be constantly worried that she is going to be shot? _Liara reached out her hand to touch Shepard's forehead.

"Are you sure you aren't ill?"

Shepard looked into Liara's eyes, a serious expression on her face.

"We've known each other for what, five and a half years now? And how much of that time have we been able to spend together? And I've been in the Alliance since I was 18 years old. It's been duty and responsibilities and expectations the whole time. Haven't I earned the right to step back and do what I want for a change? Haven't I done my part and earned a little break?" Liara saw the tears well in Shepard's eyes. Liara felt the tears well up in her own eyes in response. Liara moved her body flush to Shepard's and wrapped her arm around her.

"I'm assuming that's a rhetorical question because I think you know my thoughts on the matter."

Liara knew that Shepard was exhausted. She knew that Shepard was just sick and tired of her job on the Citadel but she also knew that it was more than that. For a brief second, she saw a haunted look in her lover's eyes before Shepard became aware that she was revealing too much. _I might not have to worry about bullets any more but I still have to worry. This has something to do with what happened on the Citadel, with the crucible, after I deserted her, during the Battle for Earth. _Liara made the decision not to push._ She will tell me when she's ready to_. She decided to lighten the mood again.

"So, what you're saying is that you, Admiral Shepard, hero to the galaxy, want to be a housewife? You'll have to excuse me if I find that hard to believe."

"Not just a housewife. I might try fishing too."

"I give it six months, a year if I'm lucky."

"Well, I wanna give it a try anyway. And there's something else I want."

Shepard pushed her body closer still to Liara's and grinned.

"There's more?!"

"Yes. I want to be in bed, naked with you, as much as possible. As much as Bene will allow us to be. I don't know if there is a record for such a thing but I want to try to break it."

Liara chuckled. "Well, sometimes when an asari tries to conceive, it doesn't take right away so we might have to work at it."

"Now you see, that's exactly the type of work I'm looking for!"


	40. Chapter 40

Liara was sitting at Shepard's desk in her office at Central Operations going over more reports about the current condition of the galaxy. The other terminals provided for the returning members of the Normandy were are being used so Shepard allowed Liara access to her private terminal. There had been so much death and so much destruction from the war that no race was even close to rebuilding to pre-war conditions. As Liara was thinking about how much still needed to be done, the light on Shepard's terminal started blinking indicating an incoming call. Liara hit a button and saw that the communication was from Admiral Hackett. Shepard's resignation from the Alliance would be hitting his desk about now and Liara could guess what the call was about. Liara felt herself getting angry. _It's never enough, is it? _Liara thought about it for a moment and then hit the button to accept the call. Admiral Hackett flickered into view and for a brief moment, he looked surprised.

"Dr. T'Soni. I heard that you had made it back safely. Welcome home."

"Thank you, Admiral Hackett. How are you doing?"

"I'm just fine. Thank you for asking. Have you been in contact with Thessia yet?"

"I have. There is still much to be done but we are rebuilding, slowly but surely. How can I help you?"

"I was hoping to speak with Shepard."

"She is not here. May I help you with something?"

Hackett blinked. He cleared his throat before continuing. "I understand that you two are getting married. Congratulations." He paused, considering his words. "But there is still so much that needs to be done. Shepard is good at getting things done. And beyond that, she is a source of inspiration to so many."

"She's already made her decision, Admiral. I had nothing to do with it. But I support her decision and I think it's something that she needs to do." Liara crossed her arms in front of her chest, her eyes and voice cold.

"I can make sure that she continues to have a position that is relatively safe. You wouldn't have to worry about her being on the frontlines in any fighting that might occur."

"Let me ask you something, Admiral. Since she somehow managed to survive the near-destruction of the Citadel, has she had any time off? Time to process everything that happened?"

"No, Doctor T'Soni. Besides the three weeks that she was in the hospital, she's been working non-stop. She has months of leave coming to her. Perhaps, she just needs an extended shore leave?"

"No, Admiral. And I would consider it a personal favor if you don't pressure her about it." Liara considered how much to reveal. "There are some wounds that are unseen and not so easily healed. Shepard is exhausted and she needs time away from…from being Admiral Shepard. She needs to just be a private person for a while."

Hackett didn't respond for a moment.

"Understood. She certainly has earned the right to a private life if anyone has. There was another matter that I wanted to discuss with her. I would be honored to preside at your wedding. Unless, you think it might somehow be uncomfortable for either of you."

"No Admiral. We would both be happy if you would be there."

"In that case, please just let me know where and when and I'll be there."

"Thank you Admiral. I look forward to seeing you again."

Later that morning, Shepard was working on getting her reports caught up when there was a knock on her office door.

"Come on in. It's open."

Shepard smiled when she saw Kaidan walk in but her smile quickly faded when she saw the expression on his face. Kaidan stood ram-rod straight in front of her desk.

"Permission to speak freely, ma'am."

"Jesus, Kaidan. After all we've been through together, do you still need to ask? Have a seat. I can see that you have something on your mind."

Kaidan reluctantly took one of the seats in front of Shepard's desk.

"You recommended that I be given command of the Normandy. You also recommended that I retain my status as a Spectre with the Council."

Kaidan said it as a statement and she could not even begin to guess where this conversation was going. Shepard looked at Kaidan with a confused expression of her face. "Right on both counts. Why, don't you want to continue with the Alliance and as a Spectre?"

"Yes. It's the only job I've ever had and I think I can still do some good."

"I agree. The galaxy is still reeling from the War and it's still a dangerous place. So, what's the problem? I think that Hackett and the Council will take my recommendation."

"I just have to know something, Shepard. Why didn't you want me to have command of the Normandy? How come you wanted Garrus in charge instead?"

"I don't understand. I thought that it was decided by a vote among the crew? I had nothing to do with it. I wasn't even there!"

"They found out about your letter, Shepard. About how you wanted Garrus to take over command of the Normandy if you died. That's why they voted for Garrus instead of me, the ranking Alliance officer."

Shepard looked at Kaidan, stunned for a moment. The letter that she wrote appointing Garrus her successor was only supposed to go into effect if the crucible failed, the reapers were still alive and she had been killed in action. How did that letter get out? Of course. Edi died. Without her to keep the letter hidden unless the three criteria were met, it would be available for search just like her other records and reports. Shepard rubbed her forehead

"I'm sorry, Kaidan. That letter was to remain a secret unless the crucible failed and the reapers survived. Under any other circumstances, I intended for you to take over command of the Normandy barring superseding orders from our superiors."

"It didn't matter that the crucible appeared to have worked. When the rumor of that letter got out, everyone lost faith in me. They all thought that you believed that I couldn't do the job." Kaidan lowered his eyes to the floor but then his anger resurfaced and he raised his eyes until he was looking Shepard right in the eye. "Just tell me straight up. What is wrong with me as a man and a soldier that you didn't trust me with your ship and your crew?"

Shepard sighed and rubbed her neck. She was quiet for a moment, trying to find the right words to explain.

"There's nothing wrong with you as a man or a soldier, Kaidan. If the crucible failed, it would have gotten even more brutal very fast. There might not even have been enough of the Alliance military left to have a direct chain of command. In my judgment, Garrus was better suited to deal with that kind of war. A hopeless, savage, grinding war of attrition. It's not so much what's wrong with you as what's wrong with Garrus."

"That doesn't make any sense, Shepard. What makes Garrus a better leader than I am?"

"Under normal circumstances, he's not. Against a normal enemy, he's not. Against the reapers when there is no way to defeat them, he would have been. Look Kaidan, you are a kind, compassionate man with a strong, unwavering moral compass. Garrus is kind and compassionate too but he's also a turian. They are raised from birth to put the group, to put victory above any individual. Let me ask you something. If Tali had been indoctrinated by the reapers somehow, do you think Garrus would have hesitated to kill her?"

"No. It would have killed him but he would have done it. Are you trying to say that I can't make the hard decisions? That I would have hesitated to kill an indoctrinated person if I cared about them?"

"I know you can make the hard decisions but yes, I think you would have hesitated. I think you would have finally made the right decision but you would have hesitated and when you're fighting an enemy like the reapers that hesitation might be all they need."

Kaidan's eyes blazed with anger. "So, you wouldn't have hesitated either? You and Garrus are the only two people on the Normandy who were badass enough to do what needs to be done?"

Shepard thought about the Catalyst and the decision she had been forced to make. She thought about how she did hesitate. She thought about how she just didn't want to be the one to make that decision and minutes had ticked away while she hesitated. She briefly thought about telling Kaidan what really happened but she could never do that. No one must ever know! Shepard thought back to another time when she hesitated and she couldn't help but smile at the irony.

"No. I have hesitated more than once but I got lucky and things worked out. Think about it a minute. You're only still alive because I hesitated. I didn't want to kill a friend so I hesitated when you pointed a gun on me on the Citadel. Remember? For all I knew, you could have been indoctrinated. Of course, I could afford to hesitate at that moment because I had Garrus at my back."

Kaidan considered Shepard's words. "You think Garrus would have shot me if I hadn't lowered my weapon?"

"Yup. I think another couple seconds and he would have drilled you right between the eyes. Which brings me to the other quality that Garrus has. He is a turian but he isn't always a very good turian. Most turians would never break the rules. Most turians would never disobey their Commander. Garrus doesn't always have that problem. If the reapers remained, he would have made a deal with the devil himself for even the slimmest chance at victory and then been ready to stab the devil in the back once the job was done. I think you have more of a problem with that."

"And you would deal with the devil to get the job done?"

Shepard let out a little laugh. "Liara tells me that my biggest weakness besides my huge ego is that I always see the good in others, no matter how tiny it is. She says that I always see the angel in the devil so of course, I will work with the devil to get things done. But unlike Garrus, I would have a hard time stabbing the devil in the back once it was done."

Kaidan seemed to be less angry and was starting to relax. Shepard reached into her desk and pulled out a bottle. She raised her eyebrows and Kaidan nodded. He let a little smile cross his lips as Shepard handed him a glass.

"So, you like Bad Boys and Bad Girls? Is that why you were never interested in me despite my devastating good looks?"

Shepard smiled. "Exactly wrong, Kaidan. Except for the devastating good looks part. Liara's not at all a Bad Girl which is why I fell for her. Bad boys and girls don't hold my interest at all because I know the truth about them. I grew up surrounded by Bad Boys and I was destined to become the ultimate Bad Girl but I realized that Bad Boys are not intriguing or complex, they are just fucked up. Most bad boys and girls are just people who have been traumatized and weren't loved enough. Now let me guess. Your parents were in love until the day your father died. You grew up knowing that your parents loved you. Until you went away to Brain Camp, you were raised in a stable, loving home and had never experienced anything terrible?"

"Pretty much. Boring, I know."

"It's not boring. It's how life should start for all kids." Shepard grinned and her eyes sparkled. "Besides, before Liara came along, I was interested in you."

Kaidan blushed. "So, I missed my chance. Because then Liara came along…"

"And it was pretty much all over for me."

Kaidan got serious again. "Say you're right about me, Shepard. Maybe I won't be a very good Spectre. Spectre's have to be able to ignore the rules and ignore morality to get the job done."

"Again, I disagree. Spectres have so much discretion and so much power. A Spectre needs to be someone who respects the rules and has a strong, immutable moral compass." Shepard snorted. "Just look at what happens when they don't. Even before he was corrupted by Sovereign, Saren did some really fucked up things. He played fast and loose with the rules and morality so when Sovereign came along, he was ripe for the picking. He didn't have very far to fall."

"Maybe. I just hope that if it ever comes to it, I'll be able to get the job done. That I'll be able to make the right call, without hesitation."

Shepard reached out and touched Kaidan's hand, giving it a little shake. "You have and you will. There is no doubt in my mind. Now that I'm going out to pasture, it makes me feel a lot better to know that you will still be out here, doing what needs to be done. Take care of my ship for me, Kaidan. There's no one else I'd rather see at the wheel."

Later that afternoon, Shepard was swinging by Central Operations again when she noticed the disturbed look on Liara's face. Benezia was squirming in her mother's lap trying to get down. Liara, eyes glued to the terminal in front of her, did not see Shepard come up beside her.

"Something wrong, Liara? You look upset."

Liara jumped a little. "Oh hi, Shepard. Can you take Benezia for a bit? She's getting really restless."

"Hi sweetie! Want to come with Daddy?"

Benezia held up her arms to Shepard who swept her up into the air like a starship before settling her on a hip. Benezia started squirming almost immediately, wanting to get down.

"She is restless today. I know, I'll take her to that day care park area to run around with the other kids for a bit."

"You'll have to watch her. She's not used to that many other children. We don't know how she will react. I don't want you to get in trouble for not working."

"Yeah, I'm worried. They might fire me or something. Oh yeah, that's right. I already quit!"

"About that. I assume that you get some kind of retirement pay?"

Shepard struggled with her still squirming daughter. "Hold on, Bene. We're going to the park soon, I promise." Shepard turned her attention to Liara again. "Sure but it's not that much because I've only got 17 years in. I'm retiring as an Admiral. That will help. Of course, I won't be accepting the money anyway. I can't accept money for not working when Earth is desperately trying to rebuild."

"Oh yes you will! You have a family now. You can't afford to be noble."

"Why are you so concerned about money all in the sudden? You've never cared about it much before."

Liara put her head in her hands and rubbed her face. "Shepard, I've tried all morning. I can't locate any of my accounts. I've lost my accounts on Illium, my mother's accounts on Thessia, my accounts here on the Citadel. I have nothing! We have nothing!"

"That has happened to a lot of people, Liara. With the destruction from the war, the whole banking system collapsed on many worlds. Computer servers and backups just completely destroyed. And then you were gone for 2 years so you couldn't put in any claims."

"I put your name on those accounts. How come you didn't put in the claims for me?" The words came out with more anger in them than Liara had intended. She instantly regretted even bringing it up when she saw the look of hurt in Shepard's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Liara. I just forgot. There was so much to do. I was upset and…

"No. I'm sorry, Shepard. I know that you did the best you could. It's just that I have nothing of my mother's. That money was all that I had left of her. Now, it's like she never even existed."

"That's not true, honey. You and her namesake are both still here. That's her biggest legacy."

"I know. It's just difficult sometimes. Even after all these years. The war is over, the reapers are gone and my mother is still gone as well, you know?"

"I do know." Shepard put a hand on Liara's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. " As far as the practical is concerned, I have some money saved up. At least I hope I still have money saved up. I haven't looked at my account since my chit starting floating around." Shepard chuckled a little nervously. "Don't worry about it, Liara. We'll be fine."

"How, Shepard? This is normal people stuff that we are talking about here. Stuff that you're not so good at. You won't be able to just go around hacking terminals when you need something any more. You do realize that it is not uncommon for asari children to stay in their parent's house for 60 years or more? Not that we will be able to afford a house. We will have to live on the streets. Congratulations Shepard! You've come full circle. You grew up on the streets and now you will have to return there with a daughter of your own."

Shepard chuckled and let Benezia down. Benezia immediately took off. Shepard managed to grab her hand before she got away. "It's alright, Liara. You're being dramatic. We'll be fine. You're just not used to not being rich. Besides, I lived out of other people's trash cans when I was young and I turned out just fine. " Liara did not appear to be amused by the comment. Benezia was tugging on Shepard's hand, trying to pull her towards the door. "Are 14 month old asari children supposed to be this restless? I'm gonna take her to the park. We can talk about this later."

Shepard walked to the door with Benezia leading the way. Shepard was amazed at how well her very young daughter was walking. Suddenly, Shepard stopped in her tracks, picked up Benezia and returned to Liara.

"Wait a minute. Did you say 60 years? As in six-zero?!"

"Yes. We don't even reach full sexual maturity until around 40. I left my mother's home when I was in my 50s and even that was considered young."

Her mouth open in shock, Shepard looked at the child squirming in her arms. She appeared to be a normal 14 month old child, no less developed than a 14 month old human child would be. She was already walking and had already mastered her first words.

"But Liara, I'm not even 36 yet! By the time Bene is 60, I'll be…That's just absurd! I know that asari develop a little slower than human children but they don't need 60 years to reach adulthood. No wonder they go become strippers or go kill themselves joining stupid merc bands. They are so restless from being trapped in their parent's house for that long, that they go nuts!"

"Thousand year lifespan, Shepard. It's a whole different scale than the one that you are used to thinking about. You might want to think about all this before we have another one."

"No. We want more children. I want more children." Shepard paused. "I have an idea that should set us up nicely financially."

"And what idea is that? How can you make that much money without doing something illegal?"

Ever since the war ended, news organizations and vid producers had been clamoring for a chance to interview Shepard. Shepard had used the Alliance as a shield and as an excuse to ignore all of them and had only given interviews when the need arose to accomplish a specific goal.

"I'm going to sell my ass to the highest bidder." Shepard leaned down and quickly kissed Liara's forehead. "Don't worry, I'll take care of everything. We'll be back shortly."

Shepard let Benezia down and as expected, she started walking with determination towards the door, holding Shepard's hand. When Shepard stopped her momentarily to speak to one the officers at the system's operation board, Benezia started fussing again and said something that made Shepard forget why she had stopped in the first place.

"Go. Daddy. Go." Benezia said as she pointed a chubby finger from her other hand in the general direction of the door. Shepard picked her up and jogged her back over to Liara once again.

"Liara! She just called me Daddy! In perfect English!"

Liara chuckled at Shepard. "That's sweet, Shepard but I highly doubt it. She's only 14 months old and she just met you. There's no way she could know who you are and know the English word already. I spoke to her about you in our absence but always in standard asari."

"Say 'Daddy', sweetie", Shepard addressed her daughter encouragingly. "I'm 'Daddy'. Can you say 'Daddy'?"

Instead, Benezia just scrunched up her face, on the verge of frustrated tears.

"You better leave with her now, Shepard. She is on the verge of having a crying fit because she's not getting what she wants. And that is very much the same in any language."

"Alright, alright but she said it. I know what I heard. We'll see you later, honey. And don't you worry about money or anything else while we are gone."


	41. Chapter 41

Shepard sat across from a hovering camera and a rather intense looking middle-aged human woman. The bright light in Shepard's face was making her sweat as she used a finger to try to pull the collar of her dress uniform away from her neck. She felt like a whore. The deal that she had made for an exclusive, no questions barred interview with the Alliance News Network was the largest in history. Shepard knew that she had to do what she had to do in order to make sure that her wife and child were provided for but it didn't make her feel any better about it. She was doing this only for money which made her a whore but at least she was a well-paid one. She tried to think of anywhere she would less like to be or anything that she would less like to be doing at that moment and came up blank.

"So, you said that you were willing to make the tough choices. That sacrifices had to be made and you were willing to make them."

_Maybe on Tuchanka fighting a thresher maw single-handedly?, _Shepard thought_._ "I didn't say that. I said that I had no choice but to make them and that everyone involved was willing to sacrifice them self in order to get the job done. It's what we signed up for."

"So, you were willing to sacrifice anyone on your team to get the job done. Would you have sacrificed Ms. T'Soni, who I understand you are going to marry?"

Shepard felt the knot start to grow in her stomach. She felt the heat rise in her face. _Nope, thresher maws were sheer bliss compared to this_. _Hold your temper, Shepard. Don't lose control_.

"Thankfully, I never had to make that decision. I can tell you that I would have given my life for hers if that would have made the difference."

"But if it came down to it, could you sacrifice the people most important to you to get the job done?"

"As I said, thankfully it only came down to that kind of decision a few times. I can tell you that there is nothing harder for any good military officer. Facing the danger yourself is one thing. Forcing others into dangerous situations knowing that the odds are very much stacked against them is worse. Much worse."

"Like your unit on Akuze?"

_Speaking of thresher maws. You agreed to this, Shepard. Do not lose control_. "I was only a squad leader at that point. Nothing that happened there was my decision and when it came right down to it, we were lured there under false pretenses by Cerberus. Those deaths were caused by Cerberus."

"And you were the sole survivor. Do you think that you survived because you were a better soldier than the others? Tougher, faster, stronger?"

"No. Absolutely not. My surviving was just luck. The marines who died didn't do anything wrong and I didn't do anything particularly right. It was just luck."

"But in your report about the incident, you were critical of the leader of the unit."

"I don't think critical is the right word. In hindsight, there was more that we could have done to secure the area. Hindsight is always 20/20 as they say."

"So, if you had to do it over again, knowing what you know now, you would have done it differently?"

"Yes. But again, the same goes for many different situations that I've faced. The only problem is when you are on the ground, you don't have a crystal ball to predict what's going to happen. All you can do is try to be as prepared as possible for whatever may happen."

"So, you admit that mistakes were made."

Shepard couldn't help but chuckle a little. "Mistakes are always made but it is only with hindsight that we can see them as such. I don't think I've ever had an absolutely perfect mission or anything else in this life. Have you?"

"Moving on. What about the loss of Chief Williams on Virmire?"

_She's definately done her homework. This is like Shepard's Greatest Misses! So much death since then_. "I had to choose to try to save a single soldier or one of my soldiers and a whole squad of Salarian soldiers. I had hoped to get back to the Chief to assist her as well but there just wasn't any time. Ashley Williams was a great soldier, a good friend and a loving sister and daughter. I will never forget her or the sacrifice that she made for all of us."

"It's easy to sacrifice a soldier or a comrade but…"

Shepard clenched her fists together.

"Let me stop you right there. It's never easy to sacrifice anyone. It is a gut-wrenching occurrence every time and it never gets any easier. A military leader gets more accustomed to but it never gets any easier."

The reporter ignored Shepard's interjection. A good reporter would never let a subject's actual answers divert them from the questions that they wanted to ask and the narrative that they wanted to tell.

"But what about someone really close to you personally? Let's say, it came down to a choice between defeating the Reapers and saving your wife and daughter. You were willing to sacrifice other people to defeat the Reapers but how about the people most important to you personally? Would you send your wife and child to their deaths in order to get the job done?"

Shepard saw the red come into the edges of her vision. Her fists and jaw clenched. Edi. Anderson. The Geth. Ash. _What kind of person would ask such a question? _

"Are you seriously asking a question like that? What kind of person asks a question like that?"

"A lot of people lost everything and everyone. I think it's a fair question."

"And I think you are an immoral piece of excrement masquerading as a human being. And you're asking these questions for ratings? To get me to cry or get angry or something? For entertainment?"

"You're the one being interviewed here. Not me."

"You are a loathsome creature. A monster really. What did you do during the war? I risked my life more times than I can count. I've been seriously injured and almost killed in the line of duty more than a few times. My crew risked their lives almost every damn day for years. What sacrifices did you make to justify you being here breathing right now? This interview is over and you can just go back to hell where you belong."

As Shepard was standing to leave, she saw the blue blur flying into the room out of the corner of her eye. Before she could intervene, Shepard saw the beam of energy shooting towards the reporter, lifting her off her chair and slamming her against the wall.

"You want answers, I'll give you some answers. I would sacrifice 10,000 of you for one of her. If you say one more thing, just one more thing, they will be scooping up your remains with a shovel." Liara spat out the words. Shepard could see her body shaking with rage. Shepard moved over to her and put a hand gently on her back.

"Okay, honey. Put the little piece of shit back down on the floor. She's not worth any more of our time."

After a moment's hesitation, Liara put the reporter back down on the floor, perhaps a little harder than needed, but safely. Heeding Liara's warning, the reporter remained silent and motionless until Shepard and Liara left the room.

They were both quiet as they drove back to the hotel. Shepard could feel that Liara was starting to calm down. Shepard glanced briefly at Liara.

"You okay?" Shepard asked quietly.

Liara sighed. "I'm sorry, Shepard. I lost control. I shouldn't have come with you. And I'm sorry that I forced you to do it. I know that you wouldn't have if I hadn't bothered you with my stupid money insecurities."

"It's okay. No one was hurt. You're probably going to be arrested for assault but I can't imagine anything will come of it."

"It was just a stupid thing to do. I can't believe you managed to not lose your temper and then I go in there like a crazy person."

"Everything's okay. Everything will be fine."

By now, everyone knew how Liara and the rest of the Normandy crew had been instrumental in bringing down the Reapers. Everyone knew that it was Liara who found the Crucible. And without the Crucible, everything would have been lost. Shepard hoped that she was right and that public opinion would be in their favor. Liara's pride and sense of self were a little damaged but she would be okay as well. Shepard found that she couldn't keep a straight face any longer and a wide grin took over her face.

"Liara?"

"Yeah?"

"That was fucking terrific!" Shepard laughed.

"Shepard! It was completely the wrong thing to do! I could have ruined everything!"

"It was good to have someone there to watch my back again. Just like the old days." Shepard reached out and held Liara's hand. "It's been a long two years."

In response, Liara gave Shepard's hand a squeeze and said, "I'll always have your back, Shepard."

"And I yours."

As it turned out, the interview was downloaded and watched more times than any other interview in the history of the galactic news. By a factor of 82% to 14%, with 4% who responded that they didn't know, most people thought the reporter had it coming and 28% expressed regret that the reporter did not get liquefied. Because the interview was so widely viewed and advertising revenues so high, Shepard was paid the contract price despite the obvious breach of performance on her part.

The next morning, Shepard walked into Central Operations with Liara and Benezia by her side. Liara was still working to try to get Shepard's immigration paperwork processed through Thessian bureaucracy. It was a notoriously difficult task since any kind of visitation to Thessia by non-asari was tightly controlled and Thessian bureaucracy was always involved and slow-moving. Shepard was trying desperately to tie up her duties as the Commander of Citadel while at the same time, making wedding arrangements. Shepard and Liara both agreed that they wanted to have the wedding as soon as possible before their friends from the Normandy scattered to all known corners of the galaxy.

As soon as they all entered the door, everyone in the room stood and applauded. "Good job, Shepard" "Way to go, Dr. T'Soni!"

Shepard grinned and shook her head. Liara just blushed, still ashamed by her own lack of self-control. "Alright, alright. Settle down, everyone. That, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how not to give an interview. I just thought I'd provide you all with an example of what not to do in that situation."

"I thought it was great." "How dare she ask those questions, what did that bitch do during the war" "She had some nerve." The jumbled responses came from those in the room.

"Thank you for your support everyone. Have we heard from the Executor yet?"

"Nothing from C-Sec yet, ma'am."

"It's coming, I fear. Let me know when the call comes in."

Shepard saw Tali and Garrus walking towards them, jostling each other. Even though Tali wore a face mask and Garrus is a turian whose face basically is a mask, Shepard could tell that they were both smiling and looking to make trouble. Shepard crossed her arms in front of her, waiting for it.

"Shepard, I have a question for you about these Alliance reports that I'm supposed to fill out." Garrus addressed Shepard. Suddenly Tali grabbed Garrus's arm and in a voice filled with fake terror said, "For the love of the ancestors, Garrus, don't question Shepard in front of Liara! She'll liquefy you!"

"Very funny. I'll have you know that I'm still feeling very badly about the whole thing." Liara countered.

"Oh no! The Shadow Broker is feeling badly. We better be careful or she will flay us alive…" Garrus said. "With her mind!" Both Garrus and Tali said in unison before bursting into laughter. Shepard smiled and struggled to keep from laughing.

"You make one threat to one low-life corporate criminal when he doesn't pay you and you can never live it down. It's just so unfair."

"It was just such a good threat. Such a classic. We can't help ourselves." Tali said once she stopped laughing.

"With friends like you, I've decided it's better to just have enemies." Liara said, still unsmiling.

"Alright you two. Stop picking on my beautiful fiancé. It's still fresh right now and she's embarrassed about the whole thing. And I was very happy that she came to my rescue." Shepard put an arm around Liara's shoulder and pulled her closer. "Don't listen to them, honey. They're just jealous because you can liquefy someone with your mind and they can't."

"We're just messing with you, Liara. We both saw the interview and thought what you did was great." Garrus paused. "Say, we got an early start here today trying to figure out what we're going to do next. Can we interest you three in breakfast?"

"I'd love to but I'm just swamped here. I need to get everything stabilized before Hackett will let me go. So, what are you two going to do now that you're free?"

Garrus and Tali looked at each other, both of them silent for a moment before Garrus spoke.

"Well, the Turian government wants me back on Palaven to coordinate the rebuilding of the fleet."

"And the Conclave wants me to coordinate the technical information from this end to get our relay back up and to then return to the Fleet to resume my Admiral duties."

"And those two places are very far apart. So what have you decided?" Shepard asked and then grinned as she continued, eager to return the teasing. "You know it would be easy enough to make our wedding into a double…

"Shut up, Shepard!" Tali and Garrus once again spoke in unison.

Liara gave Shepard a smile as she addressed her. "Obviously a touchy subject, it would seem." Liara then turned towards Tali and Garrus and spoke again. "I'm afraid I will have to pass on breakfast as well. I am trying to contact as many of my mother's old friends as possible so that I can speed up Shepard's immigration paperwork."

"Why would the Thessian governments be blocking Shepard moving to Thessia? You would think that they would love to have the Savior of the Galaxy on their planet." Tali asked.

"You don't know matriarchs very well. They are loath to make any hasty decisions before considering all the possible consequences. And it's not just Shepard and her immigration. Remember, it was we asari who invented galactic bureaucracy and red tape." Liara responded.

"And that's where I'll be moving. To the land of thousand year lifespans and endless red tape and slow, well-considered, decision-making. Me! Can you imagine?" Shepard added.

Garrus just shook his head. "Good luck with that, Shepard. On the bright side, the whole planet is full of beautiful, blue women who don't mind being naked from what I hear."

Shepard smiled at the thought while Liara glared at Garrus. "That's what I've always liked about you, Garrus. Always looking on the bright side of things." Shepard said.

Tali decided to ignore both Garrus and Shepard and spoke directly to Liara. "If you two can't make it, I'd be happy to take Benezia for a while. We could take her to the park after we are done eating so that you can get some work done."

Benezia was slumped against her mother's chest with her sucky in her mouth, half-asleep. "That would be very helpful, Tali. I'm afraid that she's still sleepy. I think she just doesn't sleep as well without the drone of the Normandy in the background. She's so used to being on a ship that she can't deal with the relative quiet."

"I can definitely relate to that!" Tali moved next to Liara and held her hands out. "Do you want to come with Aunty Tali, cutie?" Benezia lurched towards Tali and fell into Tali's arms without completely waking up.

"She hasn't eaten yet and will probably get hungry watching you eat so take this bag. It has some formula and some diapers in it." Liara saw the look of horror in Tali's face even through the mask as she backed away from the bag. Liara chuckled. "Relax. They have formula on the Citadel specifically for asari children and she does well with it. Not at all like her reaction to that make-shift stuff we had on the Normandy, I promise."

Tali reluctantly took the bag as Benezia's parents both kissed their daughter farewell. Once the trio had walked away, Shepard moved closer to Liara, grinning. "Now that we're alone, we could go back to my office for a little bit."

"And why would we do that?" Liara asked innocently.

"You know. We could get in a quickie." Shepard whispered in Liara's ear.

Liara smirked. "We just had a quickie this morning. You're ready for another one now?"

"Well, you know, it takes at least two quickies to make a wholly."

"That's not even a real noun in the English language."

"You know what I mean. What do you say?"

This time, Liara leaned closer to Shepard and whispered in her ear. "I'll tell you what. You be a good girl and get a lot of work done this morning and then maybe I'll let you have something special to eat for lunch."

Shepard moved away from Liara, rubbed her hands together excitedly and said "Okay. Time to get to work! What's on the agenda for this morning, Lieutenant Astrea?"

Liara laughed at Shepard before turning to go to the Communication's room so that she could contact Thessia.

"Where is Lieutenant Astrea? Has anyone seen my Assistant?"

"She took another personal day, ma'am. I'm her replacement until she returns." A small older woman stepped forward and saluted. "Chief Watson, reporting for duty."

Shepard had a pretty good idea where Astrea was. She had been Shepard's assistant for a year and a half and had not ever taken a single unscheduled day off. Now that Shepard had introduced her to Samantha, she had been out for a week. Shepard realized that her plan had worked too well and now she might not get her reliable right hand back again before she retired. Shepard selfishly wished that she had not introduced them until after she left for good.

"At ease, Chief. Nice to meet you. Now, what are we doing today?"


	42. Chapter 42

The day of the wedding had finally arrived and the small wedding party got to the Citadel Tower early to get ready. Garrus and Shepard were waiting in a small room outside the main ceremony room in the Council Chambers. Shepard was pacing back and forth and fidgeting with her dress. Instead of her usual long, powerful stride, she had to remember to take smaller steps so that she didn't break an ankle.

"God, I hate these damn heels!"

"You're not the heels type. Though I must say you clean up nicely. Why are you even wearing them?" Garrus asked.

"Because Liara wanted to wear heels and I don't want to look short!"

"I gotta say, it occurs to me sometimes that you're a little whipped, Shepard."

"It occurs to _me_ sometimes that she is smarter than I am. What if she gets bored with me?"

"Only sometimes?"

"Hey, I'll have you know that I scored off the charts."

"Shepard, she's on a completely different chart."

"Thanks. I thought you were here to help me feel better?"

Garrus was thoroughly enjoying the opportunity to tease his normally supremely confident friend and comrade.

"Well, you still have your looks. Of course, before she even starts getting wrinkles, those will be gone as well. But don't worry, if I know Liara, she won't want to hurt your feelings so she will just stick it out for 100 years or so until you start to lose your mind and then put you in a home so she can get on with her life."

"Thanks again Buddy. You are _really_ good at this whole best man thing. You realize that while I get older and weaker every year, she will still have the body of a twenty-two year old until the day I die. Maybe I'll get lucky and she'll get fat."

Chuckling, Garrus continued.

"Shepard, you realize that most 'grooms' on their wedding day, hope that their soon-to-be wives don't get fat. Relax, Shepard. If there's one thing I can tell you it's that this woman loves you beyond all reason."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe she's not as smart as we give her credit for."

"No, I mean why do you think so?" _Yup, just a little whipped. _Garrus had seen Shepard face near certain death before without even breaking a sweat but now she looked downright panicked.

"I don't want to bring up unpleasant times on this happy occasion but you didn't see her on the Normandy after the Battle for Earth. She thought maybe you had died AGAIN and she was inconsolable." Garrus paused and lowered his voice. "She was…anyway, my point is, you _need_ to make it up to her. And you better be good to her. Besides, if there is anyone that deserves a little happiness, it's you."

The insistent voice in the back of Shepard's head was still there_. You don't deserve happiness. After what you did, you don't even deserve to be alive!_ But it was softer today.

"I figured she had a rough time of it for the last two years. Hell, I figured you all had a rough time of it. But she hasn't really talked to me about it yet. She doesn't want me to see how she felt."

"Maybe we'll talk about it at another time. Suffice it to say, you _really_ need to make it up to her. So, I would suggest that you go out there, marry that girl and have more babies together. The rest of it will take care of itself."

"Thank you for taking care of her for me. For taking care of both of us."

Shepard hugged Garrus and planted a small, soft kiss on his mandibles.

"I'm not sure if it is customary for the groom to kiss the best man."

"That's because most grooms don't have a Total Stud like you for a best man."

Shepard grinned from ear to ear at the blush spreading on her friend's face.

Liara was looking at herself in the mirror for the hundredth time that day but no matter what she did, she didn't see any improvement. She looked tired. She had dark circles under her eyes and she couldn't get the concealer color right. And then there was her nose. Liara had never noticed before what a big nose she had. Tali stood behind her, smiling.

"Goddess! My nose looks huge. I look like one of those animals from Earth. A pig! That's what I look like, a pig!"

Tali laughed. "I don't know what you're talking about, Liara. I don't know what a pig is but I doubt any animal on Earth looks as gorgeous as you do right now."

"You're just saying that because you have to."

"I'm saying it because it's true. I can only hope to look half as stunning as you do on my wedding day."

The two women were quiet for a moment as Liara continued to stare in the mirror, picking at her dress and making faces. After a few moments more, Liara sighed and broke the silence.

"She's going to get bored with me, you know. There's so much temptation out there for her and sooner or later, she's going to get bored and leave me. Do you know that people stare at her everywhere she goes? Even when she's holding hands with me, strangers come up to her and blatantly flirt with her. Like I'm not even there. Like I'm invisible."

"Don't be an idiot, Liara. Shepard loves you like you are the air that she breathes. And you know that. She would literally move the galaxy for you if you asked her to. I caught her staring at you the other day. She was in the middle of Central Operations. She didn't know anyone was looking and she stood there staring at you with that silly lopsided little grin on her face. It was almost embarrassing. She was there for like ten minutes until Garrus finally went up and teased her about it because he was getting embarrassed for her."

"But she's one of the most famous people in the universe and I'm just me! For Goddesses sake, Tali. I'm just a 113 year old maiden from Thessia and I honestly think that Commander Shepard wants to marry me?!"

Despite Liara's obvious and genuine distress, Tali couldn't help but burst out laughing. Finally, she got control of her laughter, grabbed Liara by the shoulders and turned her away from the mirror.

"Listen to yourself, Liara. Who is this Commander Shepard? You're not marrying Commander Shepard. You're marrying Shepard, our Shepard. And our Shepard loves you beyond all hope. You and our Shepard were made for each other. Everyone sees it. And you are Doctor Liara T'Soni who is almost as famous as this Commander Shepard that you're talking about. Don't tell her that I told you this, but Garrus told me that she is in that other room pacing a hole in the floor because she thinks that you are too beautiful and smart for her. She's terrified that you will get bored with her!"

Liara turned back towards the mirror with a miserable look on her face. "Do you really think I look okay? Do you think Shepard will think I look okay?"

"I don't know how else to say it, T'Soni. You are a complete and total 'knock-out' as Shepard would say and _has_ said about you. But that's not why she loves you. She loves you for the same reason that we all love you. Because you are sweet and caring and kind and generous." Tali started crying behind her mask and her voice sounded a little choked up. "You are the best friend that I've ever had, Liara T'Soni and I love you."

At that, Liara started sobbing and she hugged Tali fiercely.

"Thank you, Tali. Thank you for being my friend, thank you for helping me get through the last two years, thank you for helping me with Benezia for the last 14 months…just, thank you for being the wonderful Tali'Zorah vas Normandy."

Tali stepped back and smirked behind her mask.

"Yeah, I am pretty terrific, aren't I?"

"Yes you are! And now, also thanks to you, I'm going to have to re-touch my makeup!"


	43. Chapter 43

Shepard ran through the Citadel, unthinking. Her legs seemed to move of their own accord, pumping faster and faster. The only thing slowing her down was the dress that she wore and the high heels. Shepard slowed down, kicked off the shoes and started running again. She had no idea where she was running to, she just knew that she had to get out of there. The instinct was so strong that her conscious mind played little part in her actions.

Aethyta was waiting at the taxi stand thinking how pissed off Liara was going to be that she was late to the wedding. The transportation systems between worlds were still so backed up that it had been difficult to get to the Citadel at all when Shepard had messaged her. Then Liara had called her saying that the wedding would be in a little over a week and it became almost impossible to get here in time. Aethyta couldn't wait to see her daughter again, not to mention her new granddaughter, and now the reunion would start off on the wrong foot because she was going to miss the damn ceremony. Aethyta hit the call taxi button again, cursing. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a figure running past from her right. It appeared to be a human female and she was running, not jogging. That was an odd thing to see on the Citadel. She also appeared to be wearing a dress. Curious, Aethyta turned to look at the figure as she ran past. No one was chasing behind her which made the scene even odder.

"Shepard!?"

Shepard thought she had heard someone say her name when she suddenly became aware that her feet were no longer on the ground and she was being lifted up. Shepard felt the familiar tingling on her skin that she always felt when someone was hitting her with biotics. She could see no one in front of her and strained her neck to try to see behind her.

Aethyta moved into Shepard's view and it became clear who her attacker was.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Put me down right now or I'll..."

"Or you'll what? Shake your fist at me? What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to be at the ceremony already?"

Shepard knew that it was only a matter of time before Aethyta would get tired and have to put her down. Or throw her against the wall. Shepard didn't care which.

"Just put me down or throw me against the wall or do whatever you're going to do because I am in no mood for your bullshit today."

"So, you're running away, you little spineless coward?"

"I am not running away. I was just running."

"You waited all this time for her to come back and now you're scared so you are going to leave her standing alone at the altar?"

Shepard thought about the pain that Liara would feel when she realized that Shepard wasn't there. That Shepard had left her alone once again.

"No! I wouldn't do that! Look, I'm just a little nervous right now and the fight or flight reflex took over and there was no one that I could fight there so I just took off running. I was going to go back. I think."

"I've heard of cold feet before but this is ridiculous. And why are you barefoot? Is that a human thing?"

Shepard felt herself getting angry. "Look, Old Woman, put me down now or suffer the consequences. Not many people have ever attacked me with biotics and lived to tell about it."

"Yeah. I'm terrified." Aethyta said looking completely nonplussed.

"It's just that we have so much baggage. More baggage than you can fit in a large freighter. I killed her mother, for Christ's sake!" Shepard still felt like fighting someone. "That's right, I killed your bondmate. I killed the woman that you loved."

"Now you're just trying to get me to throw you against the wall which takes all the fun out of it for me. And Liara told me what happened. She told me that you actually tried to save Benezia despite the fact that she had tried to kill you moments before. She told me that it was Benezia's decision because she knew her mind was gone."

"Sometimes, I think we should have tried anyway. Losing her mother caused Liara so much pain. I've caused her so much pain already."

"Liara told me about your arrogance, too. Like you can fix every little problem in the universe. Like you can decide who lives or dies."

Shepard closed her eyes and willed the black thoughts to the furthest reaches of her mind at the mention of deciding who lives or dies. Aethyta noticed the look of pain as it flashed across Shepard's face.

"Okay, I'm going to let you down but you have to agree not to run."

"Fine"

Shepard felt the ground under her feet. Instead of running, she moved over to the wall and slumped down it. Aethyta sat down next to her, took out a flask from the bag she was carrying and handed it to Shepard. Shepard unscrewed the top and tipped back her head to take a draught.

"It's just that I have no idea what I'm doing. I have no idea how to be a wife. I have no idea how to be a parent. I never even had parents, you know. And everything is moving so fast. Hell, I don't even know how to be anything but a soldier and now everything is changing. What if I fuck everything up?"

"When you fuck up and you will, you figure out how to fix it together. You make it work. The only way you can fuck this up for good is by not being there or in your case, by not showing up for your own damn wedding. And what do you mean that everything is changing? You'll still be a soldier."

"No. I quit the Alliance. We plan to move to Thessia to raise Benezia."

"That's surprising but then, seeing you before, maybe not too surprising. It might be a good move for you. It was obvious that you were miserable in your job. Maybe a break will be the best thing for you." Aethyta smiled. "And I'll get to see my granddaughter more often."

"I had to do something. I've already made Liara worry so much. It wouldn't be fair to Liara or Benezia for me to continue in a public, dangerous job." Shepard smiled remembering Benezia trying to get out of the dress that they had put her in that morning. "You're going to love Benezia. She's the cutest thing you've ever seen and she is just a little bundle of energy. I imagine she'll be quite the handful when she gets a little older. When I found out about her, it was one of the happiest moments of my life."

Aethyta shook her head.

"Goddess only knows what you two were thinking trying to conceive a child during the war to end all wars like that."

"Don't blame me. That was your daughter. I had no idea."

Aethyta raised her brow, surprised. "I don't want to cause trouble on your wedding day but you do realize that asari don't get pregnant by accident, right? Asari can prevent pregnancy 100% of the time if they do certain things while melded that every young asari learns how to do."

"She had a moment of weakness. She made a mistake. I don't care. I just can't believe that I was so lucky to get them back like that. So many people lost everyone they loved and now I have a second chance to be with them."

"And you are honestly having second thoughts about taking that second chance? Over the course of a thousand years, I've made so many mistakes that I can't even remember them all but there's one that I regret more than any of the others. I should have demanded to be involved in Liara's life when she was growing up but I didn't do it because I was hurt and angry. Don't make the same mistake I did. Don't let your negative emotions tell you what to do."

Shepard gave a sideward glance to Aethyta and passed the flask back to her.

"You never told me what happened between you two. Why you weren't there while Liara was growing up."

Aethyta sighed, took a swig and then started to try to explain.

"Benezia and I had already been together over a hundred years. We were fighting constantly. Looking back now, I think having Liara was our last ditch effort to try to save our marriage. Stupid, right? You think we would've known better at our ages but we were desperate. Anyway, Benezia realized it just wasn't gonna work out so she just left. Didn't even say goodbye. She just left. I was so hurt and angry that I just ran away too. I was too mad and upset to even contact her to see about the baby. Not to mention, she left me without so much as a word, I wasn't gonna be the one to contact her. So then the years go by and by the time we bumped into each other again, it just felt like it was already too late for me to be part of Liara's life. I didn't even know how to start. Not to mention, seeing Benezia again, even after all those years, still felt like a kick in the quad. In short, I was a selfish asshole and I thought more about what I was feeling than what my daughter might have felt growing up not knowing her Dad." Aethyta paused. "After that, she let me know how things were going. She'd send me pictures and vids but it was kind of silently agreed that she would raise Liara and I would stay out of the way. Liara was Benezia's only child and I think she sheltered her too much. Didn't let her spread her wings until finally, Liara just went crazy and rebelled, getting as far away from her mother as possible. And that's when you came in." Aethyta paused again. "You know, in the back of my mind, I always thought that maybe, someday, Nezzie and I would get back together but then that Saren fucker...even if you live over a thousand years, you still run out of time to do everything you mean to do."

Shepard stood and offered a hand up to Aethyta.

"Come on. I need to go back to my apartment and change."

"Never mind that. Let's just go. We're late already! I want to see my daughter and granddaughter!"

"I can't get married like this. I'm all sweaty and my dress is dirty. I need you to cover for me. Call Liara and tell her that I was delayed because I had to pick you up."

"Alright but you will owe me one."

Shepard smiled. "More than one, Aethyta. Thanks for the pep talk."

Shepard and Aethyta were waiting for the taxi that would take them to the Council Chambers. Shepard was fidgeting with the straps on her dress. She didn't own any other dresses except for the low-cut, above the knee black dress that she wore for any occasion where she couldn't wear a uniform, so that's what she wore now. Her hair was still wet from the shower but she didn't own a hair dryer so it would just have to do.

"Are you sure that I look okay?"

"I already told you no. You look like a prostitute. A low-paid one. An asari wouldn't be caught dead in a dress like that on her bonding day."

"I don't care about asari traditions or what an asari would do on her wedding day. I just want to look nice for Liara." Shepard turned to return to her apartment. "I should just wear my dress blues. It's easy and I know she likes me in it."

Aethyta caught her elbow. "I told you. We don't have any more time. She was already getting suspicious when I called her. You look fine. Besides, Liara should know how shameless you really are."

"You are calling me shameless?! Oh, that's a good one. Where is this damn taxi? Maybe I should just steal a car?"

"Stealing a car is not a good idea on your bonding day."

"I'd just be borrowing it."

They were both quiet until the taxi pulled up and Shepard quickly jumped in the back seat, motioning for Aethyta to hurry up.

"Citadel Tower and step on it."

They both sat quietly once again until Aethyta broke the silence.

"Do you want to talk about the wedding night? Do you know what to do? You look like a prostitute but can you act like one?"

Shepard turned her head to Aethyta with a stunned and incredulous look on her face. Aethyta tried hard not to smile.

"I know what to do, thank you."

"Are you sure? I could give you some pointers."

"Just stop talking right now."

"Asari physiology is different from humans. I could tell you some special techniques."

"For the love of God, please stop talking. There are certain things that humans never discuss with in-laws and this is one of them."

"I just want you to have a strong marriage. Good sex is a part of that."

"We are going to have a serious discussion about boundaries. I'm begging you, if you want any more grandchildren, you will stop speaking right now."

"You are going to have more children?"

"Yes, right away. We're already trying."

"Good. Now do you really know how to get your mind ready to embrace eternity? To get the best results? For asari, it's all about the mind. You have to let her go deep."

Shepard put her face in her hands and then clapped them over her ears and started humming.

Shepard hurried into the ceremony room but was stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Liara standing near the dais. Despite the impatient, slightly irritated look that she had on her face, Shepard thought she looked stunning in her full length cream-colored bonding dress. For a moment, Shepard didn't know what to do, unable to believe that such a beautiful individual could possibly be there to marry her. Shepard's momentary, confused inaction was broken when Aethyta came up behind her and gave her a shove, propelling her forward into the room. The older asari woman then moved around Shepard, marched up the aisle and quickly gave her daughter a hug. Aethyta then turned around, scanned the room briefly, snatched Benezia off Samantha's lap and then sat down in the first row with Benezia in her lap, squeezing Samantha off the bench.

"Hey! Who the hell are you?" Samantha said.

"It's alright, Samantha. That's my father" Liara said as Traynor was attempting to take Benezia back from her kidnapper. Traynor scowled at the older woman before moving to the second row with Astrea quickly following.

"A little black dress on your wedding day? Really Shepard?" Kaidan asked with a smile on his face as Shepard passed by.

"Well, if I wore white, would any of you buy it anyway?" Shepard quipped back.

"That's not the same dress she had on just a couple hours ago. I wonder what happened?" Garrus spoke quietly to Tali as Shepard passed.

"Liara looks so beautiful and so elegant, almost regal while Shepard looks…sexy but..." Tali didn't finish her thought.

"The Princess and the Prostitute" Joker chimed in over Garrus's shoulder. "Sounds like a good title for a vid." All four laughed, trying to laugh quietly.

By this time, Shepard had made her way down the aisle. She nodded to the piano player, whose nose had been completely repaired, and he began to play Liara's song. Shepard smiled at Liara and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek while taking her hand. Garrus and Tali realized that, after hours of waiting, the moment had finally arrived and they stood to take their places beside Shepard and Liara.

"You look beyond beautiful. Are we ready to do this?" Shepard whispered to Liara.

"I've been ready for the last hour and a half, Shepard. Where have you been? And what happened to your wedding dress? And why is your hair wet?" Liara responded.

"It's a long story. We can discuss it later."

Liara eyed Shepard suspiciously but before she could ask any more questions, Councilor Tevos smiled and nodded to Admiral Hackett who started to speak.

"Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen. Liara T'Soni and Katherine Shepard have asked me to officiate at these proceedings so I agreed even though it is actually against Alliance regulations for an Admiral to perform wedding ceremonies. But since I'm the head of the fleet, I doubt very much anyone will be complaining to my superiors so I will happily put aside regulations for the day in order to be here for two people who have meant so much to me personally and to the rest of the people gathered in this room."

"I think we can all agree that none of us would be alive to be in this room right now if it wasn't for the couple in front of me. It was in no small part through their partnership that the war was won. It brings me much happiness that the war is behind us and we are able to celebrate this wonderful day together. The incredible crew of the SSV Normandy performed one last miracle to make this day possible and we are all thankful for it. I can only hope that Liara's and Katherine's difficult days are behind them and they have nothing but peace and happiness and love ahead of them. I don't think that it's just coincidence that all the cultures that we know about in the galaxy have some form of marriage. I think it is proof that love and commitment to another soul are some of the most powerful forces in the universe. So, without further ado, let's begin.

"If there is anyone here who has just cause why this couple should not be united in marriage, I'd be smart and keep it to yourself. Everyone else in this room will hurt you." There is some laughter before Hackett spoke again. "Shepard, I mean Katherine, told me that they have written some personal vows so I now hand it over to them."

Shepard smiled at Hackett while Liara got a look of pure terror on her face which changed to a smile as Shepard turned to her and began to speak.

Shepard held Liara's hands and smiled back.

"It's been a long road to get to this day, hasn't it? I remember the day when we first met, my stomach felt funny. I thought maybe it was the trip in the Mako. But it wasn't. What I finally realized even back then, is that something important had happened. What I didn't realize back then and what I couldn't admit to myself until years later, probably because I'm so stubborn and dense, is that I had met the person who would change my life forever. I had met my match in more ways than one. I didn't realize then that I had met the woman who would be the love of my life."

The smile left Shepard's face and tears started welling in her eyes as she continued. Liara started to cry seeing the tears in Shepard's eyes as Shepard gripped her hands tighter.

"I love you more than I ever thought possible, Liara T'Soni. I promise you that I will never forget what a gift I received when you and our beautiful daughter come back to me. I promise you that no matter what happens, I will be by your side. I promise you that I will try my best to be a good wife to you and a good father to Benezia and our other daughters. I promise that I will always consider what you are feeling and what you need and will try my best to give it to you. I promise that no matter how difficult things get, I will never give up on us."

The tears were streaming down Liara's face and she tried to speak.

"Thank you, Shepard. That was beautiful. I didn't remember about the personal vows and I don't know what to say. I love you so much and I will always be by your side. This is the happiest day of my life…"

Liara's words failed her so Shepard leaned in and kissed Liara, reassuringly.

"That was perfect, honey", Shepard said and then leaned in to kiss Liara again until she was interrupted by Hackett.

Hackett cleared his throat loudly before speaking again.

"Admiral, I think that part comes later. Katherine Elizabeth Shepard do you take Liara T'Soni to be your spouse?"

"I do."

"Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her, forsaking all others and holding only unto her?"

"I do."

"And Liara T'Soni, do you take Katherine Elizabeth Shepard to be your spouse?"

"I do."

"Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her, forsaking all others and holding only unto her?"

"I do."

"Okay. So, whoever has them, please present the rings."

Now it was Shepard's turn to look terrified as everyone looked at her expectantly. Shepard looked at Hackett.

"Um. So, is it really necessary to have rings? I know they are a symbol and everything but are they strictly necessary to get this whole thing done?"

Garrus spoke from beside her. "Really Shepard? You went to your own wedding without the rings? That's like going into battle and forgetting your rifle."

"Well, excuse me. I've never done this before and I've had a lot of other things to do the last few days getting you clowns taken care of!" Shepard quipped.

Aethyta sighed in the audience and surprised Javik, who was sitting next to her, by plunking Benezia down in his lap. She rummaged through her bag and then walked up to Liara.

"I don't know anything about any rings but I brought these bonding bracelets to give to you and Knucklehead here. They belonged to your mother and me. I wanted you to have them."

Liara looked at Aethyta surprised.

"Thank you but we couldn't. I know how much these must mean to you."

"They are just things. They don't mean anything to me compared to you and Benezia and even Admiral Half-wit."

Liara, tears in her eyes once again, hugged Aethyta before turning to Shepard.

"Hold out your left arm, please."

Shepard held out her arm and Liara snapped the ornate metal bracelet onto her wrist. Both bracelets were a bright gold color and were about an inch and a half wide with intricate patterns etched into the top of the thin metal. Liara snapped her bracelet onto her own wrist. Liara then placed her arms in front of her and grabbed Shepard's left arm with her own right hand until an energy crackled between the two bracelets. The energy from the bracelets fused them together so that when Shepard tugged gently, she was unable to move her arm away from Liara's.

"So, basically, they're handcuffs? They're pretty but…I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Liara, but I don't think it's very practical for us to be physically fused together like this. That's a little hardcore even for me."

"Relax, Shepard. They are easily released. I'll show you how later." A smile curled Liara's lips. "Maybe. When I feel like it."

Admiral Hackett cleared his throat again.

"Okay. These wedding…bracelets are a symbol of your love and devotion. Please repeat after me, Katherine. This bracelet is a symbol of my promise…

"This bracelet is a symbol of my promise"

"I promise that I will always love you, cherish you and honor you all the days of my life. And with this bracelet, I thee wed."

"I promise that I will always love you, cherish you and honor you all the days of my life. And with this bracelet, I thee wed." Shepard repeated with a wide smile on her face.

"Liara, please repeat after me. This bracelet is a symbol of my promise."

"This bracelet is a symbol of my promise."

"I promise that I will always love you, cherish you and honor you all the days of my life. And with this bracelet, I thee wed."

"I promise that I will always love you, cherish you and honor you all the days of my life. And with this bracelet, I thee wed." Liara said with a few tears falling down her cheeks.

"By the power vested in me I now pronounce you married. You may now kiss to seal the deal."

Shepard and Liara leaned forward and gave each other a long, deep kiss as the room exploded in applause and a few hollers.


	44. Chapter 44

Shepard and Liara lingered at the ceremony room so that they could be alone for a moment before heading to the reception area. Liara had changed out of her long, formal bonding gown and replaced it with a more informal red dress similar to the one Shepard was wearing. Shepard came up behind Liara and ran her hands up Liara's bare arms.

"You changed into a human-style dress. I can't decide whether you looked more delicious in your gown or in this dress."

Liara leaned back against Shepard's chest.

"I want to make sure that the gown remains undamaged. This dress is easier to move in so that I can dance with my equally ravaging wife."

Shepard wrapped her arms around Liara and leaned over to kiss her neck. Liara tilted her head to the side to give Shepard better access.

"You're going to dance with me? You are a brave woman. Did you bring your boots to protect your toes?"

Liara turned around in Shepard's arms and threw her arms around Shepard's neck, pulling her close and giving her a long, deep kiss. Liara then pulled back and gave Shepard a wide, seductive smile.

"I'll stand back for the faster dances. For the slower dances, you just shuffle your feet anyway so I should be safe."

Shepard moved her hands down and held the hem of Liara's dress.

"You know, the advantage to these dresses is that one can be out of them in about 30 seconds. I'm sure our guests would wait."

Liara laughed and shook her head.

"Oh, I'm sure that it wouldn't even take you thirty seconds. I'll get you out of your dress in due time. You will just have to wait until later."

Shepard ran her hands over the curve of Liara's hips, reveling in the feel of her new bondmate's firm yet soft body through the thin fabric. She then ran them around to the small of her back. Liara gasped but then pulled away from Shepard.

"Nice try, Admiral but you're still going to have to wait. Now, let's go get a taxi."

Shepard sighed. "Okay, but can you at least tell me what you're wearing under your dress?"

Liara turned and started walking away, deliberately swaying her hips more than in her customary, everyday walk. As she did, she looked back over her shoulder seductively and said, "That's for me to know and for you to try to find out."

As Shepard and Liara were going into the reception hall, Aethyta grabbed Liara's arm and pulled her to the side. Aethyta spontaneously gave her daughter a hug.

"I'm proud of you, Kid. And I can't tell you how happy I am that you made it back."

Liara smiled brightly at her father. "And I am happy to be back. I'm also very glad that you made it through the War and made it to the wedding. Shepard told me that you helped her while I was away. That you helped her up when she was at her lowest. I wanted to thank you for that."

"Yeah, she's a good kid. A complete idiot at times but overall, a good person. I hope you will be very happy together."

"Thank you…Dad. Now that we are being honest and open with each other, do you want to tell me why you and Shepard were so late getting to the wedding ceremony?"

Aethyta shrugged. She had always believed that honesty was the best policy. Unless, of course, it was in her own best interests not to be. "Sure. I was late because the transportation systems between planets are still as unreliable as shit. Shepard was late because she had a case of cold feet and temporarily ran away."

"She what!? She ran away? How do you know this?"

"While I was waiting for the damn taxi to take me to the ceremony, I caught her running by in her bonding gown. She was literally running. That was an odd sight, let me tell you."

"She lied to me! How could she run away like that? Why didn't she tell me she was having second thoughts?" Liara said angrily.

"She just got scared. She just needed a little push. You don't know what she went through when she thought she had lost you."

Liara stood silently fuming.

"You're one to talk. She told me that you tried to get pregnant without even telling her!"

The look on Liara's face turned to one of guilt and she turned her eyes away from her father's.

"I didn't try to get pregnant. I just didn't try not to get pregnant." Liara said quietly.

"Same thing and you know it! You're lucky she's human. She doesn't realize what a serious violation of trust that was."

On Thessia, conceiving a child during a meld without the other partner's prior knowledge and consent was such a violation that on rare occasion, perpetrators were brought up on charges. It also led to wealthy asari entering into complicated consent to reproduce contracts with partners in order to avoid potential civil suits. Both the criminal and civil actions were greatly complicated by a lack of proof making the contracts very popular to completely avoid any possible costly legal action.

"I didn't do it on purpose. I just lost control." Liara said embarrassed, her eyes looking everywhere but at her father.

"I can see that. You're young and inexperienced so I can see how that could happen. But you should have told her as soon as it happened."

"You don't understand what it was like at that moment. It was right before the final battles of the war. I didn't want to add to her worries. Things were so grim. The odds were so stacked against us." Liara paused before confessing. "I didn't want her to leave me behind. I wanted to be at her side and there's no way she would have let me go if I told her that I might be pregnant."

Aethyta's eyes softened as did her tone. "Yeah. You've both been through too much. Which is why you need to be patient with each other. Her little run this morning didn't mean anything. You need to be understanding."

Liara nodded her head. She reached out and touched her father's hand.

"I'm glad that you're here. I wish Mother could be here."

"So do I. I'd give just about anything to see her again even after all the fights. She would have been very proud of you. I'm sure she is very proud of you wherever she is." Aethyta squeezed Liara's hand.

Shepard saw the look in Liara's eye and became wary.

"Now Liara. Remember what we talked about. We are going to gently place a piece of cake in each other's mouth just to satisfy this stupid tradition. We agreed that there would be no foolishness. We agreed…"

"My father told me about your little run this morning, Shepard."

Shepard turned her head away to try to find Aethyta to glare at her and as she did, Liara took the piece of cake in her hand and smeared in all over the side of Shepard's face, getting cake in her hair in the process. Shepard stepped back in surprise, her mouth open, her eyes expressing disbelief and betrayal.

"You put cake in my hair?! I told you that you must never mess with my hair! Do you know how hard it is to get sticky stuff out of hair?!"

Shepard ignored the cutting knife and instead just dug out a large mass of the cake with her hand before moving menacingly towards Liara. Liara took up a defensive posture on the other side of the cake table.

"You are so going to regret that, T'Soni. I am going to smear this so deeply into your scalp crests that you will still be digging it out four days from now!"

Shepard and Liara faced off against each other around the table with Liara afraid to make the first move to try to escape. Their friends were standing around the pair, laughing and offering words of encouragement. Shepard faked a move to the left and Liara started to move right but stopped when she saw Shepard stop and run towards the right as well.

"Don't let her fool you Liara! She's a wily one!" Tali yelled.

"Come on, Shepard. She messed with your hair! You can't let her get away with that!" James opined.

Liara decided to make a break for it. She started running towards the left but Shepard reacted too quickly and managed to swipe the hand with the cake in it all over the back of Liara's crest. Liara felt the cold of the cake on the back of her head and neck as Shepard lifted her arms up in victory. Garrus laughed and gave Shepard's other hand a high five. The look of fury on Liara's face was unmistakable as she moved back towards the cake, scooped some up and then smeared it all over the side of Garrus's face.

"What are you laughing about, Vakarian?"

"Liara! I'm shocked at you! I thought you were a lady! You can't just go around shoving cake in people's faces!"

"Why Garrus? The cake covers up your scars. You actually look better!" Tali said while high-fiving Liara and laughing. Garrus scooped up some cake and smeared it on Tali's face plate.

"There! Now you have cake vision!"

And with that, chaos broke out with everyone rushing forward towards the cake table, grabbing a handful and smashing it on anyone within reach. Everyone except for Wrex and Bakara, who remained motionless in the background, watching the scene before them.

"It's not unheard of for fighting to break out at our weddings but they are fighting with food? That just seems like a waste of the fighting and the food." Wrex wondered aloud.

"It is obviously part of some kind of ritual. I hope we aren't being rude by not participating." Bakara responded.

"Humans are weird. I'm hungry again. I don't want to fight with the cake. I want to eat the cake."

"But we don't want to hurt Liara's and Shepard's feelings. Maybe as guests, we should be fighting with the cake?"

As Wrex and Bakara stood apart from the fray, debating whether they were obligated to get involved or not, Benezia toddled over to where the people were fighting around the cake. She had no idea what the people were doing but it looked like fun. She picked up some cake that had fallen on the floor and smeared it on her own face. She then poked a tongue out and decided that whatever this was now covering her face, it was very tasty so she started shoveling the cake into her mouth with both fists. Aethyta came back into the room. Her eyes grew wide as she stood in disbelief at the messy carnage before her. She brought her fingers to her mouth and let out an ear-shattering whistle. Everyone froze. She saw Benezia on the floor and ran over to grab her.

"What are you people doing?! You are making a mockery of your bonding day. Let me tell you something. We asari might screw around a lot in our younger years but when we actually decide to commit to someone, it's serious. It is a serious, somber day and we definitely don't defile it with juvenile antics like this. You are supposed to be adults. What kind of marriage are you going to have, if you start it this way? And look at your daughter! Eating off the floor. Her first solid food is cake from a floor. This is what happens when children have children!"

Benezia calmly and happily continued licking frosting off her hands. Shepard came to stand beside Aethyta to her right, her head down, looking chastened.

"You're right. We were being immature. We thank you for your insight and enlightened counsel, Wise Matriarch." Shepard said.

As she did so, she got an evil grin on her face and brought her left hand up to smear cake on Aethyta's face. Aethyta immediately bristled as a blue energy surrounded her body, a look of fury on her face. Shepard knew that Aethyta had a bad temper. She had witnessed Aethyta assaulting people with her biotics before. She didn't think that Aethyta would hurt the wife of her daughter and the father of her granddaughter, especially while holding her granddaughter, but seeing the look in her eye, Shepard could no longer be sure so she started running.

A half hour later, after Liara finally rinsed off most of the cake from her head, Liara returned to the reception area and saw Aethyta heading to the door with Benezia. Liara ran to intercept.

"You're leaving already?"

"Yeah. Benezia's tired. I'll see you two after your honeymoon. Have a good time, Kid."

"Are you sure you're up for this?" Liara asked nervously. "We can just take her with us."

Aethyta rolled her eyes. "I did raise two daughters myself, as you well know."

"Ah yes, these mysterious half-sisters that you still haven't told me anything about. Am I ever going to meet these mythical women?"

Aethyta's face dropped a little and her voice caught. "I'm sure you'll get to meet one of them. Fabia makes it back to Thessia every once in a while." Aethyta looked at the baby in her arms and paused before continuing. "Dacia was on Kahje studying Hanar culture when the reapers hit. The planet didn't fall but Dacia was killed by an orbital strike."

Liara got tears in her eyes as she put her hand on Aethyta's arm.

"I'm so sorry, Aethyta. I wish so much that I had been able to meet her."

"I miss her. Just like I miss your mother. But, for the living, right Kid?" Aethyta said the often used asari expression. "I'm sorry that you had to learn about it on your wedding day."

"Maybe one day you can tell me more about her? Share your memories of her?"

Aethyta smiled. She and her daughter had never shared anything over a meld before and the fact that Liara was willing to share memories with her meant that she trusted her. "I'd like that. You kind of remind me of her a little bit. She was the serious studious type too. Not like Fabia and me at all. I better get out of here. Benezia will get grumpy if I don't get her to bed soon. Enjoy your honeymoon, Kid."

Aethyta was about to leave when she saw the look of worry on Liara's face. Aethyta sighed.

"Okay, spill it. How can anyone be worried on their bonding day? Even someone as neurotic as you can't possibly be worried on your bonding day."

"I wanted to talk to you before the wedding but you were late." Liara bit her lower lip. Goddess I hate this, Liara thought. "I might need to ask for your help."

"Are you gonna tell me or what? This kid is heavy and my damn arm is falling asleep."

"Well, Shepard is good at many things but there are some things, important, practical things, that she's not so good at. She doesn't have a lot of money saved up. She made a lot of money doing that interview but it won't last forever. We shouldn't even be going on this honeymoon and I lost all my accounts because of the war and then I was dead and we need to find an apartment which will not be cheap and…

Aethyta waved her hand and said, "Don't worry about it. You still have your money. Now just go have a good time."

Aethyta turned to leave when Liara stopped her.

"What?! What do you mean I still have my money?"

"Your mother and I were bonded when you were born. I am officially and legally your father. Once you were declared dead, I made a claim for your accounts as your heir."

"But Shepard was on those accounts as well. After I died, that was her money!"

"And she had bigger concerns than coming to Thessia to pursue claims. It's all in a trust in her name. Now that you're back, I'll put your name on it and you can do what you want with it."

"And you didn't even tell Shepard?!"

"Come on Liara! You said it yourself. If I had given the money to that idiot, she would have pissed it all away helping every orphan and hard-luck case that she could dig up so that by the time she figured out what she wanted to do, she'd be penniless and homeless. I was going to give her the money a little at a time when she left the Alliance so she'd always have enough to take care of herself even in her old age."

Liara got tears in her eyes and she hugged her father.

"So you really were looking out for her. Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm living in that big house in Armali that your mother and I owned together. It survived the war. Too small and unimportant a target, I guess. That's yours too once I pass. Now say goodbye to Benezia so that we can get the hell out of here before people start getting drunk and dancing like Shepard!"

Liara took Benezia from Aethyta's arms and gave her kisses all over her face.

"Go with your Granddad, sweetie. Your Daddy and I will be back in a week."

Shepard saw Aethyta and Liara near the door and figured that she'd risk going over, hoping that Aethyta wasn't going to warp her on sight. She smiled brightly as she approached.

"Did I miss anything? You aren't leaving already, are you Aethyta? I didn't even say goodbye to Bene yet."

Shepard took Benezia from Liara and held her tightly.

"Maybe we should just take her with us? I miss her already."

Aethyta snatched Benezia back from Shepard and moved towards the door.

"No way. I need to bond with my granddaughter. You two just worry about making another one."

Shepard stepped forward and was about to protest when Liara caught her arm.

"Don't worry. Benezia's in good hands. Now are you going to dance with your Bondmate or not?"

Shepard bent over to pick up her glass. She felt eyes on her and turned to see Liara staring at her. Liara's eyes were dark blue and Shepard felt a lump form in her throat. There was something about the way that Liara was looking at her that made her nervous.

"You were looking at my ass."

Liara continued to unabashedly run her eyes up and down Shepard's body, a small, leering smile on her face. "You can't prove that", Liara purred as she moved closer to Shepard.

Shepard swallowed and suddenly realized where she had seen such a look before. It was the look of a predator to prey. Shepard felt the silkiness of her dress against her skin all over her body. She felt exposed in the thin material. _I wish I had my armor on. It's so hot in here_.

Liara wrapped her arms around Shepard's waist and then slid her hands down in back of her lover's body until they were cupping Shepard's ass. Liara whispered in Shepard's ear: "I forgot to tell you. When asari are trying to conceive, certain hormones kick in and it kind of ramps things up a bit. Makes desires a little more intense."

"More intense?!" Shepard dropped her glass again.

Liara pulled away from Shepard expectantly and said "You really should pick that up again. Wouldn't want anyone stepping on it."

Shepard eyed Liara warily. Instead of bending over and picking the glass up, she bent her knees and lowered her whole body to retrieve it.

_She is actually a little afraid of me right now. This is going to be so much fun!_ , Liara thought as she said, "Ha! Coward! Now come here. I want to dance with you."

Liara slid in front of Shepard and put her hands around Shepard's back once again, pushing Shepard backwards towards the dance floor while reaching forward and kissing Shepard's lips. Shepard felt Liara's body pressed up against hers as they swayed to the music. _This dress is so shear! It offers no protection at all_. Shepard could feel the heat from Liara's body and could feel Liara's breasts against her own. When Liara pushed her tongue into Shepard's mouth, she felt her legs weaken. Liara then started sucking Shepard's upper lip rhythmically and Shepard gasped involuntarily. Shepard suddenly felt Liara enter her mind. Shepard broke the kiss and pulled back from Liara.

"Liara!" Shepard tried to keep her voice down. "We're in public! They'll know what we're doing!"

"So? They can just look away if they want."

"But these are my crewmen! They'll see that your eyes are black! You're drunk!"

Liara laughed. "Believe me, the way we are dancing, no one is looking at my eyes. And they are not your crewmen any longer. They are just your friends now. And it's our wedding and we can do what we want."

With that, Liara began kissing Shepard again. Shepard kissed back, moving her tongue over Liara's. Shepard ran her hands over Liara's back and pushed her leg in between Lairas' legs as much as their dresses would allow. She felt Liara's mind in her own and began to feel Liara's feelings and Liara's senses. She could feel Liara's desire and arousal. She started to hear Liara's thoughts. _I love you so much! I want you so fucking much._ Shepard no longer cared where they were or who was there, she just wanted to… Suddenly, Shepard felt Liara leave her mind as Liara's body pulled away from hers. Shepard involuntarily gasped at the sudden loss of contact. Liara leaned forward and whispered in Shepard's ear.

"You're right. This isn't the place. But later, I am going to absolutely wreck you! I'm going to make you beg! I'm going to make you feel nerve endings that you never even knew existed before. When I'm done with you, you won't be able to walk or think or speak!"

With that, Liara turned and walked away from Shepard but not before turning once again to look at Shepard with an evil grin on her face. Shepard felt her legs shaking and she knew she had to go sit down. But the nearest chair seemed so far away. Shepard felt embarrassed and looked around to see if anyone were watching her. Thankfully, they all seemed to be engaged with their own partners, laughing, dancing, and talking. After a moment, Shepard slowly made her way over to a chair.

Shepard was sitting at a table talking with Garrus and James.

"You're crazy, Vakarian. I'd take a good Revenant or a Typhoon over the best sniper rifle in the galaxy any day."

"Yeah, those are great rifles for less skilled fighters but a tricked out Black Widow in the hands a truly great shot? Deadly."

"I am a truly great shot and a Black Widow is fine if you only have a few enemies and they politely decide to keep their distance but for a real battle where the enemy keeps pouring in and charging you, there is no substitute for a Typhoon." Shepard grins. "This whole discussion explains why I was always the one with the highest kill count in any fight. My turian friend's idea of fighting a battle is to keep his distance and daintily take out one enemy at a time from cover while I'm in there up close slaughtering them by the dozen."

"This whole discussion makes sense when I think about our little contest up on the Citadel. For someone who isn't an excellent shot like I am, they need to resort to the whole 'spray and pray' method of fighting. 'I'm the Great Commander Shepard and I need a big gun with LOTS of bullets because I can't hit the broad side of a cruiser'!"

"That was one shot, Garrus. You keep bringing it up and I'm going to have to embarrass you by challenging you to a rematch. With a Typhoon in my hands, I could afford to have squad mates who hung back and plinked away because I was an army all by myself. "

"Anytime, anywhere, Shepard. If Liara will still let the Little Woman fire a gun."

James laughed at that comment.

"This is amusing and all but I think we all know who the best shot at this table is and it's not Big Bird or The Little Woman."

"Oh please, Vega. You aren't even in Vakarian's league, never mind, my league." Shepard sat back with her arms crossed and her knees spread. She noticed Liara and Tali looking at her from across the room and laughing. She nodded her head towards them with a questioning look on her face. Vega spoke again as Liara and Tali started walking over.

"I'll tell you both what. We are all going to be on Earth in a week, right? For that stupid parade thing? I challenge you both to a shooting contest in Rio. I have to go there to start N 7 training and I hear they have top-notch facilities. I'm sure the most famous N7 of them all can get us all in early."

"If you are going to start N7 training after next week, you will have a lot more to worry about than your old boss kicking your ass before you even begin. I don't want to shatter your confidence before your first day." Shepard paused as Liara and Tali both walked up giggling. "And what are you two laughing about?"

Liara leaned forward and put her hands on Shepard's knees. "We've had this discussion before, Shepard. If you are going to wear girl clothes, you have to sit like a girl." Liara looked down at Shepard's splayed knees. "I didn't mind you showing everyone your business whenever you wore your dress before but now that we're married, it's my business too and other people might get the wrong idea."

"Well, excuse my manners. My old street gang had a course on Proper Etiquette for Young Girls but I missed that day because I was out robbing and threatening people." Shepard addressed Garrus and James. "Did you two ever notice that I might not be sitting in the most lady-like way?"

"I stopped noticing after about the first half-dozen times I saw you in a dress. Though I'm sure everyone on the old Citadel appreciated your short dresses and lack of etiquette." Garrus said smirking. "Not to change the subject or anything but you aren't actually going to that stupid parade thing, are you? Tali and I were thinking of skipping it."

"I have to go. I already told Hackett I would. And if I'm going, you are all going too. I can't tell you how I've come to dread these things."

By this time, more of the old crew had gathered around the table. Liara sat down in Shepard's lap.

"Dread what? Undying hero worship? Men and women throwing themselves all over you? The galaxy singing your praises? " Jeff asked sarcastically.

"Believe me when I tell you, it is not as fun as it might sound. It's been just crazy the last two years. Everyone wants something from me even if it's just to touch me because they think I have some kind of magic power. Did you know that I have my own religion now?" Shepard said.

"Like literally? You're shitting me." James asked.

"I shit you not. There's like a cult of them on the Citadel and I find them following me all the time. Poor, deluded bastards."

"They've obviously never heard you snore or smelled your feet when you take them out of your boots after a long mission." Liara said smirking. Shepard mock-glared at her.

"Or seen you dance." Steve piped in.

"Or played chess with you." Samantha added.

"What a bunch of comedians. First of all, I don't snore. That is just a scurrilous lie perpetrated by a single person and yet to be proven. Second of all, it's not my fault that medical science can find a way to bring me back from the dead but still can't find a permanent cure for Athlete's Foot. Third of all, you are all just jealous because of my unique, innovative dance style. Fourth of all, chess is just dumb. What kind of game is supposed to simulate real war and yet no real-world war tactics work? Fifth of all, I'm hoping that now that you are all back and Javik is here, some of the pressure will be taken off of me. Let them worship the prothean for a while."

"I have no problem with the primitives worshiping me. It is as it should be." Javik said reasonably.

"So Lola, you really quittin' the Alliance?", James asked.

"Yup. It's a done deal at this point. After the parades, I am officially a private citizen."

"Aren't you gonna miss it? The travel, the guns…"

"I'm sure that there will be an adjustment period but I'm done." Shepard held up her hand and ticked off her fingers as she spoke. "Let's see, I graduated the Academy, became an N 7, became a Spectre, did my job during the War to end all Wars, and made it to Admiral. All in all, a successful career, I think." Shepard squeezed Liara a little tighter. "On to other things. I think the repairs to the Citadel are coming along nicely now, too. Right after the war, it was touch and go for a while. There was even talk of abandoning it and concentrating on the repairs on Earth and to the Relays."

Liara turned her head and looked at Shepard. "Who wanted to abandon it?"

"Vocal minorities with the asari and the salarians. Most humans wanted to save it." Shepard laughed. "We are just too stubborn to do the logical thing sometimes. It would have felt like a defeat to lose the Citadel."

Hours later, most of the guests had left but the senior crew of the Normandy remained. Everyone was tired after the long day but no one seemed quite ready to leave and the drinks were still flowing.

"I can't believe it's really all over. This really is the end of the journey for the crew of the Normandy." Tali said with a mixture of disbelief and sadness.

"We did it. The reapers are gone. We found our way back to Earth. It's over." Garrus agreed.

"I miss everyone who didn't make it to the finish line with us. I miss Ashley and Thane and I really miss Edi." Jeff said quietly.

The dark thoughts came to the forefront of Shepard's mind for only the second time that day. _I killed Edi_! But Shepard was able to push them quickly away because it was a day of happiness and gain, not loss. Shepard reached forward, put her hand on Jeff's shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

"I'm going to miss everyone here too. I can't believe I'm not going to see Benezia grow up. I've grown so attached to her." Tali said. Liara reached out and held Tali's hand.

"Me too." Samantha.

"Me too. I never even thought about having children before but maybe I should reconsider." Kaidan added.

"What are you all talking about, you bunch of sad sacks? Okay, I've had a few drinks and then a few more so I might get a little sentimental. You've all been warned but I've got something to say. The Crew of the Normandy will never be truly over so long as there is one of us left. Everything is going to change now sure but now we all get to decide what we truly want. It's the beginning of a new chapter for the Crew of the Normandy, not the end." Shepard stood up, her drink in hand. "I want every single one of you to know that you are not just ex-crewmen or comrades to me, you are family. You are my family and I love you all. If any of you ever need anything, all you ever need to do is call and I'll be there, no matter what, no matter when, no matter where. None of you better even think about not staying in touch because now that I know you are all alive, I will find you. Even if I have to go to the ends of the galaxy, I will hunt you down. You should all know by now what I'm capable of so don't even think about trying to get away."

Everyone was quiet for a moment until Jeff started laughing. Then everyone joined in the laughter.

"Good to see that the years haven't taken away your intensity, Shepard." Garrus said. "Now Liara, remember, when she starts to drive you crazy, just let us know. We will come, tranquilize her and take her away for a while so you can have some peace."

Liara only laughed harder.

"I sometimes wonder what the reapers were thinking. If I saw Shepard like that threatening to end me, I would just surrender immediately." Karin Chakwas said.

"I know the reapers were supposed to be unemotional machines and all but do you think that any of them tinkled themselves just a little when Shepard said stuff like that and got that look on her face?" Jeff asked.

"I'm sorry. That last part was meant to be a joke but I think my delivery was wrong. I might be a little intoxicated." Shepard said sheepishly. "But I meant the family part. And I meant the part where if you ever need anything, just call."

Liara got serious and spoke as well. "I second what Shepard said. I can't tell you how grateful I am to all of you. This day is only here because of all of you. Not only for what you did during the War but for everything that you did the last two years for me and Benezia. Our home will always be open to all of you. What was that phrase, James? Mi casa es su casa."

"That's it, Doc and thank you." James replied.

"Well, I hate to break up the love fest but it's early in the morning and I'm bushed. Not to mention, our two lovebirds here need some privacy or their wedding night will be entirely gone." Garrus stood up and it spurred everyone to life, gathering jackets and other personal items.

"Yeah, let's all get out of here. We'll go out together." Shepard pulled Liara up by her hand. Outside, the streets of the Citadel were still alive with people as it was one of the few areas open on the Citadel that provided any kind of nightlife. Everyone was waiting for taxis to take them to their respective homes. The first taxi pulled up and Steve waved his arm to Shepard and Liara.

"First taxi goes to Mrs and Mrs T'Soni-Shepard."

"Thank you, Steve. I'll see you all in London." Shepard turned around to wave to her ex-crewmen but they were distracted, whispering and giggling to each other. After a moment, they all turned to the taxi and screamed, in unison and loudly so all passers-by could hear. "We love you, Shepard!"

Shepard shook her head, a slight smile on her face. "You know what? I take it all back. You are all horrible people."


	45. Chapter 45

The incline of the trail that Shepard and Liara were on increased and Liara started breathing heavy. She stopped and put her hands on her hips. They were in pretty alpine meadowlands but now a large granite dome stood in front of them.

"I have to climb that?" Liara asked Shepard a little breathless.

"Yes but it's not that bad at all. Just a walk-up and the view from the top really will make you breathless."

"That's what you said about the last two forced marches that we were on. Really Shepard, when you told me that we were going to Earth and you were going to show me the sights, I assumed it meant newly-rebuilt skyscrapers, expensive restaurants and galaxy-class museums, not trees and mountain tops."

Shepard smiled excitedly. "You'll get to see all that next week when we meet up with the others in London for the first parade. But this week, we can do anything we want! Isn't this great?"

Liara just smiled and started up the dome. Shepard's enthusiasm was infectious. When they did make it to the top, Liara gasped at the gorgeous view. They could see granite formations, forests and waterfalls in every direction. Liara sat down to rest and enjoy the view. Shepard sat down beside her.

"Okay. I admit it. It is breathtaking here. It easily rivals anything on Thessia or anywhere else I've been in the galaxy."

"I'm glad you like it as much as I do. It's funny. I've never thought about it before but isn't it strange how we both grew up on different worlds and yet we have a similar aesthetic? We both find it beautiful here even though we are from places thousands of light years apart?"

"Well, we are both products of garden worlds so it makes sense. You seemed to know these trails and places. I thought you grew up in a grim and gritty section of an overcrowded city?"

"I did but I came here when I was a kid and I loved it. I was about 16 and decided that I needed to get away for a while so I waited at shuttle stops and hitchhiked my way across the continent. Where I grew up is about 3000 miles that way but it still feels like a world away." Shepard pointed towards the Northeast. "Coming here made me see for the first time that there might be a different world out there for me. That I might be able to have a different life than the one I grew up in. It was here where I first got the idea that I might join the Alliance. The night sky here is so beautiful. You can see so many stars. When I got back to the City, I started studying for the Alliance Academy entrance exams."

Liara put her arm through Shepard's and laid her head on Shepard's shoulder. Shepard pointed to the scene in front of them.

"That's Yosemite Valley. And over there is Half Dome and over there in the distance is Cloud's Rest. That's where we'll be going tomorrow."

Liara followed Shepard's arm to a very exposed rock formation in the distance.

"We're going to climb that? How far is the hike? Is it dangerous?"

"It's just a walk-up. Only about 23 kilometers round-trip and not at all dangerous. You're not afraid of heights, are you?" Shepard grinned.

"You know very well that I am. And only 23 kilometers? Is that the honeymoon that you planned for us? Forced marches up dangerous mountain trails?"

"Of course not! I'm going to pamper you."

Shepard rummaged through her backpack and took out a plastic bottle, two plastic cups and some cheese and crackers. She poured some slightly flat champagne into the cups and gave one to Liara. Liara laughed.

"Flat champagne in a plastic cup. You do know how to seduce a girl, don't you?"

"Just try to control yourself until we get to our campsite. Let's just sit here a bit and enjoy the sunset. To our future, Mrs. T'Soni-Shepard."

Shepard touched her cup to Liara's and then leaned forward to kiss her lips.

The next morning, Liara was sitting on a rock with her sleeping bag pulled tightly around her shoulders. Liara watched Shepard attempting to cook their breakfast over the small fire that she built. Liara could see her breath with every exhale and she was pretty sure that she would have turned blue if she weren't that color already. After going on a few smaller hikes the previous day, Shepard had surprised her when instead of pulling into a hotel or a cabin or even an established campground for the night, Shepard parked the skycar, shouldered a heavy pack, gave a heavy pack to Liara and then had them walk several more miles in the dark until they got to a spot that Shepard said 'felt right' and set up a primitive camp. Shepard looked at her and smiled happily, whistling as she worked. It was obvious that Shepard was enjoying herself so Liara was trying to ignore her own discomfort and be of good cheer despite the fact that she was freezing, she had slept with a rock digging into her back (not that she had actually slept much at all), her legs ached from the previous day's cumulative miles and she had been forced to squat over an impromptu hole that morning to relieve herself.

"Coffee's almost done, honey. There's nothing quite like a hot breakfast in the great outdoors!"

Shepard stood up from her fire momentarily, stretched out her arms and looked around at their increasingly brighter surroundings, the smile never leaving her face.

"Wow! It is just gorgeous here. I couldn't really tell how beautiful it was when we set up because it was dark but this place is stunning. God, I just feel so alive right now!"

Liara had to admit that the setting was lovely. Their tent was set up in an alpine meadow near a river with high granite peaks surrounding them on three sides. And she was happy to see Shepard so happy but until she had some coffee, she refused to speak. A few moments later, Shepard came over and handed her a mug of freshly-made coffee with a kiss. Liara just smiled as she tasted the coffee which had a decidedly burnt flavor but at least it was warm.

"Yeah. I think this is just what I needed. To get off that sterile, manufactured Citadel and get into nature. This is where we all come from, you know? Not cement and metal but earth and sky and fresh air." Shepard inhaled deeply. "Smell that air! That's the real deal. Not the manufactured stuff."

Shepard walked over and gave her a bowl of oatmeal with raisins along with another kiss. Liara tasted it. It too had a slightly burnt taste and had a consistency a lot like the cement that Shepard had been railing against moments earlier but at least it too, was warm. Shepard sat down on the rock next to Liara and snuggled next to her.

"You're very quiet this morning, honey. Are you having a good time?"

"Of course. It's lovely here."

"I'm glad that you're enjoying it as much as I am. You see that ridge over there. That's what we'll be climbing today. Again, it's just a walk-up. No technical climbing skills required."

To Liara, the ridge seemed daunting. It also appeared to have a steep drop-off on the side facing them as well.

"Do you have rope or some kind of safety equipment?"

"Nah! We don't need it. If you can walk down a walkway, you can walk right up to the top, no problem." Shepard thought about it some more, her brow knit in curiosity. "You know that controlled fall drop thing you do with your biotics? How many meters can you hold that for? You know, how high up can you jump from and not splat?"

Liara gave Shepard an alarmed look. "I wouldn't know. I've only ever tried it for a couple floors or so. Why, in the name of the Goddess, are you asking me that question now?!"

Shepard chuckled. "I'm just curious. Don't worry about it. It's just a simple walk-up I swear."

The couple were silent a few moments, eating their oatmeal until Shepard became curious again. "Okay, you know that pull thing you can do? Let's say that I was to fall off that ridge right as we were about to reach the top. Could you use your pull to bring me back to safety?"

"One more question like that and neither one of us is leaving this camp today."

Shepard bumped shoulders with Liara. "Oh come on! These are just idle questions. You're not the only one with a natural curiosity, you know." Shepard stood up and started removing her clothes. Shepard grinned at Liara. "I'm gonna go take a quick dip in the river to wash off a little bit. You coming?"

"Shepard! It's got to like 10 degrees out here! And that water has got to be even colder."

Shepard stretched and lifted her arms in the air. "I know! Exhilarating, isn't it? Of course, if you'd rather, I did leave some extra hot water in the pot over there and you can use that instead."

"That water is mine! Now go take your dip so that I can watch you walk away naked."

Shepard turned and walked away, trying extra hard to ripple her muscles and to walk on her toes to accentuate her muscular legs as she did. When she reached the stream, she bravely threw herself into the slow-moving current. She involuntarily gasped as the cold water covered up to her thighs. She then dove below the surface and came back up screaming from the cold as Liara watched and laughed. Shepard then quickly left the water and walked quickly back towards her clothes and the fire.

"Okay! Well, that's enough of a wash-up for me. Hand over that sleeping bag!"

"No way! You're not getting my bag wet. Get your own!"

Liara laughed again as Shepard dove back into their tent.

Liara and Shepard had just returned to their camp as the sun went down. The view had been spectacular as promised but all Liara could think about was getting back to into their relatively warm tent so that she could get some rest. As uncomfortable as it had been the previous night, Liara was so tired that she had not been able to think of anything else for the last hour of the hike. Maybe if she moved her sleeping pad just a little to the right, that rock wouldn't jab her in the back again.

"Okay, honey. You must be tired. Why don't you sit down while I strike camp?" Shepard said as she removed her pack and moved towards their tent.

"What?! Why are you striking camp? Why aren't we just staying here tonight? I thought you loved it here?"

Shepard smiled as she removed the sleeping pads and sleeping bags from the tent. "I have someplace different in mind. It's even better than this place. Believe me, you're gonna love it!"

Liara sat down wearily on her rock, her shoulders slumped. Her legs hurt from all the walking, the straps from the backpack had chafed her shoulders, she was pretty sure that she had a blister or seven on her feet and with the sun down, she was starting to get cold. Now, instead of diving into a warm sleeping bag in a relatively warm tent, they would have to hump all their stuff the few miles back to their skycar, drive through the darkness to another spot and then no doubt, hike for miles more until they got to another campsite.

Liara was just about to complain and put her foot down when she noticed Shepard whistling again. Liara had never seen her so happy in the whole time that they had known each other. She looked and acted younger than she had before. Like she didn't have a care in the universe and all the war and the death and the loss had never happened. Liara remembered how Shepard had told her that she had visited this place in her youth and it had prompted her to seek out and start a new life. Now, on the cusp of their new life together, Shepard had returned here to gain strength and comfort as well as to share this obviously important place with her. Liara got tears in her eyes as she thought about just how close she had come to losing this beautiful and wondrous soul forever. Despite the aches and the pains, she stood up and starting helping Shepard gather their gear.

A couple hours later, they finally made it back to their skycar. Liara could only hope that the next spot that 'felt right' to Shepard was not that far away and not too many miles away from skycar parking. Her legs were starting to ache and stiffen even more. Maybe she would get lucky and they would just be able to sleep in the skycar that night where it was warm and relatively cushy. Shepard looked over to her and squeezed her knee.

"How are the legs, honey? I imagine you didn't get much chance to hike a lot stuck on the ship that long."

"Honestly, my legs ache a little. I used to walk around the cargo bay for exercise but you know how cluttered that place is. James fashioned a couple treadmills since we so rarely got off the ship but to be truthful, once Benezia was born, I hardly ever used it."

"Don't worry, you'll get back in shape in no time. And I know what you mean. I'm actually a little worried facing Garrus in that shooting contest we talked about. I haven't shot a gun in the line of duty since the war and I just didn't get to the shooting range as often as I would have liked."

"Well, the only shooting he did while we were gone was in the make-shift range that he and James set up in the cargo bay and you know how short that is. He's probably even rustier than you."

Shepard chuckled. "But if I know Garrus, he is probably living at the range this week."

"What's the big deal anyway? You let him win last time. Who cares if he wins this time?"

Shepard grinned. "That was different. Then I thought it was very possible that one or both of us might die so I wanted to make him feel good. Now that neither of us is likely to die in the near future, I'm going to destroy him and his ego."

Liara only rolled her eyes at the comment. Shepard then set them down in another skycar lot and turned to smile at Liara.

"You ready for another little walk?"

Liara wearily opened her door and tried to keep the smile on her face. Just as she was about to throw her body out of the car, Shepard grabbed her arm to keep her in.

"Just kidding. We're not there yet but almost!"

Shepard brought the car back into the air, they flew over two ridges and Liara was surprised to see not unending forests and ridges but subdued lights surrounding a very majestic and sprawling lodge. Liara gasped.

Shepard laughed. "I told you I was going to spoil you. This is a very upscale lodge and I got us the best room in the whole place for the next two nights. It's even got a hot tub."

"It looks beautiful! Are you sure you don't mind?"

"I don't mind if you don't mind. Of course, if you prefer the tent…"

Liara hit Shepard's shoulder. "Jerk. Set us down right now! I can almost feel that hot water now."

Later that week, Shepard had whisked Liara away to a private black-sand beach in Hawaii. She had paid a tourism/life-guard a small fortune to get the coordinates to a small beach that was 'guaranteed' to be private and secluded. How it was guaranteed, Shepard had no idea and she could only hope that the man was true to his word. As they burst through the jungle and onto the beach, Shepard smiled. The beach was small, only a tiny patch of very black and fine sand surrounded by vegetation on one side and the blue ocean on the other but it was very beautiful and very deserted.

"Well worth the money."

Liara sighed. She hadn't even told Shepard about the money that Aethyta had rescued for them but she was still spending it like it grew on trees. "I agree, it's beautiful here but we really have to be careful with our money in the future."

"Right. But this is our honeymoon and my honey deserves the best that there is." Shepard leaned forward and gave Liara a kiss. Liara smirked back at her as she rolled her shoulders and shook out her legs, all of which were still sore from the very active six days prior that they had had on their 'honeymoon'. Apparently, besides being clueless about money, her new bondmate had no idea that vacations were actually supposed to be relaxing.

"Okay but what do you have planned for us here, today? Are we going to swim around the island? Deep-sea diving? Maybe wrestle with sharks?"

"You wound me, T'Soni. I'll have you know that the only thing I have planned for today besides the walk through the jungle to get here, is for us to lie out on the beach, soak up some sun, eat some food and maybe a leisurely swim when the mood hits. Though we can do some calisthenics if you feel we are not getting enough exercise." Shepard thought about it a moment more and got an evil grin on her face. "Though there are other forms of exercise that we might engage in instead. Are you going to show me your bathing suit yet?"

"No. We need to get set up first and then you promised me lunch."

"I feel as though I need some sustenance of my own before I'll have the strength to cook you lunch."

"And what kind of sustenance might be required?"

"Food for the soul. I need some eye-candy as inspiration."

"I don't think seeing me in my bathing suit is feeding your soul, Shepard. I think it is feeding your libido."

Shepard smirked again and moved closer to Liara, her hands gliding to the edges of Liara's cover-up. "Same difference."

"Okay. But this lunch better be as good as you have bragged it was going to be."

With that, Liara backed away from Shepard, looked around again to make sure that they were indeed alone, undid the belt on her cover-up and then let it fall down to the ground, revealing a dark blue string bikini that barely existed. Shepard whistled, her eyes feasting on Liara's mostly naked form. She moved closer to Liara once again, her hands moving over as much skin as they could reach.

"Forget lunch. I think we need that exercise that we talked about."

Liara backed away once again, a small smile on her face. "No, Shepard. You feed me first and then maybe we can exercise later. There must be some reason that you made me carry all this heavy stuff through the jungle."

Shepard sighed and started unpacking her backpack. "Very well. One bacon cheeseburger coming up."

"A cheeseburger? That's the special lunch you have planned? I thought you said it was something that I've never had before."

"You haven't had a real bacon cheeseburger! Now that we are back on Earth, I managed to locate all the ingredients for a real bacon cheeseburger and I'm going to cook it on a grill as it was meant to be! And for you, I've even got that horrible eezo seasoning that you love so much."

Liara tried to act coolly about the burger but Shepard knew she had her when the normally picky-eater asked for another one. Shepard laughed and teased her that too many more and the strings that she called a bathing suit wouldn't fit around her anymore. After cleaning up and putting the unused food away, Shepard lay back under the umbrella and was just about to doze off when Liara jumped up and held out her hand to Shepard.

"Come on. Let's go for a swim."

Shepard looked at Liara with one eye and then closed it again. "Too sleepy."

Liara tugged on her hand. "Come on, I challenge you to a swimming race."

Shepard smiled but didn't open her eyes or make a move to get up. "I'm a very good swimmer, Liara. And it's not good to exercise on a full stomach."

"That's the best time to exercise so that one doesn't get fat. You're not afraid of losing are you, Admiral?" Liara put her thumbs under her arms and did her best impression of a chicken. "Bark, bark, bark."

Shepard's eyes snapped open and she started laughing at Liara's horrible pantomime. "That is the worse chicken impression that I've ever seen." Shepard sprang to her feet. "Okay, you're on. Don't tell me that I didn't warn you, T'Soni and try not to start drowning because I don't want to have to save your life AGAIN."

They stood at the edge of the water and Shepard pointed to where the shoreline curved. "Why don't we just swim to that point in the land right there and back? Is that too far?"

"Oh please. I could swim that in my sleep. You do realize that the asari have a natural affinity for the water and that most of us learn to swim almost before we learn to walk?"

"Yeah, yeah. And you are related to sea mammals and have a larger lung capacity and lighter bones. I'm so scared. It's obvious that you still haven't quite learned who you are dealing with here so let's just get on with it, shall we? I'll even let you get a head start."

Liara looked around once again before quickly taking off her bikini. Shepard's jaw dropped.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting ready for the race. You can't swim fast in a suit. Are you not familiar with the concept of drag?"

Shepard laughed again. "Those two strings are hardly going to create a lot of drag. Whatever makes you feel better. But don't think that you are going to distract me with that gorgeous body of yours. As a matter of fact…" Shepard craned her neck like a gopher and once satisfied that the coast was clear, she took off her own suit.

Liara leered at Shepard and playfully tried to slap her rear. "Maybe you're right. Maybe we should engage in other forms of exercise instead."

"Oh no. It's too late for that, T'Soni. Once I beat you, then we can fool around. And once I win, I expect you to do whatever I command for the rest of the night."

"And when I win, you will do whatever I command for the rest of the night?"

"That's not going to happen so sure. I'll do whatever you say."

Shepard knew that she was in trouble within a few meters of the shore when Liara effortlessly pulled out ahead of her. She dug in and increased the power and speed of her strokes and kicks but whenever she was about to pull ahead of Liara, Liara increased her speed and kept the lead. This happened several times and Shepard actually saw Liara smiling while Shepard grimaced, struggling to get her breathing under control. It was almost like she was toying with Shepard. When they returned to the beach, Liara was breathing heavy but she easily won the race while Shepard was panting with the exertion. Shepard threw herself down on the sand on her back, desperately trying to get in air. Liara stood over her prone form, a self-satisfied grin on her face.

"I did warn you that asari are natural swimmers."

"No…." Shepard tried to speak but she was still breathing too hard. "No fair. I have body hair!"

Liara giggled and lay down next to Shepard on the sand. "Yes. I'm sure that's it. If it wasn't for that darn body hair, you would have beaten me easily."

Once Shepard's breathing returned to something approximating normal, she spoke again. "So, you're trying to tell me that all asari are that fast in the water?!"

"No. I might be a little faster than most. I was the Armali city champion when I was forty, before I went away to school."

Shepard's head snapped towards Liara. "What? You were the fastest swimmer in the entire city?"

"Yes. One year anyway."

"Liara! That's cheating! You never told me that. You are obligated to tell a person something like that before you marry them."

Liara shrugged. "It never came up. I think this is the first time we've ever had a swim together. You just assumed that you would be better than me like you assume that you are better at most things than other people. I was actually invited to represent our City in the Thessian Games."

Shepard's eyes got even wider and she turned on her side to look at Liara. "Wait a second! You're saying that you were actually the equivalent of an Olympian on Thessia?! I thought you told me that you were not athletic as a child?"

"I wasn't. I was actually quite awkward and uncoordinated in the different sports and it was only later that I learned how to dance well. I was kind of gangly and my arms and legs kind of outgrew the rest of me. That was actually an advantage in swimming though."

"So, what happened? Did you place?"

"I didn't go. I gave up swimming because it was just too boring and repetitive. I tried to find a way to bring a data pad with me so that I could read while I was swimming but it didn't work out."

Shepard laughed again. "You decided not to go to your world's biggest sporting competition because you wanted to read more? I can't decide whether this revelation makes you less of a nerd because you were actually good at a sport or more of a nerd because you gave it up to read more. Was that the only reason you didn't go?"

"As you know, I was very shy when I was young and didn't want to be the center of attention. It was okay at first because swimming is not exactly a popular spectator sport on Thessia but as I moved on, the races were televised and it made me uncomfortable. My decision was one of many disappointments that my mother had to suffer through, I'm afraid."

Shepard grinned at Liara. "Did you swim naked or did you wear a suit?"

"All swimming competitions are without clothing on Thessia. Our dermal scales naturally shed water and let us glide through water with less drag. Much like the sharks here on Earth but our skin is much more smooth and not sharp. We are aquatic mammals still in many ways."

"So, I'm pretty much married to a dolphin with opposable thumbs."

"Funny. Just like I'm married to a chimp with slightly less body hair and a slightly bigger brain."

Shepard chuckled. "I don't know. Some of those chimps are pretty smart and some humans are pretty hairy." A thought occurred to Shepard and she bolted up and ran towards their blanket. "Where's my omnitool?"

Shepard tried to run an extranet search but it wasn't working.

"Damn. I can't get on the extranet here."

"Looking for something in particular, Shepard?" Liara asked with a knowing smile.

"If your old races were televised, they have to be on the extranet somewhere!"

"You are not well, Shepard. Why would you want to see me in a race that happened decades ago? Or maybe the interest is in seeing me swim naked when I was the equivalent of a teenager?"

"Oh come on. Wouldn't you be interested in seeing a picture of me when I was younger? Just for curiosities sake?"

"Uh huh. I'm sure that it is intellectual curiosity alone that is driving you here. Unfortunately for you, all the videos mysteriously disappeared from all the sites on which they appeared around 3 years ago."

"Let me guess, right after we made a visit to the planet Hagalaz?"

Liara only smiled in response.

"Damn Liara. That was just wrong. You were destroying history there. That's just so wrong."

"I think history can survive without decades-old vids of young asarI swimming in a regional race."

Shepard went back over to where she had dropped her suit. She dipped the two pieces of clothing into the surf to rinse off any sand and then started to put them on when Liara came up behind her.

"And what do you think you're doing? I won the race, remember? I don't recall telling you to put your suit back on."

"Liara. There are certain parts of my body that have not been touched by sun ever. They will be burned in a matter of minutes. You don't want that as these are parts that are very useful on one's honeymoon."

"What I want is for you to stay naked. Now get back over her immediately and lay down on this blanket."

Shepard sighed but did as she was told.

"Turn over." Liara commanded.

Shepard rolled over so that she was lying on her stomach. Liara poured some sun block into her hands and then spread it on Shepard's firm yet soft behind. Liara smiled when one of her fingers 'accidentally' dipped into the crack and Shepard responded by gasping and unconsciously spreading her legs a bit.

"Liara. You realize that we are outside, in a public place and that what you are doing can actually get us arrested here on Earth?"

"Just roll over. I'll protect you from the hordes of police officers who are no doubt poised to sweep down on us at any moment. Just relax, Shepard. I have my omnitool set to alert us if any bipedal creature gets within 500 yards of us."

Shepard rolled over and started to squirm as Liara massaged the lotion over Shepard's breast and then down her hard stomach muscles. Shepard held her breathe as Liara's hand got closer to between her legs only to have Liara move her hand back up.

"Liara! You missed the area that needs the sunblock the most!"

Liara giggled. "I have other ideas for that spot. Now, you will lie perfectly still. You are not to move a muscle. Do you understand?"

"Fine. Do what you will."

Liara continued to move her hands over Shepard's skin while Shepard found it increasingly difficult not to move. Finally, just as Shepard couldn't stand the teasing any longer, Liara dipped her head and began licking Shepard in the one spot that she had not applied lotion to yet.

"Jesus Liara! You were worried about vids of you swimming? Do you have any idea how this will be if someone comes along right now and takes a vid of this?!"

Liara lifted her head. "Okay, I'll stop."

"No! I mean, I'm supposed to be doing as you say. I'm a woman of my word."

"Good. Now remember, you are not to move a muscle."

"Certain muscles might move on their own. But please continue."

It was not until they got back to their hotel that night, that they received the message from Aethyta. Instead of meeting them back on the Citadel before the start of their parade/PR junket, she was taking Benezia to Thessia with her immediately. Shepard and Liara frantically tried to reach Aethyta before she finally answered.

"Why are you kidnapping my child?"

Aethyta rolled her eyes. "Change of plans. Theres no way that you can take care of Benezia while you are answering questions from the press and being fawned over by your adoring public and I need to get back to Thessia to get your immigration paperwork through."

"I don't buy it. I have barely had any time with Benezia myself yet and now you are stealing her away. There is no guarantee that I will be given permission to go to Thessia after the two weeks and I will not be without my daughter any longer."

Liara was more succinct, her eyes narrowed. "Don't you dare leave the Citadel before we pick up Benezia!"

Aethyta sighed and rolled her eyes again. "You need to learn to trust more. I know for a fact that there is only one Matriarch who is blocking Shepard's immigration and she was an old rival of your mother's. I have...confidential information that I will present to her in person that will change her mind. I guarantee Shepard will be cleared by the time your last parade is done." Aethyta got what could only be called a predatory grin on her face. "I'm going to enjoy having this little discussion with the old bitch."

"If you can't get it done, I expect you to bring back Benezia immediately."

"Don't worry about it, Liara. I'll even find you a suitable apartment while you're gone. Just have a good time. Though I see that you already have." At that, Aethyta started actually cackling.

"What are you talking about?" Shepard asked warily.

"I'll send you the link. It's good to see that my prissy daughter is not as hopeless as I had feared. Of course, I expected better from you, Shepard. Goddess, do you even know how to move or do you always just lay there like a board?"

Before either of them could say another word, Aethtyta cut the call. Shepard and Liara looked at each other with panicked eyes. Shepard soon opened the link that appeared on her omnitool. Sure enough, the vid showed the two on their "private' beach at an intimate moment. Luckily, the vid was taken from far away and their large cooler blocked most of the 'good parts' of their naked bodies.

Shepard shrugged. "You can't even tell that it's us. We have plausible deniability."

Liara was more worried. "Yes, I'm sure there are plenty of tall, lean, blond human women and their asari partners who have sex on the black sand beaches of Hawaii."

"All we need is the possibility that it isn't us. We just deny it and sue anyone who publicly says that it's us." Shepard smirked. "Maybe next time, you'll control yourself when we are out in public."

"Yes and you objected so vehemently."

"Well, any other tall, lean, blond human females who are lucky enough to have a beautiful, naked asari with them on a beach in Hawaii will tell you that only a fool would say no to said asari if they offered to give them a blow job."

Liara blushed and smacked Shepard's shoulder. "Shepard!"

Shepard smiled and gave Liara a hug. "I'm glad to see that I can still make my much less shy asari blush. What's wrong? You aren't actually upset about this? Or about Aethyta taking Benezia?"

Liara buried her head further into Shepard's shoulder so her response was muffled.

"No. I'm just sad that our honeymoon is over and now we have to face the gauntlet next week. Goddess, I hate talking in public. It was exactly the type of thing that made me run away from my mother and her plans for me."

"Don't worry about it. I'll be right there at your side and once we are done, we will be free! No more responsibilities or duties. We can do whatever we want for the rest of our lives."

Liara lifted her head with a broad smile on her face. "It's true, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is, Mrs. T'Soni-Shepard."

The following week, after the first parade for the crew of the Normandy through the streets of London, the crew had been given the honor of being the first riders on the newly-rebuilt London Eye. When originally built, it was the largest Ferris wheel in the world and a technological marvel. Now it stood once again as an antiquated relic from a by-gone era and a symbol of humanity's stubborn determination not to let any enemy destroy anything that they held dear. No matter that skycars frequently flew higher than the wheel was tall and it had long since been reduced to a second or third-tier tourist attraction in London, the damn reapers were not going to take it away from them so it was rebuilt. Despite the fact that there was still a waiting list for housing a mile long, the wheel was rebuilt before many of the planned apartment buildings.

Shepard and the rest of her crew patiently smiled through multiple pictures being taken by multiple photographers and then finally boarded the monument to human thick-headedness. Once the door was shut, they finally breathed a collective sigh of relief.

"Well, at least we don't have to put on any more fake smiles for the thirty minutes or so we are on this death trap." Shepard said as she moved forward further into the car.

"It is rather tiring. If I have to answer one more inane question about how we met, I'm going to scream." Liara responded.

Shepard lowered her voice, tilted her head closer to Liara and nodded at Doctor Chakwas. "Speaking of screaming, have you noticed that Karin has been a little short-tempered today? I actually heard her say 'fuck off' to a reporter under her breath. I don't think I've ever heard her swear like that before."

Liara nodded. "She didn't even smile when we met today. She's always been the most pleasant person to work with. No matter what was happening, she was always the unflappable, congenial calm in the storm."

"Agreed. I'll have a chat with her later if we get a chance."

The wheel started turning and the crowded car got progressively noisier as it got higher, with people oohing and aahing as the different sights became visible. Shepard looked around and noticed that everyone seemed to be having a good time, glued to the large windows and chatting amicably with their fellow former crewmen. The only exceptions being Doctor Chakwas and Engineer Adams who were standing apart from the others, completely ignoring the view and seemingly in the middle of a serious discussion. Shepard made another mental note to gently ask Karin if there was a problem once they got a moment alone.

"Karin. Just talk to me. You know you can tell me anything."

"It's nothing, Greg. I just need to figure something out on my own."

"I'm sorry. It's loud in here. What did you say?"

Dr. Chakwas raised her voice a little louder over the rising din in the small, confined car and moved in a little closer to Engineer Adams. "I said, don't worry about it. I need to figure something out on my own."

"But Karin, if you tell me what's wrong, maybe I can help you with it."

Dr. Chakwas sighed, getting more frustrated by the minute. "Not everything is an engine that can easily be fixed."

"I'm sorry Karin. Can you repeat that?"

"Let's just talk about this later."

"What did you say?"

By this point, Dr. Chakwas was almost yelling to make herself heard.

"I said, let's talk about it later!"

Engineer Adams took Dr. Chakwas's hand. "Please Karin, whatever it is, don't shut me out like this. I can help you."

Suddenly, the wheel stopped moving just as they almost reached the top and the entire room became quiet with concern and shock just as Dr. Chakwas spoke again.

"You don't understand, Greg! I'm pregnant!" Dr. Chakwas screamed in the suddenly quiet car.

Everyone in the car froze as Dr. Chakwas turned bright red. Conversely, Engineer Adam's face turned white and he looked like he was about to pass out. When the words finally registered with everyone in the car, everyone awkwardly looked anywhere but at the couple. Shepard struggled to think of something to say to break the tension. Shepard moved to the window on the other side of the car, as far away from the couple as possible and pointed.

"Oh look everybody! It's Big Ben! Isn't that just fantastic that Big Ben made it through the War?" Shepard said, way too loudly. The rest of the crew pushed in behind her, grateful for a distraction from the awkwardness that had filled the confined space.

"What is Big Ben? I've never heard of such a thing." Liara asked, again way too loudly.

"Why, I'm glad that you asked Liara. Big Ben is a clock! It's a big clock that's been a landmark for London since it was built in the 1800s. Isn't it amazing that it survived?"

"Yes. That is amazing. And fascinating too." Liara responded as the others agreed loudly.

The awkward silence filled the car once again as everyone struggled to think of something to say.

"Does anyone know anything else about Big Ben?" Shepard asked.

Steve Cortez cleared his throat. "Well, I don't know anything about Big Ben but look at over there. Isn't that the new BioticBall stadium?"

"Yup. I think that's definitely a Biotic Ball stadium. I wonder if there are any games on while we are here?" James answered him.

At this, Doctor Chakwas stepped forward and sighed. "Okay. You can all stop blathering on because Greg and I have an announcement."

Adams still looked pale but at least he managed to smile as he spoke. "Karin and I are going to have a baby."

The crew moved closer to the couple to offer their congratulations and pats on the back. Liara stepped closer to Shepard and tried to whisper so that the prospective parents couldn't hear.

"Didn't you say that even with the longer live spans, humans still had only about a fifty to sixty year period during which they breed? Isn't Karin a little old..."

"I heard that Liara! You of all people should know that it's not a good idea to anger a pregnant woman when she is hormonal. Did you happen to tell Shepard what you did when you were pregnant?"

Liara just shook her head at Karin and gave her a pleading look. Karin gave her an evil smile in return and proceeded to address Shepard. "Well, one day about four months into our journey, Liara stormed out to the middle of the mess and yelled that if she caught anyone touching her private stash of tea again that she would throw them against the wall so hard that it would create a dent in the bulkhead."

Shepard looked at Liara, her face full of surprise. "Honey, you didn't really say that, did you?"

Liara crossed her arms, her face growing a deeper shade of blue. "Well, someone was stealing my tea. Who does that to a pregnant lady who doesn't even know if her partner is still alive? It's just cruel!"

Shepard looked a little wary but she smiled weakly and put her arm around Liara supportively. "Well, I'm sure she had good reasons for threatening the entire crew with grave bodily harm."

Karin only smiled again. "I'm glad you feel that way because next time, there will be only you for Liara to focus those wonderful hormonal mood swings on."

Shepard continued to keep the fake smile on her face until another thought occurred to her and she got a curious look on her face. "Okay. So we know how Liara got pregnant and now we know how Karin got pregnant but what I just can't figure out is how my male space hamster, Harold, became pregnant. Can anyone offer any enlightenment on this?"

Once again, everyone moved towards the windows and began talking nervously about whatever came to mind.

About a week and a half later, Shepard and the rest of the Normandy crew had just finished the last parade through the streets of New York. Garrus, Tali, Steve, Jeff, Samantha and a few of the other Normandy crew had agreed to move on to Rio so that they could participate in the great Normandy Shooting Contest and see James off on his N school training. Unfortunately, they arrived too late and the administration at the school refused to let them use the shooting range due to the fact that class started the next day and they did not have time to repair any damage that might occur. It appeared that the reputation of the Normandy and her crew had preceded them and the shooting contest was a no go. Garrus was bitterly disappointed and accused Shepard of pulling strings so that she wouldn't be embarrassed when he beat her. Shepard responded by promising to emasculate him the next time they met, either on the Citadel or Thessia or Palavan, where Tali had agreed to join Garrus for the time being.

Samantha had agreed to a two-year extension of her Alliance contract and agreed to stay on as Kaidan's Computer Specialist on the Normandy after Shepard had suggested that Astrea would make an excellent Communication's Specialist. Shepard got the impression that Samantha was ready to get off the Normandy for good but Astrea was so excited about the chance to serve on the actual Normandy that Samantha changed her mind. Joker, not surprisingly, readily agreed to stay on as pilot though Shepard couldn't help but wonder how that would affect his mental health with the ghost of Edi literally everywhere on the ship. Steve was off to help with the continuing rebuilding on Earth while Doctor Chakwas and Engineer Adams were both transferred to the Orion, an Alliance Dreadnought that could accommodate families.

After bringing James for his 'Last Supper' before N school, everyone had left to get on with their lives, leaving only Shepard and Liara to deliver Major Vega to his next assignment. Shepard brought James through the halls to his bunk assignment.

"Hey Lola. I don't want you to escort me to my room like my mommy or something. Why don't we say goodbye right here?"

Shepard smirked at James. "What's the matter, Vega? Are you afraid the other kids will make fun of you? Knowing you, if I don't, you'll convince Steve that going out drinking is a good idea and you'll flunk out your first day. Besides, I got something to show you before we leave."

They reached the end of the foyer and came to a larger hall. In front of them was a memorial wall that listed all the N graduates who had given their lives in service. Further down the hall was a large plaque that listed various names and years of graduation for past recruits. Shepard's name was listed several times. Shepard slung an arm around Vega's shoulder and nodded to the wall.

"You see this? This is the names of all the current record-holders in the different categories they have here at the Villa. You might notice that my name is still featured prominently in several different categories."

James looked closer. "Is that what that is? It's right outside the bathroom so I assumed it was a different kind of list." James peered at the plaque closer still, a grin spreading on his face. "Yup. Look. Right above your name, it says 'for a good time, call..."

"Funny. But I have a point to make here. When I was here, I was so green. I was so proud of my accomplishments. I thought I was the biggest bad-ass in the galaxy. But I realize now, that it doesn't mean shit. Everything I went through here and in the program was fucking child's play compared to the real thing. It's fucking child's play compared to what you've already been through. And your instructors know it so they are going to push you even harder. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad that you're here and I'm glad that there are people like you to step up and face the danger to protect the rest of us from the bad shit out there in the galaxy but most of it isn't worth dying for." Shepard looked right into Vega's now somber and determined eyes. "There is only one fucking thing that matters and that's to bring yourself and the people under your command back home alive. There are still plenty of stupid Generals and Admirals who will try to put you and your men in danger just to prove themselves worthy. Don't let them. You make sure that if you are going to risk your life and the lives of those under you that it's something worth dying for. If it isn't, tell them to go fuck themselves and walk away."

In response, James just snapped to attention and saluted Shepard. "Aye, aye Admiral. I'll do my best to make you proud."

Shepard returned the salute. "I know you will, Major. Now you better hit your rack because after 0500 tomorrow, you won't see it again for at least 36 hours."


	46. Chapter 46

Shepard opened the door to the new apartment tentatively. Liara, who had Benezia perched on her hip, peeked around her and smiled at what she saw. It had been an exhausting few weeks after their honeymoon tying up loose ends with the Alliance and fulfilling their duty to improve the morale of the galaxy by doing an intensive PR tour along with the rest of the crew of the Normandy. Aethyta, true to her word, had managed to get Shepard's immigration to Thessia through. Despite that victory, they had both been nervous when Aethyta told them that she had found them a suitable apartment right in Armali. One look put their fears to rest.

"I will be changing some of the furniture but this will do nicely. Who knew my father had such good taste?"

"In some things anyway." Shepard responded. "This place feels huge after living in my small Citadel apartment for so long."

"You mean, your cell? That place was awful. I hope you can adjust to actually living in a nice place after being institutionalized so long."

"It wasn't that bad. It suited its purpose. This place does seem awful fancy though. And there's no way that I'm letting Aethyta buy it for us."

Liara walked into the large, open kitchen next to the open dining area and looked around. She opened the refrigerator and smiled again as she saw that it had already been stocked with some essentials. Liara still had not told Shepard about the money from her mother that Aethyta had held for them, instead telling Shepard that her father had purchased the apartment for them. Aethyta had been right when she said that Shepard was not good with money and tended to be generous to a fault whenever she had what she considered to be extra.

"She can afford it. She got my mother's city home when my mother died. With the utility bills and home owner's fees to pay for the building maintenance and security, it's still going to cost us a lot of credits each month to live here even without a mortgage on top of it. Odd that it doesn't have a dish washer."

"I didn't know that they had owned a home together. What do you mean, your mother's city home? She had more than one? Let's go check out the Master."

"As I told you, my mother was a wealthy woman. She also came from, let's say, an advantaged background. And that's how I found out that Aethyta was my father. When I examined my mother's property holdings, her name was on one of the homes. "

Both women walked up the stairs together and kept opening doors until they reached a very large bedroom with large, picture widows that featured a sweeping view of the Armali skyline. Shepard ran and threw herself on the bed. She rolled around a little until she finally sat up and patted the bed next to her. Liara sat down on the bed next to Shepard and let Benezia down between them. Benezia stood on shaky legs and started jumping up and down.

"Comfy. I can get used to this. So, what you're saying is that you really are a Spoiled Rich Girl who comes from an aristocratic background?"

"You could say that. I know that my family has had money and influence for many generations but as you know, Thessia has not had any kind of ruling class structure for thousands of years. We have been a pure democracy for millennia."

"You poor thing. How far your family has fallen. Now you're married to a sewer rat."

Liara smiled. "Apparently, my mother started the trend. My father was from more modest means as well. I know that when they killed each other, her parents didn't leave her much wealth. She managed to do quite well for herself despite it."

"Not that you snooped around or anything." Shepard gave her a quick glance and a grin. "Ooof. That's my stomach, Bene. Throwing yourself down on the bed is okay just not on Daddy's stomach."

"Daddy!" Benezia exclaimed in perfect English. She started jumping up and down again, falling over to catch herself frequently with her hands because her legs were not quite strong enough yet for the uneven, yielding surface. Shepard turned to Liara with a triumphant look on her face.

"I told you! She calls me Daddy! And in perfect English."

Liara gave Shepard a small smile. "What are you talking about? I didn't hear her say anything."

"Oh come on! I know you heard that!"

"Heard what?"

Shepard turned on her side and began tickling Liara until she started giggling uncontrollably. Benezia squealed and threw herself down on top of Liara as well, wanting to be part of the game. She couldn't quite figure out how to tickle her mother so she just kind of moved her fingers over her mother's skin.

"Does that improve your hearing?" Shepard asked. "I won't stop until you admit that you heard her say 'Daddy'! And what about you, Baby Girl? Say 'Daddy' again." Shepard started alternating tickling Liara's side and Benezia's stomach until both were giggling and squirming.

"Uncle!" Liara yelled. Shepard stopped tickling Liara but continued to tickle Benezia's stomach until Shepard could tell it was starting to get uncomfortable for her. Both mother and daughter stopped giggling, took a deep breath and were silent. Momentarily exhausted, Benezia laid her head down on her mother's stomach and started sucking her thumb.

"I think it's a good idea for us to continue to talk to her in our native languages without a translator right now. She will become naturally bi-lingual." Liara reasoned.

"Agreed. They are just little Language Masters at this age. So much easier for them than for an old lady like me. I don't know why you have to have such a difficult language."

Liara smiled. "Are you actually going to try to learn asari standard now that you're living on Thessia? I'm flattered."

"When in Rome as they say. Besides, it's only fair. You learned my language. I warn you though; I was always lousy with languages. It might take me a while."

"It's the attempt that counts. Now, let me show you a little trick that I used while I was with the humans for so long." Liara brought up her omnitool. "I have this separate area where I jotted down all the phrases or words that I didn't understand so that I could look them up later without being rude to the people who I was speaking with. You can learn so much this way. For instance, if I didn't understand the significance of the phrase 'When in Rome' that you just used, I would save it so I can look it up later."

Shepard chuckled and shook her head. "I didn't say that I wanted to become a Super Nerd like you. I just want to learn your language enough to be a passable speaker." Shepard reached for Liara's omni-tool. "Here, let me see your list. You might want to add Super Nerd."

"You've called me that so often, it was added years ago. And I don't appreciate it either."

"It's a term of affection at this point." Shepard laughed as she scrolled further and further back on Liara's list. "This list goes on forever!"

Liara snorted. "That's because I've spent way too much time with you odd humans and your weird ways."

Shepard finally got to the very beginning of the list. The very first item listed was snafu followed by 'I should go' followed by sitrep and pineapple. Shepard remembered Liara complaining about the last one right around the time that they first met when she exasperatingly asked why 'silly' humans named a fruit a pineapple when it wasn't an apple and it didn't come from a pine.

"Very funny, T'Soni. You actually wrote down 'I should go'? Wasn't the translator adequate to explain exactly what that meant?"

"You said it so often, I thought that maybe it had special meaning beyond the obvious." Laira laughed. "I spent hours trying to figure out what you really meant by it. I even talked to the other crew about it."

Shepard sighed. "Oh yeah? And what did you all say about my very innocuous phrase?"

Liara chuckled. "I think Tali came up with the best, most exact translation. 'I should go' meant 'I like you and I have enjoyed our conversation but now I am getting bored or this conversation is getting awkward or I have something that I need to do so I want to end it but I certainly don't want to hurt your feelings and I hope that we will speak again.'" Liara laughed again. "Of course, that's not really the English translation but rather the Shepardieeze translation."

Shepard thought about it and frowned. "Okay, I admit it. That is almost exactly what I was thinking when I said that most of the time."

Liara smiled triumphantly. "I know. And so did the rest of your crew."

Shepard looked down at Benezia who was now breathing deeply and regularly with her eyes closed. Shepard stood up and moved around the side of the bed until she could gently pick Benezia up off her mother's stomach.

"I think someone needs her nap. I hope that there is a crib in one of these rooms somewhere."

Shepard started opening doors again until she found a room with a crib in it, right across from the Master. Shepard gave herself a mental note to thank Aethyta. So far, she had thought of everything. It was amazing to Shepard how competent she could be when she wanted to, despite her free-spirited, 'I don't give a shit' persona. Shepard put Benezia down in the crib and then touched her omni-tool until a small, holographic globe came out of it. The tiny VI would serve as a baby monitor so that Shepard would be able to hear her daughter through her omni-tool if she woke up. Shepard closed the door halfway and walked back across the hall. Part of Shepard wanted to finish exploring their new apartment. Another, bigger, part of her wanted to take advantage of this time to continue exploring her new wife.

Shepard walked back into the master bedroom to find Liara naked on their new bed and reclining with her arms over her head, a small smile on her face. It was obvious which activity Liara had in mind to occupy their time while their daughter slept. Shepard pulled her shirt over her head and quickly threw off her pants. The rest of the damn apartment could definitely wait.

After, Shepard was half-sitting up on their bed and Liara was resting her head on Shepard's stomach. Shepard was looking at her datapad. Shepard could hardly believe that she had finished all the work that needed to be done before she could retire and move to Thessia. Now, she had only to worry about living. All she was required to do was to be a parent to Benezia and a bondmate to Liara, just like a normal person. No more demands. She felt free but she was also felt a little lost. Shepard sighed. Liara lifted her head up to look at Shepard.

"I recognize that sigh. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. There is nothing wrong. There are no problems to solve or crises to react to."

"That's a good thing, right?"

Shepard ran her hand up and down Liara's arm.

"Of course."

The two women lay in silence for a few moments until Shepard spoke again.

"Liara?"

"Hmmm?"

"What do normal people actually _do_?"

Liara laughed into Shepard's stomach.

"Honestly? I'm not quite sure. I'm not so sure I remember how to be a normal person either. Thankfully, I have a job so I can ease into the whole normal thing."

The Armali government had readily offered Liara a job as a researcher charged with getting the Thessian Guildhall rebuilt and reorganized. The Guildhall was a repository for the entire history and knowledge of the asari. The reapers bombed it, despite its complete lack of military strategic value, to further demoralize the asari in a further attempt to get the biotic asari to surrender. A plan which largely backfired as it became a rallying cry to all the asari who remained behind when Thessia was evacuated. The building was almost rebuilt at this point but the artifacts and records that it had contained, remained a disorganized and jumbled mess. There were ancient artifacts recovered that no one had any clue about their significance or what their provenance was. There were giant holes in the historic records that needed to be reconstructed if it could be. Liara was excited to start.

"Just remember our agreement, Young Lady. You can work eleven hours a day, including commuting time and no more. Don't think that I don't know what a workaholic you are. I don't believe you when you say that you were only working that many hours of the day because of the reapers."

Liara lifted herself up off Shepard and looked at her. "About that Shepard, you do realize that Thessia has a longer day than Earth and…"

"Liara. We already agreed. You are not leaving me and your daughter for more hours a day than that."

Liara pouted a little. "Okay but what if I am right in the middle of something? Do you want me to just abandon the whole of asari history to be lost forever just because it's a certain time?!"

Shepard laughed. "No pouting. It won't work on me. And I doubt that all of asari history will be lost forever just because you have to quit for the day. It will still be there the next morning. That's how normal people do things."

Liara sighed. "Fine. But what if I'm right in the middle of something really important?"

"Then you call me and we decide that on a case by case basis. That is to be the exception rather than the rule."

"You are aware that the average Thessian work day is 10 hours long? What if I get stuck in traffic and I can't work the whole ten hours? Am I just supposed to leave early just to be home in eleven hours total? That would be like stealing! Do you want me to steal from the asari government?!"

Shepard chuckled again. There were only 329 days in a year on Thessia which meant that they had 11 months with thirty days and one month with 29 days. Since the day cycle was three hours longer than on Earth, the work day was ten hours long but their average work week was only four days with two days off. "Now you're just being ridiculous. The Guildhall is only 15 minutes away with traffic. I doubt there will be many days when the commute is more than 30 minutes total."

"Well, you know that there are five weeks in a month on Thessia. That leaves five weekends a month that I can spend with you and Benezia."

Shepard sat up a little bit more on the bed and Liara sat up as well. Shepard smiled at Liara.

"Okay, it's obvious that you wish to re-negotiate the agreement. What do you have in mind?"

"Well, I'm willing to concede the 11 hour workday but I've read the reports, Shepard. There's so much still to do. With the concentration on rebuilding the city, so few resources have been devoted to this project and it's very important. This is our history and our culture. It's as important as the physical rebuilding if not more so."

"Agreed. So, what's your proposal, Mrs. T'Soni-Shepard?"

"I was thinking that I would work the four 11 hour days each week but that I would also take a weekend day, just one a month mind you, to devote to the project as well. And then, maybe I can bring some work home and work here."

"Absolutely no to the last item."

"But I'd still be home!"

"You would physically be here but I know how involved in your work you get. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'll agree to the one weekend day a month but I do not want work to enter this house except in extreme emergencies and you have to agree to use ALL your vacation days every year."

Liara sighed. "This is just such hypocrisy. When's the last time, in your whole military career, when you used all your vacation days?"

Shepard smiled. "We're not talking about me. We're talking about you. And besides, that was before I had a family. So, do we have a deal?"

Shepard held out her hand and Liara finally reluctantly shook it.

"Okay, now repeat the terms of the deal and verbally say that you agree."

"I agree to use all my vacation days and I will only work one weekend day a month and I will only be gone 12 hours a day at the most."

"T'Soni…"

Liara smiled. "Just seeing if you were still awake. No more than 11 hours a day except in exceptional circumstances that shall be decided on a case-by-case basis."

"And if you break the terms of this deal, I will embarrass you. Me and Benezia will dress in our rattiest clothes, go down to the Guildhall and ask everyone we meet why you have abandoned us."

"Goddess! You promised me that you would be patient and try to learn the way things operate here so that you don't embarrass me, remember?"

"Who's more patient than I am?"

"Uh huh"

Once the Great Compromise of Thessia was reached, both women laid down again and relaxed. Shepard was just about to doze off when Liara spoke again, her mood much different than it had been just a few moments before.

"You and Benezia are more important to me than anything else in the whole galaxy. You know that, right? I want to spend as much time as I can with you both but I need to work."

Shepard pulled Liara tighter into her arms. Shepard was not the only one who had nightmares. Liara had witnessed so many horrors in her young life, including the death of her own mother and the deaths of close friends. She had been forced to kill and to make decisions as the Shadow Broker that had resulted in people dying. When her thoughts became too painful, Liara lost herself in her work, much like Shepard had attempted to do when she was still with the Alliance. It was a relief to completely get out of her own head and to be too focused on something else to think about the past.

"I know that, sweetheart. And if things ever get too much, please let me know. I'll let you work as much as you need to. Or anything else that you need to do."

"What about you? Are you going to be able to deal with everything? All the past? All the changes that you're going through?"

"I don't know. All I know is that I have a beautiful bondmate and a beautiful daughter and now I have a beautiful home as well. I feel happy for the first time in years. I haven't had a single nightmare since you two got back."

They were both silent for a few moments until Liara spoke again. "I still think that you got the better of me in those negotiations because you're naked. Next time, I'm going to demand that you put clothes on before we open the debate."

Shepard chuckled. "Funny, I was just thinking that you managed to weasel that weekend day out of me because _you're_ naked and looking at me with those baby blues of yours. Next time, I'm turning away from you before we start."


	47. Chapter 47

Shepard stood at the counter of the Office of Records and Citizenship at the main Armali government building. Shepard and Liara had decided that it would be a good idea for them both to get citizenship at both of their respective homeworlds. Liara easily gained citizenship on Earth after providing a valid marriage license showing her marriage to an Earth citizen, filing out the relatively simple paperwork and taking a relatively simple test. On Thessia, the paperwork and procedures, as always, were more complicated. Luckily, there was no line and Shepard walked right up to the counter. Unluckily, the counter was staffed by a bored-looking young woman who was too busy looking at her omnitool to notice Shepard's presence. Shepard recognized the woman as possibly another maiden forced to work early because of the loss of parents and more importantly, the trust funds that parents provided. It was obvious that the woman would rather be dancing or gallivanting across the galaxy rather than being stuck at that counter. Shepard cleared her throat. The woman looked up at Shepard with an annoyed look on her face.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes. That's why I'm here. I wanna become a Thessian citizen."

The young asari, or at least the asari looked young to Shepard who was having an exceedingly difficult time discerning whether the asari she met were 60 or 600, looked at Shepard with confusion on her face. After a moment, she slowly spoke to Shepard again.

"Juana, whether you can become a Thessian citizen depends on whether or not you have taken all the steps necessary to do so. Have you taken the citizenship test?"

"Why are you calling me Juana? I haven't taken a test."

"Your name is not Juana? Then why did you say it was?"

"I never said that it was."

The asari sighed in frustration before saying, "Fine, do you have your test results with you?"

Shepard shook her head in confusion. "I said that I haven't taken any test. As in, have not!"

"I see. Sometimes our translators do not pick up subtle differences in speech such as contractions, especially when the speaker mumbles or speaks too fast."

Shepard crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't mumble."

"I agree. You do tend to mumble a little. Perhaps if you enunciate more clearly and refrain from using contractions, this will go easier. Now, what is your name?"

Shepard thought back to how formal and stilted Liara's speech had been when they first met. Shepard had assumed that she spoke that way because of her social awkwardness. Now she realized that Liara, being the brilliant woman that she is, would have been aware of the difficulties of cross-species communications and she spoke that way to make it easier on the idiot humans that she found herself surrounded by. Shepard normally refused to use her fame to her advantage but it was apparent that this might be time for an exception. With a smile, Shepard replied.

"I am Katherine Shepard. As in Admiral Katherine Shepard, retired from the Alliance Navy."

Instead of reacting to the name as most of the other people that she met did, the Clerk just asked her the spell out the name and then typed it into her computer.

"Oh yes. We have you in our system. You are currently here on a Visitor's visa. Are you bonded to a citizen?"

Shepard looked at the woman incredulously for a moment. Did she seriously not know who she was? Did she really not know the famous asari that she had married? Even though they managed to keep their wedding private, it somehow leaked out and was on the front page of the tabloids for days afterwards. Did this woman live in a cave? Surely, being an asari, she would know of Liara, who had become one of the most famous asari after the War, even before her very highly-publicized return.

"Yes. I am married to Doctor Liara T'Soni."

The woman typed the name into her database.

"Was that T'Soni with one 'n' or two?

Seriously? Even before Liara, the family name T'Soni was a famous one on Thessia. Apparently, it was a famous one even before Benezia. Shepard remembered running a search on the name not long after asking Liara to marry her and was astounded to find famous T'Soni's, Liara's direct relatives included, going back thousands of years.

"That would be one 'n'."

The woman reentered the name.

"Yes, Maiden T'Soni is a citizen but she is listed as unbonded."

"What? That is not true! We were married less than a month ago. Perhaps you heard some mention of it in the news?"

The Clerk just looked at her.

"Do you have the paperwork that verifies that? What Thessian city or province or colony were you bonded in?"

"We were married on the Citadel. Let me show you."

Shepard brought up her omnitool and brought up the headline from The Armali Times: Commander Shepard bonds with Liara T'Soni. The woman looked at it.

"I thought you said you were an Admiral?"

'Commander Shepard' had become so famous after the War that it almost became its own trademark, separate from herself and with a life of its own. Because of that, news sources sometimes deliberately used her old rank when mentioning her to make sure that readers understood that they meant *the* Commander Shepard.

"I am an Admiral. Look it up. And that article proves that we are married."

"Yes, but are you bonded? Did you go through the formal civil or religious bonding ceremony and get the proper paperwork filed with the appropriate Court in your jurisdiction?"

"The Citadel recognizes us as married or bonded or whatever you want to call it."

"We are not on the Citadel."

Shepard felt her herself getting more and more annoyed. 'We're not on the Citadel? No fucking kidding! If we were, I'd have you arrested just because…' Shepard took a deep breath.

"Surely, Thessia recognizes marriages from other jurisdictions?"

"Of course we do. Once you go through the formal civil or religious bonding ceremony and get the proper paperwork filed with the appropriate Court in your jurisdiction."

Shepard shifted her weight to her other foot and crossed her arms over her chest.

"So what you're telling me is that Thessia does NOT recognize marriages from other jurisdictions? Despite the fact that the asari are infamous for traipsing all over the galaxy just to mate with other species? How is that right?"

Now, the asari looked offended.

"That was highly offensive! If you are going to use racial stereotypes, you can just leave!"

"That is not racist. That is simply the truth. I will tell you what is racist. My 14 month old daughter is automatically a citizen despite the fact that she has never even set foot on Thessia just because she is blue and has tentacles on her head!"

"Tentacles?! Did you really just use that offensive term about your own daughter? I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave! I'm quite sure that Thessia doesn't want you."

Shepard was half-way out the door, her fists clenched when she stopped herself. She had promised Liara that she would try to be patient in her dealings on the strange planet. She remembered all the time that Liara spent surrounded by aliens and their no-doubt nonsensical- to- her ways. Shepard remembered when Liara came aboard the first Normandy, she had faced hostile, sometimes racist, aliens, many of whom thought that she had no right to be there. She had carried herself with such patient and honest dignity and grace that even the most hostile crewmen had eventually come around and saw her as one of their own. Now, Shepard could follow her example or she could stomp out of that office like a self-righteous putz secure in the knowledge that she was right and the systems here were ridiculous.

Shepard took another couple steps towards the door until her better angels won out and with a sigh, she turned around. She went back to the counter. The clerk ignored her once again, of course.

"Okay, I apologize for my use of offensive terms and racial stereotypes. I am new to the planet and I am still trying to figure out how things are done here. Can you please help me through the steps to become a Thessian citizen?"

The woman finally looked up.

"Of course. And your name is?"

Incredulous, Shepard had to bit her tongue from yelling at the woman. Instead, she calmly spelled out her name again.

"Since you are not bonded to a Thessian citizen, you will have to fill out this 50 page background information form and then take the citizenship test. Assuming that your paperwork is accepted by the court after it conducts the background check and you pass the test, you will then become a citizen after you take the oath."

Shepard looked at the datapad that the woman put in front of her.

"Didn't I already provide all this information to the government when I got the Visa?"

"That is a different form. This form is to get actual citizenship."

"And when can I take the test?"

The woman put another datapad in front of her.

"Here are the example questions. The test questions are taken from these. Once you feel you are prepared for the test, you may apply to take the test at any time."

Shepard picked up the datapad and scrolled through it.

"There are a lot of example questions here! How many questions are on the test?"

"Only 500. You can miss 5 of them and still pass. The good news is that there are only 50,000 possible test questions and you already have them ahead of time. Isn't that great?"

Shepard's eyes got big and she stood there with her mouth open for a moment.

"500 questions? Out of 50,000 possible questions? And I can only get 5 wrong? How is that even possible?"

The woman smiled at her and put 5 more datapads on the counter in front of her.

"Don't worry. We provide study materials! Study the information on these datapads and you should have no problem."

"I have to study ALL the information on these datapads?!"

"Yes. But don't worry. Each datapad only holds a single Exabyte of information."

Shepard was not quite sure how much information that was but she was pretty sure she didn't want to find out.

"Okay. So, just out of curiosity, what are the procedures to become a citizen if one is bonded to an asari?"

"Do you mean if one is bonded to a citizen?"

"What difference is there? All asari are automatically Thessian citizens, are they not?"

"Well yes, technically, but a citizen has gone through the steps needed to gain citizenship."

"And what steps are needed for an asari to gain citizenship?"

"They have to fill out a form."

"And how many pages is this form? As a matter of fact, can I have one of those forms for my daughter?"

The asari passed her a very small datapad. The only information requested on the form was birth name, date of birth, place of birth, the mother's name and the father's name but that was labelled as 'optional'. Just as Shepard had suspected, if one was blue, one was automatically part of the club. Shepard just sighed.

"Okay. So, if I were bonded to a citizen, what steps would be needed to gain citizenship?"

"You would still need to fill out the same form and get it approved by the court following the background check."

"But no test?"

"No citizenship test is needed if one is bonded to an asa.., I mean, a citizen."

"Thank you for your assistance."

The woman nodded and a second later, was back looking at her omnitool.

Shepard and Liara were playing with Benezia on the floor of their apartment later that night when Shepard relayed to Liara what had happened at the Citizenship Office earlier. Shepard held the test question's datapad in her hand.

"Look at this thing! No one can learn all this stuff. I would take me years to study all this."

Liara smiled at Shepard.

"Well, I hate to say it but I think that's the point." Liara pointed to an animal in the book in front of Benezia. "And what is this, sweetie?"

"Cow!"

"That's right. Cow. Good girl."

"That's not a cow, Liara. That's a buffalo. Can you say buffalo, Bene?"

"Buffawo!"

"That's it, sweetie. Buffalo." Shepard looked at the datapad again. "I mean, look at all these questions! I bet most asari don't even know the answers to most of these questions."

"Well, naturally we want to make sure that those who become citizens know something about Asari history and culture. We are a democracy, after all, and everyone is expected to know about and vote on important issues regardless of which republic they belong to."

"Liara, there are advanced math questions on here. How will that better prepare me to vote on political issues?"

Liara smirked at Shepard. "My guess is that those questions are there to weed out the idiots. Despite our reputation as intellectuals, we definitely have enough of our own. We don't need anyone else's."

"What's that?" Benezia interrupted, pointing at her book.

"That's a…I have no idea what that is. Shepard?"

Shepard peered at the holographic image rising from Benezia's book.

"That's a koala bear. Like your Teddy."

"Koawa?"

"Yes, a koala bear. Your Teddy is a black bear but they are from the same family. Okay, I'm going to give you a quiz, Liara."

Liara just rolled her eyes. "I am a Doctor, Shepard and as you often tease me about, I've had decades of formal education. And I am currently working on restoring the historical records of Thessia."

"Well then, Ms Smartypants, you shouldn't have any problem then. Who was the person who designed the first Mass Effect engine."

"That would be Matriarch Dagna in 576 BCE. She is a big hero in Thessian history." The corners of Liara's mouth went up and her eyes twinkled. "Though I'm sure not as big as Commander Shepard will be in the future."

"If the Thessian preference for the home team extends to history, I'm sure it will be Liara T'Soni and her pet, some human chick, who goes down in history as the Great Hero of the Reaper War. Now, what corporation developed the first Mass Efffect engine?"

"That would be the Dassus Space Corporation in Dassus with the cooperation and support of the majority of the Thessian republics, of course."

"And who was the CEO of the Dassus Space Corporation while the first Mass Effect engine was being developed?"

Instead of answering, Liara addressed Benezia.

"Are you wet, sweetie? Uh oh, I think someone needs to be changed."

With that, Liara stood up and picked up Benezia, moving to leave the room. Shepard following quickly on her heels.

"Aha! You don't know the answer, do you? If you don't know the answer, how is any off-worlder supposed to know?"

"If you are so worried about the test, let's just get bonded. I'll help you with the paperwork, we'll get a quick civil ceremony and then hopefully, the court will be quick with the background investigation."

"Hah! Thessia bureaucracy and quick obviously don't go together. Have you seen the 50 page form they want me to fill out? They want me to list my ancestors and all immediate family members for the last 1000 years! Easy for an asari but most humans are lucky to know the names of grandparents and great grandparents, never mind before that. For me, it's impossible. I know the names of my parents but nothing else about them. I have no clue about my ancestors besides that one of them somewhere along the line probably herded sheep. And why should we get married again when we are already married?"

"Well, progeny of sheep-herders, It seems to me that you have two choices. You can decide not to be stubborn and we can get bonded or you can start studying." Liara smirked at Shepard.


	48. Chapter 48

_'Does this unit have a soul?' 'The answer to that question is yes.' Legion slumps over, sacrificing itself for its people and for peace. _Shepard wakes up panting, the tears streaming down her face. She bolts from the bed and runs for the bathroom. Before Liara can see.

Liara watched as Shepard left the bed and knew that something had to be done._ It's happening more and more. She's getting worse, not better. So much worse. _Liara threw the covers off and followed Shepard.

"Shepard, we have to talk about this."

"Nothing to talk about. I'm fine. Go back to bed."

Liara could feel herself getting angry. "You're not fine! You need to talk to me!" Liara paced outside the door. "Why don't you trust me?"

"I do trust you, Liara. I trust you more than anyone." Liara can hear that Shepard is trying to stop crying but she can't. Liara raised a hand, pushed with her mind and the locked door flew open. Shepard was on the floor, leaning against the wall, her knees pulled up to her chest.

Liara knelt down on the floor next her and started to cry. "Shepard, this isn't working. You need to do something. You won't tell me what happened. You won't tell me how I can help you."

"I don't need your help, Liara. I'll be fine."

Liara took one of Shepard's hands and tried to look into Shepard's eyes but Shepard continued to look down, refusing to meet her gaze. "You're lying, Shepard. You're lying to me and you're lying to yourself!" Liara took a deep breath and tried to lower her voice. "You're hurting Bene and you're hurting me. It's like you aren't even here anymore. You just go through the motions. When we meld, all I find is this darkness inside you, getting larger and larger. I'm afraid you're going to lose your mind. Please, Shepard, I'm begging you!"

Shepard looked up, her eyes pleading. "I don't want to hurt you. I would never hurt Bene. I just need more time."

"Time to do what? Why won't you just tell me what happened? Why don't you trust me anymore?" Liara said it with so much pain and frustration that Shepard could feel her heart breaking all over again.

Shepard looked at Liara for a long moment and for an instant, Liara thinks she is going to speak but instead she just looks down again. Liara dropped Shepard's hand and stood up.

"If you can't talk to me, you need to talk to someone. If you don't...If you don't, I'm taking Benezia and I'm leaving you." Liara's voice quivered as she said the last words. Liara got up and walked out of the bathroom. At that, Shepard sprung to her feet and shouted after her.

"Well then, you're the liar! I promised you that I'd never give up on you and you promised me that you would never give up on me! Don't you walk away from me, you fucking bitch!"

Shepard heard that Benezia was now awake in the other room and was crying, afraid of the shouting. Liara marched towards her room intent on gathering her up and leaving. Shepard repressed the urge to run after Liara and grab her arm. To somehow physically stop her from leaving. She could feel the old, familiar rage threaten to overtake her. _I need to get out of here right now! _Instead of turning towards her daughter's bedroom, she turned towards the front door and ran out.

Long minutes later, after running through the darkness, unthinking and without direction, Shepard finally got winded and stopped. She left the apartment in her sleeping clothes, just shorts and a tank top and the night air was chilling her damp skin. No money and nowhere to go. Shepard looked around her and thought that it looked familiar. _Need to regroup. Need somewhere to think. _

Shepard continued on a few blocks up town. There should be a hotel up ahead. Shepard had her omnitool but not her credit chit so there isn't any way she could pay for a room. She would have to break in and then worry about paying the owner later. Shepard made her way to the side entrance. She might get noticed walking in the front door. The way she is dressed would definitely attract attention even if the employees did not recognize her.

She managed to bypass the lock on the side door easily enough and to her knowledge, no alarm was triggered. Shepard found her way to the stairs and started walking up some flights. She tried floor seven. Lucky number seven. She walked to the middle of the hall and then knocked softly on one of the doors. When no one answered, she bypassed the lock and opened the door just a crack. Seeing no movement or bags in the room, she slipped in. It was obvious from the untouched bed that the room was unoccupied and would probably remain that way at least until afternoon as it was already early in the morning and unlikely that the hotel would be checking in many more guests that night.

Shepard threw herself down on the bed. Her mind was racing. Liara was leaving her. Or at least she threatened to. How could this happen? How could she be such a complete and total failure as a human being that her marriage only lasted 4 months? Shepard felt angry with herself and angry with Liara. She should have had better control of her emotions. She couldn't keep slipping up like that. It was easy during the day when she was conscious and could divert her thoughts away from the genocide that she had committed but when she was unconscious; it came back to her every night.

Shepard knew that it was just illogical and a waste of time and energy. There was nothing that she could do about what she did now so why did she keep thinking about it? Why wouldn't it just go away? She had a life to live and a daughter to raise. What's done was done. Right decision or wrong decision, there was nothing anyone could do about it now. So why was her own mind betraying her? Dragging her back to the decision again and again? Maybe Liara was right when she said that Shepard was losing her mind. Maybe this is how insanity started.

The next morning, Aethyta woke up early to the sound of the buzzer at her door. She dragged herself out of bed, mumbling to herself.

"Whoever you are, you better have a good reason to wake me up this early or I swear, I'll throw your fat ass right through a wall!" Aethyta yelled as she hit the pressure pad to open her door. She found Liara and Benezia standing at her doorstep. Liara had tears in her eyes and Benezia was still asleep against her mother's chest.

"Shepard and I had a fight."

"So what? You're bonded. Bonded people fight."

"This is serious, Aethyta. Shepard ran off into the night with nothing."

Aethyta sighed and stepped aside to let her daughter enter.

"We got in a fight and she ran off. I don't know where she is. I'm so worried about her and …"

Aethyta held up her hand to stop her daughter's torrent. She gently took Benezia out of her arms.

"Let me put her back to bed and then you can tell me what happened. She's obviously still asleep and there's no reason why she shouldn't get a good night's sleep because her parents are idiots."

Aethyta left the room as Liara paced, trying to think about how to explain to her father why she was so worried. When Aethyta returned, she nodded towards the kitchen.

"Come on. I'll make some tea and you can tell me why you're so hysterical about a little fight."

Liara walked into the kitchen and sat at the small table there.

"Okay, we had a fight but it's more than that. Shepard has…not been herself. Something happened to her during the war. Something that she thinks about all the time. She won't tell me what happened that made her so upset. When we…"Liara trailed off, more than a little embarrassed to be talking about all this with her father, who she still barely knew. But there was no one else who she could talk to. "When we meld, there is this big, black area of her mind that she won't let me near. She's afraid to let me see those memories and those feelings. At first, I thought it was just all the horrible things that we had to see and do during the war. I thought that she just needed time and then she'd tell me. I thought it would get better. Instead, it keeps getting worse. She has nightmares almost every night. I catch her just staring off into space. It's like her body is in the room but her mind is elsewhere more and more."

Aethyta nodded. "I know that she had a really rough time while you were away. I figured it was just a case of PTSD like so many soldiers have. With all the shit she's seen, it would impossible for her to not have some mental scars. She seemed so much happier once you and Benezia got back."

"And she was, for a while. But for the last couple months, it's just gotten worse and worse. She won't tell me what happened and she refuses to admit that there is anything wrong."

"Okay. So what happened last night?"

Liara let out a deep breathe. "Last night, she woke up having a nightmare again, crying. She ran into the bathroom and I confronted her there." Liara looked down at her hands on the table and swallowed. "She still wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I got mad and frustrated and I said something I probably shouldn't have. I told her that if she didn't talk to me that I would leave her and take Benezia with me."

Aethyta shook her head. "Well, that was a really fucking stupid thing to say. The first sign of real trouble and you're ready to bail. Like mother, like daughter, I guess."

Liara stood up, angry. "This was obviously a mistake to come here. I apologize for bothering you with my problems." Liara said coldly.

"If they find her body in the bottom of the lake because she couldn't stand the thought of the one person in the whole universe who she trusted more than anyone betraying that trust, then you'll have to live with it."

"How can you say something like that to me? You are so hateful sometimes. Shepard wouldn't do that to me. She wouldn't do that to Benezia."

"If you hadn't had the same thought yourself then why are you here? She wouldn't do it. But maybe this darkness inside her would. We need to find her."

With that, Aethyta started to make calls. She knew that a Shepard who didn't want to be found will not be easy to find. They will need to hire professionals, better than the police.

Shepard woke up to the sound of a door opening. She had only just entered a light sleep and she remembered immediately what had happened and where she was. She bolted up from the bed but it was not fast enough. An asari in a business suit came in the room with two uniformed security guards in tow. When she saw Shepard her expression changed from one of annoyance to surprise.

"I can pay. I just needed a place to stay for one night. I will pay you and then leave." Shepard stammered out.

The woman in the suit nodded her head towards the door and said "you two can go. I've got this." The two security guards left the room with the door shutting behind them. "I've got to admit. I was prepared to find just about anyone in here but I never would have thought that I would find Commander Shepard in one of my rooms."

"Like I said, I have money. I just don't have my chit on me but I will pay you."

"It's an honor, Commander Shepard. Oh sorry, they made you an Admiral so I guess that's what I should call you. My name is Alyona and I'm the manager of this hotel. Don't worry about money. Your credits are no good here." The woman looked around the room and saw the complete lack of personal belongings in the room. "Is there anything that I can get you? Anything you need?"

"No, thank you. And I insist on paying you for the room. I just need a room for a couple days. Until I figure out what I'm going to do."

"Suit yourself. As far as I'm concerned, you can stay here as long as you like, on the house."

"That is very kind of you. But unnecessary. I will leave in a couple days and will pay you when I leave." _So that Liara can't find me before then_. Shepard knew that if Liara even cared enough to look for her at all, charges to their bank account would give her away instantly. Without a chit, her movements could easily be tracked. But then, Liara was so angry with her last night, maybe she wouldn't even care where Shepard was. Maybe she wouldn't even bother to look.

"Very well. Please call the front desk if there is anything you need."

Many hours later, Shepard was sitting in a chair with the lights still off despite the fact that the sun had set hours before. She heard a knock on the door. Surprised, she opened the door. She stood aside as a floating tray moved into the room, full of various drink and food items. Alyona followed behind, a smile on her face.

"Don't worry. It's all on the house. I noticed that you haven't left the room all day and you must be famished."

Shepard narrowed her eyes. "Am I being watched? Why do you care so much if I am hungry or not? Are you looking for some kind of endorsement or something? Why are you being so generous?"

"Don't worry. There are no cameras in our rooms. We do have sensors that tell us if someone is in the room or not. I'm not looking for any kind of endorsement." Alyona hesitated. "Think of it as a gift from one soldier to another."

Shepard could feel the woman's sincerity and she relaxed. "In that case, thank you Alyona. I guess I am getting a little hungry."

"Good. Please let me know if there is anything else that you need."

Shepard needed not to be alone with her thoughts anymore more than anything else. Before Alyona left the room, she cleared her throat.

"So, you were a soldier? Did you see action during the War?"

Alyona stopped at the door and then turned around. She gave Shepard a humorless smile. "Yes. And too much. I was a Commando during the Fall of Thessia."

"I was here right before the Fall. It was one of the hardest defeats I faced in my whole career. How did you manage to get off planet?"

"I didn't." Alyona sat down in one of the chairs at the small table where Shepard's food had been laid out. "I was a Commando with the Armali City Guard when the Reapers came. When it became obvious that Thessia was gone and what was left of High Command ordered the evacuations, I and the rest of the Guard were tasked with staying behind to fight the reaper troops. To delay them to buy the civilians as much time as possible to get off planet."

Shepard started drinking one of the ales left her and offered one to Alyona.

"A suicidal mission if ever there was one. So, how did you survive?"

"I survived because you saved us, Admiral Shepard." Alyona smiled as Shepard rolled her eyes and waved away the thought with one of her hands. "There were thousands of us in the Guard. All of us highly trained and experienced. All of us strong biotics. But we were no match for those monsters that they sent here. They just kept coming and coming. It didn't matter how many we killed. Kill one and it was replaced by three more."

"I know all about that. The longer the fighting went on, the more people they captured and the more creatures they turned out."

"Right. Well, we fought them for days, weeks. Out of the thousands of Guards who started the fight, they whittled us down until there were just a few dozen of us left." Alyona stood up and looked out the window. "They had us cornered in a half-destroyed building that used to stand right…there." Alyona pointed out the window to where a new, gleaming building now stood. "We were almost out of ammo. We were almost starving and all of us were so weak, we could barely manage a barrier, never mind a warp. And then suddenly, there was this red light and then the reapers just fell over."

Alyona sat back down and put her hand on Shepard's arm briefly. "That was you. We were that close to death and then by some miracle, it was over and we had survived. I don't know exactly what you did up there on that Citadel far away in the Sol System but whatever you did, you saved us. That is not an abstraction to me and the thousands, millions of soldiers who were fighting and dying at that very moment. And we will never forget it."

"It wasn't me. It was the galactic fleet. It was all the scientists who built the Crucible. It was all the members of the fleet who sacrificed themselves so…

"But it was you who fired the Crucible. It was you who made it up to the Citadel against all odds and it was you who managed to fire the Crucible. It was you who made the monsters go away. If it weren't for you, the ships and the scientists and the soldiers wouldn't have mattered. It's obvious that you are haunted by the War. I can see it in your eyes. Anyone who's been there would be able to see it. So, that's why I say, if you are having problems with your bondmate or having problems dealing with the ghosts or whatever reason you are here, you are welcome to stay here for as long as you like because I know what you did and I am in your debt. We all are. And if the corporation that owns this place objects, they can just go fuck themselves."

Shepard kept her eyes down and mumbled. "Thank you. I appreciate you saying that. I won't take advantage of your generosity too long."

"Take as long as you like, Admiral and I mean that."

Liara was pacing in her living room late at night, unable to sleep. There had been no sign of Shepard all day and all night. How could she say such a stupid thing to the woman she loved more than anything else in the galaxy? She was trying to bring Shepard closer to her again but instead, she had pushed her further away than ever. Her father was right. If something happened to Shepard, it would be her fault. How ironic would it be for Shepard, who was loyal to a fault, who was always faithful to her duty, her ideals and her friends, to fall now after all that she had been through because Liara just wasn't as good a person as Shepard? Liara felt beyond worthless.

Aethyta came into the room behind her and put a hand on Liara's shoulder. Liara jumped; too absorbed in her own morbid thoughts to notice that she had entered the room.

"Nothing yet?"

"Still no word. She hasn't tried to make contact and she hasn't used any money. According to the people you hired, she hasn't been seen by anyone. How is that possible if she's okay?"

"Are you forgetting who you're talking about here? She's an N7, she's a Spectre. If she doesn't want to be seen, she won't be seen. She's probably just somewhere thinking about what to do." Aethyta sighed. "I owe you an apology. Even after all these years, I still have anger towards your mother and I took it out on you. You remind me so much of her."

"I'm nothing like my mother. She was so much better than I'll ever be. Shepard deserves someone better than me."

"That's not your judgment to make. She's loves you. No doubt about that. I don't know what happened to her or why she's so upset but you are her sun. Without you, she wouldn't have made it."

"Then why is she getting worse now? Before I came back, she was getting her life back in order. She didn't have this blackness."

"You're wrong. She's strong so I hope that she would have eventually gotten herself back but she was a shell before you returned. I saw her before and I saw her after you returned and the difference was night and day. The light had returned to her eyes. Maybe she is getting worse now that you are back because she knows that she needs to deal with whatever it is that's eating her alive. She needs to deal with it before you can ever have your life together."

"I shouldn't have pushed her. If I were like my mother, I would have been wise enough to see that."

Aethyta smiled. "No, you're not your mother. I bet if she were here, she'd tell you herself that you are so much stronger than she ever was at your age and so much smarter and so much wiser."

"Well, none of it matters because I've failed her when she needed me the most."

"You don't know that. When she comes back, you need to be strong. You need to help her with whatever this is. The rest is up to her. You can't fix her. She has to do that herself. All you can do is be strong and stand by her."


	49. Chapter 49

_Kathy crept closer to her foster parent's door. She had heard them yellng at each other and she needed to make sure that it wasn't about her. She had gotten in trouble at school the other day but her foster parents hadn't punished her yet, which was odd. She hit some stupid boy who was being mean to her and you weren't supposed to ever hit anyone at school, even if they were a complete asshole and they deserved it. You weren't supposed to call them a fucking asshole at school either even if they were and she had done that to the stupid boy too. She had no idea why she always seemed to get in trouble more than the other kids at school. All she knew is that she would get really, really mad sometimes and she wanted to hit someone. _

_Most of the time, she could control it but sometimes she couldn't. Sometimes, the other person was so much of an asshole, that she didn't even try to control it and she just let loose. She'd had foster parents before and they had thrown her back, telling the people at Child Protective Services that she was a good kid but that she was just too 'energetic' for them. Kathy knew that was just a code word meaning that they thought she was a brat and that they couldn't stand her. But John and Hannah had been different. They had been good to her. When she had gotten in trouble in the past, they let her cool down and then they talked to her. They told her that she couldn't go around hitting people even when they deserved it. They had always punished her but they didn't throw her back. _

_They were nice to her and she liked it here even if they always made her go to school and they made her take a bath every night, even when she wasn't dirty. This didn't make any sense to Kathy as she knew that there were shortages of clean water on Earth. When she had suggested one night that they send the clean water to the people who didn't have any instead of making her take a bath, they had both just laughed and made her take the bath anyway. _

_She liked school too, mostly, and always got good grades. Getting A's was easy for her even though she sometimes had a hard time sitting still and she sometimes got bored. When she got bored, she started talking to the other kids in class and the teacher would yell at her. She loved recess and gym class when she was able to run around and scream as much as she wanted without getting in trouble. _

_Kathy thought that her foster parents liked having her here too. She had been here for almost two years now. On her eighth birthday, her foster parents had even gotten her an omnitool of her very own, saying that 'their little scholar' needed it for school. It had a parental lock on it but she had learned from a kid at school how to remove it so that she could search anywhere she wanted on the extranet. It was a used, cheaper model but it was all hers and it was her most prized possession besides the nice, new backpack that her foster parents had also gotten for her. She knew that her foster parents didn't have a lot of money but they got her nice stuff anyway. _

_That's why she hit that stupid Roger right in the nose. He had showed off his newer, more expensive omnitool and dismissed hers as a piece of shit. He knew she was an orphan so he called her a Street Rat in front of all the other kids. He then said that her foster parents were just poor pieces of trash while his father was rich. Kathy knew it wasn't true. Rich kids went to private schools in the rich parts of the city. They didn't go to run-down public schools in their dumpy neighborhood but it made her mad anyway so she hit him with all her might. He fell to the ground like a little baby and started crying. He didn't even try to fight back. So then the teachers came and she got in trouble even though he was the asshole who started the whole thing. _

_Her foster parents came to the school to pick her up. They told her that what she did was wrong and that no matter what he said to her, she shouldn't have hit him. They explained that words being said, no matter how bad the words, didn't justify anyone hitting anyone else. That words were just words and that they couldn't really hurt her so she should just ignore them. When she had asked them why if words were just words, she always got in trouble from the teachers at school when she said swear words, they didn't respond and she saw John give Hannah a small smile. _

_Despite the lecture, they didn't punish her which was weird because they always made her stay in her room after school instead of being allowed to go outside to play with the other kids when she got in trouble. They even took away her omnitool to make it especially boring but they let her read her books at least. But this time, she had not been punished and she noticed that her foster parents were acting weird. They had been fighting more since John lost his job. Hannah still had her job but her hours had been cut so she was working less too. _

_Kathy snuck up to their door as quietly as possible and tried to hear their whispered words. _

_"We have to face facts here. There's nothing left! I can't find a job anywhere else. What are we supposed to do when we they kick us out of this place?" Kathy heard John say. Hannah didn't respond right away and Kathy could hear her crying. Finally, Hannah spoke._

_"Well, we can't do that! Anything but that. I don't care what I have to do for money, I'll do it!" _

_Kathy relaxed a little bit. They weren't fighting about her at all. They were just fighting about money again. She was safe. Kathy tiptoed back to her own room. She felt bad for her foster parents. They never seemed to have enough money and they talked about it all the time. Despite that, every day they gave her a credit chit with money on it so that she could buy lunch from the school cafeteria. She determined that she would just eat breakfast and dinner that week and would give the credits back to Hannah at the end of the week. Most of the food at school was shit anyways except for pizza day. Maybe she would buy lunch on pizza day but the rest of the week she would skip it no matter how hungry she got. Kathy smiled at the thought of how happy her foster parents would be when they got all that money back. _

_The next week, Kathy skipped lunch at school. She even resisted the urge to buy lunch on pizza day. Some of the teachers noticed that she wasn't eating and asked her about it. She lied and said that she had already eaten. There were so many kids that the few teachers had to watch that they didn't even question her lie. _

_When she got back home on Friday, Hannah was home alone. She had been quiet all that week. John was gone as he had been most of the week. Hannah usually laughed a lot but Kathy had not heard her laugh at all for days. Kathy knew how to make her smile. She went up to her foster mother and held out the credit chit, a huge smile on her face. Hannah looked at the chit, confused._

_"What's this?" _

_"It's my credit chit. I didn't eat lunch all week long. Now you can use that money to pay the rent so we don't get kicked out." _

_Instead of taking the chit or smiling as Kathy had expected, Hannah burst into tears. Hannah put her arms around Kathy's back and pulled her in tightly, still sobbing. After getting her crying under control, Hannah continued to hold her and finally said,_

_"You're a good girl, Katherine Shepard. You're a good person. No matter what happens, don't let anyone ever tell you that you aren't." _

_After that, Hannah got up and fixed Kathy a nice, big snack of spaghettios even though dinner was only an hour or two away anyway. John didn't come home that night so they had dinner later than usual. Kathy was happy that she got her snack or she would have been starving. When she asked Hannah where John was, Hannah responded that he was out looking for a job and fingers crossed, he would get it. Kathy tried to remember to keep at least her fingers crossed the rest of the night. Crossing her toes was hard and it made her walk funny. _

_The next morning, Kathy and Hannah were in the kitchen when John walked in. His face was expressionless as he shook his head at Hannah, who burst into tears again. John then came over, picked up Kathy and gave her a long hug. Kathy felt a funny feeling in her stomach. She couldn't understand why her foster parents were acting so weird and why they were so sad but she got the idea that it might have something to do with her. She was not safe. When John put her down again, she asked, "Are you gonna throw me back?" _

_John didn't respond for a long time. He had tears in his eyes but he managed to smile at Kathy._

_"Why don't you go outside and play with the other kids for a bit? I need to talk to Hannah and then later on, we will go out for ice cream."_

_Kathy went outside but she didn't play with the other kids. The funny feeling in her stomach didn't go away. She sat down on the steps to their apartment building until hours later when her foster parents came out for her. They took the skybus to her favorite ice cream place by the ocean. She had a sundae. John and Hannah smiled at her the entire time but she could tell that it wasn't real. Then they walked along the beach and sat down on a bench. John put Kathy in his lap. _

_"We have to go away for a bit, Kathy. I can't find a job anywhere in the city and we are out of money. We are going to a colony in space to work. They don't allow children in this colony so we can't take you with us. Once we make enough money, we will come back for you. We have to take you back to the orphanage today but it's only temporary. Once we come back, we will adopt you and you will be our daughter." _

_Kathy started to cry. "If you need money, you can take back my omnitool and sell it. And my backpack too." _

_John smiled sadly and shook his head. "That won't be enough money. You keep your stuff until we get back." _

_Kathy's thoughts were a jumble. Were they really going to come back for her? Or were they just saying that to make her feel better? Or to make it easier on themselves? Was money really the reason they were going away or was it because she was bad sometimes? _

_"You're coming back? For real?"_

_"For real, Peanut. It will take us about eight months to get the money but then we will be back." _

_Kathy spoke in a quiet voice. "Do..do you promise?" _

_"I promise."_

_Hannah took Kathy off John's lap and pulled her onto her own lap and held her close. _

_"I promise too. God, I'm going to miss you so much! I love you so much."_

_Neither one of them had ever said that to her before. No one had ever said that to her before. Kathy smiled through her tears. _

_"You mean it?"_

_"Yes, I mean it. I love you, Kathy. And if you will have us, after we get back, we want you to be our daughter for good." _

_Kathy threw her arms around Hannah's neck. After sitting for a while longer, they all got back on the skybus and made the trip across the city to the orphanage. Kathy tried to act brave but the closer they got, the more afraid she became. She remembered this place. She hated this place. She remembered being thrown back here by other foster parents. She remembered the older kids beating her up and taking what few things she had. She remembered that some of the grown-ups were nice but there were so many kids here and so few grown-ups that they weren't much help at all. She would be on her own again. She was not safe. _

_Were her foster parents really going to come back for her? They seemed to be telling her the truth but there was nothing she could do if they weren't. Maybe if she had been a better kid, they wouldn't be throwing her back like this. Maybe if she didn't get so mad and didn't hit anyone, they would have kept her. Her foster parents walked her up to the Director of the orphanage and gave her the backpack filled with her stuff. First, John gave her a hug goodbye and then Hannah. They told her again that they loved her and that they would come back for her. _

_Kathy could feel her heartbeat start to race as she watched her foster parents walk away. She could feel the firm hand of the Director on her shoulder tighten as her foster parents got closer to the door, keeping her from moving. Maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe if she promised to be a good girl this time, they wouldn't leave her here. Maybe if she promised to never fight or swear or get really mad again, and she really, truly meant it, they would give her another chance. She watched as John and Hannah reached the door and then it closed behind them. _

_Kathy wrenched away from the hand of the Director and ran towards the door as fast as she could. The door opened for her and she spotted her foster parents just as they were about to get on the skybus. She ran towards them and started shouting. _

_"Wait! Please don't leave me here! I'll be a good girl. I won't hit anyone ever again. Please don't leave me...Please!" _

_It was too late. Her foster parents either didn't hear her or didn't want to hear her and the doors of the skybus closed with them inside. The Director came up behind her and grabbed her just as the bus lifted into the air and moved away. _

Shepard woke up in the darkened hotel room two mornings after running away from home. She came back to the present and had to laugh at herself._ Well, that was pathetic_. She hadn't had that nightmare in decades. She hadn't even really thought about her foster parents much in decades. They never came back for her and she had stopped wondering why many years ago but she didn't need to be a Doctor of Psychology to figure out why she was thinking about them now. She was no longer a little girl trying to be good so that someone would love her but that fear of abandonment remained and it was the thing that was keeping her from being honest with her bondmate. But Liara deserved to know. It was time to stop running away like a frightened little girl.

Shepard was terrified that Liara would not, or rather could not, love her anymore if she knew what Shepard had done but she deserved to know the truth. She was afraid to look into Liara's eyes and not see the overpowering love she felt for Liara reflected back at her. But even if Shepard could never tell anyone else, Liara deserved to know the choice that Shepard had made and who she had really married. They could never have a real marriage if she didn't tell her everything. Shepard considered just going home but maybe it would be better if she told her away from their home. That way, Liara could go back home and Shepard could stay here. Maybe if Liara just couldn't love her anymore, she would still let her be part of Benezia's life. She knew that since they were not officially bonded under Thessian law, she had no legal rights to Benezia. But then, maybe Benezia would be better off without her. Shepard was incredibly attached to her daughter but Bene was young and would soon forget the human who had been in her life for just a few brief months. Shepard buzzed Liara. Liara answered immediately and came into view above her omnitool.

"Shepard?!"

"It's me Liara. I need …

"I'm so sorry Shepard! I didn't mean what I said. Please come home!"

Liara's voice was cracking and Shepard could see that she had been crying. Shepard felt strangely calm and her voice betrayed no emotion. She was just so drained after the last few days.

"Actually, I need to talk to you Liara. I think it's better if you came here."

"Okay. Where are you?"

"The Golden Goddess, room 723. Do you know where it is or do you want me to send the coordinates to your omnitool?"

"I know where it is. I'll be right there. Sit tight, I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Don't rush, Liara. Please drive carefully. And if you could bring me a bag with some of my clothes and my credit chit, I'd appreciate it."

Liara's heart grew cold.

"Why…why do you need a bag? You aren't coming home with me?!"

Shepard watched as a tear ran down Liara's cheek. _No matter what I do or how hard I try, I just keep hurting her. _

"I don't know that yet. I have only the same clothes that I left the house in and I want to change. It doesn't mean anything."

"Okay. I'll be right there."

"Drive careful. See you soon."


	50. Chapter 50

When Liara got to the hotel, Shepard felt her courage fading. She didn't even know where to start. She knew that she wanted to tell Liara but how could she even explain everything that happened? After trying so hard to bury the memories of what happened on the Citadel that day, would she even be able to vocalize it? Liara sat in front of her, trying to be patient. She reached out a hand to touch Shepard's hand.

"You were right all along, Liara. Something happened on the Citadel once I made it up that beam." Shepard paused, trying to think of the words. "It wasn't just a matter of pushing a few buttons. I did something horrible…"

Liara waited a few more minutes as Shepard tried to find the words. After a few minutes more, Liara couldn't wait any longer.

"If you can't tell me the whole thing, just show me." Liara said gently, her voice pleading.

Shepard only nodded her head slightly. Liara held Shepard's hands as her eyes glazed black.

"Don't fight me. Please don't fight me."

Despite the fact that Shepard agreed to the meld and agreed to show Liara her memories from the Citadel, it was difficult for Liara to start and maintain the meld. It had not been this difficult since the first time that she had joined with Shepard back on the first Normandy all those years ago. Shepard's sub-conscious reflexively fought against the meld and Shepard's conscious mind was so used to hiding this part of her memories from Liara that Shepard had to concentrate to allow Liara past the well-fortified walls in her mind. When Liara finally made it past Shepard's mental barriers, she was instantly flooded with a tidal wave of memories, pictures, thoughts and feelings.

The pain was so intense that Liara recoiled and she had to break the meld. Guilt, sadness, anger, hatred, revulsion, terror, self-loathing. For a moment, Liara was so overwhelmed that she couldn't move, couldn't think. The pain was worse than any physical or emotional pain that she had ever experienced. And she had only been able to tolerate it for a couple of minutes. _How can anyone live with that pain in their heads all the time? How can anyone box in that pain in one section of their mind and go about living?_ Liara looked back over at Shepard who was sobbing and in a fetal position on the bed._ I have to do something. I'm losing her. I can't lose her again. _

Liara forced herself to move over to Shepard. She held Shepard as tightly as she could. She forced herself to enter Shepard's mind once more and forced herself to resist the urge to recoil from the pain this time. Using every ounce of will that she had, she pushed aside the pain and replaced it with memories, images, feelings of the good times that they had had together. _I love you so much, Shepard. I will never leave you_. Finally, she felt Shepard's mind ease, her body loosen. Shepard stopped sobbing and she took in a jagged breath. Soon, Liara could feel Shepard drift off to sleep and giving into her own exhaustion; she broke the bond and followed her there.

When Liara woke up a few hours later, she ordered some tea and began formulating a plan. She knew that Shepard's problem was not the decision that she had made but rather how she now thought about that decision. It was like an endless loop of guilt and other negative emotions that played over and over regardless of how illogical it was. The loop needed to be stopped and it could only be stopped with reason and logic. Liara knew all of Shepard's arguments that she had battered herself with and Liara knew that she would have to come up with an unassailable counter to all of them. But before she could do that, she would need to examine and straighten out her own emotions.

Her emotions were just as jumbled as Shepard's had been. The overwhelming feeling initially was one of amazement and disbelief. Shepard had held the fate of every sentient being in the palm of her hand. She had saved them all. But she wasn't able to save everyone. It was so unfair that Shepard had been put in that position in the first place. Liara's second feeling was one of rage and hatred. How dare these Leviathan, in their hubris and arrogance, unleash this recurring nightmare on the galaxy. How dare that stupid machine that they created believe that it had the answer when Liara didn't even think that it had the right question. If the philosophy and religion of her people was correct, the natural rise and extinction of individuals and species was not chaos. It was not even a problem. It was the natural order of the universe that would eventually lead to peace, enlightenment and harmony for all souls, everywhere.

The Leviathan obviously didn't believe that. It wasn't how they wanted the universe to work because they themselves were ruthless, evil dictators. So they took it upon themselves to create a machine that in turn, created more machines to try to bend the universe to its will. Those machines caused more terror, pain, suffering and death than any of the 'chaos' that preceded them.

Hours later, Liara could see Shepard stirring on the bed. Liara went over to her and sat down beside her. Liara leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

"You're still here?"

"Of course, I'm still here. Where else would I be except here by your side?"

"I appreciate that but you don't have to force yourself. I realize how you must feel about me."

"You mean, overwhelming love? Yes, that is how I feel about you."

"You don't have to pretend that you don't see me as a monster now."

"Part of me wishes you were more of a callous monster. Then I wouldn't have to see you in this much pain."

"I killed Edi. I killed a whole race of people."

Liara took in a deep breath. Round one begins and the battle is joined.

"You didn't kill anyone. You were presented with a choice and you made the decision that would _save_ the most lives. You did not set up the paradigm that created the decision. You did not set up the false dichotomy between organics and synthetics. The Leviathan did that by creating that 'intelligence' and their logic was flawed from the very beginning."

Another hour later, Shepard and Liara were still talking about what happened, debating with each other, with Shepard still taking the position that she was a monster for doing what she did.

"Maybe only time can tell if it was the right thing to do or not. On a timescale much larger than we mere mortals can even comprehend. Maybe organics will finally get their shit together and stop fighting each other. It's inevitable that synthetics will eventually gain self-awareness but maybe there is some way for us to live together. Beyond whether it was the right decision, there's the issue of why I did it." Shepard said the words without looking at Liara.

"I know about that too. And a big part of your motivation was what motivates any of us to do anything. You did it to save me and your friends and your people and then the other people that you've met. That's just how all individuals operate. And I think any genuine synthetic individual would operate the same way. Weren't the geth willing to sacrifice the quarians to save themselves? You're not a monster because you care about people and naturally want those people who you care about to survive. You'd be a monster if you didn't."

"You can't have it both ways, Liara. You can't say on the one hand, that it was the right decision because it saved the most people and that's the most important thing and then say on the other hand, that it wasn't bad that I considered which people would be saved."

"Let me ask you this, Shepard. I think I already know the answer but let me ask you anyway. If it wasn't the geth who would be destroyed by the Crucible but somehow, all of humanity instead that would be destroyed, would you still have made the same decision?"

"Yes. There is no way I could have sacrificed everyone else just to save my own race. That's not the problem. That's not where the guilt comes from." Shepard put her head in her hands again, the tears forming in her eyes once again. "The guilt comes from the fact that if I had decided to end the human race to save the others and I woke up in that rubble, I would have put a bullet in my head right then and there. I wouldn't have even tried to survive. I know that's selfish of me in way too because of the pain it would have caused you."

"Understandable. But you realize that that is irrational. Objectively, there is no difference between the two. But we are emotional beings. We experience the world subjectively. All individuals do. You feel guilty because you are a human who cares more about humans than you did the geth. Despite that, you would have been willing to sacrifice your people for the good of the many. And I know from your memories that you thought you were going to die in the explosion and you made the decision anyway. What is more unselfish than that? To willingly sacrifice yourself for the many. I think your decision was the correct one but that's almost irrelevant because there is nothing that can be done about it now anyway. The only question is, can you get past this guilt and find a way to be happy? For yourself and for me and for our daughter."

Shepard looked up and into Liara's eyes, a humorless smile on her face. Shepard took Liara's hand.

"I thought I could just put all this behind me. I thought that we had already been through the worst of it and now we could just be happy and ride off into the sunset together. I know how naive that must sound."

"I want that too, my love. I want that more than anything. And I have to believe that we can still have it. We're just going to have to work for it."

"I'm going to try, Liara. If you'll still have me. If you'll be patient with me, I'll try as hard as I can."

Now, Liara got tears in her eyes and looked down, shamed by her own actions. "I'm sorry that I lost my patience before, Shepard. I just felt so helpless. I felt like I was losing you and there was nothing I could do about it. I felt like you didn't trust me anymore. I was afraid that you really didn't respect me enough to share your burden with me. Can you forgive me?"

Shepard snorted. "Can I forgive you? There is nothing to forgive. I should have been honest with you from the beginning but I was afraid that you'd hate me. I have this neurotic fear of abandonment from my childhood but you deserved the truth. But if you stick with me, I promise, no more secrets. No more lies."

"We are going to have to discuss your lack of faith in me. I have always stood by you no matter what and you didn't have enough faith in me to just tell me what happened. That hurt." Liara smiled warily and tangled her fingers with Shepard's. "But I understand why you hid it from me. I saw John and Hannah in your memories. But that is a discussion for another day. We'll figure out how to get through this together. I love you, Shepard."

"I love you too, Liara. Before you came back, I had intended to take this secret to my grave with me. I think when you came back, my mind just couldn't deal with carrying the secret alone any longer."

"We will have to discuss something else at some point. I know that you had to do what you had to do. I realize that you were willing to sacrifice your own life for the many just like I was willing to risk my life to help defeat the reapers. But not anymore. Not again. You are not allowed to put anyone ahead of yourself again. You are not allowed to put the galaxy before me and your daughter again."

"I already made that deal with you when I asked you to marry me and I meant it. And I know why you are saying this now." Shepard smiled. "The meld works both ways. I know that you felt a little abandoned as a child as well."

"Obviously, I had a completely different childhood than yours. I had everything I ever needed and much of what I wanted but I often felt like I was never my mother's first priority. She was a wonderful woman but I often felt like she was duty first with her only child a distant second." Liara sighed and shook her head. "So, of course, I fall in love with a person who always put her duty first to such an extreme that she was willing to blow herself up in order to complete her mission."

"Yes but those were extraordinary circumstances. Chances are good that the galaxy will not face another threat that will destroy every advanced sentient life again in my life time." Shepard paused and looked up. "You hear that, Goddess or God or whoever else might be in charge of such things, not again!"

Shepard put her head in her hands. "I can't do this anymore. My head is spinning. I just feel exhausted and I need some air. Can we maybe go take a walk? Get some dinner and talk about something else? Not that that will be easy."

Liara leaned over and kissed Shepard's lips. "I'll get my jacket. And maybe you can put on some real clothes and some shoes? Instead of just running around in your underwear as my father calls it?"

Despite her mental exhaustion, Shepard chuckled. "I don't know. I think I'm developing a signature style. Oh, there's that crazy human running through the streets in the middle of the night in her underwear again. I bet I could market it. Come out with my own clothing line."

After a dinner and a long walk during which they both remained mostly silent or talked about trivial things, they came back to the hotel. It was Liara who made the first move. As soon as they were back in the room, Liara's fingers were undoing the buttons on Shepard's shirt.

"You know, as my bondmate, you have certain duties that you are obligated to perform and you've been a little lapse in those duties as of late."

Liara leaned forward and kissed the soft skin of Shepard's chest as it was uncovered. The feel of Liara's soft, warm lips on her skin felt wonderful to Shepard. She put her hands on Liara's hips and pulled her closer.

"Are you sure you want to go back into that nightmare that is my mind? It's a terrifying place, I know."

Liara looked into her eyes as she moved her hands over Shepard's shoulders and down her arms until the shirt fell off.

"Not true. You and your mind are beautiful. You just have both been forced to see and do too much. It is still one of the most wonderful places I have ever been. Full of love and joy and wonder and kindness."

During their meld, Liara was pleased to see and feel that the blackness was less. It was still there, of course, but it was smaller and there were no longer any walls or barriers between them. Their minds entwined so completely and deeply that there was no longer any separation between them and they became one. For a moment that seemed to last an eternity, the barriers of time and space disappeared and they were seemingly weaving in and out of other dimensions, other times, other places. It was no surprise to either of them when a couple weeks later, it was confirmed that Liara was pregnant with their second daughter.

The next morning, after what was the best night's sleep that she had had in months, Shepard went down and personally thanked Alyona for her hospitality and kindness. She then paid her bill and secretly got the name of Alyona's boss so that she could write a glowing letter of recommendation to her from the galaxy-famous Admiral Shepard. Shepard wouldn't be satisfied until Alyona got a raise. She then went back up to their room, carrying a late breakfast for her and Liara.

Once they arrived back home, Aethyta was there with Benezia. Benezia squealed when she saw her mommy and daddy again. Shepard gave her some extra kisses for each of the days that she had been away. Shepard smiled at Aethyta.

"Thank you for looking after her for us. I'm sorry that you had to."

"Not a problem. I'm here any time."

Shepard hesitated. "I've just been having some bad memories from the war."

Aethyta held up her hand. "Say no more. Every marriage has its secrets. You don't need to tell me anything. I'm not nosey."

Since when? Shepard thought. Shepard could tell that Aethyta was dying to know what was going on but at least she had been polite enough to lie about it. Shepard sighed and made a decision.

"Let's go sit down at the kitchen table and I'll try to explain what happened."

Liara took Benezia from Shepard's arms, a concerned look on her face.

"Are you sure, Shepard? Are you sure you're ready for that?"

"She deserves to know and it might be good to talk about it with another person. You have to swear that you won't tell anyone what I am about to tell you, Aethyta."

"I can keep a secret, Shepard. I've kept secrets for centuries before. I swear I won't tell anyone."

A person doesn't make it to a thousand years of age without developing a poker face and being able to control their emotions but Aethyta had to admit that when she heard the story that Shepard told her, it was a struggle to keep her face expressionless. She knew that her daughter-in-law was an extraordinary human and she knew that she had been the one to fire the Crucible that had ended the reapers. What she did not know and never would have guessed, is that her daughter-in-law had had the fate of every asari, every human, every krogan, every advanced sentient being in her hands.

Aethyta remembered listening to Shepard back on Illium when she was pining away for Liara to that turian friend of hers. She remembered how she came back and got shitfaced when Liara had rejected her. This extraordinary but still very fallible and emotional being had been the one who had to make a decision that affected every life in the known galaxy when she was alone, exhausted and wounded. As Shepard finished the story, she looked down at her hands, obviously waiting for some reaction from her.

For one of the few times in her life, Aethyta was speechless and had no idea what to say.

"Fuck, Shepard. That's the craziest shit I've ever heard in my life. I need a drink. You want one?"

"No…thanks. That's all you have to say?"

Aethyta got up and headed for the bar in the dining room. She poured herself an extra-large shot of whiskey and returned to the kitchen table. Shepard had her head in her hands and Liara had returned from putting Benezia down for her nap and was running her hand over Shepard's arm.

"I don't think I really need to say this but of course, you made the right decision. You had no choice. You did what you had to do to kill those fuckers. That was the only way to save all our asses!"

"I'm not so sure. What if the Intelligence was right and I should have chosen synthesis?"

"Yeah, listen to the Whateverthefuckitwas that was responsible for torturing, mutilating and killing trillions and trillions of innocent souls for millions of years. You had no more right to do that than that stupid Whateverthefuckitwas had the right to do it! No one, no thing, no fucking 'Apex' giant fucking space lobsters have the right to determine the direction that life takes!"

"I killed the geth." Shepard said quietly.

"You killed the reapers! You were a soldier and you used a weapon to destroy the enemy. The only weapon that could have killed the reapers. It's not your fault that there was collateral damage. You had only one real choice. Either you killed the enemy using the only weapon at your disposal or you let us all die. Surely, you told the Knucklehead the same thing, Liara?"

Liara couldn't help but smile.

"Basically the same thing though not in quite such colorful terms."

At that Aethyta did something that struck both Shepard and Liara speechless. She knocked back her drink, got up and with tears in her eyes, she hugged Shepard.

"I know that you are probably torturing yourself over this because you couldn't save everyone and you're dumb so you always think that you can save everyone but I love you and I couldn't be more proud of you, Daughter."

Aethyta then seemed to get control of her senses again. She mumbled something about how tired she was because Benezia kept her up half the damn night and then she quickly left the apartment. Liara and Shepard looked at each other, dumbfounded.

"Was she crying? I didn't even know she could do that."

"Apparently she can. And she told you that she loved you. She's never even said that to me and I really am her daughter!"

"Now I really am afraid. She must really feel sorry for me to say that! Did a Doctor call and say that I was going to die? Maybe I really have gone crazy."


	51. Chapter 51

Liara was lying awake staring at the ceiling. Shepard was sleeping beside her, seemingly sleeping soundly and without upset._ Lucky her_, Liara thought. There was something that had been on her mind ever since Shepard had shared what had happened on the Citadel with her. It wasn't a big thing, especially in light of everything that had been revealed to Shepard that day, but it was not trivial either. Ever since Shepard was an eight year old child, there was some part of her that had wondered why her foster parents had not come back for her. This abandonment had shaped her as much as any other occurrence in her young life.

Liara rolled over on her side to look at Shepard. She gently touched Shepard's forehead with her fingertips. Liara initiated a shallow meld and found a Shepard who was a slightly confused and amused but as expected, there was no torment. Shepard's unconscious mind felt Liara's presence and she 'heard' dream Shepard say, _Oh, you're here too, Liara? I think we are walking inside a bell pepper. _Liara smiled and sent a wave of love into Shepard's mind before gently withdrawing from her. Shepard had long ago given her permission to meld with her any time with the caveat that she not be held responsible for what her unconscious mind did.

'Now Liara. Sooner or later, if you go in there when I'm asleep, you are going to find me having sex with someone or something that isn't you and I won't get in trouble for it!'

Liara smiled at the memory of what Shepard said. The meld confirmed that Shepard's nightmares seemed to be getting less since she had revealed her secret to Liara. Maybe it would be best if Liara just let this mystery go without trying to solve it. Her curiosity nagged at her relentlessly but maybe this was one of those times when her curiosity could actually hurt her beloved. If she found out what happened to Shepard's foster parents, she would have to tell Shepard what she found but that could end up hurting her more then not knowing. She could try to hide it but sooner or later, Shepard would find out that she was hiding something from her and then she would be forced to either tell Shepard or it would become a wedge between them. As Shepard once said, marriage with an asari was a radical form of marriage that, because of the meld, demanded almost complete honesty or it was doomed.

If young Shepard's memories were correct, her foster parents had been nice to her and they were good people. Why would they lie to her about coming back? Why would they leave in the first place? If Shepard's memories were incorrect, how could anyone be so cruel to a small child? Liara already knew the answer to that. If the last six years of her life had taught her anything, it was that some people were unimaginably cruel. But what if they had not abandoned her? What if they were somehow physically prevented from returning? Wouldn't knowing that be a relief to the small child inside of Shepard who still thought that she had been abandoned because she was bad?

Liara got up quietly and walked down the hall to the room she was using as an office. She activated her terminal. After the War, she lost her operatives and the data feeds that she had as the Shadow Broker but she still had massive amounts of confidential information that had been collected. More importantly, she still had programs and bots that were very good at locating and collecting information even from secure sources. These programs were still very much illegal in Council space. Liara hesitated again but then finally decided that the truth was worth knowing even if could cause pain. Liara spoke to her computer. The mobile platform that had housed 'Glyph' somehow became damaged when the Crucible was fired but the program with all its memory and 'personality' still existed in Liara's databanks.

"Glyph?"

"Yes, Doctor T'Soni? How may I help you?"

"I would like to locate two humans who were on Earth in the year 2162 in the United North American States city of New York City. They served as foster parents there to Admiral Shepard from approximately 2160 to 2162. Their names are John and Hannah Kincaid. Do you think we can locate where they are now or if they are no longer alive, what happened to them?"

"I will try my best to locate them, Doctor. Should I use standard methods or enhanced methods?"

"Use all the methods at your disposal. I imagine the Alliance and the Council have already run searches for these people as part of Shepard's background check and as far as I know, they were never located."

"Right away, Doctor. I will inform you as soon as I find anything."

"Good. I would suggest searching first in any records available from orphanages operating in New York City during 2162. If you cannot find any leads there, please search the records of all Earth mining corporations, active or now defunct, that operated outside of the Sol System during the same year."

"As you are aware, Doctor, corporate databases are among the most secure of any in the galaxy. It will take significant time to break through the necessary firewalls and ascertain the necessary passcodes."

"That's alright, Glyph. Speed is not essential. I would rather the search be thorough than quick."

"Understood Doctor. Shall I play some of your favorite operas while we wait?"

Liara smiled. "That won't be necessary, Glyph. I don't intend to wait for the result. You can go back into sleep mode once all the necessary protocols have been started. Good night, Glyph."

"Good night, Doctor T'Soni."

Liara returned to their bedroom hoping that her curious mind would quiet enough so that she could fall back asleep. When she got back into bed, Shepard mumbled something unintelligible, rolled over on her side and threw her arm around Liara as she settled back in. Liara moved onto her side, pulled Shepard's arm tighter around her and moved her back against Shepard. Liara could only hope that she hadn't started something that would hurt the beautiful woman now sleeping so soundly behind her.

A few weeks later, Shepard was on the couch watching a vid when Liara came back into the living room after putting Benezia to bed. She plopped down on the couch and snuggled into Shepard's side.

"Bene settled in?" Shepard asked while putting her arm around Liara's waist and pulling her back against her side.

"I'm trying to gently get Benezia to understand that she will soon have a sister. I'm not sure how much she understands but I get the sense that she's not thrilled with the idea." Liara smiled.

"Oh boy. I never even thought about the sibling rivalry thing. I'll talk to her. See if I can get her excited about it."

"I'm sure she'll warm to the idea…eventually."

Shepard straightened up and cleared her throat.

"I've been meaning to speak to you about something, Liara. I've been thinking…"

"Oh dear. Never a good idea."

"This is serious."

"Oh no. Now I'm really afraid." Liara turned her head and saw the look in Shepard's face. "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm listening."

"I'm glad that I told you about what happened up on the Citadel but I don't think it's a good idea for us to talk about it so much anymore." Shepard held up her hand when Liara started to protest. "I want you to be my bondmate and my partner and my best friend. I don't want you to be my therapist. And now that you're pregnant, I don't want any more stress hormones than normal coursing through your body."

"I'm pregnant. I haven't suddenly become incapable of dealing with life. Asari have been getting pregnant for a long time now."

"I know that. What I was going to say, before you interrupted, is that I think it would be a good idea if I talked to someone about it. A professional."

Liara's eyes grew wide and she spun around to look at Shepard.

"Really?! You'd do that for us?"

"I have no idea how to even find a suitable therapist but I think I need to do it."

"Don't you worry about that. I'll find someone. Someone who we can both trust."

Liara popped up on her knees and then flung her arms around Shepard's neck.

"Thank you, my love. I know how difficult this must be for you."

"I think it has to be done. And I'm not the only one who has nightmares. Are you sure you don't want to find a therapist for yourself?"

Liara sat back down and leaned into Shepard again.

"I know. But I think they're getting better. It was hard at first being back on Thessia but I think it's finally sinking in that Thessia is still here. The asari are still here. You are still here. I think it helps to be able to do something that helps restore what was lost."

"I still have that one about the fall too."

"Most of my nightmares are about you dying. And then sometimes, I have the one about my mother. You know, just for a little variety."

Shepard wrapped her arms around Liara tighter and Liara crawled up into Shepard's lap.

"I have those dreams too. Where you are wounded and there is nothing I can do to help you or the one where the banshee is right on top of you and I just can't get to you in time no matter how hard I try."

Liara couldn't help but laugh a little. "We are quite the pair, aren't we?"

"That we are. 'Bowed but not broken.'"

Liara smiled. "I like to think that we are 'bloodied, but unbowed' instead."

Shepard smiled in return. "You're right. I like that one better."

The two women sat in silence for a while, each lost in her own thoughts. Liara kept fidgeting in Shepard's lap. Shepard could tell that she had something on her mind.

"Ok, it's obvious you have something to talk about."

Liara shook her head. "It's nothing."

"Spill it, T'Soni."

"I'm sorry but I don't know what that means. What would you like me to spill?"

"Liara…"

Liara got off Shepard's lap and sat beside her with her body turned towards Shepard.

"Ok. I ran across some information that I think it would be beneficial for you to know but I'm afraid it might make you feel sad. But then again, it might make some part of you feel glad. I just hope you don't get too mad when I tell you."

Shepard smiled. "So, it is information that will make me feel sad and glad and mad? I can hardly wait."

"So, after you told me about John and Hannah, I became curious…"

Liara watched as Shepard tensed up.

"Go on."

"Oh Shepard, they were good people! They had already signed papers showing their intent to adopt you but as you said, they were young and they were poor. In the year 2153, the Beldine Corporation foolishly began a mining colony on Camala in the Verge. The only problem was that a Batarian corporation had already established a mining colony there. As you are aware, the Verge was a lawless place even when you were an adult. In 2153, it really was a lawless frontier with different species and corporate interests rushing in trying to establish claims in the area. I'm sure the people that they got to agree to work on this colony were aware of the risks but this was before the Blitz so I'm not sure that they knew quite how dangerous it really was. To get people to agree to work there, they offered very lucrative, short-term contracts."

"And my foster parents accepted one of these contracts?"

"Yes, they agreed to a seven month contract that would have paid them 250,000 credits, far more than they could have made on Earth even in a few years."

Shepard felt a lump develop in her throat.

"I imagine that the batarians did not take too kindly to someone establishing a mining colony there?"

Liara sighed and took Shepard's hand.

"No. In 2162, two months after your foster parents arrived on Camala, there was a pirate raid on the Beldine Corporation settlement. Officially, there was no involvement from the Batarian government or any Batarian corporations. Unofficially, it is thought that it was approved by the Hegemony and bankrolled by the powerful Batarian corporate interests already present on Camala. Are you alright?"

Shepard had closed her eyes and laid her head back on the couch.

"Were they captured? Made into slaves?"

"No. Records list them as causalities of the initial battle. If what happened there can even be considered a battle. It was more like a slaughter."

"That's a blessing anyway."

Shepard put her arm around Liara and pulled her close again. Despite herself, Shepard felt her eyes start to water.

"Fucking batarians. They didn't deserve that. They didn't deserve to die alone and afraid on a foreign world far from home like that."

"No one does. I know that it's small consolation but all indications are that they intended to make the money and return home to adopt you. They even had the return ticket already purchased. They did not intentionally abandon you."

"That doesn't make he feel any better right now. You know, I've tried hard to understand every different species that I've met. To understand the culture and the mindset. But the batarians…how can a people who are advanced enough to have spaceflight still have legal slavery? Even among their own people. Humans are horrible creatures. Human history is full of stories of the vile things that humans have done to each other and to other species but we are better now than we have ever been and there is a sense of progress being made. But the batarians…it's like they don't even see what they do as bad. "

"I know. The asari tried for centuries to understand them and help bring them into the galactic community but the feeling was that there was just not enough common ground to form the basis of any kind of lasting cooperation. And even as I say that I feel like a hypocrite. We all know how the asari have tried our best to keep ourselves on top even if it meant lying to and stealing from the other races."

"True but at least the asari have the sense to know that some of the underhanded things that they have done are wrong. Despite the propaganda, the batarians don't even seem too intent on hiding the horrible things that they do. Can you even imagine the asari having a policy of killing and enslaving little children?"

"No. With few exceptions from our most depraved individuals, that is not something that any asari would do or tolerate others to do. But maybe we just don't know enough about them to see the context. If Javik is right, the protheans had a similar philosophy."

"I don't know if I believe that. Violence and war only gets you so far. After you conquer a people, you can only keep them as part of your empire if there is cooperation, a give and take between the conqueror and the conquered. Otherwise, the Empire inevitably splinters. Despite everything that was revealed to us about the protheans during the War, I think the whole, real truth about them remains undiscovered and Javik can't help us with that. He was born and raised as a soldier during the last desperate decades of a brutal century-long genocide. Not exactly an objective voice able to see the big picture."

Liara chuckled. "You've obviously given that some thought. I had no idea that you had even the vaguest interest in what prothean culture was really like."

"Well, I had a girlfriend once who was obsessed with them. It must have rubbed off on me a little bit."

"She better keep her distance or she will have an angry bondmate to deal with. As far as the batarian problem is concerned, I fear that they might never be a problem again. If the rumors are correct, they might be extinct very soon."

Liara noticed the look of quilt that ran over Shepard's face.

"Don't you even dare take that one on yourself! After the War, they could have continued to cooperate with the other races. They could have asked for aid. Instead they ran back to their homeworld and cut off all communications again. If they do go extinct, it's their own damn fault."

"We owe them a debt, Liara, even if we don't want to admit it. If they hadn't delayed the reapers as long as they did, it very well could be all of us going extinct right now."

"Well, it's not like they volunteered to be the first the reapers hit. And if they hadn't already been devastated by the reapers, I doubt any of them would have helped with the War effort at all. It was just pure hatred and the need for vengeance driving them at that point. Once they had their revenge, they reverted to type."

"I just can't stand the idea that the reapers managed to do away with any of the races of this cycle. I did wipe out 300,000 of them even before the reapers hit."

"Which has absolutely zero effect in whether they go extinct or not. Since the War, all the other races, even the more isolationist ones like the hanar and the quarians have embraced a greater spirit of cooperation and open trade to the benefit of all. The batarians had that option as well and they chose to embrace xenophobia instead."

"Maybe. I can't help but think what my life would have been like if the batarians hadn't attacked that settlement all those years ago. What if my foster parents had lived and come back for me? Would I have even joined the Alliance? Maybe I would have been a history teacher or a skycar racer when the reapers hit."

Liara chuckled again. "Believe it or not, I can see you as the history teacher more than I can see you as the skycar racer. Despite your addiction to adrenaline, or maybe because of it, I think any career as skycar driver of any sort would have been very short lived. I just thought of something. I was 85 years old when your foster parents left. A very young asari but still an adult. If I had known you were all alone at such a young age, I could have come and taken care of you."

Shepard laughed and covered her face with her unoccupied hand.

"I forget what an old lady you are sometimes. Seeing how I feel about you…" Shepard ran her hand over Liara's breast, "I think that would have been a very bad idea. I think we would have had a very different relationship and I would have been one very confused adolescent. Besides, I really was kind of a brat."

"So? You're kind of a brat now. I know how to handle you."

"Oh really? Speaking of brats, exactly how did you just happen to 'run across' all this information about my foster parents? Even after both the Alliance and the Council failed to find anything about them?"

Instead of answering, Liara yawned. "I'm really kind of tired. Maybe we can talk more later?"

"Nice try, Shadow Broker."


	52. Chapter 52

Shepard rubbed her forehead as the program ran again, waiting for the results. When the spyware detection program that Tali had given her finished, the results from the first test were confirmed. The other computers in the house showed similar results. Someone had placed a Spybot on her computer. Shepard stood up and paced in her office. Who would do this to her and her family? And how did they manage to get it on their computers in the first place? They had been on Thessia for six months and had been assured that the extranet on Thessia was the safest and most secure in the galaxy as their democracies depended on it.

The thought crossed Shepard's mind that perhaps it had been installed on their hardware when the systems were installed. It would have been difficult for such a complicated program to be installed remotely. At the moment, Shepard was less concerned with how than with whom. Someone was spying on her and her bondmate and when she found out who it was, she would respond in kind. Shepard rang Tali. Despite the fact that she was systems away on Palaven, Tali shimmered into view almost immediately on Shepard's omnitool. One of the good things to come out of the war was that quantum entanglement communication had become widespread and was almost instantaneous even between planets thousands of light years apart.

Tali saw Shepard's face and she immediately became concerned.

"What's wrong, Shepard?"

Shepard tried her best fake smile and tried to keep her voice light. If they were tapping her computer, there was no telling what other devices that had in her house watching and listening to her at that very moment.

"Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to say hi. I am going to be on the Citadel next week, following up on some lost paperwork for the Alliance and I was hoping you would join me for lunch."

"You want me to travel all the way to the Citadel for lunch?" Tali sounded concerned. "Are you sure nothing's wrong?"

"Everything is just peachy. I just miss you. It will be my treat."

Tali could tell by the look on Shepard's face that she dare not refuse. There was something wrong and Shepard needed her help. She wondered if it were something dangerous and if Garrus should be involved.

"Should I bring Garrus?"

"Only if you both want to get away from Palaven for a bit. I really just need to see you but Garrus can tag along if he wants."

"Okay, Shepard. Next Tuesday at 11 GST? I'll meet you on the Commons."

"Thanks Tali. I'll see you then."

A couple days after Shepard met Tali on the Citadel, Shepard used the device that Tali had given her to ensure that there were no cameras or listening devices in her home. She swept the whole house and it came up negative. She then sent Tali to work on a little project. Shepard had decided to hold off on telling Liara until she knew exactly who their nosy foe was. Finally, Tali contacted her on her omnitool with the results. Shepard went into her office and shut the door. Now that she knew that only their computers were hacked, she felt secure speaking to Tali freely over their secure omnitool connection.

"Hey Tali. What did you find out? Did you find out where the bot is sending its information?"

"Yes, I did and I'm afraid you aren't going to like it at all."

"Tell me, Tali."

"The information is being fed into a secure server on Thessia." Tali paused. "It is going to High Command headquarters in Armali."

Shepard face twisted in anger and she started pacing.

"Goddamn matriarchs! Who the fuck do they thing they are? They have no right to spy on me and Liara."

"What are you going to do? Have you told Liara yet?"

"No. But now that I know who it is, I will. I'm sure she will be just as livid as I am. Let me think up a plan. Can I count on your help if I need it?"

"Absolutely! Just tell Liara. I don't feel comfortable keeping this from her."

"Will do. And thank you, Tali. I really appreciate it."

After dinner that night and after Benezia had been put to bed, Shepard sat down with Liara in the living room to break the news.

"Tali and I did some digging and I'm afraid I have some very disturbing news for you."

Liara put down her datapad and looked at Shepard with concern in her eyes.

"What's wrong?!"

"Well, I used one of Tali's programs and I found out that our computers are being bugged!"

"Do you know who did it? Are we in any danger?"

"Remember when I went to the Citadel last week? Well, I went there to meet Tali. She did some digging and the information from the Bot is going to High Command in Armali! Can you believe that? The fucking matriarchs are bugging our computers."

Liara sighed but she seemed to relax. She shook her head and smiled.

"You would think that the last person that they would monitor is the person who saved the entire galaxy."

"Liara! Did you hear what I said? They are bugging our computers! Every search we do, every message we send, every message we receive. Your own government is spying on you and your bondmate!"

"I heard you, Shepard. It makes a certain kind of sense, really. The matriarchs are just being overly cautious. You have a lot of friends and influence. They are just making sure that you aren't a threat."

Shepard bolted up from the couch, shocked.

"You're defending them?! After they bugged your own computer? How can you not be furious about this?"

"Because I know that there's nothing to worry about. After a year or so when no threat materializes, they'll get bored and shut it down. They don't mean us any harm. They are just being extra cautious."

Shepard was stunned. She had assumed that Liara would be as upset as she had been. Instead, she seemed to be taking it in stride like it was just another part of life on Thessia. Shepard knew that, in general, the asari were less individualistic and more communal than humans. They were more likely to tolerate certain limitations to their personal freedoms if it meant a safer planet overall but Shepard could not comprehend how anyone would not be upset upon learning that their own government was spying on them. Shepard knew that such government spying probably happened all the time on Earth but few humans would knowingly tolerate it.

"It's intolerable, Liara! I won't stand for it!"

"What can you do, Shepard? It's not like they have cameras or listening devices in our home." Liara chuckled a little. "They are just monitoring our computers to make sure that you aren't here to take over the planet or something."

"How can you possibly joke about something like this? I'm going to fix this Liara. No one spies on me and my family. No one. I don't care what their intentions are and I don't care who it is."

Liara sighed. "Please don't do anything to antagonize the matriarchs, Shepard. Think about it. There have not been any wars on Thessia for thousands upon thousands of years. Why? Because those in charge always think ahead. They use their intelligence to discern any threats, gather information and then head off any trouble before it starts...

"You mean, they are sneaky bitches who get into everyone's business and then quietly assassinate anyone who might be any trouble? I believe in open and transparent government, Liara. Power corrupts and these matriarchs have too much power. Too much secret power behind closed doors so no one can monitor what they are doing! And you're forgetting about The War. The War that was almost lost because your government wanted to keep secrets. "

Liara rolled her eyes. "We have the largest, most direct democracies in the galaxy, Shepard. Unlike your planet where corrupt politicians are a dime a dozen and they are the ones who have all the real power. Here, the people have the power. The matriarchs can only hope to influence the direction that the cities and states go in by their words. If one matriarch gets out of line, the other matriarchs are not too shy about correcting her in public."

"Or spy and assassinate or intimidate or make back room deals." Shepard shook her head. "I guess I should have expected this from the former Shadow Broker!"

"Thanks a lot, Shepard. That's really sweet of you to say." Liara got up and left the room angry. Shepard started pacing and thinking. If whichever matriarch made the decision to spy on her thought she would get away with it, she was sadly mistaken. Shepard had always preferred an open, straight up fight but she could scheme when she needed to as well. Shepard smiled as she called Tali again.

Terentia poured over every message that came into and out of the Shepard household regardless of how boring they were. The matriarchs had trusted her with this very important assignment because she had proven herself during the War. When she first began her position right after the War, she had felt a little guilty spying on her fellow Thessians but once her group had discovered a few desperate traitors, she no longer questioned the necessity of her job. She had been surprised when it became clear that it was the T'Soni-Shepard household that was one of her targets but she had learned that there was always a reason behind the decisions of the matriarchs at High Command.

She was just about to go get a cup of tea when something caught her eye. It was a cryptic message from one of those krogan leaders to Shepard. No matter what the Great Commander Shepard said, Terentia thought that the krogan were not to be trusted. She remembered the stories that her mother had told her about how desperate the Krogan Rebellion got. She thought that Shepard had acted out of naiveté in curing the genophage but there was always the possibility that her motivation was more malevolent. She opened the attachment to the email. It was another cryptic message as well as a link to another extranet site. She clicked on the link, confident that their firewalls would be able to stop any attack that any krogan could design.

Suddenly, her computer went haywire. Her keyboard froze and her terminal ignored her commands. Dance music started blaring out of her speakers while her screen flashed dozens of photos of krogan babies, most of them in the nude. After the photo montage, the screen then showed a multi-colored peace sign. On the top of the screen, the old asari phrase 'Be forthright and honest in all your dealings' flashed. On the bottom flashed another phrase that Terentia had never heard before: 'Make love and not war, my asari sisters!'

Terentia heard yelling from other areas of the room. And then she heard the panic in the hall as the virus spread to other areas in the High Command building. Technicians were desperately trying to stop the spread of the virus before it hit critical defense computers. The panic rose as the technicians tried to determine exactly what kind of damage it was creating beyond the visual and audio display. The technicians couldn't find anything. It did not appear to be doing any damage to underlying programs and before it got to higher-level, essential systems, it just stopped.

Terentia cringed as Matriarch Ravana flew into the room.

"In the name of the Goddess, what just happened?"

"I was just following up on a possible threat from one of the households that we are monitoring when our system went crazy. I think we picked up a virus, ma'am."

The Matriarch rolled her eyes. "No, really? You think so?"

The matriarch peered at the screen. The program just kept playing over and over again.

"Get these ridiculous images off here. What household were you monitoring when it happened?"

"The T'Soni-Shepard household, ma'am."

Liara was busy examining artifacts that were believed to come from thousands of years BCE. The trick was trying to find out what they were, where they come from and exactly when they had originated. Her boss, Matriarch Febe, suddenly pinged her omnitool asking Liara to come to her office. When she arrived at the office, Liara was surprised to see another matriarch in the room.

Her boss spoke first, "Liara, this is Matriarch Ravana with High Command."

Liara looked at the matriarch in surprise before bowing slightly.

"It is good to meet you, Matriarch. How may I help you?"

The Matriarch smiled and gave a slight bow in return. "Please sit down, Maiden T'Soni. I have some questions that I would like to ask you, if you don't mind." The Matriarch then turned her head towards Febe. "Forgive me, Matriarch Febe, but might Liara and I borrow your office for a moment?"

Febe looked at Liara who smiled at her and nodded before saying, "Of course, take as much time as you need. I will be in the labs if I am needed."

Once the other matriarch left the room, the smile fell from Ravana's face.

"I'm afraid that the computers of the Armali government have been subject to a vicious attack. Let me show you something."

The matriarch turned the monitor on the desk so that Liara could see it. She then played the whole 'attack' back to Liara while watching Liara closely. Liara only looked confused.

"I'm afraid that I don't understand. What is this?"

"This is the malware that was placed on all government computers by someone in your household. Don't pretend that it doesn't look familiar."

"What? I've never seen this before in my entire life!"

"Well then. Maybe it was that human who you are living with."

Liara looked at the program as it played and recognized some of Wrex's children. Then the peace sign came up with the slogans. _Yup. That's Shepard. She would have thought that was hilarious. _

"That human is my bondmate and her name is Admiral Katherine Shepard. You owe your continued existence to her so I suggest you show her the respect that she deserves instead of throwing around baseless accusations. Tell me, Matriarch, what makes you think that it came from either one of us?"

"We know it came from your household."

"Because you are engaging in illegal monitoring of our computer systems, perhaps?"

"High Command has wide latitude to monitor citizens as deemed necessary. There is nothing illegal about it."

"And what did this 'vicious attack' do to government computers? Was there any damage? Did it in any way threaten our defenses?"

Ravana paused for a moment. "Just by playing on crucial government computers, it was a threat to our defenses."

"It seems to me that whoever put this on government computers was trying to send a message of peace, not a declaration of war. And it never would have ended up on any computer if people were not snooping where they were not supposed to be."

"We are supposed to be wherever we deem necessary to protect Thessia. We could have your bondmate arrested."

Liara's expression became cold and her voice became icy.

"Yes. I believe you were with High Command during the Fall as well. Wonderful job you did protecting Thessia then as now."

Liara watched as a look of offended rage rose on the Matriarch's face. She decided to press her attack.

"Tell me Matriarch Ravana, during the War, did High Command catch any rumors that I might have been the Shadow Broker?" Liara stood up and looked Ravana straight in the eye. "Well, those rumors were absolutely true. There is no longer any Shadow Broker but the former Shadow Broker still has zettabytes of information about galactic governments and leaders. I'm sure there is information about all the matriarchs in High Command. Information that would be damaging to High Command as a whole and to the individuals involved as well if it ever got released. And it will be released if you come anywhere near my bondmate or my family again. I would suggest you do your job and try to find the real possible threats to Thessia and leave the innocent alone. We're done here."

With that, Liara turned on her heel and walked out of the room leaving the stunned Matriarch in her wake.


	53. Chapter 53

Shepard sat slumped in her chair with her arms folded. She had been there for hours and she was more than a little restless. Annoyed, bored and irritated was more like it. Liara had encouraged her to accept the invitation to come to the meeting, telling Shepard how important it was for her to be involved in the democracy of her adopted planet. But if it was one thing the asari knew how to do, it was talk.

They were all seated in a large hall. Because it was Thessia, everyone had the opportunity to speak about any issue on the agenda or to even bring new items up for discussion. There were cameras everywhere so that others not in attendance, in this case planet-wide because it was a planet-wide policy debate, could watch the discussions. Shepard had been invited to speak by the Armali Council of Matriarchs and to give her opinion as to whether Thessia should consider forming a permanent, centralized military. To Shepard, it was a no-brainer. After what they had all just been through, Shepard thought that it would be a no-brainer for the majority of the asari as well but apparently not. Instead, they had been discussing the ramifications of the decision for days, weeks, months and now years.

They discussed the feasibility of such a military, the necessity for such a military, whether such a military would change asari culture too much, the dangers of having such a military, the costs to the economic, religious, cultural and political life of the asari for such a military. And then they discussed it again and again and again. Arguments on each side were presented, examined, rebutted until the same debates came full circle and were then started all over again. It was amazing to Shepard that they were ever able to get anything done. But then with a 1000 plus year life span, you could discuss a plan for 500 years and then still have over 500 years to implement your decision. Shepard didn't have that luxury.

When it was finally her turn to speak, the VI moderator floated over to her with its microphone and the multiple cameras in the room all turned in her direction. Shepard gave a no-nonsense, straight forward argument for why the military was necessary, mainly to help prevent Thessia from ever falling again. She knew that her speech was being broadcast and recorded, as all political discussions on Thessia were, so she tried her best not to appear as bored and irritated as she felt. The matriarchs listened to what she had to say but there was always the condescension. They were polite to her, mostly, but Shepard could feel the condescension through the words. They treated Shepard as if she were a slightly dim-witted child. A slightly dangerous, dim-witted child with behavioral issues, to be more precise. One of the matriarchs had been particularly relentless in refuting Shepard's arguments. After Shepard had expressed her anger at being asked to speak and then being attacked for expressing the opinion that she had been asked to give, it got personal and ugly.

"You do realize Ms. Shepard, that I have been alive for 956 years. I was born in the Earth year 1232. Tell me Admiral, what were humans doing in the Earth year 1232?" Matriarch Ravana said it with an ever so slight smirk and to Shepard, it felt like a slap in the face, obviously meant to insult both her and her race.

"Shitting into holes in the ground and huddling around fires for warmth. What's your point? How is that relevant? Since we're talking about our backgrounds, why don't I tell you mine? By the time I was 29 years old, I was a leader in the War to save the galaxy from a threat that had wiped out all advanced organic life for the last billion years. By the age of 32, I had helped to defeated that enemy. So tell me, Matriarch, by the age of 32, what had you accomplished? Deciding what tattoos to get on your scalp crests?"

There was an audible gasp in the assembled crowd. The Matriarch turned a deep shade of purple and the smirk that had been on her face left to be replaced by a slight curl in her lips. Before Ravana could come up with a suitable response, Shepard abruptly got up and left the meeting room, the cameras following her movement as she went.

Shepard and Liara were lying together after putting Benezia to bed. Shepard had her hand on Liara's slightly swollen belly, gently rubbing circles. Shepard was still fuming a little after the day's events. She just could not see how blind they could all still be after everything that had happened. And she was more than a little miffed that despite the stiff politeness, they treated her with such disrespect.

"They are just so full of themselves. They treat me like I'm a child who doesn't know what she's talking about. How can they be so arrogant? How can they be so egotistical? Especially that Ravana bitch. The ego on that one!"

"Well, I guess after living 900 years, you naturally think that you've picked up a thing or two." Liara smiled to herself before continuing. "Besides, she has nothing on the most arrogant person who I've ever met."

"Who's that?"

"You."

Shepard stopped rubbing and propped her head up on her hand so that she could look at Liara's profile.

"What are you talking about? You think I'm arrogant?!"

"Oh, just a little bit."

"How can you say that? I may be confident but I'm not arrogant. And I treat everyone with respect!"

"You treat everyone with respect but you think you're better than they are. You consider it a kindness to treat your subordinates that way and most people you see as subordinate to you. Kind of like the way that an extremely intelligent Matriarch who has lived so long and seen so much, must feel about most of the people she meets."

"That's bullshit, Liara! I think of myself as an average person, no better or worse than anyone else!"

Liara couldn't help but laugh a little at Shepard's outrage and lack of self-awareness. "Okay. So when you decide to do your Queen of the Girl Scouts thing, you do it because you hold yourself up to this higher standard than everyone else. You may forgive others their small transgressions because they are mere mortals but that would never be good enough for the Great Shepard!"

Shepard rolled onto her back, not caring to look at Liara anymore.

"More bullshit. I always strive to do the right thing because it's the right thing to do. Ego has nothing to do with it!"

"Okay, so back in the day. I saw you do this so many times, I lost count. You are stopping a 'bad guy' and instead of just shooting him first like so many others would do, you talk to him and give him a chance to give himself up or to walk away. Despite the fact that doing this could potentially endanger yourself and the people with you, you do it anyway. Why is that?"

"I did it because it's the right thing to do! You just don't go around shooting people because they've done something wrong or they are in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"So, let's say that you knew in one of these situations that if you didn't shoot them right away, they would kill you or one of your crewmen. Would you do it anyway?"

"Of course not. That would just be stupid."

"So, you did it because you were confident that regardless of how they reacted, you would be able to handle it? That you would be the victor? That they really couldn't hurt you anyway so why not be noble and hold yourself to the highest standard?"

"It's not my fault if I am good at what I do. Or what I used to do. It's not my fault that I'm good at most of the things that I've ever tried."

Liara laughed again. "There's that humility again."

"I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone else. I'm just better than most people at a lot of things. I think that false humility is the real sign of arrogance. And it's patronizing. If you're good at something, it's not arrogant to admit it. And look who's talking! Tell me that you don't think that you're the smartest person in the room when you walk into most rooms!"

"You forget that I'm an asari and there are a lot of very smart asari."

"And what group of people in the entire galaxy are more arrogant than the asari? You people are just so smart and wise and beautiful!"

"Well, if you're smart and wise and beautiful than according to Admiral Shepard, it's not arrogant to admit it." Liara smiled.

"Unbelievable!" Shepard said with a sigh of exasperation. "So, if I am such an arrogant putz than why are you married to me?"

"You have many good qualities."

"Such as?"

"I'd tell you but your head is already too big. I'm just saying what I already know that you know because I've seen you in action. You get more flies with honey than with vinegar, I think that is the quote."

"You know, some of this might just be old-fashioned culture shock. I did just get here, you know."

"I know. You've never had trouble dealing with aliens before."

"I've never been surrounded by aliens before. This place is just lousy with them."

Liara smiled and ignored the insult. "And you've always been in charge before."

"It is so much easier when you're in charge. I don't remember the last time someone questioned the value of my opinion. And carrying guns makes it so much easier as well. You always have the option to just shoot them. And they know that."

"I seem to remember certain times in my life not too long ago when I was surrounded by aliens with not a single blue person in sight. Just all the pinks, tans and browns. And I managed and I think you will too."

"Well, right now I only really like two asari: you and Bene. And at this exact moment, I'm not too sure about you."

Liara laughed into Shepard's shoulder. "Well, I still like my Human even if she did just manage to insult my entire race on the vids."

"I didn't mean to insult your entire race, just that woman. And I admit that I lost my temper a little."

"You did kind of imply that you think that the entire Asari culture is screwed up and that you think we are all slow."

Shepard was quiet as she thought about it for a few moments. "I can see how from a certain perspective, it might have seemed like this alien, who has only been here for about six months, strutted out on stage, told everyone how she was only 35 years old but how she saved all their asses so now they should just change their entire way of life because she knows better than they do."

"Yes, kind of. A little bit."

Shepard covered her face with her hand. "Okay. I want to change the subject now. I'm not enjoying this conversation at all."

Liara sighed and turned on her own side so that she could look at Shepard. Shepard turned on her side so that she could look at Liara again as well.

"I have a confession to make. I think I might have been the cause of Matriarch Ravana's special public venom towards you. She confronted me at my work after that stunt that you pulled with the government computers…

"What stunt? I didn't do anything with any computers."

"Of course not. You don't have the ability to pull off anything that sophisticated so I'm thinking that is was Ms Zorah vas Normandy who helped you. As I was saying before you interrupted, Matriarch Ravanna came to my work to have a discussion about this…incident."

"Okay. I'm not admitting that I had anything to do with any incident with any computers. I'm also not admitting that Ms Zorah vas Normandy had anything to do with it or that she was literally giggling with glee while she was doing it but what did this Matriarch Revolting say to you?"

"I can actually visualize Tali giggling as she did it. Anyway, Ravana confronted me and strongly implied that my Bondmate was the cause of this incident. Of course, I strongly denied it because my Bondmate would never do such a thing. I then told her that if I found out that High Command bugged my computers again, I would bring it to the attention of the major news agencies of all the Citadel races. I then told her that if she so much as looked at my Bondmate strangely in the future, that I would reveal old secrets of hers and the other matriarchs from the Shadow Broker's files."

Shepard looked at Liara for another moment, trying to decide if she should be angry or proud.

"Okay, so let me get this straight. She beat up on me today because she was mad at you for threatening her? Despite the fact that you just got through telling me the whole honey instead of vinegar thing? So, now I'm seen as a culturally-insensitive lout?"

"She was very confrontational and I responded in kind. And she wouldn't even have been there if it were not for your little stunt. I should have warned you but I had no idea that she would be that bold."

"Again, I deny any involvement in any stunt." Shepard couldn't help but smile. "Did you really threaten her?"

Liara smiled in return. "Yes"

"You are officially my favorite asari again. Can we release embarrassing information about her now? She definitely looked at me funny."

"I don't think that would be wise. Nothing will come of this unless we push it. Besides, I looked at her records. She is, at worst, a boring public servant. Ambitious, with a need for power but nothing scandalous. She was even bonded to the same turian for 80 years in her matron days."

"Damn! It would have been fun to take her down. Maybe we can make something up?"

Liara chuckled. "I think it would be best if we, what's that expression that you use, 'let sleeping dogs lie' unless she makes another move against us, which I doubt she will do. She doesn't know what we have against her or the other matriarchs."

"Okay." Shepard paused for a moment. "Does that mean that just shooting her is completely out of the question?"

Liara didn't even bother to respond. After another moment, Shepard spoke again.

"I really do care about the issue, I hope you know. On a planet with so many natural biotics, Thessia should have taken the longest to fall. Instead, it was one of the quickest and it was because of your fractured, inconsistent militaries that it happened."

"I know that. I know that you really care and I agree with you. Changes need to be made. But it is in our very natures to embrace change slowly. To be cautious and not to jump to hasty conclusions. It's a big reason why direct democracy works here when it would be a disaster elsewhere. It's a natural by-product of thousand year lifespans perhaps."

"I'm not going to be around forever. I want you and our daughters to always have a safe homeworld to live on. What if one of the decisions I made, somehow puts you in danger hundreds of years from now? What if Wrex and Bacara die and the krogan go on the warpath again? What if the rachni come back some day? What if…"

Liara leaned forward and kissed Shepard slowly.

"There's a little of that arrogance again, sweetheart. You can't predict or control things that might happen after your death. It's good that you care enough to try to change things that you believe should be changed but what happens in the future is not your burden. It's no one person's burden."

Shepard pulled Liara in closer and began kissing her neck. "You keep talking about my arrogance as if it's a bad thing. I thought you liked my swagger?"

Liara smiled and her breath hitched as Shepard's mouth and tongue moved further down her body. "There's definitely something to be said about a little swagger."


	54. Chapter 54

A/N: I just wanted to thank everyone who has read, followed, and favorited this story as well as the people who have posted reviews and/or PM'd me. I think we are getting near to the homestretch here (ok, maybe not but I think I am at least in the last quarter of the story) and appreciate everyone who has encouraged me to continue. Feel free to tell me if I have continued too long and it's getting boring. ;)

Shepard was lying on a towel at a small, lakeside beach, surrounded by trees. The place had become one of Shepard's favorite places on Thessia. It was a peaceful oasis away from the city and most importantly, away from curious people. Shepard had never seen anyone here and had only discovered it herself after taking a wrong turn or two on one of her longer runs.

Shepard was dozing lightly when a sound from behind her woke her up. At first, Shepard's only thought was that she shouldn't have fallen asleep like that because now, she would be sunburned. Thessia's higher temperatures and more intense sun were Shepard's least favorite things about her new planet. But then Shepard remembered what had woken her up. She distinctly remembered hearing footsteps in the woods behind her. Casually, she rolled over onto her stomach so that she could see behind her.

Guns! Shepard felt the familiar rush of adrenaline coursing through her body. The three asari had guns and they were coming her way. _I have no weapons, no armor, no shields! _Shepard knew that guns were strictly controlled on a Thessia so if these people had guns, it could only mean trouble. They were wearing armor but there was no insignia of any kind. _Not your typical Mercs_. Shepard thought of her options. Her only hope was to run. But then, there was no cover anywhere on the beach. Shepard made up her mind to dive for the lake. If she could get down far enough, quick enough, the water might even protect her from biotic attacks and it would protect her from slugs.

The women were approaching Shepard with purpose. Shepard knew without a doubt that they were coming for her._ How did they find me here_?! Shepard casually rolled over on her back once more and then in an instant, vaulted up from the towel and bolted towards the water. After a moment's confusion, her three pursuers started running after her. Shepard noticed that they were not firing their weapons which meant that they wanted her alive. _That's a break_. As Shepard reached the water, she dove under water as soon as the water was deep enough for her to do so and she swam near the bottom. Her only hope was to reach the small island in the middle of the lake. And then maybe if she could, to swim to the far shore.

Back at the water's edge, the three asari had a choice to make. It would too difficult to swim in their armor and they guessed that Shepard would be making a break towards the island. No way there except to swim. Way too far to try to levitate with the help of biotics. The three took off the bulkiest pieces of armor and started in the water.

Shepard swam underwater until she reached the shore. She stuck her mouth up above the water just enough to get in more breaths and then slid under the water once more. She did not want her pursuers to see her getting out of the water so she swam along the shore to the side of the island until she thought she found a place which would cover her exit from view.

Shepard pulled herself from the water, keeping low and staying below the brush along the shore. Shepard considered her options once again. To her left, there were three asari with guns chasing her, all of them still a distance from the shore. To her right, she could see the far shore of the lake. Shepard knew that she could swim the distance. But then what? Was there civilization over there? Help? Shepard couldn't see anything on the shore that indicated anything asari-made. It's possible that no one was around for miles and Shepard could end up being chased for hours, days like the prey of a stubborn predator, getting more and more tired and weaker and weaker. There was plenty of cover in the form of rocks, trees and undergrowth on the island. _And they don't know where I am_. With the tactical situation changed, Shepard started to feel the anger rise up in her and she made her decision.

Aethyta turned on her computer to catch the news and saw the breaking news. Admiral Shepard the victim of a failed kidnapping attempt! read the headline. Aethyta scanned further. "Armed unaffiliated mercenaries attempted to kidnap Admiral Shepard today in an apparent attempt to extort money from the Armali government." Alarmed, Aethyta scanned further. "Admiral Shepard was able to disarm her pursuers before Armali police came to her aid in the remote, rural location. The attackers do not appear to have been well-trained...Admiral Shepard unharmed." Aethyta breathed a sigh of relief. She noticed the advertisement flashing at her on the bottom of the news article. 'Hot new Shepard picture! Download today!'

Aethyta clicked on the advertisement and paid the fee to download the picture. Aethyta let out a long, throaty laugh when the picture came up. The picture showed a topless, sunburned Shepard with a fierce, very annoyed look on her face. Her skin was glistening with water droplets and her wet hair was slicked back. She stood tall with her fists on her hips, scowling at whoever took the picture. _Shepard is going to be so pissed_! Aethyta had been tired after a long day of political in-fighting but she decided that she just had to go visit her daughter and daughter-in-law today. She needed to go express relief that her daughter-in-law was okay but also to amuse herself by showing Shepard this picture. _It's going to be so much fun torturing her with this_! Aethyta thought and downloaded the picture to a large portable frame.

Shepard finally arrived home and was soon greeted at the door by Liara and Bene. Liara gave Shepard a hug.

"Thank the goddess you are alright. Are you hurt anywhere?"

Shepard gave Liara a quick kiss on the lips. "I'm fine. No injuries except for the sunburn."

Shepard bent over and picked up Bene, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy" Bene began chanting while patting Shepard's very red cheeks with her hands. Shepard winced at the contact.

"Daddy is very sunburned. Please don't hit Daddy's cheeks."

Bene stopped her patting and gently put her hands on her father's cheeks instead.

"You vewy wed, Daddy." Bene said peering at her father. Shepard always found it adorable that her daughter couldn't quite master the English 'r' sound yet.

"And you are very blue!" Shepard said before giving her daughter another kiss and then letting her down on the ground. Shepard moved to the kitchen where Liara was preparing dinner.

"Do they know who it was that attacked you? What did they want?"

"They are saying it was just some kids, orphans, who were looking to make a name for themselves and get some quick cash. The leader said that she was trying to start her own mercenary group and they needed the funds. They were thinking that the Armali government would be so embarrassed that I was kidnapped that they'd pay a ransom." Shepard paused, trying to figure out how to break the news to Liara. "She's just a confused kid with no one to turn to. Once she completes her sentence, we're going to be sending her to school." Shepard held her breath waiting for Liara's reaction.

"What? We are going to send her to school?! What does that mean?"

"I promised her that if she put down her gun, surrendered to the authorities, and did her time, that I'd pay her way into Vet's school if she can get in."

Liara sighed. "That is not a good precedent to set, Shepard. Now every desperate orphan will try to kidnap you. If only to get an education out of it. You can't help every orphan on the planet yourself."

"No one has to know about our arrangement. I told her not to tell anyone or the deal is off. I just felt so bad for her. You should have seen her. She was trying to act tough but she was almost crying and her hand was shaking so badly, I doubt she could have hit the broad side of a space station. Besides, I'm supposed to be the new 'no-kill' Shepard, remember?"

"The old 'kill' Shepard was a lot cheaper. You do know that college on Thessia is not cheap and there are a lot fewer scholarships since the war? We will have two now to save college money for."

Shepard moved over to Liara and bent down to kiss her swollen belly.

"All the more reason to help this kid out. Without it, she will turn into another stupid Merc which is the last thing this galaxy needs. And we'll have plenty of money to send our kids to whatever school they want to go to. Even if I have to...GET A JOB!" Shepard said the last part with mock horror.

Before Liara could respond, the doorbell buzzed.

"Better not be the press. We are not spending all this money on a secure building for them to let the press slip through."

Shepard answered the door and Aethyta walked through the open door.

"Nice to see you alive, Shepard", Aethyta said before breezing past Shepard to go in the kitchen with Liara and Benezia. Shepard followed behind her.

"As I was saying, why are we spending all this money on a secure apartment when they just let all sorts of riff-raff through to darken our doorstep?" Shepard said, walking back into the kitchen.

Aethyta ignored the rude comment and was too busy cooing over her granddaughter to respond.

"Close your eyes and hold out your hands, Benezia."

Benezia did as she was told and was rewarded with a new stuffed animal. Benezia threw her arms around Aethyta.

"Thank you, granddaddy!"

"You're spoiling her, Aethyta. You can't bring her a gift every time you see her." Shepard said with a sigh.

"I'm the grandfather. I can do whatever the hell I want. You two are the parents, not me. I spoil her and you two clean up whatever mess that I create. That's how it works."

"At this rate, we are going to have to get a new apartment just to hold all of Benezia's stuff so maybe you could cut back the gift giving a little?" Liara asked.

Aethyta ignored her daughter's plea, leaned against a counter and turned to face Shepard.

"Speaking of gifts and giving, don't you think that you've already given the universe enough, Shepard? I know that you are a bit of a slut but do you really need to share your body with the entire galaxy?"

Shepard folded her arms in front of her and looked at Aethyta.

"What are you talking about? And will you kindly refrain from saying such words in front of my very young daughter?"

"She is too young to even know what the good words are yet. I'm talking about this…" Aethyta held a small device in her hand; she touched a button and out sprang a large photo of the half-naked Shepard. Shepard blinked at the photo, unable to process what she was seeing at first. And then her eyes narrowed at Aethyta.

"Where did you get that?" Shepard growled.

"It's all over the extranet. I always suspected that you were a stripper at heart and the whole military thing just kind of got in the way."

Liara put a hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh. Shepard moved towards Aethyta with her hand out.

"Give me that! Who put this up? I am going to sue them into oblivion. You shouldn't be looking at a picture of me like that!"

Aethyta backed away, holding the device away from her.

"You can't sue on Thessia if you run around naked in public and someone takes a picture of you."

"I was not running around naked! I was viciously attacked and my top came off while I was fighting for my very life!"

"Oh! I love that picture! You look so sexy. Let me have it." Liara said.

Shepard glared at Liara.

"Why do you need a pornographic picture of me when I'm right here and you can see me naked whenever you want?!"

"I might need it for later."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Instead of answering, Liara just smiled and caught the small device as Aethyta threw it to her. Shepard looked stern at Liara and moved towards her to try to get it away from her. With a small giggle, Liara threw it back to Aethyta.

"Really? How old are you people? A combined age of over 1100 years and you both act younger than Bene sometimes."

Shepard moved towards Aethyta and held out her hand.

"Give it to me. Do you have any idea how inappropriate it is for a father-in-law to look at a picture like that of her daughter-in-law? We've had this discussion before. There are boundaries."

Aethyta threw the device back to Liara but Shepard was ready this time and she managed to jump up and tip it. The device fell right at the feet of Benezia who picked it up eagerly, wanting to get in on the game.

"Give it to Daddy, sweetie."

"No, give it to Mommy, honey."

Benezia looked confused for a moment and then threw it to Shepard. Shepard managed to grab it despite Benezia's horrible throw. She then went over to Benezia and kissed her with a smug look on her face.

"That's Daddy's girl!"

Liara sighed and stuck her tongue out at Shepard.

"She is such a Daddy's Girl, isn't she? It's so unfair."

"That's as it should be. But we both love Mommy to pieces don't we, sweetie?"

Shepard picked Benezia up and walked over to Liara. They both gave Liara a wet kiss on the cheek.  
Liara wiped her cheek with the back of her hand and a mock look of disgust on her face.

"It doesn't matter. I already have the picture downloaded to my omni-tool and will give it to you." Aethyta said looking at Liara. She then addressed Shepard. "You can use this. You want to convince the asari to have a centralized, permanent military? A little sex appeal will do more to convince some asari than anything that you can say. It's a good picture but it's a shame what gravity does to the human body at such a young age. They are already starting to sag a little, aren't they, Liara?"

"Maybe just a little since we first met."

"Liara! You're a pervert, Aethyta. There are some things that a father-in-law should never look at and never discuss. Her daughter-in-law's tits are two of those things!"

Aethyta brought up the photo on her omni-tool and examined it clinically.

"And there is just a little hint of a gut as well. At least there are no 'love handles' yet. I wonder how long it will be before the cellulite takes over on the thighs and ass?"

"That's it! I've still got sand in places where no person should ever have sand so I'm going to go shower. When I get out, I'm going to wear long pants and a turtle neck because my father-in-law is a pervert!"

Shepard stormed out, handing towards the stairs. She got half-way up, stopped and stomped back down to the kitchen.

"I might have gained a little weight but that's because we're pregnant! I'll have you know I am still in top shape!" Shepard said defensively.

Aethyta looked at Shepard with a confused look on her face. "I know it's been a while but has asari pregnancy changed since my day? Are you carrying the kid now, Shepard?"

"No. It's sympathy weight. It's very common for fathers to gain a little weight while their wives are pregnant. Once the baby comes, I'll have it off in no time."

"Believe it when I see it. I fear this is just the beginning of the slide towards the inevitable, fat, bloated decline. You're lucky we asari aren't as superficial as you humans are."

"Yeah, I see that. That's why crest tattoos are a billion-credit industry on this planet. Because you're all so deep. I'm not going to let you get to me today, Aethyta. I've already been abused today."

"Rolling around half-naked in the sand with three 50 year old maidens hardly counts as abuse, Sheppie."

"Sheppie? I don't think so, Old Woman. You can call me Admiral Shepard! And I'll have you know, they wore armor and had guns so I could have very easily been killed."

"You against three armed but untrained kids playing at being mercs? That's not even a fair fight. How did you disarm them anyway?" Aethyta asked, sincerely for once.

"I used my superior knowledge of tactics, my deadly knowledge of hand-to-hand combat techniques, and an improvised weapon system to disarm my deadly foes."

"Improvised weapon system? You're talking about a stick, right? They must have been real deadly if you could defeat them with a stick and a bikini. Or should I say, half of a bikini. But then, you probably out-weighed them all by at least 40 pounds with how heavy you are now."

"My body is one big muscle. I defeated them despite the overwhelming advantage that they had because I am the best there is!"

With that, Shepard turned and headed up the stairs once more. Liara turned to Aethyta with an amused look on her face.

"You have to stop teasing her so badly. She's already very sensitive to the fact that she's going to age so much more quickly than I am. She tries so hard to stay in shape but it's so much harder now that she's no longer in the military."

"I'm just doing my job, Daughter. Someone needs to kick her in the ass every once in the while and you're still too gaga over her to do it properly yourself."

"Really? You're trying to help her?" Liara grinned and shook her head. "And all this time, I thought you teased her because it amused you to do so."

Aethyta smiled back. "No one ever said that a person can't enjoy their work. But it is actually work that I take very seriously. Think about it, Liara. She saved the whole goddess-damned galaxy. Damn near every person in the whole galaxy knows her name. As you have probably noticed, men and women throw themselves at her everywhere she goes. She has her own damn cult. But all she really wants is to have the normal life that she's never had. As her family, it is our job to make sure her head doesn't get too big. It's our job to make sure she stays tethered to the ground."

Shepard came back down to dinner in a long-sleeved shirt and pants. Liara laughed when she saw Shepard, who usually dressed in shorts and a t-shirt when she was home. Shepard saw Aethyta seated at their table and rolled her eyes.

"Oh good, you're staying for dinner." Shepard said sarcastically.

"I'm over here anyway so I might as well. And you didn't cook it so it should be safe."

Shepard sat down at the table and started squirming. She wiped the sweat off her forehead with her napkin.

"Jesus, it's hot in here. Why do you have to keep the heat up so high?" Shepard asked Liara.

"Because Benezia and I both live here too and we think it's comfortable at this temperature. Two against one, I'm afraid."

Shepard stood up and pulled the long-sleeve shirt off over her head so that she was wearing just her sports bra. She threw the shirt into the living room and sat back down as Aethyta watched her intently.

"I understand. Once you start strippin', it can become addicting." Aethyta dead-panned.

"I do not strip. I am making myself comfortable in my own home. Stop looking at my tits and we'll be fine." Shepard turned her head towards Liara. "I understand that you like it warmer but shouldn't we compromise on this? Isn't marriage supposed to be about compromise? Do you have to keep the temperature up quite so high? "

Liara gave her a mischievous smile as she placed the food dishes down on the table.

"Well, the truth is, I want you to be as naked as possible as you're watching my child and cleaning my house. More eye candy for me."

"Liara! That is the single most sexist thing that you've ever said to me! You sound exactly like a sexist human male." Shepard responded.

"Technically, I don't have a sex so I can't possibly be sexist." Liara said with a wink. She moved over to Shepard and ran her hand over Shepard's stomach before giving her a kiss on cheek and taking a seat at the table. "I'm just teasing you because you are just so sexy no matter what you wear."

Shepard had finished eating her dinner faster than any of the three asari at the table. Eating as quickly as possible was an old habit born of her years in the military and it was a difficult one to break. Shepard was animated as she continued to make her point.

"I understand that with the asari, it is mental as well as physical and humans are the same way. I mean, there's a reason why I married you Li and not some vapid airhead asari because brains count. And so does personality and humor and character. All *I'm* saying is that the physical counts as well. We're talking about sex here not just friendship. One cannot help who they are sexually attracted to and some people and species are just more physically attractive than others to me."

"As I said, we asari are not as superficial as you are. We have the ability to mate with anyone so the physical is just not that important. Who cares what they look like? It's what is upstairs that's the turn on!" Aethyta countered.

"Says the woman who still goes on and on about her bondmate's tits. The physical still matters! How can it not? There are some races that are more physically attractive to your eyes than others. There has to be!"

"I think there are individual asari who have a preference for one species over others. That's where individual preferences come in. But I don't think that any one species is more attractive to the asari over all." Liara said.

Shepard shook her head. "That just doesn't make sense!" Shepard said. She got up out of her chair and moved over to her daughter, capturing Bene's chin in her hand. She gently moved her chin back and forth as her daughter smiled and then stuck out her tongue. "Okay. Look at this face! This is an adorable face! How do you look in this face every morning while you're brushing your teeth growing up and not have a preference for other faces that look like yours? Especially if you grow up being loved and nurtured by a mother who has an equally lovely face and are mostly surrounded by other asari who also have lovely faces? How could you then look at, say, a krogan or a vorcha and think, yup, I have just got to hit that!?"

"That's just it, Shepard. Our kids will always look like us. Why the hell should we care what our partners look like? It won't affect our kids in that way." Atheyta said. "You still think Benezia is adorable even though she's not human."

Shepard rolled her eyes. "That's because she's asari and the asari are just bald humans with thick, blue skin and tentacles on their heads. That's my whole point here. I find Liara attractive because your species is close enough to mine physically that the differences don't matter. Not so with some of these other aliens. And kids are different anyway. I think Wrex's kids are adorable too. Something about how small they are. Did you ever notice that the kids of even horrible-looking creatures look cute?"

"So, you're saying that if I were horrible disfigured by some accident, you would no longer love me?" Liara asked while rolling her eyes.

"What?! No! I already love you." Shepard waved her hand in the direction of the newly-rebuilt Glyph. "If you could somehow upload your essence into a floating orb, I would still love you. What I'm saying is that if you were say, a female krogan instead of an asari when we first met, it would have put you squarely in the 'friends only' camp. No matter how much I liked and appreciated you as a person. That's just how sexual attraction is."

"So, you're saying the asari and the humans are the most sexually attractive races?"

"I'm saying that to me, a human, the asari and humans are the most sexually attractive species. I realize that to a krogan or a vorcha, the humans must look as ugly as hell." Shepard mulled it over some more. "In fact, in some ways, because there are fewer physical variations, I would say that the asari have it over the humans in the looks department. I've seen plenty of ugly humans. I've seen asari who are not as attractive as others but I don't think I've ever seen an ugly one. Present company excepted." Shepard smiled at Aethyta.

Liara sighed and shook her head. Aethyta just laughed.

"So what you're saying is that you, Admiral Shepard, find the asari to be the most sexually-attractive and beautiful race in the galaxy. You personally find the asari to be more attractive than humans?" Aethyta asked.

"I didn't say that. I'm so sick of how full of yourselves you all are. To me, humans are the most beautiful but to me personally, human females are the most sexually attractive. I find men to be sexually attractive as well but I am personally more sexually attracted to females."

Liara chuckled. "But you just said that the asari are just humans with blue skin and tentacles and we are all female. If you find females that look like humans to be the most physically attractive then you are saying by logical deduction, that the asari are the most physically attractive species in the galaxy."

Shepard just sighed and crossed her arms. She was decidedly outnumbered and starting to get annoyed. She wasn't going to win this one.

Later that night, Shepard received several messages about the day's events from several of her so-called friends. Much to her annoyance, not one of them mentioned the kidnapping or expressed relief that she was not killed or seriously wounded. Apparently, the picture spread as quickly as the news story. The message from James, still training in Rio, read: 'Muy Caliente! I always knew you were a Lola at heart.' The message from Garrus and Tali on Palaven was even more infuriating: 'Shepard, it's good to see you adopting the cultural mores of your new planet. Just stay away from the pole dancing. You can NOT pull it off.' But the worst message of all came from Jack: 'Nice tits, Shepard but you're looking a little soft around the middle. If Blue will let you come out to Grissom, I'd let you do some PT with my new biotic students. Looks like you could use it.'

Shepard was even more pissed off when she saw the blurb in the next day's Thessian news sources: 'Admiral Shepard, ardent supporter of a centralized, permanent military on Thessia, thinks that the asari are the most physically attractive race in the galaxy according to an inside sources.' Of course, the picture taken the previous day also accompanied the blurb. There was no doubt in Shepard's mind exactly who the 'inside source' was.


	55. Chapter 55

Shepard was sprawled on the couch sighing. Liara, on the other end of the couch, looked up from her datapad.

"Okay, I'll bite. Why the deep sighing?"

"I need a little excitement. I need something new and fun to do. I'm done exploring the immediate areas around Armali."

"Well, considering that you almost got kidnapped on one of your last excursions, that's a blessing. The Armax Arena has reopened down town. Why don't you go play a few rounds and I'll take care of Benezia when she wakes up."

Shepard scoffed and waved away the thought with one of her hands.

"Please Liara. I was a real soldier who saw real combat more times than I can count. I don't want to go play fake war like some child."

"But you enjoyed it when you used to go play on the Citadel. Besides, you play that online war game with Garrus all the time."

"Oh, you know about that?"

Liara smiled at Shepard. "I was wondering what you were doing locked away in your office all those hours. Tali was wondering the same thing with Garrus and she caught him at it, swearing vigorously."

"That's because I was kicking his ass. And I'll have you know that I am doing serious work sometimes when I am 'locked away' in my office as you call it."

"Like what kind of work?"

"My therapist told me it would be a good idea if I wrote down everything about the War. She said that the more I remember and write about it, the easier it will get for me."

"Sounds like a good idea. I'm doing a little writing myself."

Shepard lifted her head up and looked at Liara intrigued.

"Oh yeah? About what? Work stuff?"

Liara shook her head. "Did you see the report in today's news? Another prior indoctrinated person was beat up and almost killed on Earth. The perpetrators said that the victim deserved it because he was a deliberate traitor during the War and that there was no such thing as indoctrination. I have heard similar whisperings here on Thessia about my mother. Less than three years after the War and people are already trying to change the facts and distort the truth."

"Idiots. The Indoctrinated were some of the reaper's worst victims, no less so because their imprisonment was mental rather than merely physical. They deserve support to try to get over what they went through, not beatings and demonization. What are you writing about?"

"I was thinking of writing about my mother and using her story to illustrate just how powerful and irrefutable the indoctrination phenomenon was. I intend to bring together all the evidence that we have to show beyond any doubt that indoctrination was very real and almost irresistible."

Shepard looked closely at Liara before popping up and going to sit closer to her on the couch, putting an arm around her.

"Are you sure you want to do that? Are you sure it's not too soon?"

"I think I need to do it. For my mother's sake and for mine."

Shepard pulled her closer and kissed the top of her crest.

"In that case, give them hell, honey. The Idiots will always be Idiots but the fair-minded people need to know the truth and remember it least the Idiots win."

"Yes, but I admit my reasons for doing it are more personal than that. My mother was a good person and she dedicated her life to helping others. She worked for the betterment of the asari and for the common good of all species as well. She does not deserve to have her reputation destroyed when her only mistake was not realizing in time that she was in over her head."

"I agree and I know you'll do a good job. Some people will believe what they want to believe anyway but an impeccably researched, which I know it will be, record of the truth will be an invaluable resource for those studying this hundreds of years from now. I'll let you get to it. Now, as far as what I'm going to do for fun, how do you feel about high-altitude, wing suit jumping?"

Liara just gave Shepard 'the look'.

"I've done high-altitude combat jumps plenty of times and this would be like that only without any combat at the end. Perfectly safe. Yes?"

Liara lifted her omnitool and punched at it.

"I just purchased you an unlimited pass to the Arena. With the way you are, a virtual reality combat simulator is dangerous enough. Try not to break anything like last time."

"It was just my arm and if you aren't going to treat it like it's a real combat situation then what's the point?"

Shepard strode out of the arena, rolling her shoulders, a small smirk on her face. She had forgotten how good she was and how good this felt. She had never enjoyed killing but she couldn't deny that there was a certain high from being in a situation where it was kill or be killed and coming out the victor. She also could not deny that she was very good at it. Once she got into her zone, her senses completely alert, her reflexes heightened, her decision-making instantaneous, she was damn near unstoppable. She went over to the leader board, confident that she would be at the top despite the fact that she hadn't done this sort of thing regularly in years.

Shepard's slight smirk left her face as she blinked at the score board. Second place. At the top of the board was the name Aria T'Loak. Oh no. This will never do. What the hell is she even doing on Thessia? Why the hell did they even let her on Thessia? Shepard went back to the simulator and ordered another go round.

Interestingly, reapers were not one of the virtual enemy options because the owners, probably correctly, felt that it was still too soon and it could only upset people. After all, having a competitor suddenly break out sobbing and getting into a fetal position in the middle of a combat simulation was not good for business. It also did not help boast spectator numbers either in person or on the vids.

As she waited her turn to get back in the Arena, the crowds of spectators started building as word got out that the famous 'Commander Shepard' was there to play. When she entered the Arena again, Shepard smiled as the crowds erupted in cheers. Now that she had an audience, she'd really have to put on a show. She readied weapons and prepared for the onslaught of her fake deadly foes.

Many hours later, Shepard entered their apartment as quietly as possible. It was early in the morning and she felt just a little embarrassed that she had become so wrapped up in the stupid simulator that she had completely lost track of time. Benezia would be up and it would be time for their morning routine in just a few hours. When she found out that Aria was on top of many of the different levels and courses, she had no choice but to continue until she was on top of all of them. And at that point, it had just seemed silly not to continue until she was at the top of every leader board. Now she was starting to regret her decision as the aches and pains in her over-used muscles made themselves known.

After a quick stop in the master bath to shower and change her clothes, Shepard snuck into their bedroom and as quietly as possible, slipped under the sheets. At least Liara didn't wake up so she wouldn't have to try to explain. Her whole body ached but she was confident that after a few hours rest, she would be ready to take on the morning.

Before she even closed eyes or at least it seemed that way to Shepard, the alarm went off. Shepard felt the other side of the bed with her arm but Liara was already gone. She felt hungover but it was a work day so she had no choice but to get up. It was only when she moved to get up from the bed that she felt the extreme muscle ache in all areas of her body. When she stood up, her wobbly legs threatened to collapse underneath her and she had to wait a moment before she actually tried to move.

Shepard found Liara in the kitchen, already showered and dressed, putting her lunch together.

"Come on. Let me do that. You know that I like to get your lunch together for you."

"That's alright. I've got it. I know you had a late night last night. Were you in the combat sim the entire time? Are you sore?"

"No, not the whole time. I watched some matches. Talked to some people. No big deal." Shepard rubbed her neck. Even her fingers seemed sore. How is it even possible to overtax the muscles in one's fingers?

"So, you didn't overdo it? You weren't there until early this morning trying to beat every record, were you?"

"Why? What do you know?"

"That's not an answer, Shepard."

Liara touched her omnitool until the vid screen in the kitchen came on to the local Armali news. They were speaking of the galaxy-famous Commander Shepard shattering all the previous records at the Armax Arena.

"Talk about a slow news day. They don't have anything better to report on than a private citizen who goes down to an entertainment venue for a little fun?"

Just as Liara was about to respond, they both heard the first calls of their daughter through their omintools from the baby monitor.

"Mommy! Daddy! Up! Out!"

They now had about one minute to retrieve their impatient daughter from her crib before she would start crying. Shepard started towards the stairs. Normally, she would take the stairs two at a time but that just wasn't happening today. Instead, she concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other, slowly making her way up. When she finally got to her daughter's room, her daughter was standing in her crib, her hands gripping the railing, trying to throw one leg over the railing to get out of jail. Her face was pinched and she was about to start crying until she saw Shepard come in the door. Her face then split into a wide smile and she started jumping up and down excitedly.

"Daddy! Out, Daddy!"

Shepard lifted her daughter out of her crib ignoring the protesting muscles in her arms and back and covered her face in kisses.

"Good morning, Peanut! How is my baby girl today? Are you wet?"

After Shepard changed Benezia, they returned to the kitchen. Benezia started running around as soon as her feet touched the floor as Shepard went to prepare her breakfast.

"As I was saying, Liara. We both agreed that I should try to do normal people things. Going to the Arena is a normal people thing."

"Shepard, normal people might try some matches for an hour or so. Then they drink some beer for another couple and then they go home. They don't stay all night doing it over and over again until they have beaten every record."

"Well then other people suck. It's not my fault."

Instead of responding, Liara only rolled her eyes and gave her daughter another morning kiss before letting her down on the ground again. Liara then sat down to eat her breakfast. She took a sip of her tea and a bite of her toast as Shepard started putting her own breakfast down in the spot next to hers. Shepard then sat Benezia in her high chair and put some cereal and fruit in front of her daughter as well as her 'sippy cup' full of juice.

After making sure that Benezia was happily feeding herself, Shepard glanced at Liara sitting next to her. She didn't appear to be mad about Shepard's late night. Might as well get this over with. The sooner she knows the better.

"I found out something interesting while I was at the arena. Aria T'Loak is on Thessia right now."

Liara stopped eating and looked at Shepard.

"So that's why you were at the Arena so long? You were playing with Aria?"

"What? No! She wasn't physically at the Arena. She had just posted some high scores that I decimated, by the way. So I called her and now she's coming over to dinner tomorrow night."

"What?! She's coming here? Why?"

"Well, I invited her over. Think about it, Liara. We need to get as many people on board with Benezia as possible. Garrus and Tali and your father and I are not going to live forever. If something were to happen to you, we need as many people as possible around who care about our daughters."

"Pfft. Aria T'Loak is the last person I would want to look after Benezia if something were to happen to me. And I doubt that she cares about anyone but herself."

"Look, I'm not saying that I would want her raising our kids. I'm just saying if we can get her invested, one never knows when it might be advantageous for our kids to know a ruthless warlord."

"I don't trust her. And I don't trust you around her. She manipulates you too easily because of your weaknesses."

"What are you talking about? When has she manipulated me? What weaknesses?"

"Your need to see good in everyone even when there is none or very little to be found and your sexual attractions. She got you to take back Omega for her, risking your life on a mission that did very little to win the overall war."

"First of all, I'm not sexually attracted to Aria. Secondly, we've discussed this before. Helping her with Omega gave us much-needed resources during the War and it weakened Cerberus. Finally, I think there is a good person under there somewhere. Did it ever occur to you that Omega is better off with Aria than it would be without her? I think Omega would be an even more dangerous and lawless place without her there with constant gang warfare and the innocent getting caught in the crossfire."

"I'm not talking about Omega. I'm talking about having her over to dinner. I know that you have a sense of loyalty to her but I doubt very much that she has any towards you."

"I think you're wrong. I think she does have a sense of loyalty. I think it would be a good thing to cultivate that loyalty. It's dinner. What harm can come from dinner?"

"Fine, Shepard. Do what you want. I'll be civil but don't expect me to try to be friends with her, not that she has friends. I've got to go to work. I leave it up to you to get everything needed for this little dinner party of yours."

The next evening, Aria came over and was only fifteen minutes late when Shepard had planned on it being closer to thirty minutes due to Aria's exaggerated sense of her own importance. Shepard greeted her at the door with Benezia in her arms.

"Aria! Glad that you could make it. Come in and sit down." Shepard smiled brightly. "I can't even believe they let a person like you on Thessia."

"Even you aren't that naive. I'm more popular than ever here with the credits and resources that I have at my disposal. Besides, this is my planet. You're the alien here, Shepard."

"What can I get you to drink? I've got some Noverian rum or maybe a Serrice Ice Brandy?"

"How about something stronger? An elasa?"

Aria sat down on the couch like she owned it. Shepard walked over to her smiling.

"You got it. Here, watch Benezia while I go get it for you."

"I'd prefer not…"

Before Aria could protest further, Shepard plopped Benezia down on Aria's lap as she turned to leave.

"Say hi to your Aunt Aria, Bene", Shepard threw over her shoulder.

"Hi Ant Awia."

"Hello." Aria said curtly as she moved the child from her lap to the couch. Undeterred, Benezia crawled back into her lap. She then stood up on Aria's legs to look into her face, grabbing Aria's jacket to pull herself up. As Shepard returned to the room carrying Aria's drink, she heard Benezia speaking to Aria.

"You pwetty, Awia."

For just a brief moment, Shepard saw the slightest of smiles on Aria's face before the annoyed scowl returned to her face.

"Let me go check on dinner real quick." Shepard gave Aria another big smile. "Look after our guest for me until I return, Bene."

When Shepard left the room, Aria gave Benezia a smile.

"You are pretty yourself, little one."

"How old awe you?"

"Very old. And how old are you?"

"Eighteen!" Bene replied proudly while holding up two fingers.

"I assume you mean months because you are very short if you are eighteen years old."

Benezia just smiled widely at Aria before she got an idea. She sat down on Aria's lap again and then slid off until she was on the ground. She then took Aria's hand and started tugging on it.

"Come on. I show you my animals in my woom."

Aria sighed but she reluctantly got up, put down her drink and allowed herself to be lead. When Shepard came back out, she found the living room empty. After looking downstairs with no luck, she made her way upstairs and found the two in Benezia's room. Benezia was pointing out her different stuffed animals to Aria who was trying her best to be patient despite the fact that Benezia was speaking to her nonstop in a combination of real words and words that only Benezia could understand. Benezia finally picked up a stuffed baby Krogan and gave it to Aria.

"Fow you!"

Despite herself, Aria couldn't help but smile as the toy was handled to her. She knelt down so that she could look at Benezia.

"Thank you but you can keep it. I already have a pet Krogan. I don't see many Thessian animals here. And why don't you have a fish tank with Thessian fish in it? Every young asari should have a fish tank."

"Fish tank?"

Before Aria could respond, Benezia saw her father standing in the door and started running to her. Aria quickly stood up and affected an extra annoyed scowl on her face.

"Really Shepard. When you invited me here, you didn't tell me that you wanted me to babysit your spawn."

Shepard swooped up Benezia and settled her on a hip.

"I think my 'spawn' likes you, Aria. What about it, Bene. Do you like your Aunt Aria?"

"I like Awia. She nice!"

Shepard laughed at the look of outrage on Aria's face.

"That's exactly the word I would use to describe Aria, sweetheart. Nice." Shepard looked at Aria. "Come on Queen of Nice, dinner is ready."

Shepard thought that dinner went well and Liara, true to her word, was polite but not friendly and there was a definite tension in the air. Aria did seem to enjoy the meal. Shepard had made sure to prepare an expensive fish for the main course knowing Aria's love of the expensive. Shepard suggested that the three asari go into the living room while she cleaned up. After a while, Shepard peeked her head out of the kitchen to check on things and saw something alarming. Benezia was happily zoned out on the floor watching the vid screen with rapt attention but both asari women were standing, quietly talking together. They both had their arms crossed and Shepard saw Aria smirk at the same time that Liara started to glow with biotics. Uh oh. The dishes can wait. Shepard hurried into the living room.

"Hello again, Ladies. You know Aria, I wanted to show you something in my office. Would you care to join me?"

For a moment, Aria didn't move. Her eyes stayed on Liara while the smirk remained on her face. Finally, she moved towards Shepard. When they arrived at Shepard's office, Shepard shut the door behind them.

"Okay, I can see why you left Thessia. This place is oppressive. I'm up to my eyeballs in red tape and I've got paperwork coming out my ass just to try to get citizenship."

"And you're telling me this why?"

"I've tried to get a permit to have guns and I've been denied several times. Can you imagine? They are denying _me _the right to have guns? Like I'm some kind of scared amateur that will shoot someone by mistake."

"I knew that you wanted something from me. You always need something from me. You would never invite me over here simply for dinner."

"I invited you over here mostly for dinner but I could use a favor as well. I need some guns. I assume that you have ways of smuggling things onto Thessia?"

"It makes sense, really. Without biotics, you have been neutered if you can't have any guns. It's kind of sad really. "

"So, you'll get me some pistols. Maybe a shotgun and an assault rifle or two? I need to be able to protect myself and my family."

"And why would I be interested in helping you with this problem?"

"Because we're friends, Aria. Because I helped you get your baby Omega back?"

"That was in the past, Shepard. Why should I risk pissing off the matriarchs because of something that happened in the past?"

"Do you always have to be so mercenary? How about because you never know when you might need my help in the future."

Aria smirked at Shepard. "But you're a, what is that human term, housewife now. What possible use could you be to me now or ever?"

"Access, for one thing. I may just be a housewife but I'm a housewife who can call just about anyone in the galaxy and they will take my call. You never know when that might come in handy."

"I'll consider your request, Shepard."

"Good. Consider fast." Shepard smiled as she changed the subject. "So, what did you think about Benezia? Cutest kid you've ever seen, right."

"I don't care about your spawn, Shepard. She has that same stupid, open smile that you do. I hope for her sake, she has her mother's brains and she isn't as dumb as you are."

"Say what you will, Aria but I can tell that you bonded."

"Okay. That's the end of this ridiculous conversation. I'll be leaving now."

"Come on, Aria. One more drink before you leave."

Aria reluctantly agreed. The three women had a couple more drinks and everyone seemed to be having a good time, talking and watching Benezia play. Even Aria seemed to be more relaxed. After another drink, Aria's mood seemed to change and Shepard found her staring at Benezia playing on the floor.

"Let me ask you a question, Shepard. You really killed Kai Leng, didn't you?"

Shepard looked at Aria quizzically.

"Yes. The bastard. Did you know him?"

"Not directly. How did he die?"

"He died with my omni-blade twisted in his gut. He died painfully, bleeding out on the floor. He died knowing he had failed. I never enjoyed killing but he was one of the exceptions."

"Good. Thank you, Shepard."

Suddenly, Aria got to her feet, walked to the door and left without another word. Shepard looked at Liara with a shocked expression on her face.

"What was that all about? Why did she just leave like that?"

Liara shrugged. "I have no idea though she was always one for dramatic entrances and exits."

Several days later, Shepard was at home with Benezia in the middle of a work day when the door buzzed. Shepard opened it and had a badge shoved in her face.

"Detective Anola, Armali City Police. I have a warrant here to search your premises for illegal guns."

"What? Let me see that!"

Detective Anola gave Shepard the datapad with warrant on it. Two other detectives moved into the apartment and started sweeping the apartment with weapon-detection scanners.

"So, you just break into anyone's home to search them for illegal guns?"

"Of course not. We received a tip that you tried to procure guns illegally. We are obligated to follow up on that tip."

"Who?"

"It was anonymous."

"So you ransack people's private homes based on anonymous tips?!"

"We will just be scanning your rooms. Nothing will be 'ransacked'." The Detective used air quotes. Shepard hated air quotes.

About twenty minutes later, the police had finished their search and were headed out the door.

"I told you so! And I accept your apology for the appalling invasion of my privacy."

Fuming, Shepard stormed into her office and called Aria. No response. Shepard tried again and there was still no response. About an hour later, Shepard received a typed message from Aria: 'It would appear that not everyone takes the call from The Housewife when she calls.' Shepard could almost see Aria's smug smile in her mind's eye.

The next day, Shepard again heard the door buzz in the middle of the day. She opened it and a couple asari movers entered the apartment carrying a large crate using their biotics.

"Where do you want it?" one of them asked.

"Where do I want what?" Shepard responded.

"The aquarium."

"I didn't order any aquarium."

The mover handed Shepard the datapad with her address on it. Shepard handed it back.

"Yes, that's this address but there must be some mistake. We never ordered an aquarium."

"Look human, I just get paid to deliver things and my biotics are fading. Are you Benezia T'Soni?"

"No. That's my daughter."

"Well then, where does she want it?"

"She's not even two. I can guarantee that she didn't order this!"

"Okay. I guess that means that we leave it right here by the door."

"No. Bring it upstairs, second room on the right."

After the delivery women had left, Shepard angrily placed another call to Aria. There was no answer. Another hour later, Shepard received another message from Aria: 'It appears that someone is still not accepting calls from The Housewife.'

A couple days after that, Shepard received a few medium-sized crates at the apartment. They were addressed to Shepard with instructions that it was only to be delivered during the day. Shepard opened the crates and smiled widely at the contents. Five pistols, two shotguns and two assault rifles filled the crates. Shepard would have to find secret hiding places for these weapons and would now have to invest in some shielding that would hide weapon's signatures in case the police poked around again but she was still pleased to have the weapons. She called Aria again. This time, Aria answered.

"Oh, taking my call today, are we?"

"I'm busy unlike you Shepard. I don't have time for housewives and their mundane problems."

"You called the police on me. I have a new theory about you. Other people, normal people, sometimes let their negative emotions get carried away and they do something bad that they later regret. So, to make up for it, they have to do something nice to balance out the bad, to feel like themselves again. But you, you're the opposite. You sometimes let your positive feelings get the better of you, like that aquarium that you sent for Benezia. She loves it by the way. Bedtimes are easier now because I think it helps her fall asleep. Anyway, you do something good and then you start to feel that incongruous feeling so you feel the need to do something shitty or destructive like calling the cops on your good friend."

Aria looked down at her nails, a bored look on her face. Suddenly, she looked up.

"Oh I'm sorry. Are you finally done with your psych bullshit? You realize that people have been trying to figure out Aria T'Loak for centuries."

"I would have appreciated a heads up about the aquarium. We had to buy a VI to feed the damn fish because Benezia is too young to look after them herself and if they had to rely on me to remember to feed them, they'd all be dead."

"Really Shepard? Should you be having another child if you can't even keep fish alive? How many months along is she, anyway?"

"How did you know that Liara was pregnant? Did she tell you?"

"She didn't need to." Aria smirked. "Let's just say that pregnant asari can become a tad possessive of their bondmates."

"You know what you need, Aria? A good man or woman at your side to take the edges off your personality."

"Maybe you're right, Shepard. Liara is good-looking, intelligent and now that I've seen her feisty side, maybe I'll just take your good woman."

Shepard crossed her arms and scowled at Aria.

"Over my dead body, Aria."

"Exactly! Tick-tock, Shepard."

And with another smirk, Aria cut the call.


	56. Chapter 56

Shepard and Liara were standing in the kitchen of their apartment. Both women had their arms crossed over their chest. Both were staring at a large stainless steel box that stood in the middle of the room.

"I don't know why you are being so stubborn about this, love."

"I'm not being stubborn, Liara. It doesn't even matter that much to me. I think it just makes the most sense to have the dishwasher near the sink. If you put it in the corner, how will you rinse the dishes before you put them in?"

"This is the latest model of dishwasher. Unless you will be eating cement for dinner, you don't need to rinse the dishes off first. Just throw them in there and they come out clean."

"That's bullshit, Liara. If there's one thing I can't stand in this galaxy, it's when the dishes come out with spots on them. And there's no need for it. You rinse the dishes off before you put them in and they come out spotless. It takes a few seconds."

"Really, Shepard? Spotty dishes are the one thing that you can't stand in the galaxy? Not slavers, or murderers but spots on dishes?"

"You know what I mean, Liara. It's a pet peeve. You have them too. Like how you can't stand how I drive too fast in the skycar. Even though I don't."

"That's not a 'pet peeve'. That has to do with the safety of my bondmate and my child, not to mention myself. Oh and how about the 13 traffic tickets that you received but didn't even tell me about? I'm not having that big, ugly thing in the middle of my kitchen!"

"Jesus Liara! We're fighting over a goddamn dishwasher. Why do you even care? You don't cook or do the dishes as much as I do anyway!"

Now, Liara's face flushed a darker blue and her mouth grew tighter. "What is that supposed to mean? Are you trying to imply that I don't do enough around the house?"

Shepard sighed and threw her arms up towards the ceiling. "That's not what I'm saying at all! I'm merely pointing out that I will be the one who uses it the most so why can't I put it where I want?"

"Because it's my home and my kitchen too! Why should you get to dictate where my dishwasher goes?"

"Oh I see. Now it's your dishwasher, right? Because you're the rich one? You're the one who makes the money. You're the one whose mother left you a bazillion credits that you didn't even tell me still existed, by the way. So, you get to dictate where the appliances go? Because everything is really yours anyway?"

"Goddess Shepard. Would you listen to yourself! I thought you said that we were a family and that everything we have, we have together? Now, you are dividing things up in to 'mine' and 'yours'? Are you really that insecure?"

"In my mind, everything is ours. I'm just not so sure that you feel the same way."

"Of course I do! And because everything is ours, I think that I have as much right to decide where things go as you do. This isn't the Normandy, Shepard. You don't get to decide how everything goes. You don't give orders here!"

"Oh, now I see. This is really some kind of delayed reaction to the inequality in our relationship when we met? So now, we have to do things your way because by necessity, I was in charge during the War? Let me tell you something. I would have swapped with you in an instant because the pressure was always on me. Crushing pressure."

"What are you even rambling on about now? I thought we were talking about the stupid dishwater? And now you're talking about the pressure you were under during the War? Are you resentful of me?! Like I put more pressure on you?"

"Of course not, Liara. You're the one that brought it up! I just want to place the dishwasher in the place where it obviously, logically goes! You see the space next to the sink? Why do you think that's there?!"

"Oh, now I see. I'm just the illogical pregnant woman now? You know what? This whole discussion is just illogical. I don't even really care about the dishwasher that much."

A small smile flashed on Shepard's face and she put her hands on the dishwasher to tip it up. She started to move the machine as she said, "Okay. If you don't care about it, I'll just move it over…"

Suddenly, a blue energy enveloped the dishwasher, preventing it from being moved.

"Don't you dare! I didn't agree to move it over near the sink!"

"Really Liara? We're going to play tug of war with the fucking dishwasher now?" Shepard brought her fist down on top of the dishwasher in frustration and moved to leave the kitchen. "You need to chill out. Bene and I are going to the park!"

Shepard walked over to Benezia who was in the living room, playing on the floor. Shepard muttered under her breath. "Crazy…illogical…stupid. Come on Bene. Let's go to the park and leave the crazy pregnant lady alone for a while."

Liara called in from the kitchen, "I heard that! You will kindly refrain from talking to my daughter about me in that disrespectful way."

"Your daughter? She's my daughter too! And we are going to the park without you!"

"Good! Don't rush back on my account."

A couple weeks later, Shepard and Liara were excitedly planning for the arrival of Garrus and Tali who were visiting them from Palaven before making the cross-galaxy trip to Rannoch, where the couple would be living for the next six months. Shepard and Liara were excited for them to visit not only to see their dear friends in person once again but also because they would be their first real guests to their new home since they arrived on Thessia. Aethyta, most decidedly, did not count. Aria kind of counted but it wasn't the same as having members of their old crew in their house for the first time.

Shepard was rushing to put the finishing touches on the meal that they had ordered for their guests. Shepard now felt confident in the kitchen and even Liara admitted that she had become a good cook but because she wouldn't even be able to taste any meal that Garrus and Tali could eat, they agreed that it would be best if they just ordered in from a local turian restaurant instead.

Meanwhile, Liara had been running around making sure that the house was in order. She then sat down on the floor and helped Benezia with her 'Welcome to Thessia' sign. Liara had written the words in Standard Asari, English, Fleet Quarian and Standard Turian while her daughter was left the task of decorating it, which mostly meant a lot of very colorful squiggles in crayon and marker.

There was a buzz at the door and the three knew that their guests had finally arrived. Liara rushed to get the sign attached to the wall as Benezia excitedly ran in to the kitchen to get her father. Once Liara had attached the sign, she smoothed her dress and went to open the door as Shepard and Benezia entered the living room.

The door opened to reveal the 'smiling' faces of Garrus and Tali. Liara hugged first Tali and then Garrus.

"It's so good to see you both! Welcome to the T'Soni-Shepard residence."

"It's good to see you too, Liara. Where is my niece?" Tali asked. Tali spotted Benezia and knelt down as she approached. "Well hello there, sweetie. Do you remember your Aunt Tali?"

In response, Benezia squealed and ran into Tali's open arms with so much force that she nearly knocked the slight quarian over. After giving her a tight squeeze, she lifted Benezia and brought her up to face Garrus. "Do you remember your Uncle Garrus?"

In response, Benezia squealed again and lurched into Garrus who took her into his arms and gave her a hug. Benezia looked into his face for a moment and then gave him a sweet kiss on his mandibles.

"Well, hello there, little one. You're still the cutest little girl in the galaxy."

"She must remember you. If she didn't, there's no way she would kiss that ugly mug", Shepard joked.

"We all know that you're just jealous because all the women always ignored you, Shepard and went for me." Garrus then put Benezia down and smiled at her again. "We've got something for our little girl. Close your eyes, Bene."

Once Benezia closed her eyes, Garrus ducked back outside the door and brought in a very large and very pink stuffed hanar.

"Open your eyes Benezia."

Benezia opened her eyes and squealed again seeing the toy as she threw herself on top of it. Shepard sighed and rubbed her neck.

"Seriously, we need a room just for all the toys that she gets from everyone. Just last week, Wrex sent her a gigantic pyjak. I think it's even bigger than a real pyjak. You are all spoiling my daughter."

"Just be happy that Wrex didn't send her an actual pyjak. Or worse."

After dinner, everyone just naturally drifted into the kitchen as Shepard cleared the dishes and started piling them into the sink. Liara got everyone a refresher on their beverage of choice as Shepard began washing the dishes. Garrus leaned against the large dishwasher in the middle of the room.

"Okay. I'll bite. Why are you washing the dishes by hand when you have a dishwasher sitting right here in the middle of the kitchen? Don't tell me that that great Commander Shepard couldn't figure out how to hook it up." Garrus smirked. Shepard's and Liara's eyes briefly met before Shepard finally broke the silence.

"There is a small disagreement as to where the dishwasher should go. You're both reasonable people. Let me ask you. Where would you put the dishwasher?"

Shepard stood aside so that both their guests could see the hole in the countertop beside the sink as she smiled and looked at them expectantly. Garrus and Tali looked at each other before Garrus responded.

"Well, um, hmmm. I should think it would be best to put it beside the sink."

Shepard smiled at him slightly as she waited for Tali's response. Liara glared at Garrus as Tali shifted nervously on her feet and crossed her arms.

"I don't know. It's kind of ugly. I think it would be better to get it out of the way. Put it in the corner and the room will have better flow."

At that Shepard glared at Tali and threw one of the pots into the sink.

"And after I gave you back your homeworld", Shepard murmured.

"Shepard!" Liara and Garrus both said simultaneously.

Shepard looked at Tali. "I'm sorry Tali. I shouldn't have said that. I just expected a little more loyalty from you."

"Are we still talking about the dishwasher?" Tali asked, her voice a mixture of annoyance and confusion.

There was an awkward silence that Benezia broke. She went over to Tali and started to tug on her hand.

"Come see my woom!"

"That's a good idea, sweetie! I'd love to see your room and I bet your Uncle Garrus would too. That way your crazy parents can have another discussion about kitchen appliance placement."

As Benezia was leading her guests away from the kitchen, Tali whispered to Garrus.

"So, they have obviously gone insane."

"I don't know. You did yell at me for half an hour for leaving the toilet seat cover up the other day."

"That's just common courtesy, Garrus. No one wants to see the toilet and it goes without saying that if you sprinkle then it is up to you to clean up after yourself. Once we get to Rannoch, if you want me to go without my suit in the house, we will have to keep it spotless."

"Right." Garrus rolled his eyes. "I have an idea. I'm going to challenge Shepard to another shooting match tomorrow. You know how shooting things always makes her feel better."

"Good idea. And I'll ask Liara to take me to the Guildhall for a tour. I'm sure that will make her feel better."

Garrus looked at Tali with a look of concern.

"Are you sure that you want to do that? You know how Liara tends to go on sometimes when it's something she's really interested in. With a place like the Guildhall, we might never see you again."

Tali sighed. "Sometimes, to be a good friend, we have to be patient and put ourselves at risk. Besides, I'll probably end up knowing more about asari history than any quarian in the history of the galaxy."

"You're a brave woman, Tali'Zorah."

The next day, Shepard explained to Garrus how they could not go to the shooting range because only those with valid weapons permits could use the ranges. Shepard then made the excuse that she and Garrus were going out for a few rounds in the Armax Arena. Instead, she loaded a bag up with her new goodies from Aria and flew the skycar many kilometers away from Armali or any other settlements in an interior, desert area.

"I've been waiting to try these bad boys out and I staked out this area weeks ago. No one and nothing around for kilometers. Targets are already set up and I think you're going to like these targets. "

"I can't believe they won't let you have weapons." To a turian, the idea of private citizens not being able to arm themselves was completely foreign. "I can't believe they won't let everyone have weapons. No wonder Thessia fell so quickly during the war."

"Long standing practice on Thessia. They say that their low crime rate is proof that it's a good practice but come on, I'm a high-profile person. I need to be able to protect myself and my family. My almost kidnapping just highlighted that."

"Does Liara know? About the illegal weapons, I mean?"

Shepard just smiled. "I need to have some secrets, Garrus."

"Uh huh. Won't she find out during…you know, the mind thing?"

"Well, when we do 'the mind thing', I'm not exactly thinking about weapons. But yes, sooner or later, she'll find out or she'll find out that I'm deliberately hiding something from her. Hopefully, she'll understand. I'm a soldier, for Christ's sake!"

Shepard took a large assault rifle out of the bag that she carried out of the skycar. She then gave it to Garrus and then lovingly took the other rifle out of the bag.

"Look at this thing, Garrus. The newest and greatest Typhoon. Isn't she a beaut?"

"No fair. Yours is bigger than mine. And how can we have a shooting contest with assault rifles? Don't you have any sniper rifles?"

Shepard gave Garrus a lopsided grin. "Mine has always been bigger than yours, Garrus. And I was lucky to get my hands on the guns that I did. It's kind of hard to argue that I need a sniper rifle for self-defense."

"But you need a machine gun for self-defense? How are we going to do this? I assume the first one to obliterate the target wins? You have the advantage because your gun is bigger."

Shepard gave Garrus another lopsided grin. "How many times have I told you Garrus, it's not the size of your gun but how you use it? Just pick a target and hit it."

Garrus sighed. "I keep walking right into the same bad joke…

Garrus brought the rifle up to his shoulder, sighted a target and pulled the trigger. The target exploded.

"Well, alright! There we go! Explosive targets, I love it."

Shepard and Garrus both laughed.

"My turn."

Shepard fired at the next target and it too exploded. This went on for a few targets until Garrus held up his hand.

"Quiet! You hear that?"

Shepard cocked her ear until finally, she heard sirens. Not long after, she saw flashing lights on the horizon.

"Oh shit! How did they find us out here? Quick, get back in the skycar! I can't get caught with these weapons! The cops have already been to the house."

"Maybe they have some sort of global shot spotter? These asari sure are serious about gun control. Are you sure making a run for it is the best idea?"

"Just hurry the fuck up!"

Shepard threw the guns back into the skycar and tried to wait patiently as Garrus bent his large frame over to climb back into the car. Shepard looked at the rapidly approaching police car and lost her patience, putting a boot to Garrus's bony behind until he sprawled into the car. She then started the engine and had the car in the air before she even finished closing the door. Shepard then took off as fast as the skycar would go. She knew she would never outrun the police skycar so she needed to get to the largest big city so that they could disappear in the crowds. Shepard gunned it for Dassus, the nearest city away from the direction the police car was coming from.

Shepard pushed the skycar as fast as it would go as they reached the outskirts of the city. The car began to shake. She directed the car towards downtown, coming in above the taller buildings there, the police skycar now within 200 meters of them. Shepard weaved in between buildings in an effort to elude their pursuers. Finally, she completed a 180 degree turn around a building, dropped down into a travel lane full of other vehicles and applied the brakes until they were travelling the same speed as the other vehicles. The police skycar lost sight of which car they were pursuing and slowed.

"Spirits! I had forgotten what a dangerous driver you are."

"You mean, good driver Garrus. Did you see how we got away from them? Fine piece of driving there. Textbook. Let's go find a bar for a bit."

"I could certainly use a drink now. Tell me again why we did that. Wouldn't it have been easier to simply say 'Sorry Officers, we were just doing some target practice'?"

"But then they would have taken my guns away. Besides, what fun would that have been?"

Tali and Liara were standing in the middle of the Guildhall. The museum/research center was not yet open to the public but many of the planned exhibits were already built. They had been there for hours and were only about half way through the exhibit space. Liara had been talking nonstop for the last few hours but Tali had not said anything for almost half an hour. Liara didn't notice. Tali felt her stomach rumbling.

"You're going to like this one, Tali." Liara opened a case and pulled out a large, bulky datapad that looked ancient. Liara touched the old device reverently. "This is one of the original flight check lists from the Maiden Voyage. Just think, over 1600 years ago, the asari who took the first interstellar flights into the galaxy for this cycle handled this datapad."

"Liara…"

Liara apparently didn't hear Tali and continued. "Of course, it wasn't until 580 BCE that we found the Citadel but the Maiden Voyage was the start of it all. As I'm sure you know, the entire ship is preserved in a museum in Dassus where it was built but we did manage to get our hands on some of the original artifacts from that fascinating chapter in asari history. Can you imagine how they must have felt? All the unknowns that they faced? They didn't even know if the ship would blow up when it hit the relay. It was an incredibly important time for the asari. Not only did it allow us to travel beyond our system but it had other far-reaching consequences for Thessia as well. For the first time in our history, we came to think of ourselves as Thessians and asari and not Armalians or…"

"Liara!"

Liara blinked at Tali in surprise.

"I'm sorry, Tali. Did you have a question?"

"No. We are going to lunch now."

"Oh. I…see." Liara quickly put the datapad back in the locked case. Liara looked a little embarrassed. "I'm sorry Tali. I must be boring you to tears,"

"Not at all Liara. I actually enjoyed it for the first couple hours but I think 80,000 years of asari history is enough for one day." Tali noticed the slightly hurt look on Liara's face. "Besides, we need to save some for the next time I visit Thessia. And I really would like to visit Dassus to take a look at the Maiden Voyage someday. I'm curious to see how your early engineers solved the problem of heat diffusion in those early core engines. It took us quarians forever to figure out that problem."

Liara's face beamed with excitement. "Of course, how could I be so dense? We have copies of the original tech manuals for the Maiden Voyage! I can show them to you right now!"

"Liara?"

"Yes, Tali?"

"Lunch time."

Liara smiled at Tali and took her arm. "I'm sorry. I get a little carried away sometimes."

Tali laughed. "Yes you do, but it's great to see my old nerdy little friend again."

"Any place in particular you would like to go for lunch?"

"Somewhere where they serve quarian nutrient paste and alcoholic drinks. Stiff alcoholic drinks."

Shepard and Garrus had been drinking for a couple hours and were both starting to get buzzed. It was about the time of their eighth drink that the 'girl talk' began.

"So Garrus. You and Tali?"

"What about me and Tali?

"Are you going to formalize your relationship finally? Maybe settle down and start having babies? I heard that the scientist have found a way to combine turian and quarian DNA so that couples like you can have babies together."

"I just don't know Shepard. Because you and Liara are pregnant again, Tali mentions the word 'baby' at least once a day. Thanks a lot for that. I'm just not sure if we can make it work."

"Oh come on Garrus. What's the problem? Are you chicken, Big Bird?"

"Funny. I have responsibilities on Palaven. She wants to be on Rannoch. She says she doesn't need to be on Rannoch but I just know that it's really where she wants to be. It's the only place where she might be able to live without her mask eventually."

"Can't you just divide your time like you have been doing?"

"Her body will need time to acclimate to Rannoch in order to maybe get to the point where the suit isn't necessary. Any time spent away from Rannoch just prolongs the process."

"Well, you can always just retire like you said you were going to during the war. Remember? Retire to the sands of Rannoch instead of the beach that you talked about."

Garrus rolled his eyes. "I'm a turian. We don't just retire young. And I can see how well it's worked out for you. It's only been, what, seven months and I get a strong sense that you are going out of your mind."

"That's not true, Garrus. I love watching Benezia every day."

Garrus gave Shepard a look. Shepard continued.

"Okay. I'm not saying that it's not an adjustment. God, I was so busy during the War, I barely knew where I was half the time. And then after the War, I was working sometimes 18 hours a day trying to organize the rebuilding and make sure that everyone had a place to live and didn't starve and didn't kill each other. It's a little hard to go from that to just watching a toddler every day. But it's worth it Garrus. I wouldn't change a goddamn thing. I want to be there for my kids as they grow up. I want them to know the real me and not just what they get from the extranet."

"So how are you and Liara doing?"

"Good. It sounds corny but I love her more every day."

Garrus chuckled. "You're right. That's beyond corny. I gotta ask then, what's with the dishwasher?"

Shepard ponders the question for a moment.

"I don't know exactly. All I know is that this is one thing that I can't back down from. I have to have my way on the dishwasher or I feel like I will lose my very soul."

"That sounds…reasonable." Garrus rolled his eyes again.

"I don't know, exactly, but do you know what a scapegoat is?"

"I'm not even sure what a regular goat is never mind a scape one."

"Well, it's said that every year, this village would attach all their sins onto this goat and then send the poor innocent thing out into the wilderness. It was a way for the villagers to get over their anger and hurt and start to forgive themselves and others so that they could move forward. A good deal for everyone but the goat."

"So you have a scape dishwasher?" Garrus looked confused.

"Maybe, of sorts. Think about it Garrus. Because of circumstances beyond our control, we have already hurt each other and ourselves so much. There's so much baggage. I just know that there is some irrational part of Liara that is still mad at me for killing her mother. Until I had Benezia, I didn't even really understand how strong that bond is."

"So, the dishwasher is for all those things that you are mad about that can't be fixed?"

"Right. There are some things that just happened. It was no one's fault. There is no way to make it better so we just have to try to find a way to live with it. Maybe arguing about the dishwasher lets us deal with those irrational feelings in a relatively non-threatening way."

"Makes sense. It's totally fucked up but it makes sense." Garrus looked at Shepard to see exactly what kind of mood she was in. Garrus cleared his throat. "So Shepard. Tali tells me that Liara told her that you're seeing a therapist. I think it's a good idea, by the way. The shit you had to do and the pressure you were under…"

"Yeah. I still have some nightmares. I'm still having a little trouble dealing with…a decision that I had to make."

Shepard and Garrus are both looking down at their beers instead of at each other. Garrus cleared his throat again.

"You know, if there is ever anything that you want to talk about, I'm here. Anytime. You're my friend and there is nothing you could tell me that would make me think any less of you."

Shepard sighed. Garrus could almost see the conflict on Shepard's face as she decided whether to talk to him or not. Shepard touched her omnitool and a privacy shield sprung out of it, surrounding the booth that they were in with an orange energy that would prevent their voices from travelling.

"You're not going to try to kiss me or anything now, are you?"

Shepard didn't even crack a smile. Instead, she took a deep breath and began to speak.

"You cannot tell anyone what I am about to tell you. It would literally change our history of the Reaper War if it got out."

Shepard began telling Garrus the whole story of what happened on the Citadel. When she was done, she looked over at her friend, trying to catch any reaction that might show on his face. Garrus's face was set in a stony mask. Shepard knew from experience that was what Garrus looked like when he was very angry or upset.

"Are you angry, Garrus?"

"I'm angry with myself. I'm sorry, Shepard. You never should have faced that alone. I wasn't that badly injured. I never should have got back on the Normandy. I should have been the one to take that shot for you."

"Definitely not your fault, Garrus. That's just how it happened. You had a fucking tank explode almost right on top of you. You were injured badly enough that you never even would have made it to the beam."

"Damn. Just should have been me. I should have been the one to take that burden from you. You had too many. I'm a turian and we are just born and raised to accept the losses, accept the collateral damage. You never should have faced that alone."

"I wasn't really alone. I heard all of you telling me what to do in my mind's eye."

"And what did I tell you?"

"I don't want to put words in your mouth now that you're actually here but I heard you tell me to just take the damn shot."

"That's it, Shepard. That's exactly what I would have said. Take the damn shot and blow these fuckers back to hell."


	57. Chapter 57

"So. This is fishing?" Shepard asked herself out loud. She had been out in the small boat for a couple hours with a line in the water. At first, it had been exciting-finding a deserted lake, getting the boat in the water, exploring, getting a line in the water- but now she had just been gently drifting on the small lake for a couple hours and she was getting more than a little bored. She got herself another beer from the cooler pack contemplating what hobby she could take up next, preferably something that produced a little more adrenaline, when she felt a bite on her line. She gently but firmly started reeling in the line until she could see the fish just below the surface. It was huge!

Shepard was very proud of herself as she reeled the fish in and swung the pole over the boat to bring the gasping creature aboard. Just as she reached down to remove the hook from the fish, she felt her legs being swept out from under her. The glowing fish then jumped out of boat and back into the water. A biotic…fish?

Shepard got to her feet and just managed to grab the pole again when the fish started swimming rapidly away. Shepard braced herself against the side of the boat and held onto the pole tightly. There was no way this little bastard was getting away.

After a gallant hour-long fight with the doomed but defiant animal, Shepard returned home with her catch. She proudly held up her find as she entered the apartment.

"It was a mighty battle but I emerged victorious because I am a mighty huntress!" Shepard proclaimed to her bondmate and daughter. "Did you know that even the fish have biotics? How can they control biotics when they have such tiny brains?"

"I told you that before you went." Liara said while examining the fish. She scrunched up her nose. "Oh no. You're not going to eat that are you? That's one of those tasteless fish from that lake northeast from here."

"Of course I'm going to eat it! Especially after all that. This fish gave up its life so that we might have a fresh grilled fish dinner!"

"Well then, you'll be eating it alone because it really is horrible. You'll see what I mean as soon as you taste it."

Shepard returned from the bathroom and threw herself down on the couch. She couldn't remember feeling more sick in her life. She debated whether she should go see a doctor but Liara was at work and there was no one to watch Benezia. Bene was happily sitting at the other end of the couch, watching animated vids and eating her ice cream. Just watching Bene eating the ice cream made Shepard want to vomit again. She also felt cold even though Liara always kept it warmer than Shepard would prefer in their apartment. Shepard felt the nausea threaten to overtake her again and she ran to the bathroom, barely making it before she got sick.

Shepard clung to the top of the toilet and decided that she needed to call Liara. Shepard brought up her omnitool. Liara answered, surprised to hear from Shepard as Shepard never called her at work, preferring to send her messages so that she would not disturb Liara's work.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry to bother you at work, Liara. I feel really sick. I keep throwing up and I think I have a fever. I'm freezing. I can't get warm. Maybe I should go to the doctor...

"You're freezing?!" Liara felt her panic rising. Shepard would not have called unless she felt really sick and if she voluntarily wanted to go to the doctor, it was bad. "I'm coming home, sweetheart. I'll be right there. Just hang on."

Shepard staggered back to the couch and curled up in a ball, pulling a blanket around herself. After her cartoon ended, Benezia finished her ice cream and decided she wanted more. She hopped down from the couch and went to stand before her father's face.

"Daddy, want more eye cweam." Shepard's eyes were closed and there was no response. Benezia gently patted her father's face. "Daddy, wake up." Still the eyes remained closed. Benezia moved her own face closer to Shepard's and spoke louder. "Daddy! Wake up!" There was still no response so Benezia decided that she would just have to help herself.

Liara hurried through the door, calling Shepard's name. No response. Liara ran into the living room and blinked at the sight before her. Shepard was lying on the couch, unconscious. Benezia was sitting on top of Shepard's legs with a spoon in one hand and her other arm wrapped around a large container of now-melted ice cream. There was melted ice cream all over Benezia's face, on Shepard's legs, on the couch and on the blanket. Liara ran over to Shepard and tried to shake her awake.

"Shepard! Wake up!"

There is no response.

"Daddy sleeping", Benezia explained calmly.

"Daddy's sick, Benezia. Go throw that ice cream in the trash immediately!" Benezia slowly got off the couch, tilting the ice cream container in the process and spilling more melted ice cream onto the floor. "Now, Benezia!" Liara punched at her omintool.

"I need emergency medical services here immediately. My bondmate is unconscious. She's a human." Once the ambulance was on its way, Liara punched at her omnitool again.

"Aethyta. I need you to come over here right now and watch Benezia. Shepard's sick."

Aethyta was about to make a sarcastic comment about how Liara should be calling her Dad when she recognized the panic in Liara's voice.

"I'll be right over."

"Please hurry. Shepard's unconscious. The ambulance is on its way." Liara put her hand on Shepard's chest and was relieved to feel a steady beat. Liara put her hand on Shepard's forehead.

"I'll be right there. Don't panic. I'm sure she'll be fine."

"She's burning up. She feels so hot."

Benezia had returned from the kitchen and responding to her mother's panic, started to cry. Liara held her arm out to Benezia and pulled her close while holding Shepard's hand.

"It's okay, sweetie. Daddy will be fine."

Hours later, Liara was pacing in the emergency room waiting area. The last she had heard Shepard was still unconscious and they had ordered her out of the room as they tried to determine exactly what she had contracted. Liara rushed over to the doctor when she entered the waiting area.

"Doctor, how is she?"

"We have managed to get her temperature down a little and have given her some different antibiotics. Her system is apparently being assaulted by several different viruses and bacteria. The problem is we haven't been able to pinpoint exactly which ones."

"I don't understand why this is happening. She got all the required and recommended inoculations before she arrived on Thessia."

"We don't require inoculations for all the different viruses and bacteria that might affect off-worlders, frankly because there are just too many. If she was inoculated for all the major ones we can rule those out. Tell me, has she travelled outside the major cities? Has she visited any of the more rural, remote areas?"

"Yes, she goes into the natural areas all the time to run and to explore. And she just took up fishing. She was just at that small lake about 30 kilometers northeast of here. What was the name?" Liara struggled to remember where Shepard had caught her mighty if tasteless fish.

"Was it Lake Voulkaria?" the doctor asked, a light bulb suddenly going off in her head.

"Yes! That's it! She caught one of those Voulkarian fish. The tasteless ones?"

"Oh Goddess, she didn't eat it, did she?"

"Yes! I told her that it was horrible but she was so proud that she had caught it, that she tried it anyway."

"I have to go run another test. I'll be back as soon as I know anything." The doctor took off running, leaving a distraught Liara behind. Liara felt her omnitool buzz and she answered the call from Aethyta.

"Any news?" Aethyta asked her daughter.

"They have her fever down some but she is still unconscious. They don't know what she has exactly. How could this happen? After all she's been through? After all we've been through. What if she…"

"This is Shepard we're talking about here. She's young, strong and healthy. She's not going to let any bug take her out. She'll be back home driving you crazy in a day or two, mark my words."

"I hope you're right."

"I know I'm right. Don't worry too much. It's not good for the baby you're carrying. And don't worry about Benezia either. You stay there as long as you need."

Liara smiled. "Thanks Dad. I appreciate your help. How is Benezia?"

"She had major diarrhea. I thought she had picked something up until I saw the ice cream all over. I don't know why you two let her have that stuff when it gives her the shits."

"She's her Daddy's girl and they both love their ice cream. Are you sure she's alright?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." Aethyta said sounding insulted. "She shit it all out and now she's running all over again, happy as can be."

"Okay, thanks. I'll let you know if I hear anything."

"Sounds good. And remember what I said about not worrying too much."

"I will. Talk to you later." Liara shut off her omnitool and returned to her worried pacing. After another hour, Liara was ready to storm into the critical care room and demand answers when the doctor returned.

"Ok. We know what your bondmate contracted. Unfortunately, Lake Voulkaria is well known for harboring a particularly dangerous and virulent parasite which if left untreated in the body can lead to death. The good news is that we caught it and are now treating her with anthelmintic. If she were asari, the medicine would kill the parasites in a day or two and they would naturally pass through the body. The not so good news is that before the medicines and the immune system have a chance to knock the parasites out, they affect the brain and cause temporary memory loss and mental regression. Afflicted patients have to be monitored closely as they often forget who they are and revert to a child-like state."

"But you said it's temporary, right? So she should be okay in a day or two?"

"Well, that's the other thing. Humans have only been coming to Thessia for about 30 years or so. There are no records of a human contracting these parasites before. We think that human and asari physiology is similar enough that the anthelmintic that we gave her will kill the parasites but we don't know for certain. She also contracted more common viral and bacterial infections that caused the vomiting but we are sure that the antibiotics that we gave her should take care of those secondary infections. How she will react to the parasite is new territory for us and we can't be certain. We will just have to watch her carefully and see what happens."

Liara only felt even more nervous after hearing the doctor and it showed in her face.

"So, this could kill her?"

"It's a possibility but like I said, we believe that she will be fine. You can stay with her if you like but we've given her a strong sedative so that her body can rest and fight the infection so she will not wake up for at least 24 hours."

Liara gave the doctor a worried smile. "Thank you Doctor."

Liara punched up her omnitool and called Aethyta.

"What's the word?"

"They think that she contracted a parasite from Lake Voulkaria. They are treating it now but they still don't know how a human will react to the treatment."

"What the hell was she doing at Lake Voulkaria? Almost getting kidnapped was not enough to convince her to stick to the more populated areas? How could you not know that Lake Voulkaria was abandoned for that very reason?"

Liara felt herself getting defensive even as tears filled her eyes. "I've been away for decades, remember? How the hell was I supposed to know about Lake Voulkaria?"

Aethyta saw the tears in Liara's eyes and deliberately softened her tone. "You're right. There was no way that you could have known. And I still know that she's going to be fine. I've never met a tougher bitch in my entire thousand years."

"I hope you're right. If you don't mind, I'd like to stay here tonight just in case she needs me. Is Benezia okay?"

"She's fine and I told you that I'll stay with Benezia." Aethyta paused. "And I don't think that I need to remind you that you are pregnant. You need to take care of yourself. You need to eat and sleep."

"I will. I'll call you if there are any developments."

"Talk to you later, Kid."

Hours later, Liara had fallen asleep in the chair beside Shepard's bed. Shepard lay motionless on the bed, her breathing deep. When the nurse came in to check on Shepard, she gently touched Liara's shoulder.

"Excuse me, Maiden T'Soni. Are you sure you wouldn't like to take a nap in one of our dormitory rooms? It's available to all friends and family of our patients. Ms. Shepard here will not be waking up for at least another twelve hours."

"It's Mrs. T'Soni-Shepard and I'm fine."

"Of course, my apologies but maybe you should at least go pick up some food? I've heard that you are pregnant and you really should be eating regularly."

"Did my Father call you?"

The asari seemed to debate with herself whether she should tell the truth or not.

"All I know is that some matriarch keeps calling me asking for updates and harassing me to look in on you. I don't want any trouble from any matriarch and she's going to keep calling until you go eat something so you'd be doing me a favor. Your Bondmate really won't be up for hours yet and she is hooked up to our computers which monitor for any change in condition."

Liara sighed. The nurse and her father were right. She had not had anything to eat since she got to the hospital and she had a responsibility to take care of herself and Shepard's unborn daughter. Liara leaned over and kissed Shepard's forehead.

"Okay. I'm going down to the cafeteria to get something. Please let me know if there is any change."

Shepard's body felt weak and her brain felt sluggish. She opened her eyes and it became obvious that she was in some sort of hospital. She tried to remember how she got there but couldn't. She tried to remember who she was. She knew that she should know both these basic facts but it just wouldn't come to her. Shepard heard someone at the door and she shut her eyes again. The voice that she heard was female.

"How are you, Admiral Shepard? I know that you're awake. You might as well open your eyes. Goddess only knows why you are up so early."

Shepard opened her eyes and what she saw made her blood run cold. It was not a woman who was talking to her but some kind of thing. It was shaped like a human but it was blue-skinned and instead of hair, it had some kind of tentacles coming out of its head at weird angles. Humanity had just discovered that it was not alone in the universe but what was this alien doing on Earth? Why had they captured her? And who was this Shepard? Was that her name? Why couldn't she remember who she was?

The nurse saw the look of confusion and fear in her patient's eyes. The doctor had told her that the parasite that her patient was afflicted with caused mental confusion and regression. The nurse smiled and put her hand on Shepard's arm.

"It's okay. You're going to be just fine."

Shepard acted on instinct. She grabbed the alien's arm with her other arm and pulled the alien across her chest until she could put it in a headlock.

"Where am I? Why have you brought me here?" Shepard demanded.

To her credit, the hapless nurse managed to stay mostly calm as she tried to answer Shepard's questions.

"You are at Armali Main Hospital. You caught a bad bug and you are very ill. Your bondmate brought you here. If you let me go, I'll go get a doctor who can explain everything to you."

Shepard blinked in surprise. She couldn't remember being sick but she felt so weak. What the strange alien was telling her could be true but where is Armali Hospital? She had never heard of it. What if the aliens were the ones to make her sick? What did they want from her?

"I want to get out of here and you're going to help me. How do I get to the door?"

"I don't think that's a good idea. You are very sick and your bondmate is very worried about you. Do you want to see your bondmate? I can bring you to her."

Shepard had no idea what a bondmate was but reasoned that maybe that was the alien who had captured her. Shepard kept the nurse in a headlock as she slowly stood up from the bed.

"Move! Take me to the door and I won't hurt you."

The alien started walking through the door to Shepard's room and continued down the hall. The other nurses in the ward saw them walking by and one of them hit the alarm. A few others moved in front of the pair. Shepard began to panic as she saw more aliens in the room.

"Get back or I'll hurt your friend here. Just let me go."

One of the older nurses moved forward, talking to Shepard in a soothing voice.

"You don't want to do that. You are very ill. You are not yourself right now and you need our help. No one here wants to hurt you. Please, just let Nurse Agathe go. We can help you."

Shepard started moving towards the only door that left the ward but before she could reach it, more aliens streamed through it. Some of them appeared to have club-like weapons in their hands. Shepard moved backwards again and moved over to an open window on one of the walls. Shepard briefly looked over her shoulder and out the window. She appeared to be on the second floor. She might be able to jump out and land safely but she might not either.

"I want out of here. Let me go or I swear, I'll hurt her."

Two of the aliens with the weapons moved forward slowly. Their fists were glowing!

"Admiral Shepard. You are not yourself right now. Don't do anything that you're going to regret." One of them said to her as they moved closer.

Why do they keep calling me Shepard? Is that really my name? And the other name sounded like a military term. Maybe humans were at war with these aliens and she had been captured? If so, it was her duty to escape. The aliens moved closer to Shepard. Two of the aliens had fists that were glowing with a blue energy. There was no way that Shepard could fight them all but maybe, if she jumped, she would be able to escape. Shepard made her decision. Suddenly, she shoved the nurse out of her arms and into the aliens that had been moving towards her. She then hooked a leg over the window sill and jumped, hitting the ground with a roll. Her ankle felt a little sore but it wasn't bad so she took off running into the night. She had no idea where she was going to go except away from the building that she had been in.

Liara was livid when she returned from the cafeteria. The Hospital Administrator was bravely facing her ire while her Assistant was desperately trying to contact their attorneys. Losing a patient was always difficult and a potential for lawsuits. Literally losing a patient who was one of the most famous people in the galaxy was a nightmare.

"It's unbelievable! How did your incompetent staff let her get away?! She was supposed to be sedated for 24 hours!"

"We are doing everything we can. We informed the police as soon as it happened and she might have already been found. She did hold one of our nurses captive and then she leaped out a 2nd story window. We don't know why she woke up from the sedative early. We are investigating."

"That's a lie and you know it! She woke up early because someone made a mistake! Someone on your staff. And not one of your nurses could have used a simple stasis on her?!"

"We admit no wrong-doing. And as I said, she had captured one of our staff."

At that, Liara's biotics flared. The Administrator briefly wished that the young maiden would lose control and attack her. At least that way, they could countersue when the inevitable lawsuit was filed. The administrator could only hope that the human was as tough as her reputation suggested. If she died, it would be a PR and legal shitstorm of epic proportions.

"You know what? You're all useless!"

Liara left the room and dialed up Aethyta. They needed to find Shepard fast. Liarta could only hope that Aethyta could use her contacts to get the best huntresses on the job as quickly as possible.

When Aethyta finally hung up on her nearly-hysterical daughter, she couldn't help but think that her new daughter-in-law was a complete pain in the ass. Aethyta cared about Shepard, even loved her, but she couldn't understand why she couldn't just be normal. Since arriving on Thessia less than a year ago, she'd almost gotten herself kidnapped, had ran off in the middle of the night half out of her mind, had planted a virus that took over almost all the government computers, had received several tickets for speeding and dangerous driving and now she had contracted some rare parasite that caused her to run away AGAIN half out of her mind. Aethyta was pretty sure that Shepard would survive the parasites but with her mental functioning affected, she could be a danger to herself and others. Aethyta started calling in the professionals. First things first but after this crisis had been averted, Aethyta thought that maybe she would have that talk about Shepard that the other matriarchs had been asking for after all.

It was easy to stay hidden while it was still dark but when the sun came up on this strange world, it became much more difficult. Apparently, she was in a large city and there were skycars flying everywhere and people walking everywhere as well. Shepard still couldn't remember who she was but she felt comfortable in the city, she didn't remember why. She reasoned that she had to get off the streets to avoid being seen. She needed to find some place to hide while she figured out what was going on.

Shepard snuck through the open back door to a lower level apartment and listened. She didn't hear voices but if no one was home then why was the door unlocked. She found herself in a kitchen and decided to see if there was anything edible because she was starving. She found something that looked like an apple and took a bit hoping the alien food wouldn't hurt her. It tasted okay. She was just about to look through the refrigerator when she heard someone approaching. Shepard looked for a place to hide in the open kitchen.

"I'm telling you that Theta likes you. You shouldn't be wasting your time with that turian. Why don't you come over tonight and we'll discuss why you insist on…"

The blue alien froze in her tracks when she saw the strange human in her kitchen. Only she recognized this human from the news and the vids. She gasped as she realized who it was.

"Admiral Shepard? Why are you in my kitchen?" The woman held her omnitool up to her mouth to talk. "Not you, Demia. You are never going to believe me but Admiral Shepard is in my kitchen!"

"What is this place and why have I been brought here?" Shepard asked, moving towards the back door again.

The woman listened to her earpiece. "No! I didn't hear that! I haven't watched the news yet today. Call her Bondmate! Okay, bye."

The woman addressed Shepard. "It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you."

"Take me to your leader! I want some answers."

"My leader?" The maiden scratched her crest. "I'm not sure I have one of those. Can I get you something to eat?"

"Just tell me where I am and why I'm here and no one will get hurt."

"You are among friends. No one will hurt you here. You know, I have some leftovers that you might like. Why don't I heat them up for you?"

"But you're an alien. Are you trying to poison me?"

"Now why would I want to do that? I'm a good alien. Hey, I know! Do you want some ice cream? You like ice cream."

"How do you have ice cream and how do you know that I like ice cream?"

"I don't know. I must have read it somewhere."

The asari went to her freezer, took out the ice cream and fixed a bowl for Shepard.

"Go on, it's chocolate."

"I think I'll leave instead."

"I wish you wouldn't but the doors open if you wish."

"You're not going to try to stop me?"

"No."

Shepard sat down and began eating the ice cream. A few minutes later, a buzz came from the front door of the apartment. The asari answered it and allowed Liara to enter.

"Is Shepard here?" Liara asked anxiously.

"Yeah, she's in the kitchen eating ice cream."

"She's eating ice cream?!"

"Yes. In the kitchen."

Liara followed the woman into her kitchen and sure enough, Shepard was at the table eating ice cream. When she saw the new asari enter the room, she stood up with her eyes on the door.

"Who are you? Are you here to recapture me?"

Liara resisted the urge to touch Shepard. Instead, she kept her voice low and calm.

"You are not a prisoner. You are free to go anywhere you like. How are you feeling?"

"Why am I here? Why have you brought me here?"

"You came here because you wanted to come here. You are ill which is why you don't remember. How do you feel?"

"I feel well enough to kick your ass if you take one step closer to me. I'm leaving."

"Okay but I'm going with you. I want to keep you safe."

Shepard left the apartment through the back door and started moving down the street. Liara followed behind her while speaking into her omnitool.

"Just get everyone to back off and leave her alone. No threatening moves."

Shepard continued walking, having no idea where to go. The alien was following her but was keeping her distance. She didn't seem to have any weapons on her. Finally, Shepard had enough of walking aimlessly and she spun around to confront the alien.

"I want to go back home. I want to go back to Earth."

"Okay. You are free to go any time. The next shuttles leave tomorrow but if you go, I go."

"Why? Am I your prisoner?"

"I told you. You got very sick so you don't remember but we are…friends. I would have to go with you because I care about you."

"I'm pretty sure I would remember being friends with an alien if that were true, lady."

"Let me show you something." Liara slowly moved closer to Shepard and then brought up her omnitool. She then punched some buttons and brought up some photos of her and Shepard together. Shepard looked at them suspiciously.

"You could have fixed those to get me to believe you."

"Yes. But it would have been a lot of trouble to go through. It is more probable that the simplest truth is correct. You are ill so you lost your memory and we really are friends. Do you even remember who you are? If this is all a rouse, wouldn't you at least know who you are?"

"Maybe. I've never experienced this before so how would I know? It could be that this is all a plot to get me to trust you to do…whatever."

"I suppose for someone in your situation that would be one possibility. Another more probable possibility is that I am telling you the truth. You are ill and we are friends. If the first is true, you will find out tomorrow because it is very unlikely that I would allow you to return to your home planet if I had some nefarious plan for you. It would behoove you to go along with me until then just in case the second, more probable possibility is true."

"You don't seem like the type of person I'd be friends with. I don't know who I am right at the moment but I'm pretty sure that I don't hang around with people who use the word 'behoove'.

Liara couldn't help but chuckle. "Yes. That is true but I'm an exception."

"So, what now? We buy tickets to Earth tomorrow but what would you suggest that we do now?"

Liara thought about bringing Shepard home but Benezia was there. She didn't know if this Shepard could deal with a tiny, blue 'alien' throwing herself at her calling her 'daddy'. Better to rest somewhere else. Definitely not back at the hospital. She didn't need another course of treatment until tomorrow night and Liara bringing her back to the hospital would just make her hostile and paranoid.

"With your illness, you must feel very fatigued. Perhaps we could get a hotel near the spaceport and rest until tomorrow?"

"Okay. And what do I do for money? I assume that hotels are not free on this planet?"

"They are not. I will pay for it for us."

Hours later, night has fallen and Shepard is lying on the bed in the hotel room. Liara is lying on a small loveseat also in the room since they were unable to get a room with two beds. Shepard is watching a vid about the strange planet when she hears her companion fall to the floor.

"Are you alright?" Shepard asks.

"Yes, I'm fine. I must have fallen asleep and then fallen on the floor."

"You could just sleep in the bed with me. If we are friends, what's the big deal?"

"If you are okay with that, I will."

"Sure. Just keep your hands to yourself and we'll be fine. You on your side and me on my side." Shepard examined her companion in more detail. Shepard smiled. "Though I admit, you're pretty cute for an alien."

Half out of her mind, her identity forgotten and in a strange land surrounded by aliens and Shepard was now flirting with her. Liara didn't know whether to be flattered, amused or disgusted.

"So you've said before."

Hours later, in the twilight between sleep and wakefulness, Shepard found her legs entwined with Liara's, her hand on Liara's breast and Liara's mind pushing into hers. She smiled and lowered her head to begin kissing Liara's neck when she felt Liara's panic through their mental link.

_Shepard! What are you doing?_

_I would think that it would be obvious what we are doing._

Liara sat up and broke the meld.

"You really don't remember the last few days? Seriously?", Liara asked incredulously.

"Remember what? Wait a second, where are we?"

Liara took Shepard's hand and initiated another meld to show Shepard exactly what had transpired in the last few days.

Twenty matriarchs, of all ages and occupations, sat around the large table in the ornate meeting room when Aethyta, fashionably late as always, took her seat. Aethyta looked at the gathered women, the leaders of their respective spheres of influence in Armali. With the possible exception of four of them, she couldn't stand any of them but something needed to be done so she forced herself to attend. Once she was settled, the moderating matriarch called the meeting to order.

"We are here today to decide if a mediation needs to be performed for one of our newest residents and Matriarch Aethyta, a person close to Matron Shepard, has agreed to come here to add her considerable knowledge to the discussion." Matriarch Alecta smiled politely at Aethyta.

"About time", Matriarch Ravana muttered under her breath.

Matriarch Alecta ignored the comment and continued.

"Considering Shepard's recent apparent troubles adapting to her new life here on Thessia, perhaps it would be in everyone's best interests if some action were taken on her behalf."

"Admiral Shepard has been through more than any person should ever have to and now she is suffering for it. I think we need to find her a job so she feels useful again. So she isn't in her own head so much." Aethyta offered.

Ravana smirked. "So, she's crazy. Maybe we should just put her under constant surveillance."

"Absolutely not! She is not crazy. She just has wounds from the War. The kind of fighting she experienced would leave mental wounds on anyone. Though you wouldn't know about that because from what I hear that you got your petrified ass on the first evacuation shuttle away from Thessia."

Ravana bristled and responded coldly. "We needed to make sure that some leaders survived and it was suggested to me that I be one of them. That is the only reason that I left."

"Uh huh. I believe you, Chickenshit."

"Ladies! That's enough! We need to focus on the future and what needs to be done instead of wasting our limited time on what happened in the past. Now Aethyta, are you saying that Shepard is emotionally unstable?"

"I'm saying that she is remarkably mentally stable considering what she went through. She's seen too much blood in her young life and anyone else would have cracked in half by now. She was the tip of the spear during the Reaper War. Hell, at some points, she and her team were the whole damn spear. While the people at this table sat on their asses doing nothing!"

Ravana spoke up again. "While I'm sure some of the overblown exploits attributed to Commander Shepard are true…

"She's an Admiral, Shithead. And she earned that rank the hard way. If it will make you feel better about yourself, I'll give you a promotion. How about General Pisses Her Pants and Runs Away."

Ravana stood up, biotic energy swirling around her body. Aethyta stood up as well.

"Take your best shot, Pissy Pants!"

Matriarch Alecta brought her fist down on the table.

"Ladies! Both of you! That's enough with the insults. If you cannot act like that mature, esteemed matriarchs that you both are, I will have to ask you to leave."

Aethyta shrugged and sat back down. Ravana followed a moment later.

"Now Aethyta. If Shepard wanted a job, wouldn't she simply ask for one?"

"She doesn't know that she wants one and she certainly doesn't know that she needs one. She's young. My granddaughter is her first child and she's never had a family before. She has this fantasy in her head that she is going to be the perfect father and be there for every moment of her daughter's life. She won't get a job voluntarily."

"Let's give her a job with the military…"

Before Ravana could elaborate, Aethyta spoke. "Absolutely not! Nothing to do with the military! She's had enough of that already. She has an almost pathological need to help people. Maybe something to do with the rebuilding efforts? Now how we might convince her to accept such a job is beyond me."

Matriarch Alecta smiled. "I think I might have an idea about that. Now, the type of job…"


	58. Chapter 58

At first Shepard thought it was some kind of a joke. Maybe it was some kind of hidden camera show that caught unsuspecting victims and made fools out of them? But the guns that the two officers had their hands on looked very real.

"You violated the law and we are taking you in. The sign very clearly states that pedestrians are to cross the roadway over there and not here. You crossed here and now we are obligated to arrest you."

"You arrest people for jaywalking?! There aren't even any ground cars in the area so it's not even dangerous."

The two officers still had the palm of their hands on their pistols and they both looked nervous. "The law was broken and you must be arrested. You can appeal our decision to the matriarchs once you are in court."

Matriarchs. Now Shepard saw clearly what this was about. She was being arrested because she humiliated Matriarch Ravana. This was payback, pure and simple. Shepard felt the fury rise in her but she felt Bene's hand in hers. She looked down and saw that Bene was looking up at her trying to decide if she should be afraid or not. Shepard squeezed her daughter's hand and smiled at her. "It's okay, Sweetie. We're just talking to the Officers here."

Shepard looked at the Officers once more. Shepard could tell that they were both young and both nervous. Why didn't she send real Professionals? Did the Matriarch send them to try to get Shepard to try something or did she send them to deescalate what could be a dangerous situation? Shepard knew very well that if the Matriarch wanted her dead, she could order it done and Shepard might not even see it coming in time to stop it. No, this is just a 'friendly' warning: 'I can get to you anytime, anyplace. I can make every day of your life miserable.' Better to just let her have her fun and deliver her message.

"I have my daughter here. Let me bring her home and I'll come into the station tomorrow."

"You will come in now and your daughter will be brought to Protective Services."

"That's ridiculous. My wife works for the Government. My daughter has a perfectly safe home to go to."

"The law is clear. When suspects are arrested with children, the children are brought in to Protective Services."

Shepard remembered Protective Services. It was the last stop before her life on the streets with the streets being preferable. Shepard knew that the programs on Thessia were a lot better than the ones on Earth but there is no way Bene was going to one of those places, not even for one minute.

Shepard walked Benezia over to a bench a few steps away from the Officers while they both reflexively gripped their gun handle tighter.

"Bene, sweetie. I need to talk to these Officers a minute. Can you sit right here for Daddy?" Shepard picked Bene up and plopped her on top of the bench. "Okay. I'll be right back."

Shepard turned and walked back over to the Officers getting within a few inches of the one in charge. Shepard spoke in a low, measured voice, a snarl on her lips.

"Okay. This is what's going to happen. You are both going to take your hands off your pistols and then you are going to smile and wave at my daughter. After that, we are going to get in your car and we are going to take my daughter to day care. And when we drop her off, you are going to smile and wave again. Then, we are all going to go down to your station and we will straighten this out peacefully. And finally, because you did all of the things before correctly, you are going to go home tonight and you will still be alive."

The two Officers looked at each other as Shepard backed off, her arms at her side, standing on the balls of her feet ready to go as she waited for them to make their decision. She was pretty sure that she could have the one in charge down before she even had a chance to draw her weapon, and then maybe use her body as a shield against the other. Finally, the Officer in charge held up her hand and waved in the direction of Bene and the other followed suit.

"Smile, Ladies. You're forgetting to smile."

Both Officers smiled and waved again. Shepard turned her head slightly and held her hand out.

"Come on, Bene. These nice Officers are going to give us a ride in their Skycar!"

Benezia got on her stomach, swung her legs over the side of the bench and let herself down. After Bene had toddled over, Shepard picked her up with one arm.

"We're going to ride in a police skycar! Doesn't that sound like fun, sweetie? And then you're going to daycare to play with the other kids for a bit. Do you remember how much fun you had when you were there before?" Shepard gave her daughter a kiss on the cheek. The Officers were still smiling and waving at Benezia.

Shepard was pacing in a holding cell hours later wondering how she had got to this point. Since getting to Thessia, she had had dozens of encounters with law enforcement, mostly for speeding, far more than she had had while growing up in a gang on the streets of Earth. Ironic. Shepard paced back and forth. Shepard's self-examination was disrupted by the appearance of Aethyta in front of her cell.

"This is a proud moment for me. My first time springing my daughter-in-law from jail. We should take a picture."

"What are you doing here? Where's Liara?"

"She had to pick up Benezia from day care. I think she's a bit angry with you at the moment."

"Why? What did she say?"

"I believe her exact words were: let her rot."

"Oh boy. That's so not fair! None of this is my fault."

Aethyta looked at Shepard's appearance disapprovingly.

"What did they pick you up for? Prostitution?"

Shepard looked down at her outfit. She was wearing her customary running shorts and sports bra top. It was not an outfit that would even get her a second glance on Earth.

"Jaywalking! I actually got arrested for jaywalking! This is such a fucked up planet. Damn matriarchs have too much power. She's the reason I'm in here. And there's nothing wrong with what I'm wearing. I was out running around and this is a running outfit. I'll never understand why the asari can go around with their asses hanging out and that's perfectly acceptable but shorts are somehow scandalous. Fucked up planet."

"You would be wise to not mention how fucked up you think the planet is when you go before the judge."

"Are you going to get me out of here or not?"

"That depends. You're being released into my custody. Are you going to behave or are you going to bring further shame to your wife, child and father-in-law?"

"Just get me out of here!"

"Did you hit the arresting officers?"

"I had Bene with me or I might have. We both know that the only reason I'm in here is because I let them put me in here."

"That's a good thing. You showed some restraint there so I'll get you out."

A few days later, Shepard was in the courtroom watching the proceedings and waiting for her case to be called. Liara had tried to convince Shepard to let her come or to hire an attorney but Shepard had insisted that she take care of the mess herself since she had created it. The judge before the court seemed to be very fair and not particularly strict so Shepard felt her confidence grow after watching several cases prior to hers. Drunk and disorderly- suspended sentence, simple assault- 60 days probation, first time shoplifting- 60 days probation and restitution. As far as Shepard was concerned, all these misdemeanors were more serious than stupid jaywalking so she doubted that they could justify giving her anything more than a slap on the wrist. Shepard's case was called and she stood before the judge. The judge spoke to Shepard.

"Before we proceed with your case, are you certain that you would not like an attorney to represent you?"

"If it pleases the court, I will speak on my own behalf." Shepard smiled to herself. She had watched some courtroom vids and had picked up some of the lingo.

"As you wish. Now you are accused of…

Before the judge could finish, there was a commotion in the court as another asari appeared behind her. The judge turned her head to see what was causing the stir and then she instantly jumped to her feet. Everyone in the court room stood as well

"Matriarch Alecta! It's an honor to have you here. Are you here to preside or just to observe?"

"You are doing a fine job but I think I will be taking over for this particular case."

"Of course, Matriarch."

The departing judge actually bowed slightly to Alecta. Shepard narrowed her eyes. This didn't seem right at all. What was a matriarch doing presiding over the lowest court in the whole Armali legal system? Shepard smelled a trap.

"Are we ready to proceed?" Alecta looked at Shepard.

"Your Honor, I've changed my mind. I would like an asari attorney to represent me."

Alecta smiled at her condescendingly.

"Of course you do. That's probably for the best. A human like you could never comprehend the intricacies of the most advanced legal system in the galaxy. You will be taken into custody for a few weeks until we can find you proper representation. Guards, please take Ms. Shepard into custody."

"Wait, what? Why am I being taken into custody? I was out prior to coming here today."

"You've had time to obtain an attorney before coming here today but you refused to get one. You then told this court that you would be representing yourself. You have the right to change your mind but this court can order you held until appropriate counsel can be obtained. Don't worry, it shouldn't take more than two weeks or so."

"Your Honor, that's absurd! The crime that I'm accused of has a maximum sentence of 24 hours with aggravated circumstances and you're going to hold me for weeks until an attorney is obtained?"

"You have the choice of continuing with your original decision and foregoing the attorney or we reschedule and place you into custody."

"Do I have the right to appeal the decision of this court?"

"Of course but only if errors can be found."

"May I ask the court another question?"

"This is why attorneys are a good idea. So you don't have to waste the court's time asking questions. Go ahead. I'll allow it since you are an off-worlder."

"Why is a matriarch presiding over a misdemeanor court? Isn't that unusual? Aren't you usually on the highest court in Armali?"

"That was three questions. Again, if you had bothered to get an attorney, they would tell you that a matriarch serving on a higher court can choose to preside over any lower court in the same system. The commonality of such an occurrence is irrelevant as it is the law. And no I am not on the highest court of Armali, I am on the Unified Supreme Court of Thessia, which oversees certain aspects of the law when disputes arise in the law between democracies."

Shepard shook her head, chuckled softly and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "So, you're not a member of the highest court in Armali, you are a member of the highest court on Thessia? And you're here to oversee a jaywalking charge in one of the smallest district courts in Armali? Unbelievable."

"Your incredulity is irrelevant so let's proceed to the charges. You are charged with illegal crossing of a roadway, 16 charges of speeding, 5 charges of reckless driving and a charge of solicitation with the intent to obtain illegal weapons. How do you plead?"

Shepard stood with her mouth open.

"Your Honor, there's been a mistake. According to my summons, I'm only here today for the jaywalking charge."

"Under Armali law, charges can be combined at the court's discretion. Again, you would know this if you had an attorney."

"I already paid all the traffic tickets. Doesn't that take care of all those? And the weapon's charge was never anything more than an unsubstantiated accusation. My house was already searched and no evidence of illegal weapons were found."

"Again, at the court's discretion, the money can be returned to you for the traffic violations and the charges brought before the court. I would say that after 20 tickets, it's obvious that the accused wasn't dissuaded from committing the crime again because of the fine. And the weapon's allegations were not charged previously but that does not mean that they can't be brought now. How do you plead? Guilty, not guilty or innocent by way of explanation?"

"I not prepared to answer for all the charges today. Can I ask for a postponement?"

"Certainly. Guards, please detain Ms. Shepard. This court will reconvene in 30 days."

"Wait! Why am I being detained? I thought I'd be free until the new trial?! Let me guess, at the discretion of the court?"

"That is correct."

Shepard sighed and considered her options_. It's not like they are going to imprison the Savior of the Galaxy for speeding and jay walking. It would make Thessia a laughing stock_.

"Okay, I'm ready to plead. I plead innocent by way of explanation."

"For which charge?"

"All of them."

"Okay. What is your explanation for the illegal crossing of a roadway?"

"Well, I believe in the spirit of the law, Your Honor. The whole reason that you have a law against jaywalking is to protect people from harm. In this case, there were no ground cars in the area when I crossed the street so I was never in any danger and neither was any driver. It was perfectly safe to cross when and where I did. There was no possibility of anyone being harmed in any way."

"Unfortunately for you, in Armali and on Thessia as a whole, we believe in the spirit AND the letter of the law. I have reviewed the evidence and find you guilty of the charge. Now what is your explanation for the traffic charges?"

Shepard let out an exasperated sigh.

"Again, the spirit of the law prevents speeding to protect people. My reflexes are far quicker than those of the average person. I have decades of experience driving, often in combat situations, and the increased speed of my vehicle posed no threat to myself or anyone else."

"Are you suggesting that we change our laws to suit you? Maybe we should not have speed limits and just let everyone go as fast as they believe their reflexes allow? How would we enforce this? By giving everyone a reflexes test that determines how fast they are allowed to drive? Surely you can see how unworkable this would be?"

"I see your point."

"I find you guilty of the traffic charges. And the weapon's charge?"

Shepard sighed knowing that what she was about to say was useless.

"I am an Admiral in the Alliance Navy, retired. I was an N 7 and a Council Spectre. I have handled just about every weapon known in Council space and many from outside Council space. I have never been charged with any kind of violent crime. If anyone should be allowed to have a weapon, it's me. A weapon in my hand is about as safe as a flower in someone else's hand."

"You had the opportunity to apply for permission to have a weapon like everyone else. Are you saying that you should be treated differently from everyone else because of your celebrity status?"

"No! Of course not. I'm saying that the _spirit_ of the law was never violated. They wouldn't let me have a weapon which is just absurd. I need it to protect myself and my family."

"I'm afraid that you are zero for three with that argument. I find you guilty of the solicitation charge. Now, is there anything that you would like to say before I pass sentence."

Shepard crossed her arms in front of her again.

"What would be the point?"

"This court is not willing to take your status into consideration when it comes to guilt but it is willing to consider your special status when it comes to sentencing. I sentence you to 1000 hours of community service. During this service, you will travel Thessia and other asari worlds and use your 'hero' status to improve morale. You will make sure that even the smallest towns and villages are moving forward with the rebuilding process."

Shepard's eyes were wide and she could feel her anger growing.

"1000 hours of community service?! For jaywalking and speeding? What the hell does that even mean, improve morale? What does that entail? It sounds like I will be a traveling freak show to me. An unpaid travelling freak show. On Earth, we have a word for this called slavery. What happens if I refuse?"

"It is not slavery. This court cannot make you perform any work against your will. If you prefer, you can go to jail for the 1000 hours instead, which I believe is right around 38 Thessian days."

"Your Honor, I have a child! I am my daughter's primary caretaker. Her mother works full time for the Armali government."

"Then it would seem to be in your best interest to take the community service option. At least you would be home at night. Most nights anyway."

"What would I even be doing? What exactly is the job description?"

"As I said, you would travel around Thessia and her colonies to increase morale. Meet with the leaders of the different places and see how the rebuilding efforts are coming, meet with people, offer words of encouragement, see what needs to be done and make sure it is done, _smile and wave_ if appropriate. _Surely the person who defeated the worst enemy the galaxy has ever known by the age of 33, at an age when most asari are still deciding on what tattoos to get, can manage that_." The matriarch smiled for the first time.

There it was. Shepard knew that her rude remarks were the real reason that she was here and now she had her confirmation. Shepard felt like throwing something or shooting someone. She laughed instead.

"Your Honor. I get it. I insulted a matriarch and I unintentionally insulted the asari people. I apologize for that. Believe it or not, I want to help with the rebuilding effort but I am hoping that you can find something less harmful to my family and more suited to my skills instead. I am not the public relations type and I've never been the most diplomatic."

"This is not a negotiation, Ms. Shepard. You have your choice. Would you please inform the court which you would prefer. And I hope that you are not trying to suggest that the actions of this court have been influenced by anything other than the law and the facts before the court. A serious accusation like that made without evidence is also a crime on Thessia."

"Do I have time to decide which punishment that I will accept or to appeal?"

"Of course. You may have up to 30 days to decide or to appeal. Guard, please take Ms. Shepard…

"into custody at the court's discretion. Yeah, I get it. Never mind. I'll take the community service."

"Very good. Now please see the court clerk on the way out for instruction on how to fulfil your community service. We will now take a break until the regularly assigned judge returns. And Ms. Shepard? I would like to thank you for your service to this galaxy. Thessia and the rest of the asari worlds are in your debt and Thessia is happy that you have decided to make a home here."

Matriarch Alecta smiled at Shepard before turning and exiting the courtroom. Shepard stood dumbfounded for a few moments, even more confused by the judge's last statement than by every other bewildering thing that had transpired previous to it.

Later that evening, Shepard was sharing her day with Liara. Shepard had just finished preparing dinner and they were getting ready to sit down to eat. Bene was already sitting in her high chair, smacking the tray in front of her with her spoon and chanting playfully.

"Food, food, food, food…"

"Okay Bene. We understand. You are hungry. It's coming right up."

"Are you sure you got the name right? Matriarch Alecta? There are several matriarchs with similar names on the courts."

"I will never forget the name, honey. She beat me up. She owned me. I'm not going to forget the name."

"She was one of my mother's oldest and closest friends. Why would she intervene like that? What is she up to? Why would she give you such a ridiculous sentence? She can't still be mad that I left. And I'm sure she wouldn't use her position to punish me. She actually has a stellar reputation as a wise and impartial judge."

"Well, I am not too fond of her. I think she's just a bitch who got pissed off at what I said."

"Shepard!"

Shepard eyed Bene guiltily.

"Okay, she is just a witch who got pissed off at what I said."

"Well, you aren't exactly making friends here, love. I don't know what's gotten into you. It's like you are rebelling against the whole planet. A little deference to the matriarchs would go a long way."

"And why should I respect someone just because they are old?"

"It's not about that. It's about showing a little respect to Thessia and to our customs and culture."

Shepard put the cut-up pieces of food down in front of Benezia who immediately abandoned her spoon and started picking up the pieces with her hand, stuffing them in her mouth.

"Slow down, Sweetie. One piece at a time or you will choke. You would think that we never feed her by the way she eats." As expected, Benezia started choking and Shepard patted her back. She spit out a piece of food and then immediately put it back in her mouth.

"She does everything in a rush. Have you noticed? She reminds me of someone else that I know." Liara smiled at Shepard.

"That's not true. I've gotten a lot better since I've left the military. Watch, I'm going to eat like a normal person."

Shepard sat down, picked up her fork, put some food in her mouth and then put the fork back down. Liara only smiled.

"Well, maybe it won't be that bad. It will get you out of the house and you'll be able to explore the whole planet and some of the colonies as well."

"I don't know Liara. It just feels wrong to me. I feel like I'm being treated very unfairly. Like I'm being made a fool of."

"They respect you, Shepard. That's the problem. They know how respected you are. They know how much weight your opinion carries which is why they, Ravana especially, are threatened by you. The matriarchs couldn't just let you get away with what you said. Just think of it from their position. The asari are still reeling from the War in many ways. The matriarchs have to show that their people can have faith in them. That they have things under control and that everything is going to be normal again one day."

Shepard had lost patience with the one bite, put the fork down method of eating like a regular person and was now shoveling the food in her mouth. She finished chewing and spoke again.

"I guess I can see that. Though I think that that Ravana bi…witch is just an arrogant jerk who likes to hear herself speak."

"From what I understand, it would not be one of the first times that she has been involved in a very public, nasty debate. Just forget about her. She isn't even that important in Thessian politics."

"Which is why she probably picked a fight with me in the first place. Well that and my wife's threats, that is. Can I get you dessert?"

Shepard had finished eating and she bounced up from her chair. She scooped up her dirty dishes and brought them over to the sink.

"I'm still eating dinner. Like any normal person would be. Though your daughter seems interested."

"Sewt! Sewt! Sewt! Sewt!" Benezia started chanting again.

Shepard leaned over closer to Benezia and spoke to her quietly.

"Sweetie, do you want some i-c-e c-r-e-a-m?"

"You do realize that I can hear you, right Shepard? And that I am fluent in English and that I can spell? And that Benezia cannot."

Benezia did seem confused by what Shepard was saying to her.

"You're too smart for your own good, Liara. You're definitely too smart for my own good." Shepard turned her head and addressed her daughter again. "Ice cream, sweetie. Do you want some ice cream?"

At the mention of her favorite dessert, Benezia's eyes lit up, she smiled broadly and she started chanting again.

"Eye Cweam! Eye Cweam! Eye Cweam!"

"Coming right up, Sweetie." Shepard smiled back at her daughter.

"Just be prepared to deal with the consequences, Shepard, because I refuse to. You know that eating ice cream can give her diarrhea."

"Only if she eats too much. We'll be moderate."

"Neither of you tends towards moderation when it comes to ice cream. Or much else as far as I can see."


	59. Chapter 59

Shepard hit the bag again and again. She was sweating so heavily that the sweat flew away from her body with each impact her fists made. The bag was swinging wildly in the make-shift gym Shepard had set up in one of their apartment's unused bedrooms. Her thoughts kept returning to her encounter with Matriarch Ravana at the political discussion and to her trip to the court. She couldn't help but think that she was being treated unfairly. The more she thought about it, the angrier she got and the harder she hit the bag.

Shepard just managed to jump out of the way as the bag fell to the ground, taking a good portion of the ceiling that it had been attached to with it. Shepard cursed to herself and looked at the damage. Not too bad. She should be able to fix the ceiling herself. Suddenly, the door flew open and Liara burst through the door.

"Shepard?! Are you alright."

Shepard sighed. "I'm fine. I think I just got a little carried away. I'm sorry. I'll fix it, I promise."

"I'm not worried about the ceiling. Exactly what did that bag do to piss you off?" Liara smiled at Shepard, trying to get her obviously upset bondmate to calm down.

"I was just imagining certain matriarchs and I got carried away. I've been thinking Liara. I think I'm going to accept the jail sentence instead of doing the community service. I don't think I'm being treated fairly. There are principles involved…

"And what about the principle of staying home to take care of your child and pregnant bondmate?"

Liara looked at Shepard and could see that she hadn't made up her mind yet. She also knew that once she did, thresher maws and reapers wouldn't be enough to dissuade her. Liara softened her tone and moved closer to Shepard, running a hand over her arm.

"I think it is better to accept the community service and then just get on with our lives." Liara hesitated for a moment and then bravely continued. "Let me talk with Alecta. Try to find out what is…"

"Absolutely not! I won't have my bondmate fighting my battles for me!"

Liara crossed her arms and raised one of her brow markings. "I thought we were a team? I thought that any battle fought by either of us was a battle for both of us?"

"They already know that they can push me around. If you talk to this Alecta than I will appear even weaker."

"This isn't a war, Shepard and Alecta is not an enemy. As I told you before, she was one of my mother's oldest friends and a godmother of sorts to me. It is quite possible that she intervened to help us. Or at least, in her mind. I am very curious why she gave you such a unique sentence. I can guess what their short-term goal was but I'm very curious to find out their long-term goal."

"How do you know that the goal isn't just to humiliate me? How do you even know that she has a long-term goal?"

Liara tilted her head and gave Shepard an exasperated look.

"She's an asari matriarch, Shepard. They always have a long-term goal. You know how more driven humans sometimes write down a ten-year plan? Well, it is not uncommon for more driven asari to have a five hundred year plan."

Shepard just shook her head. She had never planned much more than her next move ahead, frequently flying by the seat of her pants using her instinct as much as her intellect to decide what to do next. Get into the academy to get off the streets. Do the best that she could in the academy to become an officer. Finish the N7 program to improve her chances for promotion and choice assignments. Beat the reapers. Marry Liara, have babies and then, who knows? The thought of someone actually trying to plan out the next few centuries of their lives was just not something that she could even comprehend. She was as driven as anyone but she liked to wait to see what opportunities presented themselves. Unlike a certain asari of her acquaintance. Shepard smiled at Liara.

"And as a driven asari, do you have a five-hundred year plan?"

"No. I've learned that reality has a way of hindering any plan."

"But you had one at one time."

"Yes. But it was only for two hundred and fifty years!" Liara said defensively.

Shepard laughed. "And how are you doing on that plan?"

Liara only shook her head mournfully.

Shepard laughed again and moved closer to her until she could slide her arms around Liara's waist.

"Let me guess. The appearance of a deadly race of murderous machines that kill all advanced life in the galaxy has a way of messing up one's plans?"

"As does the appearance of beautiful, dashing Alliance Commanders." Liara wrinkled her nose and struggled half-heartedly to get away from said sweaty Commander. "You are soaking wet and you are starting to smell like a large, hairy land mammal."

"I am a large, hairy land mammal. But there is a cure for the smelliness. Take a shower with me?"

Liara extricated herself from Shepard's arms and stepped back.

"That depends. Will you agree to not make up your mind about whether to accept the community service until I talk with Alecta so that we can decide together what to do about _our_ problem?"

Shepard sighed and shook her head. "If you are going to use my sexuality against me to try to bend me to your will, shouldn't you at least be naked?"

Liara looked stern or at least tried to and said "I am not trying to use your sexuality against you, just good, old-fashioned reason but if that doesn't work on some of you large, hairy land mammals…"

Liara deftly pulled her shirt over her head in one motion. She then pushed down her pants and stepped out of them. She then undid her bra, flung it at Shepard's head and stepped out of her panties as well. Despite the fact that they were now an 'old' married couple, Liara's belly was slightly swollen with their second child and she had seen Liara naked hundreds of times before, Shepard felt her heart start to race as her mouth went dry. The idea had occurred to Shepard previously, while drunk no doubt, that she was the victim of witchcraft. The want and the need to have the gorgeous creature in front of her never seemed to go away. The only consolation is that the gorgeous creature seemed to need and want her just as badly, thank the Goddess. She growled only one word "deal" before scooping Liara up in her arms and quickly moving them to their shower.

Several hours later, Shepard was woken by the incessant beeping of her omnitool. She looked down to see that it was an incoming message from Wrex. At first she was annoyed. Wrex either couldn't be bothered to do the math to determine exactly what time of the day it was on Thessia when he called or he simply didn't care. Shepard's next reaction was to smile. If there was anyone who would support her inclination to go all 'blood rage' on the matriarchs and tell them to go pound sand, it would be her krogan friend. She quickly got out of bed doing her best not to wake Liara. Once in her office, Shepard hit the button to accept the call.

"Do you have any idea what time it is here, Wrex?"

"What does it matter? Did I interrupt your beauty sleep, Princess?"

"Someone's grumpy. Do you have a reason for calling me in the middle of the night and insulting me or are you doing it just for kicks?"

"Pressures getting worse here, Shepard. Something's going to give. I need you to talk to the asari and the council. See if you can get their support for more colonies."

"One, I don't see how this is my problem. Two, I don't see how I can help because my political standing is pretty much shit on this planet. Three, what you need to do is hire a professional negotiator to act as a krogan lobbyist."

"One, it's your problem because you helped cure the genophage so now it is your responsibility to make sure that the krogan thrive. Two, I saw that little temper tantrum that you threw at that political meeting and you need to fix it. Three, we've already got twenty but they all suck."

"Of all people, I thought that you would be on my side in this! That matriarch insulted my honor and they disrespected me!" Shepard explained everything about what had happened, including being arrested on jaywalking charges and sentenced to community service. When Wrex stopped laughing, he gave Shepard a hard look.

"Ok. So go do your little sentence, convince those damn asari how necessary a centralized military is and then start working on getting the krogan more help for Tuchanka and another colony."

Wrex said it so matter-of-factly that Shepard could hardly believe her ears. The fact that Shepard had been insulted didn't even seem to register with Wrex.

"Did you even hear what I said? Don't you think that I should refuse the community service just to prove a point? Just to show them that I won't be pushed around?"

"And what good would that do you? You need to grow up, Shepard. You have a kid now and another on the way. You need to decide what you want and then do everything you can to get it. Let me tell you something, instead of sitting in a nice apartment on Thessia with more than enough food to eat, most krogan children are growing up in ruins. Instead of an asari matriarch brow-beating me and lecturing me on how to properly behave, I had another idiot try to kill me again yesterday."

"Another assassination attempt? Shit. I'm sorry Wrex. How are things really on Tuchanka?"

"Most krogan agree with me and Bacara on the reforms but there are still those who would rather see us both dead so that the krogan can start an empire. Instead of building, they think it would just be easier to take someone else's cities and worlds. I need to give the krogan people results or their numbers will grow. I don't think I have to tell you how bad that would be for everyone."

"That would be very bad, Wrex. What would help take the pressure off?"

"We still need help rebuilding Tuchanka. As you know, only about two percent of the planet can sustain crops. We need another colony world to settle. Another problem is that we just don't have anything to sell in the galactic market except mercenary services. Hard to argue that the krogan people need to start becoming artist and architects when the rest of the galaxy still sees us only as hired guns."

"I'll see what I can do, Wrex." Shepard wanted to say that she had problems of her own but Wrex was right. They were nothing compared to the challenges that still faced the krogan and billions of others in the galaxy. Shepard suddenly felt very foolish.

Shepard paused at her daughter's door on the way back to bed. She decided to sneak in to check on her daughter. Benezia was sleeping soundly and peacefully. Her daughter was still so young and Shepard couldn't quite comprehend that the small being that she had helped bring into existence could look forward to another thousand years or more of life. So far, Benezia had lived a charmed life. Unlike so many other children in the galaxy at that very moment, she was asleep in a safe, warm bed without any concerns besides how her soon-to-be sister would interfere with her life and whether or not she would be able to convince her parents to give her another bowl of ice cream.

Shepard was swept up in an all too familiar emotional wave of fierce protectiveness when her thoughts got darker. How many small children just like Benezia were sleeping peacefully in their beds on Thessia before the reapers hit? How many didn't make it to the evacuations because the fractured and disorganized asari military just did not have the leadership and organization necessary to provide an adequate defense. Asari commandos and huntresses were known for being among the fiercest warriors in the galaxy but they were uselessly slaughtered by the hundreds of thousands because they did not have the leadership, infrastructure and training to put up an adequate defense like the turians and her species did. No military was going to defeat the reapers but how many more could have been saved?

The fact was, Thessia and her colonies needed to change so that Thessia would never fall again. So that Liara and their children would always have a safe home world to return to long after Shepard was gone. Her thoughts grew darker still and her imagination couldn't help but come up with worst case scenarios. What if four hundred years from now, after Wrex and Bacara are gone, some hot-headed krogan comes to power and decides that Thessia makes a lucrative and soft target for the start of the next krogan empire? What if the innocent child now sleeping so soundly before her is forced to fight for her life, oblivious to the fact that the actions of her father 400 years earlier sowed the seeds that led to her imminent demise?

Shepard shook her head to try to get rid of the dark thoughts. There was nothing that Shepard could do about her actions in the past and there was little she could about what might happen hundreds of years after her death but there were things that she could do right now to make this world a safer place. Shepard determined to try again to get a resolution to create a permanent, centralized military on Thessia to pass. She'd tried before and had been humiliated and lost her temper. So fucking what? As a soldier, she had had her ass handed to her dozens of times before but she never gave up. In fact, getting one's ass handed to them was what was called experience in the military and it was the necessary factor that turned an adequate soldier into a good one and a good one into a great one. Politics was no different. The only difference is that her lack of patience and temper were a hindrance instead of a help. Shepard figured if Wrex, one of the most impatient and quick to anger but best warriors she had ever met, could learn to control it to get what he wanted and what his people needed, so could she.

The next day, Shepard returned from her long weekend run to find a smiling Liara and Benezia watching her as she came in. Shepard was warmly greeted by her daughter Benezia at the door, something that Shepard tried to savor as she knew it would not last forever. Toddlers frequently greeted fathers with pure joy no matter how short the absence but she doubted that adolescents did the same.

"Perfect timing. I talked to Alecta and we have some things to discuss."

"What? You talked to Alecta today?! Where?"

Before Liara could respond, Benezia interjected.

"Daddy, look! Lecta got blocks for me!"

Liara answered Shepard as she was led to the floor of the living room where a large pile of brightly colored and lit blocks of all sizes lay strewn across the floor.

"Here, of course. She called right after you left and she stayed for breakfast. We had a nice chat. It was so good to see her again. We reminisced about my childhood and we talked about my mother."

"She was here? In my house? With my child?"

Liara rolled her eyes. "No Shepard. We went to a neighbor's house and she visited with their children instead."

"Look Daddy! I build a house!"

Shepard looked at the blocks and recognized them immediately. Shepard was going to buy this particular set for Benezia but she thought she was still a little young for them. They could be programmed to build certain things so that the user was guided by light and sound to put them together correctly. They were designed to develop a child's spatial reasoning skills.

"I was going to buy these blocks for Benezia on her birthday." Shepard grumbled.

"You can buy her something else. I thought it was a very thoughtful gift."

_The matriarchy probably wants more engineers so the blocks are an attempt at early indoctrination_, Shepard thought unkindly.

"So, what did she say?"

"I have some good news. Look at this."

Liara handed Shepard a small datapad.

"She agreed that it was ridiculous to not allow you to possess weapons so here is a permit that allows you to own and carry any weapon that you wish on Thessia."

"It's probably a set-up. I'll probably be arrested if I buy a gun now and the permit will be useless."

"It is signed by a Justice of the Supreme Unified Court of Thessia, Shepard. It will be accepted by every law enforcement agency on Thessia. And what do you mean when you 'buy' weapons? What about the weapons that you already have stashed around the house and the garage?"

Shepard looked down and pretended to be occupied by the blocks.

"Oh, you found out about those, huh?"

Liara smiled. "Of course. I'm just glad I didn't accidentally shoot myself with the discovery. Now, it gets better. She agreed that you can have a government shuttle so that you can perform your duties. That will make it much easier and faster. That way, you can be home with us most of the time."

"Does it have relay capability?" Shepard said, trying hard not to sound too interested.

"Of course. It wouldn't be much help getting you to some of the colonies if it didn't. And she said that you could use it for personal use as well so long as you purchase your own fuel. You could go back to Earth or anywhere else in the galaxy whenever you want."

"Does it have guns?"

"Come on Shepard. You'll be doing morale building work. You don't need guns for that!"

"Says you. And when do I get this shuttle? I bet I'm still waiting for it two years from now, long after my indentured servitude is over."

"It's already waiting for you over at the regional spaceport, brand new and ready to go."

"So I bet you think I should just do the reasonable thing and agree to the community service?"

"What could it hurt, Shepard? Who knows, you might even enjoy it. You might even be able to help people. Alecta said that you can even take me and Benezia when it was reasonable to do so."

"You haven't told me anything about why she did it. You were supposed to get intel about why they gave me such a sentence, remember? What are they up to?"

"I think they want to keep you busy so that you don't cause any more trouble. They want you out of their scalp crests, so to speak. As to the long-term plan, she was very tightlipped but I got the sense that they were assessing you for something."

"Assessing me? For what?"

"I have no idea. Maybe they have plans for the Savior of the Galaxy in the future."

"Well, tough. The Savior of the Galaxy is retired."

"The important thing is that I sensed no animosity or ill-will from her towards either of us. In fact, I would say that she was very happy to see me. And for just a moment, she let on that she was thrilled that we are here. I think she is our ally, Shepard and it's good to have allies in the matriarchy."

Shepard woke up in the early hours of the next morning to a very restless bondmate, who was tossing and turning beside her.

"Are you okay, Li?"

"Yes. I just can't sleep. I just got one of my cravings and I can't get it out of my head."

Shepard sat up.

"For what? Can I get something for you?"

"It's nothing. It will go away."

"Liara, just tell me."

"I was just thinking of these berries that I haven't had in decades."

"What are they?"

"Anilie berries."

"I will get you some first thing in the morning. The stores don't put out the fresh produce until morning."

"They are only available from Aigio. They are just becoming ripe now and won't be available in our stores yet. Goddess, they are just so delicious!"

"I suppose I could take the new shuttle to Aigio in the morning to get you some."

"Oh no. I couldn't have you do that. I'll be fine."

"I'll go first thing in the morning. It might be fun to take the shuttle out for a spin."

Shepard turned over and was just about to fall asleep again when Liara started tossing and turning again. Shepard sighed and threw the covers off.

"Okay. I'm going now. Is there anything else you are craving from half-way across the planet while I am there?"

"Don't be silly, Shepard. Just go back to bed. I'll be fine."

"Too late."

"I'm sorry that I woke you Shepard. You don't have to go."

"I'm going."

"Shepard?"

"Yes?"

"Since you are going anyway, is there any possible way that you could stop by Kavala and pick up some of that Kavalan White Fish?"

"I'm on it."

"Shepard?"

"Yeah?"

"You are the best bondmate ever."

Shepard finished dressing and bent over to kiss to Liara.

"I know."


	60. Chapter 60

Shepard stood in front of Matriarch Alecta's desk in her private chambers in the gigantic main court complex in Armali, the largest on Thessia. Shepard stood as straight as possible with her hands clasped behind her back. She tried to keep a serious, professional expression on her face despite the fact that Benezia was singing some made up song behind her. Alecta finally looked up and smiled at Shepard.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting, Ms. Shepard. How may I help you?"

Shepard squared her shoulders and looked Alecta straight in the eye. "You can call me Mrs. T'Soni-Shepard or Admiral Shepard, please."

"Very well, Admiral Shepard. We don't do Mrs or hyphens on Thessia. How may I help you?"

"This sentence that I received is just nonsense. The people of Thessia and her colonies don't need me to come along and smile at them. I'm not helping anyone by visiting these places. They need their schools rebuilt. They need their hospitals rebuilt. In some places, people are still living in overcrowded shelters. Access to proper food is still an issue in others. It's a mess. And me coming in and giving words of encouragement is worse than nothing."

"I see."

"No. I don't think that you do. The worst thing is that if things could just be coordinated better at a planet-wide level, things could be moved along so much quicker. Did you know that over in Ulee, they are just sitting on stockpiles of metals, ready to be used for building materials? But they don't have any teachers for their schools. Parents are trying to teach their kids at home while trying to work at the same time. Meanwhile, Attena because of its teaching universities, has a whole shipload of trained and qualified but very unemployed teachers sitting around doing nothing while at the same time, many of their buildings remain just craters for lack of building materials. I realize that each city and town and colony is its own autonomous republic but it seems like it would be a simple thing to get the two sides together and hammer out a mutually-beneficial agreement. Hell, most of the teachers are still maidens. I'm sure they would love the chance to travel around if they had a job that allowed them to do so."

"Okay. Sounds like a good idea. I can get a very knowledgeable attorney who can act as your assistant and help to draw up the contracts to make sure that they satisfy legal codes."

"Whoa. I didn't mean me. I'm not a negotiator. Hell, I'm not even a citizen yet."

"Why not you? Your sentence gives you the opportunity to travel to many different places in rapid fashion. It gives you the ability to see the big picture and to be able to see solutions to problems that the leadership at the individual republics cannot."

"I have absolutely zero experience negotiating anything. I wouldn't even know how to start."

"I'm sorry but aren't you the same Shepard who negotiated a peace between the quarians and the geth before their tragic demise? And didn't you get the krogan and the turians to work together? And aren't you the same Shepard who was in charge of the rebuilding of the Citadel in the crucial two years following the War?"

Shepard crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared at the Matriarch.

"You know very well that that was me but that was different. I had a gun. I was able to get the krogan and the turians to work together because I solved problems for both sides, mainly by shooting my gun. Besides, I had the authority to negotiate treaties with the other races from the Alliance and by my authority as a Spectre."

Alecta unlocked a drawer in her desk and took out a small datapad. She handed the datapad to Shepard.

"The asari are a relatively cooperative people. You should be able to manage to do this without any bullets flying. It should be, what is that human saying, 'a piece of pie' compared to bringing warring factions together. Here. This gives you the authority to negotiate contracts among and between the asari republics. It's already signed by me and the other justices of the Supreme Unified Court."

Shepard scanned the document and quickly grew angry. She threw the datapad back on Alecta's desk.

"And you just happened to have this document prepared with my name on it? Before I set foot in your office? This was the plot all along, wasn't it? I'm being manipulated again. You know what? I'm going to bring my daughter home and then I'm going to report to the jail to just serve my sentence that way."

Shepard turned to pick up Benezia and leave when Alecta called out to her.

"Shepard, wait! Please just listen to what I have to say."

Shepard put Benezia back down on the floor and walked back over to stand in front of Alecta's desk, her arms crossed.

"I'm listening."

"Did you know that 47% of all matriarchs died during the War, Admiral? Only roughly 16% of the general population died on Thessia but 47% of those around 700 years and older died. Do you know what they died from?"

Shepard looked at her quizzically before giving the obvious answer.

"Okay, I'll bite. Battle wounds from reaper attacks?"

"They died from shame, Shepard. Shame and despair. It was our responsibility to defend and protect our people and we failed miserably because of our own shortsightedness and arrogance. Many matriarchs stayed on Thessia and refused to evacuate even when they had the opportunity to do so. There were the smart ones like Aethtya who resolved to resist the reapers as long as possible but there were plenty of others who just threw themselves at the reapers. They just threw themselves at the reapers and they just threw their lives away."

Shepard unfolded her arms, a look of genuine compassion replacing the look of suspicion and anger that had previously been there. Shepard could see unshed tears welling in the matriarch's eyes.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"I know you think that the matriarchs have too much power but we are just people. People with frailties and weaknesses just like everyone else. But most of us want to do what is best for our people. Our system isn't perfect but there are checks and balances in place to make sure that no one matriarch gets too much power. But now, there just aren't enough of us to do everything that needs to be done. We are stretched razor-thin. We have had to use matrons and even talented maidens in positions that previously were always occupied by matriarchs. "

"If you wanted my help, you could have simply asked."

"I'm asking now. Will you take the job as a coordinator in the rebuilding efforts?"

Shepard rubbed her neck.

"I have no idea if I will be able to help at all. This is way beyond my skill set. And I have my daughter and another on the way. I will not miss seeing my kids grow up to work at another damn administrator job like I had on the Citadel."

"Of course, you set your own schedule and I imagine much work can be done via the extranet once the initial visits are made."

"And not everything needed to get the rebuilding done is available on Thessia and her colonies. I'll need to have access to whoever is in charge of foreign treaties."

Alecta reached back into her desk and presented Shepard with another datapad.

"This authorizes you to negotiate contracts on behalf of the republics with non-asari corporations and governments. Of course, all contracts with off-world interests will have to be approved by this Court but your new assistant should be able to speed up that process for you and make sure that the contracts are up to legal standards."

Shepard just shook her head. "I imagine it will take some money to do all this. I'm not spending my kid's college fund."

Alecta reached back in her desk once more and removed another datapad.

"Jesus Christ! Am I that easy to read? Is there anything that you didn't foresee?"

Alecta smiled a humorless smile to Shepard. "There is so much that I didn't see. I didn't foresee the reapers. I didn't see Thessia ever falling to an enemy. I didn't see that hiding a prothean beacon would almost result in the destruction of the asari and the entire galaxy. Shall I go on?"

"No. I get the picture. And if they gave out awards for shortsightedness, you wouldn't even place. Now, about my shuttle. It's a dangerous galaxy out there. I will need some cannons installed right away."

"No, Admiral." Alecta gave another little smile to Shepard.

"I had to try."

"I know you did. Thank you, Admiral Shepard. Now, if there isn't anything further, I have court in about 20 minutes and I really need to read through these briefs."

With that, Shepard gave one final sigh and turned to collect her daughter. The only problem being her daughter was no longer there. Shepard ran behind the couch and the other possible hiding places in the room to no avail. Shepard started to panic.

"Did you see my daughter?"

Alecta looked up. "I thought she was still right behind you. Don't worry, Admiral. She can't have gotten far and this is a secured building. No harm will come to her here. I'll alert court security. Do you have a description?"

Shepard was already half-way to the door in full panic mode when she heard the question. She whirled around.

"Um. She's around two years old and about yay high." Shepard brought her hand down to her lower thigh. "She's a medium blue color with bright blue eyes and she has a pink nose and these cute little pink freckles on her cheeks."

The Matriarch looked at her expectantly. Shepard realized that her description described probably half of all the children on Thessia.

"Ahhh. Why can't I remember what outfit I put her in today? Red. I think it was red overalls. God, I just can't remember."

"Don't worry, Admiral. I'm sure that there are not too many unattended two year olds running around the courthouse. We'll find her and security will contact you when they do."

With that, Shepard sprinted out the door and down the hall, frantically opening doors as she did.

Benezia walked down the busy hall. The hall was busy with people running or walking distractedly. Most of the doors in the hall were closed. She tried one of them but when she waved her hand over what she thought was a pressure plate, nothing happened. She tried pushing on the door but nothing happened. The doors were huge wooden doors instead of the metal and plastic doors that were at most of the places where she had been previously. The fact that she couldn't get in these doors just made her want to see what was inside them even more.

She kept walking until she arrived at a door that was open. People kept entering the door. When she finally got to the entrance, she found a whole room full of people, all of them looking forward away from the door. There were people standing and sitting in front of her blocking her view of the front of the room. Benezia walked down the aisle towards the front, curious to see what everyone was looking at. As she approached the front, there were two big tables on either side of the aisle with a few people seated at them. They too were facing towards the front.

At the front of the room, there was a large desk on a raised platform with stairs. In front of the platform was a wooden railing that divided the portion of the room with the large desk on the platform from the rest of the room. Benezia got the idea that if she could get up that platform, she would have a much better view of the whole room. She walked easily under the railing and started up the stairs, using her hands to aid in her climb. By this time, the people in the room had started watching the girl and some started laughing.

When Benezia reached the top of the platform, her view was blocked by the large desk but there were chairs behind the desk. Benezia threw her stomach on the nearest chair and then managed to throw one leg up on it so that she could hoist herself on top of the chair. She then got on her knees, stood up on the chair, turned around and looked out over the desk.

By now, everyone in the room was looking at her. Most of the people were smiling and some were laughing. Benezia smiled back at the crowd and waved, which caused even more people to laugh. One of the people at one of the tables in front of the platform said something.

"I know that the courts are hurting for judges right now but they sure are getting them young."

There was more laughter in the room. Benezia had no idea what the person at the table was talking about but she started laughing too. All she knew is that the whole room was looking at her. She was the center of attention and she liked it. The woman at the table spoke again while looking at Benezia.

"Why should we wait? Your Honor, it is our position that this is a valid contract. Don't you agree?"

Benezia had no idea what the person was saying to her but she could tell that she was being asked a question. Benezia smiled brightly and said "Yes!" loudly. The whole room erupted in laughter. Benezia squealed in response. Suddenly, the door next to the stairs for the platform opened and a stern looking guard entered the room and held the door open. All the people in the room jumped to their feet and fell quiet as the three justices entered the room. The first justice started up the stairs but then stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Benezia.

"I know exactly who you are, little one." Matriarch Alecta said while picking up the child in the chair. Alecta spoke over her shoulder to the guard. "Tell Admiral Shepard that we've located her daughter."

The guard stepped forward to take the child from the Matriarch. Alecta shook her head.

"Tell Shepard to come here to collect her daughter."

When Shepard burst through the courtroom doors five minutes later, court was in session and the attorneys in the case were up at the justices' desk discussing procedural matters. All eyes turned towards Shepard as she ran into the courtroom scanning for her daughter. She stopped abruptly when she noticed the very crowded and hushed room and the eyes upon her. Shepard could hear a few shocked gasps and some in the crowd whispered her name. She located her daughter sitting on the justices' desk at the head of the room. Benezia didn't seem at all bothered by the fact that she was in a crowded room filled with strangers without a parent anywhere in sight. _Why couldn't she be shy like her mother?! _

With as much dignity as possible, Shepard squared her shoulders, lifted her head and marched down the aisle. As she passed the lawyer's tables, Benezia finally noticed her and screamed "Daddy!" With that, Matriarch Alecta lifted her head and smiled at Shepard.

"Ah. There you are. It would seem that your daughter has decided that despite her lack of experience, she knows best and would like to take over this Court. A genetic trait from her father, no doubt."

The room laughed at the Matriarch's remark. Shepard moved up the stairs closer to the justices' desk. Benezia, completely oblivious to the abject panic she had caused her father, was smiling at her Dad as she approached and launched herself into Shepard's waiting arms. There were some 'aws' from the courtroom as Shepard hugged her tightly. Shepard nodded at Alecta and muttered her apologies about wasting the court's time. She then quickly went back down the way she came without another word.

The next morning, Matriarch Alecta looked at the photo of Shepard and Benezia that had been taken in secret on a spectator's omnitool in the courtroom the previous day. Despite the fact that the Court expressly forbids the unauthorized taking of photos, there were always some that tried to sneak some anyway and they had to be confiscated at the end of the day. Alecta surmised that the appearance of the Great Commander Shepard in the court was just too much of a temptation. It was a good picture. It didn't show Benezia's face but it did show an obviously concerned and devoted father holding her child protectively.

As a Supreme Unified Court Justice, Alecta was not allowed to have opinions about political matters or at least, she was not allowed to share those opinions in public. She agreed with Shepard that Thessia needed to have a permanent, centralized military but she could in no way, publicly give the measure her support. Shepard was a passionate advocate but it was obvious that she had little experience with politics or swaying public opinion. She had no idea that for some, the messenger was as important as the message, especially to many young maidens who just couldn't be bothered to make themselves knowledgeable about the all the nuances of an issue.

Shepard had actually hurt her cause by losing her temper and insulting the asari people. Now, the measure had been shelved for six months. Shepard needed to learn about controlling the narrative. The picture would show Shepard in a favorable light. It would also improve morale for a population still reeling from the War in many ways to show Commander Shepard's attachment to her asari daughter. Alecta considered and then hit the button releasing the photo and a small attached blurb to a news agency, anonymously, of course.


	61. Chapter 61

Shepard got out of the skycar and gasped at the sight before her. They had decided to spend the day at the ocean but there was an ocean of people already there. Shepard had never seen so many varying shades of blue in her life. Most of the people were not wearing anything. Shepard gasped again at the realization.

"Ah Liara, this is a nude beach?"

"This is Thessia, Shepard. They are all nude beaches. Or rather, there are no legal prohibitions against wearing as much or as little as one wishes. Actually, I don't believe there are any prohibitions against nudity anywhere on Thessia except for the Courts and Government buildings but by custom, most people wear clothing most places."

Shepard stood transfixed, her mouth open.

"I love this planet!"

Liara only sighed and rolled her eyes.

"No seriously Liara. I see now that one of the biggest mistakes of my life was not coming here when I turned 18 instead of joining the military. This is what heaven must look like!"

"My father is right about you. You walk around this planet in a, I believe the phrase was, horny daze."

"If Thessia is still having economic problems, why don't they open this place up for tourism? Every human male and quite a few women would pay everything they have to visit here!"

"Our eezo is not the only reason why visitation to Thessia is strictly controlled. After seeing other species' reaction to us, the matriarchs decided early on that we needed a homeworld where the asari could come back to and just be ourselves."

Shepard stood frozen, staring at the view, a tiny smile on her face. Liara snapped her fingers in front of Shepard's face.

"Focus, Shepard! You need to take our bags and the cooler. I don't trust you to carry Benezia right now."

"It is an assault on the senses. A very pleasant, lovely, awe-inspiring assault on the senses."

Liara had already started walking away from Shepard, carrying Benezia in her arms. Shepard was enjoying the view while gathering their bags but something about the whole place seemed wrong to her somehow. Shepard ran after Liara.

"Liara, I think we need to talk about this. Isn't there a family beach that we can take Benezia to? You know, where there aren't so many body parts showing? You know, to protect Benezia."

"This is a family beach, Shepard and there's nothing wrong with any body part that anyone possesses. There's no reason why Benezia can't see naked bodies."

"I'm just saying that being exposed to such things at such a young age could give her ideas. We don't want her to grow up thinking it's perfectly acceptable to be naked in front of other people. We don't want her to grow up to be one of those dancers at some seedy club somewhere!"

"I won't allow you to give our daughter that neurotic body shame that so many humans have. Or to equate nakedness obsessively with sex like you humans do. And of course, we will encourage her to find more meaningful occupations but once she is an adult, she will decide what she wants to do on her own and we will love and support her regardless."

Shepard dumped the bags where Liara had stopped in a vacant spot. The thought of Benezia growing up to be a dancing asari made Shepard's stomach hurt.

"I'm just saying that there's nothing wrong with a little modesty. I'm not talking about her being ashamed of her body; I'm just trying to say that we need to teach her that some parts of one's body should only be uncovered in private or in front of a select, very small group of people."

"If there is nothing to be ashamed of then what's the problem? Why should certain parts be hidden away?" Liara responded. "Besides, I'd rather have her as a dancer than a commando or a merc. Help me spread this blanket."

Shepard kneeled down and spread the blanket on the fine sand. The thought of Benezia becoming a mercenary made Shepard's stomach hurt even more. How many stupid, young asari had she been forced to kill?

"I'm just saying there are certain realities in the galaxy. I don't think you know how other species are, males especially. If a woman takes her clothes off in public, they don't respect her. A naked woman could be the galaxy's top physicist but all they are going to see is her tits and her ass."

Liara sighed. "I've spent the last 6 years around other species so I know how they are. I always dressed conservatively and I still experienced sexism. You've never been particularly shy about your body, Shepard, and you got males from every species to respect you."

"That's because I dumped these males on their asses when necessary. You put a male on his ass if need be, the blood returns to his brain and everything is fine. I don't want my daughter to have to deal with that."

"Why should the asari have to change the way we are because of other species' pathologies? We are going to raise our daughters as asari. We will also teach them to develop their biotics so if they need to, they will be able to dump any male or female on their ass. Now, if you'll excuse me, I forgot something in the car."

Shepard sat down and put Benezia in her lap.

"What a pretty swim suit you have on, sweetie! Now, listen to Daddy. You want to keep this suit on, sweetie. A girl should always keep her clothes on in public. A girl should have modesty and keep her clothes on even at the beach. Do you understand, Benezia? Do you understand modesty?"

Benezia was only 25 months old and Shepard had no idea how much she understood. She was encouraged when her daughter smiled up at her and said "Modste?"

"Yes, sweetie. Modesty. Every girl should have modesty. Now, you're going to keep your pretty suit on today, right? Because we are in public?"

"Yes, Daddy."

Shepard kissed Benezia on the nose and put her down on the blanket.

"That's Daddy's good girl! Now just wait here a minute while Daddy puts up this umbrella. Then Daddy will take you into the ocean."

Shepard stood up and tried to get the beach umbrella to open but the mechanism seemed to be stuck. Shepard struggled with the spokes that were supposed to keep the umbrella open. One of them appeared to be bent slightly which was causing the whole thing to collapse. It should have opened automatically at the touch of a button but it just was not cooperating.

"Damn….stupid….

Suddenly, Shepard saw Liara running towards her, pointing.

"Shepard! Benezia! Stop her!"

Shepard whirled around and saw her naked daughter running towards the water as fast as her little legs would take her. Benezia had thrown off her pretty suit as soon as Shepard stopped speaking to her and taken off running. Shepard dropped the umbrella and ran after her. Benezia had never even been in the ocean before. She did not know how to swim. Before she got to the water's edge, an asari stopped her. The asari grabbed her hand and bent over to talk to her.

"And who do you belong to, Pretty Girl?"

The question was soon answered as Shepard came running up.

"Thank you so much for grabbing her! She doesn't know how to swim and she's never been to the ocean before so she got excited."

The asari was completely naked except for a decorative belt around her waist and Shepard struggled to look only in her eyes.

"No problem. I come here a lot and we always have a few escapees who make a run for it. Someone always stops them before they get in trouble. Hey, you're Admiral Shepard, aren't you?"

The dreaded question that Shepard always got no matter where she went. The question always made her feel uncomfortable as people always treated her differently than they did other strangers. Shepard bent over and picked her daughter up.

"Yeah, that's me. Thanks again for stopping my daughter."

The woman moved closer to Shepard and tilted her head. Shepard pulled back before the woman could touch her arm.

"It's an honor to meet you, Admiral. My towel is right over there if you and your daughter would like to join me."

"No, thank you. I'm here with my wife. My pregnant wife."

"Oh yeah! I heard about her. You two stopped the Reapers. I can't believe I met you!"

"Well, thanks again. I should go."

Shepard walked back to Liara, stooping to pick up Benezia's suit pieces and her discarded diaper as she did.

"I see you've made a new friend? A new naked friend."

"That would be your daughter. Your exhibitionist daughter who threw off her clothes and made a run for it as soon as my back was turned."

"I like how she is your daughter when she is being good but she suddenly becomes my daughter when she does something you don't like."

Benezia started crying and squirming in Shepard's arms. She held out her arms towards the ocean.

"Want swim!" Benezia demanded.

"Okay but you have to put your suit back on."

Shepard struggled to put Benezia's suit back on her as Benezia fought back. Shepard sighed.

"Listen Bene. You have to put your suit back on before we can go to the water!"

"Just leave the suit off and take her in the water."

"She at least has to wear her bottoms. I doubt very much the other swimmers would appreciate any presents she might care to drop."

"Look around you. There are plenty of other small children here and none of them are wearing suits."

"Gross! I'm not so sure I want to go in the water."

"It's a big ocean, Shepard."

"Fine but when she becomes a sad stripper in some hellish club somewhere, I'm going to blame you! Come on, Bene. Let's go in the water."

Shepard put Benezia down to pull off her own cover-up. Almost immediately, Benezia took off running again. Shepard grabbed her hand before she could escape.

"You coming with us, Mommy?"

"You two go on ahead. I want to lay out in the sun a bit."

Shepard smiled mischievously at Liara. "Are you going to get naked?"

"I'm seven months pregnant. If I get naked, people might mistake me for a whale."

Shepard laughed. "A blue whale!" Shepard laughed again but quickly spoke again when she saw the not so amused look on Liara's face. "But that's not true. I can barely tell that you're pregnant and you're the most beautiful asari here."

"Uh huh. You better just take Benezia for a swim before she becomes hysterical crying."

Shepard picked up her fussing daughter once again and walked to the water's edge. Once there, she let her daughter down and held her hand as Benezia walked into the water. A gentle wave came up and hit her legs so she squealed and ran back out of the water, giggling through it all. She walked back towards the water's edge and this time screeched as the wave came at her. Shepard couldn't help but be reminded a little of a Banshee. The screeches that came out of her daughter were even more high-pitched and the sound drilled through her ears. She had heard human girls scream the same way but all little asari seemed to have that same high-pitched scream.

"Come on you Little Banshee. Let's go for a swim." Shepard held her daughter and walked into the water. Shepard held Benezia as she started kicking her legs and paddling her arms, trying to propel her way through the water. It was not long before Benezia was doggy paddling through the relatively placid water. Shepard moved a couple feet away from Benezia and urged her forward. "It's alright, Peanut. Daddy is right here. Come to Daddy."

To Shepard's amazement, Benezia swam to her and continued to swim towards her as she slowly moved back. The two continued to swim until Shepard could see that her daughter was getting fatigued. Benezia started to cry as Shepard carried her out of the water.

"It's okay, sweetie. We'll go back in later. Let's go see what Mommy is doing and get a little snack, okay?"

Benezia seemed to accept that offer as she stopped crying as Shepard swaggered back to Liara, a self-satisfied grin on her face.

"Liara! My daughter is already swimming! On her own. She's a natural athlete, just like her Dad."

"You mean, _our_ daughter is just like her Mother who was swimming on her own from right around the same age as Benezia."

"Maybe but she runs fast too. And she seems really coordinated for her age too. I'm pretty sure she is going to take after me. You want some lunch?"

"Yes! I'm starving. What do we have?"

"Cheeseburgers, of course. Let me just fire up the grill."

Shepard was bent over her portable grill, finishing up her own burger after feeding Liara and Benezia when two pairs of blue legs came into her view. Shepard let her eyes travel up the legs but tried to avoid looking at any parts between legs and face. She did not recognize the faces.

"It smells really good. What are you cooking?" One of the smiling girls? women? asked. Shepard noted the breasts and full hips, not that she was looking but it was exceedingly hard not to notice when there was not a stitch of cloth anywhere to hide anything. Their faces looked young and unblemished so they probably weren't older than 700 and since they had the hips, they were at least adolescents, if not full-blown maidens. That meant that they were anywhere between 20 or so and 700. _That narrows it down_.

"Well Ladies, they are called cheeseburgers and they are an Earth delicacy. Would either of you like to try one?"

"Yes, please", both maidens/matrons/matriarchs responded, with a smile.

"I assume you would both like some eezo seasoning?"

Both smiled again and nodded. Shepard gave them both a burger and they smiled again and finally left. Shepard heard one of them giggle and whisper to the other 'I can't believe that I got a grilled meat sandwich from Commander Shepard!' "It's a cheeseburger!" Shepard called after them. Shepard turned towards Liara.

"Okay, Liara. So those...asari who were just here. How old do you think they are?"

"Not even maidens yet. They were maybe around twenty-five which you would know if you actually looked at their faces instead of other areas."

"I did look at their faces and I did not look at anything else! It's impossible to tell how old you people are. It occurs to me that I might just lock our daughters away from 20 to say 100 because I can guarantee you that aliens, particularly alien males, will have no clue how young they actually are."

"I think Benezia might have something to say about that plan."

Shepard was just about to put the last cooked patty on a bun to chow down when she noticed Liara eyeing the burger. She finished fixing it, shook some of the eezo seasoning on it and passed it over to her bondmate. Liara shook her head.

"No. You take it. You haven't eaten yet."

"You are pregnant with our daughter and she is obviously still hungry. You can have it on one condition. I want a kiss first."

Liara leaned over with a smile on her face and gave her a sweet kiss. Her hand then moved to grab the plate. Her smile grew as she said, "Okay you got your kiss. Now hand it over."

Shepard only responded by adding two more patties to the grill. Just as they were almost done, Shepard saw another pair of legs in front of her. She once again looked up to see a smiling asari face.

"I'm sorry to bother you but whatever you are cooking smells absolutely wonderful. Might I ask you for a sample?"

Shepard fixed the burger for the asari. She didn't even bother to ask if she wanted the eezo seasoning, she just added it before passing it to her. Once the woman left, Shepard heard Liara laughing behind her. Shepard turned her head.

"Is this normal? Complete strangers coming up asking for food? Our food?"

"We are a very communal species and this is a very informal setting. I don't think any self-respecting asari would ever go up to someone's home and ask to be fed uninvited but in this setting, it would not be considered rude. And the smell is broadcasting…"

"I just don't get you people. On the one hand, you are all formal, overeducated rule-followers and on the other, you are a bunch of free-wheeling, naked hippies."

"Oh yes. Luckily, we now have the humans to show us consistency in thoughts and actions." Liara rolled her eyes. "Humans are so contradictory between cultures and individuals and oftentimes, within single individuals, that the only generalization that galactic sociologists have been able to make is that one can't make generalizations. Except perhaps, that you have a tendency towards violence."

Shepard was just about to bite into the last burger when another pair of legs appeared before her. Shepard dutifully took off the top bun, sprinkled the seasoning on it, replaced the bun and handed the burger to the awaiting smiling asari silently as Liara stifled her laughter behind her. Shepard fixed herself a plate of potato salad and cut open the watermelon that they had brought with them. The half-asleep Benezia, who had finally allowed at least a diaper to be placed on her, came back to alertness and toddled over to her father at the sight of the watermelon.

"Sewt, Daddy."

Shepard smiled at her daughter while handing her a piece of the melon. "Here you go, sweetie."

Shepard was just about to bite into some potato salad when another asari appeared before her.

"I'm sorry. There are no more burgers. We have no more meat to grill." Shepard said preemptively. The asari's face looked disappointed but she didn't leave right away. Shepard noticed her eyes fixed on the brightly-colored melon.

"May I ask what that is? Is it some kind of fruit? Is it sweet?"

"Yes, yes and yes. Would you like to try a slice?"

"Yes, please."

Shepard handed a slice of the watermelon to the asari as she issued a disclaimer. "Don't eat the rind. That's the green part."

"Thank you."

Shepard quickly shoveled the potato salad on her plate into her mouth before she could be interrupted again.

"If you are done feeding my people, would you like to go for a swim?"

"Yes, I've had such a big meal that I need to work it off." Shepard said as she rolled her eyes.

Liara laughed behind her. "Well, you could have said no. I've always said you were generous to a fault. Now you are letting people take food right out of your mouth almost."

"I didn't want to be rude. Besides, I'm trying to be a good ambassador for my people here. I'm pretty sure that if we can get the asari hooked on our burgers, then we humans will have you asari right where we want you."

"Oh really? You think that all it takes is food and you can have your way with us?"

Shepard smiled and leaned back towards Liara to steal a kiss. "I'm pretty sure that I had you right in my pocket once I gave you chocolate for the first time."

Before Liara could respond, Benezia interrupted while tugged at Shepard's hand. "No kiss Mommy! Swim Daddy!"

At that, Liara managed to get to her feet despite her belly, and began tickling her daughter.

"Yes, Daddy kiss Mommy! And now Mommy kiss you."

Liara covered Benezia's face with kisses as she squealed and giggled. Liara then scooped Benezia up into her arms and started walking towards the water. She turned back to Shepard.

"You coming, Daddy?"

Without any further prompting, Shepard jumped to her feet and walked with her bondmate and daughter to the water's edge. At the water, Liara hesitated but then removed her swimsuit before wading into the water. Liara then turned back around and held her hand out towards Benezia, who managed to take off her diaper before following her mother. Shepard stood with her mouth open, too shocked to even speak at first.

"Liara! There are hundreds of people here!"

"I'm sorry, Shepard. I was going to wear the suit to placate you but it just feels too strange to wear clothes when swimming. Why would anyone want to get their clothes wet?"

"It's a bathing suit, Liara. It's specifically designed to get wet!"

"Look around you, Shepard. Do you see any other asari wearing a suit in the water? You are in the minority here."

Shepard noticed that the only people wearing any kind of suits were the mostly salarian and turian bondmates. There wasn't a single asari, in or out of the water, who was wearing anything but a cover-up and that was rare.

"This is another of those things that you should have told me before we got married, Liara. 'Hey, you need to know that I'm a nudist and your daughters will be too.'"

Liara and Benezia were too busy laughing and swimming to pay any attention to the still muttering to herself Shepard.


	62. Chapter 62

Aethyta was stunned as she felt the cuffs lock around her wrists and she was pushed into the storage closet off Shepard's office. The door was then shut and locked. She knew that Shepard had a temper but she had no idea that Shepard would actually have the guts to do something like this to her.

"You need a time out Aethyta! Just like your granddaughter needs a time out when she does something bad. I want you to sit in there and think about what you did when you schemed with the other matriarchs. I want you to think about what a betrayal of trust that was! I treated you like family. I trusted you! And you betrayed that trust by conspiring with others, outsiders, and then plotting to manipulate me!"

"I'm old and it's cold in here. I could die."

"See, there you go trying to manipulate me again! How do you like being locked up? Because I didn't like it very much at all. Liara and I are going out to dinner. Then we're taking Benezia to the new Blasto cartoon. Think about how you betrayed me. Maybe if you see the error of your ways by the time we get back, I'll let you out."

"Are you going to spank me too, Shepard? Is this some kind of weird sex thing you have for me?"

"This is serious Aethyta. You violated a sacred trust. You broke one of the only rules that really matter."

Aethyta just kept quiet as Shepard lectured at her for a few more minutes. She waited until Shepard finally shut up and then waited some more until she could hear no more noise in the house. She then brought up her omnitool and popped open the lock on the closet door.

"Idiot! You put biotic dampening cuffs on me but leave me with my omnitool? Like I haven't taken all your passcodes to all your locks?" Aethyta mumbled to herself. Aethyta then closed her eyes and concentrated until a blue energy surrounded her wrists. The cuffs popped off.

"Really, Shepard? You think anti-biotic cuffs are going to work on me? What am I a hundred year old weakling? Just for that, I'm stealing some of your good stuff."

Aethyta went into the living room and got herself one of the snifter glasses from the bar. She put some ice in her glass. Aethyta then went back into Shepard's office and opened the 'secret' latch in Shepard's desk by running her omnitool over it. She pushed aside Shepard's 'secret' illegally-obtained handguns and reached under her classified Alliance documents until her hand wrapped around the bottle of the Special Edition Serrice Ice brandy in the back of the compartment. She poured herself a healthy shot from one of the most expensive bottles of liquor on all of Thessia and then poured a little more. She deserved it.

She then turned on Shepard's terminal and started going through her messages. She ignored the classified files from the Alliance. The other paranoid matriarchs had tried to get her to spy on Shepard's correspondence from the Alliance but Aethyta had refused. If there was one person Aethyta was sure would never allow the Alliance or anyone else to do anything to hurt Thessia or the asari, it was the Savior of the Galaxy. Aethyta opened a message from that female krogan, Bakara. Apparently, she and Wrex, head of the Urdnot clan, had another child together. Aethyta smiled. The stronger their union, the better it would be for the rest of the galaxy. Aethyta got bored with the messages and decided that she was hungry.

She went to the kitchen and looked in the freezer. She spotted some salmon hidden in the back. Aethyta had had it before at the T'Soni-Shepard household and she loved it. This was the wild-caught salmon that Shepard had shipped in special from Earth, not the vat-grown crap that was readily-available in Council space. It cost Shepard a small fortune to import from Earth and she was probably saving it for a special occasion but it served her right for trying to lock her in a room like she was a child. She cut herself a big portion and then wrapped the rest up and put it back where she found it. Shepard would never be the wiser.

After a delicious dinner, Aethyta brought her dirty dishes back into the kitchen and remembered that they didn't have their dishwasher hooked up yet. She could not fathom how it could be all these months later and they still hadn't hooked it up because of a stupid fight over where to put the damn thing. She brought the dishes and the pans she had used to cook her dinner over to the sink. She briefly considered washing them as there were no other dirty dishes in the sink but then decided against it. It wasn't her fault that the idiots didn't have their dishwasher hooked up yet and they weren't her dishes. She just left them in the sink. Shepard would forget that she had washed all the dishes and even if she didn't, she would have no proof that it was Aethyta who had used them. She then decided to have a little look at Liara's messages.

If Shepard's messages were boring, Liara's were excruciating. They were mostly from other academics about boring, minute pieces of Thessia's historical record. How a daughter of hers could actually find such crap interesting was beyond her. But then what did she expect from someone who had spent a good chuck of her 'wild' youth studying a long-gone race instead of getting out there and having fun like most other asari? Aethyta knew that Shepard was the only one that Liara had ever had sex with and she couldn't even imagine. Even Nezzie hadn't been that bad. She worried that after their honeymoon period was over, in a few decades or so, they would get bored with each other. She just hoped that they were smart enough to have some threesomes or foursomes or moresomes to spice things up a bit eventually.

Aethyta decided that she would talk to Shepard about it. Aethyta laughed out loud at the thought. She could almost see the blush on Shepard's face and the look of embarrassed rage. Besides the fun it would be to talk to her daughter-in-law about something that she, as a human, would consider completely inappropriate, it would also put the idea in her head where it would no doubt grow and eventually be transferred to Liara's head. Aethyta thought her daughter and Shepard were a good match and she genuinely hoped that they would stay bonded until Shepard's death. She knew that Liara would be devastated by Shepard's inevitable demise but if they managed to stay bonded that long, a part of Shepard would always remain with Liara and she would be able to turn to that as a source of strength and comfort until the day that Liara died even if she decided never to get bonded again. Aethyta knew that she might not have survived the Reaper War if it wasn't for that piece of Nezzie still in her mind, pushing her to survive and to never give up.

Aethyta decided that she needed more of the good stuff. After she poured herself another shot from Shepard's private stash, she sat down on the couch, put her feet up and watched some vids. A couple hours later, she woke up to the sound of the front door opening. Aethyta bolted off the couch and ran back to Shepard's office. She got back into the storage closet and was struggling to lock it when she realized that she forgot the cuffs on Shepard's desk. She ran back into the office, put the cuffs back on and had just managed to close and lock the closet when she heard Shepard enter the office.

"Aethyta? Are you ready to apologize?" Shepard knocked on the closet door.

"Okay, I apologize. I've learned my lesson."

Shepard was taken aback. She hadn't really expected Aethyta to ever apologize for anything despite how wrong she had been. She had expected her to be furious for locking her up so long.

"You're not mad? Do you even know what you're apologizing for?"

"I'm not mad. I realize that you're pissed because you confided in me about what really happened on the Citadel and you felt that I betrayed your trust when I and the other matriarchs decided to give you a job. I just want you to know that not one of them know what you told me and I will never, ever tell another soul. I only spoke to the other matriarchs about you because I was worried about you. I thought that you needed to get out of this house more because you were in your own damn head too much and I knew that you would never agree to it voluntarily."

Much of Shepard's anger had already dissipated and Shepard had to admit that it wasn't that bad having a part-time job. It made her feel more like her old self to be helping to rebuild Thessia. But she did not at all appreciate how she had been set-up and manipulated. She was also sure that if they had asked her, she would have helped anyway. Shepard opened the door to let Aethyta out. Shepard folded her arms and stood in front of the seated Aethyta.

"I disagree. If you or the other matriarchs had explained the need to me and asked me nicely, I would have volunteered. Regardless, it should have been MY decision to make."

"I see that now. I'm sorry. Now, are you going to let me out of these?" Aethyta held up the cuffs. "My wrists are killing me and I'm too old to be trapped in such a small space for hours."

Aethyta made a show of being slow to stand up until Shepard leaned forward to help her up. Shepard then unlocked the cuffs.

"Are you alright?"

"My legs ache from being trapped in here so long but I'll survive."

Shepard started to feel a little guilty. Maybe she had overreacted a little. Aethyta was an old woman and it was pretty rotten to lock up an old lady no matter how much she deserved it. Shepard forgot how old Aethyta was because she always seemed so strong. Shepard smiled and gave Aethyta a little hug.

"I know, do you want to put Bene to bed? You can read her a story and then come down and I'll make you some tea and a little snack. Are you hungry?"

"Starving. You locked me in here before I ate dinner. When you get older, you can't go for that many hours without eating or it fucks up your blood sugar and you start to feel faint."

"Come on. Go tuck Bene in and then I'll make you whatever you want."

When Shepard entered the kitchen, she noticed the dishes and pans in the sink. She could have sworn that she had washed all the dishes that afternoon. She called into Liara in the living room.

"Liara, did you put these dishes in here?"

"No, I haven't used any dishes since breakfast."

Liara thought it odd when she saw the vid screen on. She could have sworn that they had turned it off before they had left for the evening. She went to the shot glass on the end table and sniffed. She didn't think that Shepard had had any drinks that day and she knew that she hadn't. It smelled like Shepard's brandy that she liked so much but what Liara really smelled was a rat. Just as she was about to talk to Shepard about it, Aethyta came down and sat on the couch. Liara glared at her, holding the glass. Aethyta just shrugged and whispered fiercely "she put me in anti-biotic cuffs!" Liara had to admit that she thought that Shepard had gone too far. She just rolled her eyes at Aethyta and hissed back "maybe you'll think twice before setting Shepard up again."

"You know damn well that the matriarchs have been 'guiding' the young for tens of thousands of years on Thessia and that isn't going to change just because the Great Commander Shepard doesn't like it." Aethyta hissed back. "And you also have to admit that she's better now!"

Liara had to acknowledge that both statements were true. "You just better not tell any of the other matriarchs what she confided to you or I will do worse." Liara said, still whispering.

"I haven't and I won't. They don't need to know that. It has no bearing on the future."

Just then, Shepard came in with two steaming cups of tea and gave one to each woman.

"Okay Ladies. What can I get you?" Shepard said smiling. Liara glared at Aethyta again.

"Actually, I think I'm feeling tired and I'll just go home."

Shepard put a hand on Aethyta's shoulder and smiled.

"I won't hear of it. Let me at least make you something before you go. If you're too tired to drive afterward, I'll take you home. I'm not mad anymore, I promise."

Aethyta gave a smug smile to Liara and settled deeper into the couch as Liara rolled her eyes.

"I guess I could go for one of those grilled cheese sandwiches that you make. With that Earth cheese…what's it called? Cheddar? If it's not too much trouble, of course."

"Not at all. Liara, you want one? Or something else?"

"I'll just have some toast, thank you."

"Coming right up."

Liara had to hand it to her Father. The woman was smart. She knew Shepard's weaknesses and played her like a fiddle. She also had to admit that Aethyta had only ever acted out of concern when it came to both of them, at least in her own mind.

"So, you two melding regularly? How good is the sex? You know if you ever get bored, you can have other partners and still be in a committed…" Aethyta saw the withering look on Liara's face and decided to shut up. She'd bring it up to Shepard at another time perhaps.


	63. Chapter 63

Shepard sat in front of her terminal in her office, looking at the older woman on the screen. She was trying her best 'sad face' to try to convince her reluctant friend.

"I know it's a lot to ask but I'd really appreciate it if you could make it to Thessia for the birth, Karin."

Karin Chakwas sighed. "You do realize that I have a five month old myself. And Greg is fearless when it comes to engines but still rather terrified when it comes to babies, even his own."

"I know, I know. But I'd just feel so much better if you were here. You delivered Benezia and you were Liara's primary physician for years. You know her better than anyone. Not to mention, Liara insists on giving birth in one of these birthing centers and having a midwife instead of a real doctor. It all seems so barbaric."

"On the contrary, the asari have been having children for millennium this way and their midwives are highly skilled and experienced professionals. They have a far lower infant mortality rate than we do, even with all our medical advances."

"I don't know. Midwife just seems like another word for witch doctor to me. And can you please not say 'infant mortality' right now!"

Chakwas sighed again. "Who is the midwife who will be presiding?"

"I don't know. Some lady named Angle, Agile, Aegle. She's a matriarch, I know that."

Chakwas laughed. "Shepard, she is the most respected midwife in the entire galaxy. When I was preparing to assist in delivering Benezia, I looked up articles written about asari childbirth in the databanks and they were written by this woman and there are hundreds of them. Liara will be in very good hands."

Shepard sighed and looked down. "Okay, I understand. You're too busy. I get it."

"Don't you dare sulk, Admiral. You're far too old and it didn't work when we were on the Normandy and it won't work now."

At this point, Liara entered the room and appeared behind Shepard's shoulder.

"Karin! It's so good to see you again. How is Erica?"

"She is very well, Liara and growing like a weed. I can't believe that they grow so fast at this age. She's twice the weight that she was when she was born!"

"I know all about that. I just can't comprehend that Benezia is almost two and a half years old. It seems like only yesterday, she was born on the Normandy."

"So much has happened to me since then, I am still in shock. How is our little girl doing?"

"She's doing very well. Another year and she'll be in pre-school. We are trying to convince her of the value of having a sister but I am afraid that she is not convinced yet."

Doctor Chakwas laughed. "At least I will not have to worry about sibling rivalry with Erica."

"Never say never, Doctor."

Shepard sighed and rolled her eyes. "Excuse me, Liara, but you two can chit chat later. I was having a private conversation with the Doc here."

"Our conversation was over Shepard. The best answer I can give you is 'I'll think about it'."

"Actually, I needed to speak to Karin. Alone, if you don't mind, Shepard."

Shepard let out an exasperated sigh and looked first at Liara and then at Karin. Finally, seeing no break in the countenance of either woman's face, she sighed dramatically once again and threw herself out of the room.

"So how are you really, Liara?"

Liara gave Karin a genuine smile. "I'm very well actually. Benezia is doing well, Shepard is doing well, my job is going along well."

"And your nightmares…?"

"Are less. As are Shepard's. I'm afraid to say it out loud least I jinx us but everything is going remarkable well. How are you and Greg and Erica really?"

Karin let out a little laugh.

"We are holding our own. Greg and I were both committed bachelors for many years and neither of us expected to be parents at this point in our lives. It has been an adjustment to say the least." Karin smiled. "Despite the challenges, I think we all three are happy at the moment."

"And I am very happy to hear that." Liara hesitated for a moment. "I really hate to intrude upon that happiness but I would really consider it a huge personal favor if you could make it out to Thessia for the birth. Not for me or the baby but…you know how Shepard can be a little…excessively energetic and intense? Especially when she feels like there is nothing she can do to help people she cares about?"

"Say no more, Liara. I'm sure that Greg will be able to manage Erica for a little while and I'm sure that I can get a leave of absence. I'm a little concerned about the paperwork involved in getting permission to visit Thessia…"

"I will do it for you. I will list you as my personal physician and we should be able to get abbreviated processing for the birth. I can't thank you enough, Karin. I'm sure Shepard will be thrilled as well. If there is any way that I can repay you, please do not hesitate to ask."

Doctor Chakwas smiled and joked, "depending on how badly our patient reacts, you might just owe me a very BIG favor."

Liara gently shook Shepard's shoulder in the darkened room. Shepard was still fast asleep in their bedroom while Liara stood beside her, fully dressed and trying to wake her gently.

"Wake up, love. I think it's time."

Shepard's only response was to snore a little louder. Liara shook her a little more insistently and spoke a little louder.

"Shepard. The baby is coming. We have to get to the birthing center."

After a split second, Shepard's eyes popped wide open and her whole body tensed. She finally located Liara standing next to the bed and looked at her solemnly.

"This is it, isn't it?"

"Yes, I think so, love."

"Right. I'm on it."

With that, Shepard bolted upright from the bed in full flight or fight mode. She took a single long stride towards the door, her foot got tangled in the bed covers and she promptly face-planted. Not one to be vanquished by a duvet, she quickly bolted to her feet again before Liara could even ask if she were okay.

"Okay, Forward. I'll go get the car."

Shepard was about to leave the bedroom when Liara stopped her again.

"Shepard. You might want to put on clothes first. If my father sees you running into the night again in that outfit, she might try to have you committed."

"Right, clothes. Shouldn't you get dressed too?"

"I'm already dressed and ready to go, Shepard."

Shepard threw on a shirt and some pants and was out the bedroom door before Liara moved from her spot near the bed. Shepard then burst into each guest room and shouted "Out of bed now! She's coming!" Garrus, still half-asleep, had already grabbed the rifle that Shepard had loaned him for his stay and was half in his armor when he finally realized that Shepard meant the baby and not some deadly foe. Tali, for her part, peed a little in her suit at the abrupt awakening. Doctor Chakwas just mumbled under her breathe about neurotic fathers and how she almost had a heart attack. By this time, Liara caught up, apologized to first Garrus and Tali and then Doctor Chakwas and calmly told them to please get dressed as they would be leaving for the birthing center shortly.

Moments later, Shepard returned to the apartment and shouted up from the front door.

"Car's ready. Double-time it, people! Go, go, go!"

Shepard waited impatiently at the door as they each filed out. Liara and Doctor looked at each other and Chakwas nodded at her and gently touched her back. "I'll take care of it. Don't you worry, my dear."

The car was silent as Shepard maneuvered the Elkoss six-passenger family skycar through the still dark thoroughfares. Suddenly, Liara became panicked from the backseat.

"Shepard! We have to go back to the apartment!"

"No. It's okay. I threw your bag in the trunk."

"Shepard! Stop!"

"It's okay Liara. I know I'm driving a little fast and you don't like that but we're fine. I got this."

"Shepard! Go back! We left Benezia!"

Shepard's head whirled around as she searched the back of the car.

"Shit! Hold on!"

Shepard then slammed on the brakes at the same time she pushed the car up higher above the lane of traffic and performed a 180 degree turn. The skycar groaned as did the passengers in the vehicle as Shepard pushed the Elkoss six-passenger family skycar into a maneuver that Elkoss six-passenger family skycars were just not designed to perform. Luckily, the vehicle held together. The passengers fared less well.

Tali exclaimed, "I'm having a flashback!"

"A Mako flashback?", Garrus asked.

"Yes!", Tali responded through gritted teeth.

"It's okay, sweetheart, I'm right here", Garrus said to Tali while wrapping an arm around her.

"All those years, I thought that you all were just a bunch of babies and were exaggerating about Shepard's driving." Doctor Chakwas continued. "Now I see that it was all true!"

When they arrived back at the apartment far too quickly than should have been possible if legal speed limits and the rules of common sense were adhered to, Shepard was out the door before the vehicle even came to a complete stop.

"Be right back!" Shepard threw over her shoulder while bounding up the steps.

"Quick, Garrus. Get in the driver's seat." Liara said.

"I don't know. Shepard will be mad and…"

"Just get in the damn driver's seat, Garrus!", Tali exclaimed.

When Shepard came back out moments later carrying her still half-sleep daughter in her arms, she was out of breath and sweating. She gently put Benezia in the seat next to Doctor Chakwas in the furthest back row and then scowled at Garrus.

"Move it, Garrus. I'm driving."

"Your bondmate needs you next to her, Shepard." Doctor Chakwas explained. Shepard reluctantly got in the seat next to Liara.

"Just step on it, Garrus. Don't drive like a Granny like you usually do."

As they got back in the air, Doctor Chakwas leaned over the seat in front of her and handed two pills to Shepard.

"Take these."

Shepard eyed the pills suspiciously but popped them in her mouth anyway. Years of being under Doctor Chakwas's care made her one of the few people whose orders Shepard obeyed without question as Shepard knew that arguing did nothing but prolong the inevitable. Before Shepard could even ask what they were, Liara's body tensed up and she closed her eyes in pain as another contraction overcame her. Shepard put her arm around Liara and kissed her forehead.

"It's okay, sweetheart. We're all here and everything is going to be just fine." Despite the words of encouragement, Shepard reached forward and smacked Garrus on the shoulder, urging him to drive faster.

Karin Chakwas stood with Matriarch Aegle as Shepard continued bringing in clean towels. The piles of clean towels stood in the corner of the room, some of them over four feet high. Shepard turned to Chakwas and asked "Do we need more clean towels, Doctor?"

Karin smiled at Shepard and replied "I think that should do it with the towels. How about that boiling water and please be careful not to burn yourself with it."

Shepard looked at Chakwas with eyes set with determination and said "Right. I'm on it."

"As I was saying, Matriarch. I am here at the request of the parents but I defer to your expertise. I'm very much looking forward to seeing the asari birth practices in person. Please do not see my presence as a sign of disrespect."

"Of course not. It is always good to have another medical professional present. I don't anticipate any problems as both mother and child appear to be very healthy but sometimes emergencies occur when we least expect them."

"So true. How does it feel to be the person who has delivered more babies than anyone else in the galaxy?"

"It is truly an honor to be able to welcome so many into this existence. Even after all these years, it still makes me happy to see a baby and her parents introduced for the first time. I've been very lucky to have an occupation that I have truly enjoyed for so many centuries."

"I can imagine. I fumbled my way through the birth of Liara's first daughter and it was such a joy to all of us during a very uncertain time. How did you come to be Liara's midwife?"

"I was the midwife for her mother when Liara was born. I love being able to help deliver children to people who I also helped to deliver when they were born. It affords me such a unique long-view perspective."

"I can imagine. Although I'm sure that you usually have to wait a much longer time between the two births than in this case."

"Very true. Liara is young to be having children but it is not completely unheard of. Luckily, Liara is very healthy and strong so I hope that her age does not play too big a part."

By this time, Shepard had returned with a large pot full of water.

"Where does this go?" Shepard asked.

"Just put it in the corner with the towels, please."

Shepard put the pot down and then ran out the door once again.

Matriarch Aegle looked at Chakwas with a confused expression on her face.

"I am curious, Doctor. Do human births always involve towels and boiled water?"

Chakwas chuckled softly and leaned towards the midwife conspiratorially.

"The towels and boiled water are just for our human patient. To give her something to do. I gave her a mild sedative earlier but she still needs to burn off some nervous energy before she can be of any use to Liara and her new daughter."

"Ah. The helpless father. It is a common phenomenon with the asari as well. We usually prescribe meditation."

"I'm afraid that wouldn't work for this patient. She needs to do something physical."

"Turians are often like that as well. They are used to action. I have had to ban several turian fathers from the birthing room because they just bring too much nervous energy to the mothers and their babies. Salarians and volus, despite being high-strung races overall, tend to be incredibly patient and calm during the birthing process." The Matriarch smiled as Shepard brought in another large pot of water before quickly running out of the room again. "But why so many towels and so much boiled water?"

Chakwas chuckled again. "Once upon a time, long ago…well, perhaps not so long ago for you...humans did not always have access to clean water so it would have to be boiled to rid it of all pathogens before it could be used to clean the mother and child. Before modern times, an actual sharp object was also used to make incisions and to cut the umbilical cord so the boiling water was used to sterilize those instruments as well. Of course, these practices ended long ago but the myth of the need for plentiful clean towels and boiling water persists and is still seen in almost all vids that show the birth of a child outside of a hospital setting. Hence, our human patient did not even question the need when I asked."

The human patient returned, this time carrying a large machine. Sweat was now beading on Shepard's face as she awkwardly hoisted the large machine into the room.

"Doc. They don't have an efficient way to boil water here so I just brought in the hot tea machine. We should be able to get plenty of boiling water on demand if I can just find a power conduit. Can you believe that this is a so-called birthing center and they don't have efficient ways to boil water? What is the boiling water actually used for anyway? You're not going to put my daughter in hot water, are you?!"

"Of course not, Shepard. That's just fine. Now, if you go find just a few more towels, it should almost be time to begin."

Chakwas noticed that Shepard was starting to slow down and she appeared much calmer. The sedative was starting to hit.

"Goddess! Did I just see her carry a machine in here? Without biotics? It must weigh 90 kilograms!"

"She'll be fine. She's very strong. Shall we go see to our other patient?"

"Yes. It should shortly be time to begin."

When Doctor Chakwas and Matriarch Aegle entered the birthing chamber, Liara was already sitting in the birthing pool with Tali by her side, holding her hand. The Matriarch examined Liara.

"It would appear that our girl is impatient and anxious to enter the world. Could someone please go get the father? Liara. I'm afraid that your daughter is in a hurry which makes it more likely that tearing will occur. Are you sure that you wouldn't like some more extensive pain medication to be administered?"

"I will be fine. Unlike last time, now I have both my bondmate and my father to help both me and the baby."

At that point, Shepard ran into the room. Completely unconcerned with the presence of Tali or Doctor Chakwas or Garrus or even the Midwife and her assistant whom she had never met before, Shepard quickly shucked off her clothes and then gently slid in behind Liara in the birthing tub. Shepard started massaging Liara's lower back as they had practiced. Garrus, for his part, suddenly became very aware that he was the only male in the room.

"Should I even be in here?" Garrus whispered to Tali.

"Of course! Don't you want to see the birth of your proxy daughter?"

Garrus thought about it for a moment and whispered back "I want to see my proxy daughter. I'm good with not actually seeing her being born."

Tali just sighed and moved closer to Liara's side leaving Garrus standing awkwardly alone, completely unsure what to do with himself.

Suddenly Liara's whole body tensed and she let out a cry. She tried to breathe through the pain as she had practiced but the pain was suddenly very intense. Matriarch Aegle looked at Shepard and asked "Are you calm? Can you help her?"

Instead of responding, Shepard whispered in Liara's ear.

"Meld with me, sweetheart. Let me take some of your pain."

"Don't…want…to hurt you." Liara said through gritted teeth.

"Trust me, sweetheart. Meld with me."

Liara suddenly reached out to Shepard and Shepard gasped at the flood of physical pain and emotional fear and worry. Shepard closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel as much of it as possible. She then pushed the pain and fear to the furthest reaches of her (now their) mind and then thought of how excited she was to be having a new daughter, her plans for the future, how much she loved Liara and Benezia and now, their soon to be born second daughter. Liara actually smiled as the pain dulled and the positive feelings flooded her mind. Shepard also felt the usual fuzzy, contented presence of her unborn daughter through the meld. Both parents tried their hardest to keep the negative physical feelings and emotions away from the tiny consciousness.

'Wow. You are actually very good at that. How did you learn how to do that?' Liara asked through the meld.

'Another occupational skill that I learned long ago.'

The mid-wife smiled at Shepard as she gently coaxed Liara out of the water slightly. The mid-wife examined Liara and then turned towards Tali.

"Ms. Zorah, will you be so kind as to go get the grandfather? We will need her help very shortly as our baby seems to be in a rush to make her appearance."

Tali let go of Liara's hand and jumped up to go get Atheyta, who was watching her oldest granddaughter in the play area set up for siblings too young to be in the birthing room to watch the arrival of their newest sisters. Benezia, at less than three years old, definitely fell into that category as it was not uncommon for asari sisters to be decades apart in age.

Soon after, Shepard became aware of several things happening almost simultaneously. First, she felt a wave of intense fear come over her through the meld and she realized that it was her daughter, who somehow realized that her existence was about to change dramatically. Both she and Liara tried to send wordless positive feelings to the tiny consciousness in an effort to calm their daughter. Shepard then became aware of another presence, this one strong, calm and confident, as Aethyta put her hand on her daughter's stomach and then turned her attention to her granddaughter.

'You two just concentrate on staying calm and keeping each other calm. I will take care of the little one.'

Shepard heard the thought from Aethyta while at the same time she felt her daughter's fear evaporate as she was comforted by her grandfather. A few moments later, Shepard felt an intense stab of pain as her daughter's head crested and Liara began to tear. Shepard did her best to take the pain and dull it as she had done previously. She then heard a thud as she became aware of someone out in the physical world hitting the floor. 'Garrus? Was that Garrus who fainted?!' Shepard thought and felt the responding mix of emotions from Liara-confusion, concern and finally a touch of amusement. Their attention was soon brought back to their daughter as Liara was urged to bear down again.

Shepard could feel the painful pressure that Liara was experiencing, the fatigued muscles, her daughter's presence as well as Aethyta's presence until finally; she experienced an odd sensation as her daughter pushed out of Liara's birth canal and into Aethyta's arms. Then it was just her and Liara alone in the meld as Shepard felt Liara's anxiety build as she tried to examine her daughter to reassure herself that she was alright.

Shepard opened her eyes and craned her head around Liara's head to see their newborn. She felt Liara's relief and joy as they saw their baby for the first time. The baby was quickly scanned and cleaned before being pressed into Liara's arms. Shepard put her arms around both of them as they both thought the same thing at the same time: 'she's perfect'.

The Matriarch urged Liara out of the water enough so that she could be examined and her wound cleaned and sealed. Aethyta then took the newborn as both women were urged out of the water, dressed in robes by the assistant and brought over to the awaiting recovery bed. Aethyta came over to them and put their daughter in Shepard's arms. Aethyta smiled at Liara and patted her leg.

"You done good, Kid. You too, Knucklehead. She's just about perfect."

"You weren't too shabby yourself. I'm amazed at how quickly you were able to calm her." Shepard responded. Liara looked up from her baby and smiled at her father.

"Thank you for the help, Dad. Despite the rush, this birth was so much easier than Benezia."

A few feet away, Aegle and Chakwas looked at the family with smiles on their faces.

"I am amazed at how calm that birth was, at least outwardly. There was no screaming and crying and the baby still looks perfectly content. And all without pain or numbing medication. I know that the meld helps a lot with that but what happens when there are no grandparents or bondmate around to help?"

"That's when I step in and initiate the meld myself. We realized long ago that the separation of mother and child so suddenly can be terrifying for the newborn. The goal is to make the transition as painless and fearless as possible for both mother and daughter. There are some studies which show that those born with the assistance of an outside meld have fewer emotional and functioning problems as adults."

"Fascinating. We humans focus almost entirely on the physical and just assume that the emotional trauma of birth will quickly fade from memory with no lasting effects. Have you considered offering your services to humans as well?"

"I have delivered a few human babies but I find that many humans are more terrified of having a strange asari woman in their heads than they are of the trauma of birth."

Chakwas smiled. "Well, I for one would have loved to have your assistance when I gave birth not too long ago. I'm afraid that I was terrified and in a lot of pain. I think I called my partner every obscene name in the book. Poor Greg. In my defense, doctors always make the worse patients."

"Well Doctor. If you ever find yourself pregnant again, I would be happy to offer my services."

Before Chakwas could respond how unlikely that was to be, Benezia ran in the room with Tali and Garrus in tow. Shepard saw her daughter and reached down an arm to scoop her onto the bed.

"Hello Peanut. Come meet your new baby sister."

Benezia peered at the bundle in her father's arms and scrunched up her face.

"She ugly", Benezia declared.

Both her parents laughed and Liara pulled Benezia into her arms.

"She's beautiful. Just like you."

"No." Benezia scrunched up her face even further. "She looks like this."

"That's because she was just born. All newborns look like that."

"Not me!"

"Yes, you too." Liara told her while kissing her daughter's nose.

"Do you want to hold her?" Shepard asked.

Benezia only shrugged.

"Okay. Sit up against the pillows and hold your arms like this." Liara instructed.

Benezia did so and Shepard gently placed the baby in Benezia's arms.

"Make sure to support her head. She is very young and very weak. She depends on us to do everything for her and you are her big sister. Even when she gets bigger, you will always be older. You will always be her big sister. She will always need you to protect her and show her how to do things."

Benezia seemed to like that idea as she sat up straighter, squared her tiny shoulders and held her sister a little closer, apparently having inherited Shepard's protective streak and sense of duty.

"Have you decided what you're going to call my proxy daughter?" Garrus asked.

"We have decided to name her Edi."

Both Garrus and Tali looked at Shepard meaningfully.

"A good choice." Garrus responded.

"I'm sure that her namesake would be very proud." Tali said. "Do I get a chance to hold her?"

"Of course! Come take her from Benezia."

They watched Tali and Garrus coo over Edi for a few moments until both Liara and Shepard started yawning, struggling to keep their eyes open while Benezia got restless.

"Can I go play?" Benezia asked.

"Yes. Your mother and I need a nap. Maybe your Uncle Swoon will take you back to the play area?"

Tali and Liara both laughed as Shepard gave Garrus a lopsided grin. Garrus cleared his throat before starting a rigorous defense.

"Well, I haven't really slept well in days…and I haven't eaten in at least 18 hours. Low blood sugar, I'm sure that's all it was."

"Uh huh, low blood sugar, I'm sure that's it. It wasn't emotional distress or anything because you're too tough for that." Shepard responded with the grin never leaving her face.

"There's a reason turian males do not witness their children's births. We can't stand to see people we care about in pain when there is nothing we can go about it. There isn't even anything that we can shoot! It just looked so painful and then there was all that blood… Are you sure you're alright Liara?"

"I am fine, Garrus. It was very painful but is only a dull ache now. And it was well worth it. Just look at how beautiful she is!"

"Oh Garrus. Look at her. Look at how sweet and little she is. Don't you want one of our own?"

"I can't put you through that, Tali. Even if they have found a way to combine turian and quarian DNA, it's too big a risk. Turian children are big!"

"It's not up to you alone to decide if the risk is too great or not!"

"Come on, Garrus. I think you'd make a great Dad. Not as good as me, mind you, but great. And if you two do decide to have a kid, we'd be there to support you when the kid is born. Literally, if needed."

Garrus picked up Benezia and started leaving the room.

"Come on, Bene. There is a case of Baby Fever in this room and it is catching."

Tali continued holding Edi tightly and cooing until the Matriarch and Chakwas came closer.

"Ms. Zorah, I think it would be best if we left the parents and their newborn alone for a while. The birth and the birthing meld are exhausting for mother and child. After a few hours' sleep, we will do some final scans and then I see no reason why you can't return to your home this afternoon." The Matriarch counseled.

"I can see why the Baby and Liara are so sleepy but I can't figure out why I feel so tired. Unless, of course, my friend and personal physician drugged me without my knowledge or consent." Shepard glared are Chakwas. "And I didn't see a lot of towels or boiled water used in the birth."

Chakwas smiled and then had the temerity to actually wink at Shepard.

"I regret nothing. Both prescriptions were indicated and in the best interests of all involved."

Shepard's face finally broke into a smile.

"Thank you for being here, Karin. I appreciate it. And thank you Matriarch Aegle."

"It was my pleasure and my honor, Ms. Shepard. Now, we will leave you three alone."

After both doctors left, Liara and Shepard were left alone with their daughter for the first time. Edi was sleeping soundly between the two women who were curled around her, facing each other. Liara had tears in her droopy eyes when she reached out to caress her baby's crest. She then looked at Shepard and reached out her hand to brush the hair off Shepard's forehead.

"After ten months of worry, she's here and she's just fine. Thank you, Shepard."

"Thank me? Thank you. You did all the work. Thank you for being my bondmate. Thank you for giving me two beautiful daughters." Shepard struggled to keep herself from crying. "I almost can't believe that it was only about a year and a half ago when I was alone and thought that this happiness was not possible for me…"

"Thank you for being there when we got back so that we could have this day." Liara smiled through her tears, her eyes drooping even further. "Thank you for being such a 'tough, old bitch'".

Shepard chuckled softly. "Old? Who are you to be calling me old?"

Both women soon fell asleep, smiles still on their lips.


	64. Chapter 64

Shepard heard the door chime and opened it to find Samara standing at their doorstep. Shepard resisted the urge to give her friend a hug, knowing that it would only make Samara feel awkward. Instead she grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze, smiling as she did so.

"It's very good to see you Samara. I was starting to get worried because I hadn't heard from you in a while. Please, come on in."

"And it is good to see you, Shepard. My many duties have kept me away from Thessia but I am glad that you are here so that we could meet again."

"Come on into the kitchen. Liara's in there. I think you're going to like the dinner that I've prepared."

"Dinner that you've prepared?"

"Oh come on. Don't be so skeptical! I've actually become quite the cook. Just ask Liara."

A few hours after dinner, the three women sat around the table talking. Edi was down for the night even though she would, no doubt, wake up in a few hours to be feed again. Benezia, after literally running circles around everyone after dinner, finally succumbed to weariness and allowed herself to be put to bed amid strong protests. The drinks were flowing and Shepard noticed with satisfaction that even Samara seemed to be relaxed and enjoying herself.

"I seem to remember you coming to see me on the observation deck quite often. You were very...friendly." Samara said with the slightest of smiles on her face.

Liara read between the lines and sighed.

"Please tell me, Shepard, that you did not make a pass at a justicar!"

"What? I didn't do that! I visited all my crewmen. To get to know them. It's good for morale and for group cohesion! It's my leadership style!"

"I seem to remember one instance where the conversation went in a more...personal direction. When you asked me if I missed having romantic engagements."

Liara put her face in her hands briefly before lifting her head again and speaking. "I apologize for her behavior, Samara. I'm sorry if she made you feel uncomfortable."

"Hey! That was before we were bonded, Liara. You can't apologize for things I did before we got married!"

"Sorry. I've had to do it so often since we got to Thessia, that it's become a habit."

"Ha Ha. I'm not that bad. Just a little culture shock thing going on. And I did not make a pass at Samara." Shepard thought about it a moment. "Maybe I made a friendly inquiry but that was it."

Samara spoke to Liara directly. "I remember being amused and flattered more than uncomfortable. Shepard does have a way of being so honest and sincere, that it's difficult to be offended by the things that she says even when they are inappropriate."

"That's part of her schtick. I now know, without a doubt, that she had other things on her mind besides 'group cohesion' when she spoke with you."

"It's not a schtick! I was genuinely concerned about her welfare. I just wanted to see what was what." Shepard flashed her most charming smile. "I don't want my crewmen to be lonely if there is something I can do to help it."

Shepard looked at Liara and saw that she was not amused. Shepard grabbed Liara's hand on the table in front of her and caressed it with her thumb.

"Remember, this was before we got back together and I was lonely and confused. I was so distraught that I had lost you, I'm surprised that I didn't hit on Grunt."

Liara rolled her eyes. "Oh yes, because I cruelly rejected you. You came back to life after dying on me, which almost killed me by the way, and I was just supposed to immediately drop everything and follow you around the galaxy again. Like you had just returned from the mall and I was just waiting for two years for you to swing by and pick me up."

Shepard chuckled. "As selfish and naïve as it sounds, that's exactly what I was hoping would happen when we met again. When it didn't, my little heart was broken. I did some stupid things in response."

Liara just sighed again and shook her head. "So you hit on Samara, a justicar? And how many others? Did you go to the convents on Earth and hit on the Nuns too?"

"I would probably do well with the Nuns. Many of them are just repressed lesbians."

Samara spoke up. "I assure you, Shepard. I am not repressed. I had casual sex with hundreds of partners for hundreds of years in my youth. If I had been younger and had not yet dedicated myself to the code when we met, I might have thrown you on the floor and had my way with you."

The smile left Shepard's face and she stared at Samara in stunned silence for a moment until Liara started laughing at her. Shepard turned to Liara.

"You see. That's no Nun. She said things like that to me on the Normandy and what is a feeble, human mind to think of after hearing such things? It's like telling a human NOT to think about pink elephants!"

"I think your feeble, human mind might be particularly vulnerable to such words."

Shepard addressed Samara. "Speaking about chats with my crewmen, I bet you don't know what a tease Liara is."

"Shepard!"

"Back on the original Normandy, she told me that she was attracted to me. She then proceeded to tell me about the meld and what a, and I quote, a rapturous, life-changing experience it is. And then you know what she does? She makes me wait. Just leaves me hanging. With death possible at any moment. For what seemed like forever."

Liara typed into her omnitool. "It was 32 galactic standard days. Only 32 days between the day you saved me on Therum and the day that I was in your bed for the first time. Not exactly a long courtship by asari standards. And it hardly makes me a tease."

"Hmmm. Are you sure it was only 32 days? Felt like a lot longer to me." Shepard asked. Liara punched at her omnitool again.

"And before you try to argue any further about how I tortured you, it was only 48 days between the first time I met you again on Ilium and when we were together again on… when we were together again after your resurrection." Liara stopped herself from saying 'Hagalaz'. There were just certain things that one did not voluntarily reveal to a Justicar, even a friendly one.

"That can't be right. I felt like I was being tortured for months, at least."

"I think we have a different conception of time, Shepard. When we first met, I felt like I was caught up in a whirlwind. Like I barely had time to breath. Goddess, I remember feeling so overwhelmed with all the new experiences and these strange new feelings that I had towards you. I was so nervous. And I remember thinking that I didn't want to conform to asari stereotypes about horny maidens wandering the galaxy looking for exotic sexual partners."

"If you look at early human science fiction books and vids, you will see that the only reason we ever wanted to go to the stars is for riches and so that we could have sex with hot aliens." Shepard thought about it for a moment. "Actually, if you look at our even earlier adventure and exploration writings, the only reason we ever went anywhere was for riches and the chance to have sex with exotics."

Shepard caught a glimpse of something in Samara's eye as she listened to the banter between her and Liara. Maybe a touch of sadness? She had seen a similar look in Samara's eye when Benezia had insisted on sitting on Samara's lap and showing Samara some of her 'artwork'. Shepard decided to change the subject.

"Listen to us. We sound like an old married couple boring our guest with stories about when we met. Tell us how you are really doing, Samara."

"I am well. Though my work often brings me into contact with those who have lost so much, they are grateful when someone listens to them and helps to bring them justice. It brings me a sense of satisfaction."

"Glad to hear it. And how is Falere?"

Shepard noticed another tiny crack in the façade at the mention of Samara's daughter. Only instead of sadness, it was a look of pride.

"She is well. She has been granted permission to visit Thessia soon and she is very much looking forward to her visit."

"Really? We'd love to see her again. You will both stay with us, of course." Shepard said.

"That will not be necessary. The monastery collects donations so that visiting Ardat Yakshi can find secure lodging."

"That's great but you don't need it. We've got plenty of guest rooms. You will both stay right here. I insist."

"I don't think that you understand. Falere is an Ardat Yakshi and she always will be. She needs to be in a calm, controlled and secure environment. We cannot risk her being around civilians."

"I don't know about Ardat Yakshi, Samara but I know Falere. She is a very disciplined person who is very much in control of whatever negative tendencies she might have. She is also a very empathetic person. She could never do what her sister did."

"I agree but this has never happened before. Visiting Ardat Yakshi do not stay in private homes. It is unheard of."

"Well, at the risk of sounding like an ignorant human, that is because you asari are a little hysterical when it comes to the Ardat Yakshi. It's a genetic predisposition and a cruel disease, nothing more."

"You sound like an ignorant human." Liara opined. "Of course we asari have a natural revulsion towards the Ardat Yakshi, just as you humans have it towards pedophilia. Something that we asari do not have, by the way. The only difference is that we have a test that reveals the condition while you do not. If you did, don't you think that humans would take the same steps to protect the general public by separating pedophiles and keeping them locked up?"

"I'm not so sure about that. I can't think of any free, democratic government who locks people away for crimes that they have not yet committed. Hell, if we did, we would test everyone for psychopathy and then lock them up. The murder, assault and rape rates would plummet. Not to mention that the corporations would lose half their CEOs and there would only be about three human politicians left." Shepard paused. "Come to think of it, maybe you gals are on to something…"

"It is not analogous, Shepard. Some of your pedophiles can suppress their abhorrent desires and have normal, adult relationships. An Ardat Yakshi with a more pronounced form of the disease like my Falere, cannot have a normal sexual relationship, ever. She will never be able to meld with another because she will kill her partner if she did. It is not a matter of control or her great natural empathy."

"It is a horrible disease, Samara but my offer stands. I know that Falere will not hurt me or my family. Unless, you think it would just make her sad to be around the kids. Because she will never have any of her own?"

"I think staying here would be a great honor for her and I think she would like to be around your children. They are so full of life and joy. What do you think, Liara? Please do not lie to save my feelings. Would you be comfortable with an Ardat Yakshi staying in your home?"

Liara smiled. "An Ardat Yakshi, no. Falere, yes. I agree with Shepard on that. So long as Falere would enjoy it, we would enjoy having her here."

"I just hope it isn't too much strain for the poor girl. To be around such a beautiful and sexy and charismatic human knowing that you can never have them." Shepard tried not to smirk as she said it. Liara only rolled her eyes.

"Perhaps you are right, Shepard. I had not thought of it but with the exception of the presence of Liara, this place is completely devoid of all temptation. It is probably the safest, most serene place for Falere to be on all of Thessia." Samara said the words without the slightest hint of any humor.

"Ouch, Samara. Just ouch." Shepard pretended to be wounded but laughed instead.

A few days later, after Samara had left their home to reassume her duties, Shepard was in her office when she received an unexpected call from Doctor Chakwas. After exchanging pleasantries, Shepard started getting nervous. It was clear that the Doctor had an agenda to accomplish with the call.

"Is Liara in as well?"

"Yeah. She's here somewhere. It's her turn to watch the kids while I get some work done."

"I see. I'm sorry. I will call back when you are both available."

"Doc. We have a 3 year old and a 5 month old. We have maybe seven hours a day total when both of us are available without the kids. That's when we try to sleep with an emphasis on the word 'try'. At least we finally got Benezia potty-trained so less diapers."

The Doctor smiled. "You do look a little tired. Just try to remember that they will never be this young again and try to enjoy it while they are. You will miss it when they get older."

"No doubt. Now are you going to tell me why you are calling? Is it something about my health? Or Liara's?"

"Yes but it is not pressing. How about you call me when you next have a moment together?"

"Karin! You can't just do that! You can't just leave me hanging!"

"It can wait." Chakwas smiled mysteriously. "You've got plenty of time."

"Come on…"

Shepard's protest was cut short and the argument made moot when Liara flew into the room, speaking as she entered.

"Shepard! I got both of the girls asleep for a nap at the same time! Do you want to go take a nap with…Oh hello, Karin. How are you doing?"

"I am well and I am glad that you managed to find a moment. I just need to speak to you both briefly."

"A moment for what? Is something wrong?"

Chakwas smiled again.

"Nothing is wrong but I did find out something extraordinary. Do you remember those blood and tissue samples that I took from you after Edi's birth, Shepard? Because you are incredibly stubborn and hadn't had a physical in over two years and I didn't have time to give you a proper one myself?"

"I remember. And it's not stubborn to stay away from doctors if you are feeling well. It is just sound practice. What did you find?"

"Well, I ran the standard tests and everything looks fine. No sign of abnormalities, no sign of disease. On a hunch, I ran some additional tests."

"And?" Shepard asked getting impatient.

"Do you want the good news or the bad news first?"

"Jesus, Karin! Just tell us!"

"The bad news is for Liara. I'm afraid that you were misled when you accepted Shepard's marriage proposal. You said yes under the assumption that you were marrying a typical human and would only have to put up with her for another hundred years or so. As it turns out, Shepard is not typical. I ran the tests several times and you are not aging as scheduled. Even at a cellular level, you are not degrading at the normal rate for a human of your age."

"What are you saying exactly, Doctor?"

"I'm saying that, barring some accident or catching some dread disease, you can expect to live more than the average 150 years. I can't tell you how much longer but apparently, whatever Cerberus did to bring you back, you were built to last, both through the genetic manipulations and the implants and the nanites in your body."

Shepard stood looking shocked while Liara gradually began to smile.

"Really?! Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, Liara. I can't say how much longer Shepard could live and it won't be anywhere near your lifespan but based on the slow rate of cellular degradation that we currently see, I wouldn't be surprised if she lived to see 300. Of course, we are in completely in novel territory here. It is possible that the rate of degradation could increase as she slowly ages and it will be more like 250. We can't say for certain."

Liara threw her arms around the still unmoving Shepard.

"Thank you, Karin. That is wonderful news!"

"Now as your Doctor, I need to warn you that this does not mean that you are invulnerable, Shepard. If you start catching bullets or fighting Thresher Maws as you used to do, your cellular aging rates can suddenly become irrelevant. And as with all of us, you could be hit by a skycar tomorrow. And, as with all of us, if you fail to take care of yourself and eat imprudently or fail to exercise, you could develop heart disease or any number of other diseases."

"Thank you, Karin. I appreciate you telling us."

"It was my pleasure. I will let you two get to your nap while you still can."

As the smiling face of Doctor Chakwas faded from the vid screen, Shepard still stood unmoving and expressionless. Liara moved around to face her and grabbed her hands.

"What's the matter, Shepard? Why aren't you more excited about this?"

"I'm just in shock. To be honest, I never expected to live this long and now, I might live to 300 or more? It's almost unbelievable. I don't even know how to think about it."

"You will get to stay with me and the girls longer. Aren't you happy about that?"

Shepard smiled and squeezed Liara's hands.

"Of course I am. Just think Liara. Not only might I get to see them as grown adults, I might even live long enough to see grandkids."

"It's possible. A lot more possible than it was yesterday. Though 300 is still young for your average asari to have children. And I am sure that you are too responsible as a father to pressure them in any way."

Liara's eyes sparkled as she said it. Shepard grinned in response until the smile faded from her face once again.

"What are you thinking?" Liara asked, noticing the change in her bondmate's face.

"I'm just thinking about everyone else that I care about. Every other person that I care about who isn't asari, will die years, decades before me. Garrus, Tali, Kaidan, Karin, Jack…hell, I could outlive every human, salarian, turian and quarian alive today. How do you deal with that?"

"Traditional asari wisdom says that you concentrate on today and cherish the time that you have with your loved ones and then cherish the memories when they move on to become one with universal consciousness but that is…"

"Bullshit. How does that help at all?"

"It is a very unsatisfying answer. I think the truth is, you cry and grieve and do the best that you can to find meaning in your life despite the losses. There are more than a few asari who made their lives on other worlds with short-lived species and they just never really recover the loss of bondmates and friends. They are never the same and their long lives become a curse instead of a blessing. Which is why I am very glad that I will have you for longer than I thought. To me, it is a gift. I understand your ambivalence but I am selfish so I feel only joy."

Liara moved her arms around Shepard and held her tightly. They were both silent for a long moment, both lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Shepard pulled back and looked into Liara's eyes.

"Well, I think it's a gift too. Not only will I get to be with you and the kids longer but it's also an opportunity. I can make sure that Karin and Greg's little Erica is alright long after they pass. I can look after the kids and grandkids of all my friends when they no longer can. I can maybe help make sure that this chance that the entire galaxy got when we beat the reapers is not squandered."

Liara laughed and hugged Shepard again.

"There's my optimistic Girl Scout back again."

"That reminds me. I have to see how Oriana Lawson is doing. I haven't heard from her in a while."

Liara tugged Shepard towards the door instead.

"That can wait. We still have another hour before Benezia wakes up if we're lucky. We can still go take that nap."

"I'm exhausted but I don't think I could sleep now."

Liara tilted her head and gave her a bemused look.

"You know, not too long ago, we did other things besides nap when we had time alone together."

"I like the way you think." Without warning, Shepard scooped Liara up into arms. "We need to make love as much as we can now while you can still stand to look at me naked. Slow cellular degradation or not, I don't even want to know what 200 year-old human skin looks like."


	65. Chapter 65

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Shepard didn't really know how it was supposed to be as she didn't have any real-world experience with having a family and raising children but she was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to be like this. When she had allowed herself to think about what it would be like in her imagination during the War, she imagined that she would have longer hair (since she had spent so much time in the military, she would let it grow out for once) , she would be fighting trim and dressed smartly while her children would be just like little cadets who would say 'yes Daddy' to her commands with smiles on their adoring faces.

Instead, her long hair was a ratty mess because she still hadn't had a chance to wash it, she still had not lost the ten extra pounds that she had gained during Liara's pregnancy despite the fact that she went for a run every chance she got, and she had to throw her pee and spit-up stained shirt back on so that she could go chasing after her angry daughter who had screamed 'No!' at her before she somehow managed to get out of the tub and started running through the house naked with lathered shampoo on her hairless head.

Just when she thought her day couldn't get any worse, her bondmate came home for lunch bringing an unexpected guest. Not just any guest but her new nemesis and jailer, Matriarch Alecta. Just as the naked Benezia rounded the couch with Shepard chasing after her, half-naked herself, they walked in the front door laughing. The laughter stopped as soon as they witnessed the scene before them. Liara raised her eyebrow markings at Shepard in question.

"We are not having a good day", Shepard said as she brought her hand up to run it through her hair only for it to be caught in a snarl. She brought her other hand down to try to pull the shirt a little further down her thigh. Benezia continued to run around the living room until she stopped, put her small hands on her tiny hips and screamed, "I wanna shave my legs!"

"What happened?" Liara asked.

Shepard extricated her hand from the rat's nest on top of her head and sighed before she responded, the words coming out in a torrent.

"Edi is really fussy today and she wouldn't go down for her mid-morning nap until just a little while ago. While she was sleeping, I figured I'd take a shower while I had the chance but Benezia wanted to take a bath too so we did and before I even had a chance to wash my hair, she demanded that she wanted to shampoo her hair even though she doesn't have any hair and then she demanded that she wanted to shave her legs. I tried to explain that little girls, even little human girls who have body hair, don't shave their legs but she wouldn't listen. I couldn't let her shave her legs because I'm afraid that my razor might cut her and then I tried to rinse out her hair but she managed to get out of the tub and run out here and God, I just don't know if I can do this!"

Liara could see her hands literally shaking and it was obvious that her Bondmate was at her wit's end. Alecta came from behind Liara and addressed Shepard.

"Good afternoon, Admiral. Why don't you go take your shower and we will take care of the little troublemaker for you?"

Shepard glared at the woman. How dare she come in here and try to intrude into their lives even more than she already had. Shepard didn't care that she was her daughter's namesake's best friend and Liara's god mother of sorts, she was manipulative and meddlesome. Shepard briefly considered declining the offer and telling her to leave but considering the fact that she was standing there half-naked, clad only in a pee and spit-up stained t-shirt with tangled hair, doing so would just make her seem even like more an insolent child than Benezia. Instead, Shepard just nodded and made her way upstairs to the master bath. She held her head high and walked with a military bearing out of the room, despite the fact that she had to tug down the shirt in the back to avoid exposing herself on the stairs.

When Shepard returned downstairs, she found Liara in her chair breastfeeding Edi while Alecta was on the couch with Benezia on her lap. Benezia seemed to have calmed down and Alecta was talking with her quietly._ Oh great, not only is she a meddling judge extraordinaire she is also a Toddler-whisperer_, Shepard thought uncharitably.

"Liara dear, would it be okay if I showed Benezia a story?"

Liara smiled at Alecta briefly.

"Of course."

Shepard suddenly panicked as she realized what showing Benezia a story really meant. The Matriarch was going to meld with her daughter. This woman was going to join her mind with her daughter's very young, very innocent and very impressionable mind.

"Wait! Are you sure that's a good idea, Liara?"

Liara looked at Shepard with surprise and then with a little anger, obviously embarrassed with Shepard's question.

"It's fine, Shepard. Alecta showed me stories when I was not much older than Benezia."

Alecta smiled at Shepard.

"I know you don't know me very well, Ms. Shepard, so if you would prefer that I not show Benezia, I will not."

"I wanna see!" Benezia shouted as Shepard could see Liara glaring at her in her peripheral vision.

"That's okay. Go ahead." Shepard told her while standing a few feet away from the woman, her arms folded, ready to send the old woman through a wall at the slightest sign of her daughter's discomfort or distress.

Instead of distress, Benezia started giggling which soon grew to a full laugh. Not just any laugh but a deep belly laugh that had her young daughter's entire body shaking. _Oh great, she's also apparently the greatest comedian the universe has ever seen. _After several minutes, Alecta's eyes turned back to their normal light blue color and she smiled at Benezia as Benezia tried to get over her giggles. After she had recovered, Benezia saw Shepard and got out of Alecta's lap to run over to her.

"Hi Peanut. Did Alecta show you a funny story?" Shepard asked her daughter as she swooped Bene up in her arms.

"Oh Daddy, Lecta has a sisa and they were little and her sisa got her head stuck in a chair and Lecta twied to get her out using soap…" Benezia paused to catch her breath but she started giggling again before she was able to continue. "And then they got her head out but soap was all ova and they fell and they couldn't get up…" Benezia started giggling again. Shepard couldn't help but chuckle herself watching her daughter's hysterics.

"I was just showing Benezia how much fun it can be to have a sister and how my sister and I helped each other so much through the years." Alecta smiled.

"Just like you and Edi will have a lot of fun in the future, Peanut." Shepard kissed the top of Benezia's head before putting her back on the ground.

"Liara. My lunch has long since ended and I must get back to the Court. We can talk again next week if you wish."

"Thank you for seeing me, Alecta. And thank you for helping with Benezia."

"It was my pleasure." Alecta then walked over to Benezia and bent down, taking her hand. "And it was my pleasure to meet you again, Benezia."

Benezia threw her arms around Alecta's neck and gave her a hug.

"Bye Lecta. Thanks for the storwee."

"You are welcome." Alecta stood up and looked at Shepard. "I'd like to talk to you, Shepard. Would you walk me out?"

"Sure. I'll be right back, Bene. Stay here with Mommy and Edi."

Shepard walked Matriarch Alecta to their door and then folded her arms, waiting for her to speak.

"I just wanted to tell you not to worry too much about Benezia's behavior. She is threatened by the arrival of Edi, of course, but it will pass if you make sure to spend enough time with her and reassure her how much you love her. You are the most important person in her life so it is no wonder that she wants to do everything that you do. It is only natural that she act out now that you are by necessity giving so much attention to Edi. "

Shepard just stared at the woman a moment. Shepard felt the last bits of her patience drain from her body.

"I'm sorry. I know that you were friends with Liara's mother but this, us, is none of your business. Why are you even here, interfering in our lives again? And pardon my French but what the fuck do you even know about raising a child? Do you even have children? And if you do, why aren't you harassing them instead of interfering with our lives?"

If Alecta was angry or hurt by Shepard's words, she did not show it. She smiled instead.

"I assure you, Admiral Shepard. My intentions are benevolent. I do not mean to interfere. I just care a great deal about Liara and now you and your daughters. And I do have two daughters of my own. They both work on the Citadel. They were there when the reapers hit and they managed to survive the original attack by being strong biotics and hiding. But as they tell it, they are only alive today because a half-dead human took control and got the power working again. Now, because of that half-dead human, I still have my daughters and might someday have grandchildren of my own."

"It wasn't 'the half-dead human' who saved the Citadel. It was the Engineers who saved all our asses that day. I simply didn't have the skills to be of much help. I could barely set up our entertainment system."

"But you got everyone organized and working. It is a talent that you have. Regardless, I am personally grateful to you, Shepard, so I hope you believe me when I say that I mean you and your family no harm."

"Okay. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. But I want to be absolutely clear here. If you ever threaten or hurt my bondmate or my daughters, I will kill you and there won't be enough left of you for them to even identify your body as remains. And that goes for the rest of your Matriarch friends as well." Shepard growled the threat to Alecta with so much intensity that the Matriarch took an unconscious step back and Shepard saw the unmistakable flash of fear in her eyes. The look soon passed to be replaced by a fierce smile as the Matriarch said only one word before turning and leaving.

"Good."


	66. Chapter 66

Shepard was looking through the news articles of the day when she ran across Liara's name. This was not unusual because there were almost as many 'fluff' articles about her on Thessia as there were of Shepard. But this wasn't in the 'celebrity' gossip pages or about her involvement in the war. This was an article buried in the local news of the day.

_Famed War Hero and Prothean Expert Liara T'Soni was promoted to the position of Assistant Director of the Thessian Guildhal today as the last Assistant, Nassia Rebbert, took a position as Director of Records with the Museum of Thessian History in Serrice. Maiden T'Soni is the youngest Assistant Director in the 3425 year history of the Guildhal. _

_That little brat! She didn't even tell me, _Shepard thought. It explained why Liara was spending more late nights at her job. She had already called and explained that she would be late again tonight. Shepard had grudgingly agreed but now that she knew this, it was time for a celebration. Shepard was a little annoyed that she was working more and the promotion likely meant that there would be more late nights. The overwhelming feeling, however, was one of pride.

Her Bondmate was fantastic. Shepard could not figure out how she got so lucky to have such a beautiful, sexy, brilliant, caring, completely wonderful woman as her wife. And even though Liara was a bit of a workaholic, she still managed to give plenty of love and attention to her and their two daughters. What she did not do, Shepard realized, is give any time to herself. Shepard watched Benezia and Edi most days and for the most part, she loved it but she also realized that she would go crazy if she didn't get the chance to go off on her own to take a run, chat with friends, play stupid extranet games or go blow off steam at the arena. What did Liara do for fun? When Liara asked for time alone, it was usually to go work on some project with the Guildhal.

Shepard decided that it was time for a date night. Shepard would get her to put down her work and celebrate even if she had to drag Liara away from her work. It was also time for Liara to take some time off just for herself. Shepard was determined to make sure that both things happened and she wanted it to be a surprise.

Shepard spotted Liara in a Computer Lab off the main corridor. The lights were dimmed as Shepard slipped in through the door. Liara's back was turned and she didn't hear Shepard enter as she typed feverously on the keyboard. Shepard snuck up behind her, pushed her body against Liara's back and slid her hands around Liara's waist as she pulled her closer. Shepard felt Liara's body tense and a surprised gasp escaped her lips. Shepard put her lips right against Liara's ear and whispered.

"You've been a bad girl. You didn't even tell me you got a promotion. I'm here to take you to celebrate. Either you agree to stop working and go out to dinner with me right now or I will find something to eat right here."

Shepard felt Liara's body relax before she spoke.

"Ok, but I get to pick the restaurant."

The only problem was that it wasn't Liara. Shepard immediately released the unknown woman and staggered backwards.

"Who are you?! I'm so sorry. I thought you were my bondmate."

The woman turned around with a smile on her face.

"I'm Matriarch Febe and I am the Director here at the Thessian Guildhall. I'm assuming that you are Admiral Shepard. I was wondering when Liara was going to bring you around so that we could meet."

Shepard rubbed her neck nervously.

"Yeah, I tend to get in trouble when I go out so I think she's been trying to keep me in the house."

The Matriarch laughed.

"Yes, I've heard something about that in the news. Your bondmate should be back shortly. She just went to get something from the other lab."

"Good, good. I wanted to surprise her with a nice dinner out and it would have been even more embarrassing if she already went home and the only thing I managed to accomplish was to assault her boss."

Matriarch Febe laughed again.

"Again, her boss does not feel assaulted. But does this mean that she doesn't know you're here? How did you get in here?"

"Yeah. I was going to talk to Liara about that. You really need to upgrade your security. With all these artifacts in here, some of them literally irreplaceable, a good thief would have a grand time here."

"Perhaps you could make some suggestions?"

"Me? No. I'm just a bubbler. But I can get you in touch with someone who can help you make sure that this place is all but impregnable." And give Kasumi honest work least she be tempted to break in the place. Shepard knew that Kasumi's sense of honor (and pride) would not allow her to try to steal from a place that she helped secure.

"Very well. So long as this consultant is not too expensive. We have limited funds here at the Guildhal."

"I would think that the various government agencies that support this place would be anxious to protect it if they are made aware of the deficiencies."

"One would think. But as you became aware, Thessian bureaucracy can be painfully slow. By the time we got approval for additional funding, I could be retired."

"Or Thessia's sun could have stopped burning. Yes. I've had a little first-hand experience with just how slow…"

"Shepard?!" Liara came into the room. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to take you out to dinner. To celebrate your promotion!"

Liara looked confused.

"I just spoke with you at lunch. You didn't mention that we were going out."

"That's because I didn't yet know that someone got a promotion because that someone didn't bother to tell me."

Liara just shrugged. "I didn't think it was that important."

"The youngest Assistant Director of the Guildhal ever and you didn't think it was that important? That's a big deal, Liara."

"Not that it is any of my business, Liara but I agree with Ms. Shepard here. It is a big deal. You have been completely invaluable to our work here. If we actually are able to re-open next Spring as scheduled, it will only be because of your tireless work and dedication."

Shepard smirked. "You see. Your boss agrees with me and it isn't just because we had a chance to bond before you got here."

Liara narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean that you bonded? Have you been talking about me behind my back?"

Shepard looked at Febe and then back to Liara.

"Not exactly. I wanted to surprise you so I snuck in here. I came to this room and did you ever realize that you two are the exact same height and shade of blue?"

"Oh no. What happened?"

"Anyway, it's dark in here and you are both wearing identical lab jumpsuits. Long story short, I thought it was you and I'm afraid that I...might have inadvertently sexually assaulted your boss."

"Goddess! I'm so sorry Matriarch."

The Matriarch laughed again. "It's not as bad as all that, Liara. It was a simple misidentification. No harm done. It has been quite some time since anyone has touched me like that."

"I apologize again for the mistake, Matriarch."

"No harm done, Ms. Shepard. Now, I have a few more things to finish up here before I leave for the night. I think you should take the night off, Liara. Go have some fun with your charming Bondmate. The work will still be here in the morning."

"Thank you, Febe. And I apologize again if my Bondmate made you feel uncomfortable."

Febe waved away the apology as she walked out of the room. At the doorway, she turned and looked at Shepard again, a smile on her face.

"It was nice meeting you Admiral Shepard. Please remember that there is no eating in the computer labs. Any escaped liquids can cause havoc with the computer systems." The Matriarch laughed again and left once she was satisfied with the blush on Shepard's face.

Liara looked at Shepard, her arms crossed. Shepard could see that her bondmate was not happy. Shepard stepped forward to capture her in a hug but Liara stepped back.

"Okay. You're pissed. Let me make it up to you. I'll take you to Tevura, your favorite restaurant."

"Maybe you should ask Febe to go with you. My 860-something year old boss that you obviously can't tell apart from your 113 year old bondmate!"

"That's not true! I could tell it wasn't you. Eventually. It's dark in here and you're wearing the same outfit."

"So, in your eyes, I look like a matriarch. My body is no different than an 860 year old woman's body."

"Of course not! It was just a temporary misidentification."

Liara harrumphed and moved over to the terminal that Febe had been working on when Shepard came in. Much like she had previously, Shepard moved behind her and put her arms around Liara's waist.

"Let me tell you why I'm here. I'm here because I read that my beautiful, talented, incredibly intelligent and capable wife got a promotion and it struck me once again, how goddamned lucky I am to have such an incredible person as my wife."

Liara continued to type at the keyboard completely ignoring Shepard but she did not pull away as Shepard moved her body in closer.

"So I decided that mere mortal that I am, I needed to do something to please this incredible person least she realize what a horrible mistake she made when she agreed to marry me." Shepard purred in Liara's ear.

"Keep talking", Liara said when Shepard didn't continue.

"So I decided that I needed to take my beautiful, sexy, intelligent and talented bondmate for a night on the town. I thought Tevura but we can always go elsewhere. And then, we are going to ignore the fact that we are responsible parent-types and go get sloppy drunk and dance the night away like the young, in-love couple that we are."

"You want me to dance with you in public? Maybe you really should go ask Febe instead."

Shepard only smiled into Liara's crest and ignored the insult.

"And then, when we just can't take it anymore, I'm going to take my bondmate to a gorgeous suite at the Golden Goddess and I am going to pamper her so long as she is a good girl."

"And if she is not?"

"Then, because she was a bad girl who didn't tell me that she got a promotion, I'm going to have to punish her. I'm going to put her over my knee and spank her ass until it's purple."

"And if she still isn't sorry?"

"Then I will have to tie her to the bed so that she can't move an inch. I'll then lick, suck and bite every square inch of her body until she is begging me to fuck her. Then, if she is a good girl, I will fuck her and I will keep fucking her until she comes so many times that she loses count."

Suddenly, Liara bolted out of her arms and started running for the door.

"I'll go get my coat."

Shepard chuckled at Liara's reaction. Too easy.

A few days later, Liara found herself alone in their apartment, enjoying the second part of Shepard's 'Bondmate Appreciation' plan. Or at least she was trying to enjoy it. Shepard had taken the kids out early that morning imploring Liara to not work and to have fun with her time to herself. Liara had already taken a swim but she found that visiting their apartment building's swimming pool was a lot more fun with Shepard and her daughters. Without them, she soon got bored.

Now she was trying to figure out what to do with herself. She sat on the couch, drinking a glass of wine, even though it was before midday. Scandalous! Liara scrolled though the vids on the viewing screen. There were only a few that she wanted to watch but they were also ones that Shepard wanted to watch as well so she would just have to save them until they were together. Liara sighed. Having 'fun time' to oneself was definitely overrated.

Liara tried to think what she used to do for fun before she met Shepard, before the War and was embarrassed to realize that she mostly just worked and when she wasn't working, she would study other subjects besides prothean history for fun and some variety. She had never had a lot of friends before. But now, she had lots of friends, she realized with some pride. She tried to calculate the time at the different locations where her far flung friends were located. Tali should be awake. She always knew the best gossip and was not afraid to share it. She called Tali but received only a message saying that she was not available until tomorrow as she was in meetings with the Admiralty Board all day.

Liara was starting to think she should just forget about having fun and go clean the house when she remembered the Prothean files from Mars. They had not been touched since the war and besides a brief, desperate skimming of the data as she looked for what turned out to be the plans for the Crucible, they had not been thoroughly investigated yet. Who knows what kind of previously-unknown information about the protheans they would contain? Liara ran to her office and turned on her computer. This was going to be fun!

Predictably, Liara lost track of time as she looked through the virgin files and she did not hear it when Shepard and the girls came home hours later. Shepard poked her head in Liara's office.

"There you are."

Liara jumped at the sound of Shepard's voice and quickly moved her hand up to shut off her monitor. Liara spun around in her chair, trying to act as casual as possible.

"Hello Shepard. How was your day?"

"Good, good. The girls run me ragged but I think we all had a good time. We went to that Park over on 28th Street and then Benezia talked me into getting some ice cream after lunch at that new pizza arcade. Remind never to go there again. It was chaos. Kids screaming and running everywhere. "

"Where are the Girls now?"

"I just put them down for their long-overdue nap. They were getting beyond cranky. Never mind us, how was your day? Did you have fun?"

"Yes, I did. Thank you for doing that for me, Shepard. It was nice to have some time to myself."

Shepard bent over and quickly kissed Liara.

"You are welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"I did. Well, I think I'll go do those breakfast dishes now. Why don't you go take a nap while you can? You must be tired after running after the Girls all day."

Liara stood up, trying to usher Shepard from the room. Shepard didn't budge. Shepard eyed Liara's now-dark monitor suspiciously.

"So, what did you do all day?"

"Nothing much really. I went for a swim, had some wine, I was just looking up the day's news when you came in."

"Really? That's why you shut down your monitor as soon as I entered the room? You didn't want me to see the news?"

Liara sighed and folded her arms across her chest.

"I thought you said I could do whatever I wanted?"

"You can. I was just curious. It must be good if you don't even want me to see and you shut down your monitor as soon as I came in. Were you doing something naughty? Maybe looking at porn? That would be okay, you know. You can watch porn alone if you want and I won't care."

Liara smirked and tilted her head.

"You only say that because you want to look at porn. I wasn't looking at porn. Regardless, I think we both would agree that I have the right to do what I want in my free time."

"Yes, you're right. You can do what you want and you don't need to tell me. Every marriage has its secrets."

Shepard gave Liara her best 'hurt puppy dog' look. Liara sighed and turned on her monitor. Shepard looked at it and immediately got a look of indignation on her face.

"I knew it! You were working! That's data from the Guildhall!"

"It is not! It has nothing to do with the Guildhall."

"I know data when I see it. You were researching!"

"So what if I was? You said I could do anything I wanted. These are files from the Prothean ruins on Mars. It has nothing to do with work."

"You're sad, T'Soni. You relax from a hard week's work doing historical research on Thessia and the asari by doing research on the protheans."

"You see, that's why I didn't want you to know! You think I'm boring."

Liara caste her eyes down so she was no longer looking at Shepard until Shepard reached up and lifted her chin. She smiled at Liara as she looked her right in the eye.

"That is most certainly not true. To me, you are still the most fascinating woman in the galaxy and I love you more every day. Do you want to go take a nap with me? I took some great pictures of the girls today that I want to show you."

Liara laughed.

"I am boring. And I hate to say it, but you are boring now too Shepard. You spent all day with the kids doing kid things and now you want to go take a nap."

"You know how exhausting they can be!"

"I know. But I think we have to face the facts that we are both pretty boring now."

Shepard sighed. "You may be right but I think we both earned the right to be boring. Now how about that nap? I'll let you tell me about what you found out about the protheans today."

Liara laughed again and took Shepard's arm as they both left the room together.

"Well, I haven't looked through all the files yet and it is far from conclusive evidence, but it appears that despite what Javik said about genetic purity and all that nonsense, that genetic protheans married and mated with other races. If the data can be verified elsewhere, it could be posited that it was actually quite common."

"Fascinating stuff, Ms. T'Soni. Please continue."


	67. Chapter 67

Shepard stood looking at the three outfits on her bed. Normally, she didn't give much thought, if any, to what she wore but today was an important day and it could make a difference if she got it wrong. The debate on whether Thessia should organize a permanent, centralized military was open again and at her request, the moderators had scheduled more time for her to speak. She had her special presentation all ready to go and she had already prepared some remarks. She had even agreed to allow a brief window during which she would be open to any and all questions from the audience which she could only hope didn't devolve into a celebrity chat/mud-slinging fest.

All that should matter is what she said and the facts that she presented. Her clothing, hair and makeup should be completely irrelevant. But Shepard was not so naive to believe that was the case. She knew that some people would notice what she was wearing and depending on their approval or disapproval, it might influence their vote. Irrationality and fickleness were, unfortunately, two traits that Shepard found in all the organic races that she had encountered, the asari included.

She knew what most people expected to see her in. She was 'Commander Shepard' after all. Her dress blues would transform her into that mythical being, at least to those who didn't know her. She was proud of what she did as an Alliance soldier but wearing this particular uniform, with all its medals and ribbons, always made Shepard feel a little uncomfortable. For one, it was showy and Shepard had never been a showy person. This was the same showy uniform that Hackett had made her wear when he had her make 'morale building' speeches after the War. Most importantly, Shepard knew as most veterans did, that the biggest heroes would never get to wear fancy medals or ribbons.

The real heroes gave their lives to help others, to save lives, to defeat the enemy. The very definition of a hero. It almost felt wrong and improper for her to wear this uniform even if under the rules established by the Alliance and the militaries of the other species; she had earned every one of them. The uniform also only told half the story. There were no medals or ribbons given for the mistakes that she made and the missed opportunities or the lives that were lost because of them both.

On the other hand, the uniform, the medals, the successes and the mistakes were all in the past and there was nothing that could be done about any of it. What she could do is put her best foot forward and argue to the best of her ability to reverse what she truly believed was an ongoing mistake that could have horrible consequences for the future.

If wearing the show pony outfit helped in any way to correct that mistake, why not wear it? Shepard thought back to a history book she read once. Benjamin Franklin, one of the important people in the founding of the now defunct United States of America, went over to France to try to get support for the infant country in its battle for independence from England. Even though Franklin was a very intelligent, highly educated man who spent most of his time in cities, he choose to wear his coonskin hat because that's what the French expected from him. The Americans were seen as roughly-hewn, uncultured, bold, upstart, frontiersmen so, of course, they all wore coonskin hats. Give them what they want to get what you need.

Shepard smirked thinking how the asari essentially saw the humans very much as the French had seen the Americans hundreds of years earlier. The uniform was apt as the asari very much saw the humans as militaristic, kind of like less uptight turians who smiled more and were more individualistic. There was no question that they saw her as 'Commander Shepard', soldier and war hero and most always would. Why not give the people what they wanted? Shepard started putting on her showy uniform with its stiff collar and shiny medals.

Shepard walked into the kitchen where Liara was making breakfast and Benezia was sitting in her booster eating her breakfast. Edi had not yet made her appearance for the day. Liara saw Shepard in her uniform and sidled up to her with what could only be described as a lecherous grin on her face.

"Oh. You look so sexy in your uniform. It really accentuates your ass…" Liara looked at Benezia "ets. Your assets."

"Really Liara. This is not the time for that." Liara grabbed Shepard's ass. "Hey, cut that out! You'll wrinkle my uniform. Just go butter your toast."

Liara only gave a little laugh before returning to the task of buttering her toast.

"I know something else I'd like to butter."

"This is serious, Liara. I swear, you've spent too much time around marines. They've corrupted you." Shepard stood tall and straightened her uniform. "Now how do I look really?"

"You look very dashing. You look every inch the Alliance soldier. Do you know what you are going to say?"

"Most of it. I'm going to wing some of it. And then I agreed to answer questions."

"Oh dear. That could go badly."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. Any advice?"

"No matter what anyone says, be patient and don't lose your temper."

Shepard sighed. "Great. My two biggest strengths."

"You can do it. I know you can. I've seen how patient you are with the kids. How you manage to hold your temper even when you have a screaming three year old and a crying six month old to deal with. If you can handle that, you can handle some politicians or nosy fans."

Shepard was used to controlling her emotions. It was something that she had to learn to do in order to be a good soldier. One of the tricks used by many soldiers, oftentimes unconsciously, is to transfer that emotion to anger and the expression thereof. Letting the enemy see you were afraid could be fatal on the battlefield but transferring that fear or sadness or doubt into an expression of rage could actually be a positive thing, causing the enemy to become more fearful and less combat effective. Shepard had often wondered if half of the krogan's combat effectiveness came not from their natural advantages for combat like size and strength but from their raging battle cries. An angry krogan charging was enough to make even hardened soldiers lose all thought and instinctively want to turn around and run.

Unfortunately, politics was a different kind of battle. The expression of anger was seen as just as much of a weakness as fear, to be exploited by the opposition. The seasoned matriarchs on the other side of the issue would argue vehemently for their position. They would say whatever to make sure this major change to the life of all Thessians was defeated. They would smell anger or fear or uncertainty and pounce on anyone who displayed it.

Shepard leaned in and kissed Liara and then walked over to Benezia to give her a kiss as well.

"I'm going to get going. I will see you two later."

"What about breakfast? Are you sure you don't want me to go with you? Just for moral support."

"I'm just going to grab something and go. There would be no point in you going as well. No sense in us both being tortured."

"You make it sound like you are turning yourself in to the enemy. Just remember, they can't hurt you and you are in the right on this issue."

Shepard moved towards the living room and the front door just as it burst open revealing an especially animated Aethyta.

"Did you see that button outside the door? That's a door bell. It is customary to ring it before entering a home that is not your own. Like this one that you are now in."

"Come to the kitchen. I need to show you something."

"Later. I was just leaving to go to the meeting."

"Don't get your panties in a twist. I'm going with you and we have plenty of time. You don't want to be too early. It will work against you."

"Why would I want you to go the forum with me? So I can get pissed off before I even get there?"

"Just come look at this. You are never going to believe what they found on Tuchanka. Nice outfit, by the way Shepard. It makes your ass look good."

Now curious, Shepard followed Aethyta into the kitchen, ignoring Aethyta's predictable lack of propriety. Aethyta brought up her omnitool and a holographic vid screen materialized.

"The krogan actually managed to extract this from a camera on that destroyed tower. The one that dispersed the genophage cure. Look at this crazy shit."

The vid ran showing three small figures running in an arena surrounded by big, lumbering creatures. Over it all stood a giant reaper, only the legs visible in the vid. The smallest figures were obviously running from the larger creatures as the giant legs were seen trying to stomp them. Shepard and Liara looked at each other, both smiling ruefully.

"Oh yeah. I remember that. Damn reaper was trying to squash me like a bug."

"You see. This is heroic. I'm going to release it to the news agencies. Once people see this and see that it's you, they will listen to what you say even more. It's one thing to hear that someone is a big-time hero. It's another thing to see it."

"I think we have a different definition of heroic. I was just running around trying to survive while I activated the damn hammers. The giant worm took out the bast…" Shepard looked at Benezia in her booster chair still…"the bad guy. How did you get your hands on this?"

"I am a member of Clan Murlok, you know. I have my sources. Who are the two poor idiots with you? Look at that one! They almost got squished between two of those monsters. "

Aethyta peered closer at the vid until she straightened again, took a step towards Shepard and then promptly smacked her in the back of the head.

"Ow! What'd you do that for?"

"Athame's tits! My daughter?! You took my daughter into that?! Do you know what a PhD in Archaeology is? What is it about her background as an academic that made you think 'I know, I'll take the archaeologist into an extreme combat situation that even a 500 year old commando wouldn't be prepared for?!"

Liara smiled. "It's was even worse than it looks. Shepard told us both not to even bother to engage the enemy. We were there simply as decoys to give the brutes something else to chase while Shepard ran for the hammers."

Shepard couldn't help but chuckle a little as the vid played on.

"I was actually more afraid for Garrus that day, the big lug. You are fast and nimble. He's not so good at dodging."

Liara chuckled as well.

"Yeah, I remember he got banged up and bruised more than a little that day."

"You're both laughing about this? You are both obviously not right in the head. I should have you brought up on attempted murder charges, Shepard!"

Despite the words, Shepard could see a little pride on Aethyta's face as she continued to watch the vid.

"We can laugh about it now. While it was happening, not so much." Shepard shook her head as the ground exploded with the arrival of Kalros and the vid cut out to static. "That really was an insane day."

"I'm going to release it with both your names. Show the people just what an asari can do. Whoever said that the asari can't be effective in traditional combat situations?"

"What an asari and a turian and a human can do, you mean. The other name should be Garrus Vakarian. And I wouldn't call that a traditional combat situation. Most of the time, you don't run away from the enemy and summon a giant worm to kill the enemy for you."

"Alright. Enough shooting the shit. We have to get to the forum."

"Father, language please."

"You mean I have to get to the forum. I'm going to have enough to worry about without you there."

"You're going to need backup. All the old bitches…

"Father Please! Benezia."

"Old bitches!" Benezia proudly proclaimed.

"Don't say that word, Benezia. Your Poppy wasn't supposed to say that word and neither should you." Liara glared at her father.

"Old?" Benezia asked earnestly.

"No. The other word, sweetheart. It's a bad word that you should never use."

"As I was saying, all the old biddies will be there today and some of them will be gunning for you."

"And what can you do about that? You're not exactly Ms. Diplomacy. Most of them love me in comparison to you."

"Don't worry about it. Just get that sweet ass of yours in the car."

"Father! I swear. Between you and Shepard, my daughter is going to sound like a marine by the time she's five!"

"Sweet ass!" Benezia shouted.

"Don't react to the bad words that she says and she will forget them."

"Sweet ass!" Benezia shouted again.

All three women tried not to react to Benezia but when she said "Sweet ass" again, Shepard and Aethyta burst out laughing.

"This is not amusing! How will her teachers and other parents react if she speaks like that when she gets to school?"

"Did I ever tell you, Kid, that you sound exactly like your mother sometimes? She used to get on my as…butt all the time about my colorful language."

Shepard went and picked up her daughter.

"Don't say that word anymore either, Bene. It upsets Mommy. Now give your Poppy a kiss before she leaves. "


	68. Chapter 68

As expected, even after getting to the Forum, Shepard had to wait until it was her time to speak but this time she was prepared and was discretely playing extranet games on her omnitool. Aethyta had disappeared soon after they arrived so Shepard could relax. When it finally became time for Shepard to speak, she swiveled her head on her neck and rolled her shoulders, relaxing her muscles and mentally preparing. She would start with her prepared words. Shepard moved to the center of the forum as the cameras and all the eyes in the room swung her way. Shepard squared her shoulders and stood up tall.

"As you probably are all aware, this debate has been going on for years now and this is not the first time that I've spoken on behalf of forming a centralized military in this forum. Regrettably, the last time I was here, it did not go as I had hoped and because I let my temper get away from me, I said some things that inadvertently insulted the asari people. I have apologized for the things that were said and I will apologize again. I've lived on Thessia for almost two years now and I have grown to love and respect the asari people and culture as much as my own. So, when I say that I am sorry for the words that I said and that I did not mean them, I hope it is accepted for the truth that it is."

Shepard paused, collecting her thoughts before looking directly into the cameras and to the gathered audience, alternately. When she spoke again, her face held the same intensity that it held during her press interviews during the War.

"What I will not apologize for is the passion that I have that caused the unfortunate words to be spoken. As I am sure you are all aware, I have an asari bondmate and two asari children. I am a human which means for the majority of their lives, I will not be around to protect them from whatever threats that this galaxy and Thessia might face. I truly believe that not having a centralized military cost lives during the War. I truly believe that had we had a centralized military, Thessia would not have fallen as quickly as she did. I truly believe that creating one will help protect Thessia and her colonies from any threat that might come in the future, long after I and even the asari alive today are nothing but a memory."

"I have studied all the proposals and believe that proposal B is the best option. It will form a centralized military that will act as a hierarchy with highly trained officers and specialist that can take command of the independent militias and armies in the event that Thessia and her colonies are threatened while still allowing the independent democracies to maintain their forces and independence during times of peace. It will also create standardized training, ranks, units and uniforms that all asari forces will adopt so that, should the unthinkable occur, we will be able to seamlessly come together to become the most unbeatable military force in the galaxy. By now, everyone who has followed these debates, knows all the arguments for and against these proposals so I will not waste our time repeating them. I have agreed to a brief session during which I will be open to any and all questions." Shepard smiled and then added, "Though I would appreciate if the questions could be focused on the topic at hand."

Just as she finished speaking, the microphones hidden in the floors at the front of two of the aisles in the circular room rose up and were activated by the VI moderators, Shepard's face hardened as she saw Matriarch Ravana almost running to be the first to ask questions. Shepard felt her muscles tense as Ravana approached the mic until suddenly she simply dropped from view. Apparently, she fell on the way to the mic and the VI quickly activated the mic on the opposite side of the room where a maiden? matron? matriarch? who Shepard had never seen before was already standing.

"What threats do you foresee that the asari might face in the future and how will this help to defeat them?"

"The truthful answer? I don't know what threats the asari might face but I do know that it is still a dangerous galaxy out there. Fully 98% of our galaxy remains unexplored. Who knows what creatures might become space-faring in the next thousands years and who can guess what kind of culture they may have? The fact is, we still have no idea where all the mass relays are and who might be on the verge of discovering a previously-unknown one as we speak, allowing them access to Thessia and the galaxy at large. Remember the krogan and the rachni? The next race that appears might make them seem like pacifists in comparison."

"And yet you released the last known rachni queen and cured the genophage so that the krogan might rise again. How do you justify this?"

"I have spoken many times as to why I did both and I do not intend to repeat what has already been said. The important thing is that the asari have a military that can withstand any threat as well as any other military in the galaxy so that no species, known or unknown, believes it wise to attack the asari or her interests. The asari already have, in my opinion, the finest natural warriors in the galaxy. Smart, cunning and natural biotics so they are a threat even without any technology or weapons. With the proper training and organization, we could be unbeatable. One last thing I would like to say about the krogan. They are an incredible people who I believe will not squander the second chance that has been given to them. I believe that what we are seeing with the krogan right now is just like the Renaissance that occurred on Earth roughly 700 years ago or the Ho'ratea that occurred on Thessia around 6000 years ago. I am excited to see exactly who the krogan might become."

The maiden? matron? matriarch? seemed pleased that Shepard mentioned Thessia's golden age and she smiled brightly at Shepard as she briefly touched her crest.

"Ms. Shepard, I find you to be a fascinating human and I find your mate fascinating as well. I would very much like to know both of you better. Are you accepting melding thirds?"

Shepard was taken completely unaware by the question and was stunned into silence for a moment. She knew that the asari were a lot more forthright about sexuality than humans and most other species, a consequence of their genderless society no doubt, but Shepard had never considered that a question like this might be asked here. Shepard had grown up on the streets and from the time she was twelve or so, she had been propositioned in every manner possible, sometimes by creatures so vile that they made her stomach turn, so she did not blush easily. But there was something about this well-dressed and well-mannered young woman (at least Shepard now assumed she was a maiden as she saw various matriarchs smiling indulgently, shaking their heads or outright rolling their eyes at the question) basically asking her for a threesome in such a matter of fact way and in such a very public forum, literally a forum, that had Shepard blushingly furiously. _Humor, try humor_.

"Or you could just buy us a cup of coffee." The young woman just looked at her blankly. "You know, buy us a cup of coffee, talk to us, to get to know us better?" Still nothing from the young woman. Shepard cleared her throat.

"You are a lovely woman and I'm sure, a fascinating one as well, but my bondmate and I are in a monogamous marriage at the moment so we are not taking thirds."

The young woman nodded shyly. She looked a little disappointed with perhaps a tint of shame. Shepard felt bad so, against her better judgment, she decided to joke again.

"But who knows? I'm sure in a hundred years or so, my bondmate will be so sick of me, she will insist on a third."

Shepard sighed inwardly as she knew that she made a mistake almost immediately, forgetting her audience, when she saw many in the assembled crowd suddenly start to enter information on their omnitools. To a human, it would obviously be a joke. To the asari, who frequently made plans hundreds of years in advance, it was not so absurd. If she actually lived that long, she now expected a slew of very friendly invitations a hundred years from now.

"Okay, who is next? And I think that this would be a lot more productive if we limited the discussion to the issue at hand."

The VI moderator opened the extranet call-in and Shepard heard a small, very young voice.

"Hello? Is this Commander Shepard?"

"Hello. I can hear you. What is your question?"

"Um, I had a question about you and Doctor T'Soni."

"Okay. You sound very young. How old are you?"

"I'm twelve years old!" the girl responded with no small amount of indignity.

"I didn't know that twelve year olds were that interested in Thessian politics."

At this, Shepard heard an obviously older voice come on.

"I'm sorry, Admiral. When my daughter heard that you would be taking questions, she begged me to let her ask you a question. We've been waiting for 22 hours so that we would be the first in line."

"Okay. What is your name, sweetheart?"

"Ki'ra"

"Okay Ki'ra, what is your question?"

"Okay, I just have one question. Um. Okay. So, if you and Doctor T'Soni were to get into a battle to the death, who would win?"

"I think you misunderstand. Doctor T'Soni and I are bonded. We would never fight each other."

"Yeah, I know. But if you did, who would win?"

"We love each other, sweetheart. We would never ever fight each other."

"But if you had to. You know, if one of you went all evil or something."

"But we are family. We love each other. Do you have a sister?"

"Yes."

"And you love your sister so you would never hit her, right?"

The girl was quiet for a moment.

"Well. Almost never. She makes me really mad sometimes but my Dad says that she is smaller than me so I can't smack her even when she deserves it. And I've only used my biotics on her once. I got in a lot of trouble."

Shepard smiled. "Well, you should never hit those that you love. And you should only ever hit anyone if you absolutely have to protect yourself or others."

"Yeah. I know. But what if you had to? What if one of you became indoctrinated or something?"

Shepard chuckled. She realized that this was not a question about her and Liara. This was a question about 'Commander Shepard' and 'Doctor Liara T'Soni', those mythical war heroes. It was just another form of the ancient 'Superman or Batman' question. It was only worse now that the new animated kid's show The Adventures of Doctor T'Soni and Commander Shepard (Doctor T'Soni had the starring role as it was an asari-produced show) hit the extranet. Shepard hated the show and made a determined effort to keep her kids away from it.

"Okay. I want to make it clear. I don't think it is ever okay to hit anyone except in self-defense. But let's just say that we are in an alternate universe and in this universe, one of us is a bad guy instead of us both being good guys."

"Yes! That's it! Who would win?"

"Full shields and armor, me. No shields and armor and I think I might be in trouble."

Shepard heard the girl's voice obviously talking to someone in the background.

"See, I told you! She's a human and she's not biotic. Doctor T'Soni could take her."

"It was nice talking to you Ki'ra. I think we're ready for the next person for another question."

"Can I ask you just one more question?"

"Okay Ki'ra. But just one more. We have other people lined up here to ask questions."

The girl was quiet for a moment before she spoke in a small voice.

"Are the reapers really gone?"

Such a small question but a loaded one. Ki'ra had obviously been one of the lucky ones. Her family seemingly intact with a mom and dad and sister, she was probably one of the first ones evacuated when the reapers attacked but still the fear remained. She would have been maybe 8 years old when the War came to Thessia and even if she did get out quickly, she would have witnessed the monsters attacking from the sky. Living boogiemen come to life. She would have seen the normally seemingly all-knowing and afraid-of-nothing adults around her with the looks of sheer terror and confusion in their eyes. Shepard noticed that the audience around her, instead of distractedly looking at their omni-tools or talking quietly to those next to them as they had been, had become deathly silent and all eyes were focused on her.

"Listen to me, Ki'ra. The reapers are gone. They are never coming back. You have my word on that."

"Okay, thanks, bye." Ki'ra spoke quickly and brightly. Shepard turned towards the VI again who activated the microphone in one of the aisles. As expected, Ravana had picked herself up and was now waiting to speak, a condescending smirk on her face. Shepard saw her mouth moving but she could not make out the words. Ravana eyed the microphone in front of her as it became apparent that no sound was coming out.

"I am sorry. We seem to be having technical difficulties. I will now activate the other microphone." The VI said in its 'Avina'-like synthesized voice.

Shepard looked around for Aethyta but saw no sign of her. It was more than a little suspicious that Ravana had been prevented from speaking twice now but Shepard could not see how her father in law might have been interfering. Another woman began to speak as Shepard pondered the mystery.

"Admiral Shepard, it is good to speak to you. I just have one question. What do you think it is about humanity that allowed it to lead us to victory?"

"Humanity did not lead the galaxy to victory. It truly was a joint effort and every race contributed to the victory."

"Yes but when other races and governments were doing nothing, the humans pooled their resources and began the Crucible project. Do you think that humans are naturally more resilient or determined or braver?"

Behind the question was the obvious disgust and displeasure the woman had with her race and the asari government. Shepard sighed to herself. _Were any of the questions that she received today going to be about the issue at hand?_

"I don't think it's true that humans are any more resilient or determined than the other races. I definitely don't think we are braver or better fighters. I do think we are, perhaps more stubborn and thick-headed."

"So, you think we won the War because humans are stubborn?"

"No. I don't know how many times I can say this. We won the War because all the races came together and contributed their talents. We won the War because millions, if not billions, of people worked together and individually did their jobs, many of them risking everything for the victory. We humans might have started the ball rolling but that was mostly out of necessity, we were the first hit after the batarians after all, more than because of any racial trait."

"Yes but what was it about humanity that allowed your species to continue to fight? After seeing the devastation and seeing how powerful the enemy were, why did the humans keep fighting for months after the initial slaughter?"

"I've seen some of the reports from the fighting here on Thessia. There were many people on this planet who fought for days and weeks with little reason to believe that they would ever be rescued or that there was any way that they could survive. Maybe it's just that hope springs eternal for humans and asari. Have you ever heard the joke about humans and their ability to hope before? Well, I guess it's more of a parable really but it's amusing and enlightening, I believe, so if you'll indulge me? It's a little long so I apologize in advance." _And it might chew up some time so there are fewer questions_.

"Okay, there was this young man on Earth and he dreamed of going to the stars. He decided that he was going to sneak onto a starship taking colonists to a new settlement. He had no money and no way to get started on the new colony and all his friends said he was silly to sneak onto a colony when there was little chance that he could be successful there. But he was confident and more than a little naive and what he wanted was to live on another world so he stowed away anyway."

"He gets to the planet and doesn't get caught but he has no way to support himself until he finds an abandoned farm house. He soon finds out why it was abandoned. It was just teeming with snake-like creatures that had venom that could kill most sentient beings with a single bite. He had nothing to lose so he made a stick from a tree that he could use to fight the creatures and started methodically ridding the place of the snakes. He eventually clears out the farm and it turns out that it was on very good farmland. Through hard work and determination, he becomes a very successful and rich farmer until eventually; he becomes one of the richest people on the colony. He has a big home, a beautiful wife and healthy children and enough money to last him forever. He's so successful that he catches the attention of the other wealthy people on the colony who had no idea where this guy came from and they resented his success. One of the rich elites was so resentful that he decided to ruin this now older man."

"He made up lies about the man, saying that he stole the farm or worse, that he killed the former owners. His wife believes the lies and leaves him. His children don't believe him. He loses his reputation. They take him to court, take away his farm and money with the Elites taking it for themselves, of course. He is so hated that one night as he is sleeping on the ground near his old farm, some teenagers come and beat him up. They use sticks and just lay into him until he passes out. When he finally wakes up, he wipes the blood from his eyes and sees that they left one of the sticks that they beat him with. And he recognizes this stick. It's the old stick that he had used so many years before to clear out the farm. He has lost his wealth, his family, his reputation, his standing, his youth and now a few of his teeth. When he can finally speak, he says to himself 'at least there's hope. I got my stick back.' "

There are some laughs from the audience while others groaned and rolled their eyes. Shepard looked out at the audience and more pieces of the puzzle clicked together. The reason why the questions were seemingly about everything but the issue at hand. The reason why this bloody thing hadn't passed years ago when it was so obvious that it was needed. Perhaps more than any of the other races, the asari suffered the greatest loss of esteem and reputation during the war. Between the revelation of the asari keeping a prothean beacon a secret for all those years and their late entry into the joint war effort, the asari received the biggest black eye to their reputation. Not to mention, the startling revelations about the prothean involvement in asari history. Seemingly, as a result, they lost a bit of their collective confidence and their sense of themselves as a race. The asari needed a pep talk. Shepard had led men and women into battle countless times before. She could do pep talks or at least, she hoped, fake it enough to be effective.

"But enough about the humans, let's talk about the asari people. I know that there has been plenty of talk about what the asari did wrong before and during the war. Let's talk about what the asari did right and how without the asari, the war never would have been won."

"I think most of us have heard by now that the asari were guided by the protheans in their early history but the protheans have been gone for 50,000 years. Everything that the asari did after that point, good and bad, was the asari and the asari alone. The protheans were conquerors. They met a new species and subjugated that species through force. It led to a galaxy that was not diverse enough to beat the reapers. They failed because they acted with fear and the need to dominate."

"Let's do a thought experiment. About 1600 years ago, the asari developed faster than light space flight. You did it on your own by the way. You used prothean technology to be sure but they too used the technology from previous races as well, not to mention the technology left behind as a trap by the reapers. What would have happened if it were another race that made it to the Citadel first? The salarians were the first to come along after that and the asari, firmly in control of the Citadel, with superior technology and a superior military made the decision to be cooperative instead of just subjugating the salarians. It would have been relatively easy to conquer the salarians. But the asari didn't do that because that is not who you are. What would have happened if it were the krogan or the turians or even the humans who got there first?"

"I like to think that humans would have decided to cooperate and form the Council but I know better. Humans are not good at trusting each other, never mind unknown species. We also fear the unknown and there is nothing as violent as a scared human. We would have subjugated or tried to subjugate every race that we came across. Much as Cerberus tried to do. It would have led to either of two things. A hopelessly homogeneous galaxy united under the flag of humanity, like the protheans back in their day or a galaxy embroiled in continuous wars when the reapers showed up. Either way, the reapers would have won. The galaxy would have been lost again."

"But because it was the asari who got there first, that didn't happen. As a result, 1600 years later, the galaxy was a mostly united collection of mostly cooperative but independent races. Races that were able to come together, bring their individual talents and ideas together and beat the reapers. After perhaps a billion years of cyclical destruction and the eradication of all advanced organic life, the reapers were stopped and destroyed. And we managed to pull it off, after endless cycles of failure, because it was the asari who led us to that spirit of galactic cooperation."

Shepard looked at the assembled crowd surrounding her. She could see a look of pride on the faces of the younger and less restrained asari. _Time to lay it on even thicker_.

"The War still hasn't been won, in my mind, and won't be until we are back to whole. We will never get back the people we lost but we can get back our societies, our cultures and our economies. Which brings me to another way that the asari saved us all. After the War, everyone was reeling, including the asari. Whole cities all but leveled, millions dead, bodies everywhere, communications cut and the mass relays severely damaged. In that aftermath, the asari made the selfless decision to share their knowledge on how to repair the mass relays freely, without cost, to the other races. The other races would have paid just about any price for that technology because without it, it would have taken months, perhaps years, to get the relays operating again."

"With the devastation and the dire need for resources to survive and try to rebuild, I imagine the temptation was there to extort as much as possible from the other species in an effort to save as many asari as possible. But because you are wise and compassionate and empathic, you collectively saw that that was not the best way forward in the long run and as a result, you saved countless lives. That decision allowed the communications systems to be restored and interstellar travel to resume relatively quickly which allowed supplies and food to be distributed. Think about this, in the most devastating war the galaxy had seen in 50,000 years, there were no mass starvation events. There were disease epidemics but we were able to bring them under control because we were able to communicate and move needed resources around."

"But it's not just about what happened during the War and after. That's not the only influence that the asari have. Your philosophers are widely-read and widely-discussed throughout the galaxy. I may be just a hairy, knuckle-dragger but even I can see the beauty in your art and literature and music. As an orphan, I admire the way that you care for your children. If, by some accident of birth, I had been born on Thessia instead of on Earth, I know that I would not have had to try to survive on my own. The neglect and abuse of children is not tolerated here. No Thessian I have ever met would turn a blind eye to such a thing even if a child has no blood relations."

"There has been much discussion that having a permanent, centralized military will change the asari. There is concern that because such a military exists, the temptation will be there to use it. I do not believe that will happen. It is not who are. You should all be proud of the accomplishments of your people and excited about what the role of the asari will be in the future. I know I am proud to be a Thessian and you all should be as well." Shepard smiled slyly. "Or at least, I will be proud once I am finally allowed to become a citizen."

Shepard looked at the assembled crowd. If the audience were krogan, there would have been fist banging, head butting and cries of 'we are krogan!' If it were a crowd of humans, there would have been hoorahs, hollers and whoops. The asari only sat a little taller or stood a little straighter with faint smiles on their faces. Even the oldest and most restrained matriarchs seemed to glow a little brighter. _Egos stroked and feathers fluffed. Time to hit them with the good stuff. Time for the coup de grace or at least, I hope it will be. _Shepard brought up her omnitool and activated a screen.

"The asari are known not only for your great empathy and compassion but for your great intellects as well so you won't be convinced by emotional speeches alone. That's why I developed this program, the most comprehensive to date on this issue, and ran it through a quantum computer billions and billions of times. No military in the galaxy was going to beat the reapers but this program shows that had the military that is being proposed been in place, millions of lives would have been saved. Thessia would not have fallen before the Crucible fired. It would have been a brutal, grinding fight much like it was on Palaven but Thessia would not have fallen. If this change would have had that kind of effect on the worst enemy the galaxy has ever known, you can imagine the effect it would have on a lesser enemy."

"You don't need to take my word for it. I have set up a website where any interested party can go to examine the program, the criteria used and the algorithms. Your best scientists, mathematicians and statisticians can try to pick it apart and find errors. I'm confident that no major errors will be found in the methodology and that the results are valid."

"It appears that my time is almost up. I ask everyone to look at the evidence with an open mind. I ask that you all vote in the best interests of Thessia. I ask that you allow prudence to be your guide instead of shame for past mistakes or fear of change."

At that, Shepard smiled and bowed slightly.

"I thank the Matriarchy for giving me this chance to speak and I thank you all for your attention."

Aethyta disengaged her cloak in the deserted hallway behind the forum. The Blowhard had finally stopped talking. It gave her bad flashbacks of decades spent watching Benezia drone on and on about one thing or another in very similar forums. Aethyta eyed Ravana. The woman looked like she was about to literally explode but she was no threat now. She wouldn't dare say nor do anything to The Mouth now as it would only be seen as a sign of weakness. She watched Shepard as she moved through the adoring crowd, looking way too pleased with herself. Aethtya brought up her omnitool and called Liara.

"Did you watch it?"

"I saw some of it. The girls have been very active today. How did Shepard do?"

"She did good. She did real good. The bad news is that now she looks like she is in love with herself."

Liara sighed. "Is she swaggering?"

"It's more like a strut swagger."

"Goddess! I will have to have the door enlarged just so she can get her head through it. How was she received?"

"It's bad. Half these bitches here are wet just listening to her."

"I meant, how was her advocacy received? Do you think it will pass the general vote?"

"I'd bet on it. Unless they find some serious error with this program of hers, I'd say her speech cinched it."

"What program?"

"She didn't tell you? She created some program that ran scenario simulations billions of times. Changing the military will save lives and the program proves it."

"Good. Will I see you soon?"

"I'm heading to a bar. I need a drink or three in the worst way."

"I trust you will be prudent in your imbibing? Thank you for the warning, Dad."

"I'm a thousand years old. I don't need any hundred year old baby telling me when I need to be prudent and when I don't. Take care Kid and good luck dealing with Admiral Ego."

Shepard was slowly moving forward through the hall outside the forum, literally being interrupted with every step. Thankfully, she saw an obviously livid Ravana storm off in another direction. She excused herself from another unwanted conversation and was just about to make it to the door when she saw Matriarch Alecta step into her path, looking straight at her. In many ways, political battles were even more tiring than physical ones and she wanted nothing more than to just go home to see Liara and the kids but it was unavoidable. Matriarch Alecta had a smile on her face when she spoke.

"I just wanted to congratulate you on your advocacy today. Even Matriarch Benezia herself would have been impressed with her daughter-in-law's performance.

"Thank you, Alecta. I just did my best. Now if you'll excuse me, I really must…"

"Commander Shepard, may I ask you something?"

_Don't really care very much for formality or rank but I earned it so you, of all people, are going to use it_. "It's Admiral and yes."

"My apologies, Admiral. I've just heard 'Commander Shepard' so much today that I lost myself. No insult was intended."

"Nor was any taken. You had a question?"

"When you were on the Citadel. How close did it get?"

Shepard looked at the matriarch quizzically.

"Were you confident that you would succeed? I guess my question is, how close did we get to failing? How close did it get to you not even being able to fire the Crucible at all?"

Instead of answering, Shepard held up the thumb and and index finger of one hand close together before her eye and then pushed them together. "I had already passed out once and was about to pass out again. I still have no idea how I managed to get that last shot off. I had almost completely lost my vision at that point, except for a small tunnel surrounded by black."

"So, would you say that success came down to one person?"

Shepard thought about it. "No, I would say that success was dependent on hundreds of thousands of people, millions of people. There were so many variables, so many places where the whole thing could have unraveled, so many places where one person not doing their job could have ruined the whole thing. I would say that failure could have come down to one person but success depended upon those millions of people from all over the galaxy doing their job."

After another moment, Shepard continued. "Think about it. What if one of the engineers working on the Crucible had got just one little thing wrong and the others didn't catch it? What if just one of the parts used was defective? What if one pilot in one ship got scared and one of the reapers was able to get through to the Crucible because of it? Just one well-placed shot might have made it inoperable. What if just one man had decided not to try to make it across that no man's land and the bullet that he took, I ended up taking instead? I could come up with a hundred different times when one failure might have meant the whole plan falling apart."

"That's a terrifying thought."

Shepard thought about all the nightmares that she had, not only about what she did, but also the ones where she replayed successful missions in her mind. Only this time, she was too slow or made a mistake or a problem came up that the team just couldn't solve and she was powerless to do anything to prevent their defeat or destruction.

"Welcome to my world, Matriarch."

_This is different_, Shepard thought._ I actually feel like I'm talking with a real person here instead of someone who thinks of me as an inferior. Not sure if I should reveal this but..._

"I used to have nightmares about it all the time. About that one thing that could go wrong. Still do sometimes."

"Would you and Liara like to have dinner with me sometime? Perhaps next week?"

_That's a surprise. No. I don't think I would enjoy that very much. _But instead, Shepard said, "I'm sure we would both enjoy that very much, Alecta."

"Good. I'll have my assistant call you."

"I look forward to it."

Shepard turned to leave but stopped herself.

"I don't suppose you've seen Matriarch Aethyta?"

"I saw her leave in a taxi not long after your speech ended."

"Thank you. I'll see you next week."


	69. Chapter 69

When Shepard got home from the forum, she found Liara and the kids in the play room. Shepard poked her head in.

"Did you see it, Liara? I had the natives eating right out my hand."

"Daddy!" Benezia bolted up and ran to greet her father as she always did after even the shortest absence. Shepard hugged her daughter and gave her a kiss in return.

"Hi Peanut. How are you today?"

"The natives, huh? How did it go?"

Shepard put Benezia back down in front of her toys, gave Edi a kiss and then went to sit down next to Liara. She moved towards Liara trying to nuzzle her neck.

"Well, I don't like to brag but I was brilliant. Now that I'm no longer smacking bad guys, I had to do something to impress my beautiful, young bondmate."

Shepard leaned in closer but had to catch herself as Liara suddenly pulled away and bolted up. It was about that time that Shepard became aware of horrible smell filling the small room.

"I think your daughter just let her feelings be known about your performance. Your turn with the girls, Shepard."

"Liara wait! Let me at least take off my dress uniform. Do you know how hard it is to get sh…doo doo off of ribbons?"

Liara only smiled as she left the room.

"Daddy! Edi poop!"

Shepard sighed.

"Yes, I am aware of that, Bene. Daddy has to go change her. You stay here and play."

"You gwoss Edi! You smell up our stuffies."

"You were just as gross, young lady, when you used to poop in your pants."

"I did not!"

"You did too. Now, wait here."

"But it smells!"

"I'm taking the smell with me."

About an hour later, Shepard had everyone dressed in their bathing suits and had a daughter on each hip as she went to go locate her bondmate again. She found her in her office, watching Shepard's speech on one monitor while examining the scenario sim on the other.

"The girls and I are going for a swim in the pool where we will all keep our bathing suits on." Shepard turned her head to eye Benezia who only smiled in return. Luckily, Edi was still too young to have figured out how to undress herself yet. "Do you want to come?"

"No, thank you. This scenario simulator is really solid work. I haven't been able to locate anything wrong with the underlying criteria or methodology used. Was this Samantha or Kahlee Sanders or Brynn Cole or maybe all three? It really is a sophisticated piece of work."

"You see? There you go insulting me again. How do you know that I didn't create the program? Are you trying to say that I am not smart enough to do such a thing?"

Liara just ignored the question.

"Okay, fine. It was Samantha with some help from Astrea. I think they are thinking about leaving the Alliance and starting a small computer systems business on one of the colonies somewhere. I needed the program to prove my intuition and they need extra credits for seed money. It was win-win."

Liara smiled at Shepard.

"I was wondering where all those credits were going. I just assumed you were spending them all on those extranet games and those other websites that you visit."

"Haha. Very funny. The girls and I will be leaving now."

"Shepard?"

"Yes?"

"You did a great job. Though we are going to have a discussion about some of the things that were said. If we were to fight and you didn't have shields and armor, you think you *might* be in trouble?"

Shepard smiled. "I might still have a chance!"

Liara just shook her head again.

"Oh, before I forget. I saw Matriarch Alecta at the forum. We got roped into dinner at her house next week."

Liara perked up.

"Really? Oh, that's wonderful!"

"Glad one of us will enjoy it. We'll see you later."

The dinner had gone remarkably well and Shepard found herself almost enjoying it. The Matriarch had even been considerate enough to provide food for Shepard without the healthy dose of eezo that most asari foods contained. Shepard had no problem eating most asari foods but she always thought that the eezo made it taste a little off. So far, their host had been nothing but gracious and welcoming. Shepard couldn't shake the feeling that the pleasantness of the evening would change soon as Shepard doubted that she and Liara had been invited over simply to break bread with Alecta.

"I was distressed to learn about the human counselor. Did you know him personally, Admiral?"

"It's an embarrassment to be sure. He was always a jerk but I had no idea that he was a corrupt jerk. I just don't get it. He is one of the richest humans alive. Why would he compromise himself and humanity like that for credits?!"

"We have rich asari like that as well. It becomes a game to them to see how rich they can become and they don't win unless they are the richest. I also have it on good authority that Mr. Rogers was keeping no fewer than six asari mistresses. That cannot be cheap. Especially when none of them knew of the existence of the others. I've heard rumors that one of them found out about the other ones and helped the council with its investigation."

Shepard looked at Liara briefly and smiled. "Only six? I could get more than that if I wanted and I wouldn't need credits to do it."

Liara kicked Shepard under the table while Alecta laughed.

"Ouch! I said if I wanted to!"

"I dare say you are correct, Shepard. Who do you support as his replacement on the council?"

"I think Admiral Lynette Hotham would be a good choice. She is a career-long administrator with the Alliance and worked as a liaison between the military and the Parliament but she was also a combat commander in the War so she can see both sides and can operate well in the military or political worlds. Her odds are not good though."

"And why is that?"

"Unlike on Thessia where all citizens decide by direct vote, it is the Parliament who votes on who will represent Earth as Councilor. Another businessman, Morell Gurnsey, has their majority support, mostly because like Rogers, he is rich. There is the belief that with the economy in such a tenuous state, only a businessman can improve things for humanity."

"An understandable belief. What I don't understand is how Terra Firma can still win elections on Earth and in your Parliament. I hear that they are putting forth a candidate for Councilor as well."

"I don't understand it either. Luckily, most humans aren't stupid enough to think that way anymore and they remain a small, if vocal, minority."

There was a break in the small talk and Shepard decided to get to the bottom of things.

"So, Alecta, was there some reason that you invited us over here? Was there something you wanted?" Shepard said preemptively.

Liara glared at her. "Shepard! We are having a perfectly lovely dinner. Why do you have to assume that Alecta has an ulterior motive? Why do you have to be so suspicious?"

Shepard smiled. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because this is the woman who forced me into an unwanted and unpaid job by threat of jail?"

Alecta smiled at both Shepard and Liara.

"No hidden agenda. I just wanted to get to know you better, Katherine. May I call you Katherine?"

"You can call me Shepard. Everyone does, even Liara. When Liara calls me Katherine, I get afraid because she only uses that name when she's really mad at me."

"Very well, Shepard. As you know, Liara's mother and I were very close friends. I promised her that I would look after Liara should anything happen to her. I just want to get to know you better. I've been remise in not inviting you over earlier but I felt it would be…awkward."

Shepard couldn't help but laugh. "You mean because you forced me into slave labor by threat of jail? Now why would that be awkward at a dinner party?"

Alecta could tell that despite the words, Shepard was not really angry any longer about her sentence so she laughed in return.

"Not slave labor, a sentence for crimes committed, albeit relatively minor crimes. And I don't regret giving you the sentence at all. The progress all across Thessia and the colonies has been remarkable since you started your job, I mean, your sentence."

"Uh huh. Maybe I can commit some more 'crimes' so you can enslave me some more."

"I noticed that your thousand hours have long since passed and yet you have not visited the court to get your sentence confirmed completed, Shepard."

Shepard shrugged. "I think I'm still helping. When I'm no longer helping or when I'm no longer in danger of driving my bondmate insane if I stay in the house too much, I'll quit." Shepard grinned at Liara.

"I can't imagine that last one coming true any time soon. Besides, admit it, you kind of like being able to get off planet every once and a while. It's been difficult for you to be so settled after being in the Alliance for so long." Liara offered.

"You forget, I was stuck on the Citadel for almost two whole years in your absence."

"And you hated it."

"I hated it because of how people treated me and because of all the expectations on me, not because I was in one place. Though I admit, I sometimes miss gallivanting all over the known galaxy."

"Don't you experience the same here on Thessia? You are very well-known."

"I do but I don't think it's as bad. Maybe because Liara is here with me, it just doesn't feel as bad. It doesn't feel as intense here. Though I do admit, I still like visiting the wilderness to get away from everyone every so often."

"Didn't one of your little wilderness visits almost kill you?"

"Yes. What's one little near-death experience? Besides, I've been here long enough that my body should have been exposed to most of the little nasty things on the planet. I'm almost a native at this point." Shepard frowned. "Except that I have no biotic ability. I'm so jealous that I can't lift things with a thought. It's so unfair."

"How long did you know my Mother, Alecta? I remember you coming over to the house when I was very young so I imagine it was a long friendship."

"It was. I knew your Mother for centuries. We ran in the same circles here in Armali for a long time." Alecta smiled before continuing. "We even dated for years before your Father came out of nowhere."

Shepard noticed a subtle change on Alecta's face as she mentioned Aethyta. She guessed that there was some unpleasant history between them and she guessed that it had something to do with Benezia.

"And Benezia chose Aethyta instead of you? Is that why your relationship ended?" Shepard asked bluntly, curious to see if the matriarch would be honest with her. Alecta sighed.

"Ancient history but true. At one point, I thought it would be Benezia and I who would be bonded. Instead, this rough and course older woman from one of the back-water cities came out of nowhere and completely swept Benezia off her feet. I was hurt but somehow, decades later, I got over it and we managed to stay friends. Though I admit, I still don't see what Benezia saw in that woman. It all worked for the best. After a couple decades, I met my own Bondmate and we had two beautiful children together. Though she was a turian so she has since passed on, I'm afraid."

Shepard was impressed and could tell that Alecta was being honest with her despite the embarrassing nature of the conversation. Shepard made the decision that she would try to be friends with this woman despite the fact that she had been railroaded by her in the past.

"Yes. It appears that falling for less-educated, rougher-hewn mates runs in the T'Soni family." Shepard winked at Liara. "There was nothing you could have done Alecta. It's probably genetic. God, I hope Bene and Edi don't turn out that way."

Alecta smiled.

"So, would you say that you are an uneducated person, Shepard?"

"I wouldn't say that. I would say that I had very little formal education and perhaps am not as polished as those with more formal education." Shepard smiled again at Alecta. "Probably much like Aethyta, though I don't know her background."

"She went to university like most asari, if I recall, but I don't think she ever took it very seriously. Certainly not as much as Benezia and I. How many years of formal education do you have, Shepard?"

"Let me see, my only formal education was the Academy, so I guess, 4 years? But I did go to grade school a few years when I was very young. So maybe 7 years total?"

Both women looked at Shepard with a look between shock and horror.

Shepard looked at Liara with a slight smile on her face. "That's right, T'Soni, you married someone with only seven years of education."

"Not what I would have expected for myself, I admit." Liara paused. "Hopefully, I'll do better next time."

Shepard's slight smile grew into a grin. "How many years of formal education do you have, Liara? Have I even been alive that many years?"

"Can you pass the salt? It's on your right." Liara paused for effect and spoke to Shepard like she was speaking to a child. "Now, just make believe you are going to shake someone's hand. That's your right."

"So, what did you study for all those years?" This time Shepard paused for effect. "Like, e_verything_!?"

"Not enough to choose a sophisticated, educated partner, apparently."

"I'm sophisticated. Wait, what does that word mean again? It's a big one. And I'm cultured too. I even went to the opera a couple weeks back. "

"And slept through half of it."

"It was 18 hours long! There are limits to human endurance."

"And I seem to recall, the big, tough Admiral Shepard cried during some of it too."

"I did not! I was just bored to tears."

"Wait a minute. They let people into the Alliance Academy without, what is it called on Earth, a high school education?" Liara asked the question with that familiar tilt to her head that she unconsciously got when she is curious about something.

Shepard grinned again.

"No. No they don't. You need a high school diploma just to apply."

"Then how did you get in?"

"I passed the entrance exams and I faked the records. Should I be saying this in front of the Hanging Judge here?"

"I promise not to bring you up on charges. Besides, I don't have any jurisdiction for crimes committed on Earth." Matriarch Alecta said smiling.

"How did you pass the entrance exams? I've read that the academic exam is quite difficult." Liara asked.

"I studied. I may not be as edumacated as you but I'm smart! It wasn't too hard except for the math. It's hard to just pick up some of that higher math when you don't have a solid foundation. But my academic scores were high enough that along with my stellar but entirely faked academic record, my other test results and my recommendation from the heroic David Anderson, I got in."

"I didn't know that you knew Admiral Anderson back then."

Shepard smiled again. "I didn't."

"You forged his recommendation."

Shepard shrugged. "It's not my problem that the Academy doesn't check the references as well as they should. But he found out about it not long after I entered the Academy. He didn't rat me out though. He gave me a chance to prove myself. He pushed me really hard. I definitely had to work my ass off for that recommendation. But he must have been satisfied with the results because he was the one who really did recommend me for the N 7 program and then when he got the Normandy, he chose me as his XO."

"And the rest is history. And you think that you're pretty clever, don't you?" Liara asked.

"And the rest is history. And I must be pretty clever if I convinced the prettiest, smartest asari in the whole galaxy to marry me. " Shepard agreed with a smirk and a wink as she grabbed Liara's hand to kiss her knuckles.

Matriarch Alecta piped in. "So, even back then, you were breaking the law and flouting the rules?"

"Again, I know you don't like this argument, but I followed the spirit of the law. The Academy has these rules and procedures in place so that they only allow in talented people who are committed to the Alliance. I knew that I would do a good job for them so not following the letter of the law was no big deal in my eyes. Besides, I did it so I could stop breaking the law like I was forced to do in my youth. The important laws that protect people."

"I am aware of your childhood and it is remarkable that you were able to break away from it, no matter how you did it. Was the Academy where you learned to work with other races? Looking at your history, you seemed to be able to trust individuals from other races far quicker than other humans do. Under your leadership, the crew of the first Normandy became quite diverse pretty quickly." Alecta asked.

"I learned when I was very young that just because someone looks like me and has the same blood running through their veins doesn't mean that they won't hurt me. And that the reverse is also true. I also learned how to read other people to see if they were lying to me. My very survival depended upon it."

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you learn this?" Alecta asked tentatively.

Shepard sighed. Thinking about these old memories, even all these years later, still made her feel uncomfortable and vulnerable.

"I learned it the hard way and I had some very good instructors. Like the human woman who tried to sell me into slavery when I was ten and the human male who tried to rape me when I was twelve. Both inadvertently taught me valuable lessons."

"You've never told me about this. What happened to these people? Did they hurt you?" Liara asked darkly as she shifted in her chair.

"I've already shared so many of the nightmares bumping around in my head with you, I didn't want to add to them. Neither one of them was successful." Shepard smiled slightly. "And before you mount a search and destroy mission, both of them left this existence long ago."

"How did you get away from them? You were too little to fight for yourself." Liara asked.

"I was lucky and I physically developed pretty young. By the time I was twelve, I was as tall as I am today. I was kind of scrawny back then but I was always stronger than average. Just genetics, I suppose. I took care of the man myself. I tried to get away from him but he just wouldn't let me go. It was him or me and I...did what I had to do." Shepard looked away from Liara as she said the last words.

Liara took Shepard's hand in hers. Liara looked like she was going to cry. "I'm so sorry Shepard. You were so young."

"It's okay. Ask me how I got away from the Slaver."

"Okay. How did you get away from the Slaver?"

"This woman, I guess she needed the credits, charmed five of us street rats to go with her. We were captured and held against our will for days in the basement of some bar or something. One night, she came down to get us. We were tied up and were brought to some alley. I assume that's where the exchange to some Terminus slaver ring was supposed to take place. We are just waiting there, crying, helpless when suddenly this turian appears. The woman and her two buddies were surprised to see him and they warned him to mind his own business and keep walking." Shepard took a drink of water before continuing. "But he didn't. Instead, he warned them that they should let us go or else. Now, think about this for a minute. This was only about seven years after the First Contact War. To say that turians were hated on Earth is an understatement. I have no idea why he was there on Earth. Maybe he was part of the diplomatic teams that the turians sent to Earth around that time. I have no idea why he showed up in that alley but he did. And for some reason, he took pity on these scrawny, dirty human kids that no one else cared about. Of course, the Slaver and her buddies weren't about to let some turian keep them from their credits so they fired on him. He took them all down so fast that I didn't even see what happened exactly."

"You were very lucky that an honorable, compassionate turian found you that day, Admiral." Alecta commented.

"I never did thank him for it either. He let me out of my restraints and I just took off running. He was a turian after all. The devil incarnate on Earth at that time. I always wondered why he was there and who he was. If there is one person who helped me survive my childhood, it was that man."

Liara smiled at Shepard. "That explains your little crush on Garrus."

"I do not have a crush on Garrus. He's like a brother to me. I remember that I did grow to trust him rather quickly. Probably because he was always so honest and open with me. Even about his less than stellar CSec career and his reasons for leaving CSec. Of course, there was an alien on board the first Normandy who I did get a crush on right away."

"And more than one alien who had a crush on you right away."

"I like to think that I have my charms. But I'm sick of talking about myself, Alecta. Tell me about Liara when she was young."

"Oh Goddess." Liara pleaded.

"She was a good child but she was definitely a handful for her mother at times. She was always very bright and a little shy but also very curious and a bit stubborn."

"So, in other words, nothing has changed. Here it is a hundred years later and she is exactly the same."

"Not fair. There is no one that I can ask about your childhood."

"Did she ever tell you about the time that she ended up off world, alone, when she was only twelve years old?"

Shepard grinned and leaned forward. "No. Please do tell."

"Oh Goddess. Please don't."

"Well, she was about twelve years old, I believe. Remember that asari children develop a little slower than human children and don't reach full physical, sexual and psychological maturity until around age forty so she was very young. There was this story going around in the news that off-worlders were stealing prothean artifacts from some of the museums on Thessia. Some of the artifacts were just disappearing at the time and the rumor was that it was aliens visiting Thessia who were taking them. Just a bit of xenophobic tabloid journalism, no doubt, but Liara apparently heard these stories. She was at…was it the Guildhal, Liara?"

Liara sighed again before responding.

"It was the Galactic Unity Museum over in Serrice. I begged my Mother for months to take me there because they had just been bequeathed a large collection of prothean artifacts. I was so excited to finally be going."

"Right. So as Benezia told me, one minute, Liara was next to her actually educating Benezia on the prothean artifacts that they were looking at and the next minute, she was gone. Benezia was one of the coolest under pressure people that I've ever met but after searching for Liara for ten minutes to no avail, she completely panicked. She ordered the museum locked down. And when they still couldn't find her, she was able to get the matriarchs to shut down every shuttle port, sea port and space port in the whole city. Serrice is a major city. I don't think I have to tell you the havoc that that caused."

Shepard looked at Liara, shaking her head while Liara hid her head in her hands.

"And I thought I was a brat! That must have cost millions, not to mention all the people inconvenienced!"

"I know, I know! My Mother never raised her voice to me but she got close that time. She lectured me for months afterward about how much money and time I cost other people. Not to mention, all the favors that she then owed the other matriarchs. I was lectured almost nonstop about how our actions have consequences, not only to ourselves but to others. It was a nightmare but I didn't mean to do it. I was simply doing what I thought was right!"

"So what happened? Where did you go?"

Liara sighed before continuing where Alecta left off.

"I was examining the prothean artifacts with my mother when I noticed this turian. He had a large case with him and I saw him exit through a side door. It looked suspicious to my young eyes." Liara laughed. "Naturally, I had heard the stories so I put two and two together and got 18. I was so sure that he was stealing, that I just had to follow him."

Shepard eyed Liara suspiciously. "And that was your motivation? It had nothing to do with the big box and your need to know what was in it?"

"I thought I was going to stop a crime, Shepard. It had nothing to do with my curiosity. If he had turned out to be a criminal and there were stolen antiquities in that case, no one would have been angry at me."

Shepard laughed and put her head in her hand. "And if I were 500 hundred pounds and had natural armored plates for skin, I'd be a krogan. So, what happened next?"

Alecta continued the story.

"Apparently, Liara followed this man to his private shuttle at the spaceport. She somehow snuck on to his shuttle without him noticing. He took off for Palaven before the lockdown was placed by Benezia, unwittingly carrying a stowaway."

"Jesus, that must have been scary, Liara. What happened next?"

"We were already through the Parnitha Relay when he found me. I was so terrified! I think I was shaking all over. But he was very kind. I got up enough courage to accuse him of stealing prothean artifacts while generating the smallest, most pathetic biotic field ever created by an asari. He just laughed at me. He then showed me the inside of the case. It did have a prothean object in it. I thought I was justified in my actions until he showed me his credentials and the paperwork to go with the object. He was a curator from the Cipritine History and Culture Museum on Palaven. They actually owned the object and he was retrieving it after it had been on loan to the Unity Museum." Liara began laughing at the memory as did Shepard and Alecta. "Looking back on it, I can't imagine how he kept from rolling on the floor laughing as this tiny asari interloper demanded to see what was in the box and then demanded to see his credentials and then demanded to see the paperwork for the object. He must have been impressed by my foolish courage and my passion for the protheans because we began a decades-long correspondence after that. He even wrote me a recommendation when I applied for the doctorate program at Serrice."

"That was Doctor Deceus Callinus, wasn't it?"

"Indeed it was. I still miss him sometimes. He passed away shortly after I entered Serrice."

"Your mother spoke fondly of him and she was eternally grateful to him when he contacted her about twenty hours after you went missing. She was beside herself at that point. Your mother was a brave woman but she was terrified while you were missing. I had never seen her as upset as she was then. She loved you very much, Liara. I know that you felt lonely as a child and you felt like you were not her priority but you were the most important thing in her universe. I hope that you don't doubt that."

Liara reached across the table and squeezed Alecta's hand. The three women were silent for a moment, lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Liara, with tears in her eyes, looked at Alecta.

"I left her, Alecta. When she tried to dissuade me from going for my doctorate in archaeology, I went anyway and then often went months without returning her calls and years without returning home. I was so angry. I was such a child. I sometimes wonder if I had been here if…."

Alecta grabbed her hand and cut her off.

"No, Liara! Your mother would not want you to take on such a horrible and untrue burden."

"Yes, but, maybe if I had been in her life more…"

"No. You know as well as I do that your mother had an unwavering sense of duty. Once she crossed paths with Saren, she would not have let it drop if she thought she could help him and stop him from his destructive path. You would not have been able to prevent her from trying. That would not have changed even if you had been the dutiful daughter who gave up her own dreams to follow in your mother's footsteps. She was actually proud of you for going your own way, you know. When so many other young asari just follow the path of least resistance and live off their parent's money for hundreds of years, you went out on your own and did things your own way. Ironically, it was this quality that convinced your mother that you were destined to be a leader for the asari and to the galaxy. And oh, was she right, Liara. In that, your mother was almost clairvoyant."

"I'm not a leader, Alecta. I just did my part doing the War. Now, I am very happy to raise my children and get back to my research and my historical artifacts."

"And I hope you are very happy Liara. I hope you enjoy this time with your children and your charming bondmate. But one never knows when the galaxy might call again."

"If the galaxy calls, I'm not available."

"Time will tell, Liara."

Liara sighed and rolled her eyes. Shepard caught Alecta's eyes, winked and nodded slightly before she stopped suddenly when Liara turned to look at her.

"Do you have something to add, Shepard? Is this some sort of conspiracy brewing?"

Alecta addressed Shepard.

"Speaking of conspiracies, I have many photos and vids of Liara as she was growing up. Would you care to see them while we have our tea?"

"I would absolutely love that! You don't happen to have any vids from some of Liara's old swimming races, do you?"

Liara only sighed again as Shepard bolted up and excitedly followed Alecta to her living room. Alecta spoke over her shoulder as she walked.

"And now that we are friends watching old family vids together, maybe I can convince you to go through the bonding ceremony, Shepard. Not only would you become a citizen so much easier but you would instantly get parental rights to Benezia and Edi. And just think how good it would be for the morale of the public, who are still suffering so much, to have a celebrity wedding to distract them from their problems. Just think how good it would be for asari-human relations to have two such famous individuals of both species publicly joined."

"I knew it. I knew there was something that you would try to rope me into. We're already bonded, Alecta. Your laws need to be changed to honor marriages from other planets and cultures. Was your mother this relentless, Liara? To persuade you to do what she wanted?"

Liara smiled. "Much worse, Shepard. I won't be the only one tortured tonight. Matriarchs are known for trying to 'persuade' people for years until decades or even centuries later, they eventually get what they want."

"Well, I'm already bonded, Alecta. And I won't be roped into any more dog and pony shows. Nice try though. Feel free to do your worst but I'll die before I get bonded again."


	70. Chapter 70

Shepard landed the shuttle in the small republic of Notari, located on the southern continent of the asari colony world of Chroma. Through the viewer screens, Shepard could see a small throng of onlookers, as well as about twelve dignitaries, waiting to catch a glimpse of the celebrities coming to visit them. Shepard had already been to the colony before to help with the rebuilding but there was still more that needed to be done. In the larger republics, Shepard's arrival was often ignored by everyone except for the matriarchs and matrons who were seeking her aid but on the smaller, sleepier colonies, her visits were often big news. It was not unusual for on-lookers to crowd the landing pad in the hopes of seeing her or maybe even speaking to the galaxy-famous 'Commander' Shepard. Shepard turned to her co-pilot.

"You ready for this, baby?"

"Why are there so many people here? Is it always like this?"

"No but this is a small republic. Not much exciting happens here so even boring old us is an attraction. There weren't this many people last time, as I recall. Maybe they're here to see the famous Doctor Liara T'Soni, discoverer of the Crucible plans and Savior of the Galaxy?" Shepard gave her a wink.

"Goddess, I've always hated crowds."

"I know. Just head to the dignitaries, make your introductions and I'll go work the crowd. It will be over before you know it and then we can get down to work."

Shepard exited the shuttle first and there was a cheer as she stepped on the ground. She smiled and waved to the crowd. There was another cheer as Liara stepped out. She smiled shyly and then made a beeline towards the waiting dignitaries. Shepard turned and trotted over to the crowd, smiling as she did.

Shepard shook hands with several of the people in the traditional asari way, palms up, kind of like a high five without the slap. She made small talk with them as she did. She noticed a small girl on her mother's hip, staring at her hair. She had encountered this before. While humans were relatively common on Thessia and the larger colonial republics, some of the younger children at the smaller settlements had never seen a real, live human before. She addressed the young child.

"Are your hands sticky?"

In response, the girl shyly showed Shepard her hand. Shepard tilted her head towards the girl.

"Go ahead. Touch it. But please don't pull it. It hurts when it gets pulled."

The girl reached her hand out and pet Shepard's head. The girl smiled, her curiosity satisfied.

"Soft. Why you have hair?"

"Because I'm a human and all humans have hair."

"Why?"

"It's just the way that we developed. It protects us from the sun and from cold."

"Why?"

Shepard looked at the girl's mother, a smile on her face.

"Let me guess. She's right around two and half or three? My daughter was that age when she started asking why for everything. She is relentless."

"You are absolutely right, Admiral."

Shepard noticed a small group of children looking at her. She trotted over to them, crouched down and let them feel her hair. She then put her fist out to one of the girls.

"Fist bump." Shepard encouraged.

The girl smiled brightly and put her fist to Shepard's as the other girls waited to do the same.

Liara had finished making her introductions and briefly discussed their needs to the matriarchs of the colony. As she waited for Shepard to finish 'working the crowd' as she called it, her eyes couldn't help but be drawn to her bondmate. For a moment, she got a feeling of déjà vu as she remembered watching her mother as a child as her mother did her own meet and greets. Like Shepard, she had a sort of magic that people were drawn to. Her mother would smile and people would automatically like her and want to get to know her better. Shepard had that same type of charisma.

She was also, Liara thought with a flush, an undeniably beautiful woman. Unlike her mother, who always wore formal gowns when she was working, Shepard wore a pair of khaki cargo pants with a simple open-necked white shirt tugged into them. Her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows as usual. Despite the casual, bulky pants, her tall, lean frame easily made her the most attractive woman present or at least, Liara thought so. Her blond hair fell well below her shoulders now and it flowed behind her, shining and golden in the sun. Liara made a mental note to jump her bondmate as soon as they finished their work here.

Liara made another mental note to tease Shepard about being a politician just like her mother. While her mother had given the impression of a wise, kind, compassionate but aloof stateswoman, Shepard gave the impression of an unpretentious woman of the people. Despite Shepard's vehement declarations that she hated politicians and would die before becoming one, Liara realized that it was not so different than what she did during the war. The only difference being the intense periods of actual combat and the fact that she did it with guns strapped to her back instead of the small, concealed pistol that Liara knew she had in one of her pockets now. Perhaps one day, she would consider becoming the councilor for Earth as many from her planet had hoped she would.

For right now, however, they had the problems of Notari to try to help solve and the sooner they started, the sooner they could get back to their girls. Shepard finally headed away from the crowds and walked towards Matriarch Lirus, who was in charge of child welfare and orphans for the republic. Liara moved to intercept her. Liara knew more than anyone that Shepard had more than a small soft spot for children in general and orphans specifically. Despite deciding together that they could best help the most war orphans by donating money and by Shepard's work making sure that the different child welfare departments at the various republics had the resources that they needed, Liara lived in fear that Shepard would someday have a moment of weakness and pick up a stray. Better that she looked after the needs for that department and have Shepard handle the problems that the law enforcement department was still having. Liara intercepted Shepard.

"Shepard, this is Chief Keva with the Notari Police Department and she has urgent matters that she would like to discuss with you."

Shepard nodded at Liara and then turned her attention to Chief Keva who quickly whisked her away as Liara turned to Matriarch Lirus.

"Would you like to go back to your offices, Matriarch Lirus. We can discuss your needs more in depth there and then hopefully, think of some solutions."

The Matriarch bowed to Liara and led her to the awaiting skycar.

When they arrived at the Child Welfare building, Liara noticed a small child waiting in the reception area outside the Matriarch's office. Liara guessed that the girl was maybe 6 or 7. She was quietly reading a datapad when Lirus spoke to her Assistant.

"Niria? This is Doctor Liara T'Soni. We will be discussing our issues in my office. Do you mind watching Jacey for a little longer?"

"Of course not, Matriarch. She is no trouble at all. I barely know that she's there."

Niria moved around her desk excitedly and held her palm up to Liara.

"It is an honor to meet you, Doctor T'Soni. I've read about everything that you did during the War and…I just can't believe that I'm actually meeting you!"

Liara smiled at the woman and pressed their palms together. She still had a hard time believing it whenever she met a hero-struck fan. How could she possibly have fans? Archaeologists and academics did not have fans. She tried to think of something to say.

"The honor is mine. I'm happy to be here in Notari. It's a beautiful city from what I've seen so far."

"Thank you! You're from Armali so Notari must seem so small and boring. How long are you staying here? Perhaps, I could…?"

"I'm afraid that Doctor T'Soni and I have much to discuss and she will be leaving today, Niria." Matriarch Lirus interrupted Niria . "Perhaps you could get us both some of our famous Notari tea?"

"Of course, Matriarch."

As Niria left the room, Matriarch Lirus went over to the girl reading her datapad and knelt down in front of her.

"How are you, Jacey? Do you need anything?"

The girl looked up expressionless and shook her head before returning to her datapad. There was something about the girl's eyes that struck Liara. They were completely emotionless and cold. Perhaps she has some medical condition?, Liara thought as she watched Lirus pat the girl on the shoulder affectionately and then move back towards her. Both women moved into the Matriarch's office. Lirus motioned Liara to one of the chairs in front of her desk before starting to speak.

"As I was saying previously, all of our younger war orphans have been placed but the older ones are a more difficult problem. They have no parents or trust funds to help ease them into adulthood and they are not quite old enough to make it on their own, especially with no money for university or to open a business."

"From what I understand, it is a problem all of the republics are facing. How can we help the twenty and thirty and forty year olds who are not still children and yet not quite adults? I'm curious, Matriarch. You said that all of the younger children have found homes. Was the girl out in the reception area your daughter?"

The Matriarch sighed. "No, she is a war orphan but she is a special case. A particularly tragic case, I'm afraid. She lost both of her parents during the war. After the fighting ended, she was found when she was only two years old in an apartment, alone and starving. She was alone in that apartment for Goddess only knows how long, too afraid to leave. We actually located her aunt who looked after her for almost four years until she passed away from a heart condition about four months ago. Because of her condition, we have not been able to find anyone who will even take her in on a temporary basis until we can find her suitable proxy parents. Since we are too small a city to have any temporary housing facility, she has been staying with me."

"That's horrible. The poor girl lost her parents and then she loses her aunt as well. It must have been incredibly traumatizing for her and she's so young. You said that she had a condition?"

"She doesn't speak. She can speak. There is nothing physically wrong with her. She just refuses to speak and no one can get her to open up so that she can be helped. She also refuses to allow her therapist to meld with her to help heal her mental wounds. We are looking for a suitable parent or parents who are equipped to deal with such a child but as you can imagine, there were many children who had emotional problems after the War."

"I can imagine it was quite a challenge to place them all. There are other republics who still haven't found permanent homes for all the orphans even now four years later."

"Very true." The Matriarch smiled. "I think she is a very intelligent and sweet girl underneath. If I weren't a matriarch, I might consider becoming her proxy parent myself but my own children are already matrons with children of their own. Not to mention that as the head of the Child Welfare Department, I'm supposed to maintain a certain degree of emotional detachment from the children for their own benefit as well as my own."

Liara smiled. "I imagine that can be difficult at times."

"It is. Now, back to our older orphans. I have some ideas on how to alleviate the problem but I need some help from the other republics to make them work."

Matriarch Lirus was called away on an emergency and since her Assistant was at lunch, Liara was apologetically asked to watch Jacey. Liara watched the child in the reception room, feeling a little awkward. The girl did not acknowledge her presence and just sat perfectly still looking at her datapad, completely opposite from her own daughters who were seemingly constantly in motion. Liara decided to try to engage the girl so she went to sit beside her.

"How are you, Jacey? My name is Liara."

The girl simply ignored her.

"Whatever is on that datapad must be very interesting. Are you playing a game?"

Again, the girl simply ignored her. She was so controlled. More like an adult with the weight of the galaxy on her shoulders than a child.

"May I see what you are playing?"

This time, the girl reluctantly tilted the datapad over to Liara. The girl looked briefly at Liara as she did and Liara felt her heart clench as she thought she saw a flash of sadness in her otherwise cold eyes. Liara looked down and saw a video playing of a small asari girl and an asari woman. Both were running in some grass, laughing. Liara guessed that this was the girl's now deceased aunt and she felt her heart clench again. Liara scrambled for something, anything to say to the girl. What do you say to a child who has lost everyone? Maybe someone will come along some day and love you as much as your aunt obviously did? Maybe someday you will be happy again as you obviously were in that video?

A few hours later, Liara called Shepard, who was presumably still at the city's police department. Shepard picked up after a few pings.

"Hi Liara. How goes it at Child Welfare?"

"Well, I think. The Matriarch has some very reasonable solutions in mind that I don't believe we will have any problem putting into action. I have something else important that I need to discuss with you."

"You're lucky. It sounds like you got the reasonable matriarch. This police chief has some very unreasonable ideas that she wants me to present to some of the other republics. They will never bite. I'm trying to convince her to accept other solutions but she's a stubborn one. It might take some time still. This is one of those times that I wish shooting the problem was still an option."

"I'm sorry that you are having difficulties but I need to speak with you. Are you somewhere private?"

"Negative, Liara. I'll tell you what. If you are done at Child Welfare, can you swing by City Planning? The matriarch in charge there is asking for my help and it is obvious that I'm going to be stuck here a while. I will then meet you back at Child Welfare in a couple hours? We can then discuss whatever you want in private before popping back to the Shuttle Port so we can get out of here."

"Okay. That sounds like a good plan. I will see you in a couple hours, Shepard. Good luck."

A couple hours later, Shepard made her way to the Child Welfare building where she ran into Matriarch Lirus, who smiled at her as she approached.

"Hello Matriarch, I take it your planning with Liara went well?"

"It did indeed. I was a little apprehensive speaking to her instead of you since you were the one appointed by the matriarchy but she is very skilled and very knowledgeable. Not to mention a joy to work with."

"That she is. And those are just a few of the reasons that I married her. Is she around here somewhere? I was supposed to meet her back here."

"No. She left a couple hours ago but I have not seen her return. The good news is that your references have already responded and they are all very complementary about you and Liara. They are also unimpeachable. I think I met Councilor Tevos a few decades back but I never expected her to call me back and so quickly. And then a member of the Supreme Unified Court of Thessia? And a highly-respected Chief Medical Officer for the Alliance? Needless to say, we usually have to rely on the good word of much less distinguished references when we place a child. You should be able to come back and take Jacey in just a couple days once I have time to acclimate her to the idea and the paperwork goes through. One of our caseworkers will have to come visit your home but that is just a formality."

The smile left Shepard's face and she stood staring at the Matriarch, blinking.

"I'm sorry, what?"

Just then Liara came literally running into the room, looking panicked. Shepard gave her the same confused face she had favored Lirus with a moment earlier. Liara was slightly out of breath as she spoke.

"Excuse me, Matriarch Lirus. Is there someplace private where I can speak to my bondmate for a moment?"

"Of course. Why don't you take my office? Jacey should be just about done with her afternoon classes if you would like to see her again before you leave. I will go get her."

Shepard felt her stomach drop as she remembered certain phrases that the matriarch said like 'when we place a child'. Shepard followed Liara into the office. Liara closed the door behind her and turned to face Shepard, a guilty look on her face that only made Shepard's stomach drop lower. Liara took a deep breath before she spoke.

"Promise me you won't get angry."

"You realize that when you say that to a person, chemicals flood the system actually gearing the person up to get mad. What did you do, Liara?"

Liara twisted her hands together. "I'm afraid I did something impudent. I agreed to provide a temporary home to a child until a permanent placement can be found."

Shepard exploded.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Liara! Didn't we both agree that we could best help the orphans of Thessia if we focused on the larger picture and did not take on an individual child?"

"Yes", Liara responded in a small voice.

"And didn't we agree that because we have two small children of our own, that we would hold off on having another so that we could give them the attention they deserve?"

"Yes."

"And how many times did you lecture me not to let my emotions get the better of me?"

"Several times."

"Then why the fuck did you do this?"

"Lower your voice, please. Listen, it's just temporary! If we don't take her they were going to be forced to send her to temporary housing in Paros. An orphanage, Shepard. You yourself told me how horrible they are and they just don't have anyone here who can take her."

"So, the poor kid gets bounced around from home to home until someone wants her!? And what about Benezia, Liara? You know how upset she was when Edi was born!"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I had a moment of weakness, Shepard. If you only saw her. She was so controlled but I could see the sadness behind her eyes. Do you remember when we first met again on Illium? That's how she looked. She looked just as emotionally dead as I felt inside back then. We need to help her, Shepard."

"I'm not so sure an orphanage wouldn't be better for her. At least that way, she wouldn't feel rejected when we bring her back. And how are we going to feel when we bring her back?"

"No, she understands. The Matriarch told me that they explain to all the children in their care how it works. All the experts agree that it is better to place the child in a temporary home while permanent parents can be found rather than an orphanage. She will understand."

"How old is she?"

"Six."

"She's not going to understand, Liara. I know fucking better than anyone that the only thing that you understand at that age when they bring you back is that another person doesn't want you."

Shepard began pacing the small office, trying to get control of her anger. Another thing occurred to her and she turned on Liara.

"It's four years after the War and they still haven't placed her? What's wrong with her? If she's dangerous, I'm not letting her into our home, near our kids!"

"It's not like that, Shepard. She was placed with her aunt soon after the War ended but her aunt passed away prematurely about four months ago. The Matriarch says that she has not shown any violent tendencies whatsoever." Liara hesitated. "But, of course, she did lose her parents during the War and then her aunt so she does have emotional issues. She…doesn't talk."

"She doesn't talk?! Like, at all?! Jesus fucking Christ, Liara!"

"She can talk. There is nothing physically wrong with her. She just doesn't talk."

Shepard started pacing again, muttering to herself.

"I just cannot believe that you would make a decision like this without talking to me first!"

"I know, Shepard. I screwed up. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I just felt so bad for her. I will tell the Matriarch that we changed our mind when she gets back."

Shepard just shook her head and sighed.

"You already said that we would. By now, she has probably already told…what was her name again?"

"Jacey. Her name is Jacey."

"It's too late now, Liara. You've already fucked this up and we just have to deal with it. God, how are we going to tell Bene? Edi is too young to care but Bene? She is not going to like another kid coming in and taking attention away from her."

"We have a couple days to break the news to her. I'm sorry, Shepard."

"So you've said, Liara."

Shepard opened the door to find the receptionist studiously looking down at her computer screen, busily typing on the holographic keyboard. It was obvious that she heard the yelling as she was desperately trying to appear busy and she kept her head down to avoid making eye contact with the couple. Shepard addressed her.

"When will the Matriarch be back with Jacey?"

"She is in the elevator now, Admiral."

Shortly thereafter, Lirus came in holding the hand of Jacey. She smiled and brought Jacey over to Shepard and Liara.

"I just explained to Jacey that you will be her foster parents until her permanent parents can be found. Jacey, you've already met Liara. This is Katherine."

Shepard knelt down in front on the child and smiled.

"You can call me Shepard. Though I understand you don't like to talk much. We will be taking you home in a couple days. We have two small daughters. One of them is only a couple years younger than you and you should have a good time playing together. Is that okay with you?"

The girl just looked at her impassively. The Matriarch gave Jacey's hand a little squeeze.

"We talked about this Jacey. It is impolite not to respond when someone speaks to you."

At that, the girl just looked at Shepard and shrugged. The impassive look in her eye is what scared Shepard the most. Any emotion would have been better than the dead look in the girl's eyes. Shepard smiled again but internally, she wondered what the hell they had just gotten themselves into or what the hell Liara had just gotten them into, to be more precise.


	71. Chapter 71

The day had arrived when the T'Soni-Shepard family was due to pick up Jacey from Chroma. When they told Benezia about the strange child that was about to invade their home, she was upset at first but she gradually warmed to the idea when it became clear that she would have someone to play with who wasn't still a baby and therefore, boring, like her sister Edi was. Benezia expressed the opinion that they would get along fine as long as this new person knew that she was 'the boss'. Both Shepard and Liara told their willful daughter that no one was the boss and she was to be nice to their new guest. To which Benezia asked if no one was the boss, why her father sometimes said that she was 'the boss' to her mother.

When they arrived at Notari, Matriarch Lirus was waiting with Jacey at the shuttle pad, with unshed tears pooling in her eyes. Lirus promised Jacey that her new foster parents would bring her back to visit as Jacey only looked on impassively. Liara and Shepard introduced Benezia and Edi to Jacey and were treated to more impassive looks. Benezia started talking non-stop with Jacey, talking more than enough for both of them. The five of them then went to a theme park near the capital city of Paros. Jacey remained mostly stoic but after getting off a particularly fun kiddie ride, Liara swore that she saw Jacey crack a smile. Shepard swore that she heard actual giggling from Jacey during the ride but since it was dark and they were surrounded by kids, she could not be sure.

Despite the fact that Jacey remained stand-offish and she, of course, did not say a word, both adults were pleased that she had at least participated and there did not seem to be any conflict between the kids. There was an emotional breakdown in the afternoon, however, when a very over-tired Bene started screaming and throwing herself on the ground dramatically when she learned she couldn't go on a 'big-kid' ride. It was then that the adults decided that Blasto and the other animated characters would just have to wait until next time as it was time to depart for home.

When they finally returned to Thessia, both T'Soni girls were fast asleep but Jacey remained awake, yawning frequently. Both women realized that the poor thing was still too apprehensive to let her guard down enough to sleep, despite her placid façade. When they arrived at the apartment, Shepard put her two daughters to bed while Liara took Jacey on a quick tour of the place before taking Jacey to her room. Liara tried to change Jacey into her bed clothes but the girl seemed to want to do it herself so Liara left her alone momentarily before returning again.

When Liara returned, Jacey was already in the bed with the covers up, lying as stiff as a board. Liara came and sat down at the side of her bed.

"I know that this is all new to you and you must be afraid but you are safe here. You know where the bathroom is. Remember that Shepard and I are just down the hall if you need anything or you get scared. You can come get us at any time. Do you understand?"

Jacey continued to look at her impassively.

"Do you want me to stay a while? Or maybe read you a story?"

No response.

"Remember what Lirus told you, Jacey. I need you to respond when I ask you a question, please."

Jacey shook her head. Liara smiled and patted the girl's arm.

"Thank you for responding. I will leave the nightlight on. If you need anything, anything at all, please come get me or Shepard."

The girl just nodded before Liara got up, turned off the big light and closed the door most of the way. A couple hours later, Shepard peeked in and panicked when she saw the bed in Jacey's room empty until she looked in Benezia's room and found both girls curled up on the bed together. At least they seemed to be getting along even if it seemed that Jacey was more than a little afraid at the new surroundings. Shepard didn't understand how Benezia could allow someone who she had just met sleep in her bed with her but both girls looked to be peacefully asleep. Shepard peeked a head into the nursery and then returned to the master bedroom when she was satisfied that Edi was also peacefully sleeping in her crib. Shepard got in the bed next to Liara.

"You are never going to believe this. Bene and Jacey are both fast asleep in Bene's bed."

"It makes a certain sense. I could tell that Jacey was afraid but she wasn't about to let me know. She and Benezia are pretty close in age and it is probably easier for Jacey to let Benezia see her vulnerable like that. And we asari are a communal species. It is not uncommon for siblings to sleep in the same bed until around the age of twenty or so."

"Seriously?! Human kids want their own room and definitely their own bed as soon as possible. It makes them feel grown-up. I guess it makes a certain amount of sense from an evolutionary stand point, safety in numbers and all. Should we maybe ask them if they want to stay in the same room? I just assumed that Jacey would want her own room."

"I don't see any harm in asking them. We can leave it up to them."

* * *

The next morning, Shepard looked in Benezia's room and Jacey was already gone while Bene was still fast asleep. Shepard peeked in Jacey's room and found her sitting in a chair already dressed with the bed made. She was looking at her datapad. Shepard knocked on her door before entering.

"Good morning, Jacey. Did you sleep okay?"

The girl just continued looking down at her datapad.

"I'm heading downstairs to make us some breakfast. Do you want to come with me?"

This time, the girl looked up briefly and shook her head.

"Okay, well, I'll be downstairs in the kitchen if you need me. I'll let you know when breakfast is ready."

After Shepard had finished making her patented pancake batter, put the coffee and tea on and poured juice for the kids, she bounded back up the stairs to get everyone up and downstairs. Liara was in Edi's room, changing and dressing her while Benezia was found still sleeping soundly. Shepard sat down on the bed and shook her daughter gently.

"Wake up, Peanut."

Benezia stirred but didn't seem inclined to open her eyes and get out of bed.

"Still tired, Daddy."

Shepard leaned in closer, gave her daughter a kiss on her crest and then whispered to her.

"I made pancakes…"

A moment later, Benezia finally comprehended the words and she sat straight up in bed, throwing her covers off. She was about to bolt from the bed when Shepard stopped her.

"Before we go eat, and they are blueberry pancakes, by the way, let me ask you a question. Jacey slept in here last night?"

"Yes Daddy."

"Why? Was she afraid?"

"Yes", Benezia shrugged before continuing matter-of-factly, "there were monsters in her closet."

"But you know that there is no such thing as monsters and they most definitely don't hang out in closets."

"She don't know that. She afraid. I pwotected her."

"I see. Did you mind her sleeping in here?"

"No."

"Do you want to sleep in the same room? If you both want, we could put you both in here."

"No! This my woom! I'm big girl!"

"Okay, okay. I just wanted you to know that you could if you wanted. You don't have to. Now, are you ready for some pancakes? Let's so get Jacey. I bet she's never had blueberry pancakes before."

At that, Benezia bounded out of the bed, ran to Jacey's room and took her by the hand, leading her downstairs to the kitchen table. Liara was already at the table with her cup of tea and Edi was in her high chair. Shepard detoured to the grill and started making the pancakes.

"Good morning Benezia. Good morning Jacey. Did you both sleep well?" Liara smiled as both girls entered the room.

"Yup" Benezia replied before addressing Jacey, taking charge of breakfast. "You can sit in my chair with the boosta if you want. We have bluebewry pancakes. They good. Bluebewries are fruit from Earth. That's where my Daddy come from. Maybe my Daddy make bacon too. Bacon is yummy. And then we can play. There no school today so we can have fun. Do you go to school? I only go in the morning but not today. Today we can play."

Liara had to bite her tongue to keep from chuckling. Apparently, Benezia had decided that she would play the good hostess to their guest and would make up for Jacey's lack of speech by talking non-stop. She watched as Jacey took a seat. Benezia noticed her sitting in a chair without the booster seat in it and decided that she didn't need one either. Instead of taking her usual chair with the booster, she sat next to Jacey, barely tall enough to put her hands on top of the table in front of her. The competition begins, Liara thought. It was hard to be large and in charge when one was barely tall enough to see over the kitchen table.

* * *

Shepard was watching the girls play in the living room. Edi, as usual, was mostly doing her own thing. She was too young to really understand what the older girls were doing and mostly just pretended to participate, much to her older sister's annoyance as she picked up game pieces and moved them around according to a logic that only she could understand. Benezia, as usual, was dictating the action. She decided what they would play, when and how. It occurred to Shepard, not for the first time, that her oldest daughter was a little bossy. Jacey, on the other hand, simply followed along.

In the week that Jacey had been with them, Jacey had been the perfect child. They had her enrolled in her half-day school and she was ready to go, without complaint, each morning. In fact, her teacher told them that she did very well with her school assignments with the exception of those that required vocal participation. When Shepard or Liara asked her to do something, she did it, wordlessly of course, without complaint or hesitation. While Benezia would sometimes fight them, as children her age sometimes do, testing the boundaries and their parent's resolve, Jacey was completely obedient. Both Shepard and Liara found it a little unnerving. It was unnatural and abnormal for any six year old asari to be that good, all the time.

On the positive side, Jacey seemed to be more relaxed. She was not so stiff and she did not appear to be as afraid as she had been when she first came to live with them. Some of the time, she almost seemed happy. Shepard would catch the occasional smile on her face before the mask descended once again and the apathetic look returned. Shepard watched as they played a simple child's holographic board game.

"Okay Jacey, this what we do. I have the blue pieces and you have red."

Jacey had already taken the blue pieces but Benezia stopped her and brought them over to her and then pushed the red towards Jacey.

"No Jacey! I have blue and you have red."

For a brief moment, Shepard thought she saw a look of irritation on Jacey's face before she quietly continued with the game, letting Benezia have anything she wanted as usual. Shepard walked into the kitchen to talk to Liara who was chopping vegetables for dinner. Shepard spoke in a low voice so that they would not be overheard.

"So, I think Jacey is doing okay but I think she is getting a little tired of Benezia telling her what to do. I think Benezia might be a little bossy."

"And I have no idea where she might have received that trait from", Liara said with a look and a small smile at Shepard before she continued cutting vegetables.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Benezia likes to be in charge like another person I know well. She is also too fearless for her own good and confident almost to the point of being over-confident. Even at four years old, she is showing some troubling inherited traits."

"Look Lady, regardless of what traits she may have and from whom, it's still your fault. You were the cook there."

"As you know, she was conceived by accident and mapping someone's genetic code is not like a shopping kiosk. You don't just consciously choose exactly what you want and ten months later, it is delivered to your door. On a positive note, I think Benezia is incredibly sweet and she has a good heart, also like someone I know well."

"As long as you don't start calling her Shepard Junior like her Aunt Tali does."

Liara got a thoughtful look in her eye as she tilted her head and stopped cutting vegetables.

"I wonder if Benezia is the way she is because when she was conceived, it was right before the final push of the War. I wanted you to be as confident as possible. I wanted you to be fearless and completely in control and in charge. Traits that are very positive for a military leader during a time of war but that might be less than desirable in normal times. Maybe this was somehow subconsciously transferred to Benezia when she was conceived. I shall have to read the latest scientific literature about the evidence for inherited traits from fathers in asari reproduction."

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Can we just stop talking about what 'less than desirable traits' that Benezia might have inherited from her father and focus on the situation at hand?"

"She said, taking control of the conversation", Liara responded with another smile and a wink. When Shepard started to look annoyed, she continued. "Okay, so what do you think that we should do about it?"

"Maybe we should talk to Benezia? Tell her how she has to let Jacey do what she wants some of the time. That they should sometimes play what Jacey wants instead of her dictating everything."

"Yes, but we should be delicate about it. We don't want to discourage Benezia from interacting with Jacey. We also don't want her to be resentful of Jacey. We want them to be friends."

"Agreed. I'll have a talk with Benezia and maybe you can talk to Jacey. Make sure that she knows that she doesn't have to do what Benezia tells her to. That she can play what she wants. Maybe we can talk to them separately after dinner."

"She said, taking control of the situation and issuing orders", Liara said, smirking.

"Would you cut that out?!"

"She demanded in a commanding voice." Liara only chuckled at the increasingly annoyed look on Shepard's face. "Alright, alright. Dinner will be in fifteen. Perhaps you could make sure that everyone is ready?"

"She said every bit as bossily as her bondmate. The only difference is her poor bondmate is routinely picked on when she really is just a nice person trying to do the right thing and the whole thing is just completely unfair." Shepard muttered to herself as she headed out to the living room to gather the troops and make sure said troops were ready for dinner. Liara only chuckled again in response.

* * *

Shepard had just gotten Edi to sleep and it was now time for 'snuggle time'. Liara and Shepard took turns handling 'snuggle time' and it was instituted as part of their daily routine to both reassure Bene that they still loved her to pieces despite the arrival of Edi and to wind-down their sometimes slightly hyper-active child.

Shepard flipped through the available vids to find something suitable. Shepard found a cartoon that she recognized as one that they had watched many times before. The insipid music alone was enough to drive Shepard insane but her daughter loved it. At first, Shepard had been concerned when her daughter sat enraptured in front of a vid that she had watched over and over before, but according to the childhood development experts, it was completely normal for young children to enjoy watching favorite vids repeatedly. When Jacey came and sat with the same look of enraptured attention to a vid that they had watched just the day before, Shepard had been relieved that it wasn't just her daughter who seemingly had no short term memory.

Since Jacey had joined them weeks ago, they didn't want her to feel left out, so Liara or Shepard invited her to join them every night. Shepard would put the vid on, mentally preparing herself to be bored out of mind for the next hour or so, sit back in the reclining chair and Benezia would crawl up and snuggle against her side, with her father's arm holding her close. Every night, Shepard asked Jacey if she would like to participate and she would shake her head and climb into her own chair to watch the vid instead.

Shepard sat back in the large, cushy reclining chair and held her arm out to Benezia who climbed up, nestled up against her side, stuck her thumb in her mouth (a habit her mother was desperately trying to break her of) and then stared like a zombie at the vid screen. Shepard looked over to Jacey who was already moving towards her own chair.

"Jacey, would you like to have snuggle time with us?"

Predictably, Jacey shook her head and settled back into her own chair. Unpredictably, Benezia suddenly snapped out of her vid-induced trance momentarily, took her thumb out of her mouth, clambered out of the chair, went over to Jacey and tugged on her hand.

"Come on, Jay. It's okay. It's fun."

Benezia then ran back to Shepard pulling Jacey behind her. Shepard helped lift her back into the chair and Benezia snuggled back into Shepard's side. Shepard smiled and held out her other arm to Jacey. She reluctantly climbed into the chair as Shepard put an arm around her. The normally stoic Jacey then looked up at Shepard with the most brilliant smile that Shepard had ever seen as Shepard gave her a squeeze. It was gone in an instant but she had definitely seen it. As both the girls in her arms fell into their vid-induced stupor, Shepard couldn't help but think ahead to the day that Jacey would be leaving them. That day was coming and it was only going to be more heartbreaking for all of them the longer Jacey was here.


	72. Chapter 72

Shepard was making lunch for the girls when Jacey and Bene came home from school, after being dropped off by a rushed Liara who had to return to work immediately. Edi was still down for her nap. Shepard entered the living room and greeted the girls, with a kiss for both since Jacey seemed less adverse to expressions of affection now after a few months with them. She didn't return it in any obvious way but at least she allowed herself to be hugged and kissed which Shepard could only see as an improvement.

"Why don't you two girls play in here while I go finish with lunch? And if you both want, we can go take a swim in the pool after lunch."

"Yes, Daddy, yes!", Benezia exclaimed while she started hopping around the living room. She always seemed to be especially energetic after returning from pre-school, her patience worn a little thin by having to sit and concentrate on her lessons for a few hours. Jacey just nodded and pulled out one of the holographic board games stored in a toy chest tucked in the corner of the room. Since they played so often in the room, the chest was a compromise to Bene who didn't want to have to 'go all the way up' to the play room to get favorite toys though her parents insisted that she still put her toys back in the chest when finished with them.

"No, Jacey! I don't want to play that game! I want to play Jumpin' Fish!" Shepard heard Benezia say, followed soon by "No Jacey, I am the blue fish, you pick another color!"

Shepard continued grilling their sandwiches when she heard another exclamation from Benezia.

"No Jacey! That's not how you play! You not do it right!"

Shepard sighed. Her daughter apparently was in fine form today. Shepard peeked her head into the living room.

"Remember what we talked about, Peanut. Lunch is almost ready. Why don't you two go wash your hands and go sit at the table? It will be out in a minute."

Shepard brought out the cups, filled them with juice and then placed them on the table next to the plates while she hoped both girls were washing their hands. She went back in the kitchen and continued cutting some fruit when she heard the girls loudly return. Or rather she heard Benezia loudly return and she imagined Jacey followed.

"Jacey, why don't you sit over here today with me?"

"That's my juice!"

"Jay! That's my plate! That my favorite. You have this one."

Shepard was just about to bring in the plate of grilled cheese sandwiches and the plate of fruit when she heard a scream followed by the sound of something shattering. Finally, Shepard heard the cry of "No, no, no, no!" That didn't sound like Benezia. Was that Jacey? Did she actually speak? Shepard put the plates back down and ran out to the table. Jacey was standing, looking wild-eyed, a broken plate on the floor next to the wall. When Jacey saw Shepard she started yelling "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" over and over again, her arms wrapped around herself. Benezia was sitting at the table, frozen, her mouth open in shock. Shepard finally spoke.

"What happened? Jacey, did you throw that plate?"

"…I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

"Are you hurt? Jacey, it's alright."

"…I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." chanted over and over again was the only response.

Shepard swallowed to get her voice calm and under control. She turned to Benezia.

"Benezia, I need to talk to Jacey. Please go up to your room."

For once, Benezia obeyed without pause and without complaint as she quickly left the room. Shepard then knelt down next to Jacey and gently grabbed her arm.

"Jacey. Look at me. It's okay. Please stop yelling."

"…I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

"Jacey, listen to me. It's okay. It's just a plate. Please stop saying you are sorry."

"…I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

Jacey seemed stuck, her eyes wild and unfocused. Shepard had seen similar reactions to extreme stress in combat situations, an extreme symptom of combat stress disorder. In the past, a slap to the face sometimes helped. Other times, the soldiers had to be sedated and removed from combat. But there was no combat here and there was no way that Shepard would ever think about laying an angry hand on this poor child. Shepard grabbed both Jacey's arms and turned her until she was fulling facing her. Shepard looked directly into her eyes.

"Listen to me, Jacey. It's okay. You are safe. It's okay."

"…I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

Shepard stood, desperate and at a loss about how to calm the child, looked around and then did the first thing that came to mind. She pulled Jacey safely behind her. She then picked up one of the remaining plates on the table and threw it against the wall. It shattered, pieces falling near the pieces from the other plate. The sudden, unexpected action and noise seemed to have the desired effect as Jacey stopped chanting, her mouth open in surprise, her eyes finally starting to focus on Shepard. Shepard picked up the final plate and threw it as well just for good measure. Shepard then kneeled in front of Jacey again and pulled her in tight, whispering words of comfort as the child started sobbing. For the first time, instead of simply tolerating the hug, Jacey returned it, holding on to Shepard as tightly as her small arms would allow.

Shepard lifted Jacey and sat down with her in her lap, letting her cry as long as she wanted. Shepard knew that Edi would be up from her nap at any moment. She also knew that Bene was still up in her room, no doubt confused and upset about what happened. Having to look after three young children was a challenge in normal times and today was anything but. Shepard reached around Jacey and typed out a message to Liara: 'Are you busy? Not an emergency but Jacey VERY upset. Could use the backup.'

When Shepard heard Jacey stop crying and felt her body hiccup, she gently pulled her back and looked into her eyes. Jacey avoided eye contact until Shepard moved her own head to where she had no choice.

"Jacey, do you want to tell me what happened?"

The girl remained silent and averted her eyes again.

"Come on, Jellybean, I heard you talk. You can't go all silent again now. Tell me what happened, please."

Shepard looked at the girl, the silence growing longer until finally, Jacey spoke.

"I got mad. Benezia kept telling me what to do and I got mad." The girl averted her eyes and continued in a lower voice. "I threw the plate. I just got too mad."

"I see. It's okay Jacey. We all do things that we aren't supposed to do sometimes. Do you remember what happened afterward? You got very upset. Do you know why you got so upset?"

Jacey just shook her head.

"If you can tell me why you got so upset, maybe you would feel better."

Jacey shook her head again. It was obvious that she was not ready to share whatever was really bothering her. But she was talking! Shepard had to think that was progress. I have to think like a parent here. What do I say?

"I was an orphan too, Jacey."

Jacey looked up at her again, surprised.

"I lost my mom and dad when I was very young and then I lost my foster parents too. I remember being very mad about it. Then I would sometimes lose my temper and do things that I wasn't supposed to. I was very mad but really I was very sad. I was alone and I was scared. I just want you to know that you are not alone, Jacey." Don't promise too much, Shepard admonished herself. Never promise anything that you can't deliver. "Liara and I and Matriarch Lirus, we all care about you and we will make sure that you are taken care of. You don't need to be afraid because we will make sure that you are okay, no matter what happens. When proxy parents are found for you, we will make sure that they are really nice and we will make sure that they take good care of you. Do you understand?"

Jacey nodded.

"And I want you to know that you can tell us anything. Sometimes if you are upset about something, it makes you feel better if you talk about it to someone. Liara and I are here to listen anytime about anything. Do you understand that?"

Jacey nodded again. Better make some things clear. I can't just let this go.

"Throwing things is not okay, Jacey. You could have been hurt or you could have hurt Benezia."

"I wasn't trying to hurt her! I promise!"

The plate was actually thrown in the opposite direction from where Bene had been so that was clear.

"I know that Jacey. I know that you just got frustrated and you wanted her to stop bothering you but you weren't trying to hurt her. But you could have hurt her or hurt yourself. You need to *say* something when she is bothering you. If you don't want to do something, you have to *say* that you don't want to do it. You can't just wait until you get so mad that you want to throw something."

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are. When we do something wrong, we have to make things right. Those were Liara's dishes. When she gets home, I want you to tell her what happened and then you will have to use your allowance to buy her a new one. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Do you promise not to throw anything again? Do you promise to tell us know when you are upset so that we can work things out?"

"I promise."

Shepard gave her another squeeze.

"Good, I've got to go get your sis…, I mean, Benezia to make sure she is okay. I also need to go get Edi up from her nap. Is that okay? Will you be alright?"

Jacey nodded.

"I'll put a vid on. Just stay here until I get back, Jellybean."

Jacey looked at Shepard curiously.

"What is jellybean?"

Shepard smiled at Jacey, stood up and put her back down on the chair.

"Jellybean is your nickname if that's alright. You know how I call Bene Peanut and Edi Sprout? I've decided that you are Jellybean. Jellybeans are human candies that are small and sweet, just like you. I will get you some next time I go to the Earth store."

A small smile on Jacey's face told Shepard that she liked the nickname. Just then Liara came bursting through the door. It takes around ten minutes to get to their apartment from the Guild. Liara made it in eight. Shepard caught her eye as she moved to go up the stairs and motioned with her head towards Jacey.

"Hi Liara. Jacey has something that she wants to say to you."

Liara looked surprised. "Jacey has something that she wants to *say* to me?!"

"Yup. I gotta go get the girls. I'll be upstairs."

* * *

Shepard first looked into Edi's nursery and listened. Thankfully, her daughter was awake but quietly talking to herself and the stuffed hanar in her crib instead of demanding to be let out right away. That would leave Shepard time to go see to Benezia. When Shepard pushed open Benezia's door, she found her daughter lying on her bed, crying silently. Shepard went to her and gathered her in her arms.

"It's okay, sweetheart. Everything is okay."

"Jacey get mad at me. Jacey hate me."

"That's not true, Peanut. She got mad at you but I think she likes you very much." Shepard sat down and pulled Benezia into her lap sideways so that she could look in her eyes. "Remember how I told you that Jacey lost her mommy and daddy and her aunty, too? I think that makes her very sad and that's why she doesn't talk much. I think it also makes her mad too."

"So she not mad at me?"

"I think she was mad at you but you are not the main thing she is mad at. You were a little bossy, Bene. We talked about how no one likes to be told what to do all the time. You were telling her what to play, when to play it, how to play it. It was frustrating for her."

"But she never said it", Benezia responded defensively.

"I know. She needs to learn to tell people what she wants, one way or another." Shepard tapped her nose with a finger. "And you need to learn to let others decide what they want when you play with them. But it's okay. Everything is okay."

Shepard hugged her daughter closer.

"Is Jacey still sad?"

"I think she is." How do I explain this to a four year old so she will understand but not be upset? "I think anyone would be sad if they lost their mommy and daddy and aunty."

"Her mommy and daddy and aunty died? That mean they went away forever?"

"That's right, Peanut. And I think Jacey misses them even when she acts like she is fine and she doesn't care about anything. I think she also gets scared because she doesn't know what is going to happen to her."

* * *

Liara was sitting in a chair with Jacey standing in front of her, her head down, hands twisting together. Liara looked at her patiently, silently encouraging her to begin. Jacey slowly began to speak.

"I threw a plate. I threw your plate and it broke. I'm sorry. I will buy you a new one."

"I see. And why did you throw the plates?"

"Benezia keep telling me what to do and I got mad. I'm sorry."

"I see. And did you tell Benezia that you didn't want to do what she was telling you to do? Did you tell her to stop telling you what do to?"

Jacey only shook her head.

"But now you are going to tell Benezia when you don't want to do something? You will tell us if something is making you angry?"

Jacey nodded her head. Liara smiled at the girl and pulled her in for a hug.

"The good news is that those plates were pretty cheap. About one week's allowance should buy three new ones."

"No. Only one."

"Only one? Jacey, there are obviously three broken plates on the floor. If you throw three plates and break three plates, you must replace three plates."

"I only broke one. Shepard threw two of them."

Just then, Shepard returned with Edi on her hip and Benezia beside her. Liara lifted her brow markings and looked at Shepard over Jacey's shoulder.

"Shepard broke two of the plates?"

Jacey nodded while Shepard just shrugged at Liara with a look that she hoped said that she would explain later.

"I see. Very well. You will replace one of the plates out of your allowance and Shepard will replace two out of hers."

Shepard came over and gave Edi to Liara while Benezia came over to Jacey.

"I want you girls to all stay here while I clean up the plates. And then we will have to see what's available for lunch. Those sandwiches that I made are probably like bricks by now."

Liara held Edi and watched as Benezia approached Jacey. She put her arms around Jacey.

"I sorry if I bossy. And don't be sad. And don't be scared. My Mommy and Daddy will take care of you."

"I'm sorry I got mad. I'm sorry if I scared you." Jacey responded.

"I'm okay. Are you okay?"

Jacey smiled and nodded to Benezia.

"Do you want to go play? We can play whatever you want."

Jacey smiled again and both girls ran over to the toy chest.

* * *

Jacey was not okay and after her outburst, things only seemed to intensify for Jacey. Liara woke up to the sound of Jacey crying out. It was the third time that week despite the fact that both Jacey and Benezia agreed to be tucked in together in the same bed that night. Whatever dam broke inside of Jacey, it could not be stopped by the presence of another person alone. Liara got up and ran into Benezia's room. She scooped up Jacey to take her back to her own room.

"Mommy? Jacey had nightmare again?" Benezia's groggy voice stopped her at the door.

"Yes, sweetheart. Go back to sleep. I'll take care of Jacey. Go see your daddy if you are scared too."

Liara felt Jacey crying against her chest. After the plate-throwing incident, they spoke to both Matriarch Lirus and Jacey's new therapist in Armali. Both agreed that Jacey would only get better if she remembered what happened with her aunt, talked about it and worked through her emotions. Jacey was speaking now but she still refused to talk to anyone about her aunt, Shepard and Liara included. Something had to be done. Liara sat down on the bed with Jacey in her arms, holding her tight and rocking her gently.

"Did you have another nightmare?"

Liara saw Jacey nodding her head but she didn't speak.

"Can you please tell me what the nightmare was about?"

Liara felt Jacey stiffen in her arms before she responded.

"I don't remember."

Liara pulled Jacey away from her so she could look in her face as she was speaking to her.

"Sweetheart, I think we need to talk about your nightmares and if you don't remember, then I need to help you remember. You know what the meld is?"

Jacey nodded.

"I want to meld with you. I want to help you remember your aunt and what happened to you. Will you let me do that, Jacey?"

Jacey did not respond, her face twisted with fear.

"I won't force you to do anything, Jacey but I think you need to let me do this. I care about you and I don't want to see you hurting anymore. Will you please let me help you, sweetheart?"

Finally, Jacey let out a stuttered breath and nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Okay. Now please relax your body and mind as much as possible. Do not be afraid, Jacey. I will be right here with you."

Liara started out a very shallow meld, gently entering Jacey's mind and letting her get used to Liara's presence. She sent calm, reassuring thoughts to Jacey and she felt the young girl slowly relax. Liara gradually increased the depth and breadth of the meld until she started to feel Jacey's feelings: fear, confusion, insecurity but also affection for Liara. Liara smiled and was careful to only let her positive feelings through to Jacey. If this was going to work without further traumatizing Jacey, she must be vigilant to not let any of her own fears be felt by her.

'I like you a lot too, Jacey. Everything will be okay. Now please let me see what you remember about your nightmare.'

_At first, Liara felt only emotions as she became Jacey in the girl's memory. She was annoyed and bored. Why wouldn't her aunt let her go and play outside in the park like they used to do? Her aunt always seemed to be sick and they never did anything fun anymore. Her aunt was lying down on the couch as usual. She went to stand in front of her aunt. _

'_I want to go outside and play!'_

'_I'm sorry, Jace. Aunty just doesn't feel well enough today. Maybe tomorrow. Why don't you lay down with me and we will watch a vid?'_

_She stomped her feet. 'No! No! No! I'm tired of being in here! I want to go play outside!' _

'_Lower your voice, young lady. I said no. You can go to your room if you will not behave.' _

_Her anger and frustration increased. Her fists balled up on their own. _

_'No! I'm going to the park!' _

_She turned away from her aunt and stomped towards the door determinedly. She heard her aunt get up behind her so she started running towards the door, a smile on her face as she did so. She won't catch me! This was almost getting fun now! She heard her aunt behind her. _

_'Jacey T'lodo! You get back here this minute! You are going to be in such...oh!' _

_It sounded like her aunt cried out in pain. But no, she was trying to trick her because she was losing the race. Jacey let out a little laugh. She was almost at the door. Jacey heard another gasp of pain from her aunt and then a loud thumping sound. Maybe Aunty was really hurt? She stopped when she got to the door. She turned around and moved back towards the living room. She saw her aunt lying on the floor. Her heart started thumping in her chest and her mind flooded with fear as she moved closer. Her aunt wasn't moving. Her eyes were closed. She knelt down next to her aunt. _

_'Aunty?' _

_There was still no response from her aunt. Her eyes remained closed. Terror. _

_'Aunty! Please wake up! Aunty! I'm sorry, please wake up, I'm sorry!' _

_Still no response from her aunt. What did she tell me to do if there was an emergency?! She activated her aunt's omnitool and hit the red call button. The one only for emergencies. She sat down next to her aunt and held her hand. She felt tears roll down her face. _

_'Aunty, please wake up. I'm so sorry. Please don't go.' _

Liara felt Jacey's overwhelming guilt as the memory ended. Jacey was sobbing now, her small body shuddering against Liara's. Liara held her tighter and began rocking her.

'Oh, you poor baby. It wasn't your fault, Jacey. I read the reports and your Aunt was very ill. She loved you so much and she tried so hard to get better so that she could take care of you. She wanted so much to take care of you but she just wasn't strong enough. She had her heart replaced a couple times but her body kept rejected them. It wasn't your fault, sweetheart.'

'But I was bad. She died because I was bad! If I just lay down with her and watched vids, she would be alive.'

'That's not true, Jacey. She was very weak. It was only a matter of time. It was not your fault!'

_Suddenly, Liara felt herself drawn back into another memory. She was Jacey again but this time, her thoughts were even more confused, less focused. Her view of the world was even lower to the ground. Liara felt another wave of fear. This one even more intense, more primal. _

_The asari in front of her was bending over her, grabbing her arms hard and looking her in the eyes. Her eyes were wide and full of terror. There were strange noises coming from the hall outside their front hall. The woman spoke, her voice panicked. _

_'Jacey! Listen to me! Go hide. Go now! Go hide and don't come out here again until I come get you! Go! Now!' _

Suddenly, Liara felt Jacey's walls slam shut and she was almost thrown out of the meld. By a six year old? It was almost impossible for a child so young to have barriers that strong. Liara strengthened the meld again. Before she could 'say' anything to Jacey, she heard her thought.

'I don't remember that. I can't show you that.'

'You don't remember what, Jacey? Who was that woman? Was that your mother? Do you remember your mother?'

'No! No! I don't remember!'

Liara stroked the young girl's crest and sent another wave of calm to her through the meld. She was so frightened. She already felt so guilty about her aunt. Should Liara even push this? Maybe it was best if some memories stayed buried? She herself hated to remember certain memories-her mother's death, Shepard's death on the first Normandy- and she tried her best to forget them. But she did remember them. And that allowed her to work through them. Buried memories became like old closed but unhealed wounds. They were unseen but they were still there, festering, threatening to infect and kill the spirit just as a physical wound can kill the body. Liara strengthened her own barriers. She must only allow Jacey to see and feel from Liara only what she wanted her to.

'I'm not going to make you do what you don't want to, sweetheart, but I think there is a reason why you started showing me that memory. I think there is a part of you who wants me to see it.'

'No! I don't remember. I don't remember anything.'

'Please. Will you try? For me?'

Liara felt herself thrown back into the memory.

_Mommy let her go and turned away from her, facing the door, her fists glowing blue. _

'_Go! Now!'_

_She ran down the hall but when she rounded the corner, instead of hiding, she poked her head around the corner just as the front door opened. Horrible creatures streamed through the door, making horrible sounds. Monsters! The monsters are here! She felt the wetness pour down her legs. She peed herself. She was a big girl and she shouldn't have accidents like that. Her legs felt rubbery but she managed to run into her closet and jump into her toy box. The lid closed over her and she hugged one of her stuffed animals tight. _

'Goddess! She was there! Jacey was there when her mother was killed by the reapers.' Liara felt her own mind fill with terror. She strengthened her barriers. She couldn't' let Jacey feel her own fear and helplessness.

_She woke up confused in the dark, curled up in a small space. Then she remembered. Mommy! Where's Mommy? How come Mommy hadn't come for her yet? She listened. Her clothes were still damp. She felt thirsty. She felt very thirsty. The monsters! What if the monsters are still there? She opened the lid to the toy box and listened. There was still no sound but the sound of alarms outside the apartment. Slowly, she got out of the box and walked to the hall. She could see the front door. There was a lump in front of it. Where's Mommy? _

_As she got closer, she saw the violet. There was violet everywhere. Blood! The lump was her Mommy. And her blood was everywhere. She ran over to her and fell on top of her. She shook her but her mommy felt stiff. Her eyes were open but they looked at nothing. She started whimpering. The monsters! What if the monsters are still here? She ran back into her room, back into her closet and jumped back into her toy box. _

As the memory faded, Liara became aware that Jacey was moaning. She felt her own tears streaming down her face. She couldn't do anything to help Jacey right now. There was nothing that she could say to take away that fear or to take away that pain. So she did the only thing she could. She held Jacey as tightly as she could and rocked her as Jacey sobbed into her chest.

'I'm so sorry, Jacey. I'm so sorry that you lost your mother. But you don't have to be afraid anymore. The reapers are gone. The monsters are gone for good and I will make sure that nothing can hurt you again. I will be here whenever you need me, for as long as you need me.'

Liara gently withdrew the meld and held Jacey until the exhausted child fell asleep. She tucked her into the bed and lay down next to her.

* * *

The next morning, Liara woke up to find Shepard looking down on her with a questioning look on her face. Jacey was still sleeping soundly beside her. Liara gave Shepard a heartbroken look remembering the meld from the night before.

"Everything okay?", Shepard whispered.

Liara shook her head. "I'll have to tell you later. I'm not going to work today. Can you bring me a tea and my datapad?"

Shepard frowned. "Are you sure you don't want to just come have breakfast and leave her to sleep?"

"I want to make sure that she is not alone when she wakes up. I'll tell you why later."

"Okay. Tea and datapad coming up. I'll also try to keep the animals at bay so that she can sleep."

Almost on cue, Benezia came running around the corner and was about to run into the room to gather her playmate when Shepard reached out her arm to swoop her up instead. She then left the room with the protesting Bene tucked under one arm and closed the door behind her. Benezia protested even more when she was told that she would be going to school that day while Jacey stayed home because she was not feeling well. Bene let it be known that she thought that is was, without a doubt, the single biggest injustice ever committed against anyone, anywhere in the whole history of the universe. After Shepard managed to get her daughter to school, she looked in on Liara and Jacey. Jacey was still sleeping and Liara just shrugged at her. She was dying to know what happened last night but it would just have to wait.

They didn't really have the chance to talk until that night, after they got all three girls in bed. Jacey had woken up understandably sad but she refused to talk further with Liara about what had happened. She seemed happy when Benezia got home and they could play together as usual. Unusually, she did not seem to want to let Liara get too far out of her sight so Liara had no time speak with Shepard. She did talk briefly to both Matriarch Lirus and Jacey's therapist. Both were of the opinion that it was a good thing that Jacey had opened up to her but warned that it was only the beginning of the healing process. Her therapist also asked Liara to bring Jacey in the next day so she could help her try to work through her trauma. That night, Liara was a little hesitant to let Jacey sleep by herself but she seemed perfectly content to be tucked in with Benezia in her bed.

When she entered their bedroom, Shepard immediately asked her what happened. Instead of responding, she went over to the bed, hopped into Shepard's lap and started crying.

"Jesus Liara. What happened last night?"

"Oh Goddess, Shepard. It's so horrible what that poor, little girl has been through."

"What? Tell me."

"It would be easier to show you. But I warn you, it's horrible."

"Do it."

Liara melded with Shepard and showed her both of the memories from Jacey. Shepard felt her own eyes tearing up and she pulled Liara in tighter. Liara ended the meld soon after, not wanting to further burden Shepard with her own tumultuous emotions.

"Fuck! The reapers were scary enough to adults. And for Jacey to see her mother dead like that? How can she get over something like that?"

"I don't know. She is young and children are incredibly resilient. We can only hope."

"And then her aunt. The guilt that she feels just because she acted like a normal kid and had a little temper tantrum. No wonder she got so upset when she had her fit and threw that plate."

"She needs stability, Shepard. She needs a permanent home where she can heal and feel safe and learn to trust again. I want to adopt her, Shepard."

Shepard was quiet for a moment before she spoke.

"I know. I do too. But we can't be selfish here, Liara. We have to do what is best for Jacey and for Benezia and Edi, too. Maybe Jacey would be better off in a home without any other children. With parents who can give her their undivided attention. And what about Bene and Edi? Don't they deserve to have a normal childhood without a traumatized child taking their parents' attention away from them?"

"They are both young. In a few years, they won't even remember a time when Jacey wasn't here. We can do this, Shepard. If we want to, we can do this. I can work less if need be. Matriarch Febe has already said that I can have as much time off as I want and I can work from home whenever I need to."

"You've had a rough day, Li. There's no need to rush into anything. Let's suss out what Bene might think about it. Let's give ourselves some time to really think about it. In the meantime, let's be as supportive as we can to Jacey and make sure she knows that we care about her."

* * *

As it turned out, time was not something that they would have a lot of. A few days later, Matriach Lirus called to let them know that suitable proxy parents had been located for Jacey and that they wanted to meet her right away. Shepard felt her stomach drop at hearing the news and she knew that Liara would feel the same. Jacey had already become a part of their lives and everyone would feel the loss if she left, including Benezia and Edi. But that didn't mean that they wanted Jacey to join them permanently. Edi was too young to offer an opinion but Shepard thought that Benezia should at least be given the chance to tell them how she felt.

Before telling Jacey what Matriarch Lirus had told her, Shepard sat down alone with Bene to broach the subject.

"I want to talk to you about something, Peanut."

"Okay Daddy but me and Jacey need to play Commando today and I am very busy."

Shepard smiled at her daughter, her wonderful, innocent, untroubled daughter. She was very serious about maximizing her play time. She recognized Liara's influence in her use of words.

"I realize that but I wanted to talk to you about Jacey. We got a call today. They found people who want to adopt her. That means that she would no longer be with us. She would go with her new family. How do you feel about that?"

"We could still play? She would still live with us?"

It was obvious that Benezia didn't quite get what she was saying.

"No. It would mean that she would move far away. She might visit sometimes but not very often. We might not see her again for a pretty long time."

"No, Daddy. That would be sad. And Jacey will be scared."

"She will be scared at first but her new proxy parents are very nice people. She will be well taken care of."

"But why she not stay here with us? Why can't we be her pwoxy pawents?" Benezia said it with a hint of frustration, like she couldn't understand why her father was so foolish that she didn't think of this obvious solution herself. Her emotions making her 'r' sounds slip again.

"Well, she could stay here but I want to make sure that you know what that means. If we ask Jacey to stay, she will become our daughter. She will be your sister. For keeps. Forever."

"Yes! That's what we do! She with us, for keeps!"

"Okay but I want you to really understand. She is older than you. She will become the oldest daughter. She will be your older sister. That means she will do everything first. She will always learn how to do everything before you do."

Shepard had to bite her tongue when she heard her competitive daughter's response and she recognized her own influence in her words.

"We see about that."

* * *

After dinner that night, Shepard put on a vid for Benezia and Edi and both she and Liara led Jacey to a separate room. They sat her down. It was unusual and they could see Jacey getting nervous. Liara spoke first.

"We heard from Lirus today, Jacey. They have found people who want to come meet you. If everything works out, they would like to adopt you. But we have to ask you something first."

Liara noticed that Jacey appeared sad when she heard the news before her face returned to its normal neutral expression. Despite the expression, her body was tense. Liara took her hands.

"Shepard and I care about you very much. You know how it is here and we think you are old enough to decide what you would like to do. If you will have us, we would very much like to adopt you ourselves. We would like to be your proxy parents and have you become our daughter. Would you like that, Jacey? Would you like to join our family for good?"

It took a moment for the words to sink in but when they did, the neutral expression left Jacey's face completely and instead of responding, she started crying and launched herself at Liara, throwing her arms around her neck. Shepard felt the tears come to her own eyes as she watched the two. After a moment, she spoke up.

"Hey, what about me? Don't I get a hug?"

Shepard laughed as Jacey smiled and then launched herself into Shepard's arms. After giving her a squeeze, Shepard pulled her back to look at her again.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Jellybean? The other people who are interested in adopting you don't have other kids. You wouldn't have to share their attention with sisters."

"Bene and Edi would be my sisters?"

"Yup. Forever. For keeps. Even when Bene drives you crazy and Edi keeps stealing your toys, they would still be your sisters and there would be no escaping them. We will all have to learn to live together for a long time until you are all grown up. Are you sure that's okay?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Jacey responded but then the smile left her face. "But what about Bene and Edi? Do they want me as sister?"

"Bene wants you to be her sister very much. As for Edi, she is very young. She is still a baby. I'm not sure she understands that you aren't her sister. All she knows is that you are another big kid in the house that makes her laugh and who has nice toys that she wants to touch."

"Edi is so cute. She can touch my toys. I don't like it when she puts them in her mouth though. She gets them all slobbery."

Shepard laughed.

"That sounds like her. We'll see what we can do about that. No promises though. Babies just love putting things in their mouths. You might want to put your nice dollies and stuffies on a high shelf in your room where she can't reach them."

The three then went out to tell Bene and Edi the good news. Bene ran around the room screaming 'yay' and then ran to Jacey, giving her a big hug. Both then held hands and started jumping up and down screaming and laughing in joy. Edi, not really knowing what was going on but not wanting to be left out, started screeching and the ran into them both. Before the sound was enough to break eardrums, Shepard managed to distract them all with dessert.

About a half hour later, Shepard felt her heart melting and she got tears of joy in her eyes as she watched Benezia let Jacey pick her ten favorites from Benezia's extensive collection of 'stuffies' as her very own, to keep, forever. About an hour after that, Shepard almost cried tears of frustration when the two had to be separated least they kill each other and each was sent to time out when a game of 'I'm not touching you' became heated. Another hour later, Liara got tears of frustration in her eyes when the two had to be sent to bed early and separately in their respective rooms because they were bickering nonstop. When Shepard checked on them a half hour later, Shepard was shocked to find both curled up together on Jacey's bed, sound asleep. Shepard swore that she would just never understand the mind of the young asari.

After all three minor asaris were soundly sleeping, Liara called Aethyta and told her the news.

"We've decided that we are going to adopt Jacey. We are going to be her proxy parents."

"Didn't see that one coming", Aethyta responded sarcastically. "You two are the biggest pushovers sometimes. So now, you will have three kids under six but then it kind of figures, you are a quarter krogan. Makes sense that you would breed like one."

"That's not even remotely humorous, Father."

"You might want to consider tapping the brakes a little now if you still want me to babysit. I'm too old to look after three kids never mind more."

"I'll take that under advisement. Would you like to join us for dinner tomorrow night?"

"Sure. But I'm tired and I'm not babysitting. Besides, if I leave you two with too much alone time, you might have another moment of weakness and make another baby."

Liara just sighed. "I'll see you tomorrow night, Father."

Liara moved to cut the connection when Aethyta spoke again.

"I think you made the right decision, Kid. I'm proud of you."

"Thank you, Dad. Have a good night."

* * *

It had been a happy but exhausting day, and Liara was more than happy when it was time to slip under the sheets. Shepard nonchalantly entered the bedroom not long after, wearing her typical shorts and t-shirt as well as a strange, shiny hat. Liara eyed her suspiciously as Shepard got under the covers.

"Okay, I'll bite. What are you wearing on your head?"

Shepard smiled.

"Well, I now have two children that I never consented to have ahead of time so to prevent another 'accident', I'm wearing a tin-foil hat. Everyone knows that if you want to keep an alien from getting in your head, you wear tin-foil on your head."

"Funny. Of course, if you want to be 100% sure not to have another child, we just won't meld anymore." This time it was Liara's turn to smile.

Shepard thought about it for all of two seconds. She took the tin-foil off her head, balled it up and threw it across the room.

"I withdraw my objections."

"Yes. I thought you might."

Shepard rolled on her side and pushed her body closer to Liara's. She ran her hand over Liara's stomach.

"This is crazy though. How many couples have three asari children six and under?"

"It is exceedingly uncommon." Liara sighed. "The other mothers at school already look at me like I have three heads when they learn how young I am. It will only be worse now."

"Well, you are a quarter krogan."

"You are late with that bad joke. My father already made it earlier. She's coming over to dinner tomorrow, by the way."

Shepard moved her hand higher and ran it over Liara's breast.

"You know, I feel like I've been gypped here. I have another kid but I never got the pleasure of committing the deed that leads to children. I feel like I am owed at least a couple."

"Don't be silly. You've done 'the deed' plenty of times before. Pick one of them as the conception."

Shepard rolled herself on top of Liara and wiggled her hips until she was nestled in between Liara's legs.

"No. That will never do."

Shepard began grinding her hips into Liara as she leaned down and kissed her deeply on the lips. Shepard then kissed down Liara's neck and across her shoulder, her hand running down to her breast. Shepard felt that blissful moment when Liara's mind ran into hers. Liara rolled her head to the side to give Shepard access to that wonderfully sensitive spot on her neck when she gasped suddenly.

'Shepard! Stop!', Liara thought through the meld.

Shepard paused only briefly to smirk.

'So that's how you want to play it? Well, I'm a Spectre and we don't take no for an answer. Now, spread your legs wider! Council business.'

'No, Shepard! Benezia!'

When Shepard comprehended the last word, she immediately rolled off Liara while simultaneously pulling Liara's nightgown back down just in time to see Benezia trying to throw herself up on the bed.

Shepard sighed. 'Instead of adopting Jacey, maybe we can put Benezia and Edi up for adoption instead?'

'We really need to get a lock for that door' was the last thing Liara thought before breaking the meld.

Shepard watched her daughter finally gain purchase on the bed, haul herself up and then crawl up the bed in between her two parents wordlessly. She then pushed herself under the covers between them. Shepard eyed her, waiting for an explanation that did not come.

"Excuse me, Miss. Is there something that we can help you with?"

Benezia shrugged and pulled the covers up to her chin. "No, I'm good."

"Then why are you here?"

"Jacey had a nightmare and woke me up."

"She had a nightmare and you left her there?"

"No."

"Well then, where is she?"

"Outside."

"Outside the door?"

"Yup."

"Jacey? Are you out there?"

"Yes."

"Would you like to come in here with us?"

"Yes."

"Get in here!"

With that, Jacey bounded in the room and hopped on the bed with one try. She settled in between Liara and Benezia.

"You both need to learn how to knock. You knock on the door, wait for a response and then come in."

Neither girl responded to Shepard. They moved around trying to get comfortable and Shepard received several kicks before the commotion finally settled down. She was just about to drift off to sleep when someone made a rude noise. First, Benezia and then Jacey started giggling.

"That's enough, girls. If you are going to sleep in mommy and daddy's bed, you need to sleep. And there is definitely no farting in mommy and daddy's bed!", Shepard said.

Both girls started giggling again. As the girls finally settled down and became quiet, Shepard did the math in her head. If her daughters were typical, they would leave the house when they were around sixty. That would make her 96 years old when Edi left the house and she would be alone with her bondmate once again. Shepard rolled on her side, grabbed her omnitool off the night table and ordered a lock for the door before finally falling asleep.


	73. Chapter 73

Shepard was holding Benezia's right hand while Liara was holding her left. Jacey was content to push Edi in her stroller as the family went out for a walk on a beautiful Thessian day. Every other step they would lift their arms up, swinging the giggling Benezia into the air. For once, strangers were not bothering them even though they were out in public on a busy day. A woman and her daughter were coming up the street, walking towards them when suddenly, the young girl, a girl of perhaps the age of twelve, walked up in front of Shepard and kicked her in the shin. Shepard stood shocked for a moment before speaking.

"Excuse me, young lady! You can't go around kicking people in the street."

The girl's mother grabbed the girl's hand and moved her away from Shepard, a scowl on her face. The woman addressed her daughter.

"You can't kick people, sweetheart. It's wrong and it's illegal. No matter how much they deserve it."

With that, the woman and the girl walked away from Shepard quickly as Shepard stood in stunned silence. Benezia had missed the whole thing but Jacey looked a little nervous and retreated with the stroller back to Liara's side.

"What was that about? Do you know those people?" Liara asked.

"I've never seen them before in my life. That little girl just kicked me for no reason."

Liara just chuckled. "Maybe it was something you said in the past. You have managed to inspire much emotion in the asari."

The quintet continued walking down the street. As they moved along, they noticed more asari, young and old, glaring at Shepard although thankfully, there were no more assaults. They were headed to the entertainment center in downtown Armali to bring the girls to the arcade there when they got to the vid theater which offered a clue as to why people were acting strangely. The marquee proclaimed that 'The Adventures of Commander Sheppard and the Normandy', the new smash hit from Earth, was now playing on the giant screen. Shepard and Liara had made a conscious decision to keep their fame away from their children for as long as possible so they definitely would not be seeing that movie any time soon but Shepard made a note to read what the movie was about. Shepard still had a hard time understanding how it could be legal to use her name and life story to make vids and books simply by changing a letter or two in her name and including a brief disclaimer in the beginning but apparently it was as she had run across this before.

Just as they were moving away, the theater let out. Many people noticed her as they came out and there were more glares. The young couple did their best to ignore it while the kids seemed oblivious as the family continued on to the arcade. It was while at the arcade that Shepard got the first message from Jack.

'This new vid is total fucking bullshit, Shepard. I am a kick-ass biotic bitch but there is no way that we banged. I think I would have remembered.'

And then another from Garrus: 'Saw the new Earth movie about you and the Normandy. I'm amazed that they even bothered to put me in it. Kind of racist. And I seem to remember that I got way more women than you did. Tali was not happy when you called her a 'thieving Suit Rat' either. Oh, and I don't know if you know this or not, but you're a man. I had my suspicions before that you weren't quite a woman and now they've been confirmed.'

Shepard sighed. Smartass. This movie sounded like a real winner. All of the surviving crew of the Normandy had given interviews before but there was no definitive account of what happened throughout the War by one of the actual participates. As a result, writers and filmmakers often filled in what they didn't know or what they didn't care for with what they thought would make for a better story. It was a vacuum that was filled by many with the story twisted to suit their needs. Maybe it served Shepard right for refusing to give any more interviews and refusing to give the many biographers who wanted to write her story the information that they needed to get the story right.

Giving into temptation, Shepard and Liara downloaded the vid later that night after putting the girls to bed. On the one hand, they did not want to encourage other filmmakers by adding to the sales of this movie but on the other hand, they couldn't help but be curious about what the first full length feature vid made about the Normandy's exploits was like. Feeling slightly guilty, they hit the play button.

The movie went from bad to worse very quickly. The male 'Sheppard' was the classic square-jawed hero. Like many classic heroes from Earth's history, this Sheppard was unflinchingly brave and dedicated to his mission. He was also a sexist and racist womanizer who treated most others like they were beneath him. He slept his way through the entire female crew starting with the very young, innocent and airheaded Liarra T'Sonni, whose character added nothing to the fight against Sovereign except as a damsel in distress for the heroic Sheppard to save.

The genuine Liara began shifting in her seat and muttering to herself, moving away from Shepard as she did. The movie continued with the inaccuracies so that it was easier to point out the few things in it that were actually correct or that actually did happen. The non-human crew members did very little to help in the fight against the collectors and then the reapers while the human crew members were all unfailing heroes. Some of the non-human crew members were left out all together like Mordin, Thane and Samara which was especially galling to Shepard since both Mordin and Thane gave their lives in the fight against the reapers. The role of Cerberus, the human organization that almost destroyed their chances of defeating the reapers and doomed the galaxy, was not mentioned.

Finally, they got to the part that Shepard figured had upset the asari the most. The very useless Liarra begged her way back onto the Normandy where the randy Sheppard soon reestablished a relationship with the extremely buxom young asari. Later in the story, however, when Liarra revealed her feelings of love for Slut Sheppard, he responded that he did not feel the same way, would only marry a 'good, pure Earth woman' if he were to settle down and would never consider a 'fishy, tentacle-head' as a partner. Most upsetting to Liara was that it was a human researcher on Mars who discovered the Crucible plans and her character was there mostly just to provide exotic cleavage. Liara bolted up off the couch.

"Stand up!" Liara demanded of Shepard.

"Why?"

"So I can kick you in the shins."

"Liara! You know that's not me!"

"Yes, but you are human and it was humans who created this vile vid. What is wrong with you people? How can this be such a huge hit on Earth?"

"I don't know. I think it fills a void. It's been about 5 years since the Reaper War and people are ready to examine what happened instead of deliberately avoiding the topic. Besides, the special effects and action sequences aren't bad. Often, that's all that's needed."

"It's awful and people will think it is the truth."

"Right. And I'm going to do something about that."

Shepard got up off the couch and went into the kitchen to grab her omnitool. Liara followed behind her.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm calling different press organizations. I'm going to release a statement that I think it is the most sexist and racist piece of shit vid ever released."

Liara reached over and caught Shepard's hand.

"Let's not be hasty. I think we both might be a little irrational here."

"You're the one that wanted to kick me in the shin. I can't stay on the asari home world when they think I called them fishy, tentacle-heads!"

"I agree that you have to make a statement. We have to make a statement but saying something controversial, it will only increase the audience for this movie. Let our PR person handle this. That's what you pay her for."

Shepard sighed. Liara was right. Controversy always drove increased sales.

"Fine. But if a reporter asks me, I don't think I will be able to keep 'piece of shit' from rolling off my tongue."

A few months later, an even more troubling development occurred which illustrated that the horrible movie was just a reflection of the current mood on Earth. For the first time ever, Terra Firma, a Pro-human and isolationist political party, garnered nearly a third of the votes in the Alliance Parliament. This would mean a major shake-up in Earth politics and could mean a change not only in the Councilor for Earth and her colonies but for Earth's policies towards the other races. The Terra Firma candidates ran on a platform of avoiding cooperation with the other species and argued that instead of diverting any resources or time to helping the other citizens of the galaxy, that Earth and her colonies should be the sole focus of human efforts. With many places on Earth still in a state of ruin and the economy crashing once again after a post-war boon, Shepard could see the appeal of such arguments.

The only problem is that such arguments ignored reality. Humans were not alone in the universe and they could either cooperate with the other races or war was inevitable. Shepard couldn't help but feel angry when she thought that so soon after a war in which they learned the lesson that everyone was strongest when everyone worked together, the lesson had already been forgotten. All the sacrifices made by humans and non-humans alike and these idiots were ready to give into fear and anger and cling to the same illogical xenophobia that humans had fallen prey to so many times in the past. The only difference is that now, the fearsome 'other' to be mistrusted, came from other planets instead of the other side of the world, the other side of a border line or the next village over.

Shepard knew that humans were not the only ones susceptible to such nonsense. Such illogical tribalism appeared in the histories of all the known galactic species, some more than others or more recently than others. This was just another piece of evidence illustrating, ironically, that the 'other' was not so very different from the 'us' after all. It just seemed sometimes that the humans were more susceptible to it than the other races with the possible exception of the batarians and if the reports from the Kite's Nest were to be believed, the batarians might soon be paying the ultimate price because of it.

Shepard could not imagine a major political party for the asari, the salarians or even the militaristic turians, espousing a policy of isolationism and winning. Perhaps it was just their youth in relation to the other races that made humans more susceptible. Even the krogan, who were literally clannish and had almost whipped each other out before they even learned of the other species, knew that the other races had to be dealt with. Because they were more warlike, some krogan espoused just conquering the other races and becoming the rulers of the galaxy but thankfully, they were in the extreme minority. Shepard had even heard some reports from Wrex, that clan affiliations were becoming less important on Tuchanka. This was no doubt because of inter-clan breeding and the influence of the female clans which had always tended towards cooperation rather than competition (or open warfare) like the male clans.

Shepard threw the datapad back on her desk. There was nothing that she could do about it anyway. She was just a private citizen. Even if she used her popularity to steer people away from Terra Firma candidates, it would be just be a temporary fix. It was up to humanity to look at all the information and decide for themselves what they wanted the future to look like. She tried to take the words of her bondmate to heart. Shepard had made the decision to destroy the reapers and to break the cycle. As Liara said, she had set everything back to square one, to the beginning, before the Leviathan's hubris lead to their near destruction and to the destruction of every civilization since then. Now it was up to all the people of all the races and their progeny to decide what direction the future would take.

The decisions, all of them, were now out of her hands. If the races decided to squander their chance, a chance that no other race has had in the Milky Way in over a billion years, that was their fault, not hers. But they do not have all the information. The thought struck Shepard like a hammer and reactivated her guilt. While the knowledge of the Leviathan was available to all thanks to the efforts of Shepard and her crew as well as the Brysons, no one except for her and a select group of friends knew about the true nature of the Catalyst or about what had really happened on the Citadel. Shepard lied in her report. It was a lie of omission to be sure and while the general public didn't have access to the official Alliance report anyway and just assumed it was a simple matter of docking the Crucible to the Citadel and firing a button, by not saying what had really happened, Shepard had in effect, lied to everyone in the galaxy.

Shepard thought about the near disastrous consequences of other secrets and lies. The asari matriarchs lying about the beacon on Thessia, humanity hording the secrets of the Prothean ruins on Mars from the other races with the other races doing much the same with their Prothean treasures, not to mention the lies and secrets of Cerberus. Altogether, it had nearly cost everyone their lives and their futures. What might Shepard's lie cost everyone and the future generations?

A few hours later, Liara found Shepard in her office, typing away on her terminal. Liara moved up behind Shepard and put her arms around her shoulders. Despite not acknowledging her presence, Shepard did not startle with the sudden touch. It was annoyingly difficult to sneak up on and surprise the former spectre.

"There you are. You disappeared after dinner. The girls were asking for you at bedtime."

"Sorry about that. I lost track of time. I'll make it up to them tomorrow with an extra-long story."

"What are you doing in here, anyway?"

"I've been thinking."

"Uh oh. How many times have I said that we should stick to our strengths?"

When Shepard did not smile at the lame joke or even stop her typing, Liara sighed, removed her arms and then moved to Shepard's side and leaned against her desk so that she could see Shepard's face.

"Okay. Tell me what's wrong."

Shepard stopped typing and leaned back in her chair to look at Liara.

"The War hasn't even been over for 5 years and humans are already beginning to forget what happened. They are forgetting what it took to win."

Liara smiled at her and ran a hand over her arm.

"You are talking about the elections on Earth? They haven't forgotten. They are just returning to normal. In a way, the fact that people are returning to old bad habits is encouraging. It means that the effects from the War are being felt less and less."

"But it's only been five years! It's a good thing that people are moving on but what really happened should not be forgotten. All the people who sacrificed their lives should not be forgotten."

"Maybe you are making too much of this. If human politics are anything like asari politics, there is just a natural ebb and flow to these things. The conservatives get into power and then the liberals get into power and then back again. My Mother used to tell me that her job was to make sure nothing too radical happened that would cause suffering and to try to keep things moving, however slowly, in the right direction."

"But things are not moving in the right direction! Terra Firma is the cousin of Cerberus, Liara. Some people are already ignoring or even outright lying about the role Cerberus played in the War."

"Something tells me you already have some action in mind, my Little Problem-solver. I just hope you don't intend to abandon me and your three children to go run for Prime Minister of the Alliance."

"Something just as crazy and ambitious. Do you remember why you wrote that book about your Mother? To set the story straight and to preserve the facts for future generations? And do you remember that journal my therapist told me I should write? I was thinking that I could clean it up, take out the emotional crap and publish it."

Liara looked at Shepard stunned for a moment.

"That seems like a monumental undertaking. You will need a Ghostwriter and an Editor. If you do this, Shepard, everyone will know everything that happened to you, to us including our daughters when they are old enough. There will be people who judge us harshly. There will be Monday morning barebacks who question every decision you made, including the last one."

Shepard chuckled at Liara to which Liara just gave her a stern look in response.

"Monday morning quarterback, honey. Not bareback. I think that has a very different meaning. But I see your point. It could get ugly. We've already agreed to keep the girls away from the War and what we did in it to try to protect them for as long as possible but sooner or later, hopefully, much later, they will find out. Isn't it better that they find out what really happened, in our own words?"

"Our own words?"

"I was hoping you would help me. Maybe even co-write the book with me? We can then get a professional Editor to look over everything."

Shepard noticed the excited look in Liara's face despite herself. She just loved detail-oriented, academic research and writing that drove most people insane. Despite her excitement at being a part of such an undertaking, Liara was still afraid for her bondmate.

"You don't owe anyone, anything. Why don't you write the book with the whole story and then deliberately make the end vague? I understand the need to set the record straight but the ending is the least important part of it. The Leviathan are gone, or nearly so. Their monstrous creations, including the Catalyst, are gone as well. They can't hurt us or the future. The only way they can hurt us is if the whole story is released and people judge you unfairly." Liara's look became much darker as the muscles in her jaw clenched. "I can't be held responsible for my actions if that happens."

Shepard reached out and held Liara's hand. She knew that Liara was correct. The bodies of two of the three known surviving Leviathans were found floating dead around Earth after the Battle for Earth. Knowing about their ability to manipulate organics mentally and not knowing where the third had gone off to, the Fleet wisely decided to incinerate both huge carcasses almost immediately. Not even a predator as powerful as the Leviathan was much of a threat alone. It was assumed that the surviving Leviathan went off to live out its life on some ocean world somewhere, far from the rest of the galaxy.

"I appreciate my fierce protector but I'm much better now. Let them second-guess my decision all they want. I'm strong enough to handle it. I'm at peace with what happened. Regardless of how we end the book, there is still one person that I owe the truth to that I still haven't told."

"Jeff?"

"Yeah. I've told the rest of our closest friends but not him. He deserves to know the truth and he deserves to know if from me and not some book."

"Just remember something that I learned when I was the Shadow Broker. Not all secrets should be revealed. You would not have believed some of the dirty things I learned about the different governments before and during the War. The other races paid the Shadow Broker for these secrets but never revealed them to the general public in the fear that their own secrets would be revealed. If some of these things became common knowledge, it could lead to another war or the complete collapse of the galactic community."

"For example?" Shepard asked.

"Well, this was right before the reapers came so I had to focus and for once, I could not follow my curiosity. One thing you might find interesting even if it is not dangerous information is that the Council knew about Earth and humanity for hundreds of years before the First Contact War. The salarians discovered Earth back in your 1900s. It was decided that you were too primitive to make contact with and the relay was left dormant. The Council feared that if the relay was opened or the existence of Earth was known, that your neighbors the Batarians might come and take over the system. This was the first time that the Council underestimated humanity. They thought that it would at least another 400 years before you developed Mass Effect technology. You beat that estimate by over 100 years."

"Huh. That's crazy. The Council did something right. With the technology that we had back then, the batarians would have run right over us. Did the salarians ever visit Earth? Did they actual land on the planet or did they just scan from space?"

"Yes, they did some research on the planet and on humans. And they spent years researching Mars as well."

Shepard chuckled. "Well, some salarians are green and it looks like they have antennae so I guess they could look like the 'Little Green Men' of Earth legend. They aren't so little though. That's hilarious. What about all those other secrets?"

"I still have those files, Shepard. I've debated for years whether I should destroy them or not but have decided not to just in case they are needed in the future."

"Where are they stored? Some people know that you were the Shadow Broker. If they thought those files might still exist, they might try to steal them, even though they are all old, at this point."

"I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you." Liara smiled. "They are stored on non-networked servers at my father's house that she used to share with my mother behind a vault and security system designed by none other than Ms. Goto. She assures me that not even she could break in. And then there are all those 'acolyte' commandos that my father has living with her now as extra security, I doubt anyone would try it even if they suspected that they were there. Goddess only knows what my father is supposedly teaching all her 'acolytes'."

Shepard grinned. "I thought it best not to ask. They all look pretty happy whenever we go over there though."

A few months before the book, simply title The Normandy, was about to be finished and released to the galaxy, Shepard was finally able to catch up with Lieutenant Commander Jeffrey Moreau while the actual Normandy was docked at the Citadel for repairs and upgrades. Shepard was excited to see her friend in person for the first time in years but couldn't help feeling a little nervous as well. According to Captain Kaidan Alenko, who was still commanding the Normandy and was still Joker's boss, Joker was much better than he had been after returning to Earth and learning definitively that not only had he lost Edi but he had lost his father and sister as well but he still had periods where he did not live up to his nickname.

Shepard smiled as she saw Jeff in a corner booth in a quiet restaurant off the now almost completely restored Zakera Ward. He looked good anyway. The beard was gone and he looked to be in fighting trim shape. He stood as Shepard approached and offered his hand. Shepard pulled him into a hug instead.

"You look good, Joker. I almost didn't recognize you without the beard."

"You too, Shepard. Though I'm getting an eerie feeling here. The last time I met you in a restaurant on the Citadel, I got shot at before I could even finish my drink."

"I don't think that's going to happen today but just in case, let's order the drinks right away."

About an hour later, they had the privacy shield up around the booth. Joker looked at Shepard, shock still in his eyes. His voice was full of disbelief and tinged with anger.

"There was another way?! There was a way to stop the War and save Edi and the Geth and you didn't take it?"

"There was only one way to be sure, Jeff, so I did what had to be done."

"But there was another way! How do you know that everything wouldn't have turned out fine if you did what that thing wanted? Edi would still be here. The Geth would still be here. Jesus Shepard, you're the one that told me that the Geth were as alive as you or I. Didn't you think it was worth a shot?"

Joker was nearly screaming at Shepard and because of her guilt, she just took his anger but now she felt her own anger rising.

"You wanted me to just 'take a shot' at it? Seriously? There were no do-overs here, Jeff. If I made the wrong decision, it was everyone who was going to pay for it. And let's not forget, while I was there hesitating, trying to make the right decision when I had lost so much blood that I could barely see straight, thousands, tens of thousands of people, were dying on those ships and on the ground. Not just on Earth but everywhere. Being killed by the very monsters that that thing wanted me to join with to somehow create a better galaxy. What was I supposed to do?"

"Maybe you made the right decision, Shepard. I don't know. All I know is that I lost Edi and maybe there was a way to save her. Maybe there was a way to save everyone. Let me ask you this, if it was Liara that you had to sacrifice instead of Edi, would you have made the same decision? Or if there was any way to save her, would you have taken that chance?"

Shepard just looked at Joker, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. I gotta get out of here." Joker stood to leave and as he did so, he turned around and spoke again. "I'm glad that you survived. I'm glad that you have Liara and the kids. I've got no one. I lost everyone in the War and maybe I didn't have to."

The next morning, Shepard was back on Thessia and just couldn't find it within herself to get out of bed. The guilt that had plagued her for years after the War had returned full force. A worried Liara agreed to let her sleep in and got up to take care of the kids. Hours later, Shepard, still repeating Jeff's words over and over in her head, heard voices outside her door.

"Watch it, Benezia! You're going to drop it! Just let me carry it." Shepard identified the voice as an annoyed Jacey, followed quickly by an equally annoyed Benezia.

"I got it! Just leave me alone and open the door or I will drop it."

The door opened to reveal Benezia carefully carrying a tray with Jacey and Edi following behind her.

"Good morning, Shepard." Jacey smiled at her as Benezia slowly walked towards her, the items on the tray balanced precariously. "Liara told us that you were sick and we decided to make you breakfast."

"It was my idea!" Benezia said.

"It was not, Benezia. It was my idea.", Jacey corrected her sister.

"Okay but I helped!"

"Me too!", Edi added.

Shepard reached forward to grab the tray before Benezia bumped it into the bed. Shepard then wiped away the residual wetness on her cheeks and smiled as her girls hoisted themselves on the bed. Daddies just didn't have time to wallow in self-pity. There were no 'mental health' days for daddies.

"Well, I appreciate it. Thank you all. It looks great."

"Mommy made the bacon and eggs but I made the toast!", Benezia added.

The slightly burnt toast, Shepard noticed.

"I put jam!", the youngest T'Soni added as Shepard noticed the sticky substance around Edi's lips as well.

"And I made the juice from real oranges!" Jacey smiled.

"Well, it all looks fantastic. Thank you, girls." Shepard pulled each of the girls in to give them a kiss. "There's a lot here. Are you going to help me eat it?"

"No! It's for you Shepard!", Jacey said.

"I wouldn't mind a piece of bacon", Benezia admitted as Jacey sighed disgustedly.

"Well, you can have one, Peanut. And one for you too, Jellybean. And how about some more jam for you, Sprout?"

As Shepard ate her eggs and watched Benezia and Jacey eat their bonus pieces of bacon and Edi licking the jam off one of her pieces of toast, she couldn't help but think that Jeff was right about one thing. She was incredibly lucky to have Liara and these wonderful children. Jacey likely would have died if Shepard hadn't made her decision when she did. Edi definitely wouldn't exist. And what would have happened to the then unborn Benezia? If she chose to somehow turn everyone into some kind of hybrid as the Catalyst wanted, would Benezia have been born or would she have been aborted because she didn't fit into the new forced paradigm? Would the new creatures that everyone would have been forced to become even have the ability to have children or would they simple download into new hardware to 'reproduce'? Shepard thought about the millions, billions of children born throughout the galaxy during and since the War.

It was then that it became obvious to Shepard. These kids were worth it. The billions and trillions of kids like them that had been born since the War and would be born in the future were worth it. They deserved to live in a galaxy free from the terror of the reapers. They deserved to have the right to determine what and who they would become and what the future would look like. So, Joker could just go fuck himself and anyone else who disagreed with her decision could do the same.


	74. Chapter 74

The tell-all-about-the-reaper-war-and-the-Normandy's-part-in-it book was a week away from release and Shepard was starting to get the feeling that the best course of action might be to run and hide. When Shepard made the last visit to her Editor at the venerable T'nais and D'naria Publishing Company and asked if maybe the book would not be that big a deal, her Editor had just laughed in her face. She went on to say that the venerable T'nais and D'naria Publishing Company was betting its entire fiscal year on the 'book' and told her that its marketing department had been busy making sure that every literate sentient being in the known galaxy was aware that the book was imminent. In fact, the publisher was so sure that it would be a success, they had already planned to print 100,000 actual paper books.

When Shepard got home, the kids were out with grandpa so she ran into Liara's office where she knew her bondmate would be sneaking in some work.

"Liara! I've been thinking."

Liara jumped about a foot off her seat and hastily shut down the monitors in front of her.

"Never mind that. I already know that you sneak in here and work when you think I'm not looking like the bad girl that you are. I think we need to get out of here for a while when the book is released. It could turn into a madhouse around here and I think we need to go someplace more secluded for a week or so."

Liara spun in her chair to look at Shepard.

"But I have work and the girls have school!"

Shepard smiled, moved closer and leaned her hip on Liara's desk.

"And I already spoke with Benezia's and Jacey's teachers and neither of them thinks it will be a problem. I also spoke to Matriarch Febe and she told me that because of the extra work you have been sneaking in at home, you are actually ahead of the projections and it will be no problem for you to take a week or two off."

"A whole week?! Or two? We can't take the girls out of school that long. These are the formative years when they learn good work and study habits. Without those, they will fall behind. Without a good university education, Goddess only knows what their futures will look like."

Shepard couldn't help but laugh at Liara's serious expression.

"They have decades of school ahead of them, Liara, and that's if they decide not to go to university." Shepard paused as Liara gasped out loud. "I really don't think missing a week here and there is going to doom them to a life of homelessness or despair."

"We must teach them the importance of a good education, Shepard. How can we do that if we just take them out for a vacation in the middle of the school year? If they can't catch up, they will get bad grades and then they will not get into a good university and they will be forced to become dancers or mercs out in the Terminus Systems somewhere. And all because we were selfish and yanked them out of school."

"Would you listen to yourself? They are five and seven years old and you are already worried about what university they might or might not get into decades from now? Besides, you were the one who told me that it will be up to them to decide what path they will take and we will love and support them regardless."

"And they will and we will. After they get good grades and then go on to a good university for at least a mid-level graduate degree or two, they will choose what they want to do with our blessings."

Shepard just chuckled and shook her head. She suddenly felt sorry for her poor daughters who faced decades of schooling with a mother who took it very seriously.

"We have to be careful not to push them too hard or they might rebel like you did. I agree that a good education is important but other things are important too. Like getting out of town to avoid hordes of reporters so they don't learn too young that their parents are famous, so that they can feel free to just be normal kids."

Liara sighed. "You are probably right. I don't want to expose them to that. The press here on Thessia has been very respectful of the children thus far but I imagine with the book coming out, the temptation might be too great. Best to get away until it blows over and things get back to normal. You have obviously planned this. Where would we go? What would we do?"

"I've got it all planned out. I rented us a secluded cabin at Mount Orlael. I checked it out already and the area is beautiful! And the cabin is right on a hill so we can go sledding and I can teach the kids to snowboard. Benezia and Edi loved it when we took them sledding there last year. " Shepard smiled broadly, unable to keep the excitement out of her voice.

"Is this for you or for them? It does sound like fun. My mother and I went to Mount Orlael several times when I was a child and I have wonderful memories of us there. It was one of the few places where I had my mother all to myself."

"You see. Those memories and the times that we spend with our daughters are just as important as school. We will never get these years back. We have to savor this time while they are young and still want to spend time with us."

Liara smiled and stood up to kiss Shepard.

"Okay, you've convinced me. We'll tell them after dinner tonight."

"Actually, I wanted to surprise them. I wanted to teach them a very important lesson that they can only learn outside of school."

"What's that?"

Shepard smiled even wider.

"The joy of a snow day!"

"A snow day? They have experienced the snow before."

"No. Not a day with snow. A snow day! That's when you are all ready to go to school but at the last moment, you are saved because they have to close the schools because of snow or other bad weather. One of my fondest memories from my childhood. Didn't you have those when you were young?"

"Yes, a few times, mostly for high winds that grounded the skycars. And I hated them. I couldn't go to school and see my friends."

"You had friends?!"

"Very funny. Of course I had friends."

Shepard just continued to look at her skeptically until Liara spoke again.

"Okay, I had only one friend. But it was horrible when I had to stay home. My mother was always busy even on bad weather days and her acolytes didn't always have time to play with me because of the short notice. It was so boring and I felt like I was missing my lessons."

Shepard laughed at Liara and pulled her in for a hug.

"That is definitely a rich-girl problem when one's servants can't play with them."

"They weren't servants, Shepard. They were my mother's acolytes."

"Who promised to serve your mother in exchange for payment and your mother's wisdom? Including taking care of her daughter when she could not? Sounds like servants to me."

"Okay. Maybe there were kind of like servants but what about you and those snow days. I thought you only went to school for a few years when you were very young. How could a snow day be that much fun when you barely went to school anyway?"

"Because it was a surprise! You thought you were doomed to another boring day at school and instead, at the last minute, you got a reprieve. That's what I want to do with the girls. We will secretly pack their bags for them and then not tell them that they aren't going to school until that morning. They will be so happy!"

"I'm sure that Benezia will be happy but I'm not so sure about Jacey. I think she actually loves school and might be disappointed that she can't go. She wants to do well and will be worried that she will fall behind."

"It amazes me how much like you she is even though you aren't related by blood. Her family name is T'doza. Are you sure that you aren't related? You know, you both have that T thing going on."

"Her family was one of the original settlers of Chroma thousands of years ago and before that, her family came from Dassus while mine have been centered around Armali for at least 20 generations so no, we aren't related."

Shepard looked at her skeptically again.

"You know, she was born about seven years ago which was right around the middle of the time when I was 'unconscious'." Shepard used air quotes when she said their code word that they used for the time that she was, by any legal or medical definition, dead. "Are you sure you didn't make any trips to Chroma during that time? Are you sure there isn't anything you want to tell me about any indiscretions you might have had while I was out or any consequences there of? How do we know for sure that Jacey's father was a turian?"

In response, Liara hit Shepard lightly in the stomach.

"Very funny. I'll have you know that I had plenty of offers during that time on Illium. If I were inclined to indulge in any urges, I would not have had to go all the way to Chroma to do so."

With that, Liara moved around Shepard, walked to the door and threw a smirk over her shoulder before leaving the room.

"Wait a second! What urges? Offers from whom?", Shepard called out after Liara.

The day that the book was scheduled to come out, Shepard had a hard time keeping the smile off her face and pretending it was just another day. She made everyone breakfast as usual while Liara was showering. They had managed to get all three girls washed and clothed. Benezia and Jacey were both eating their oatmeal and fruit while arguing about who was better at their newest extranet game. Edi was still looking a little sleepy in her booster seat, seemingly content to quietly eat her breakfast for the moment. When Liara came down, Shepard smiled and winked at her before turning on the weather.

"Look at that Liara. It looks like Mount Orlael got its first good snow of the season. They say that the sledding is fantastic there now."

"Yes, I heard that." Liara responded. "It appears that winter is truly upon us. Do you remember going to Mount Orlael and sledding last year, Benezia?"

Benezia raised her head up from her oatmeal and looked at her mother.

"Yes! That was so much fun. I wish we could go again." Benezia responded.

"What about you, Jacey?" Shepard asked. "Have you been sledding before?"

"No. There wasn't much snow on Chroma where we lived."

"Well, I think it's about time you went sledding. What do you think, Liara?"

"Yes, I think we should all go sledding together." Liara responded.

Now all three girls were looking at their parents with confused looks on their faces. Their parents were acting very strangely and they could sense something was up.

"When, Mommy? Can we go this weekend?", Benezia asked.

Liara looked at Shepard who nodded to her, agreeing to let her have the honor. Liara sometimes complained to Shepard that she was forced to be the disciplinarian while Shepard was the 'fun' parent.

"Actually, your father and I think we should all go today. We were actually planning on going for a whole week starting right now."

Benezia looked at her mother's smiling face for a moment before it sunk in.

"Today!? We are going sledding today!?", Benezia asked disbelieving.

"Yes. We are all packed and ready to go as soon as everyone finishes breakfast."

Benezia screamed, bolted off her chair and ran full speed into her mother, wrapping her arms tightly around her mother's legs. She then started whooping and jumping up and down with Edi, who had also bolted out of her chair. Jacey's reaction was more guarded and she twisted her hands together.

"But what about school?", Jacey asked Shepard. "I don't want to fall behind."

"It's okay, Jacey. I already talked to your teacher. She let me know what your class would be working on for the next week. It's on a datapad that is already packed in your bag. You can go over some of it while we are at the cabin."

Jacey smiled and slowly warmed to the idea until finally, she started screaming and jumping along with Benezia and Edi.

"Alright, alright, you monsters! We leave in 15. Everyone go potty and grab whatever else you want to take with you." Shepard ordered before the girls all ran still screaming up the stairs.

Liara moved to help Shepard clear the now-abandoned breakfasts.

"You were right. That was quite the reaction. I think everyone really enjoyed the prospect of a 'snow day'" Liara said smiling.

"Except for Liara Jr, who as you predicted, seemed a little worried about missing school." Shepard could only shake her head.

"And you will notice that Shepard Jr did not think about missing school at all. You could tell her that you were pulling her out of school for a year and it wouldn't even cross her mind to be concerned in the slightest."

"That is normal, Liara. Ask any kid whether they would prefer to go to school or go have fun in the snow and almost all of them will take the snow."

About 40 minutes later, they were all standing with their bags at the door. The 15 minutes dictated by Shepard came and went as all three of the girls packed additional bags, attempting to take every toy, stuffed animal and game that they owned with them. Shepard did an inspection of the bags at the door and vetoed most of the extraneous items. Shepard also checked to make sure that both Jacey and Benezia had their school datapads. Shepard soon discovered that Benezia had removed it so that she would have more room for another toy. Shepard demanded that Benezia retrieve the datapad and return it to her bag so that she could finish her homework while away. Benezia complained despite the fact that her 'homework' as a five year old mostly consisted of brightly-colored games revolving around very basic things like numbers and letters.

The only thing that remained to be done before departure was to make sure that there wasn't any more 'illegal' contraband going with them. Shepard stepped in front of Liara and held out her hand.

"Datapad, please."

"What are you talking about? Of course I'm taking a datapad with me."

"Yes, but I want to keep hold of it so that you will avoid the temptation to work."

"I'm not a child, Shepard."

"No, you are an adult who works too much. You need a vacation, sweetheart. A real one where you completely get away from work. Now hand it over, please."

Liara sighed and rolled her eyes but she took a datapad out of her shoulder bag and handed it over to Shepard.

"Thank you. Now the backups?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The backups, Liara. You would never go with just one datapad."

Liara sighed again, moved over to their suitcase, opened it, and then pulled out a datapad and handed it to Shepard. Shepard spoke again.

"And the backup to the backup?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Shepard. I don't have any more datapads. Would you like to search my bag, like I'm a common criminal?"

Liara held out her shoulder bag to Shepard.

"No need to search your bag. Just give me a hug."

"I will not. I really don't feel like hugging you right now."

Shepard moved to grab Liara but she batted her hands away. Finally, Shepard held her hands up to signal surrender and moved around Liara to go to the door. Once there, however, instead of opening it, she twirled around and captured her bondmate in her arms, pinning Liara's arms to her body.

"Really, Shepard? This is childish behavior. What are you teaching the girls right now?"

"That it's not good to work too much. Girls, I need you to find your mother's hidden datapad. Check to make sure it isn't in any of her pockets."

With a squeal and some giggles, Benezia and Jacey swarmed Liara with Edi following behind. Little hands patted their mother's jacket and pockets. Shepard noticed as the search got lower, Liara moved her left leg slightly back.

"Search your mommy's legs, girls."

"Really, Shepard? Sometimes I think you are my fourth child instead of my bondmate."

"Daddy!" Benezia exclaimed. "Mommy has something hard in her boot!"

Shepard picked Liara up off the ground.

"Take off your mommy's boot!"

After a bit of a struggle, Benezia and Jacey, giggling the entire time, finally managed to wrestle the left boot off Liara's foot and a datapad clattered to the floor.

"Ah hah! Jacey, please put that datapad back in the living room."

"I don't get it, Mommy. Why do you *want* to do homework instead of sleddin'?" Benezia asked earnestly.

"Because homework is important, Benezia, so one doesn't fall behind. You will be doing your homework when we are away and will still have plenty of time for sledding." Liara responded after being put down and throwing a glare at Shepard over her shoulder.

"Okay everyone. Everybody carries their own bag. Let's get out of here."

Little Edi tried mightily to pick up her bag but was unable to budge it and instead began dragging the wheel less bag along the floor. Shepard picked up Edi's bag while picking up her and Liara's big bag with the other hand. Liara sat down on the floor and pulled her boot back on. As her bondmate and children struggled to get out the door with all the bags, she surreptitiously patted her right boot and smiled before bouncing up to join her family.

Shepard woke up in the dark bedroom of their cabin and was surprised by how cold her nose felt. Shepard felt Liara stirring beside her.

"Goddess, it's cold in here." Liara said as she pushed her body closer to Shepard's and pulled the blankets tighter around them. "It's a good thing I have the hairy ape woman here to keep me warm."

"Even the hairy ape woman's nose is a little cold. The fire must have gone out."

"I can't believe they don't have heat in this place."

"Oh, come on. A fireplace is much more romantic and charming."

"I would use the word barbaric instead. I didn't even think that you could rent out a cabin without heat in it in the dead of winter. I hope Edi isn't too cold."

"I'll go get her."

Shepard quickly bolted out of the bed, taking care to quickly tuck the blankets back in around Liara. Shepard walked over to the crib in the corner of their room and gently lifted her sleeping daughter. The cabin they had rented only had one other bedroom, currently occupied by Benezia and Jacey, so it was decided that since Edi was still in a crib, she would sleep in their room. Shepard returned to the bed, dove back under the covers and placed their daughter between them. Edi crawled up on her mother's torso, snuggling in, looking for additional warmth.

"Maybe you should go check on Benezia and Jacey as well?"

Shepard listened to the monitor beside the bed and heard rustling. She then heard a thump as small feet hit the floor followed by the sound of small feet running, a pause, a flush and then more running.

"I think that those little problems might be coming to see us shortly. And you just know that whoever went potty didn't wash her hands after."

"It's so cold in here, she was probably afraid her hands would freeze off."

A few seconds later, Benezia came running into the room and was soon trying to boost herself up onto her parent's bed. Shepard slipped an arm down and scooped Benezia up on top of the bed. Benezia scampered over Shepard's legs and pushed herself under the covers between Shepard and Liara.

"Good morning Bene. And how are you this morning?" Shepard asked.

"Cold, Daddy"

"And where is your sister?"

Benezia pointed to the door. Unlike Benezia who showed absolutely no hesitation to enter her parent's bedroom unannounced at any time, despite being coached to knock first, Jacey was still a little timid. Shepard sighed.

"Jacey?", Shepard yelled.

"Yes?", Jacey responded.

"Get in here!", Shepard yelled again.

Jacey bolted into the room and hopped onto the bed. She was shivering a little as she pushed herself under the covers.

"Are you two up for the morning? Why don't you two go start the fire and go make breakfast?" Shepard teased as she kissed the tips of her daughters' noses one after the other.

"No Daddy. You Daddy!", came the reply from Benezia.

Shepard sighed. "But I always make breakfast and I'm on vacation. Do I have any other volunteers?"

"No Shepard. I'm too young to go out in the cold", was Jacey's response.

"Don't look at me. I'm not getting out of this bed until it is at least ten degrees warmer out there. You're the one with the body hair." Liara responded from beneath the covers.

Shepard sighed again before reaching an arm out to grab her sweatshirt. After putting it on, she bolted out of the bed again to go start the fire in the living room. When Shepard returned twenty minutes later carrying hot tea and hot chocolates, the only thing visible on the bed was one big lump with not a single blue nose, foot or scalp crest showing anywhere.

"Oh no! What happened to my girls? I have this hot chocolate and hot tea for them but they have disappeared!"

There was rustling in the middle of the bed followed by the appearance of a tiny hand gripping the covers and finally a small head.

"We are here, Daddy. Want chocolate." Benezia responded first but another small head soon followed.

"Okay, girls. Both of you need to sit up. You can't drink chocolate lying down. And what about my other two girls?"

"Edi and we will stay right under these covers, thank you." Liara responded.

Despite the response, Edi soon emerged as well, the prospect of chocolate overcoming her aversion to the cold. She moved from her mother and sat down next to her sisters on the bed. Once she was settled, Shepard gave her youngest a 'sippy-cup' with the sweet elixir.

Shepard sat down on the bed and addressed her audience.

"Okay ladies, here's our agenda for the day. First, we have breakfast and then we go sledding. Who wants pancakes?"

"Me!", came the response from all three minor asaris. The adult asari spoke from underneath the covers still.

"You need to get that fire really roaring, Shepard. If we are going to be out in the snow all day, we will need a nice, warm cabin to come back to instead of this icebox."

"Yes, Lady T'Soni. Your wish is my command." Shepard gave a dramatic bow to the undercover lump on the bed as the girls giggled. "Now, would her ladyship please come out from under those covers so that she might enjoy her tea?"

Liara finally emerged from the blankets enough to take her tea mug from Shepard. Shepard tucked the blankets back in securely around them all.

"Pancakes coming up."

Several hours later, after a few hours in the snow and many runs down the hills outside their cabin, Jacey was finally confident enough to try going down on her own, instead of going down in Shepard's or Liara's sled. Benezia, old pro that she was, had been sledding alone almost the entire time except when she wanted the go down the big hill and by order of her parents, had to hitch a ride with one of them.

"Okay Jacey. Now watch Benezia one more time. Go Peanut!" Shepard spurred Benezia.

Benezia started wiggling her body and pushing with her arms until gravity took over and she was accelerating down the hill. She then pulled her arms and legs in tight, lying down in the sled, laughing the entire time.

"Now there's no real way to steer these things except to lean your body one way or the other but it doesn't matter because there's nothing in the way anyway. There's nothing you can hit so just let the sled go where it wants and enjoy the ride. Do you want me to push you or do you want to go on your own?"

"I'll do it."

Jacey took a couple deep breathes and then tried wiggling her body like she saw Benezia do but the sled wouldn't move.

"Just kind of rock your body backward and forward while digging in with your arms until it starts to move."

Shepard watched Jacey awkwardly rocking her body while trying to push off with her arms for several seconds until she finally seemed to get the motion right and the sled started inching forward.

"That's it! You got it! Now, when it really starts to move, just lay down in the sled."

After a few more pushes with her arms, the sled started taking off down the hill. Shepard watched as Jacey, instead of lying down in the sled, grabbed the sides with both hands and hunched over towards her right. As a result, the sled started turning right. Jacey in response, turned her body even more right and the sled turned right even sharper until finally the side of the sled dug into the snow and flipped over not even half-way down the hill. Shepard started running down the hill as soon as she saw Jacey turning and was there before the snow even settled. Jacey was thrown face down in the show as the upturned sled started slowly moving down the remainder of the hill by itself.

"Jacey! Are you alright?" Shepard asked as she dropped to her knees beside her daughter. In response Jacey started making a noise that Shepard couldn't identify as being caused by pain or hysterics until it became evident that Jacey was giggling uncontrollably. Jacey turned herself over and smiled at Shepard still giggling.

"Oh! This is so much fun! Thank you for taking us here, Daddy!"

After a split second, Jacey seemed to realize what she said and the smile disappeared from her face.

"I mean, thank you for taking us here, Shepard."

Shepard sat down in the snow and pulled Jacey into her lap.

"You can call me daddy, Jacey. You know that I'm not the daddy that you were born with, right?"

Jacey nodded.

"And you were not born to me and Liara, but to us, you are our daughter. We love you just as much as we love Bene and Edi, sweetheart. If you want to call Liara mommy and me daddy, that would make us very happy." Shepard quickly added, "But you don't have to. Whenever you want to. When it feels right."

"I don't remember my Mommy much but I miss my Auntie. I don't want to forget my Auntie."

"And you won't. The next school break, Liara and I were planning on taking you back to Chroma where you can see Matriarch Lirus again and she will tell you more about your birth mommy and daddy and your auntie too. But don't tell Benezia because we were planning on taking all you girls back to Blasto and Friend's World while we are there and we want it to be a surprise. So, it will be just our secret, okay Jellybean?"

Jacey smiled again and nodded before Shepard hugged her again. Shepard then stood up and put Jacey on her feet, taking her hand before starting to walk towards the bottom of the hill.

"Now, let's catch up to that sled of yours and maybe we can go for another run."

When they got to the bottom of the hill, they met up with Liara, Benezia and Edi, all three of whom were sitting in the snow taking a break before the long climb back up to the top of the hill. Jacey sat down with them as Shepard ran down a little further to fetch Jacey's sled. She returned to the group to find everyone still sitting, making no move to go back up the hill.

"Oh come on girls, don't tell me you're tired already! Come on Benezia. Let's get back up the hill so we can take another turn."

Benezia stood up and grabbed the rope on her sled. After a few feet up the hill, however, she plopped down in the snow again, lay down and lazily started making snow angels.

"Come on, Peanut! Don't you want to go for another ride? It will be fun! All you gotta do is pull your sled up the hill."

"I'm tired, Daddy. Why don't you pull me up in the sled?"

"Because that's not how it works. If you want the ride down, you have to make the walk up."

Liara, carrying Edi and pulling her sled behind her, came up to them with Jacey and her sled following behind.

"Actually, I think we are all a little tired. I think we could use a break at the cabin for a nap and maybe another hot chocolate. Why don't you pull us all back up the hill, Shepard? What do you say, girls? Do you want to go for a sleigh ride?"

"Yes!", come the resounding response.

Liara handed the rope to her sled to Shepard and settled herself on the sled with Edi in her lap. Both Benezia and Jacey then gave the ropes to their sleds to Shepard and settled on their respective sleds, waiting patiently for the ride to start.

"That's not what a sleigh ride is!", Shepard responded. "On a sleigh ride, people get in a sleigh, not a sled, and the sleigh is attached to a beast of burden, typically a horse, which then pulls the sleigh through the snow with the people in it. We have no sleigh here! And I don't see any horses, do you?"

The smile on Liara's face could only really be described as evil as she spoke, with more than a little twinkle in her eye.

"No, no horse. But we do have a beast of burden. She's a human, about 39 years old, good teeth. Now, giddy up."

"Giddy up, Daddy, giddy up!", Benezia yelled as Edi giggled and said 'Gid up!"

Shepard knew this was payback for the datapad search the day before. She sighed and started trudging up the steep hill, pulling more than 230 pounds of asari and sled behind her. As the hill reached the steepest part, she started breathing heavy and her steps became slower. Liara spoke up behind her.

"Come on, you can do it, Spectre Shepard. Could you please hurry up a bit? The girls and I are getting a little chilled back here."

In contrast, Shepard was starting to sweat profusely with Thessia's nearly midday sun beating down on her and reflecting back at her off the blindingly white snow. Never one to back down from a challenge, she began to move faster again until Liara spoke again.

"That's it, my big, strong mare."

Shepard stopped and turned her head to glare at Liara while Liara only laughed in response.

"Gid up!", Edi yelled again.

A couple hours later, after a hearty lunch prepared by their mother, all three girls were napping while Shepard and Liara sat cuddling on the couch in the common area in front of a roaring fire. Both women were lost in their own thoughts and neither spoke. It wasn't long before Shepard's thoughts made her fidget. It had now been a whole day since the book was released and despite their best efforts, it was difficult to not be curious about the book's reception.

"I know you're curious. Don't you at least want to take a peek at the news?", Liara asked her bondmate.

"Absolutely not. That's why we got out of there in the first place." Shepard continued, a little bitterly. "Because I'm probably being judged harshly and am being skewered by everyone with access to a hovercam or an extranet blog right now."

"You don't know that, Shepard. There will be some, I think, who criticize your decision. There are always some that criticize everything. But I have to believe that the majority will see that you had no real choice and that you did what you did to save them."

"Well, I'm perfectly content to let them argue about it without me. I'm on vacation with my beautiful family and I intend to enjoy myself without letting the larger galaxy interfere."

The sat in silence a few minutes more before Shepard spoke again.

"There's always the possibility that no one bought the book. It's been years since the War. Maybe nobody cares anymore."

"That's a possibility. I doubt it but it's possible."

They sat in silence a few minutes more, this time both of them fidgeting until Liara brought up her omnitool.

"I could check the Foundation bank account? That would give us an idea how well the book is selling even if it doesn't tell us much about its reception."

Both women had decided that since they had more than enough money to take care of their own needs and the needs of their children for at least the next thousand years and it would be more than a little distasteful to make money off a book that told of the ultimate sacrifice made by billions of individuals, that they would form the Shepard-T'Soni Foundation and all proceeds from the book would go to it. They had already set up the Foundation and had tasked Matriarch Atruna, administrator for the late Lady Benezia's own foundation for hundreds of years, with finding worthy charitable and scientific causes for the Foundation to help fund.

"No. I'm at peace. Whether it sells or not, whether people agree with what we did during the War or not, whether they agree with my decision or not, it's all out of my hands and I couldn't care less." Shepard responded but both knew that her words were not entirely honest. After a few moments more, Shepard sighed before speaking again.

"Do it."

Liara immediately brought up her omnitool and punched in multiple codes and passwords to bring up the Foundation's bank account. When she brought the omnitool in front of them both, they both blinked at what they saw.

"So much for no one buying the book. I don't think I've ever seen a number that large in a bank account before and I grew up rich!"

"That can't be right, Liara. Are you sure they didn't put the decimal in the wrong place or something?"

"Of course I can't be sure but even if it is, it's still a large number. Let's see, we are receiving 15% royalties on sales and let's say the book is selling for an average of 20 credits per, that means that…Goddess, that's a lot of books!"

"Maybe we should plan on staying another week here? Or maybe we should just go to a deserted planet somewhere and become hermits?"

Liara smiled as a thought came into her head.

"You know that thing we spoke about? About making certain 'donations' to certain people anonymously? I think we can definitely afford to do it!"

Shepard smiled in response.

"Let's do it! You're sure you can do it without it being traced back to us?"

"Please Shepard, I was the Shadow Broker and I did learn a few things. They might suspect but they will never be able to prove it."

Both women started giggling as Liara accessed Glyph remotely.

"Glyph, activate banking protocol 2."

"As you wish, Doctor T'Soni. It will take approximately 6 standard galactic days to breach the firewalls to the corresponding bank accounts. Is that adequate or do you want me to use abbreviated procedures?"

"No Glyph. The 6 days is fine. It is very important that no one be able to trace the transfers."


	75. Chapter 75

The taxi was descending to drop them off in front of their apartment after their 8 day jaunt to the mountains when Shepard first noticed the people milling around the entrance to their building. It wasn't until they got closer that she saw the hovercams, several of them moving to point at the rapidly descending skytaxi. Instead of verbally issuing the command to abort the landing, Shepard jabbed at the interface in front of her to take over manual control when Liara's hand caught her arm.

"The cameras already saw us, Shepard. If we bolt away now, they have the recording of us running away like criminals."

"They don't know it's us. We can still get out of here!"

"And then what? They aren't going away. If we ever want our old normal lives back, we will have to come to an understanding with the press. We will have to give them something in order to get them to go away."

Shepard stopped the car from descending any further and she and Liara both turned to their children strapped into the back of the car.

"Okay girls. It looks like we have some reporters here waiting to speak to us. Don't be afraid. They aren't here to hurt us. Just keep walking to the front door and don't say anything."

"But why are they here?" Jacey looked completely confused.

"It's okay Jacey. Every once in a while they come. They're nice!" Benezia responded.

Shepard lowered the car onto the ground and got out of it as soon as the door opened. Her hand reflexively went to the pistol hidden under her jacket against her side. Shepard glared at the group of reporters as they swarmed the skycar.

"Back up! Keep your distance. I'm here with my children and will take any sudden moves as an act of aggression against them."

Violence of any sort on Thessia was greatly discouraged by the law with the penalties for even simple assault being especially harsh. The exception was the protection of one's self and of children. If a person reasonably believed that her children or another's children were in danger, they were given wide latitude to do what was necessary to protect them and there wasn't a court or a jury on the planet who would hold them responsible. The reporters knew this and they also knew that the woman in front of them could do them great bodily harm if provoked so they wisely pulled away from the car and created a wide corridor from the car to the steps. They did not, however, disperse or stop asking questions as Liara and the girls moved out of the car.

"Do you still think you made the right decision?" "What do the other members of your crew think about your decision?" "Doctor T'Soni, what was it like to be the Shadow Broker?"

Edi, carried by her mother, buried her face in her mother's chest when she saw the assembled people. Jacey hid behind Liara, holding tightly to the back of her jacket. Benezia, by contrast, smiled and went to stand beside her father calmly. As they moved up the stairs, the questions kept coming. One reporter stepped forward, dangerously close, and spoke, with more than a little frustration in her voice.

"Come on Admiral Shepard and Doctor T'Soni! You can't drop bombshells like that in your book and then not answer any questions! We are just trying to do our jobs here. You have to give us something!"

Shepard was surprised when instead of continuing up the stairs, Liara stopped and turned on the lower steps.

"I am aware that you all have many questions and both Shepard and I will be making ourselves available for in-depth interviews in the coming weeks. You can contact our publicist, Rilme Serev, for a chance at one of those interviews. For the moment, however, we ask for some privacy so that we might enjoy our betrothal."

Shepard's head snapped to Liara in disbelief at the word. After a brief pause, the reporters burst out with more questions, the crowd buzzing with the new information.

"Does that mean you will be going through the official bonding ceremony?" "I thought you already considered yourself bonded?" "Are you getting bonded on Thessia?"

Liara spoke again.

"While we consider ourselves to already be married under the customs of Earth, I have asked Shepard to bond with me in the traditional Thessian ceremony."

"And what did you say, Admiral Shepard?"

Shepard sighed internally. They had talked about bonding before, of course, if only for convenience's sake but thus far, Shepard had stubbornly refused, truly believing that the laws of Thessia needed to change to recognize marriages from other planets and cultures.

"I said yes, of course. Now, if you will excuse us, we have had a long trip and the kids need some rest."

Liara turned and walked up the stairs, carrying Edi and holding Jacey close to her as Shepard quickly followed. Shepard was halfway up the stairs when she realized that Benezia was not with her. Shepard looked back to see Benezia still standing in front of the reporters, smiling and holding court. The reporters were smiling back, some laughing, obviously much charmed by the young T'Soni.

"Yup. We went sledding and then I learned to snowboard and I didn't fall down hardly at all. My Daddy wouldn't let me go down the really big hill with her but my hill was pretty big! And I went so fast! Whooosh!"

Shepard watched as her daughter got in a snowboarding stance, her arms out as she continued with her bragging monologue. _Where did this kid come from?! _She and Liara both wanted their kids grow up to not be afraid and to not be distrustful but Benezia was something else entirely. Maybe it was time to have the 'don't talk to strangers' talk with Benezia. Shepard tried to remember if she were so gregarious and fearless as a child but she realized that if she had been, she had, by necessity, become much more guarded and silent when she started living on the streets. Shepard rolled her eyes as Benezia continued, the reporters not even needing to ask any questions to prompt her to do so.

"Now Jacey. That's my sister. She's older than me but she fall down a lot!" Benezia laughed. "But she did good. And she'll do even gooder next time."

Shepard grabbed her daughter's hand to pull her away from her adoring fans.

"Okay Benezia. We have to go back in the house now. Say goodbye to your new friends."

Benezia waved and smiled brightly to the reporters.

"Goodbye everyone. Thanks for coming."

_Thanks for coming? Seriously? _Shepard thought as she rolled her eyes again and tugged her daughter behind her. Most of the reporters, even a few of the hard-hitting and completely jaded journalists, smiled and waved back.

"Thank you for talking with us, Benezia", one of them responded.

Benezia turned back around one final time and added "Have a good day!" cheerily before finally bounding up the steps and into the door of her apartment building.

…..

When the door of the apartment closed behind them, everyone let out a breath of relief except for Benezia who had thought it all good fun. Shepard quickly tapped at her omnitool, placing an order for someone with the skytaxi company to deliver their bags, still in the car below, up to their apartment, not wanting to face the questions again.

"Why were all those people here?", Jacey asked her parents.

Liara smiled at Jacey and put a hand on her shoulder, knowing that her daughter had been frightened by the whole experience much as she had been when she was very young and reporters had accosted her mother.

"Remember how we told you that Shepard and I were in the War and that we just published a book about our memories of the War? Well, the book sold very well and the reporters just want more information."

"But why were there so many of them?"

Before Liara could explain further, Shepard looked at her with a not-so-pleased look on her face and spoke.

"Can I speak to you in the kitchen a minute please, Liara?"

"Mommy and daddy are going to fight!", Benezia yelled as she started skipping around the living room, using up a little pent-up energy from the long skycar ride. Edi started hopping right behind her big sister.

"We are not going to fight. Why don't you girls watch a vid? We'll be back in a minute." Shepard responded.

"Come on Jacey! Let's go watch Blasto and Tubs! We missed it while we were away." Benezia jumped over to the large vid screen and turned it on.

"But who were all those people, Bene, and why were they here?"

Benezia shrugged. "I dunno. Like I said they come around sometimes. They are nice to talk to."

"But why? Bene, you must know that's not normal?"

Now it was Benezia's turn to look confused.

"You mean, they don't come to everyone's house?"

"Of course not!"

Jacey grabbed the vid controller and moved through the channels until she came to The Adventures of Doctor T'Soni and Commander Shepard, the show that both Shepard and Liara turned off whenever it was on. Something clicked in Jacey's young brain.

"That's them, Benezia!"

"Who?"

"The people in the vid! That's Mommy and Daddy!"

"Mommy and Daddy are in the kitchen fightin."

"Yes, but the cartoon people in the vid are supposed to be them! They are famous!"

Benezia peered closer at the screen, her five year old brain just not comprehending what her older sister was trying to say to her.

"It doesn't look like them."

Jacey rolled her eyes. "Of course not. They are cartoon people. But it's supposed to be them in the cartoon world." Jacey could see that Benezia still did not understand. "Okay Benezia, what is your name?"

"Benezia. You just said it!"

"Not your first name, Silly. What is your family name?"

"T'Soni! I am Benezia T'Soni!"

"That's right. And what is the name of this show?"

"I dunno. Mommy and Daddy don't let us watch this show."

"The name of the show is The Adventures of Doctor T'Soni and Commander Shepard! Sound familiar? Look, it is written right on the bottom of the show. You learned how to write your name in school, right? Well, there it is!"

Benezia went up to the screen and pointed to the letters as she spoke.

"T-post trophy-S-O-N-I"

"You see? It is the same as your family name because that is supposed to be your Mommy. And Commander Shepard is your Daddy! Mommy always calls Daddy, Shepard. Well, that word right there is Shepard!"

….

When Liara and Shepard entered the kitchen, Liara whirled around to face her and held up her hand.

"Can I please speak before you start yelling?"

Shepard folded her arms and nodded.

"Well, first of all, I need to apologize right away. I should not have said that without talking to you first but I panicked. I saw all those reporters, I thought of something to distract them and I just said it."

"We talked about this before, Liara. You can't just make these decisions without me. This is just like Jacey all over again. Now I'm going to be forced to go through a damn bonding ceremony that I don't even want."

"I should have consulted you, Shepard and I'm sorry but it is the right thing to do. Please let me finish my arguments. If you don't agree, we can say that they misinterpreted what I said and we don't need to go through with it."

"I'm listening", Shepard said, her arms still folded tightly across her chest.

"First, you saw the numbers, Shepard. The people of Thessia are firmly behind you and the decision that you made. They don't want to judge you, they don't want to see you punished, they just want to see you. Getting bonded will be a distraction away from those who do not agree with what you did. We change the narrative away from the more troubling things that we all had to do during the War and towards something more positive to stop the criticisms before they begin."

"Secondly, I know that you firmly believe that Thessia should change its laws to recognize official relationships from other cultures. When we get bonded, you will become a citizen and you will be able to propose such a change and advocate for it yourself. With your popularity, there is a good chance that you can change the laws or at least, the law here in Armali. There is a saying here: As Armali goes, so goes Thessia. If Armali changes its laws, then the other republics will almost surely follow."

"Thirdly, you know about the changes on Earth and in human politics that inspired us to put out the book in the first place. You bonding with an asari in an official ceremony will be a loud and clear rebuttal to all those racist politicians with Terra Firma who believe that humans should stick to themselves. You are very popular with humanity right now, almost as popular as right after the War. This will show every human that you believe in an inclusive galaxy that operates with a spirit of cooperation instead of one of competition, distrust and hostility."

"Finally, I have less logical, personal reasons for wanting to go through the bonding ceremony. One of them is very positive. The fact is, I love you more than I ever thought was possible and I want to, what is that human phrase, shout it from the rooftops."

Shepard dropped her arms but rolled her eyes.

"Now, you aren't even fighting fair, Liara. You know I love you just as much but that doesn't mean I want to put on some show just for other people. What was the other, less positive reason you alluded to?"

"I'm ashamed that I could even be this petty after everything that everyone has gone through."

"But?"

"I grew up here in Armali with one of the reporters that was just standing on our steps. When I was a child, she used to tease me about being a pureblood. She said that I would never do anything with my life and that nobody would ever want to mate with me because I was a dirty, diseased pureblood."

"Which one was it? You should have told me. I could have just shot her." Shepard smirked and grabbed hold on one of Liara's hands.

"I don't think that would have been wise. There was a silly part of me that used to dream about becoming a famous archaeologist who would unlock all the secrets of the protheans and then I would meet the woman of my dreams and she would bond with me in front of the world proving all those awful bullies wrong. Of course, back then, I always thought it would be with another asari or maybe a turian because I had no idea that humans even existed. And this was also before I figured out that there was no such thing as a famous archaeologist and that few people besides I cared about the mysteries of the protheans."

Shepard sighed and picked up Liara's other hand.

"Well, who am I to stand in the way of my little pureblood girl's dreams. Let's do it, Liara."

"Are you sure? You haven't told me your arguments for why you don't want to go through the bonding ceremony and I'd love to hear them."

"I don't wanna."

"You don't want to tell me?"

"No, that was my argument. I just didn't want to but now I'm changing my mind so it's all good. Let's go tell the girls."

"That's it? You aren't going to fight me harder on this?"

"Nope. One of the reasons that I didn't want to do it was because Alecta wanted us to and she was the enemy. Now that I like her better, I need a new enemy. I've decided to make it that blue bitch who was mean to you as a child. What was her name?"

"There was more than one actually but the reporter's name is Lisare D'vena."

"Well, we are going to make her so jealous. I might even get my hair done and wear makeup so I look especially gorgeous when I bond with you so that she is just drooling over what you have but she can't have."

Liara chuckled. "Well, at least I'm not the only petty one in the family. And you're so sure that _you_ will be enough to make her jealous?"

Shepard gave Liara a look as she held out her arms.

"Come on, Liara. I'm the whole package and you know it."

Liara looked at her curiously. "The whole package of what?"

"I'm all that and a bag of chips!"

"I see. More of your human idioms designed to confuse rather than communicate. Let me look it up."

"I'm the cat's meow! The bee's knees!"

"One colorful but confusing phrase at a time please", Liara said as she furiously punched at her omnitool.

"The hottie with a body! The humdinger!"

"Okay, I hate you now and no longer want to get bonded to you. Was that your goal all along?"

When Liara and Shepard returned to the living room to tell the girls that they would be getting bonded, Jacey and Benezia were waiting for them while Edi was already fast asleep on the couch. Liara took her youngest daughter into her arms to put her to bed while Jacey stood facing Shepard.

"Who are you people?", Jacey asked.

"Yeah Daddy, is that you?", Benezia said pointing at the vid screen.

Shepard looked at Liara who just quickly whisked Edi up the stairs. She was on her own for the moment.

"You know who we are, Jacey! We are your proxy parents and we love you very much. What other people know about us as is not as important. And how many times have I told you not to watch that show? It's just a silly show."

"Yes, but is that supposed to be you?", Benezia demanded, pointing again to the screen.

The cartoon figures on the screen were of a human named 'Commander Shepard' and an asari named 'Doctor T'Soni' but that is where the similarities ended. It was still forbidden to show reapers in children's shows least it cause further trauma to those kids who lived through the real thing so the show depicted this human-asari team travelling through the galaxy, fighting crimes and righting wrongs. There was nothing in the show that even came close to showing what really happened. The producers just blatantly stole their names to trade in on their fame.

"Okay, it's complicated." Shepard grabbed Benezia's hanar stuffie as an illustration. "This is a stuffie of a hanar but you know it's not really a hanar, right? Hanar are real people, not dolls. Well, the people who made that show used our names to try to get people to watch but none of it is real. We don't act like those cartoons do and nothing that happens in this show has ever happened to your mommy and I in real life."

"A Ha!", Jacey exclaimed, "but it is supposed to be you. Because you are both famous because of what you did during the war."

"Yes, that is true, Jacey." Liara returned to the living room and joined in on the conversation. "As we told you both before, there was a war and your father and I both fought in it. Because of that, some people see us as heroes and some strangers have an interest in us even though they don't know us."

"I told you I was right, Benezia!", Jacey said. "Will you tell us what happened during the war? Will you tell us what you did during the war?"

"Your Mommy and I think you are still too young but once you are a little older, we will tell you some stories", Shepard said.

"And when you are even older still, I will meld with both of you to show you some of my memories from the War." Liara held the hand of both Bene and Jacey as she spoke. "Right now, the most important thing to both of us is to be your parents. Do you have any other questions?"

"I don't think there is any such thing as the Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy, either", Jacey said with a self-satisfied smile, "that's just you." She pointed at Shepard.

Benezia's eyes grew even larger and she looked from her father to Jacey and then back again, her whole world view reeling again.

"Wait! Daddy is Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, too?!"

"Of course not, Benezia. I'm not Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy and they are so real." Shepard picked up Benezia and hugged her before addressing Jacey again. "Think about this carefully. Do you really want to say that the jolly man who brings you nice presents each year isn't real? Do you really want to say that there is no such thing as a tooth fairy when this fairy brings you money every time you lose a tooth and you are still losing your teeth?"

Jacey thought for a moment and looked at her younger sister, her face softening.

"Okay, maybe the Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy are both real but you are still the Commander Shepard! And I still don't understand why the Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy never brought me nothing before I moved here."

"I explained that already. Santa, and it's Santa and not the Santa Claus, only brings presents to Earth children because that's where he's from but now that you are my children and are all citizens of Earth because of it, you are now on his list."

Jacey thought about it a moment longer. She looked at Liara who smiled at her.

"Okay, I guess I can buy that."

Shepard felt her patience start to slip and she had to resist the urge to roll her eyes.

"That's good. I'm glad. I thought I was going to have to call Santa and the Tooth Fairy and tell them that their services would no longer be needed at this household."

Benezia spun around in her father's lap. "No, Daddy!"

Shepard gave Benezia a reassuring squeeze in response. Jacey only looked suspicious again before she opened her mouth to display her teeth. She used her tongue to wiggle one of her teeth.

"I will need the Tooth Fairy soon, Daddy. If you talk to ….is the Tooth Fairy an asari or a girl or a boy?"

"I don't know." Shepard came up with something on the fly. "No one has ever seen him or her but he or she comes from Earth so is not an asari."

"Then how could you call the Fairy to tell them not to come any more if no one has ever seen them?"

"Because the Fairy has assistants. Parents call the assistants to let them know when one of their kids has a loose tooth or to tell them about a change of address."

"Do you use the QEC?"

"No. Too expensive. Regular faster than light communications."

Jacey now looked panicked. "But my tooth could come out any minute! The message will never get to her or him in time!"

"Don't worry about it. The Tooth Fairy just knows these things."

"But that's not possible! How can the Tooth Fairy know about all the teeth of all the Earth kids on every planet in the galaxy?"

"She has these huge quantum computers that store this information. She then collects all the tips from her assistants and she can accurately predict precisely when each tooth will come out and plan her route accordingly."

Now Jacey looked even more confused and suspicious.

"But how does she get all over the galaxy so fast? There must be Earth kids losing their teeth all over the galaxy every day!"

"Because she has a really fast ship with an oversized mass effect core. She can get to anyplace in the galaxy in a couple hours."

"But Auntie Tali said it takes even the fastest ships days to get over to the other side of the galaxy. There is no way that the Fairy could travel all over the galaxy in a day."

Shepard felt the last bits of her patience fade away and she suddenly wished she had stayed outside with the reporters. She looked pleadingly at Liara but Liara only looked like she was struggling not to burst out laughing and was absolutely no help.

"Tali doesn't know about the Fairy's ship. It is a secret, advanced ship. Now, if it makes you feel better, I will contact one of the Fairy's assistants by QEC and tell them about your tooth." Before Jacey could respond, Shepard changed the subject. "Okay, now I'm hungry. Who wants some PB and J sandwiches?"

"Me, Daddy!", Benezia yelled.

Shepard quickly rose to escape from the room when she heard Jacey speak again.

"Daddy?"

Shepard let out a deep breath before she turned around to face her daughter again. She tried to smile and to keep the annoyance out of her voice when she spoke.

"Yes, Jacey?"

"When you talk to the Fairy's assistant, can you tell her to please leave a hundred credits instead of the usual twenty? There's some stuff that I want to buy."

…..

Rupert Gardner drained the beer in front of him and then put the mug down with a respectable slam. There was nothing quite as satisfying as having a beer or three after a hard day's work. He eyed the overhead vid screens with a smile. Another show about Commander Shepard was playing and he couldn't help but feel a small blossom of pride. The man next to him, looked to the bartender smiling and then to back to Rupert. He nodded towards the television as he spoke.

"Hey Rupert, aren't you going to tell us again how you served with Shepard?"

Both the man and the bartender laughed.

"Laugh it up, you two Knuckleheads, but I know the truth. I was right there with the Commander when she took down the Collectors."

Both men laughed again. Rupert didn't really care if anyone on this rock on the far side of the galaxy believed him or not. As a matter of fact, that disbelief had saved him more than once. First when he was able to evade Cerberus after Shepard had opened his eyes about how lousy Cerberus really was and he decided to quit and again, when he was able to get through Alliance processing and make it out to this small mining colony in the ass end of nowhere. It was a tough, dirty life but it was a life, unlike what many of his former crewmen from the Normandy had experienced, some picked up by the Alliance and jailed while the even more unfortunate ones were picked up by Cerberus. Rupert shuddered when he thought about the rumors he had heard about what had happened to those poor souls at the hands of his former employer.

All in all, Rupert couldn't be happier with how things had turned out. He had even managed to find another wife and start another family. Almost on cue, the bartender's omnitool beeped and he smirked at Rupert again before speaking.

"That was Suzie. She said that she knows when you turn off your omnitool that you are here, that you better get your ass home right now and that if you forget the milk again, she is going to kick your ass right back out the door."

"Aw shit! I forgot the damn milk again. I don't suppose you'd make those last two on the house so I have enough credits to go buy milk?"

The bartender rolled his eyes while the man next to him spoke again.

"Why don't you ask your old buddy Commander Shepard? Maybe she'll lend you the credits?"

The bartender laughed and joined in on the fun.

"Or maybe she will save you when Suzie kicks your ass."

Both men laughed as Rupert brought up his own omnitool. Maybe his pay from his janitorial job with the Colbert Mining Company had already cleared and he would be able to get the milk that his little daughter Maya loved so much and drank so much of. He never thought he'd see the day when milk cost more than an expensive bottle of whiskey but then he didn't figure there was a cow anywhere within a few hundred light years. When he finally remembered his long pass code and punched it in, his eyes grew huge when he looked at the balance in his bank account.

"Well, Christ on a stick! That can't be right! I gotta get to the bank before it closes. I'll see you clowns tomorrow."

…..

Lieutenant Commander Jeffrey Moreau sat in his large, upscale Citadel apartment, given to him by one Admiral Shepard and he wanted nothing more than to leave it. The Normandy was at the Citadel for repairs and for the last few days, he and the other members of the Normandy were mobbed every time they were seen in public. Shepard's book had come out the week before and it was all anyone was talking about. If he never again heard the name Shepard, it would still be too soon.

It didn't help that all of his 'friends' had heard about his fight with Shepard and had called him up at various times over the last six months to try to talk him out of his, to his mind, righteous anger towards the so-called 'savior of the galaxy'. He knew that Shepard never would have said anything to anyone about their falling-out but he also knew that she would not keep it from Liara, who no doubt, told their mutual friends all about it and what a big jerk she thought he was. It also didn't help that one of his former bosses' biggest defenders was his current boss, Kaidan Alenko, Alliance Captain and Council Spectre. Alenko had gifted him a copy of Shepard's book, telling him to read it because he frankly thought he was 'being an ass' for judging Shepard so harshly when he didn't know the whole story.

Not one of his 'friends' agreed with him that Shepard made the wrong decision. Most of them saw it as a 'no-brainer' where Shepard made the only decision that a soldier in her position could have made. Those who had read the book expressed sorrow for their former leader who had to make such a gut-wrenching decision, alone and wounded, and had to suffer the emotional toll that came with the consequences of that decision. Jeff just wanted to get the fuck away from it all for a few days, away from this apartment, maybe slip away to the lower wards and get lost in the crowds who had never met Shepard and who were too busy trying to live to talk about her and her damn book every damn day.

The problem was that Joker had made some stupid decisions himself in the last few days, losing a fuckton of money at the casino after winning so much he thought, very wrongly, that he couldn't lose. Now he had next to nothing until his next pay came in from the Alliance, which wouldn't be until the day the repairs were complete and it was time to depart. So, he was trapped in this damn apartment given to him by Shepard.

He had to admit, he couldn't help but be a little curious about the book. Maybe because she was pissed at him, she wrote bad things about him? Or even worse, barely mentioned him and completely downplayed his part in their battles? He didn't think that Shepard would do that. She was too good, too honest which just pissed him off even more as it made him feel like maybe what he said to Shepard was undeserved. Like maybe he was the one in the wrong and he is the one who should feel guilty. Shepard kills off a whole race of individuals, Jeff still couldn't bring himself to think of the Geth as people, and kills off her friend, his girlfriend and he is the one who ends up feeling guilty? Fuck that!

After a moment more, his curiosity got the better of him and he brought up the book on the datapad that Alenko had given to him. He did a search of his own name and then called up the first instance that the name appeared in the book. He made it into the fourth chapter and nearly every chapter after that.

'When I first met Flight Lieutenant Jeffrey 'Joker' Moreau aboard the Normandy SR-1, he was one of the most arrogant individuals that I had ever met. He bragged about how good a pilot he was, how good with the ladies he was, how good a poker player he was, the list goes on. In an Alliance full of macho squids and jarheads for whom bravado was a way of life, he put them all to shame. He was also irreverent almost to the point of insubordination and when we first met, I seriously thought that maybe Captain Anderson had made a mistake in hand-picking him to pilot the Normandy. I was wrong. Regardless of his other claims, when Joker said that he was 'the best damn pilot in the entire Alliance fleet', he was absolutely right. It was perhaps that skill, more than any of the other skills possessed by any of the other very talented crewmen of the Normandy that allowed us to survive and to, eventually, succeed in defeating the reapers.'

"Goddamn you, Shepard!", Jeff shouted out loud to the empty apartment. He really needed to get out of this apartment. Jeff brought up his omnitool and brought up his bank account. His looked at the figure that stared back at him, logged out and then logged back in, thinking that it had to be some type of glitch. The same enormous number came back on the holographic screen.

"What the fuck?!"

Jeff knew that it had to be a mistake. His first thought was to go pull out all the money before the bank caught it. His second thought was that he would probably end up in jail if he did that when they inevitably discovered the mistake and he couldn't return all the money after he went on the buying tear that he very much wanted to go on right now. His third thought made him even angrier. What if it wasn't an error? He thought about any possible way that much money could have showed up in his bank account overnight.

"Goddamn you, Shepard!"


	76. Chapter 76

Shepard and Liara were determined to use their pending bonding day (or as Shepard liked to call it, bondage day) as an excuse to get as many of the former Normandy crew together as possible in a kind of reunion. They both stayed in touch with many from the crew who were aboard during the Battle of Earth, Liara especially since she had grown close to all 46 other crew members during their long two-year journey back to Citadel space, but it had been difficult to locate some of those from the original Normandy and almost impossible to locate the remaining Cerberus crew. Glyph had been invaluable in locating all those who had slipped through the cracks (and their bank accounts so that they could be given their share of the royalties from the sale of the book) but finding a time when everyone could make it out to Thessia was proving impossible. So, they sent the invitations with a request for 'best dates' and hoped to find a time when most would be available.

To their surprise, they learned that James Vega would already be on Thessia for the next few months. The graduate of ICT and official N7, Lieutenant Commander James Vega, had volunteered to come to Thessia to help teach its military instructors on small squad combat at the newly-opened All-Thessian Military Academy. The Academy was designed to instruct the instructors of the individual militaries from the individual republics in an effort to standardize training and procedures so that the different militaries could join together seamlessly if needed. The asari members of the military had much experience with all manner of special operations and now, after the Reaper War, guerilla warfare tactics but their knowledge and experience was severely limited in traditional combat tactics and strategies so members from Allied militaries, primarily turian, krogan and human, were invited to Thessia in an exchange program.

Despite an invitation from both Liara and Shepard for Vega to stay with them for the duration of his time on Thessia, he opted to stay in housing on the Academy instead, Shepard suspected to avoid any babysitting duties and also for privacy in case an opportunity for companionship presented itself. He had readily agreed to have dinner with them on his second night on Thessia and everyone in the T'Soni-Shepard household was looking forward to his visit.

When Shepard opened the door to let him in, he immediately pulled her into a bear hug.

"Looking good, Lola. I was afraid that you would have let yourself go now that you are just a stay at home mom."

"First of all, Smartass, I'm technically a stay at home dad since my kids are asari and second of all, taking care of three kids requires just as much energy, if not more, than being an N7."

"Oh sure. I know it's a tough job. There's just no way you are in as good shape as you were when you were still in."

Before Shepard could respond, Benezia came barreling into the room and right into her 'Uncle Jimmy'. He scooped her into the air and gave her a hug as well.

"I see that someone remembers their Uncle Jimmy. Do you remember being on the Normandy together, Little Lola?"

Benezia nodded but in truth, she had been too young to remember when she was on the ship, before she had even met her father. Since then, she had seen James many times on vid calls and was told that they had been on a journey together so she thought she remembered.

"Yup, I do. How are you, Uncle Jimmy?"

"I'm good, Little Lola, I'm good."

Shepard rolled her eyes at the nickname that Vega had bestowed on her daughter but didn't say anything.

"Did you bring me anything?", Benezia asked sweetly.

"Benezia!", Liara came into the room and admonished her daughter, "How many times have I told you that it is rude to expect people to bring you things every time they visit?"

"I might have and it might be in that bag over there but first I want to say hi to your mom and sisters."

James put Benezia down and then gave Liara a bear hug as well.

"It's so good to see you, James."

"Same here, Doc. You look great. It's good to see that Lola hasn't driven you crazy yet."

Liara laughed and let go of James. "That is a very near thing sometimes, James."

"No doubt, Doc. Who are those two adorable ladies behind you?"

Liara motioned for the shy Jacey and Edi to come forward.

"Come on, Girls, you've talked to your Uncle James over the QEC before. Say hi."

"Hi Uncle Jimmy", Jacey said as he knelt down in front of her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi yourself, Little Doc. And what about you, Bonita, are you going to come say hi to your Uncle Jimmy?"

Edi shyly moved forward to give James a hug, a smile on her face. When she pulled back, her questioning began.

"Why you got hair?"

"I've got hair because I'm a human just like your Daddy."

"Why your hair so short?"

"Because I'm a Marine! We keep our hair high and tight because we aren't girls or hippies."

"What's a hippie? Why are you so fat?"

"Whoa! What? I'm not fat! I'm less than 10% body fat!"

Shepard laughed at Vega's reaction.

"Sorry James. Edi is in 'why' stage and I think she meant big and not fat. You are much larger than most people she sees here on Thessia."

James stood up and lowered his forearm to Edi.

"I'm big because I am a lean, mean, muscular, fighting machine. Feel my arm. Solid muscle."

Edi felt his arm.

"Now hold on tight."

Vega lifted his arm and lifted Edi right off the floor as well. She started giggling. Benezia saw the ride her sister was getting and objected.

"What about me, Uncle Jimmy? I wanna ride!"

Vega offered his other arm to Benezia and did the same with her. He then turned his back to Jacey and lowered himself until he was squatting in front on her. He looked over his shoulders.

"Hold on to my shoulders, Jacey. Hold on tight."

Vegas then stood with all three girls hanging off of him and started moving around like Frankenstein's monster.

"Wow! You strong. You even stronger than Daddy!", Benezia exclaimed. James smirked in Shepard's direction.

"That's right, I am. And always have been."

James lowered himself and the girls to the floor.

"Now, why don't you girls go see what's in that bag that I brought you?"

The girls all ran over to the bag and hurriedly unzipped it. They pulled out three bright pink boogie boards. The girls looked at them curiously.

"What is it?", Benezia was the first to ask.

"It's a body board. You take it to the beach and use it to ride the waves. Your Uncle Jimmy will show you how to use it. It's a lot of fun. You'll love it."

"Thank you, Uncle Jimmy! Can we go now?"

"That's gonna have to wait, Little Lola. Sometime soon though."

"You can use it in the pool too but it's not as much fun because no waves." Shepard added.

"You guys got a pool?! Man, I haven't been swimming in forever. I don't suppose we could go check it out after dinner?"

"I don't see why not. I got some old shorts that are huge on me. You might be able to squeeze into them. I have a strict bathing suits not optional rule for this household."

"Yes! Yes! Swimming!", the girls all screamed.

"But dinner first. Why don't you three monkeys go wash your hands.", Shepard instructed her daughters. They each tried to pick up their board to take it with them but they were awkward to walk with. Edi's board was actually taller than she was. "You can leave the boards here, girls. They aren't going anywhere."

James leaned in closer to Shepard and spoke in a low voice.

"Speaking of swimming, I've heard some rumors about the beaches here on Thessia."

"And they are all true, James."

"That's good." James grinned widely. "I've been looking to do a little cultural exploration."

Liara overheard this and started talking excitedly.

"Oh James, you are so lucky. The Guildhall is now open. If you like, I can take you on a personal tour. We have artifacts from all eras of asari history. We have artifacts from all areas of interest. It is a wonderful place to visit."

"Ah, yeah. I definitely want to do that while I'm here, Doc."

"Is there a particular area of history that you are interested in? Or perhaps, you would like me to give you a generalized tour that will give you a good overview of the key events in asari history and exploration? We could get most of it done in a day but a second day might be required. I know that you teach at the Academy all week but perhaps this weekend?"

"Ah, well, to tell you the truth, Doc, I've had a really intense few years and I haven't had much shore leave. I was kind of hoping to just chill for a few weeks."

"Of course. Well, if you tell me what days you have off, I'm sure we could tour the Guildhall in a more relaxed fashion. Maybe no more than a few hours a day? It might be even be better that way. You will be able to absorb more and be able to reflect more on what you have seen."

James looked at Shepard pleadingly. Shepard chuckled before she spoke.

"Honey, I think when James said he was interested in some cultural exploration, I think what he really meant was looking at naked asari."

Liara deflated a little and then sighed before turning to go into the kitchen. Shepard could hear her muttering something about 'goddess-damned marines' and 'sex-crazed humans' as she did.

"Oh boy, I think I might have hurt Blue's feelings."

"Don't worry about it. She's used to her friends visiting and being less interested in the Guildhall than she is. She heard cultural exploration and got her hopes up. It's her fault for making friends with a bunch of knuckle-draggers."

"Not to mention, marrying one."

"I'll have you know that I've been given a tour of the Guildhall a dozen times. I probably know more about asari history than most asari history instructors do. Speaking of knuckle-draggers, I heard that they offered you a spot as an instructor at ICT and you chose to come here instead?"

"I did. I can always go instruct at ICT later. I thought this was a good way to show my support for good intra-species relations."

"Ah huh. And the fact that you get to instruct hot female-types instead of sweaty, hairy, mostly male recruits had nothing to do with it?"

"Of course not! I am very devoted to the idea of a more peaceful, cooperative galaxy." James grinned widely again. "It's weird though. The asari that I'm instructing are all matrons or even older and yet they all look like twenty-five year olds. Very fit twenty-five year olds. How do you tell how old an asari is?"

"All I can tell you is that you better ask for an ident card before you date anyone here. I won't be there is save you if you piss off a krogan father after coming on to his adolescent daughter."

…

After dinner, they all dressed in their bathing suits to go take a swim in the pool. Liara had agreed to wear her swim suit in an effort to make both Shepard and James feel more comfortable even though she still complained that it was silly to wear clothing in water. When they got to the pool, there were already a couple asari residents there, neither of whom was wearing a suit. James was shocked but quickly got over his reluctance and stripped down to his borrowed shorts. He then proceeded to flex his muscles and preen like a peacock in front of the two asari. Liara loved James but she did get wary of his excessive ego. As impressive as his physique was, no one was as impressed with it as he was. She thought of an idea.

"Oh James. You told me once that you grew up near the ocean and that you are a good swimmer. Care for a little race?"

"With who? Shepard?"

"No, with me. Say, down to the end of the pool and back twice? If I win, you will babysit for us for five nights of our choosing. If you win, we will do all your laundry for the duration of your stay here on Thessia."

"No thanks, Liara. That wouldn't be fair. I don't want to take advantage."

"Bark, Bark, Bark." Liara put her thumbs in her armpits and started flapping her arms. Shepard was in the water already with the girls, taking turns towing them on their new boards. She saw Liara and yelled over to Vega.

"She's calling you a chicken, James. Are you going to let her get away with that?"

"Alright. If that's the way you want it, Doc. Just remember that I warned you. My dress uniforms need to be starched and pressed."

"I don't need to know that, James. I am faster when I swim without the suit but I'm sure I will still manage."

"Wait! You usually swim naked?"

"Yes."

"Well, you can if you…"

"Not on your life, James!" Shepard called out. "She might still beat you even if she were wearing her armor. Come on girls. Let's get out of the pool so we can watch your Mommy beat Uncle Jimmy's butt in a swimming race."

"Well, I just didn't want her to have any excuses when I beat her!" James called back to Shepard.

As expected, Liara handily won the race. She reached the side of the pool and had already hopped out by the time James finished. James clung to the side of the pool, desperately trying to catch his breath. All three girls were jumping around their mother, congratulating her on her win. The two other asari were clapping and smiling as well.

"Holy hell, Blue! Are you sure you didn't use any biotics?", James asked when he finally got his breath back.

"No. No biotics. Just muscles." Liara smirked at Vega as he finally got out of the pool, flexing her biceps in a pantomime of Vega's usual preening.

Vega noticed the two asari watching him from the other side of the pool and smiled at both of them as he ran his towel over his body.

"Well, at least I put on a good show", Vega said smirking, throwing another smile at the two asari. "The lovely ladies over there seem to have enjoyed that. Maybe I should go introduce myself."

Liara chuckled. "Do you mean the two elderly asari over there? They are both well over a thousand years old and have been bonded together for over 400 years but perhaps they would be interested in experiencing a young human male together. I could go introduce you, if you like."

Vega's face fell and he quickly turned away from the elderly couple.

"No! I, ah, I better go show the girls how to use their boards."

Liara chuckled again as Vega's normally tan face turned a bright red and he wrapped his towel around his waist.

…

A few nights later, Shepard and Liara were eagerly anticipating their 'date night' while the T'Soni girls were excited that their Uncle Jimmy would be coming over to watch them. They were all at the dining table, finishing their desserts.

"Okay girls, who wants more chocolate cake? How about soda? Anyone want more soda?"

"Me!", came the enthusiastic response.

Liara followed the smiling Shepard in to the kitchen.

"You are being immature."

"I don't know what you are talking about", Shepard responded innocently.

"Giving the kids extra sugar and caffeine before James comes over just because he made a crack about your current fitness levels."

"He needs to be taught a lesson about how hard it is to look after three young children. He's thinking about settling down and having a few kids. Think of this as training for him."

Shepard returned to the table and gave each of her daughters another small slice of cake and more caffeinated soda.

"Now remember, girls, your Uncle Jimmy loves to play. Don't just sit there in front of the vid screen tonight. If there is something you want to play, ask your Uncle Jimmy to join you. He'll be upset if you don't." Shepard smiled as she instructed her daughters.

"Listen to what your Uncle James tells you, girls. I don't want any bad reports." Liara added just as the bell rang.

….

When they returned to their apartment late that night, Shepard and Liara blinked at the sight before them. The vid screen was still on, blaring much too loudly, but the lights were off. There was a broken lamp on the floor next to the couch and there was an open pizza box, half-eaten crusts and spilled juice on the coffee table in front of the couch. On the couch itself, lay the sprawled Jacey and Benezia fast asleep, while James Vega was fast asleep in the reclining chair with Edi unconscious on top of his chest.

Liara and Shepard quickly and quietly moved to scoop up Jacey and Benezia to put them to bed. They then returned to get Edi. As Shepard moved closer to James, she had to stop herself from laughing out loud. Edi was drooling on his chest and his t-shirt was more than a little damp, Shepard suspected because Edi's 'big girl' training pants leaked. James himself was completely unconscious with his face covered in pink swirls, lines and in the center of his forehead, an unevenly-drawn flower. To top off the look, Shepard could see small multi-colored bows in his hair. Shepard motioned for Liara to come over to get a look. Liara had to cover her mouth with her hand to avoid giggling out loud.

Shepard gently and quietly scooped Edi up off of James and then handed her to Liara.

"You take Edi and I'll take care of Jimmy here", Shepard whispered.

Liara couldn't help but giggle quietly as she carried her youngest out of the room. Shepard moved to the back of the recliner, leaned in close to James and in her best 'command voice' barked, "On your feet, Marine!"

Vega's eyes snapped open immediately and he bolted to his feet, half falling over the chair before he righted himself and stood at rigid attention. Shepard came to stand before him, smirking, arms folded across her chest.

"Do you want to explain what happened here, LC?"

James blinked and looked around, finally relaxing when he realized where he was. He rubbed his neck.

"Dios! That was a long night!"

"How did our lamp get broken?"

"Well we were playing Commando which was kind of fun but I dove for cover behind the couch and I think my leg might have hit the lamp. Then they played huntress and I was the wild varren. Then the girls wanted a snack so I ordered pizza. Then they wanted to give me asari facial markings…"

Shepard chuckled.

"Well, you might what to wash those off before you show up at the Academy tomorrow. You look a little ridiculous."

James sighed and rubbed his face. "I tried already. I think I might have let the girls use the wrong markers and now I can't get it off."

Shepard only laughed harder. "Well, you look very pretty."

"It doesn't look too bad, right? I mean, turians have facial tattoos and they're tough. They're warriors."

"I don't think I've ever seen a turian with a pink flower in the middle of his forehead." Shepard smirked. "And are those bows in your hair? The girls do that to me sometimes too but how did their tiny fingers tie bows in your hair when it's so short?"

James rubbed his head with his hand and pulled out one of the bows, taking his hair with it.

"I think they might have used glue." James sniffed his shirt. "I think I need to take a shower."

"I think you better bunk here tonight, James. It's almost three and you need to be at the academy at seven. There is a guest bedroom with a shower, upstairs, third door on the right. Throw your clothes in the recycler and they should be ready by the time you wake up."

James turned and started towards the stairs. Shepard heard him mumbling something like 'hijos del diablo' as he moved away.

"I heard that!", Shepard yelled after him but couldn't help but chuckle again.

…

Shepard and Benezia walked in the house, Benezia with her head hung low. They had just returned from Daddy-Daughter dance lessons at the local dance academy. Shepard had decided to take the lessons alternately with Benezia and then Jacey so she would get to spend some time alone with both of them doing something fun. Jacey and Liara were sitting on the couch watching a vid but Jacey jumped up when she saw Benezia was home, happy to see her playmate again.

"Hi Daddy. Hi Bene. How was dance class? Do you want to play Exo Planet Explorer, Bene?"

"I'm afraid she can't, Jacey. Go straight up to your room, Benezia. I need to talk to your mother. And could you go play in your room too, Jacey? The grownups need to talk."

"But why do I have to go up to my room? I didn't do anything wrong?", Jacey pouted.

"Please, just go up to your room for a little bit, Jacey." Shepard sighed warily. "You can finish watching your show later."

Jacey reluctantly obeyed as Aethyta came out of the kitchen, a drink in her hand. Liara looked at Shepard curiously.

"What happened?", Liara asked.

Shepard rubbed her neck as she tried to explain.

"Well, there was an incident at the Father-Daughter dance class."

"What kind of incident?", Liara asked alarmed.

"Well, Benezia kind of got in a fight."

Liara stood up, facing Shepard, her face alarmed.

"A fight?! At a dance lesson?"

"It's okay. No one was hurt. And I don't think she meant to hurt any of them when she knocked them down."

"What?!", Liara was raising her voice despite herself, "Benezia, my daughter, knocked someone down?"

"Well she knocked three girls down but as I said, none of them were hurt."

"She knocked three girls down? Did they attack her first? What happened?"

"We just got finished with our 'performance'", Shepard used air quotes, "and apparently, a few of the girls laughed at her and she got mad. She told them to stop or else. And apparently, they didn't stop…"

Shepard was interrupted by the sound of Aethyta cackling. "So, she knocked them down on their asses? That's my granddaughter!"

Liara whirled around to glare at her father.

"It's not funny, Father! I will not have my daughter going around knocking people down just because she doesn't agree with something that they say!"

As Liara was yelling at her father, Shepard couldn't help but get a grin on her face. As she caught Aethyta's eye, she held up three fingers and mouthed the words 'three of them' and then made a motion with her hand of something being slammed down on the ground. Aethyta laughed again. Liara whirled around again to glare at Shepard, who quickly removed the smile from her face and pretended to be looking intently at something on the ceiling.

"Both of you, this is not funny. I will not teach my daughters that violence is an acceptable solution for interpersonal conflict and you two will NOT undermine me in this."

"Relax, honey. I already told her that she can't go around shoving people no matter what they say. I told her that she should have just ignored them."

"And what did those girls say that was so egregious that Benezia felt the need to attack them?"

"Well, I think they might have been laughing at my dancing and I think she might have been defending my honor or something." Shepard looked sheepish and rubbed her neck again. "But I told her that it didn't matter what they said, she didn't have the right to touch them. I didn't get a chance to talk to the instructor afterwards because I thought it was best if we just left but I know that no one was hurt. There are mats all over the floor there so no harm done."

"The harm was already done when my daughter decided that it was okay to put her hands on another person in anger. I'm going to have to call the instructor. And then, I will have to get the names of the girls' parents so that we can apologize."

"Whoa! I think you are taking this way too seriously, Liara. It was just a little school-yard tussle, so to speak. No big deal. Benezia knows that she shouldn't have done it and she said she won't do it again. End of story."

"Our daughter attacking other children is a big deal! I'm going to go talk to her."

…..

The next day, Shepard received a letter from the instructor of the dance school that held the Daddy-Daughter dance classes. Shepard was flabbergasted by what she read.

_Dear Ms Shepard,_

_We pride ourselves here at the T'Mivo Academy of the Dance in our ability to bring the joy of the dance to all students regardless of their natural talent or innate grace. We firmly believe that every sentient being, regardless of their limitations or disabilities, should be given the opportunity to bring out their inner dancer. Which is why it pains me greatly when I must admit, with honest humility, that there is nothing that I can do to assist you in becoming a better dancer. We must all be honest with ourselves about our own limitations, which is why I must admit my own limitations as an instructor and admit to myself and to you that there is no way that I can help you. _

_In light of yesterday's incident and the continued distraction that your presence brings to our students and staff, I must regrettably request that you refrain from attending any more Father-Daughter dancing classes or any of our other public offerings. And because of my own failings as an instructor which I mention above, I am afraid that I cannot offer you private lessons either. _

_I hope that you will see this as a failure on my part and not some insult to you or your abilities. If there is some physical disability that you possess that prevents you from being able to dance in even an average manner, perhaps medical science can provide some solutions for you? To end on a positive note, both your lovely daughters show great potential to become graceful dancers. In fact, your daughter Benezia shows above average abilities for someone her age. I would find it very gratifying if you would consider continuing their education in the dance at our Academy and I would personally be honored to instruct both of them further. _

_Yours Truly,_

_Matriarch Iness T'Mivo_

Shepard stormed into the kitchen where Liara was, waving the datapad containing the letter in front of her.

"Look at this, Liara! Look at what that pompous, arrogant, pretentious old piece of shit wrote to me!"

"And what pompous, arrogant, pretentious old piece of shit would that be?"

"That stupid dance teacher. Oh sorry, instructor of 'the dance'. Instead of just calling it dancing, she always calls it 'the dance'! I mean, who says shit like that?"

Now Liara looked concerned and she snatched the datapad from Shepard's hands. Shepard watched as Liara's eyes scanned back and forth across the pad until Liara's shoulders relaxed and a small smile came to her lips.

"Thank the Goddess! This is good news."

"She's firing me, Liara! I'm paying her good money and she said that I suck, very politely but that was the basic gist of it, and that she will no longer take my money because that's how bad I suck! How can that be good news?"

"What do you care, Shepard? You don't care about dance classes. You were just doing it for the girls. You'll find something else to do with them. I'm just relieved with her assessment of the girl's abilities. I was concerned that with Benezia inheriting so many of your traits, that she would inherit your dancing ability as well. And she is willing to continue instructing the girls despite the incident with Benezia yesterday."

"Very funny, Liara. Well, my daughters aren't going back to that stupid place. Who cares if Benezia can dance or not?"

"It is widely regarded as the best dance school in Armali and her students regularly place highly in Thessian-wide dance competitions. And Benezia is your daughter but she is asari. Any asari who is too uncoordinated to dance…well, it would not be a good thing."

"So, you would actually send your daughters back there after she so grievously insulted your bondmate?"

"Yes."

"You're so mean! So, I take it you agree with her assessment? You think that I'm a hopeless dancer as well?"

"I…enjoy how much enthusiasm you bring to your dancing. I appreciate how free you feel when you are dancing while others with your abilities might tend towards self-consciousness and embarrassment." Liara saw the (she thought) feigned look of hurt and offense in Shepard's eyes. "Well, Goddess, Shepard. What do you want me to do? Go knock her down like your daughter did to those girls?"

Shepard thought about for a moment before speaking.

"Yes."

Liara rolled her eyes. "Or maybe you want to help teach our daughters the importance of finding non-violent solutions to interpersonal conflicts by going and knocking her down instead?"

"I might just!"

Shepard twirled around dramatically and started moving out of the room.

"I also like looking at your ass while you're dancing." Liara called after her, hopefully.

Shepard didn't bother to stop or turn around. She just waved her hand.

"Nope. It's too late to try to flatter me. I'm never dancing with you again. And you're not getting any more of this", Shepard brought her hand down and slapped her own behind, "until you apologize."


	77. Chapter 77

Matriarch Alecta eyed the feet that were now propped up on the coffee table in front of her desk in her office. She sighed internally and tried not to get annoyed. She supposed she should be flattered. She knew that the more informal Shepard behaved around a person, the more she liked and trusted that person. Their relationship had progressed nicely since their initial meeting in court as judge and accused. Alecta let her eyes fall to the paper bag that Shepard had thrown on her desk. It appeared to have grease stains on the bottom. She frowned as she hastily picked up the bag and put some papers from her recycling basket underneath it.

"So, I think you and rest of the Court will readily sign off on the new contracts with the quarians and the krogan. They are a good deal for Thessia as well as the other parties."

Alecta eyed the two data pads in front of her before she spoke.

"I don't see why we had to outsource the work on the new voting mainframes to off-worlders. There are plenty of Thessian computer engineering companies who could do the work and for cheaper."

"And the solid ones already have more work than they know what to do with and are already trying to hire off-worlders to do it since there are just not enough trained asari engineers to do all the work still needed to continue fixing the infrastructure that was destroyed during the war. Yes, it will cost more but quarian engineers of any sort are generally regarded as the best in their fields regardless of what kind of engineering it is. Besides, you have to look at the big picture and the benefits that are not spelled out in the contract itself."

"Which are?", Alecta asked while looking up at Shepard.

"The more the quarians are included in the galactic society and its economy, the less likely they will be tempted to create a race of artificial intelligences that then rise up and attempt a violent overthrow of the organics." Shepard smirked. "Besides, the arrival of so many quarians to the major cities of Thessia will be a boon to the local service economies which have been floundering a bit."

"Good points all. I and the other justices will consider it. Your other proposal might be an even more difficult sell. Why in the Goddess would we agree to allow the krogan colonization rights to Lesuss?"

"Because your colony there is dying. There are simply not enough asari interested in moving there to perform all the labor necessary to rebuild and expand. The krogan are always looking for new places to settle and their architects and builders are incredibly talented. If a krogan designs something, it will be built to last. Maybe the asari architects can work with their krogan counterparts to design something more ascetically pleasing then typical krogan design."

Alecta shook her head. "It will only be a matter of time before the asari are outnumbered and it becomes a krogan world."

"The krogan have agreed to limit the number of settlers allowed on the planet and already their birthrates have slowed after the newness of no longer being limited by the genophage has worn off. Already, they have developed birth control methods that are starting to catch on. And frankly, if there are not enough asari who are interested in Lesuss then maybe it should be a krogan colony."

"I don't think the other justices will find that argument tolerable."

"It's a crap garden world. Most asari are uncomfortable there while the krogan will have no problem with it. Besides, you're not looking at the big picture again, Matriarch."

"Which is, Saava?"

Shepard smiled at Alecta's use of the asari name for an adolescent who is very young with much to learn.

"Which is, with asari and krogan living and working together on that colony, things will happen. In a few years some of them will fall in love. In a couple hundred years, some of their children will fall in love. This should be a natural limit to the number of krogan born since you predatory asari steal our genetic codes to create more asari children."

Shepard chuckled at the look of outrage that crossed Alecta's face before she held up her hand and continued.

"Most importantly, in a few hundred years after that, long after you and I and Urdnot Wrex are dead, when some ambitious, psychopathic krogan comes to power and he wants to take over the galaxy, he won't have the numbers because the krogan living on Lesuss and elsewhere will no longer be able to see the asari as 'other'. Co-mingling of species is always a bumpy road but it also always leads to greater tolerance and acceptance of each other."

"That is a very wise, long-view way of thinking about things." Now it was Alecta's turn to smirk. "You almost sound like a matriarch."

"There's no need to be insulting!" Shepard scowled. "Enough about the contracts. I need to talk to you about this shin-ding that we are having. I need you to help us invite the right Grand Poohbahs and Mucky-mucks."

"I'm pretty sure my translator, and now I, have no idea what you just said."

"The public reception for our bonding? I'm going to be inviting a very important krogan to this thing and I need to know the right matriarchs to invite. Those who are influential in foreign affairs as well as anyone who will be incredibly offended if they aren't invited."

"I'm afraid that is a question that is fraught with danger. Your Bonding has become the social event of the year and any matriarch who is not invited will be offended or worse yet, hurt."

Shepard hung her head back on her shoulders and sighed. She had agreed to have their bonding ceremony televised so that the whole planet could share in their 'joy'. She had planned on having only a relatively small party afterwards with close friends and the people she considered family but Alecta had convinced Liara that they needed to have a large public reception as well. Shepard finally reluctantly agreed and decided that she could at least try to get something practical accomplished with the damn circus.

"Which is why I didn't want to do this thing in the first place. Now people who have never even met me will hate me because I hurt their egos by not inviting them to my own damn bonding day. It was your idea so it is your responsibility to come up with the list. And I get to veto anyone I don't like and I want preference given to those who have sway in foreign affairs."

Alecta looked at Shepard with disapproval and shook her head. "Demanded the 38 year-old foreigner who is not even a citizen yet to the 865 year-old Justice of the Supreme Unified Court of Thessia and one of the most powerful and highly regarded matriarchs in all of Thessia."

"It was your idea, Your Most High Ladyship Grand Poohbah, so it's on you or the young, stupid piece of pond scum in front of you will simply go have beers and cheeseburgers with her equally unimpressive friends after the bonding instead."

"Very well, since you asked so nicely, I will do my best, Saava steriménos." Alecta answered with a smile.

Shepard grinned back and had to stop herself from chuckling at Alecta's use of the asari word for a mentally challenged adolescent who is very young with a lot to learn.

"I have just one more question for Your Exalted One. Have you ever had a cheeseburger?"

"I've heard you go on about them before but no, I've never had the pleasure."

"Well, I brought you lunch. Open the bag. Inside is a delicious bacon cheeseburger with plenty of that disgusting eezo seasoning that you people like. I have this idea for how the older orphans can make some money for themselves and get job experience. I'd be willing to lend my name to a franchise of burger places on Thessia. I will even front the money to open them. The restaurants can be owned and operated by the workers and they can share all the profits after I get back the start-up money."

"That might work. Are you sure we asari will even like the sandwiches? What if the businesses fail?"

"They won't fail. But even if they do, I'll just be out the start-up money."

Alecta looked doubtful. "And you don't want a share of the profits?"

"No." Shepard shook her head. "The only thing I ask for is free burgers whenever I want."

"A strange request. I'll talk to some of the matriarchs in charge of orphans."

"Good. I'll leave you to it. Liara sent everyone some new pictures of the kids this morning if you haven't looked already."

"Until next time, Shepard."

Shepard got up and walked out of the office. When she was gone, Alecta opened the bag and took out the burger. The smell and her curiosity finally got the better of her and she took a bite. Pleased with the taste, she took another, bigger bite just as Shepard burst back through her door with a cocky grin on her face.

"Good stuff, am I right?"

Alecta was too busy chewing to answer so she just nodded with an annoyed look on her face.

"Enjoy your lunch, Grand Poohbah, and you've got a little juice running down your chin. You might want to take care of that before it falls on your expensive robe. That would be very undignified for such an exulted person such as yourself."

Shepard winked before leaving once again.

…

Shepard was standing in her office looking at a very annoyed looking krogan via vidcomm. Shepard was starting to feel annoyed as well. She let out a sigh before speaking.

"Did you even bother to read the invitation, Wrex? It reads that gifts are not only not required but will not be accepted. You presence is the gift. And we are footing the bill for everyone's stay on Thessia. It costs you nothing!"

"If this isn't a scam to get more wedding presents then why are you doing it? You and Pretty Blue are already married. I know, I was there. You threw cake at each other."

"I told you already. To make Liara happy, as a show of unity between the races and as a morale boost for the asari. Look, you don't have to come if you don't want to but Bakara has to come. I've gone to a lot of trouble to get the most influential matriarchs there so that they can meet her."

"In that case, I should go. I'm the head of Urdnot clan and de facto head of the krogan."

"Good! Then come. But Bakara absolutely has to come. The matriarchs will be impressed with her and when the krogan's nomination into the council is inevitably made, it will help to get the asari vote locked up."

"So, what you're saying is that the matriarchs will be more impressed with Bakara than with me? I'll have you know that with my smoldering good looks and wit, I've charmed more than a few asari out of their dresses over the years. Literally."

"I don't doubt it, Wrex but that's not the point. We are trying to show the matriarchs that the krogan are about more than fighting and breeding. You charming some matriarchs out of their dresses won't accomplish that. I think the majority of them will be very impressed by Bakara. She is one of them! She is a matriarch. She's just a krogan one. A few hours with her and she will win some hearts and change some minds. It will help, Wrex."

"Well, maybe you should talk to her directly on this one."

"Okay, fine. Put her on. Is she there with you?"

Wrex shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Well, not right now. She's staying with her clan sisters for a while."

It finally dawned on Shepard what might be happening and why Wrex was so grumpy.

"Trouble in paradise, Wrex?"

Wrex growled, a deep rumble coming from inside his chest.

"You don't know this but Bakara has a wicked temper, Shepard. She wants to bring back the Rite of Dukador and she wants us to go through the Rite as an example. She believes it will lead to a naturally stable krogan population increase rate."

"That's a good thing, Wrex. You always lead from the front. Besides, I already think of you guys as married."

"You don't understand, Shepard! The Rite is more than a union. It's basically an exclusive breeding contract. Since the end of the genophage, I've been very…active."

"Ah. So she wants you to stop having sex with other females. It could be tough to go cold turkey like that."

"No. I can have sex with other females still. I just can't have any more children with anyone else."

"She's letting you continue to have sex with other women?! So what's the problem? You already have hundreds of children. I think your line is safe."

"The problem is that krogan women can be sneaky, Shepard. Every female wants me to fertilize their eggs. I can't count on them to use birth control which means it will be up to me. I'll have to, you know, put something on it."

Shepard's life had taken some strange turns over the years. She never would have foreseen, growing up as an orphan in streets of New York City, that she would grow up to be a soldier and a hero to many. She never could have imagined that she would be married to a beautiful alien with three great kids living on a world thousands of light years from her planet of birth. Most especially, she never would have guessed that she would find herself talking about marriage and condom use with a krogan warlord and de facto leader of the krogan people. She waited a moment for the surreal feeling to pass before speaking again.

"We all must make sacrifices for the greater good, Wrex." She said it as solemnly as she could manage it.

"Arrrgggh. I just hate it, Shepard. It's like taking a shower with your armor on. It's like going into battle with a rifle that fires only blanks."

"While I can sympathize, Wrex, I think it is for the best. The greater good and all that."

"You would agree with Bakara. Females!"

….

Shepard was lying in bed reading a datapad when Liara came all but bouncing into their bedroom. She literally hopped on top of the bed smiling.

"I have wonderful news, Shepard! Do you remember how I finally located my old friend Letia T'sodri?"

Shepard nodded in response.

"Well, she is coming to our bonding! Isn't that exciting?"

Shepard smiled.

"That's great. I'm happy for you. I look forward to meeting her."

"Oh Shepard, I'm so excited to see her after all these years. She was my best friend growing up. We were almost inseparable for thirty years. We practically grew up together."

"Well then, I am very happy that you will be reunited. I can see how excited you are to see her again."

"Oh I am, Shepard. I'm looking forward to seeing all our friends again but I haven't seen Let in, Goddess, it must be over sixty years now. But she still sounds like good, old Let."

Shepard only smiled again at her bondmate's enthusiasm as she returned to her book. It was then that Liara reached over next to Shepard and touched the lights pad to shut off the lights. She then settled back over to her side of the bed but pushed herself against Shepard's body and began nibbling Shepard's neck.

"I don't know if you noticed but I was reading, Liara."

"So? You can read that later. Wouldn't you rather be doing other things right now?"

Liara kept nibbling on that especially sensitive spot on her neck until Shepard put her datapad on the table beside her and then pulled Liara up on top of her.

"Well, someone certainly is hot tonight. I wonder what brought this on so suddenly?"

"Do I need a reason to want to ravish my beautiful bondmate?"

Liara continued kissing her neck as Shepard slid her hands underneath Liara's shirt and around to her back, pulling her closer. It was then that a thought stopped Shepard cold and she removed her hands and touched the light pad beside her again so that she could look at Liara.

"Just how close were you two? Was she one of your special friends?"

Liara looked at her quizzically.

"Letia? I already told you Shepard. She was my best friend for over thirty years. My only friend for many of those years. We were very close."

"When were you close? How old were you?"

"We knew each other in secondary school mostly. I was almost twenty when we met but then our relationship just kind of petered out when I went away to Serrice."

"So, you knew each other as adolescents?"

"Yes…" Liara answered, still confused until it dawned on her why Shepard was suddenly concerned. _My silly, little human_. She smiled as she leaned over Shepard to turn the light off again. "And the answer to your next question is yes. She is one of two peers that I practiced the mating meld with."

Shepard reached over to turn the light on again.

"So she was one of your sex-play maidens?! Now I understand why you are so hot tonight. You're thinking about her!"

"That is so untrue, Shepard! One has nothing to do with the other. I've been 'hot' many times even before I heard from Letia."

"Okay. I want to know just how close you came to a full mating meld with this woman who will be at my bonding day. Has she ever seen you naked?"

"That's an even sillier question, Shepard. We are not humans. We are mono-gendered asari. It is not at all uncommon for close friends to see each other unclothed. In fact, in would be weird if too much was made of such a thing. How many Alliance personnel have seen you naked?"

"Irrelevant. I didn't have sex play with the marines I was naked with."

"No. You just had actual sex with some of them."

"Irrelevant. You are the only one who has seen me naked and with whom I engaged in any kind of sexual activity with who will be at our bonding. You know what? I've got a headache tonight."

"Do you want me to get you some medigel?"

"No Liara. That means that I won't be putting out tonight. There is only one way that you will get me to perform tonight and that's if you share your memories of your sex play sessions that you had with Letia. I want to know exactly what has you so hot in the biscuit. Do you remember what she looked like naked?"

Shepard was grinning from ear to ear while Liara got a look of disgust on her face.

"I'm not going to do that, Shepard. Letia is very shy. Even more so than I am. I don't want you acting like a fool around her when you meet so that she gets uncomfortable. Besides, we were kids and we didn't know what we were doing. You will probably find it more humorous than titillating."

"Well, then just show me."

"No. I refuse. Suddenly, I have a headache."

Liara then slowly pulled her shirt off over her head. Shepard gulped when she saw that Liara wasn't wearing anything underneath. Shepard turned her head away to look at the wall, biting her lower lip. Liara then slowly straddled Shepard's hips and leaned forward over Shepard until her breasts were almost touching Shepard.

"I'm also suddenly very hot and I'm tired. Let me just turn off this light so we can get some sleep if you are not interested in joining."

"You do have a light pad over on your side of the bed, Liara. This is abuse."

Liara laughed. As she leaned over Shepard even further to reach out for the light pad, she lowered herself until she was sitting on Shepard's hips. Before her hand reached the light, she stopped and rolled her hips, rubbing herself against Shepard.

"You know, that feels pretty good. Maybe I don't need you after all. I don't want to be abusive."

Shepard kept her head turned towards the wall and she had to clutch the sheets beneath her to keep her hands from coming up and grabbing Liara's hips.

"This is the very definition of abusive. You are using me like an inanimate sex toy."

Liara quickly hopped off Shepard, moved to her own side of the bed and sat up against the head board, her knees bend and her legs spread.

"Perhaps you're right. I'll just have to take care of this little problem myself."

Liara began running her hands all over her body as Shepard struggled to keep her head turned.

"I thought you were going to turn the light off? Wasn't that the point to all that stretching and undulating on top of me?"

"I changed my mind. I need to be able to see what I'm doing."

"You mean so that I see what you're doing. It's your body, Liara. You don't need to see to know exactly where everything is."

Shepard defiantly reached over to slam the light off, determined to ignore what was happening beside her and to will herself to sleep. Liara started sighing and moaning softly beside her. It was then that Liara's scent hit her nose.

"This feels so good. I wish I brought a towel. This could get…."

Before she could finish her sentence, Liara felt her ankles being grabbed and she then felt herself being pulled further down the bed. She smiled in victory as she felt Shepard fall on top of her, pinning her arms over her head. _Too easy,_ Liara thought before rational thought started to leave her as Shepard began sucking and biting at her neck.


	78. Chapter 78

Shepard was standing in front of the vid screen, her arms crossed in front of her chest, her face pouting. In front of her was the holographic image of perhaps her best friend in the galaxy, besides Liara of course.

"Okay. I get it. You and Tali can't come to the bonding and you can't tell me why except to say that you have a good reason. Or maybe you just don't love me anymore. Is it money? We already said that we'd pay for everything for whoever graces us with their presence."

"Funny you should mention money. The weirdest thing happened, Shepard. Both Tali and I found millions more credits in our accounts then should be there."

"That is weird", Shepard said trying to sound surprised.

"You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

"How the hell would I know? Do I look like a banker to you?"

"Ah huh, I believe you."

"You're just trying to change the subject, Big Bird. The real question is why are our best friends breaking our little hearts by ditching our bonding?"

Garrus sighed. "We were already at your wedding. You know? The real one where you actually already got married? We have a very good reason for not being there, Shepard. I know you will understand. I've just been sworn to secrecy. Tali wants to be the one to tell everyone."

"You're getting married?! If you are, we will reschedule. There's no way we're missing that."

"As I said, I can neither confirm nor deny any rumors."

Shepard gasped.

"Tali's pregnant?!"

"What part of 'I can't tell you' is not translating correctly?"

"Shit Garrus. It has to be something big like that or you'd just tell me. If you can't tell me then put Tali on so that she can tell me."

"She's not here. She's at the Conclave building all day. I have no doubt she has already made the call to Li so you can get it out of her when she gets home."

"I'm not expecting her home until tomorrow. She's in Serrice at some boring 'historical preservation' conference or something. And she's been in meetings all day so I doubt Tali was able to speak to her. Just tell me Garrus."

"It's not like I don't want to tell you. I just promised Tali. And frankly, with the hormones, she is way scarier then you've ever been."

"Hormones? Tali is pregnant!"

Garrus crossed his arms. "I didn't say that."

"Okay. You can either tell me or I call Tali and tell her that you told me."

"Seriously Shepard? After all those times I had your back and saved your ass? Betrayal?"

"I think I've still ahead of you on the 'ass saving' count. And it's not betrayal because I'm giving you the chance to prevent it by simply spilling the beans."

"So it's blackmail then?"

"Of course not. It would be blackmail if I threatened to tell Tali about that time that you got sloppy drunk and started hitting on every quarian that walked into that bar on the Citadel. That's when I first figured you had a little of the 'Suit Fever' thing going on."

Garrus sighed again. "This from someone who's had 'Blue Fever' for just about as long as I've known her. I won't be bullied into telling you."

"Okay. That's fine. I thought we were friends but I get it. People grow apart."

Shepard tried pouting again.

"I really need to get more guy friends. Guy friends don't pout or pressure you to talk about your personal life."

"I can be a better guy friend than any guy out there. But right now, I need to play the chick card because I need to know, Garrus. She's pregnant, isn't she? Did you get a quarian donor or have they found a way to combine quarian and turian DNA?"

"If I tell you, you can't tell anyone else. Not even Liara until Tali gets a chance to tell her."

"Fine, fine. Just tell me already!"

"Tali's not pregnant yet but there is a crazy salarian who discovered a way to combine the DNA to produce a child who will be a normal quarian in almost every way except with some turian DNA mixed it. This crazy salarian says that by combining in some turian DNA with our more robust immune systems, these quarian children will be able to live without suits. We've agreed to be among the first to have a child this way. This salarian thinks that within a few generations, the quarian's weakened immune systems might be completed eradicated. The child would also inherit other traits from the father as part of the process."

"Wow! That's great, Garrus. Congratulations. Are you nervous?"

"Now why would I be nervous? I will become a father for the very first time using medical advances that haven't even been tested on sapient beings yet."

"Yeah, that is pretty crazy."

"It gets crazier. Guess the name of this crazy salarian geneticist."

"I have no idea. It sounds like something that Mordin would have come up with."

"Right you are. His name is Solus. Turnan Solus, brilliant nephew of the late, great Mordin Solus. "

"I remember Mordin talking about him. That makes me feel better. Mordin talked about how bright he was. If anyone can figure it out, it's him."

"I thought the same thing which was the only reason I agreed."

"That's just fantastic, Garrus. It's about time Jacey and Bene and Edi had a little quarian or turian cousin to play with. But if she's not pregnant already, why can't you come to the Bonding?"

"Tali can't wear her suit for at least a month before becoming pregnant to build up her immune system and she can only do that if she stays on Rannoch. And then during the pregnancy, we have to remain on Rannoch to avoid Tali and the baby being exposed to foreign bugs so we are pretty much stuck on Rannoch for the next year or so."

"I'm sure you can get a job consulting with their military or something. Or you can just use that mystery money and retire."

"I'm a turian, Shepard. We don't do well with retirement. It's the whole 'duty is all' thing. I actually already have a job."

Shepard laughed. "I already knew you were lying to me about that tropical beach retirement speech back during the War. At least Rannoch does have some nice beaches. What are you going to do so that Tali doesn't go insane with your presence all that time?"

"If I tell you, do you promise not to laugh?"

"Of course. I would never laugh at Big Bird."

"I am the new turian interim ambassador to Rannoch."

Shepard laughed. "That's rich. You do realize that much like CSec, there are a 1001 rules that govern diplomacy and that the whole point to being an ambassador is to prevent warfare? It's all about compromise and just about everything is shades of grey."

"Right. And apparently the Hierarchy seems to think that I'm mature and patient enough for the job."

"And what do you think?"

"I think that I'm not that same young Hothead that you met on the Citadel all those years ago. And I think I really love Tali and have developed a real respect for the quarian people. And I have a lot of experience negotiating to get things done both during and after the War. In short…" Garrus trailed off.

"In other words, you have no fucking clue whether you're going to be able to pull it off or how and you're just kind of winging it." Shepard chuckled again. "That really is just like old times when you think about it."

"Absolutely. Except that my favorite part was often the shooting and I won't be able to do that here. Speaking of which, Tali and I wanted to invite you out to Rannoch before we are forced into lock-down. You will be able to visit after the baby is born but before that, it will just be too risky to expose Tali to foreign pathogens and we wanted to see you guys again. I know that the Bonding is only a few weeks away and that you are probably…"

"We'll be there. Will Tali really be out of her suit? Do you want us to leave the kids at home? What does that have to do with shooting?"

"You'll see when you get here. Yes, Tali will be living without her suit for the next few weeks. And yes, I find it disturbing that you are so interested in seeing the love of my life and future mother of my child out of her suit. Finally, we want you to bring the kids. We're dying to see Bene and Edi again and to meet Jacey in person."

"Sounds great, Garrus. I usually have to drag Li away from work to go on a vacation but I'm sure that won't be needed here."

"Good. I gotta go but remember, you didn't hear any of this from me. When Liara comes home tomorrow, you have to act surprised when she tells you all this after talking to Tali."

About an hour later, Liara called from Serrice. Shepard put on her best neutral face before accepting the call.

"Hi honey. How goes it in Serrice?"

"Very well, I think. We have finalized the new procedures regarding the preservation of antiquities and I should be home on time tomorrow."

"Glad to hear it. We've missed you."

Liara smiled. "And I've missed you. How are the girls?"

"Good. Their grandfather took them over to the house to play in that huge yard of hers for a bit. You can call back in a couple hours and they should be back."

"I'll call back later tonight before they go to bed. I also need to call Tali before too long. She's left several messages for me. I hope everything is alright."

"I'm sure she just wants to say hi."

Liara examined Shepard's face and tilted her head.

"Why do you look like that?", Liara asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"You have that look on your face that you get right before you are going to try to surprise me with something."

"You're imagining things. There's no look on my face."

"There is definitely a look on your face. I'm not hanging up until you tell me what's going on."

Shepard couldn't keep the excited grin off her face.

"Okay, I'll tell you but you have to promise to not tell anyone else. And when you talk to Tali, you have to act surprised."

About two hours after Garrus got off the QEC with Shepard, he received a text message from James Vega which read: 'Heard about you and Sparks having a baby. Congrats Big Bird'. Garrus knew that James was on Thessia teaching at the military academy there. Maybe he just happened to overhear it somehow when he was telling Shepard?

"Spirits!"

Garrus hastily texted back a thank you with a plea to keep it quiet. Another ten minutes later, Garrus received another message. This one was from Wrex: 'About time you two popped one out. Say congratulations to Tali for me. Bakara says congratulations too.' Garrus sent another message asking for his krogan friend's discretion. About twenty minutes later, he received a message from Joker and he knew that there was no stopping the flood. The bridge of the Normandy had long been the place where secrets went to die and be spread widely throughout the galaxy. Garrus feared that instead of his love making him a father for the first time, she would make him incapable of fatherhood instead. He scrambled to order a nice dinner from Tali's favorite restaurant and a big bunch of her favorite flowers.

….

A few days later, Liara and Shepard told the girls about Tali's upcoming pregnancy and their upcoming impromptu trip to Rannoch. When the girls stopped their screaming, whooping and running around in celebration of the news, they sat them back down again and asked if they had any questions. It was then that Shepard heard the question that made her heart stop and her brain freeze. Of course, it was the oldest and most curious of the three, Jacey, who asked it.

"Tali is going to have a baby but where do babies come from? How do they get here?"

She and Liara had discussed how they would handle this inevitable question beforehand and Liara had insisted that they answer it truthfully, in an age appropriate way, of course, instead of Shepard's preferred method of telling them that all babies came from large, leggy birds or were found in patches of leafy, green vegetables. Liara also insisted on using the correct terminology instead of cute, non-threatening words like hoo hoo or ding ding.

"Well, that's a good question, Jacey. How babies are born depends on the species that they come from. For example, asari give birth to babies that are already alive and…

Shepard found herself drifting out of her body as Liara continued. Until four years ago, Shepard had exactly zero experience caring for children. Growing up in a street gang, she would concern herself with making sure the younger kids were not abused and that they got food when she was able but she had never even had a single instance of babysitting. Despite this, Shepard thought that she did a pretty good job. Despite her complete lack of knowledge or experience coming in, she had willingly and enthusiastically done it all. She had changed diapers. She had wiped asses and noses. She had applied medigel and kissed boo boos better. She had cooked for and she had cleaned up after, her children. She had, at various times, been puked on by all three of her daughters.

She had done it all and had never shirked from her duty as a father or a co-parent. As she come back into her body to hear Liara say something about babies living inside their mother's uteruses until they were born by coming down their mother's vagina and out their mother's vulva, Shepard came to a decision. I'm out. There are just some things that she could not be expected to do.

As Liara continued to speak but watched her with a look of first shock and disbelief and then anger, Shepard stood up and left the room. Shepard then went into the kitchen, grabbed a beer, went into her office and locked the door. She ignored the text messages received from Liara: 'where did you go?' 'You are a complete coward!', put her feet up and turned on a very loud vid featuring lots of gunfire and explosions.

…

After the Shepard-T'Soni family reached Rannoch about a week later, they were on their third decontamination procedure when the kids started getting more than a little antsy. The first one was after their shuttle landed, the second when they left the space port and the third, hopefully final decon, was in the anteroom to Garrus and Tali's house.

"Now remember, girls, your Aunt Tali will not be wearing her suit so don't get too close. If you sneeze or cough on her, she could become seriously ill."

Benezia and Edi were too busy running circles around everyone in the small room to hear until Shepard put her arms down to scoop up first Edi and then Benezia. Shepard then spoke to the girls perched on each hip.

"Did you two monkeys even hear what your mother just said?"

"Yes Daddy!" Benezia responded enthusiastically. "When are we done with all this decon crap?"

"You aren't supposed to say things like that, Bene. Don't say crap."

"You and grandpa say crap all the time. But then sometimes you say shit."

Shepard was just about to reprimand her daughter for swearing when the VI voice came on telling them that the cycle was over and the doors to the house opened to reveal a smiling, unsuited Tali. It was Liara who actually squealed and then went running in to hug Tali but she stopped short, remembering her own advice to her daughters. Tali laughed and closed the distance between them to envelope Liara in a tight hug.

"It's alright Liara. I don't think a hug will kill me. I've waited too long to be able to do this without that damn suit on. Just keep that germy asari mouth away from me."

Liara laughed and pulled back from Tali to get a better look at her friend.

"The pictures don't do you justice, Tali. You are so beautiful."

"And what would you have done if I were hideous?"

"You will always be beautiful to me, Tali'Zorah."

Shepard stepped into the house still carrying Benezia and Edi with the shy Jacey trailing behind.

"You're gorgeous Tali. And look at your hair. It's beautiful." Shepard smiled and leaned in closer to Tali as she whispered conspiratorially, "We should run away together and leave these two hairless freaks behind."

Tali laughed before shaking her head.

"You talk a big game, Shepard, but I know it would just end up like that time when Liara wouldn't take you back immediately after you came back to life. 'Liara doesn't love me anymore! Why doesn't Liara love me anymore?' while crying in your drink."

"That didn't happen and you know it! Besides, you weren't even there so how would you know?"

"Aha! How could I not be there for something that never happened?"

The whole time that Shepard was speaking with Tali, Benezia and Edi remained silent. Shepard stepped closer to Tali. Benezia was staring at the woman in front of her with a look of suspicion. Finally, it was Edi who spoke while pointing her finger at Tali.

"Who that?"

"We told you girls that your Aunt Tali would not be wearing her suit. That is your Auntie Tali!" Shepard answered.

"Don't you want to say hi to your Aunt Tali, sweetheart?", Tali asked Benezia. Hearing the voice directed at her, Benezia finally seemed to realize that the strange woman in front of her really was her beloved aunt. She smiled and then before Shepard realized what was happening, Benezia lurched forward from her father, threw her arms around Tali's neck and gave her a big kiss on the mouth.

"No Bene! Oh shit. I'm sorry about that, Tali. Do you need to go take something?"

Tali took Benezia out of her father's arms and gave her a big hug.

"That will probably make me sick but it's totally worth it." Tali put Benezia on her hip and reached out her other arm to Edi. "Do you have a hug for your Aunt Tali too, Edi?"

Edi smiled and lurched into Tali as well. Liara then came forward again taking Jacey with her.

"Jacey, this is your Aunt Tali. You know her from talking on the QEC."

Jacey smiled shyly.

"Nice to meet you, Tali."

"And it is very nice you meet you in person, Jacey." Tali put down Benezia and Edi and gave Jacey a hug as well.

"So, we've seen the Beauty, where's the Beast?"

Almost on cue, Garrus came in from the next room carrying a couple boxes and a bag.

"The 'Beast' has presents for everyone. Except for Shepard now because she was rude and no doubt, has already flirted with the soon-to-be mother of my child."

"You know her too well, Garrus", Liara said smiling as she wrapped Garrus in a hug.

Both Benezia and Edi ran to Garrus at top speed and jumped on top of him as he knelt down to give them a hug. Garrus laughed as his 'nieces' piled on him. Jacey hung back but when she saw how much fun her sisters were having playing 'pile on the turian', she jumped on him as well, laughing as she did.

"Spirits! I've forgotten how energetic you girls can be. I surrender!"

The girls just continued to jump on Garrus, giggling the entire time.

"Okay. You can either continue jumping on your Uncle Garrus or you can go look in that bag to see the presents that we got for you."

The sentence uttered by Garrus took a second to sink into the young minds of the T'Soni girls but when it did, they immediately got off of Garrus and ran over to the bag, pouncing on it instead. Small hands impatiently opened the bag and pulled out the fluffy contents, three purple stuffed animals. Benezia held up her prize.

"It's so cute! What is it?"

"That is a Feeru. A small, furry animal native to Rannoch. I was thinking while you girls were here, we could go to the animal preserve so that you girls can hopefully see a real one in person." Tali responded.

"Yes!", all three girls proclaimed.

"The geth were remarkably good stewards to Rannoch while they were here. The numbers of native animals have actually increased since we left." Tali said it to Liara, knowing she would be interested in such things but she noticed that Shepard's whole body tightened at the mention of the geth. Tali spoke again. "Why don't you girls go in the living room? I have the latest version of World Explorer all set up and ready to play on the big screen. Garrus will show you where."

The girls ran out of the room following Garrus, taking their newest prizes with them. Tali then went over to Shepard and pulled her into a tight hug.

"I never got to say it in person, Shepard, but thank you for making the decision that you did. You had no choice so there is nothing for you to feel guilty about even though I know that you do."

Shepard released Tali and rolled her eyes. "I'm not made of glass, Tali. I'm not going to break apart every time someone mentions the geth."

"I know you, Shepard and I know it still weighs on you. Don't try to deny it. But you did nothing wrong. I'm just glad it was you up on that Citadel. Someone else might have gotten it wrong or they might have been too afraid to act."

"Yeah. Lucky me."

Tali laughed.

"I have something that will make you feel better. I've signed us all up for a few rounds at the arena while you are here. I've got to have fun while I still can."

"Is it televised?", Shepard asked.

"Yes. I promised Auntie Raan that we'd do it while you are here and we are all together again."

Both Shepard and Liara groaned.

"Not more PR crap. You have no idea how much PR crap we have had to do in the last few months, Tali. It's gotten to the point where I feel like just stripping naked and starting to bark like a dog on camera just so people will think that I've finally lost it for good and will leave me the fuck alone."

"It's for charity, Shepard. It's basically a pay per view extranet show that the Conclave hopes will raise millions to help rebuild Rannoch and rebuild our fleets. You know that most of our ships are over 300 years old. And neither you nor Liara will have to say anything. All you've got to do is shoot and kill fake enemies. It will be fun."

Shepard only rolled her eyes as Garrus came in.

"I've got something for you that will make the bitter pill go down easier, Shepard."

"And I've got something for you, Liara.", Tali said.

Tali handed Liara the small box that Garrus had carried in earlier while Garrus handed the large box to Shepard. Liara opened her box to reveal purple and gold cloth. Liara felt the soft fabric and then pulled it out of the box. It was a short, above the knee dress.

"It's beautiful, Tali! Thank you!"

"It's our wedding gift to you Liara. It is a traditional quarian dress. Think about it. For the first time in hundreds of years, we need dresses and clothing designers again and that is thanks in large part to you two. Of course, with those weird legs that you have, it won't look quite as nice as it would on a quarian."

Liara laughed and then hugged Tali.

"I will wear it proudly to our bonding reception. That way, it will be like you two are there with us in spirit."

Shepard held the box that Garrus had given her and weighed it with her hands before looking at Garrus.

"It feels heavy so I'm hopeful that this isn't a dress?"

Garrus laughed.

"Much, much better Shepard. One of the perks of being a high-ranking member of the turian military is that I get access to all the newest toys. Even Alliance gear. Open it up."

Shepard put the long box on the floor and opened the top. She gasped as she pulled the weapon out of its box and held it up.

"I give you the new and improved Typhoon. Built-in stabilizer mods to reduce spread and increase accuracy. Increased magazine with the ability to fire 200 rounds with a single thermal clip and auto loading of up to 5 clips for a total of 1000 rounds of firepower without stopping to reload. With a gun like this even you might be able to hit something, Shepard."

Shepard looked in awe before she threw her arms around Garrus. She spoke with her voice full of real emotion.

"It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen Garrus. Thank you. It's the best gift I've ever gotten."

"Really Shepard? The most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The best gift you've ever received? When I bore you two children and found you a third?" Liara crossed her arms over her chest.

Shepard stepped back from Garrus but continued to look at him earnestly.

"Forget what I said to Tali earlier. You are the only one who truly understands me. We should run off together instead. Just the two of us and our big guns."

Garrus burst out laughing while Liara and Tali rolled their eyes.

"I think it best to go with what you know, Shepard. It's hard to teach an old varren new tricks."

"Okay. If you think it best but I get to keep my new, big gun right?"

"You don't really think they are going to allow you to return to Thessia with a machine gun, do you Shepard?" Liara asked. "Besides, you negotiate contracts and treaties and bake cookies. What could you possibly need a gun like that for?"

"My permit to carry doesn't list any restrictions. I need this gun for self-defense."

"You need a gun that fires 600 rounds per minute and fires 1000 rounds before reload for self-defense?!"

Without the slightest bit of irony, Shepard answered sincerely, "Yes."


	79. Chapter 79

Jeffrey Moreau stood outside the door to the T'Soni-Shepard residence, shifting from one foot to the other. He had stood there for the last 20 minutes, debating with himself and it was starting to get uncomfortable standing so long. He had been so sure on his course of action when he left the Normandy early to come to Thessia. Shepard's and Liara's bonding day was still a week away and the rest of the Normandy crew who were attending were not expected on Thessia for days but Jeff figured he'd come early, clear the air, maybe spend the rest of the time looking at blue babes. Now that he was a door bell away from the plan, however, it just seemed foolish. Maybe it would have been better, less uncomfortable for both of them, if there were other people around as a distraction. Of course, with the bonding a week away, maybe Shepard would be too busy to even talk about such things. It was encouraging that he actually got through the building's security to get to their front door which meant that Shepard wasn't so pissed at him that he was taken off the 'invited guests' list.

It was too late now. He was here. He already left the Normandy early and people knew where he was headed and why. If he still hadn't talked with Shepard by the time Kaidan or Sam got there, he'd never hear the end of it. He hit the pressure plate and the door automatically chimed. After a minute or two, the door opened.

_Oh shit, Liara_, Jeff thought. In his mind, it was always Shepard who opened the door. He watched as Liara's expression turned from shock to an icy neutrality. He stood up straighter and cleared his throat. _Oh shit, what if Shepard wasn't even home_? The thought of waiting for Shepard with a very pissed-off-at-him Liara made him want to turn around and run or at least hobble away quickly.

"Hi Liara. I'm, ah, I need to talk to Shepard."

"Why?" Liara's icy expression did not change one bit and Joker felt a chill run down his spine at the way that she said that one word. Joker had always thought that Liara was way scarier than Shepard even though he knew exactly what Shepard could do. He remembered sometimes watching Shepard's helmet cam while she was ground-side and the Normandy was waiting in stealth with nothing to do but wait for a mission to be completed. He had watched Shepard coolly and methodically eliminate hundreds of enemies before. Despite this, he had never once felt the slightest bit of fear around Shepard. Even when he had been screaming at her not too long ago, basically calling her a coward and a murderer, it never crossed his mind that she would hurt him, no matter what he said or did.

Liara was a different story. There was his friend Liara who was still a little shy and sweet and who more than anyone else made sure he did not fall into the abyss of self-pity right after Edi died. She was a regular visitor up to the dark cockpit in those weeks after the War when Joker had had little to do but run systems checks and think about all he had lost. The pain had lessened slightly once they were able to get the ship back into the black again but those first few weeks had been pure hell and Liara, despite her own worry that Shepard had been lost to her forever, had been a constant presence even when he didn't want her to be. Now for the first time, he was faced with the other Liara who had been born after the first Normandy was destroyed, after losing not only her mother but then Shepard, in no small part because of his own selfish actions. He thought about whether Liara could or would hurt him or not. To protect Shepard? He didn't have a single doubt.

"Why are you here, Mr. Moreau?" Liara repeated her question, her cold eyes never leaving his.

"I need to talk to Shepard." Joker looked down, breaking eye contact and then looked up again. "Come on, Liara. Please."

Jeff tried not to squirm as Liara just continued to look at him for what seemed like forever before finally standing aside and gesturing him in.

"I'll go get her", was all that Liara said before leaving the room.

After Liara told Shepard that Jeff was there, Liara had to physically restrain Benezia from following her father downstairs to meet him. Benezia didn't understand why she could not just go say hi to her Uncle Joker. She also secretly hoped that he brought her a present as all her multi-species aunts and uncles seemed to do when they visited.

"I just need to go talk to Uncle Joker alone for a bit, Peanut." Shepard then looked at Liara. "I'll be fine, Liara. I'm over it."

Shepard walked into the living room determined to keep her expression neutral no matter what he said to her. He had not responded to their bonding invitation and she expected him to just not come. She doubted he would come all this way early just to tell her off again but if he did, so be it. She would not allow other people's judgments to bother her. She had enough to worry about just trying to not judge herself too harshly.

"Hello Joker. Do you want to go to my office?"

"Hi Shepard. Yeah, sure, let's do that."

When they got to the office, Shepard offered him the chair in front of her desk as she leaned back against her desk. They sat in silence for a few moments until Joker let out a deep breath.

"I just wanted to apologize in person, Shepard. I was wrong to say those things to you. I was wrong to judge your decision when I wasn't there."

Shepard smiled. Not a real smile but more a forced, awkward smile.

"Don't worry about it, Joker. It's over. We never have to talk about it again."

"That's not all I had to say."

"That's all you have to say. It's over. I hope we can just move on from this."

"No, Shepard. Just let me say this. You know when I asked you that question? About whether you would have made the same decision if it were Liara instead of Edi who would be the collateral damage?" Joker stopped for a moment to gather his thoughts. "I realized that was the wrong damn question. What I should have asked is what would Edi have done? I thought a lot about it, Shepard. I like to think that Edi truly cared for me in her way. Or that I 'fulfilled priorities' for her that led to 'positive feedback' or however she would have phrased it. But I was not her role model. I was not the person she looked to when she was deciding who she wanted to be and how she wanted to live. That was you."

Shepard shook her head and started to speak when Joker interrupted her.

"No. Let me say my peace. You were her role model. She, like you, saw the reapers as monsters. She said herself that she would risk 'non-functionality' to stop them just like you risked death so many times. What she valued the most towards the end was her ability to make her own decisions and to have the freedom to do so. She got that from you. You encouraged her to think for herself. You encouraged her to find out for herself what she wanted and what her own priorities were. What that thing wanted you to do, to save Edi and to save the geth, was to take away that freedom from everyone. That thing wanted you force everyone to become something else in the name of 'saving' them. You didn't buy it and neither would Edi. Just like you were willing to die to destroy the monsters and give everyone their freedom back, she would have done the same damn thing."

Shepard was silent for a long moment, looking down, seemingly deep in thought before a smile broke out on her face, a real one this time. Then she let out a little chuckle.

"I remember one time, I had just gotten back from a long, brutal mission and Edi was there pestering me with all these deep, philosophical questions. The kind that we humans just don't think about in our day to day. Hell, the kind that most of us don't think about much at all. And she just keep going on until I said something like 'I'm just a dumb organic, Edi. Most of our processors are at full capacity just trying to keep ourselves feed and clothed and alive.' And she made this little sound. I swear I thought it was a laugh. A real laugh like she found it genuinely funny. Not like she was faking it. More than that, I felt genuine, I don't know, affection coming from her. Like she was just another friend that I was talking to. I know that the engineers would say that that was just her programming and that those responses were simulated to make us organics feel better but I'm not so sure." Shepard let out another chuckle. "Of course, she then made a joke about how limited we organics were and how it was her duty as a superior being to take over the galaxy one day once the reapers were dealt with."

Joker chuckled as well.

"Yeah, she did get pretty good at telling jokes but she was still learning when it was appropriate to joke around and when it wasn't."

"Hah! She totally learned the inappropriate joking thing from you."

Joker chuckled again.

"When did I ever make an ill-timed joke?"

"The better question would be 'when did you ever make a well-timed joke'? So, Joker. Are you staying for the bonding? You don't have to but we'd be honored if you wanted to stick around."

"I was thinking about it but I didn't want to assume anything. I'm not so sure that Liara was so thrilled to see me."

"She loves you, Joker. Don't take whatever she said too seriously. You know how she can be a little protective of me."

"Just a little. She didn't seem very happy to see me."

"She'll get over it. As a matter of fact, she will insist that you stay here until the bonding."

Joker held up his hand and grinned. "No thanks. I already got a hotel room. James warned me that if I stayed here, I might get roped into babysitting. If James was worn out after watching your little darlings, I'll probably need to be hospitalized. Besides, I'm here to gawk at blue babes not look after blue babies."

Shepard chuckled.

"Those are my daughters you're talking about. Bene is already waiting to see her Uncle Jeff again and you still haven't met Edi's namesake in person. Stay for dinner, anyway."

"I don't want to impose."

"You never had any problems imposing before. Come on. I'll speak to Li. And if you want to get in her good graces again, just ask her to give you a tour of the Guildhall while you're on Thessia."

"But haven't I suffered enough? Alright, alright. I have to say hi to Bene and Edi while I'm here. And I don't think I've talked to…"

"Jacey. But Jacey's back on Chroma visiting. She won't be back until the bonding."

"So, tell me the truth, Shepard. Who really wrote that book of yours?"

"I did. Are you trying to say that you don't think I'm capable of writing such a great book?"

"It has 150 pages of citations."

"So, I can research! I can write those little numbers after sentences and then put together the…that thing that is in the back of books."

Jeff laughed. "It's called a bibliography and that's what I thought."

"Well, I had to let Liara help. She lives for that shit!" Shepard protested.

Twenty minutes later, Jeff was sitting with the T'Soni girls on the couch in the living room, telling them tales of the woman that Edi was named after. Shepard looked on as Liara prepared that night's dinner in the kitchen.

"And she was funny too. It took her some time but she learned to joke around with everyone until she got it right and people used to laugh their…butts off at some of the things that she said. Now, I don't want to brag but besides being the best pilot in the galaxy, I'm pretty good at telling jokes myself. I can teach you to drive, Edi, when you're older because you do not want your father teaching you. Trust me on this. And I'll teach you how to tell a good joke."

Edi, sitting in her Uncle Joker's lap just smiled up at him, looking adorable. Benezia came up to her Uncle Joker all excited. She wasn't about to let Edi get all the attention.

"I got a joke."

"That's great, Bene. Lay it on me!"

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Venezia."

Jeff smiled at Benezia and glanced up at Shepard.

"Venezia who?"

"Venezia T'Doni. Now let me in!"

Jeff looked at Benezia, waiting to see if there was any more to it while she burst out in frenzied laughter.

"Yeah, she's still trying to learn the whole joking thing." Shepard said with a smirk on her face.

Joker couldn't help but chuckle a little as the joke was so bad, it was actually funny. Joker looked at Shepard.

"I'm just glad she got your sense of humor. Liara is good at a lot of things but..."

"I heard that, Mr. Moreau!" Liara called in from the kitchen. Despite the use of his last name, her voice was now full of warmth, much to Joker's relief.

"Hey Liara, I was really hoping you would give me a tour of the Guildhall while I'm here." Jeff called back to her.

"You're just trying to butter me up. Just for that, I'm giving you the full tour!" Liara yelled back.

Joker looked at the smirking Shepard and groaned. He then turned his attention back to Benezia.

"Okay. Okay. That was pretty good. We can work with that. Now, Benezia, take it from your Uncle Joker. Humor is all about timing. Let me try one...Okay, Do you know your numbers?"

Benezia looked proud as she started chanting numbers.

"One, two, three, four..."

"Okay, very good Bene. Are you ready for the joke?"

Benezia nodded.

"Why is 6 afraid of 7?"

Benezia thought about it for a moment and then shook her head.

"Because 7,8,9"

Benezia looked at Joker with a confused look on her face until finally, she collapsed in laughter. Edi had no idea what was said but she started giggling and kicking in Jeff's lap too as she watched the other two laughing.

Shepard left the room to go get Jeff a drink as he entertained his two 'nieces' with some of the best jokes in the universe for the pre-school set. It wasn't perfect and she knew that he was not completely over his anger with her but it was a start.


	80. Chapter 80

Shepard and Liara were trying to continue to smile as the celebrity reporter continued to ask them inane questions about their upcoming bonding. Liara became particularly annoyed when the reporter kept asking questions about how they first met. 'Yes, Shepard did save me." "Yes, I did get into a bit of trouble." "Yes, I am lucky that she came along." "Yes, she is very brave." Liara got a small reprieve when the reporter excused herself to go get some of her notes.

"Why is it that everyone wants to ask me about how we met and how foolish I had been to lock myself in that prothean security device instead focusing on the very equal and productive partnership that we developed after that?"

Shepard chuckled lightly. "It makes for a good story. The dashing Commander comes along and saves the damsel in distress. They fall in love and get married. What could be more romantic then that?"

"You only think that because you're the dashing Commander while I was the idiot damsel."

"Okay, you know what question comes next. Before she comes back, we have to get our stories straight about where our first date was."

"Who cares? Let's just make something up."

"But the girls might see this someday. We need to have a good story for them. We can't just say that we worked together, felt an attraction, had sex, then I died and we hooked up again after I came back, then you disappeared and came back with a kid and then we decided to get married. All without really dating. It just seems so unromantic."

"But we can just say it was like love at first sight. We got swept up in our love for each other and dating wasn't really necessary."

"Liara, do you really want our kids to know that we had sex without so much as a first date? I sure as hell don't want any of them melding with anyone without dating first. Without dating for a long time! Say a hundred years or so."

"Then we have to make something up. We never had a first date."

"You're thinking too literally. We've had plenty of dates. A date doesn't have to be the stereotypical dinner and dancing or a vid."

"Let's see. When we first met, we ate together in the mess on the original Normandy a lot. We could call one of those times our first date."

"Yeah but there were mostly always other people around so we can't really call it a date."

"Well, we had many long conversations when you came to see me in my little room behind the Med Bay. Do you remember those?"

Shepard smiled at Liara and reached out to hold her hand. "I do remember those times fondly but we can't use them as a first date because it makes me seem like a Creepy Commander who was invading her subordinate's room just trolling for sex."

Liara laughed. "But you were a Creepy Commander trolling me for sex."

"Yeah, but not just!"

Shepard was just about to palm the pressure plate to their front door when she pulled her hand back and cocked her head towards the door instead. She could hear the vid screen through the door and she knew that they had shut it off before leaving the apartment. Liara grew impatient behind her. It was only a few days before the bonding ceremony and they had been running all over Armali attending to last minute details. They were all exhausted and the kids were all out for the count: Edi in her stroller while Jacey was asleep in Shepard's arms and Benezia was draped over her mother's shoulder.

"What is it, Shepard?"

"I don't know. I hear noises coming from inside." Shepard whispered before she shifted Jacey slightly and then brought up her omnitool to activate one of the security cameras that they had in the apartment. She checked the one in the living room and found a strange asari on their couch. The woman appeared to be sound asleep with her head tipped back on the arm of the couch and her legs spread out along its length.

"Curious."

Shepard checked all the other cameras and saw nothing unusual in all the other rooms. The locks on their doors had the highest level encryption available outside the military and it would take a thief of extraordinary ability to break in.

"What is it, Shepard?", Liara asked again, her voice more annoyed.

"We have a visitor." Shepard brought her arm up and showed the living room camera to Liara. "I need you to take the kids back downstairs and call the police while I take care of our guest."

Liara peered at the view from the camera, her eyes big and full of alarm until she looked closer and then sighed.

"No need for all that, Shepard. That's my sister Fabia. I recognize her from the photos Aethyta showed me. I can't believe that she is here now! I'm so tired and so not in the mood to meet anyone tonight."

"Are you sure it's her?"

Liara nodded her head and then shook her head in annoyance.

"Okay. Why don't we take the kids up to bed and then I'll go introduce myself. That will give you a chance to freshen up and prepare yourself."

Liara only nodded again before Shepard opened the door and then the family quietly walked into the apartment. Shepard squatted down to scoop Edi out of her stroller which was not an easy task with Jacey asleep in the other arm. Finally, Shepard managed it and she was able to stand to follow Liara up the stairs. They didn't even bother depositing each T'Soni girl in their own beds, instead depositing all of them in the big bed in Benezia's room, which is how they seemed to prefer to sleep anyway. After putting Edi safety between her older sisters, they shut off all the lights but the night light, activated the monitor VI and closed the door.

"How did she even get in here?", Liara asked.

"I don't know. If you want, we could just go to bed. Introduce ourselves in the morning?" Shepard asked the question hopefully.

"No. We should do it now." Liara sighed. "Let me go clean up a little and go put on something more comfortable. I'll meet you down there."

Shepard walked back down the stairs and stood in front of the woman on the couch. Shepard cleared her throat. No response. Shepard cleared her throat again, louder. Still no response.

"Excuse me, Fabia?"

Unbelievably, there was still no response. Shepard reached out a hand and gently shook one of her legs. Fabia startled, kicking out with her leg as biotics gathered around her left hand. Shepard jumped back and held up her hands.

"Relax! I just wanted to wake you up. Fabia, right? I'm Shepard."

The woman looked at her through foggy eyes for a moment before popping up and throwing her arms around the surprised Shepard.

"Shepard! You must be Shepard. I've heard so much about you. I mean, everyone has heard about you because you're Commander Shepard and everything but I mean, from my mother and from those letters that I got from Liara. Sorry I didn't write back to her. I just got distracted. I let myself in, I hope you don't mind. I went over my mother's house but she wasn't home but she gave me the codes to this place and I thought, why not go see my sister right now? Why not, you know? So, how are you?"

Shepard blinked. She had seen marines go from asleep to killing in seconds before but had never seen anyone whose mouth worked so fast just after waking up.

"I'm good. We just put the kids to bed. Liara will be down in a bit. It's…good that you were able to make it out for our bonding though we weren't expecting you quite this early. Aethyta said you wouldn't be here for a couple days."

"Yeah, I figured, might as well get to Thessia early. I was anxious to meet you both and all those kids."

Shepard smiled. "There's just three. And as I said, they are sleeping so you won't be able to meet them today, I'm afraid."

"Three? I thought there were only two? Did Liara have another one?!"

"No. We adopted an orphan about a year back."

"Oh right, right. I forgot about that. Well, I'm sure they are all just adorable. I look forward to meeting them."

The silence stretched out a moment too long for comfort before Shepard thought of something else to say.

"Can I get you something? A drink or something to eat?" Shepard noticed the glasses and dirty plates on the coffee table in front of the couch and she corrected herself. "Can I get you anything else?"

"Oh, no thanks. I figured you would say to just make myself at home so that's what I did. No sense standing on formality, I say."

"Of course. We're both glad to have you here."

The silence returned a few moments more until Liara thankfully arrived on the scene. She smiled at Fabia and moved to take her hands. Fabia threw her arms around Liara and pulled her in tight.

"It's so good to meet you in person, Li. Can I call you Li? I can't believe I finally get to meet my Baby Sister!"

Liara stood awkwardly in her sister's arms, a smile plastered on her face.

"And it is good to meet you as well", Liara responded a little stiffly. "We are very glad that you will be there for our bonding."

"Oh, me too, me too. The only down side is that now Mom keeps hassling me to settle down and have kids. I'm only 324! I told her, why should I ruin my life by getting bonded to one person and popping out brats when I'm only 324?!" Fabia looked at her much younger sister who still had the same fake smile plastered on her face. "Ah, no offense. I mean, to each his own, right?"

Shepard chuckled and then gestured towards the couch. "Why don't we sit down so that you two can get to know each other better?"

Shepard sat in her usual chair while the two asari sat on the couch facing each other. Liara spoke first.

"So Fabia. You've been a little vague about what you've been doing out on Illium. What exactly do you do?"

At this, Fabia brightened and bounced up once again from the couch. She went over to the corner where her bags had been dumped in a heap and started rummaging through them.

"I'm glad you asked! I'm an entrepreneur and a businesswoman! I'm currently selling this wonderful product that I'm just dying to show you. It's a skin care product that will make you look decades younger. I mean, everyone wants to look younger, right? Would you like to try some?" Fabia approached Liara again while popping the blue bottle open. "Let me just apply a little on your face…"

Liara recoiled from the bottle and from her older half-sister.

"That's okay, Fabia. I am satisfied with my current skin-care products. Thank you anyway."

"What am I thinking? You're a baby. Your skin is perfect anyway. But, you know. This really is a fabulous product and we are always looking for new investors. I mean, everyone wants to make more money, am I right?"

"Ah, where exactly is this product manufactured?" Shepard piped in.

"Oh, somewhere in the Terminus Systems. But I know what you're thinking and it really is a fabulous product and perfectly safe. It is also 100% legal to sell on Illium. We are still working on getting the licenses necessary to sell it in asari space and on the Citadel but you know how much red tape there is here. But it's just a formality. We just need a little bit more cash to put through all the paperwork and then we will be swimming in credits. This really is the investment opportunity of a lifetime. Once we get those licenses, this thing is going to take off! Because you're family, I'm willing to share the bounty and let you in on it. I heard that you have some extra cash because of that book that you wrote. I heard it was good so I bought a copy. Haven't had the chance to read it yet. I'm not much of a reader and who has the time? So, what do you say?"

Shepard and Liara looked at each other.

"Perhaps we can talk about it in the morning. Do you have a prospectus with you?"

Fabia looked at her sister blankly.

"What's that?"

Shepard had to put her hand over her mouth to keep from chuckling. She then rose and stretched.

"Well Fabia", Shepard said while stifling a fake yawn, "it really has been a long day. Perhaps we could catch up more in the morning? We have a guest bedroom all made up and you are more than welcome to use it."

"Thanks! That's great but you know, now that I've had a little nap, I'm not very tired anymore. It's been ages since I've been back on Thessia. Maybe I'll just go out for a little bit. Have a drink, wind down a little."

Liara smiled. "Well, be careful. Feel free to come back whenever you like just try to be quiet so you don't wake the children."

Suddenly, Fabia rushed to her sister and captured her in a crushing hug.

"Oh. It is just so good to meet you in person, Little Sis. I love you so much!"

"Yes. It was good to meet you as well. I, ah, love you too."

Fabia bounced back from her sister and all but ran to the door.

"See you both later! I probably won't be gone more than an hour or so but don't wait up on my account."

Fabia was through the door and it closed behind her before either Liara or Shepard could respond. Shepard looked at Liara.

"Are you sure you two aren't twins?" Shepard deadpanned. Liara only rolled her eyes in response.

It was a couple days before the actual bonding day and friends were trickling in from all corners of the universe. It was decided that Shepard and Liara would put up their guests in luxury rooms at the Golden Goddess. They offered those with children a room in their apartment if they wanted it to give the kids a chance to play together and to really get to know each other. While the Shepard-T'Soni girls were sleeping in their parent's room, one of the other bedrooms was already occupied by Karin, Greg and their little girl Erica. Steve Cortez had just arrived with his husband, Irving, and their adopted daughter Carmen. The girls had already descended on their newest playmate and the noise in the living room was quickly reaching deafening.

Steve and Irving were sitting on the couch while Shepard sat in the chair next to them, trying to be heard.

"Girls! Please! Take it down a notch! Your mother will be taking all you girls to the park shortly where you can scream your heads off but now, you need to use your indoor voices." Shepard had to yell to be heard by the five excited children.

The girls become slightly quieter for the moment.

"I'm sorry Steve. You were saying."

"I was just saying how the SX-5 is so much better than the SX-4. Better acceleration, better maneuverability, especially in low admo."

Irving rolled his eyes beside him. "We've argued about this before, Steve. Most fighter missions happen in space, not in a planet's atmosphere. It might not be as sexy but it's true. And for that, the SX-4 is far and away, the better model. The new fighter is actually a downgrade instead of an upgrade."

"I think we both know that the best pilot would know which bird was better and I think we both know which man on this couch is the better pilot." Steve smirked through his response.

"Exactly. It's me and I say it's the SX-4." Irving responded with a smirk of his own.

Shepard leaned in closer to the two men and tried to whisper so as not to be overheard but loud enough so that they could hear her over the din created by the minors in the room.

"Speaking of piloting prowess, are we still on for today?"

"Definitely. I'm looking forward to it." Steve said enthusiastically.

"Me too. Not only will I be able to demonstrate once again to my loving husband how outclassed by me he is as a pilot but I'll also be able to say that I helped train the famous Admiral Shepard."

Shepard was just about to respond when she noticed Jacey standing before them, looking curiously at Steve and Irving.

"Can we help you with something, Jellybean", Shepard asked her oldest daughter.

"I have a question for Steve and Irving but I don't know if I should ask it."

"Go ahead, Sweetheart. You can ask us anything." Steve responded for both of them.

"You are both boys, right?"

Steve and Irving looked at each other and smiled before Steve turned back to Jacey and responded.

"That's right. We are both boys."

"That means you both have penises. But you have Carmen so which one of you has a uterus and a vagina too?"

Shepard watched as the color drained from the two men's faces. Both men looked to be too shocked to give any kind of answer so Shepard smiled at her daughter and responded for them.

"That's a good question, Jellybean. Let's get you an answer."

At which point, Shepard stood up and yelled towards the kitchen.

"Liara! Liara! Come quick! Hurry!"

A panicked Liara ran into the living room from the kitchen with a slice of lunch meat still in one hand and a slice of bread in the other. She quickly scanned the room looking for bleeding or injured persons. Finding none, she looked questioningly at Shepard.

"Hi Honey. Jacey has a question for you. We have to go to my office to discuss some things."

"Jacey has a question?!"

Liara looked at Shepard dumbfounded as Shepard quickly motioned for Steve and Irving to follow her. Shepard then grabbed three beers from the kitchen, came out and led the two men up the stairs to her office.

"Sorry about that, guys. Liara insists on teaching the girls honestly about sex and she insists on using the correct terminology."

"We're sorry we didn't respond. Little Jacey just kind of blindsided us there."

Shepard chuckled. "Don't worry about it. Let's go talk about this training that you have set up for us."

It was an hour later when Shepard poked her head out of her office. She didn't hear anything so she exited the office with a helmet under her arm, motioning for Steve and Irving to follow.

"Really Shepard. I'm starting to get the feeling that you didn't tell Liara about this training that we're doing today." Steve said while following Shepard to the stairs.

"I don't need permission to go do anything, Steve. I'm my own woman and a grown one at that."

"Then why have we been hiding out in your office for the last hour? Seriously, we are going to miss our slot if we don't hurry." Irving replied.

"We weren't hiding. We were waiting for Liara to take the girls to the park so that they don't see us leave and ask a whole bunch of questions."

Steve and Irving both laughed as they stepped down the stairs.

"Just don't tell Liara that it was our idea when she finds out and starts yelling at you."

At that point, Liara stepped out from behind the door to the lower bathroom and stood in front of Shepard with her arms crossed and a smile on her face.

"And why would Liara want to yell at you?" Liara said, looking straight at Shepard.

"Nothing! The boys here just think that you might not like what we planned on doing today but I told them what a wonderful, open-minded asari you are who would never impede her bondmate's freedom in any way."

"And if I were that kind of asari who would impede her bondmate's freedom, what would I be impeding her from doing?"

"We…were just going to do some training. Fighter training. Simulated fighter training."

"If it's simulated, why do you have to wear a helmet?"

Shepard looked down at the helmet tucked under her arm, confused. She was so surprised to see Liara that she forgot that she was carrying it.

"Oh, this? It's just for show. To make things more realistic."

"Really. And where was this simulated flight training supposed to take place? In an actual simulator or in the skies above Thessia in actual fighters?"

Shepard looked at Liara blankly, trying to decide whether to lie or not until Steve cut in.

"It really isn't that dangerous, Liara. We will be in actual fighters doing low-atmo combat training in the latest fighter but these trainers have been designed to switch into auto-pilot if the student does anything stupid or goes below the deck of 100 feet."

"And is there a way to disable this safety feature? I know you've seen Shepard in combat. Do you have any idea how far she will go to win?" Liara responded.

Steve looked at Liara for a moment before responding.

"Point taken. But this is all just for fun."

"And you've known Shepard for long enough to know that when it comes to a competition, there is no such thing."

Steve just sighed while Irving spoke.

"Damn. I was looking forward to this too."

Liara just smiled and spoke again.

"Are there any two-seat fighters?"

"No! I want my own!" Shepard interjected.

"Steve?" Liara asked again.

"Yes."

"I would appreciate it if you would pilot the fighter with Shepard as your co-pilot."

"I can do that."

"Do I have your word? You won't let her talk you out of it?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"This just sucks! How am I supposed to grow as a person when you try to stop me from doing anything fun?!"

"You'll thank me in three days when we get bonded and you are actually there, alive, to get bonded."

Shepard stomped towards the door, mumbling under her breath, looking very much like her 5 year old daughter rather than the wise and heroic Commander Shepard.

Shepard, Wrex and Liara were sitting in the living room when Jacey burst in the front door. She was out of breath but she tried to speak anyway, her eyes full of panic. Shepard bolted up and knelt down in front of her, grabbing her arm gently.

"What's wrong Jacey? Take a deep breath and then tell us what's wrong."

Jacey did as she was told. After a moment, she got her breathing under control and tried again.

"Benezia convinced the other kids to go down to the pool. She said she was leading us on an important mission to an ocean world and now she is ordering everyone into the pool to defeat the enemy but I don't think little Kreg can swim!"

Liara and Wrex were already sprinting towards the door.

"Okay Jacey. Thank you for telling us. Stay here while we go down to the pool."

Shepard then sprinted out the door but when she got to the elevator, the one dedicated to their penthouse was already on its way down carrying Liara and Wrex. Shepard ran to the stairs and started flying down the 50 stories to the basement pool room.

When Liara and Wrex finally made it down to the basement, cursing the slow elevator the entire way, they ran into the large pool room to find Benezia in front the other kids who were facing the pool. They got there just in time to see Benezia ready to issue her order.

"Ready weapons. Charge!", Benezia yelled as all the kids started running towards the pool's edge.

"Benezia T'Soni! Freeze right there!"

Benezia recognized her mother's very angry voice and she stopped in mid-step before reaching the pool, the other kids stopping behind her. Kreg tried to stop as well but the momentum in his heavier body carried him forward the last few inches and he fell into the pool. Liara's fist glowed blue and she started bringing her arm forward to throw a biotic lift when Wrex caught her arm. Kreg started flailing in water, trying to keep his head above the water.

"Kreg! Listen to your Father and Clan Leader! You can swim! Kick your legs and paddle your arms. We are right here and will not let you drown but you can do this. You are krogan!"

His father's voice seemed to get through to the frightened child and he stopped panicking. After a few more moments of flailing, with his head falling below the surface for a few terrifying seconds, he started kicking his legs and paddling with his arms until he was doggy-paddling towards the edge of the pool. Wrex laughed as he met his son by the side of the pool and easily lifted him out with one arm.

"That's my boy! I knew you could do it, Kreg!"

Liara marched in front of Benezia and squatted in front of her daughter just as Shepard ran into the room. Liara struggled to keep her voice from yelling as she spoke to her daughter.

"How many times have we told you that you are not to come to this pool without an adult with you, Benezia T'Soni? Not everyone knows how to swim, young lady, and Kreg could have been seriously hurt. Do you understand how serious this is?"

Benezia looked down at her feet as tears started to form in her eyes. She spoke in a small voice.

"I'm sorry, Mother. I wasn't trying to hurt anyone. We were just having fun."

"That's no excuse! We told you before not to come down here without an adult and you deliberately disobeyed. Go apologize to Kreg and your Uncle Wrex and you will then go up to your room for the rest of the day."

"But the other kids are only here for a couple days!"

"Not another word, Benezia. Go apologize and then you will be in your room for the rest of the day."

Benezia slowly walked over to stand in front of Wrex and Kreg, her head down, tears brimming in her eyes. Shepard followed behind and waited as Benezia worked up her apology.

"I'm sorry, Kreg. I didn't know you couldn't swim. I'm sorry Uncle Wrex. I didn't mean to hurt anyone."

"No harm done, Bene but you need to learn to listen to your Battlemasters. Your Mom and Dad only tell you not to do something for a good reason. Besides, a good leader knows the strengths and weaknesses of the troops under her. Krogan are slow and no good in the water." Wrex gently turned Benezia towards the pool and pointed across it. "You should have sent your main force across the water but had Kreg go around it to flank the enemy."

Benezia nodded, apparently seeing a battlefield in front of her where Shepard saw only a pool. The other kids jumped in the water and started splashing and laughing under Liara's watchful eye.

"Daddy, back in pool?", Kreg asked.

"Go ahead, Whelp, but don't move too far from the edge until you get better at it."

Kreg gave a battle roar, which came out more like a sharp scream, and then jumped into the pool laughing. Benezia looked at the other kids in the pool and the tears started rolling down her face.

"Daddy, I'm really sorry. Can I just…"

"No Benezia. You heard your Mother. Let's go up to your room."

Benezia obediently turned and moved mournfully towards the elevator, the tears still rolling down her face. When they got back to the apartment, Shepard told Jacey to go down to the pool with the other kids as Shepard walked Benezia up to her room. Despite the fact that she was furious with her daughter for disobeying them and didn't even want to think about what would have happened if Wrex and Liara had not arrived in time, Shepard also could not help but feel sorry for Benezia. For an outgoing kid like Benezia who just loved meeting and playing with the other kids, being on lock-down alone was a horrible fate. Benezia threw herself down on the bed facedown and started crying. Shepard sat down next to her and ran her hand soothingly over her daughter's back.

"Peanut, I know you're sad now but you have to listen to your mom and me when we tell you something. We don't tell you not to do something just to be mean. We just want to make sure that you and your sisters and everyone else stays safe."

Benezia lifted herself up and looked at her father.

"I really didn't want to hurt little Kreg. I just didn't think. I would never do anything to hurt anyone, especially not someone little like Kreg."

Shepard smiled at her daughter and pulled her into a hug. She knew it was true. Despite the fact that Benezia's excess energy and enthusiasm sometimes got her in trouble, she was a good natured child who had a protective streak when it came to those younger than her. She even felt protective of Kreg because he was younger even though he towered over her and outweighed her by at least 50 pounds.

"I know you wouldn't. Listen to me. After dinner, you mother is going to come up here and ask you if you understand why you got punished. If you tell her how sorry you are and tell her why you are sorry, she might let you out of lockdown tonight. That means you would have all day tomorrow to play with the other kids before our bonding day."

A few hours later, Shepard watched down the hall from her daughter's bedroom until the door burst open and her smiling daughter came running out at top speeds, nearly knocking Shepard over in her zeal to get down the stairs to where the other kids were playing. Shepard smiled at her wife as Liara exited Benezia's room, shaking her head.

"So, I take it, it went well?", Shepard asked.

"She knew exactly what to say. Almost like Shepard Junior had been coached by Shepard Senior on how to get her mother to forgive her."

"Hey! I resemble that remark! I mean, resent."

Liara shook her head again.

"You know, we are spoiling them too much because their father is too soft-hearted."

Shepard slipped her arms around Liara's waist.

"Maybe. But they're good kids, Liara. I think maybe we are doing okay."

"Yeah, I think maybe we are."

Liara smiled before leaning forward to kiss Shepard Senior.

Shepard listened to the nonsensical words coming from Samara's mouth and understood none of it. She had been on Thessia for 4 years now and she had learned enough Standard Thessian to be a fluent speaker even without her translator on but the ancient bonding ceremony that she agreed to be part of used an ancient dialect. She had read up on the ceremony and memorized the words that she was expected to say as her vows but knew nothing about this preamble that Samara was not spouting, the words completed unknown to her translator. She watched for clues that it was her turn to say the memorized words when she realized that Samara had said something to her in Standard Thessian. Samara looked at her expectantly.

"I'm sorry. Could you repeat that? Do I say the words now?"

"No, Matron Katherine, It is not yet time for ...

"Maiden Katherine", Shepard interrupted Samara. When Samara looked at her with a confused expression, she continued. "I'm still a Maiden. If you look at human life spans, I have not yet completed one third of my expected life cycle so I'm still young. I'm not middle-aged yet. And do you really have to call me Katherine? I hate that name."

"Very well, Maiden Katherine. Only first names are used in the bonding ceremony. As I was saying, you may disrobe now to show your bondmate your openness and that you are bringing no secrets into your bonding."

Shepard just blinked at her.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?"

"I said that you may now disrobe to show your bondmate your openness and that you are bringing no secrets into your bonding."

Shepard felt her panic start to rise. No one said anything about disrobing. Shepard had not read anything about disrobing in her research. Shepard could almost feel the camera on her and millions of eyes watching her reaction. She searched Samara's face for any clue that she might be joking and found only a serious, sincere expression. She turned to Liara and found the same expression until a tiny crack developed in the form a slightly up-turned lip before Liara spoke.

"We have agreed to forego the disrobing, Justicar Samara. I trust that Maiden Katherine is entering the bonding with no secrets."

"Oh, I get it. Picking on the human again. Typical!", Shepard muttered under her breath.

Samara's lips twitched up ever so slightly before she continued.

"Very well, let us proceed to the vows. Maiden Liara..."

The energy between their bonding bracelets crackled as Liara turned towards Shepard and began reciting her vows in the ancient asari dialect. Shepard smiled and concentrated on watching her bondmate's beautiful face as she said the unknown words. The energy between the bracelets grew until the pair were almost entirely enveloped by the pale blue light of Liara's biotics. Liara finally stopped speaking and they turned towards Samara once again. Samara spoke a few sentences and then looked at Shepard, nodding slightly.

Shepard started reciting the lines that she had learned the best she could. As Liara looked at her adoringly, she smiled and then momentarily got lost in Liara's eyes. It was then that her mind completely blanked. Liara nodded encouragingly as Shepard struggled to remember the next line of the vows. She started to panic when a soft voice spoke behind them, saying the next words and jogging her memory. She turned slightly and winked towards Jacey before continuing on. It was not lost on her that this girl, who had come to them a mute who refused to speak, was now speaking in an ancient dialect to save her new father from embarrassment on her bonding day. Life was good.

Once Shepard finished her vows, they waited as Samara finished reciting the rest of the ceremony. Shepard knew that asari bondings, unlike human weddings, traditionally ended with not a kiss but a dance and a brief, public melding. She waited for her cue.

"I now pronounce you joined before the eyes of the Goddess. You may now commence with the bonding dance."

"That is not necessary, Justicar Samara. We are going to forego the dance."

Shepard was having none of that and she quickly moved into the starting position, taking Liara with her through their bound wrists. She readied herself as the music started to play. Liara's eyes got huge and she whispered to Shepard.

"There are millions of people watching us right now! It is a very complicated dance!"

Shepard just winked at her and murmured "Trust me".

The couple completed the dance almost flawlessly with Shepard leading and Liara was smiling and a little breathless when it ended. She touched her forehead to Shepard's and opened a meld between them.

'And how, in the name of the goddess, did you learn that?'

'You should know by now that I will perform the impossible for you, my love. I just practiced.'

'And no one helped you? How is this possible?'

'And you should also know by now that performing the impossible is a lot easier when one has talented people at one's side. Remember that nasty dance instructor who didn't want to teach me anymore? The pretentious Instructor of the Dance lady? I convinced her to give me some lessons.'

'And how did you manage that? You didn't threaten her or her family or anything, did you?'

'I told her that if she didn't agree, I would show up to every single one of her classes every day until she agreed to teach me the bonding dance in private.'

Liara laughed out loud.

'And how did it go?'

'It was not an easy process. Let me tell you something. You think marines swear a lot? I'm pretty sure she called me every vile name in the galaxy in several different asari dialects.'

Laura laughed again.

'And you deserved all of them, I'm sure', Liara thought before breaking the meld and releasing the bonding bracelets. The couple then turned around and were almost flattened by three very eager, young asari who had been waiting patiently for the boring ceremony to be over.

Shepard smiled and shook her head as she passed by Fabia who was dancing on a table and motioning for Shepard to join her. Shepard noticed Bakara up at the bar, finally alone after being surrounded by asari matriarchs for much of the reception. Shepard approached her to say hello.

"So Bakara. Are you having a good time? Do you think meeting with all these matriarchs advanced your cause?"

"Yes. I think the matriarchs and we older krogan females have much in common. I have enjoyed their company for the most part and many of them seem receptive to an increased krogan role in the galaxy. I just hope I managed to not offend any of them."

"I'm sure you haven't. Is there any particular reason why you think that you might have?"

"It's just that some of them seemed very...taken with me. I can't be sure but I think a few might have propositioned me."

Shepard laughed. "Well, with so many unbonded matriarchs around and the alcohol flowing, I would have been surprised if none of them expressed more than a professional appreciation for you. I hope you let them down gently?"

"I tried, Shepard, but a couple were not easily daunted. Even though Wrex and I have an open relationship, I am just not interested in the asari that way." Bakara leaned in closer and lowered her voice. "No offense but I just find their soft, squishy bodies very unappealing."

Shepard laughed again. "No offense taken. I'm partial to soft, squishy bodies in that way myself but everyone has their own type. For many asari, the physical is not so much important as the mind within the body. You are an intriguing woman, Bakara. You can't blame them for wanting to get in that fascinating mind of yours."


	81. Chapter 81

Shepard returned to the apartment after saying a few words at the Victory over the Reapers Day celebration at the Armali Central Park. It had been eight years since that fateful day and in some places on Thessia, it was now almost impossible to discern that there had ever been a war. Shepard's work as a coordinator to facilitate the rebuilding and reconstruction continued but her services were requested more and more infrequently. Even the smaller, more remote colonies had made good process towards repairing things to pre-War levels and in many places, things were made even better than they were before the War.

The War even brought about some unexpected areas of progress, one of which, was of great interest to Shepard's Bondmate and was the reason why Liara had skipped the day's festivities. In fact, in the five days since the Immortal returned to Citadel space, Liara had been interested in little else. The ship was a joint effort, funded by all the Council races to map and investigate the star systems discovered by the Normandy on its long journey home. The Immortal and its crew reactivated the mass relay in two different star systems and discovered several garden worlds, ready and open for colonization.

More importantly to a certain asari researcher, they discovered a completely unexplored and previously unknown prothean colony. There were already plans underway to conduct a joint research trip to the undiscovered planet. It wasn't just researchers and Prothean Experts who were excited by the news. Corporations were tripping all over themselves, hoping to invest in the project in the hopes of getting their hands on previously undeveloped prothean technology. So it was no surprise to Shepard when she peeked her head into Liara's office and found her wife glued to her terminal as she had been every free moment since hearing the news.

"Hi honey. We're back."

Liara was so engrossed in the jumbled data on her monitors, that she did not appear to hear Shepard and there was no response.

"I said hi honey!"

Still no response. Shepard let out an sigh and then suddenly flopped herself down at Liara's feet.

"Liara! Help me! I've been shot!"

Liara finally became aware of Shepard's presence and instead of greeting her, she scowled instead.

"Shepard! What in the goddess's name are you doing down there?"

Shepard popped back up and kissed her wife's forehead.

"Just trying to get your attention. I just wanted to let you know that the girls and I were back. I was thinking that after a little break, I'd take the girls out to dinner. I was wondering if you'd like to join us?"

"They've been out all day. Wouldn't it be easier just to have dinner here?"

Shepard noticed that even as she was saying her few sentences to her bondmate, Liara's eyes kept flitting back to her monitors. Shepard sighed again.

"You're hopeless. I have a feeling that I could be standing here naked and on fire and you'd still be more interested in that screen then on your loving wife."

"Oh Shepard. It's extraordinary! This is an entire prothean settlement from the Fourth Age, completely undisturbed. It appears that the protheans just up and left one day, leaving most of the city behind. Just think about it! A prothean settlement from the Fourth Age! Right before the reapers made their presence known. For whatever reason, the reapers did not go there to wipe out all signs of the protheans as they did so many other places and everything is just as the protheans left it. Just think about what we could learn about the protheans. About how they really were before War, before their fight for survival."

"I'll take that as a no to dinner. Have they asked you to go? I would think with your reknown, whoever is sponsoring this expedition would have asked you first."

"Of course not. They know that I work for the Guildhall now. I'm sure there are plenty of prothean researchers who will do... an adequate job."

Shepard laughed. "Not as good as you, I'm sure. Why don't you call up Serrice and let them know you are interested? They are one of the sponsoring universities, aren't they?"

"They are but don't be silly, Shepard! I have three small children. I couldn't possibly go. I'll just have to be satisfied with whatever data they decide to release once they get back."

"Okay. If that's how you feel. Are you sure you can't go to dinner with us? Are you going to leave me all alone with those three small wild animals in public again?"

Liara smiled apologetically before once again turning her attention to her monitors.

"You're hopeless!" Shepard repeated before heading for the door. She turned at the door to look at her bondmate again. Despite the fact that she felt like a 'raw data' widow once again, she couldn't help but smile as she watched Liara's riveted concentration. Her wife was acting just like a kid in a candy store or rather like a young 120 year-old asari maiden studying her life's passion. Just like she was before she met Shepard, before the reapers, before the horrors of the War.

An idea came to Shepard and she all but ran to her own office. After all, what was the point of being the Savior of the Galaxy if she couldn't pull a few strings for those that she loved? She dialed the University of Serrice's main number and reached the receptionist.

"Department please?"

"Hi. I'd like to speak to the President of the University, please."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Not yet."

The young asari smirked at her condescendingly.

"I'm sorry. If you don't have an appointment, the best I can do is put you in touch with one of the secretaries of one of the department heads. Maybe if you..."

"This is Admiral Shepard. I am sending you my ident now. I want to talk to the President of the University right now, please."

The woman looked at the information playing across her screen and then looked up at Shepard, surprised.

"Wow. It really is you. I'll try to get the President on the line."

Exactly two galactic standard minutes later, an older asari appeared on the screen.

"Admiral. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Madam President, I understand that your University is organizing the expedition to study the newly-found Prothean ruins on XO323? I also understand you are looking for someone to lead this expedition. Would you consider my Bondmate to be qualified for the position?"

The matriarch briefly looked shocked before she schooled her features once again.

"It was my understanding that Maiden T'Soni was not available but if she were available, she would be considered highly qualified and would definately move to the top of the list of the most qualified candidates."

"Good. Now I know that you probably have to get the go ahead from the other universities involved but just think how good it would be for Serrice to not only have an asari leading it but one of its own. Just send the offer to this address when you get it done." Shepard typed the information into the screen in front of her. "Oh, and when you do, there's no need to mention this call or that we spoke to Ms. T'Soni."

About a week later, Shepard noticed the change in Liara. Because she knew her wife so well, she could see the almost comical war happening within her. She could tell just by looking at Liara that she was debating with herself whether she should do what she wanted to do or whether doing what she wanted was somehow wrong. Shepard almost put her out of her misery a few times by simply telling her that it was she that made the call that put her into consideration but she decided against it because she was afraid that Liara would think that she only received the offer because Shepard pulled some strings. In fact, the Board made the decision based on Liara's reputation and not Shepard's.

One weekend morning, the internal debate seemed to have ended with a decision made and a plan of action put in to place when Liara accosted Shepard as she was getting ready to go to the Arena with Benezia. Liara suddenly stopped Shepard as she dressing, spun her around, pinned her to their closet door and kissed her passionately. When Liara ended the kiss and pulled back, Shepard leaned forward to continue.

"I've got 5 minutes before Benezia and I have to leave. We don't have to stop!"

Liara smiled and pulled further away, trailing her hands down Shepard's chest.

"What I have in mind will take more than 5 minutes. I've decided that tonight is date night. When you get home, I want you all to myself. I have something that I need to discuss with you."

"Now, you see. You just ruined the whole thing by mentioning a discussion. We still have 4 minutes!"

Liara smiled over her shoulder as she turned away from Shepard and left the room. Shepard smiled to herself. A discussion could only mean one thing. Liara had decided to take the position and wanted to break it to her that she would be leaving for a while. The smile left Shepard's face as she thought of the implications. Liara would be out there alone, without her, on a largely unexplored planet in an unexplored system. Time to pull some more strings.

The finals of the Elkoss Combine Father-Daughter Junior League Championships at the Armali Arena were coming to a close and no one present was really surprised to see 'Team Human' atop the score board. For the last 2 years, Benezia and her father had decimated the the field in the different 'combat' levels. As the buzzer rang and Shepard fired her last shot, blasting the one remaining floating target into multi-colored pixels, she ran over to her daughter and hoisted her into the air.

"Great job, Peanut! We did it! You really have improved this year because you worked hard and you listened to your Daddy. I'm so proud of my Little Peanut."

Benezia threw her arms around her father's neck, a brilliant smile on her face.

"Thanks Daddy. You ain't so bad either."

Shepard laughed and hugged her daughter close before putting her back down on the ground as a reporter closed in. Normally, Junior League competitions did not draw any media attention but if Shepard or a T'Soni was involved in anything, it tended to draw attention.

"Congratulations. You and your daughter have done quite well in these competitions. Why did you name your team 'Team Human' instead of 'Team Shepard' or 'Team T'Soni'?" The reporter asked Shepard, as the other teams gathered around the winners. Some of the other fathers, especially the turian ones, seemed a little less than gracious in their defeat.

"Well, my daughter is obviously asari. I think it's important that she remember the other side of her heritage. I want all my girls to know that they are human as well as asari."

"That makes sense", the reporter continued, "especially since asari really don't get any genetic contributions from the father species."

"I'm not so sure that I believe that." Shepard couldn't help but get a cocky grin on her face. "I think most would agree that Benezia got some of her quickness and skills from her Dad. Not to mention that humans really are, pound for pound, some of the best fighters in the galaxy. Isn't that right, Bene?"

At that Benezia's smile got even brighter as she raised her fist and yelled 'Team Human!". Shepard laughed at her daughter and turned back to the reporter when suddenly, she found herself on her back, looking up at the ceiling of the arena, the feeling of biotics tingling her skin. She bolted back on her feet and looked around.

"Okay, who did that?" Shepard asked angrily, looked around at the other teams and the reporter. Because this was a junior league and asari typically didn't develop any biotic ability worth training until age 12 or so, the use of biotics was strickly forbidden in the tournaments. Shepard then looked at her daughter and saw the tell-tale wisps of blue energy surrounding her fists. Benezia stood frozen, her mouth open in surprise, looking at her father. "Benezia?! What just happened here?"

The reporter tried but failed to hide her smirk. "I think it's pretty obvious, human. Your asari daughter just put you on your a..butt. Now, what were you saying about humans being some of the best fighters in the galaxy?"

Shepard looked at the reporter still a little stunned and asked "Is she supposed to be able to do that? She's only 7!"

The reporter shrugged. "That is very young but then she is your daughter. Maybe she did inherit some of your martial abilities."

An asari father on one of the other teams looked at Benezia thoughtfully. "She is Liara T'Soni's daughter and Matriarch Benezia's granddaughter."

Another asari father opined, "Not to mention Matriarch Aethyta's granddaughter. That old girl can still pack a mean punch."

"I'm sorry, Daddy! I didn't mean to! I was excited and I just wanted to lift you up to celebrate. Like you picked me up. I thought about it and then, it just kind of happened!" Benezia looked down at her own two hands in awe and confusion.

Shepard picked her daughter up and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "No harm done, Peanut. It looks like you're going to need some biotic training sooner rather than later. Come on, Champ, time to go home."

After some hasty apologies about her daughter's inadvertant use of biotics and saying congratulations to the other teams who made the finals, Shepard and Benezia left the arena carrying their trophy.

Shepard was excited to tell Liara about their win and about Bene's sudden manifestation of her prodigious biotics but when they entered the apartment, Liara had other ideas. Aethyta was there and Liara, who was in a stunning, figure-hugging dark blue dress, was busy trying to hussle their two other children and her father out the door. When she saw Benezia enter the door, Liara quickly tried to round her up and herd her out with the others.

"Mommy!" Benezia held up her trophy "We won! Daddy and I won!"

"That's fantastic, sweetheart!" Liara hugged her daughter while walking with her towards the door. "Now, let me take your trophy. You and your sisters are going with grandpa tonight. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"Athame's tits, Liara! I know you're in heat and everything but stop pushing us out the door!" Aethyta interjected. Liara gave her father 'the look'.

"You know I don't like you using that kind of language around the children, Father. And I am not 'in heat'. I just need to discuss something with Shepard. It's important."

"Actually, I think I have something that I need to discuss with both of you. It would seem that our Benezia here has developed some very early biotics. She actually picked me up and knocked me over."

"Shepard, that's impossible. She's only seven years old." Liara replied.

"Not so impossible, Liara. You were nine when you started. Or at least that's what your Mom told me."

"It's true, Mommy! I thought about picking Daddy up and it just kind of happened. And then she fell down." Benbezia gave a guilty look. "I didn't mean for that to happen."

Liara looked shocked but then she continued to move everyone towards the door again. "Well, it looks like we will just have to get you into biotic training early. Have a good time at your grandpa's tonight, girls."

As they all moved out the door, Shepard could hear Jacey calling Benezia a liar about being able to use biotics and Benezia responded that she would 'bounce Jacey off the walls' if she kept picking on her. Shepard couldn't help but feel sorry for Aethyta. They were a handful at the best of times but with Benezia flush with her victory and her new-found powers, this could be an especially bad night. Almost like she could hear Shepard's thoughts, Aethyta poked her head back through the door and narrowed her eyes at Liara.

"You owe me. I hope the sex that you're about to have is worth my pain and suffering."

Liara rolled her eyes as she responded, "I told you. I need to have a discussion with Shepard. That's why I asked you to look after the children tonight."

"Ah huh. That dress that you're wearing just screams 'I want to have a discussion with you'.

Instead of answering Liara just hit the pressure plate so that the door slid closed and Aethyta just barely pulled her head back in time. Liara turned around to find a grin on Shepard's face as her eyes roamed over her body.

"That is quite the dress. I thought we were staying in tonight. Why are you all dressed up?"

Liara moved closer to her and slid her arms around Shepard's neck to give her a sweet kiss.

"Shouldn't we dress up, as you call it, for each other instead of just for strangers? In fact, I have a dress all picked out for you. It's laying on the bed. I also had dinner catered. I got you your favorites including filet mignon and lobster. But first, I know you must be tired and sore so I drew a bath for you. Why don't you go upstairs while I get everything ready?"

Shepard couldn't help but grin to herself. Liara was definately buttering her up to ask for something. Shepard already knew what it was and already knew that she was going to agree to it but maybe she needn't tell Liara that quite yet. A little pampering might be a good thing. Shepard kissed her back before moving towards the stairs.

"Sounds good to me. I trust you'll tell me when dinner is ready?"

"Of course. Take your time. Just enjoy yourself."

Not more than ten minutes later, Shepard had just lowered herself into the warm water and closed her eyes when Liara came into the bathroom. Shepard opened her eyes and watched her wife.

"Dinner ready so soon? I thought you said to take my time?"

"I did. I just thought I'd come and help you wash up."

Shepard chuckled. "Liara, I'm a big girl. I've been washing..."

The words died in Shepard's throat as Liara pulled her dress off over her head and placed it neatly on a chair, revealing that she was completely naked underneath.

"You're naked?!"

"Well, I don't want to get my dress wet."

"But you were naked under that dress the whole time? Why Ms. T'Soni, if I didn't know better, I'd think that you were trying to seduce me."

Liara kneeled down next to the tub beside Shepard and leaned over to take the sponge from the other side of the tub. Shepard was treated to an up-close view of Liara's almost perfect breasts.

"Are those part of dinner?" Shepard leaned forward to try to kiss one but Liara pulled back.

"No touching the help. Just relax and let me wash you."

Liara soaped up the sponge and ran it slowly all over Shepard's body. Shepard noticed that her breasts seemed to get 'washed' at least five times.

"Are you feeling relaxed?", Liara asked.

"Honestly, no. I'm starting to feel a bit...agitated."

"Hmmm." Liara smiled coyly. "I wonder why that would be? I need you to sit on the edge of the tub so I can get some areas I missed."

Shepard did as she was told. Liara moved the sponge up along her thighs and between her legs. Shepard gasped and stiffened.

"You know what? I don't think I need this anymore."

Liara threw away the sponge and moved her hand back between Shepard's legs. In less than a minute, Shepard climaxed and then slid bonelessly back into the water. After a moment, Liara leaned over her again and kissed her gently on the lips.

"Now do you feel nice and relaxed?"

Shepard smiled back at her wife before suddenly throwing her arms around Liara and pulling her into the tub with her.

"My turn!" Shepard exclaimed as Liara gasped at suddenly finding herself in the water. After recovering, Liara threw her arms around Shepard's neck, nuzzling her throat. She pulled back and looked in Shepard's eyes.

"Your turn comes later. First dinner, then discussion and then I am yours to do whatever you will with me."

"I like the sound of that but I think we should skip the dinner and definitely the discussion." Shepard grinned and then pouted as Liara stood up to get out of the tub.

"Come on. I'll help you get dry and then you can go put on the beautiful, expensive dress that I bought you for tonight."

Shepard got out of the tub, grabbed a towel and started drying off Liara as she did the same for her.

"Why should I bother to dress up now when I already got laid? I already had an orgasm. I think you might have made a serious tactical error with that." Shepard said, her eyes sparkling.

Liara pushed her towards their bedroom and snapped the towel at her.

"Because you want more. You always want more."

"Good point, good point", Shepard winked as she walked towards the bedroom, "I'll see you downstairs in five for the start of our date."

The lights were off in the dining room when Shepard entered and the elaborate meal already on the table was lit only by candlelight. It was obvious that Liara had gone through a lot of trouble to make this a special night and everything looked great. Her tastes were never in question even if Shepard questioned her motivation for going through the effort.

The dinner was as good as it looked. They spent the time idly talking about whatever came to mind and joking with each other as they enjoyed their flawlessly-prepared feast. After dessert and coffee, Shepard noticed a change come over Liara as her demeanor became more serious. It was obvious that she was gearing up to begin the discussion. Shepard was the first to break the silence.

"So, are we going to have this serious discussion now or do you need to butter me up some more?", Shepard said with a grin.

"I was not 'buttering you up'. I was simply trying to have a nice date night with my bondmate."

"And you succeeded. So, why don't you get to it and discuss."

Liara took a deep breath and folded her hands in front of her.

"As you are aware, they have decided to mount an expedition to the new prothean ruins located on XO323. It will be a fully funded expedition that will last at least nine standard galactic months." Liara broke off and Shepard quickly started up for her again.

"And they are looking for someone? Someone with expertise in not only the protheans but also someone with lots of field experience, to lead this expedition?"

Liara looked at her quizzically. "That is true. It would be the opportunity of a lifetime for whoever goes." Liara took another deep breath before continuing. "The downside is it's a huge commitment. Not only would the people chosen be gone for at least nine months but the preparation for such an undertaking would be intense, all-consuming almost for months before that."

"I realize that and I think you should do it."

Liara appeared not to have heard Shepard. "It would be a huge sacrifice, not only for the individuals involved", Liara bite her lower lip, "but for their employers, families and loved ones. Perhaps it would be unfair..."

Shepard grabbed Liara's hand across the table.

"I said, I know all that and I want you to go anyway."

Liara looked at Shepard, realization dawning in her eyes.

"You don't even know what I was going to ask you!"

Shepard chuckled. "Actually, I do. I have a confession to make. I might have been the one who suggested you in the first place."

Liara removed her hand from Shepard's, her voice involuntarily rising. "You mean, you talked to the selection committee? That's why I received the invitation to lead the expedition?"

"No. You received the invitation because you are the foremost prothean researcher of your time, who's early papers on the prothean extinctions and the cyclical extinctions before that, look prescient. You received the invitation because you are a top-notch field researcher with impeccable academic credentials. Not to mention your reputation for being a greatly capable administrator who knows how to get things done."

"Wait a minute. You knew this whole time what I was going to ask you and you let me continue the whole night like you had no idea?"

Shepard grinned. "I thought that's what you were going to ask me."

"And you just let me pamper you when you already knew what I was going to ask and that you were going to say yes?", Liara asked a little indignantly.

"Of course! I'm not an idiot. And you're the one who tried to use sex and food against me to bend me to your will!"

"I was not using sex against you. I was just hoping to have a reasonable discussion with you and everyone knows that you are more reasonable when you have a full stomach and after sex."

Shepard chuckled. "Oh, everyone knows that, huh? Well anyway, it doesn't matter, because I fully support your decision to go on this expedition."

At that, Liara's expression became serious once again and she stood up to start pacing, her hands twisting together.

"I don't think it's a good idea, Shepard. I'm a mother with three small children! It would be irresponsible for me to go. I'm being selfish. It was just a silly idea."

Shepard got up and captured her wife's hands. "It's not silly and it's not selfish, Li. You can't stop having dreams just because you're bonded and have kids."

"I'll miss almost a whole year of their lives. And I can't ask you to look after them all alone for that long. It wouldn't be fair to any of you."

"Listen to me, honey." Shepard leaned forward to kiss Liara's forehead. "I want you to do this. I need you to do this."

"Why? Why would you want me to do this?" Liara gave an insecure smile. "You're not trying to get rid of me, are you?"

"You know better than that. I want you to do this because it makes me happy to see you like this. Before we met, you were this carefree academic, passionate about learning all you could about the protheans and everything else. And then I came along and then the reapers came and you were forced to see and experience all these horrible things."

"We both know that wasn't your fault."

"I know that. But it happened. And you were basically robbed of your young adulthood."

Liara began to object but Shepard put her hand up to continue.

"I'm not saying it was anyone's fault. It's just the truth. And then, because you love me and I'm not going to be around as long as you, you agreed to have kids and all this responsibility long before you should have.."

"No! You listen to me now.", Liara interrupted sharply. "You and those kids are my world! I would not change one thing. I knew this was a bad idea to even bring it up."

"I know that. I've been inside that tentacled head of yours, remember? I know how much you love me and the girls. I know you wouldn't give up our life for anything. But that doesn't change the fact that you did have to give something up all those years ago. Doing this will allow you to get a little bit of your old self back. The Liara that I first fell in love with. We've both already seen the worst that life can offer and some of the best. I want you to have everything your heart desires in this galaxy."

Liara leaned her forehead against Shepard's, her eyes wet with unshed tears. "I love you so much. And what about you? I want you to have every happiness that this life can offer as well. I know that you miss the military. You miss the action of being out there."

"Sure I do. Sometimes. But not near enough for me to want to go back. I feel like I've already cheated death so many times. I don't want to push my luck anymore. I want to live to a ripe old age. I want to see my kids grow up. I want to be selfish and let someone else do the fighting."

"So, there's nothing that you want right now? I know we talked about maybe having another baby now that Edi is growing up so fast." Liara hesitated. "Do you maybe want a human child? Do you want to be a mother?"

"I am a mother. I'm called 'Daddy' but I am their mother as much as you are."

"I know. I just mean, have you ever wanted to give birth to a child? One that is genetically your child? If you wanted, I would be okay with us raising a human child. You could have a child with another human."

"Absolutely not. I can't imagine loving any child any more than I do our kids just because they have hair on their heads. Besides, I couldn't do that to you or the girls. How would you feel knowing that one of your children is destined to die centuries before you? How would the girls feel if I just had to have a human child because they somehow weren't enough?"

"I'm asking about you, not us."

"There is no void there, Liara." Shepard smiled brightly. "I might want to have another baby at some point but I want that baby to be blue."

"Okay. If you're sure."

Shepard captured Liara's chin with her fingers and tilted her face up until she could kiss her lips.

"I am sure. There is no doubt in my mind. Just like there is no doubt in my mind that you should take this job. The girls and I will miss you but we will be just fine."

When Aethtya and the kids came back the next day, they decided to tell everyone what Mommy would be doing while everyone was all together. They sat everyone down on the living room couch and Liara stood in front of them. She told them exactly what would happen in a few months, in detail, untill all of the kids started fidgeting.

"But you're not leaving for good, right?", Jacey asked nervously.

Liara knelt down in front of Jacey, smiled and took her hand. Her oldest daughter had not quite yet gotten over her fear of abandonment.

"Of course, sweetheart. I love you all too much to be gone any longer than necessary. I'll be back before you know it."

Jacey smiled at Liara and Liara stood up again to address everyone.

"And I'm going to need everyone's help. I need you girls to be on your best behavior for Daddy while I'm away. And I'm going to need you, Dad, to help Shepard with the girls."

"I'll help but I've got my own life. My time is precious.", Aethyta warned.

"I'm sure the other Matriarchs will not miss you too much if you have to spend less time harassing them." Shepard grinned wryly.

"I'm not talking about stupid politics shit. I've got things to do and people to see."

"Or people to do and things to see, as the case may be", Shepard quipped back, her grin growing wider.

"Shepard!", Liara interjected, "would you both stop talking about such things in front of the children."

Benezia looked confused. "What are they talking about?"

"I bet they're talking about sex", Jacey opined.

"I'll have you know, Admiral Dullstone, that I am now in a committed relationship. Well, kind of anyway."

"Oh really? Have you told the poor woman yet?" Shepard chuckled. "And how come we haven't met this girlfriend or is she institutionalized?"

"You think I would be dumb enough to introduce her to this family? She'd run screaming the other way."

"Grandpa's got a girlfriend! Grandpa's got a girlfriend!", Benezia started chanting. Edi giggled at her older sister and then started chanting too. "Granpa's got a curlfwiend! Granpa's got a curlfwiend!"

"Maybe it's a boyfriend. Asari can meld with girls or boys", Jacey informed.

"Grandpa likes girls! Grandma was a girl, Dummy!", Benezia reasoned with her older sister. In response, Jacey just smacked Benezia's arm. And then Benezia smacked her back. And then Jacey smacked her harder until Shepard had to stand up and physically separate the two girls.

Liara stood in front of her family, looking towards the ceiling, a silent entreaty to whatever Goddesses or Gods might exist. What was she thinking? She couldn't leave her family alone for that long. Who would keep Benezia and Jacey from bickering constantly or worse? More importantly, who would keep Shepard from bickering with Aethyta? If only there was a mature, calm, responsible _adult_ who she could call upon to look after them. It was then that the idea came to Liara. She knew that Shepard would object, insisting that she could look after her own children by herself, so no need to tell her. Liara smiled to herself. Shepard was not the only one who could pull some strings.


	82. Chapter 82

The expedition to the prothean ruins on XO323 was set to leave in five galactic standard days and Liara and Shepard decided to take a weekend away from the kids and Liara's exhaustive pre-trip planning to reconnect in anticipation of their upcoming long separation. Aethyta had 'graciously' agreed to watch the kids but annoyingly, had not responded to their calls in the last twelve hours, leading both Shepard but especially Liara, to be a little apprehensive as they returned back to their apartment. They decided to return home a few hours earlier than scheduled just to make sure everything was alright. As they entered the house, they became even more alarmed by the quiet calm that permeated because if it there was one thing the Shepard-T'Soni residence usually was not, it was quiet or calm.

Both women ran up the stairs and into Benezia's room, which was used almost every night as the girls' communal bedroom. They were relieved to see Edi quietly playing and talking to herself in one corner of the room with two lumps, which they assumed to be their other daughters, still occupying the bed. Edi turned to see her parents and a brilliant smile lit up her face.

"Mommy! Daddy!"

"Hi Sprout" "Hello, sweetheart"

Edi ran into her parents' awaiting arms. It was then that the lumps on the bed stirred and two heads became visible. After a moment, both girls shook off the sleepiness and came barrelling into their parents as well. After a moment of familial bliss, things got back to normal.

"Did you get us anything?", Benezia asked.

"Daddy? Now that you're back, can you make us blueberry pancakes? Grandpa's eggs are just runny and gross" Jacey opined.

"Maybe and maybe. Why are you girls still in bed? Where is your Grandpa?"

Benezia ran out of the room to go take care of her morning business while Jacey shrugged.

"What time is it? We were at the Fair late last night so I guess we overslept. Grandpa is with her girlfriend. She's really nice."

At the last bit, Shepard and Liara both looked at each other with shocked expressions on their faces. Liara spoke first.

"Grandpa's Girlfriend is here? Now?!"

"Uh-huh." Jacey nodded and then looked at her father again. "I'm really starting to get hungry."

"Okay. I get the message. Why don't you two help your Daddy fix up breakfast?" Shepard asked.

All four of them left the room, Liara to go put their things back in their bedroom while Edi and Jacey followed Shepard on their way to the stairs. As Shepard neared the guest bedroom, she got a wicked grin on her face as she raised her fist to pound on the wooden door. Before her fist connected with the door, Liara spoke out with a loud hiss.

"Don't you dare, Shepard!"

Shepard turned to face her wife, forcing the smile off her face.

"What?" Shepard responded in a loud whisper, "I was just going to invite the Lovebirds down to breakfast."

"Leave them alone. They will come out when they are ready."

"Oh, don't play all innocent with me. I know you're just as curious as I am."

Just then a gruff voice came from the other side of the door.

"We can hear you, dumbasses. The door was closed and locked for a reason!"

At that, the grin on Shepard's face returned and she addressed the door.

"I didn't know that I wasn't allowed to speak in the hallway of my own damn house. I just wanted to invite you and..." Shepard hesitated, "your guest down to breakfast. It should be ready in about 15 minutes."

"We'll be down when we're good and ready!", came Aethyta's voice while another voice came from further away from the door. "Thank you."

Shepard thought the voice sounded vaguely familiar but then she found that she thought all matriarchs sounded the same, with the exception of Aethyta who had, no doubt, engaged in some highly questionable and unhealthy practices in her past. At least, Shepard hoped that it was another matriarch or at least a matron and not some maiden hundreds of years her junior that was currently sharing Aethyta's bedroom with her. Shepard shrugged and moved away from the door. As she passed her wife in the hall, she whispered.

"Well, at least she's more polite than your father even though that's not saying much at all."

About a half hour later, the kitchen was abuzz with the sounds of three young and one slightly older asari eating their breakfasts while their human continued to stand over the grill, cranking out pancakes. Shepard was just bringing out the last plate of cakes when she heard footsteps on the stairs. Shepard quickly put the plate down and sat at her place, making a shushing sound to the kids.

"I want you to be on your best behavior while your Grandpa's friend is here, girls", Liara whispered to her daughters.

Benezia looked at her mother, confused. "Why? She was with us the whole weekend and we didn't have to be good!"

"Benezia", her mother warned.

Both Shepard and Liara put down their forks and put on smiles as the two older asari entered the dining room. The smiles left their faces as Aethyta's girlfriend followed her through the door.

"Alecta?!", Shepard blurted out as Liara's face turned a dark shade of blue.

"Good morning, Shepard. It's good to see you again. And you as well, Liara. I trust your trip went well?"

After her initial shock wore off, Shepard remembered her manners.

"It's good to see you too, Alecta. Why don't you two sit down and fix yourselves a

plate." Shepard stood up. "What can I get you two to drink?"

"Coffee, black", was Aethyta's gruff reply.

"I would love some tea, if it's not too much trouble."

"No trouble at all. Coming right up."

When Shepard returned with the two drinks, she noticed a definite chill in the air. She listened to the conversation as she placed the drinks in front of the two matriarchs. Aethyta narrowed her eyes as she spoke.

"Alecta asked you a question, Daughter."

To Shepard's surprise, Liara did not respond. She looked at her wife. Her mouth was set in a straight line and she had that cold look in her eyes that Shepard recognized as Liara's 'beyond pissed' look. She noticed that even the girls were quiet, looking down at their plates, well aware of the tension and of their mother's bad mood. To try to break the tension, Shepard smiled and spoke.

"What did I miss?"

"Alecta asked your bondmate a simple, friendly question and she's being an ass! What's your problem?" Aethyta responded, looking at her daughter.

"Okay, if you must know, you are disgracing the memory of my mother, your bondmate and" Liara cut a disgusted look at Alecta "and your supposed best friend. And you are doing it in front of my children!"

"Liara!", Shepard exclaimed, completely confused and shocked by her wife's behavior.

Alecta quickly stood. "I am sorry that you feel that way, Liara. I feared that you might be a little surprised by our friendship but I never imagined that you would find it so disagreeable. I think it's best if I leave."

Despite her calm words, Shepard could clearly see the look of hurt in Alecta's eyes.

Aethyta bolted up. "If you leave, then I leave and I'll be damned if I return until you" she jabbed her finger at Liara "apologize."

When Liara didn't say anything more, both women quickly left the kitchen. Shepard stood in shock a moment before running to catch up with them. As the two women reached the door, Aethyta setting a fast pace, she caught up with them.

"Wait a minute you two. I don't know what's gotten into Liara but don't worry about it. She'll come around. You're welcome here any time."

Alecta smiled at Shepard. "I'm not angry with Liara. If anything, I'm angry with myself. I did not foresee such a reaction to our relationship. I forget that she is still just a maiden who lost her mother only about a decade ago under horrendous circumstances. I should have predicted that seeing us together might cause her pain. Esecially now when she must be feeling stressed about her upcoming expedition."

"Yeah. You're probably right. I know she still misses her mother sometimes. And she really doesn't like surprises. She's probably just in shock. She'll get over it."

"She better be quick about it because she's being an ass!", Aethyta said, ever the diplomat.

Despite the tension, Shepard couldn't help but smile seeing the two women together. And try as she might, she couldn't help but comment further.

"So, Aethyta, did you help her take it out?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Shepard's smile grew wider as she spoke again.

"The stick that you said was shoved so far up Alecta's ass? Did you manage to get it out? And Alecta, I imagine you finally realized what Benezia saw in this course, uneducated brute?"

Aethyta growled at Shepard and moved towards her menacingly but Alecta only laughed and caught her lover's arm.

"You are quite right, Shepard. It would seem that we both came to appreciate each other's more hidden charms."

When Shepard returned to the kitchen, she overheard Liara chastising their oldest daughter.

"But why didn't you tell me that your grandfather's girlfriend was Auntie Alecta?"

"You didn't ask!", Jacey protested.

"Who wants to go swimming?", Shepard asked the room.

"Me!", came the resounding reply from all three girls.

"Well then, why don't you girls go put your suits on. I need to talk to Mommy alone for a minute."

Once the girls left, Shepard walked over behind Liara's chair, put her hands on her wife's shoulders and gave them a little squeeze.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"What is there to talk about? It's disgusting. I can't believe that they would both betray my mother like that! I thought my father loved my mother!"

Benezia had been gone for 11 years now and the relationship between her and Aethyta had ended about a 100 years before that but Shepard thought it best not to mention it. This was obviously not a rational objection.

"I think it's kind of sweet."

Liara turned her head around to look at Shepard in astonishment.

"Think about it, honey. The only reason that those two very different women got together is because of their love for your mother. And for you. It's not an insult to your mother's memory. It's a testament to it."

"I disagree. Let's talk about something else. We don't have that much time left before I have to leave and I don't want to waste it talking about them."

About a week later, Shepard sank down into her couch after finally getting dinner served and the dishes done. Liara had left two days ago and even though they both assured the kids that she would be back in no time, Shepard could tell that they missed their mother. As a result, they had been cranky and disagreeable and Shepard had her hands full. To make matters worse, Aethyta was still pissed off by her daughter's hostility towards Alecta and had not been there when they all said goodbye to Liara. Shepard thought that Aethyta would get over it sooner rather than later if only to see her granddaughters but it still meant that she was on her own with the girls for the time being.

Shepard had just put her head back and shut her eyes when the crying began. Her head snapped up to look at her daughters at the other side of the room. As a soldier, Shepard had been trained to quickly assess a situation to identify dangers and decide on the correct course of action. Her life had often depended on it. But when it came to her sneaky daughters, it was often hard to discern what had happened and what was happening. All she could see was that Edi was crying, Jacey was purple-faced and Bene was getting ready to hit Jacey. Shepard bolted up to separate the girls.

"That's enough! If you can't behave, you're both going to timeout! Now, both of you, separate corners!"

"She started it!", Benezia exclaimed.

"I did not, Benezia, you brat. You started it. And you hit poor Edi trying to get to me."

"I don't care who started it. I don't want any more yelling or teasing and definitely no more hitting for the rest of the night. This is your last warning."

Both girls grudgingly went to chairs as far away as possible from each other as Shepard picked Edi up and kissed her forehead.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?"

Edi buried her face in her father's shoulder and continued crying, the tears streaming down her face. Shepard held her tightly and ran her hand up and down her back in an effort to sooth her youngest daughter. It was then that Shepard turned around to look at her other daughters. First Benezia and then Jacey started crying in their chairs. Shepard sighed. Three kids having full-blown emotional breakdowns and one parent. Just as Shepard was formulating a plan, the door bell rang. She could only hope it was Aethyta but then she rarely, if ever, rang the bell. Great. Three upset kids and a visitor.

Shepard opened the door with the crying Edi still in her arms. She was surprised to see Samara and Falere standing at her doorstep. After a moment, Samara spoke.

"Hello Shepard. It's good to see you. May we come in?", Samara asked.

"Of course! Sorry. I'm having a little trouble with the girls right now and I wasn't expecting you."

Shepard stepped aside to let the two women in and noticed that they were both carrying a bag. Although Shepard had told Samara many times before that she and her daughter were welcome to stay with them any time, she was surprised that they were here without sending so much as a message beforehand. It was all very odd.

Falere entered the living room and both Jacey and Benezia ran up to her to give her a hug, their faces still wet with tears. And then, of course, they started fighting again.

"Get away, Benezia! You're supposed to stay on your chair!"

"I get to say hi to Falere. You get away!"

"I want to say hi to both of you. I will not have you fighting. You are sisters and sisters are supposed to love each other, not fight."

Samara and Shepard entered the living room together.

"So Samara. I take it you and Falere are staying with us for a while?", Shepard asked.

"That is correct. I apologize for not calling ahead of time but my duties prevented me from doing so. I will be leaving shortly to carry out those duties and I trust that Falere will be fine here with you and the girls?"

Shepard became more than suspicious. The timing was just too convenient. She suspected that her absent bondmate had set her up.

"I'm only going to ask you this once. Did Liara put you two up to this?"

"Up to what? If our presence is inconvenient, we can leave."

"That's not what I'm saying and you know it. I can take care of my own children by myself!"

Samara looked at the three children with tears in their eyes and the apartment, which was in a state of considerable disarray. Without the slightest sarcasm in her voice, Samara responded.

"I can see that, Shepard."

At that, Falere stood up and walked over to stand in front of Shepard, her head down as she spoke.

"I understand, Shepard. You have been very kind to me but it is obvious that you do not trust me around your children. I will leave immediately."

At that, both Benezia and Jacey exclaimed, "No!" while Shepard sputtered out an adamant response.

"That is absolutely not true, Falere! That is not what I was saying at all. Of course, you are more than welcome here."

"Good. Then it's settled." Falere let a small smile slip on her face. "Will I be staying in the same guest room as last time?"

"This is so unfair! Since when did you learn to be manipulative, Falere?" Shepard asked, her voice incredulous. "You need to stay away from Liara. She's a bad influence on you!"

Liara stood up from her bent position, put her hands on her hips and leaned back to try to relax the kink in her back muscles. It had been a grueling couple of days, after the weeks of boredom travelling to XO323, hurriedly unloading all their equipment and setting up camp. Liara had barely slept since arriving on the planet as she was too impatient to get to their investigation of the long-abandoned prothean settlement to want to spend much time getting organized and set up to do so. She just sat down for a moment to take a breather and write a quick note to her family, which would take weeks to get to them, when one of her assistants came running up to her.

"Pardon me, Lady T'Soni...

"Please Ann, it's Liara. We are going to be working very closely together over the next several months. Lady T'Soni was my mother." Liara smiled at the younger human graduate student.

"Yes, ma'am, I mean, Liara. We found some equipment on the ship that is not listed on the manifest and we can't get the crate open. We don't know what to do with it."

Liara bounced up from her chair, a curious expression on her face as she followed Ann back towards their ship's cargo ramp.

"It's way back in the corner here. It was behind a bunch of other crates and no one remembers it being loaded."

Liara knelt in front of the large, locked crate. Unlike all the other crates, which had been numbered and labeled in order to make unloading and set-up easier when they arrived, this crate had absolutely no marking anywhere on his matte steel finish. Liara absentmindedly rested her hand on the top while looking for a way to open the crate and to her surprise, the lock suddenly sprung open. The top moved itself to reveal the contents within.

Liara had not seen so many large weapons since the War. The expedition had already been provided with an inventory of small weapons in the unlikely event that they would need to defend themselves from hostile predators but those had already been distributed to those members who agreed to double as security. Liara gasped as she spotted a case with the words M-920 Cain on it. Liara remembered them using this very same weapon to take down a Hades Cannon during the Battle for Earth years ago. On top of all the individually cased military-grade weapons was a small datapad. Liara touched it and once again it sprang to live, apparently keyed to her genetics as well.

'Better to have it and not need it then to need it and not have it- Shepard'

'PS I love you. I know you are rolling your eyes right now thinking that this is overkill but I worry. Just indulge me and keep these where you can get to them if you need them.'

Liara sighed and she did roll her eyes but she couldn't help but get a smile on her face as well. She turned towards her assistant once again.

'Why don't we just get this crate to my pre-fab? I don't think we will be needing these items in the foreseeable future."

Liara quietly watched the two fearsome creatures carefully in the gathering dusk as they ventured closer to the camp. She willed her biotics to gather around her fist as she watched them, just in case. They were becoming less afraid of her and the other people at the camp, no doubt lured by the promise of cheap and plentiful food. They had to be more careful with their refuse. The animals, which appeared to be some kind of large canine species, could be very dangerous if they completely lost their fear of the strange people who had suddenly appeared on their planet.

Liara sighed. They had so little time as it was but now she would have to divert some of her time to deal with this problem. She would have to devise some kind of humane trap so that the animals could be captured and then moved far away from their camp. She would never forgive herself if someone was attacked and hurt by one of the animals. Her archeology training had taught her not only to painstakingly excavate and carefully record everything at each dig site but to also respect the environment that the sites were in. Therum notwithstanding, she prided herself on leaving the planets that she had worked on in as good condition as when she had arrived. After all, this planet belonged to these creatures and Liara and her team were just visitors.

The animals moved a little closer. Liara continued to watch them. Suddenly, a horrible battle cry shattered the quiet of the night and three larger animals descended on the two poor canines out of nowhere. It was over almost before it began and the two much smaller animals were quickly destroyed by the larger animals. The larger animals started laughing triumphantly as they stomped the smaller animals into the ground. Liara was just about to fling out a stasis field to immobilize the three large creatures when she recognized one of them.

"Grunt?! By the Goddess, what are you doing here?"

The krogan whirled around at the sound of his name, completely unaware previously of the presence of the asari watching them. When he spotted Liara, he was momentarily stunned. After a moment, he had gathered enough of his senses to speak.

"Um. Ah. Grunt? Who is this Grunt? I don't know any Grunt."

Liara moved closer to the trio, her hands on her hips.

"Grunt. I know it's you. Did Shepard put you up to this?"

"Shepard. Who is this Shepard that you speak of? I am...Bart."

Liara shook her head. "Grunt. I know it's you. We've met several times. I invited you to my bonding ceremony."

"You are not krogan. Non-krogans can never tell us apart. You confuse me for someone else. I am sure that this Grunt that you speak of was very sorry that he couldn't make it to your bonding. I'm sure he was very busy."

Liara laughed softly. "Okay...Bart. This is a council-approved expedition. We were not told of any krogan participation. What are you doing here?"

"We were hired by a private third-party to provide security. Our clan leader directed us to defend this camp and all in it at all costs."

"And how is Wrex, I mean, your clan leader doing, Bart?"

"Very well. I'm sure he sends his regards, Liara. Or he would if he knew you."

Liara chuckled again. "Well, it's good to see you, Bart. My name is Liara but you somehow already know that. Why don't you follow me and I will get you set up with some quarters."

Liara turned and started to leave but after a few steps, she noticed that she was not being followed. She turned around again.

"Come on, Bart. It's getting late. Let's get you set up with quarters in the camp."

Grunt hesitated and looked uncertain. "Shep...I mean, the private third party that hired us instructed us that we were not to enter the camp or interfere with whatever it is you are doing here. We were told to keep watch away from the camp. You're not supposed to know that we're here."

Liara folded her arms across her chest and glared at the young krogan. "I am the clan leader here, Grunt. If Shepard or Wrex don't like it, they can take it up with me later."

Grunt considered a moment and then literally grunted and nodded his head to the two krogan behind him. He followed Liara who started moving back to the camp.

"We will get you some cots, get you some dinner and then if you want to set up a watch, you can. And I would appreciate it if you refrain from stomping the wild animals from now on. If any get too close to camp, we will trap them."

"Trap them? Why? Are they good eatin'?"

"No Grunt. We will not be eating them and we will not be killing them unless it is absolutely necessary to defend someone's life. This is their planet and they have more right to be here than we do."

Liara was so engrossed in trying to translate the tiny script found on the artifact that she did not hear her assistant enter the computer lab. She jumped when Ann broke the silence even though she spoke in a voice barely above a whisper. She seemed agitated and appeared to be struggling to keep her voice low.

"I'm sorry, Ann. Could you repeat that? I didn't hear you."

"I'm sorry to startle you and I'm sorry to bother you while you're working but I think you need to come quick. Your...friends are about to do something ill-advised and everyone else is too afraid to stop them."

Liara followed Ann as she ran out of the main research building and started running outside the camp. As they moved further away from camp, she saw their Assistant Head Researcher, Tom, talking and gesturing to Grunt who stood beside his two fellow krogan. Liara started running faster when she saw the Cain in Grunt's hands. Time seemed to stand still as Grunt brought the weapon up, pointed it at a nearby hill and squeezed the trigger.

Half the hillside disintegrated as the giant slug slammed into the rock and dirt. Everyone except the krogan ran for the safety of the camp as debris starting raining down from the skies. The three krogan roared with laughter as the dust finally settled. Liara, furious, marched back towards Grunt, who grew silent as she approached. Liara looked Grunt straight in the eye, her face completely devoid of emotion as she held out her hand.

"Give me the gun."

Grunt started to protest until he looked Liara in the eye and was then forced to look away. He reluctantly held out the weapon to Liara who grabbed it out of his hands. Grunt's two companions started laughing again, this time at Grunt's expense, until Liara fixed them, one after the other, with a withering stare. All three krogan fell silent. Liara turned away and started walking back towards the camp.

"You three, with me", Liara threw over her shoulder. The three krogan, their heads down, slowly followed Liara back to the camp.


	83. Chapter 83

Liara found her mind wandering and she startled herself in the quiet of the lab when she realized that it was she who was laughing out loud. The other researchers in the lab glanced her way briefly before she muttered 'sorry' softly before bending down and putting her eyes back on the microscope. She peered through the scopes and tried to concentrate on the images before her. They were trying to determine if the tiny scripts found in the weapon's handle had some significance or if they were just random designs.

The fact that they found a sword among the weapons left behind by the technologically -advanced protheans was fascinating. The problem for Liara is that her mind kept wandering. She thought of the joke that Benezia told her during her last video recording and started chuckling to herself again.

The problem was, as productive and successful as the expedition had been, Liara was ready to go home to her family. The good thing was that the expedition had been so successful that it was decided that the project would be extended for another year. Another ship carrying fresh supplies and equipment as well as replacement crew members for those who wanted to leave after their initial contract was over, was due to arrive next week.

Liara had declined the invitation to stay on as the expedition's leader so her Associate Director would be taking over. Part of Liara was surprised by her decision with so much data and discoveries yet to be found but most of her just wanted to get the hell off this rock and back to Shepard and the girls. It had been over seven months since she had seen them and the recordings from them that had been such a blessing when she first arrived now just made her sadder. Leaving the project would also afford her the opportunity to stop focusing on the 'practical' data found, for which she was being paid, and delve into the discovered but shelved data that was of no interest to anyone but academics like herself.

Liara admonished herself again for being distracted and was about to focus her attention again on the problem in front of her when she was again distracted, this time by the tell-tale footsteps of Grunt, which actually shook the pre-fab that they were in as he approached.

"Liara!"

"Grunt! How can I help you? Is there a problem with security?"

"When are we leaving again? This planet is boring."

"Well, I am leaving next week. I don't know when your private, 'unknown' third party will be sending a ship to pick you up."

"My employer told me that I'm leaving with you."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay on as security? The others have felt safer since you arrived and I'm sure they would appreciate your continued presence."

"Pffft. This planet is so safe, they don't need me or my men. They should just make the whole planet into a clutch and just make babies here."

Liara smiled. "Well, except for the insects that can kill with a single bite and the native animals that can tear a person apart in less than a minute, I suppose that's true. It is certainly more tame than Tuchanka."

Grunt just grunted in response, his eyes going to the sword that Liara was studying. Without warning, he picked the sword up and Liara had to step back as he swung it in the air.

"What's this?"

"That is what it appears to be. It is a sword left by the protheans. I am trying to determine if it was merely ceremonial or if swords such as these were actually used as weapons."

Again without warning, Grunt swung the sword up and down in an arc. It sliced into the table with Liara's equipment on it. The table was severed in half as her equipment went crashing to the floor. After a tense moment, Liara sighed and crossed her arms, looking at Grunt expectantly. Grunt at least had the decency to look chastened.

"Um, sorry. I'll pay for that. But I solved your problem. This is a weapon."

"It's not that simple, Grunt. I know it can be used as a weapon but was it? That can only be determined by examining the writing on the object for clues or by finding some mention of it in the records."

"It's a weapon. If it were just for show, they wouldn't bother keeping it that sharp."

Liara sighed again. "Come here." Grunt followed Liara to a computer terminal. "If you are interested, you can search through all these records found near where the weapons were located. These results show all mentions of the word 'sword'. Now, someone needs to sift through all of them until something concrete can be found about how swords were used in prothean society."

Liara watched as Grunt hesitated and then slowly put the sword down next to the computer and sat down at the terminal. He moved his head closer to the screen and peered at the results, stabbing at the holographic interface to move it to the next page. Liara smiled to herself. She would make a researcher out of the young mercenary yet. She was even more amazed when she returned a couple hours later to find Grunt still perched on the ridiculously small stool, his eyes glued to the screen and his large fingers still stabbing at the interface.

Galactic standard date 04202196 0:14:45

Dearest Aunt Alecta,

I was an idiot. I know that I hurt you deeply with my completely inappropriate words but I hope you give me the chance to make it up to you. I know that Shepard will probably invite you to be there when I return. I hope that you will accept. You will be welcome. Hopefully, we will be able to find time away from everyone when I can apologize in person and try to explain why I acted as I did.

With much love, Liara

Galactic standard date 04232196 0:22:34

Dearest Liara,

I was very happy to receive your message and to know that you are well. You don't need to apologize and you don't need to explain. I am overjoyed that you wish to have me there when you return. I hope we can quickly put this behind us. I also hope you know that I truly care for her, if that was one of your concerns. May the winds and tides carry you safely and swiftly home.

With warmest affection,

Aunt Alecta

PS: Your bondmate already invited me to your home-coming. She told me that you could not get messages through to me, that you were very sorry and that you had asked her to tell me so I was surprised to get your message. Another 'spirit of the law' argument, I'm sure.

_Shepard stood outside her barracks, ramrod straight, as the Captain walked around her, examining her as if she were a lower life form. This was it, Shepard realized. She was caught and now, she would be gone. Maybe she shouldn't have used such a famous person as a fake reference when applying to the Academy. The Captain didn't say anything until he stood behind her and whispered low in her ear. _

_"The last thing that the Alliance needs is pretenders. We don't need dishonorable people who lie and cheat to get what they think that they want. Tell me Shepard, that is your real name, isn't it? There are almost no real records about you anywhere. But tell me because I'm sure that I'll find it amusing, why are you here?" _

_The Captain moved around Shepard until he was standing right in front of her, only a foot away as he stared her in the eye. Shepard looked straight ahead as she had been trained to do, refusing to look away despite how uncomfortable Captain Anderson was making her feel. She considered her answer. Maybe she should say what she thought he wanted to hear. Say some line from Alliance advertisements about duty and securing man's future in space. Instead, something in her gut told her to tell the truth. _

_"Because when I die, I don't want it to be like I was never here, sir!" _

_If Anderson was surprised at the answer, his face didn't show it. Instead, he just continued to stare at her for a few more moments. Finally, he turned away and started pacing. _

_"So what are we going to do with you, Shepard? What would you do with you if you were in command? You lied and you cheated. You used me as a reference to get into this Academy when I don't know you from Eve. You used my reputation without my permission. A reputation that I've worked very hard to build. Maybe I should just throw you out. Maybe I'm so angry that I don't even want to bother getting you a shuttle back to the mainland and I make you swim it instead. Maybe I should then tell you that if you want in the Alliance so bad, you can swim back." _

_Just then, a corporal came running up and saluted Anderson. Anderson nodded at him. _

_"The Commandant is requesting that you report to his office right away, sir. He wants to know if there is anything that he can help you with while you are here." _

_"Please tell him that I will be there shortly. I am just having a chat with this cadet here." _

_The corporal looked over the Captain's shoulder with a questioning look on his face until Anderson turned and followed his gaze. Shepard had moved to the shore some 50 yards away and was stripping out of her BDUs. Anderson's first impulse was to stop Shepard before she got in the water. If she drowned, it would be a mess of paperwork and it would probably make the news as well. But Anderson was curious to see how far she would take it. It was a little over 3 miles to the mainland from New Vancouver Island where the Alliance Academy was located. It would be a tough swim for a professional athlete even in the calmer seas that they had today and Anderson doubted that she could make it the whole way. How far before she turned around and headed back to the safety of land? Anderson debated with himself but finally, curiosity won out. He turned to the Corporal still at attention._

_"I need a boat, Corporal. Where can I get one?"_

_The Corporal looked at him quizzically. "A boat, sir?"_

_"You know, a vehicle designed to convey humans across water?"_

_"I think we have a couple of those at the old dock. No one ever uses them, I don't think. Not much use for boats in the Navy anymore."_

_"Take me there. Double-time it!" _

_By the time they got to the dock and located a working boat and returned to the coast where they were previously, it was almost an hour later and Shepard was almost half-way to the other shore. Her speed was impressive. Not as fast as a world-class swimmer but not too far below it. _

_"Cadet, I do not want to do a bunch of paperwork because you are too stupid to know when your superior is thinking out loud. You will not drown and that's an order. When you start to get fatigued, I want you to tell me and we'll get you in this boat. Understood?"_

_Shepard just briefly stopped and nodded before getting into her swimming cadence again. Shepard kept up a steady pace until about a half mile from the shore, she started to slow down. Anderson also noticed that she was keeping her head above water more to get in more breath. Anderson pulled the boat even with the cadet, confident that this demonstration by the stubborn recruit would soon be over. Instead, Shepard pushed through the pain in her shoulders and picked up her pace once again. _

_Anderson waited just beyond the shore in the boat once Shepard finally made it to the mainland. Shepard bent over, trying to catch her breath. She then stood back up and swung her arms in a circle and flung her legs out, trying to loosen her fatigued muscles._

"_Okay Cadet. You've made your point. I'll let you…"_

_Before Anderson finished her sentence, Shepard walked back into the water and started swimming for the island again. Anderson sighed and gave the controls of the boat to the corporal before taking off his boots. Anderson would let the cadet try to make it back but thought that he might just have to dive in after her when she got into trouble. _

"_Just keep the boat steady, Corporal. Keep it close to our hard-headed recruit here but stay behind her so that there's no wake for her to battle." _

_To Anderson's surprise, Shepard made it back to the island. She was panting when she finally stepped on the shore and her walk was wobbly but she made it. Anderson pushed the boat onto the shore where Shepard landed instead of bringing it back to the dock and waded the final few feet until he was standing in front of the cadet. Shepard stood at attention, struggling to keep her mouth closed and to get in enough breath only through her nose. Her expression was emotionless but Anderson noticed a flash of defiance and arrogance in her eyes. _

"_So, you can swim and you are reasonably fit. So what? Not much need for swimmers in the Alliance. I've seen wannabes like you before. You think you're smarter and tougher than everyone else. Think the rules don't apply to you. It's always the same with your type. The first time a batarian slaver fires at them or a turian charges them, they wet their pants and run away. They get their fellow soldiers killed. I'm going to give you a shot, Shepard. I'm not going to tell anyone that you lied on your application. But I'm going to be watching you. If I hear that you so much as cheated on a single homework assignment or lied about anything to one of your superiors then you're out. Do you understand me, Cadet?"_

"_Yes, sir!" _

"_Get out of here. And don't forget that you're on latrine duty for the next month starting tomorrow." _

_Shepard saluted and then double-timed it back to her barracks after collecting her boots and BDUs. Anderson watched her go and then typed into his omnitool. He then waved his omnitool over the corporal's. _

"_I just gave you a note. Midshipmen Shepard is to be excused from PT for the next two days but is to have latrine duty for the next month. I'm afraid I don't have time to go see the Commandant today after our little unexpected boat ride." _

"_Aye, aye, Captain." _

"_And make sure that this boat gets back to the dock." Anderson said as he turned away and walked quickly back to the shuttle landing. He had already wasted far too much time today. _

Shepard couldn't help but smile when she finished reading the story. She remembered that day as if it had happened yesterday even if it had been over nine years since the last day of the War, the day of Anderson's death, and the events of this particular story took place years before that. Kahlee Sanders had sent it to her after she found it in Anderson's notes, a part of the biography that never got published. Shepard did not include that specific story in her own biography of Anderson but she agreed with Kahlee that it should go in the program that was being created to go along with the opening and dedication of the newly-rebuilt Alliance Academy which was to be re-named the Admiral David E Anderson Alliance Academy.

They had asked her to speak at the dedication and she had readily agreed even though it would mean that she and the family would have to leave Thessia the day after Liara's return. Poor Liara would hardly get 26 hours back in her own home before she would have to leave it again to accompany Shepard and the kids to Earth. Liara had insisted that Shepard accept the invitation and she insisted on going as well despite the horrible timing.

Shepard was excited to bring the girls back to Earth and show them the planet. They had all visited before but this was the first time the entire family would be going and now that the girls were older, even little Edi was now six, she hoped that they would be better able to understand and appreciate the places that they visited. Ironically, their second family vacation to Earth would be taking place only eight months later as Shepard had already agreed to speak at the huge Victory Over the Reapers celebration that was scheduled to take place on the ten year anniversary marking the end of the War.

Shepard was just about to respond to Kahlee, giving her the go-ahead to use the story when she noticed the 'breaking news' scroll across the top of her monitor. The human councilor had been removed by the Executor of the Citadel for plotting against the other councilors. Shepard quickly scanned through the article and found that the newest, loser human councilor had been found to be plotting against the other councilors in an attempt to take over the Citadel.

Morell Gurnsey was elected as the human councilor after the disastrous term of the post-War councilor, Nathaniel Rogers. Councilor Rogers was removed after being found to be hopelessly corrupt, having used his position to get even richer than when he began. It was hoped that Gurnsey, known to be incorruptible and even richer than Rogers had been, would be a stable, compromise candidate that could help bring together the very divided Alliance parliament. It was hoped that he would be able to work with both the progressive faction of the Parliament and the Terra Firma clowns.

As it turned out, Gurnsey was a Terra Firma clown in secret and had been plotting to take over the Citadel, kick all the 'aliens' out of the Sol System and then break all ties with the other races. Shepard sighed. To say that the other races were upset was an understatement. Admiral Hackett was sent by the Alliance to personally try to smooth things over, his argument no doubt being, that the Terra Firma people did not represent the majority of humans. In fact, they did represent the views of about 30% of the population, a sizable minority and things were getting tense as the Terra Firma adherents fought against both the progressive faction and the moderate faction.

First there was Udina and then Anderson, who was generally regarded as a good representative for Earth but who soon quit to return to where he felt he belonged, then Rogers and finally, Gurnsey. Shepard was amazed that the other races had not voted humans out of the club already. She doubted very much that humans would be as forgiving or understanding of the nuances of politics if it was the turians who elected 3 bad councilors out of 4.

Shepard was still reading about the details of the attempted plot when another 'breaking news' alert scrolled along her monitor again. Admiral Hackett was stepping down as head of the fleet and was retiring from the Alliance military. Shepard sat in stunned silence. The man had worked tirelessly, both before the War and after, and he was retiring from the Alliance now during another crises? Shepard could hardly believe it. Hackett had a sterling reputation with both humanity and the other races. Even the Terra Firma clowns had a grudging respect for the man even though his own suspected political leanings were hostile to their interests. He could help everyone move past this latest debacle. Why would he quit now?

Shepard stopped reading and started listening to some of the talking heads from the different news organizations. Some of the news organizations theorized that Hackett was somehow involved in the Councilor's plot. Shepard quickly shut off those feeds. The thought was too ridiculous to even entertain. Other pundits theorized that Hackett himself was going to run to be the next human Councilor. Shepard thought about that for a moment until a smile took over her face and then she laughed.

That was it! It had to be. Hackett's sense of duty was greater than anyone's she had ever met. If he was needed, he would be there even if it meant taking on a completely different role than the one he had fulfilled previously. It was then that Shepard received a new message, almost on cue. It was Admiral Hackett. He was asking to see her when they came to Earth next week. He invited them to dinner the night after the dedication and said that even if she declined that invitation, it was urgent that he speak to her privately.

It was perfect. If there was one man who could bring humanity together again and help to hold the Citadel community together, it was Hackett. Shepard wasn't one for politics but she would help this man get elected in any way she could. Hackett was one potential politician that Shepard could back without reservation and if he needed her to break her self-imposed prohibition against public speaking or talking to the press, she'd do it whole-heartedly.


	84. Chapter 84

_ The Commander's face got bright red as he stared at Shepard. When he spoke, his voice was higher than usual and his anger was clear to all the junior officers and non-comms present. _

_ "You have your orders, Ladies and Gentlemen. Get your men to make camp. We can continue our investigation in the morning. Everyone is dismissed except Second Lieutenant Shepard. Give us the room."_

_ The room was actually a make-shift tent set up in the middle of a low valley on the planet of Akuze. The company of marines had been sent to investigate the mysterious disappearance of a small colony there. When they arrived, they found the small settlement intact but completely deserted. The unit had traced an emergency beacon to this location but the planet's night was closing in. The others quickly left, grateful that it was not them that had incurred their volatile commander's wrath. Once everyone had left the tent, Commander Dale was on top of Shepard in an instant. _

_ "Don't you ever question my orders again! Who the fuck do you think you are? You think you know best because you're a cadidiot out of the Academy? Or maybe because you just happened to be on Elysium during the Blitze and managed not to get killed? Let me tell you something. I've served for 15 years in the Alliance and I didn't get to be an officer because I managed to pass some classes at that bum chum school of yours. I did it the hard way. By actually being out here, on the front lines, moving up the chain by facing actual combat that always leave you cadidiots pissing in your pants and begging for your mommas." _

_ Shepard bit her tongue. One of the things that she had learned on the street was that one never backed down from an attack, verbal or physical. It was a behavior that she had to unlearn once she joined the Alliance, especially when the attack come from one's superior officer. This particular superior had been on her since she joined the unit, constantly spewing the same, tired stereotypes about Academy officers that she had endured from other mustangs. What she could not unlearn and what had allowed her to survive the Blitze and the other smaller combat situations that she had already endured in her short military career, was her instinct. When the little hairs on the back of her neck stood up, she listened. _

_ "I meant no disrespect, sir. I just think it would be prudent to camp back at the settlement or camp on higher ground, sir. Something just isn't right here. People don't just disappear and camping on top of that ridge would give us a tactical advantage." _

_ "A tactical advantage over what? Sensors show that there isn't anything alive within a hundred clicks of here. You seriously want us to hump all the way back to the colony and then back again tomorrow morning because you're chicken shit?" _

_ Shepard bit her tongue again before responding. _

_ "As I said, sir, something happened to those colonists. That is not fear, that is a fact. Since we are completely in the dark here, I just think it's a good idea to take every precaution and to follow the regs and either take to higher ground or to retreat to a location that has been cleared." _

_ "Fuck the regs. This is a wild goose chase and everyone knows it except for you. Those colonist were taken by the fucking Batarians, who are now long gone. I'm not wasting any more time on this bullshit." _

_ "If they were taken by Batarians, there would be bodies and blood and slug holes in the pre-fabs."_

_ "Not if they came in force and scared the shit out of the colonists so badly that they didn't even try to fight back. I've seen this before and I am just about done with explaining my orders to you. Do as you were told or I will relieve you of your command." _

_ Shepard knew it was futile to continue. She was ordered to set up camp and have her squad get some shut-eye. But that didn't mean that she couldn't be on watch tonight. She had no intention of sleeping one wink. The hairs on the back of her neck told her not to. _

_ A few hours later, the camp was quiet with most of the men in their camping bunks. Shepard was walking the perimeter of the camp when she first felt the slight tremor. She scanned the inside of the camp with her night-vision specs but saw nothing moving. She then scanned outside the camp as the shaking grew stronger. She was about to dismiss the shaking as a quake when the giant worm burst out of the ground on the other side of camp, sending rocks and dirt everywhere and seemingly taking the entire command tent into its gullet. _

_ 'What. The fuck. Is that?!' Shepard thought as she started running towards the thing, switching her rifle to auto and to heavier rounds. The other marines starting running out of their tents, rifles in hands as the large head started screeching. A few of the marines closest to the monster unloaded their rifle into the thing, drawing its attention, seemingly with no effect. It was then that the thing turned its head and something flew out of its mouth, headed straight for one of the marines that had fired on it. The man screamed in agony as the green substance hit him, burning through his armor and down to the skin and muscle. The other marines that had fired started running away in horror as the acid from the creature burned away the armor and flesh on the man's arm until nothing remained but bone. _

_ Shepard ran towards the creature, ordering marines to follow her until they were in range. _

_ "Concentrated fire! Fire into its mouth!", Shepard commanded as she came to a stop in front of the creature. Ten marines fired their rifles into the mouth of the beast until their weapons overheated and it didn't even seem to wound the monster. The creature then spit out more acid in their direction. Shepard pushed the man next to her out of the way and then rolled in an attempt to dodge the in-coming stream. She felt heat on her back as a couple traces of the acid burned into her armor. She quickly released the top part of her suit and got out of it as quickly as possible but not before she could feel some of it burning through the skin on her back. _

_ "Grenades!" Shepard yelled as some of the marines started running away. Those that had them, scrambled to pull them out of their belt pouches with shaking hands. Did this thing even have eyes? "Aim for the head!" _

_ The monster kept turning its head to spit at the various other groups of marines now poring slugs into the thing so it was almost impossible to accurately throw the grenades. Finally, a few hit the target and with a final screech, the head of the thing withdrew into the ground again. The men who had been hit with the green slime were screaming in agony. The others stood with their over-heated rifles in their hands, panting and wild eyed. _

_ Just as they thought they had killed the thing or at least hurt it enough to scare it away, the giant worm burst out of the ground once again. This time it opened the earth directly below the marines who ran out of camp. _

_ 'It must be attracted by the vibration', Shepard thought, 'and it burst right through this dirt like it was nothing.' It made sense. The command tent had been set up right in front of the emergency beacon that brought them there. Shepard scanned the horizon and saw the rocky ridge less then a click away. The same ridge that Shepard had recommended that they camp on to the Commander. Where was the Commander? Who was in charge? Most of the officers would have either slept in the command tent or with their squads. There was no time to think about that. The beast could go through dirt like a warm knife through butter but could it travel so easily through rock? Shepard was betting that it couldn't. They had to try to run for the safety of those rocks! _

_ Shepard motioned for the rest of the remaining marines to gather around her as the monster actually bit the remaining marine that ran in half. Shepard tried to speak quietly and evenly as she could. _

_ "Listen up. We need to retreat to those rocks. I think this thing is attracted by vibration so I want a staggered retreat. Keep your distance from each other and walk as slowly and as softly as you can. I'm going to set up some beacons to try to draw it away." _

_ Shepard took the chance of running to a location on the edge of camp, away from the rock formation as the surviving marines walked as softly as the could towards the formation. Just as Shepard set the beacon, the creature's head disappeared under ground once again. Shepard moved away from the beacon as quickly and as softly as she could. She felt the rumbling under her feet and held her breath, expecting the ground to explode around her as she was swallowed whole by the worm. _

_ Instead, she watched helplessly as the marines in her company start running for the rocks. Not only were they running but they were all grouped together way too close. She could almost feel the rumbling under her feet as the creature made a beeline for them. As she feared, the giant head erupted right in the middle of the group, swallowing a few of them whole and chewing a couple more while she raced to put up another beacon. _

_ The remaining marines fired their weapons into the monster and threw whatever grenades they had left at the thing while others continued to run towards safety. Stung, the creature finally once more retreated under ground. Shepard set another beacon near the last, hoping that the added vibration would attract it back towards camp, giving the remaining marines a chance to make it to what she hoped was safe ground. _

_ Instead, the worm burst through the ground again in the middle of the running men and women, seemingly determined to not let any escape. When the worm once again retreated under, Shepard started jumping up and down, desperate to give them a chance. There were only a few men left now and they were so close to their target. _

_ Shepard watched as the creature emerged once again, killing three of the remaining marines instantly. There was just one remaining marine. Even at a distance, Shepard recognized it as Corrigan. The thin, wiry kid was part of her squad and he always was the fastest person she had ever met. He was so close, maybe about twenty feet away from the rocks when the creature fired a stream of green acid at his retreating back. He started screaming in agony, still running, until he fell forward on his knees. After several minutes of screaming, his body went limp and he fell flat on the ground. _

_ Shepard moved as far away from the beacons as she could while still walking slowly and softly as the monster's head disappeared from view. She knew that this was probably it. It was just her now and she did not see how she could possibly survive this one. As expected, the worm surfaced from underneath the beacons, only about 50 feet from Shepard. _

_ It turned its head from side to side. Shepard was in plain view with no cover nearby to duck behind. She stayed as still as she could, hoping that the beast did not 'see' in the traditional sense. She had to resist the almost overwhelming urge to fire at the beast. Her rifle alone would never be enough to bring it down and firing on it would just bring its attention to her. After what seemed like forever, the creature finally retreated back under ground once again. _

_ She waited for the end to come, staying perfectly still, for what seemed like hours but was probably only minutes. When it become clear that the creature was gone or at least, was taking a break, Shepard began thinking of her options. It would be too risky to try to make it back to the settlement. She could wait where she was, in the flat valley but she suspected that it was the creature's home or at least, it was where the thing could travel with ease. _

_ The only real option was to try to make it to the rocky ridge. She had to believe that such ground would be much harder for the monster to move through. It was her only chance. She knew that by now, the SSV Budapest, the cruiser that brought them there, would be able to read through the atmospheric interference that prevented communications and would see that the life signs for the marines were off line. She had to hope that they would soon be preparing a rescue detail. She would make it to the ridge and then turn on her personal locator beacon and then hope that they found her before the worm came back. _

_ A half hour later, she was still making her way slowly and steadily towards the rocks. The threat of immediate death now past for the moment, her adrenaline was wearing off and the burn on her back was screaming at her, making every step torture. She grit her teeth together and forced herself to quietly continue forward. With the pain, came the thoughts, as she moved silently by the remains of her unit. What if the marines would have had a better chance of surviving if they had stayed in camp and just remained still and quiet as she had done? What if by ordering them to try to make it to the ridge, she had sent them all to certain death? _

_ She walked past what was left of each marine and forced herself to look at each one to make sure that there was no sign of movement or life. The sight was beyond gruesome. Some of them were nothing more than body parts. Others had their flesh burned away right down to the bone. _

_ You fucked up, Shepard. They're all dead because you fucked up! What was that emergency beacon even doing out there in this valley and what the fuck happened to those colonists?_

* * *

_ Shepard snapped to attention in front of the inquiry board, her face set in stone. She realized at that moment that she felt no fear or apprehension about the decision that they were about to share with her. Her body in the perfect attention stance not out of respect to those before whom she now stood in judgment but simply out of habit born from years of training. She simply didn't care about their judgment of her or what direction her life would take after this moment. She knew what happened and that was punishment enough. The Captain cleared his voice. _

_ "It is the decision of this body that 2nd Lieutenant Shepard was not in any way responsible for the deaths of her squad or the other squads in Bravo company on the colony of Akuze. This body commends 2nd Lieutenant Shepard on her bravery and determination in surviving the attack and recommends that she be promoted to the rank of 1st Lieutenant for her actions. This matter is now dismissed with prejudice and it is the order of this body that the records be sealed. Dismissed." _

_ Shepard froze for just the briefest of moments before turning on her heel and leaving the room. Not only did they not blame her, they were recommending that she be promoted. While the bodies of her squad and those of the other squads in Bravo company were still being identified and in most case, reconstituted, so that they could be returned to their families. And what did that mean that the records were being sealed? Did that mean that they already knew what happened on Akuze or that they just didn't care? _

_ Later that night or actually, early the next morning, Shepard found herself in trouble once again. Specifically, she found herself in a holding cell in Vancouver, her head throbbing, from the alcohol she had consumed or the punches she had taken, she couldn't be sure. She looked down at her blood-covered hands and tried to move all her fingers. The pinky on her left hand was busted for sure, though she was pretty sure that most of the blood was not her own and came from the faces that she had beat her fists against. She moved over to the sink and washed her hands and arms and then her face. The adrenaline finally starting to drain from her body, her finger started to throb as well. She wondered if they would still be recommending her for that promotion now. _

_ She didn't have to wonder long as just a few hours later, the stern face of none other than Captain David Anderson appeared outside her cell. The guard dropped the energy field and Anderson said just three words to her before turning away and walking back out of the cell block. _

_ "You. With me." _

_ To Shepard's surprise, Anderson continued to not say a single word during the skycar ride back to Alliance HQ. When they got to Alliance housing, instead of just dropping Shepard off, he parked the skycar and followed her to her room, silent. Once she opened the lock on her door, he stepped around her and entered the room before her. Once she locked the door behind her and then threw herself down on her couch, she broke the silence. _

_ "Are you going tell me what a jackass I am now or are you just going to stand there?" _

_ In a flash, Anderson was on her, standing so close to her that she barely had the space to stand when the order came._

_ "On your feet, Lieutenant! Who do you think you are? I am a Captain in the Alliance and you are a subordinate." _

_ Shepard sprang up and stood at attention, her eyes straight ahead. Anderson moved his face until they were almost nose to nose. _

_ "Do you feel sorry for yourself, Lieutenant? The thresher maw didn't finish you off so now you are trying to finish the job yourself. Picking fights with civilians in the seediest bar you could find. You can't think of a more original way to try to kill yourself? I asked you a question, Lieutenant!"_

_ "No, sir!"_

_ "No, sir what?"_

_ "No, sir! I do not feel sorry for myself, sir." _

_ "I think you do. Oh woe is me! I'm still alive when I should be dead. I alone have this burden. The men that were under your command would trade with you in a second, don't you think, Lieutenant?"_

_ The question was like a slap in the face and Shepard had to bite the inside of her mouth to stop herself from yelling or hitting Anderson or worse yet, crying. _

_ "I asked you a question, Soldier!"_

_ Shepard paused for a moment so that she could get further control of her emotions. Despite it, her voice quivered a little when she spoke. _

_ "Yes, sir."_

_ "Yes, sir what?" _

_ "Yes, sir. The men that were under my command would rather be here alive then me." Shepard paused again. "And I would give them their wish if I could." _

_ "Well, you don't get to make that choice and neither do they. That's just how it goes sometimes. You got lucky. They got unlucky. But I'll tell you what would piss them off. If you are the only one lucky enough to make it off that shit planet and then you go and kill youself because you are too weak to deal with it. Any one of them would trade with you in a second. You don't have the right to throw away the gift that you've been given that those unlucky bastards didn't get." _

_ When Shepard did not respond, Anderson backed off. Finally, Shepard spoke._

_ "You were right about me, sir."_

_ "How so? What are you talking about?" _

_ "Back in the Academy. You said that I was cocky and selfish and that I'd get people killed. Those marines died because of me." Despite her best efforts, Shepard's eyes watered as she said it. _

_ "At ease, Shepard. Have a seat." Anderson waited until Shepard was seated. "Did you lie in your report?"_

_ "No, Sir!"_

_ "Well then, you didn't get those men killed. You did everything you could."_

_ "But if I hadn't ordered those men to try to retreat to the rocks..._

_ "They probably would have died anyway. Your order gave them a chance to try to survive. It didn't work out but that doesn't change the facts. I probably would have made the same decision, given the unknowns of the attack."_

_ "I knew something was off from the start! I could feel that it wasn't a safe place to camp! I should have pushed harder with the Commander."_

_ "And it wouldn't have made any difference if you had. He wasn't going to listen to you and that was his mistake. If you had pushed harder, he would have just relieved you of command."_

_ "But I should have tried harder!"_

_ "So, next time you will. If you decide to stay in and if you decide not to try to get yourself killed. Regardless, you've got to decide whether you want to live or die. And you better make it quick. Your assignment has been changed. You are to report to Rio this Sunday no later than 0900 hours and you are now 1st Lieutenant Katherine Shepard."_

_ Shepard could not keep the look of shock off her face and she turned her eyes to look into Anderson's. _

_ "I've been selected for ICT, sir?"_

_ "That's right. And who knows. If you decide not to kill yourself, N school might do it for you. It's killed more than a few trainees over the years." _

_ "But why, sir?" _

_ "But why what?"_

_ "Why was I selected for N school when all I did was get my squad killed?" _

_ "Again, I think you overstate your importance. You did not get your squad killed. The maw did that. The Alliance seems to think that it was more than just dumb luck that you survived. They seem to think that you have some skills and talents that will be useful to us." _

_ "And what do you think, sir?" _

_ "I recommended you. I think you are still undisciplined. I think you are still fucked up by your childhood and it makes you emotionally weak. But I think you have natural talents that most just do not have and probably can never have. I don't know if you survived Akuze because you are tougher or faster or smarter than the others or if it really was just dumb luck. But I do think if you can get through this, you can be one of the best soldiers that the Alliance has. You can make a difference. You can save lives." _

_ Anderson sat down next her. _

_ "It's always tough, you know. But the first time that you lose people under your command, it's the toughest. But it doesn't get easy. You have to decide. You can go kill yourself. You can walk away from the Alliance and go do something else. Or you can stay and I can guarantee you two things. One, you will lose more people. It will happen. It doesn't matter how good a leader you are or how well prepared you are or how good at killing you are. Shit will happen and people will die. Number two, you will do some good. You will save some lives. Most people, in most jobs, when they retire, they ask themselves whether anything they did made one bit of difference. If you make it to retirement, you won't ask that question. You might ask whether anything you did made anything better but you won't ask if you made a difference." _

_With that, Anderson put his hand on Shepard's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. He then stood up and headed towards the door. He stopped when he heard Shepard speak again. _

_ "Thank you, sir."_

_ "Don't thank me yet. You're headed to Rio."_

* * *

Shepard woke up in the darkened hotel room and sat straight up. She could still feel the warmth of Anderson's hand on her shoulder. Liara, sensing the disturbance next to her, woke up too.

"Are you alright?", Liara sleepily asked, "Did you have a nightmare?"

"Kind of. It started out that way."

Liara sat up as well and started rubbing her bondmate's back.

"Was it about the War? Maybe being back on Earth is stirring up those memories again?"

"Oddly enough, no. It had nothing to do with the War. It was about Anderson. Way before the War. It was about Akuze. I'm just remembering all those times when he helped me. Since the very first time I met him. I never even realized it as it was happening. I never really got the chance to thank him."

"He loved you."

"I know. That's just it, I never realized that I loved him too. I thought he was kind of a pain in the ass at the time. Always pushing me. Never letting me give up. I remember all those times that I kept going just because I wanted to...I guess, impress him, would be the right word."

Liara smiled and leaned her head into Shepard's shoulder.

"That's what children do with their parents. The good ones anyway. Even as I was rebelling against my Mother, there was a part of me that was still trying to impress her. And here you thought you were an orphan."

Shepard smirked. "I guess I was being too literal with that one."

"He was proud of you. I'm sure of it."

Shepard smiled even as a few tears rolled down her face.

"He told me as much. At the very end."

Liara leaned in closer and hugged Shepard.

"Are you okay?"

Shepard separated herself from Liara and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Yeah. I promise. Now, we better both get some sleep or I'll be so tired at the dedication ceremony tomorrow that I'll flub my lines. The Old Man would never let that one go."


	85. Chapter 85

Shepard and Liara were just about to leave the post-dedication party when they spotted Kahlee Sanders and her new husband, James Hoffs, walking towards them. The dedication of the new Admiral David E Anderson Alliance Academy went off without a hitch and they were both glad to be able to just relax now that it was over. Despite very much wanting to leave, Shepard was glad to see Kahlee headed towards them because she had not had a chance to say anything to them before the ceremony. Shepard smiled and moved forward to give Kahlee a hug.

"I'm so happy to see you again, Kahlee."

Kahlee beamed back at Shepard and returned the hug.

"And I am glad to see you, Shepard! David would have been so proud today."

"Proud but embarrassed and probably a little annoyed. He always hated all this pomp and ceremony."

Kahlee laughed. "Yes, that sounds like David."

"You've met Liara, my bondmate, before?" Shepard asked.

Kahlee smiled and shook Liara's hand.

"Of course. She was with you when you saved our students on the original Grissom's Academy. It's been too long, Liara." Kahlee then turned her husband. "And I'd like you both to meet my husband, James Hoffs. I'm sorry that we didn't invite you to the wedding but we decided not to have one."

"It's very nice to meet you, James." Liara said and shook his hand.

"A pleasure." Shepard said and shook his hand as well. "So, you two crazy kids just eloped together? I never pegged you for a romantic, Kahlee."

"And it is a pleasure you meet you both." James beamed a brilliant smile. "Kahlee has told me so much about you both. All of it good."

At that, Kahlee moved closer to Liara and expressed her love for Liara's dress. The two women started chatting pleasantly until Liara announced that she had to retire to the ladies room. Kahlee quickly followed her there and Shepard saw her chance. She moved until she was very close to James and took his hand to shake it again.

"So, I'm sure that she told you how Kahlee and I met, huh?"

"Oh yes, Ms. Shepard. She told me all about your heroism and how she and her students never would have escaped the original Grissom Academy if it were not for you and your squad."

Shepard increased the pressure on the man's hand.

"And I'm sure she told you about David?"

The man appeared to be getting a little uncomfortable with how close Shepard was standing to him and he reflexively backed a step away as he spoke.

"Of course. She told me they were close. Very close at one time. He was a great man. I wish I had had the opportunity to know him."

Shepard stepped closer to him again and increased the pressure on his hand.

"He was a great man. And he was kind of like a father to me. I'd be a bad daughter if I didn't look after the people he cared about because he is no longer here to do it."

James smiled through the pain in his hand and held up his other hand.

"Say no more, Admiral. I've heard about your protective streak but you need not worry about me. Even if I were so inclined, I'm much too afraid of Kahlee myself to ever try anything."

Shepard laughed. A little too loud.

"Glad to hear it. Glad to hear it. Because you know, I am technically still a Spectre. I suppose there might be some circumstances where I would be brought up on charges for crimes committed but I'm pretty sure that I could kill you, right here, in front of all these people, say it was Spectre business and then leave with my lovely wife only a short time later." Shepard laughed again. A little too loud. "Of course, if I left too high a body count, sooner or later, they would send another Spectre after me. But I don't imagine that would happen for just one body or maybe not even for..."

"Shepard!"

Shepard's speech was cut short by Kahlee returning, a none-too-pleased expression on her face.

"You better not be threatening my husband! Jack told me what you said to her Robert. I swear, you are just like David that way. He was always very protective of the people he cared about but I am not some 20 year old damsel who needs to be looked after!"

Shepard let go of James's hand and despite the fact that James managed to keep smiling through the entire thing, he moved quickly back to his wife's side. Shepard tried her best innocent look.

"What?! Of course not! We were just chatting. I didn't say anything threatening! Isn't that right, James?"

When Kahlee looked away from Shepard to look at her husband, Shepard glared at the man.

"Ah, of course not. Shepard here was just asking me if we were going to Admiral Hackett's for dinner tomorrow night."

Kahlee would not be put off from finding the truth. Liara returned and Kahlee asked the question of her.

"What do you think, Liara? Did Shepard just threaten my husband with grave bodily harm?"

Despite the fact that Liara had just returned and had no idea what the context was behind the question, she answered without any hesitation or equivocation.

"Yes."

"Liara! You don't even know what we are talking about!", Shepard objected.

"I don't need to. I know you."

Shepard only shook her head as Kahlee and James both laughed.

* * *

Shepard spoke into her omnitool as soon as Liara was distracted and she could slip away from the reception for a moment. Steve Cortez answered her hail quickly. His voice sounded a little annoyed.

"Shepard. Are you going to be back on time to pick up the kids?"

"That's why I was calling, Steve. I was hoping you could watch the girls for just a little longer. I have somewhere I need to take Liara. It should just be a few hours longer."

"I don't know, Shepard. The girls are very...energetic tonight. And Carmen always gets a little crazy around the girls."

"Steve, are you trying to say that my children are a bad influence on Carmen?"

"No! Of course not. Your kids are great kids. It's just that all of them together..."

"Well, you and Irving were thinking of having another kid. Think of this as training."

Steve sighed and Shepard could tell that she was wearing him down.

"Come on, Steve. You know that Liara and I would love to have Carmen join us whenever you two need some time alone together."

"You live on Thessia. We live on Earth. You're not exactly a convenient babysitter."

"But that's just it, Steve. The girls love Carmen and they hardly ever get to see her. They need this time together to bond. To develop a real friendship. How many asari does Carmen see on a regular basis? You want her to know and like asari, don't you? In the interests of galactic unity? You don't want her growing up to be racist! You don't want her to grow up to be one of those Terra Firma clowns, do you?!"

"Seriously Shepard? You are really trying to say that my daughter, my sweet, caring, loving daughter will grow up to be a racist if we don't babysit your kids?"

"It could happen Steve! We must constantly be vigilant. The only way out of tribal thinking is by long-term, quality interactions between the races."

Steve couldn't help but let out a little laugh.

"You are completely full of shit sometimes, Shepard. I guess a few hours longer couldn't hurt."

"Great! I knew I could count on you. We should be back from London in a few hours. Maybe a little longer. We'll be back by tomorrow morning, early, for sure."

"Wait, what? London? You're going to London?! Tomorrow morning? No one said anything about a sleep-over."

"Thanks again, Steve. I really appreciate this. I'll see you in the morning."

Shepard cut the connection before Steve could get in another word.

* * *

Shepard started walking up another flight of stairs, pulling Liara by the hand behind her. Liara was starting to get annoyed. Not only was she pretty sure that they were not supposed to be inside the half-built Reaper War Memorial Building, but she also had not planned on walking up 50 flights of stairs in her heels after the reception. The building was 200 stories tall but the elevator did not go all the way to the top yet. Shepard was undaunted.

"Shepard, what are we even doing here? We aren't supposed to be in here."

"And why not? This building wouldn't even be here if it weren't for us. It's perfectly okay for us to be here."

"Is that why I saw you disabling security systems along the way? Because it is perfectly okay for us to be here."

"Come on, Liara. Didn't you ever sneak into someplace that you weren't supposed to be when you were a kid? Just for the fun of it."

"No. Never."

"That's not true. You snuck onto that turian's shuttle after he 'stole' those priceless artifacts."

"That was to prevent a galactic crime. I wasn't doing it for 'fun'."

"Uh huh. I know the truth. You did it for curiosity's sake which is for fun. Come on, aren't you curious to see what it looks like from the top of this building?"

"Again, we were just in a shuttle that was much higher up than this building is tall. Climbing this building to see what we can see from the top, is completely illogical."

"But we will be able to see the whole city from the top! We'll be able to see just how far the rebuilding has come. Just think of all the pretty lights."

"Again, we just saw the pretty lights as we were coming in and as I seem to remember, the fog was rolling in."

"Come on! It will be fun! Do it for me?"

With an exasperated sigh, Liara took off her high heels and started climbing the stairs in earnest. When they finally got to the top floor, Shepard disabled the lock to the door that led to the roof and shouldered it open. The wind almost blew the door away. Shepard stepped out onto the roof after wrestling with the door a bit and Liara hesitantly followed. They stepped to the edge and peered out over the city. Which was foggy. So there wasn't much to see.

"Wow. This is just fantastic."

Liara looked at Shepard like she had two heads. Shepard noticed her skeptical look and continued.

"Okay, it is a little foggy and the view isn't as good as I had hoped but this is where it all happened. This is where all our lives changed forever."

Liara smiled and leaned into Shepard. She did not need to explain any further. The skyscraper was being built on the exact spot where the reaper's beam to the Citadel was during the War. It was near where Liara left her bondmate, terrified that she would never see her again. It was where a near-miracle happened when Shepard somehow made it to that beam. The builders intended to have a giant light that shined upwards that could be seen from the Citadel, at least until the Council decided how and where the Citadel would eventually be moved. The light hadn't been built yet so they had to use their imaginations.

"Pardon my language but this is where we beat the fuckers."

Liara couldn't help but laugh.

"And now, we are still here, standing on this spot and they are gone." Liara said it proudly, almost like she was taunting their long since defeated foe.

"Exactly right. That's my girl. I knew you'd understand. This is where they tried to take away our lives and our children's lives and our very souls. And now, almost ten years and three children later, we are standing here and they are in oblivion."

"I wonder how many children have been born since that moment."

"I don't know but lots."

Liara turned so that she was facing Shepard. There was a hundred emotions that played over her face as she looked into Shepard's eyes until with a tiny smile, she leaned forward and kissed her deeply. When she pulled back, the tiny smile remained.

"You know how we talked about maybe having another child?"

"Yes." Shepard, a smile growing on her face.

"Well, we could make another one. Right here, right now."

"Li! I'm shocked at you. How could you even suggest such a thing?"

"I can only hope that I didn't scandalize you too badly. I take that as a no?"

In response, Shepard's smile only grew wider as she picked Liara up.

* * *

The group was enjoying a nice after-dinner drink when Steven Hackett's expression became more serious and he approached Shepard where she was chatting pleasantly with Kaidan and Joker, who had arrived in the Normandy just that day. They had missed the dedication despite being scheduled to be there and were chatting with Shepard about yet another run in with armed 'independents' in the Traverse.

"Might I have a word with you in private, Shepard?"

"Uh oh. That sounds serious. Be careful, Shepard or he might try to conscript you back into the Alliance.", Joker said.

"The answer to that question will always be no. Especially now after you incompetents almost destroyed my ship."

"A show of hands. Who here was a captain of the Normandy when it actually was, literally, destroyed?", Kaidan asked smiling.

"Ouch, Kaidan. That was just a low blow. I'll talk to you gentlemen later. Lead the way, sir."

Shepard followed behind Hackett as he led her to his private office on the second floor. She smiled to herself as she walked silently behind him. He was going to ask for her support in his run for councilor. She had already spoken to Liara about it. If he needed her to speak on his behalf, Liara would be willing to work less and watch the kids more. She hated politics and knew that being in the public eye again would bring out the crazies and the critics but she felt that it was her duty to do whatever she could to get Hackett elected so that he could lead humanity through this latest crisis. But first, Hackett led her to two chairs in front of his desk. She sat in one of them while he pointed at her drink.

"Before I sit down, can I touch up your drink?"

"No need. Unless you've been hiding some of the good stuff?"

Hackett laughed as he went behind his desk, took out two glasses and poured from a bottle hidden in a drawer. He then handed one of the glasses to Shepard before taking the seat next to hers.

"I think you'll find that to your liking."

Shepard took a sip.

"Smooth. Pre-War?"

"You got it." Hackett took a drink from his own glass before putting it down on the small table, his manner once again serious. "I'm sure you are wondering why I wanted to talk to you."

"I'm thinking it has something to do with the complete disaster that our esteemed councilor has placed humanity in?"

"Yes. I'm sure you've heard the news but it's even worse than that. The Council is threatening to kick humanity out of the Council and officially censure humanity. If that happens and we do anything else stupid for however long the censure lasts, we could find ourselves exiled. We would be on our own in the galaxy."

"Ironic. Since that is exactly what the Terra Firma thugs want in the first place."

"Right. I've tried to explain this to the Council and that those responsible for the conspiracy do not represent the majority of humanity but it hasn't been an easy sell."

"Can't say as I blame them. Having a plot to kill you doesn't put most people in a forgiving mood."

"And don't forget. They are only representatives for their people. The Council races and just about everyone else is none too happy with humanity either. If their people demand it, they will be powerless to help humanity even if they were personally inclined to."

"It is a clusterfuck of epic proportions to be sure. Pardon my French, sir."

"That it is. But I've thought of a possible way that we can fix it. You're not going to like it." Hackett gave a small smile before continuing. "The Counsel is willing to entertain the possibility of us electing another counselor for Earth but they have made it clear that they will thoroughly vet and then veto anyone who doesn't meet with their approval."

Shepard gave a little laugh. "No, I'm not going to like it at all but I'll talk to them. In fact, I've given it a lot of thought and while I am still not a fan of dog and pony shows, I've still got my dress saddle and I'm ready to use it as much as necessary to get this done."

Hackett looked surprised and it took him a moment before he responded. "Really? You've already thought about this? You're going to do it?"

"I don't feel as if I have a choice, sir. The stakes are too high for me not to get involved. I'll go talk to the Council and get them on board. I'll give interviews, meet with people on Earth and the different colonies, convince them that you are the only logical choice. Hell, I'll even go kiss babies on your behalf if I have to. At least I'm used to that last one now."

Hackett looked confused until it dawned on him what Shepard was saying. He held up his hand as he spoke again.

"Wait a minute here. I think you misunderstand. I am not running for councilor for Earth."

"Well then, what exactly is it that you want me to do? Do you have another candidate in mind that you'd like me to put my weight behind, sir?"

"Yes. You."

Now it was Shepard's turn to look surprised.

"Me?! I'm sorry sir but that's just ridiculous! I'm no politician. I can't stand politics!"

"That's why we need you. You wouldn't be doing it for power or gain but out of duty. All the races trust you. When I mentioned the possibility to the Council, they had to pretend that they weren't thrilled with the idea. Councilor Victus almost acted like a schoolgirl with a crush when talking about you and Councilor Tevos was the same way."

"And Councilor Burlani?"

"Did not seem as thrilled with the idea. The salarians are still a bit miffed with your role in curing the genophage but I'm sure she'll come around."

"Has it occurred to you that they might support the idea of me as Councilor because they think I'm a FNG who doesn't know what she's doing and will therefore, be easy to manipulate? I can almost see the wheels spinning in Tevos' head about how good it would be for the asari."

Hackett smiled again. "I'm sure that is part of their reasoning. But you wouldn't be doing it alone. There are advisors and diplomats, untainted by this scandal, who can help you find your way."

Shepard shook her head.

"I'm sorry, sir, but this is just beyond ridiculous. **You **are the natural, logical choice for the job. You have way more experience. You are way more patient than I will ever be. The other races trust you just as much as they trust me."

Hackett sighed and was silent for a moment. He then leaned forward in his chair and looked Shepard right in the eye.

"Do you remember, after Liara came back, the little chat we had when you put in your resignation from the Alliance? How you said that you were just exhausted and you just couldn't do it anymore? That if you were continue, you just wouldn't be able to do a good job anymore? Well, I'm exhausted and I just can't do it anymore. I've been working 12 to 16 hour days for the last ten _years, _Shepard. I think it's time to step back and be selfish for a while. Not just for my own good but for the good of all."

"You deserve it, Steven. If anyone deserves a break, it's you." Shepard smirked. "This wouldn't have anything to do with Sarah, would it?"

Hackett had always had formal relationships with his subordinates and he and Shepard had never really been friends but he couldn't help but laugh when Shepard mentioned his new fiancée.

"Of course, that has something to do with it. I've never really had a family before. Maybe it's time that I changed that. Maybe it's not too late for that."

"She seems like a wonderful woman. And you did manage to rob that cradle there. Do you really think you'll be able to keep up with her and a baby?"

Shepard couldn't help but chuckle at the look of offense on Hackett's face.

"I'm sure that maybe with the proper vitamins and diet, I'll be able to manage." Hackett joked. "Now, everyone might think that they are my daughter and grandkid when they see us together but I'll survive the ridicule."

"I'm just joking with you, sir. I'm happy for you. I think you'll be a great father. But I also think you'll be bored. Are you sure I can't convince you to be both a dad and Earth's councilor?"

"Not a chance. I'm done. I want to be bored. If you keep trying to convince me, I'll get Sarah in here to set you straight."

"No, no! I'm not that brave. I remember that Liara had a few choice words for you when you tried to convince me to stay."

"That she did. I just hope I can get her on board with my trying to convince you now."

"I just think it's an absurd idea. I'm not a good liar and to be a politician, you have to lie."

"But there are different degrees of lying. You can lie less and help more if you are elected."

"That's another thing. How do I get elected? I'm popular now but that's because I'm not running for anything. Once that happens, the gloves come off and the smear campaigns begin. With enough money, you can convince a lot of people that unicorns exist and the reapers never did."

"I've thought about that. My associates and I have come up with a plan. It's risky but it just might work."

"That's a little presumptuous, don't you think? I haven't even agreed to do it yet. And, of course, I would never do so without consulting Liara first. And who are these 'associates'? It sounds nefarious."

"Only people I trust which means I hope you will trust them too." Hackett then spoke into his omnitool. "James, can you come to my office, please?"

A few moments later, Kahlee's husband James Hoffs walked in and stood before them, smiling.

"I know you two have met but let me tell you something about Mr. Hoffs. He is one of Earth's top political consultants. He is vehemently anti-Terra Firma and pro-cooperative galactic community. He tried to warn us about the last two Earth councilors but not enough of us listened. He has never been wrong before when it comes to elections. He also believes strongly that not only can you be elected as councilor but that if you are, it will the best way forward for all of humanity."

James grinned at Shepard as her blush spread.

"He also believes that you're scary enough personally to hold your own against the other councilors but that your greeting skills need a little work", James said.

* * *

Shepard was just turning the corner in one of the newly-rebuilt but somehow, still seedy sections of Tayseri Ward, when she got that feeling. She and Liara had decided to take the girls to the Citadel before taking the shuttle back to Thessia the next morning. The Citadel was almost entirely repaired from the damage caused by the War. Despite the fact that access to the Citadel was tightly controlled by CSEC and the Council, who had by now completely taken over control of the Citadel from the Alliance, somehow some sections of the Wards still remained havens to the less savory aspects of the galactic community. Since Shepard had spent two entire years of her life dedicated to saving and reviving the Citadel after the War, she felt the need to go see for herself how things were progressing, contrary to Liara's protests. She also felt the need to walk so that she could think about Hackett's proposition.

Which is how she found herself alone, late at night, in a nearly deserted corridor in a tiny corner of Tayseri Ward. Sure enough, when she stopped, she heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps behind her that did not stop quite in time. She felt the weight of her hidden pistol in her jacket pocket as she activated the shields on her omnitool. She decided that the direct method would probably be the best in most situations that this could probably turn out to be, so she turned around and spoke, her voice annoyed.

"Alright. You might as well show yourselves. I can hear you."

Three grinning men, two humans and one batarian, appeared out of the shadows.

"Holy shit! You were right. It is her!"

"Told you. It was all over the news. She was at some kind of fancy party or something for the Alliance."

"She looks so short. Are you sure it's her? You humans look all the same to me", the one batarian asked.

"It's her, alright", said the taller human, "isn't that right, Commander Shepard?"

"Yup, that's right. That's me." Shepard sighed before continuing, having a good idea where this might be headed. "What can I do for you gentlemen?"

"You're not so tough, you know. I think most of what they say you did during the War is all bullshit anyway."

"You are correct. I'm not so tough and most of the things written about me are complete bullshit."

The man laughed as they continued to advance on her.

"I bet the three of us could take you easy. The Great Commander Shepard, begging us to let her live."

"Yeah, just think how impressed the Boss would be if we beat the crap out of the big, tough soldier who beat the reapers!", the smaller man replied.

"You humans are never that tough and I heard she's just a housewife now. Ain't that right, sweetheart?"

Shepard sighed internally once again. Almost every single goddamn time she left asari space.

"You gentlemen are completely right. I'm just a housewife and I'm not that tough. So why don't we just say that you all kicked my ass, walk away and call it a night?"

At that, one of the men reached into his pocket and Shepard reacted. When it was over approximately 30 seconds later, Shepard stood over the bleeding men, shaking out her right hand. They were right. She really was getting soft. Even though she usually wore gloves while on the job in her former life and didn't have any on now, she didn't remember that hitting someone hurt this much. She probably broke a finger again and they would be delayed getting back to Thessia because of the paperwork. That meant that a delay in Liara's return to work and the kids to their schools. Not to mention that she still hadn't told Liara about her little discussion with Hackett yet. She feared that she was going to get her ass kicked for real by one very pissed-off asari.


	86. Chapter 86

"And you didn't say anything to antagonize them?", Liara asked.

"No! I tried to defuse the situation!"

Shepard tried to raise her hands in the standard gesture of peace, showing that her hands did not contain a weapon, but one of her hands was stuck in a bone-knitting device so she could only raise one. Shepard winced and then leaned back against the biobed in Huerta Memorial. It was not a good idea to move or become agitated when one's bones are being reset. They usually sedated patients for just that reason but Shepard had promised to be good.

"I just don't understand! Why does this always happen to you? How come you are never attacked when you are on Thessia? Well, except for those couple of times years ago."

"Because Thessia is full of asari. There are far less men. Even the most macho asari would never pick a fight with someone just to prove how tough they are. That is a male thing." Shepard thought about it for a moment. "Well, an asari like Aria might but only if it served a practical purpose and she is not a normal asari."

Liara sighed and sat down on the bed next to Shepard.

"I'm just tired. I was so looking forward to going home as soon as possible."

"I know, honey. I know you didn't have hardly any time at home before coming to Earth. I'm looking forward to things getting back to how they used to be, before your expedition. You going to work, me looking after the kids..." Shepard smiled and put her hand on Liara's stomach. "Especially now that we might have another one of the way."

Liara looked at Shepard and hesitantly spoke again.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that. I'm not so sure that I want to go back to my work at the Guildhall. The reconstruction of the historical record is all but complete. At least as much as it can be. I was actually thinking of concentrating on the data that I collected on XO323. Maybe writing some papers on what I find. Independently, so that I am not answerable to any institution or agency."

Shepard looked at her wife closely to see if she was serious.

"You're going to stop working?!"

"I will still have my work. I will just not physically go somewhere to do it."

Shepard became suspicious. With all three kids with them, they had not had any time to really talk since her meeting with Hackett but perhaps, he had found the time to talk to Liara privately?

"Why are you saying this? You love to work! Did Hackett talk to you?"

Liara looked at Shepard perplexed.

"Did he talk to me about what? You never did tell me why he wanted to speak with you."

Shepard realized too late that she had set herself up in a trap. Now, instead of having a calm discussion when there were no distractions and no time limitations, she had no choice but to tell Liara about the proposal in a hospital, with her hand trapped in a machine. She shook her head and let out a little laugh.

"It's nothing really. It's just a crazy idea that Hackett had. Mostly because they are getting a little desperate..."

"Which is?"

"Like I said, it's crazy. I'm not taking it too seriously myself because it is ridiculous really."

When Shepard did not continue, Liara got impatient, her curiosity running out of control. She playfully smacked Shepard's good arm.

"Just tell me!"

"Well, as you know, Earth is in deep trouble with the Council. There is a growing consensus that humanity should be kicked off the Council or at the very least, censured. Hackett and some others think that there may be a way to avoid that. They think that if someone popular were to run. Popular with not only humans but with the other races, than this latest transgression will be forgotten."

"So, they want you to run for Earth's councilor."

Liara said it as a statement, her expression completely serious.

"Yes! Isn't that absurd? Now, don't get upset because I wasn't seriously considering it."

Instead of laughing or even smiling, Liara got her 'scientist face' on and brought one hand up to her chin as she spoke.

"It makes a lot of sense. You are still very popular with all the races. You have personal relationships with some of those who are still power brokers with their respective races like Wrex and Tali and Garrus and Councilor Victus and Tevos. You are incredibly naive and inexperienced in politics..."

"Hey!"

"But then Hackett and the other humans behind this suggestion probably think that is an advantage because you will be more easily manipulated by them. The other Councilors will think that as well so are likely to support your candidacy." Liara stood up and began pacing a little as she continued to think out loud. "You are easily as intelligent as the other Councilors...

"Gee, thanks."

"so despite the fact that you are naive and have some VERY large blind spots, with the right savvy advisors, you could possibly win and do a respectable job for humanity. The problem is that anyone involved in politics is very good at deception. It will be difficult to discern their real motivation. Whether they are supporting and guiding you with the best interests of humanity at heart or they are just using you as a gullible patsy."

"Liara!"

"On a personal level, you are charismatic and reasonably attractive. Most people who meet you, like you right away. That can be used to political advantage."

"_Reasonably_ attractive?!"

"In short, this could work. I will have to do a lot of digging into the backgrounds of these associates of Hackett's who are behind this. I assume that this Mr. Hoffs is one of them? I thought it odd when I saw him follow you and Hackett upstairs after dinner. I think we can concentrate on the political operatives behind Hackett instead of on Hackett himself. There is no doubt in my mind that he has the best interests of humanity at heart but there is always the possibility that he is being played. Those in the military have a tendency to see things in black and white terms and that can be manipulated by those who operate in the very grey world of politics."

Liara finally stopped and took a breath.

"Anyway, I will have a lot of work to do. Not only do I have to find out the motivations of those who are backing you but I will also have to find the right consultants that we can trust." Liara finally smiled a little. "On a personal level, if I am pregnant, I will get the chance to be the little one's primary caretaker while you are off fighting for the galaxy again. And the girls are all old enough to move but not too old that they have deep, decades-long friendships yet. It is actually pretty good timing for this."

"Liara! You're being ridiculous! I thought we could discuss this. I don't even know, in my own mind, if I want to do this! We would have to move from Thessia. We would have to live on the Citadel. I hate the Citadel! I almost died on the Citadel. Twice!"

"But you didn't die. Twice. I don't think the Citadel will be able to get you now."

"Liara, it is_ my _decision and I don't think I'm going to do it."

"Of course, it's your decision and I will support you regardless." Liara couldn't contain herself anymore and began giggling. "And I, for one, am on pins and needles to find out what you will decide."

When Liara regained control of herself, she leaned over Shepard and kissed her on the forehead.

"I left Jacey in charge and you know how Benezia hates that. I better get back to the hotel before they kill each other. Do what the doctors tell you to do and I will see you again shortly."

With that, Liara walked out of the room, leaving a fuming Shepard behind her. Shepard could hear her still giggling quietly to herself as the door closed.

* * *

A few weeks later, the family had settled back into their normal routine on Thessia. But both Shepard and Liara soon noticed that Jacey was not acting normally. She was a quiet and introverted child by nature but usually at home, where she was most comfortable, she could be as loud and as boisterous as Benezia. In fact, on the worst days in the T'Soni-Shepard household, the two seemed to play off each other in an unspoken competition to see who could drive their parents the most insane by being the loudest. With Edi gamely doing her best to increase the chaos. That seemed to change after Benezia's ninth birthday party.

Benezia had invited twenty of her closest pals from school to join her at their apartment for her party (after her mother put her foot down and denied her request to invite fifty of her closest friends) and every one of them showed up. Along with five or so other kids that Benezia either didn't invite or forgot that she invited. In such a chaotic environment filled with so many strangers, it was not surprising that Jacey mostly stood on the periphery. But when she left the party early to go hide in her room, Liara became concerned. Liara asked her oldest if there was anything wrong and Jacey just shook her head and said she was just tired.

That would have been the end of it but the behavior continued for days afterward until Shepard, fearing that Jacey's horrible past was coming back to visit her, decided that she would have to talk to her about it. After another day where Jacey came home from school and went straight to her room to read, Shepard decided that the time had come for a little chat. Shepard knocked on her daughter's closed door.

"Hey Jellybean. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Come in", was the soft reply.

Shepard walked in and sat down on the bed next to Jacey.

"Whatcha doing?", Shepard smiled as she peeked at the back of Jacey's datapad book. Not unexpectedly, instead of a brightly-colored adventure novel geared towards children which seemed to be Benezia's reading material of choice, Jacey's book was plain and looked like a textbook.

"I'm just reading a little before dinner."

"Don't you feel like playing a little after being in school all day? Is this your homework?"

"No. I finished my homework during recess. I'm just reading for fun."

Shepard smiled to herself. Benezia always had to be gently reminded to do her homework. Jacey did hers before she left school. Shepard reached forward to pat Jacey's leg.

"That's what I'm a little concerned about, Jace. You always were serious about your schoolwork but then you'd come home and play with your sisters. Run around a little bit. Have some fun. For the last week at least, you haven't done that. Why is that?"

Jacey just shrugged.

"Come on, Jellybean. It's obvious something is bothering you. What is it?"

Again, Jacey just shrugged.

"Remember how when you first got here, you wouldn't talk to us? You remember how not telling us how you were feeling just made you feel worse?"

Jacey finally responded.

"Yes."

"Well, maybe talking about it now will make you feel better. You can tell me anything."

Jacey put down her datapad and tears started welling in her eyes.

"It's just that so many people came to Benezia's birthday party. Who came to my party? Just two! I could only think to invite five people and only two showed up!"

Shepard thought about it for a moment until she came up with a plan of attack.

"That's true. But isn't also true that you don't like having a lot of people around? You like just hanging out with a couple friends. Bene is the type who likes to have a lot of people around. She likes being the center of attention. You don't."

"Yeah, that's true."

"And isn't it true that you and Talelle and Shaira are best friends? I don't think Bene has a best friend yet. You're just different, Jace. There's nothing wrong with either of you."

Jacey's face showed a frustrated expression and she threw the datapad in her hand down on the bed.

"You don't understand!"

"Well, then, tell me. What don't I understand?"

"Men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses!"

Shepard could tell that her daughter was truly upset but she had absolutely no idea what the heck she was talking about.

"What?! Do you even know what that means? Where did you even hear that from?"

"I've been watching some old Earth vids. But it's still true today and still true here. And that's me! I'm a girl who wears glasses!"

"Sweetheart, you don't wear glasses and do you even know what a pass is?"

"Of course I do! It's when someone expresses interest in another person romantically. And I don't wear glasses but it's still me! I am smart. I like to read. I'm not good at sports."

"And are you interested in someone else, romantically?"

Shepard held her breath. This shit was coming WAY too early. Her daughter wasn't even a teenager yet, when human children started to express romantic feelings, and she was an asari. Liara had PROMISED her that this wouldn't start for their daughters until age twenty or so.

"No. I don't understand why people want to date other people and get married and everything. The whole thing just seems like more trouble than it's worth to me. But that's still not my point!"

Shepard let out an internal sigh of relief.

"What is the point? Just tell me cuz your Dad just isn't very bright sometimes."

"Benezia is popular! People just like her more then they like me and they always will. She's good at sports and she knows what to say to people. She makes people laugh. She's fun. And I'm just boring, old me."

"You are not boring and being popular doesn't get you anything. You are a beautiful, smart, funny, caring little girl and there is no reason in the universe why people wouldn't like you."

At this, Jacey laid down on her bed and put her face in her pillow. Her tiny shoulders shuddered slightly and Shepard could tell that she was crying in earnest now. She took her daughter in her arms and rubbed her back as Jacey cried into her shoulder. Shepard tried to think of just the right thing to say to make her feel better. It broke her heart to see her daughter with such self-doubt. When Jacey stopped crying, Shepard gently pushed her away until she could look in her eyes.

"You wanna know what I think?"

Jacey sniffed and replied in a small voice.

"What?"

"I think you are a very special person. I think you are so special that you can grow up and be anything you want in this universe. And you are going to make plenty of friends along the way."

Jacey looked Shepard right in the eye as she spoke.

"You really think so?"

"I know so. And can I tell you a secret?"

"Yes."

"You promise not to tell anyone, especially not your sisters?"

"Yup."

"You're my favorite."

"For real?"

"Yup. Now, don't get me wrong, I love your sisters to pieces just like I love you but I feel like we have this special bond. Just think about it. Liara and I choose you to be our daughter. Out of all the little girls in the galaxy, we choose you because you are a very special person, Jellybean. Don't you ever forget that."

For the first time in days, Jacey beamed her brilliant smile at Shepard and wrapped her arms around her neck for another hug.

* * *

Benezia came home from school and it was obvious that she was upset. Unlike Jacey, who had a difficult time expressing when she was upset, Benezia let everyone know when she was not having a good day. She threw her backpack down on the couch and stormed up the stairs without saying anything but a low-level growl. Shepard knew that she had planned on trying out for her school's junior Skyball team that day and guessed that it had not gone well. When Shepard heard her throwing things around in her room, she thought it best to go up and investigate.

When she opened the door to Benezia's room after a quick knock, she almost got a stuffie to the face.

"Benezia! Stop throwing things. We didn't buy you all these nice things so that you can break them by having a fit!"

Benezia stopped her arm mid-arc and then threw the stuffie that was in her hand on the bed. She then threw herself down on the bed, a furious expression on her face. Shepard gently sat down beside her and rubbed her arm.

"Do you want to talk about it, Peanut?"

"No! Talking won't help anything!"

"Well, why don't you tell me why you're so upset and then we'll see if we can fix it?"

"There's no way you can fix this! I just suck!"

"Remember that you're not supposed to use that word, Bene. It pisses your Mom off when you use...

"And you're not supposed to use that word either!"

Benezia had a good point. Liara hated it when the girls used words like 'suck' or 'pissed' or even 'awesome' and every time they did, she always blamed Shepard.

"Good point but never mind that. I take it that you didn't make the Skyball Team?"

"No."

"Well, that's not a big deal. You can always practice and then try to get on the team next year."

"No! I'm on the team."

"Bene, that's great news! I'm so proud of you. If you made the team, why are you upset?"

"Because I'm a backup! They don't want to make me a starter."

Shepard smiled and shook her head. Her daughter was just so impatient sometimes. She had no idea where she got that often undesirable trait from.

"Benezia, there's nothing wrong with that. That's just how it works! You're nine years old. Most of the kids on the team are eleven and twelve. You got on early because your biotics are so advanced. You don't just join a team and then move to the head of the line right away. You have to practice, work hard and then you get to be a starter."

"But I'm better than most of the starters!"

Shepard had to pause for a second before replying because she was getting annoyed. Her daughter was downright cocky sometimes and it really wasn't an attractive trait. She had no idea where she got that from.

"You're better than the starters? So, you know all the plays already?"

Benezia considered for a moment.

"Well no. But I could learn them quick!"

"And you have worked with the other members of the team long enough so that you can work together seamlessly to win?"

"What does that mean?"

"It means that when you are part of a team, it's not about you as one of the members of the team. The important thing is that you work together to be the best team possible. Without that and it doesn't matter how good you are. You will never win."

Benezia seemed less than convinced.

"But I'm better than them!"

"If that's true, then the coach will see that. You just have to be patient. Work hard, get even better, work with your teammates and eventually, you will be a starter and you will be part of the best possible team. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

Shepard patted her arm and stood up. She was getting so good at this parenting thing that she amazed herself sometimes.

"Good girl. I'm proud of you for making the team, Peanut. And I know you will work hard to become the best Skyball player on Thessia."

Shepard was just about at the door when she heard the first sniffle. She turned around to find her daughter face down on the bed, her shoulders shaking slightly. Shepard went back and sat down on the bed again. Her daughter was not shy about letting them know when she was upset but she sometimes did not even know herself exactly why she was upset. Shepard had no idea where she got that trait from.

"Honey, why are you crying?"

Benezia didn't even turn her body around and spoke into her pillow.

"I don't know. I feel sad."

"Why? Why do you feel sad? Come on, Peanut. Talk to me. Did something else happen today?"

"It's just that I'm not the best at anything. I'm not the best athlete. I'm not the smartest student."

"But you are good at sports and you do get good grades!"

"Yeah, but Jacey is way smarter than me. She will always be smarter than me. Everyone knows that she is going to be important when she grows up cuz she's so smart. I'm just good, not great, at everything."

"Jacey is smart but you're smart too. You're smart in different ways."

"That's not what Instructer Edodo said! She said that Jacey was way better in her class two years ago."

Shepard made a mental note to go have a talk with this Miss Edodo. She was no expert on educating young asari but she knew enough that comparing children that way was inexcusable. But that wouldn't help Bene's insecurities right now.

"Even if that's true. That's just one class. Jacey really likes...what was the class?"

"Physical Science"

"Jacey really likes science. She loves it. Just like she loves math. It makes sense that she might be better at it then you because she likes it so much that she works really hard at it. Do you even like Physical Science class?"

Benezia scrunched up her face in response.

"I thought not. But despite not liking it very much, I seem to remember you are doing well in it."

"I am but my teacher said that Jacey was brilliant." The tears welled up in Benezia's eyes again. "I'm never going to be brilliant in anything. I'm never the best at anything!"

"Peanut. Look at me."

Benezia reluctantly turned over on the bed so she could look at her father.

"You are like me. I was never the best at anything but I was pretty good at most things." Shepard patted Bene's stomach. "And that's why we are so lucky."

Benezia gave her a bewildered look. "We're not lucky! We suck!"

Shepard let out a little chuckle. "We are lucky. People who are really good at something, they are stuck. If you are really good at skyball, you become a skyball player. If you are really good at science, you become a scientist." Shepard playfully poked Benezia's stomach. "You? _You_ can become anything in this universe that _you_ want to be. And I know that when you figure out what you really like, you _will_ become the best at it."

Benezia had stopped crying but she still looked skeptical. Shepard had no choice but to continue.

"If I tell you a secret, do you promise not to tell anyone? Especially your sisters?"

Now Benezia looked intrigued and she pushed herself up on her elbows.

"I promise!"

"You're my favorite. Now, I love your sisters like crazy just like I love you but I feel like we have this special bond. You and I are a lot alike. I think you are a very special little girl, Benezia, and you are my daughter. Don't you ever forget that."

Benezia finally smiled and then threw her arms around Shepard's neck.


	87. Chapter 87

When Shepard opened the door, she had to quickly duck to avoid the ball, sheathed in blue energy, drilling straight for her head. The ball hit the wall behind her as Shepard scanned the living room, looking for the perpetrator. She saw both Jacey and Benezia diving for the couch, where after landing, both young asari folded their hands in their laps and pretended to be engrossed in the vid screen. Some awful music was blaring and the living room was a mess; littered with trash, left-over food, dirty dishes and toys.

"Okay girls, which one of you was using biotics in the house?"

Both girls pretended not to hear her as Shepard retrieved the ball and then closed the door. She stepped into the house only to catch two legs flying towards her chest. Shepard caught the two ankles in her hands and then looked down at her hanging daughter.

"And you! How many times have I told you not to do cartwheels in the house?"

Edi smiled sweetly up at her and ignored her question as well.

"Hi Daddy!", Edi said cheerily.

"Hi Sprout." Shepard gently lowered her daughter to the floor. Edi took it as a game and started doing hand-stand pushups as soon as her hands hit the floor until Shepard lowered her all the way down. "No more gymnastics in the house, young lady!"

Shepard walked further into the room and surveyed the scene in detail. It was obvious that the minor asaris had been left to their own devices for quite some time. Shepard addressed her older daughters who were both still ignoring her presence and trying their best to act as innocent as possible.

"Where is your mother?"

"I dunno know", answered Benezia while Jacey responded with a, "she's here somewhere, I think."

Shepard went over and turned off the vid screen.

"I'm going to go find your mother. I want you girls to clean up this pigsty."

"What? But I wasn't the one who almost hit you with the ball!", Benezia protested.

"Liar!", Jacey exclaimed, "you are the one who almost hit Daddy!"

"Na-huh!"

Shepard knew that it was Benezia. Jacey's biotics had just begun to manifest. She still had more control over her biotics than Benezia but little power. She doubted she could get the ball whizzing towards the door with that much force. Benezia, on the other hand, still lacked control but had power to spare. Shepard looked intently at her middle daughter.

"Benezia, what have I told you about lying?"

After about five seconds, she cracked.

"Alright! It was me. I'm sorry." Benezia paused but then her curiosity made her continue. "But how did you know it was me? You weren't even here yet!"

"Because I have magic powers far beyond your biotics and you three had best remember that. Now. All of you. Clean up this room. I'm going to go talk to your mother."

Jacey walked over to stand beside her father. She put an arm around her waist and leaned in to whisper conspiratorially.

"Since Benezia was the one who almost hit you with the ball and then lied about it, I think it would be a good lesson for her if she had to clean this up all by herself."

"You were playing biotic ball in the house as well, young lady. And you helped make the mess so you will help clean it up."

With a dramatic sigh, Jacey joined Benezia at the coffee table and started picking up trash. In contrast, Edi was singing to herself as she started skipping towards the stairs. Shepard ran after her and caught her arm before she could bound up the stairs.

"And where do you think you're going?"

"To go see Mommy."

"When I said, I want you girls to clean up, I meant, all you girls. Including you."

"But I wasn't playing biotical ball in the house!"

"It's biotic ball and you were doing gymnastics in the house which is also against the rules. And you helped make the mess so you need to help clean it up."

"But I'm young!", Edi smiled sweetly at her father again.

"Now Edi."

With another dramatic sigh, Edi dragged herself over to a pile of toys and started picking them up. Shepard started up the stairs while yelling over her shoulder.

"I want this all picked up in time for dinner today or no pizza! It will be bread and water for the three of you. And no fighting!"

Shepard could hear Benezia and Jacey still talking as she hopped up the last step and turned the corner: 'Why would we have bread and water for dinner?' 'As a punishment.' 'But I like bread and I like water. Why would that be a punishment?' 'Because it's not as good as pizza, is it?' 'No. But wouldn't it be a better punishment to give us, like, peas and that yucky stringy, green stuff for dinner?' 'It's called spinach and don't give her any ideas.' 

* * *

As expected, Shepard found her bondmate in her office. Liara had no fewer than three monitors open in front of her and was so engrossed in the data contained on them that she did not even hear Shepard come in. Shepard knew not to startle her very pregnant wife so she quietly spoke before getting too close to her.

"There you are."

Liara jumped off her chair anyway.

"How many times have I told you not to sneak up on me like that?!" Liara glared at her. "Great, now I think I've peed myself a little. I have to get up and go change now!"

Shepard moved to help Liara up as she struggled to rise with her greatly increased belly but Liara batted her hand away.

"Don't touch me!"

Pregnancy hormones. Shepard just loved pregnancy hormones. If anything, Shepard should be mad at her for letting the kids run wild in the apartment but she bit her tongue rather than respond in kind. After counting to ten in her head, she responded.

"Okay, I'll just be going now", Shepard said, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

"No! Sit down. I need you to look at this!"

With a silent sigh, Shepard dutifully did as she was told while trying to keep a look of mild disgust off her face as she felt the warm dampness on the chair that Liara had just vacated.

"Okay. What am I looking at?"

Liara reached forward around her and hit a few buttons until a grainy, dark vid came up on the middle screen.

"Watch this."

Shepard squinted at the dark screen that showed two shadowy men talking in an otherwise deserted alley in what looked like one of the Wards on the Citadel. There was no sound that accompanied the vid. It wasn't until about thirty seconds in that Shepard was able to identify one of the men as none other than Morell Gurnsey, now the former, disgraced Earth Councilor.

"What am I looking at here?", Shepard asked.

"It is a secret meeting between Gurnsey and Ford Pleasants."

Shepard peered at the screen even closer but still could not make out the other face.

"It could be but I can't tell for certain."

"It is. I'm certain." Liara reached over her again and punched more buttons until a red overlay came over the vid, shimmered a little and then turned green. "This is the most sophisticated face-recognition software in existence and it confirms that it is a match with Mr. Pleasants with 99.9999% certainty.

Shepard sighed and put her face in her hands. This day just kept getting better.

"Okay. So, maybe it is him. But the fact that they spoke doesn't mean that Pleasants was involved in the conspiracy or that he has anything to do with Terra Firma. For all we know, they were talking about the annual CSEC baseball game."

"Yes. Because people often meet in dark corners of the Citadel to discuss ball games. But I agree with you. Which is why I dug further."

Liara reached over Shepard once again and then documents appeared on the other two monitors.

"This first set of documents shows a very complicated money trail from Gurnsey to Terra Firma and finally a small stream directly to Mr. Pleasants. The other shows secret, long-deleted communications between the two. They wrote in code but from what I can piece together, Mr. Pleasants might not have been involved directly in the plot to take over the Citadel but he _knew_ about it. That alone makes him complicit. That alone is enough to disqualify him from becoming Councilor. I'm sorry, Shepard. There is no longer any choice. You have to run."

Shepard put her face in her hands once again. Shepard had decided against running for Councilor when Pleasants emerged as the front-runner. The man appeared to be the perfect candidate. His background was squeaky clean without even a hint of scandal and he presented himself as a centrist candidate who would cooperate with the other races while still fighting hard for human interests. Shepard had met with the man and had liked him.

In fact, she had liked him so much that she had planned on formally endorsing him at the ten-year Victory over the Reapers ceremony that was scheduled for the following week. Shepard was the keynote speaker and was tasked with presenting the 'Shepard Galactic Peace Medal' (a name that she despised) to the as yet unknown recipients. She had intended to go there, do her final duty for the galaxy and then hopefully, slip into obscurity once more.

"It's too late. I already told Hackett that I wasn't going to do it. The campaign staff has already gone their separate ways. Hell, the deadline to even file to get on all the ballots passed last week."

"You are mistaken. The final deadline isn't until the day before the ceremony. And I'm sure if you presented this evidence to Hackett, the people who were intended for your campaign would come running back. You need to do this, Shepard."

"I don't _want_ to do this, Liara."

"I know that. But I also know that if you don't and something happens, you will never forgive yourself."

"I don't know if I _can _do this."

"I know you can. And again, I will be with you every step of the way."

"I mean, being a Councilor is not like what happened during the War but still. All that responsibility. All those problems, big and small, that need to be solved. All those people looking to me for answers."

"And with the help of your friends, you will find those answers. I know you will be the best Councilor that you can be which is a very good Councilor, indeed."

"You remember when we were on the Normandy and I had that crisis of faith in myself? You gave me another option. You told me that you would buy the fastest ship in the galaxy and you would run away with me and we would find a tiny corner of the galaxy to hide out instead of having to face the reapers. Are you giving me that option now?"

"No."

"Why the hell not!?"

"Because back then, I knew you wouldn't take me up on it." Liara smiled. "Now, I'm not so sure."

"There's got to be someone else better for this."

"We have already investigated all the candidates and you know there is not."

"Well, what's in it for me? I already have more money than I can spend. I already have more fame than I ever wanted. I already have enough power that I can call the heads of almost any government and they will take my call. What is supposed to be my motivation? What do I have to look forward to if I do this? "

Liara thought about it a moment and sounded less than convinced when she finally spoke.

"You get to get up early every morning, put on uncomfortable clothing, go listen to people say stupid or untrue things all day, and try to prevent them from doing stupid things, all the while trying not to get stabbed in the back. And if anything goes wrong, regardless of whether you had any control over it or not, you will be blamed for it."

"That's it? That's your pep talk?"

"I'm sorry, Shepard. I'm tired, I'm fat, I'm cranky and I need to pee. That's the best that I can do. I think there is just no way to dress this up. It 'sucks' as you would say. About the only good thing is you will have some power so maybe you can prevent humanity from being ostracized or from starting the next galactic war. Or maybe someone else will start it and you will be powerless to stop it anyway."

"And you teased me on my speeches during the War? If it were you giving the speeches, everyone would have shot themselves!"

"I'm just being honest. How about this? If you lose the election, you don't have to do it."

"How hard can it be just to lose? I'm going to shoot for that. What do you get out of this? Why do you want me to do it?"

"Because if humanity gets kicked off the Council or worse, removes itself from the galactic community like the now endangered batarians did, you will regret that you did not do enough to stop it. Every day. And I will have to deal with it. Every day. Even when you don't say anything out loud, I know when you are upset. I anticipate that if you do this, you will have many days when things do not go right and you will be upset on at least 40% of the days. 40% is better than 100% hence my pushing you to do this."

"The avoidance of suffering is not as compelling as motivation as the pursuit of pleasure. Can't you give me anything here?!"

Liara looked deep in thought before she spoke again. "Okay, given a few years, it is likely that someone suitable will be rise up who would be a good candidate to replace you. So go help save the galaxy now and you can retire in a few years. Hopefully."

"You told me the same thing last time!"

"And you did get to retire. You've had your fun for almost eight whole years and now, it's time to get back to work."

"You are so mean!"

"I'm not mean. I'm just being honest. And it is a lot easier to be mean when one is the size of a whale, has to pee all the time and hasn't had a decent night's sleep in over a month."

"Which is the other problem. You are due in another month. If I run and win, I will be appointed the new Councilor for Earth at exactly that time which means moving three unhappy kids across the galaxy to start school in a new place where they know no one at the same time preparing for the arrival of a forth. It is a logistical nightmare."

"It will not be a fun time for any of us I'm sure, but we will get through it. And the sooner we commit, the sooner we can start planning to make the transition as easy as possible. I am concerned about Jacey. Benezia and Edi will adapt quickly, I think, but it is harder for Jacey to make new friends. I was thinking that we need to convince Aethyta to move to the Citadel with us. She will give the girls additional stability and can provide back-up to us."

"With Alecta on Thessia, that might be an even harder sell than trying to get me to do this damn thing in the first place."

"She will do it if you ask her to."

"Me? Why me?"

"Think of it as practice for your new job." Liara smirked. "I'm going to go take a shower. Your turn with the kids."

"And when did you have your turn?" Shepard yelled at her retreating Bondmate. 

* * *

Shepard tried to keep her face neutral but she very much hoped that James Hoffs would get her off this hook that she found herself on. She stood facing his image on her monitor trying not to fidget as he considered his answer. When he did finally answer, she let out the breath that she didn't even know she had been holding and she couldn't help but deflate slightly along with it.

"No. No, I don't think it's too late. This might even act to our advantage. It will give the other sides less time to come up with attack ads. I have to warn you once again though, politics can be brutal. They will attack you. They will attack Liara. They might even indirectly attack your daughters."

Shepard's fists unconsciously clenched at the thought of someone attacking her daughters.

"You see that? Your whole body tightened when I merely mentioned someone attacking your family. That's what we need to spend our time working on in the next few weeks. I think you have a good chance of winning without spending much time on the campaign though we are already working at rebuttals to all the possible attacks that we can think of. But the most important thing is, you can't lose your cool. I know you are remarkably disciplined. You just need to focus that on how you present yourself. You have to focus on things like body language and vocal tone." James smiled at Shepard. "I could tell from the first second that we started this conversation that you wanted me to say that it was too late. You telegraphed your intentions in every way possible even without saying the words. We need to work on that."

Shepard tried again. She tried to keep her voice and body as neutral as possible. "Good to know. Truthfully, I really want to do this. I'm just not sure I have the necessary skills."

James smiled again. "All of that was a complete lie. You don't really want to do this at all. But you are pretty sure that you will be better at it than most others."

"Dammit! How could you possibly tell that?"

"Well, I already know you so it wasn't that difficult. The other cues we can work on."

"So, you think I am arrogant and you think I'm bad at not telegraphing my intentions. And you know how much I don't want to do this so why are you supporting me?"

"Because you don't want to do this. That is exactly who we need as the Earth's Councilor right now." 

* * *

After Shepard got off the line with James Hoffs, she decided that she needed to talk to someone pleasant if only for a needed break from the topic of politics. Oriana Lawson had been trying to contact her for days so after making sure that it was not some ungodly hour in the United North American States back on Earth, she buzzed her. Oriana answered right away smiling and looking cheerful.

"Hello Shepard! How are you? How is everyone there?"

"Good. Good. The girls are growing like weeds. How are you doing?"

"I'm good. A little bored with the new job but I'm looking into some other prospects. I'm hoping that we can meet up at some point when you make it out to Earth for the celebration."

"Absolutely. We are having an after-party once I get done embarrassing myself in front of all those people. I hope you can make it. We'll send a shuttle to bring you over to London if you won't already be there."

"I'm afraid that I was not lucky enough to score one of the coveted tickets to the event so I will be watching from here."

By here, Oriana meant Washington DC as she had not surprisingly, risen quickly in her chosen profession and was now an advisor to the President of the UNAS for Urban Planning and Growth. Shepard knew that it was just a short hop from the East-coast of the UNAS to London.

"If you can get the time off, consider yourself there. I can get you a ticket or two, no problem." Shepard grinned. "But then, I bet you already knew that which is why you've been trying to contact me?"

"I might have guessed that, yes. But you know me, I am far too shy to ask for a favor like that."

Neither Oriana nor her late sister Miranda were the slightest bit shy. Oriana was every bit as driven as her sister had been but unlike Miranda, she came off as charming and warm. Shepard smiled.

"I would definitely describe you are shy and reluctant to pursue what you really want. Speaking of, you mentioned that you were looking into other prospects?"

Now it was Oriana who smiled at Shepard.

"Yes. I'm been thinking of a career change. A career where I think I can have real impact and hopefully, put my skills to work to do some real good."

"Such as?"

"I'll talk to you about it after the ceremony. It is something that I think you might be able to help me with."

"Oh really? What is it?"

"I'd rather not say at this time."

"Why can't you say? You're not thinking about starting your own criminal enterprise and becoming one of those Super Villains like in the Super Hero vids, are you?"

"Not quite. I plan to use my powers for good or at least, what I think to be good."

"Just spill it, Oriana!"

Oriana actually looked around her like she was afraid someone would actually suddenly appear in the room she was speaking in.

"Is this a secure line?"

"I always use the highest-level encryption available in my communications ever since the Matriarchs went messing in my business. You should know that because you helped me set it up. What's with all the cloak and dagger?"

"Okay. I'll just come right out and say it then. I know that you are going to run to be the new Councilor for Earth and I want to be your Chief of Staff."

Shepard remembered what Mr. Hoffs told her and tried to keep her face expressionless as she responded immediately.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Come on, Shepard. There have been whispers about it all over the government of UNAS ever since the last idiot was arrested. I can help you."

"Let's say you are correct. What experience do you have in politics? What experience do you have being an assistant to a Galactic Councilor?"

"Very little and none. But you know that I am a fast learner. You know how smart I am. I'm also excellent at organizing a lot of pressing matters, I love to multitask and I'm very quick on my feet."

"You are also very modest just like your sister was."

"As modest as you are, I suspect. Neither of us believes in false modesty. It's another form of arrogance and it's dishonest."

"I will neither confirm nor deny these rumors but let's say again that you are correct. Wouldn't it make sense that I would already have personnel in place ready to jump into these roles, who would all have already been vetted? Wouldn't it make sense that I would already have a Chief of Staff picked out who has a proven track record and would be able to hit the ground running?"

"That would make sense but they will not do as good a job as I will. I will be unwaveringly loyal to you. I already know you and you already know me. We have been friends for close to ten years now and you must know that just as you've looked after me all these years, I would zealously defend you and your interests. I would do everything in my power to keep you out of trouble." Oriana beamed her most brilliant smile. "I would also be able to keep you from getting yourself in trouble when Liara is not around to do so."

Shepard sighed and thought about it for a few seconds.

"Again, I am not saying that any of this is true but if it were, I might be able to offer you a position as _Assistant_ Chief of Staff. You can learn the job under the senior Chief of Staff, see if you like it and see if it is the right job for you."

"That would do." Oriana smiled again. "For now."


	88. Chapter 88

Shepard ran back on stage and waited in the shadows as the Council continued speaking. The large crowd assembled before them were in a jubilant mood, smiles on their faces and enthusiastic applause or excited whoops coming from them in waves after almost every sentence that one of the Councilors said. Behind the stage stood the impressively tall Victory over the Reapers Memorial with its beam of light on top reaching towards the Citadel high above the Earth's atmosphere. Behind the audience were large vid screens showing the crowds that had gathered on other home worlds throughout the galaxy. They, too, were in a celebratory mood, although there was a slight delay due to many of them being hundreds or thousands of light years away.

There had been much concern over security, in light of the recent coup attempt by human separatists lead by the former human Councilor, but thus far, everything had gone to plan. Shepard could only hope that the Alliance had done its job and secured the area completely and properly vetted the audience, if an audience of over fifty thousand random humans, salarians, asari, turians, quarians, volus, elcor, hanar and various other smaller galactic members could be properly vetted. Shepard patted the hidden M-11 modified pistol in her jacket that she had placed there just moments ago. Better to be safe than sorry. Not that it would do her much good if a sniper managed to get himself in position anywhere in the high buildings that surrounded the square in front of the Memorial.

The pistol and the jacket were part of a last minute change. Mr. Meeks had told her that if she were going to do this, she needed to look the part so she had originally worn one of the high-necked, formal gowns still favored by the asari and political power-brokers the galaxy-wide. As she was waiting to speak, she had a change of heart and rushed off the stage unnoticed to go change into plain slacks, an open-necked blouse and a jacket. If she was going to do this, she would do it her way. She would be who she was and show the people exactly what they were getting.

Shepard glanced at the assembled human politicians and Alliance dignitaries seated on the stage to her left. Pleasants caught her eye, gave her a slight smile and a small thumbs up. He did not appear to have any clue as to what was going to happen. Shepard merely looked away. If there were rumors that she was going to run, those rumors had apparently not been heard or believed by the other candidates for Councilor. Most likely because the deadline to enter the race had passed the previous day.

Shepard had submitted all the paperwork to the committee but with the help of her more technically-minded campaign helpers, the paperwork was still very slowly making its way through the extranet. It would show as timely-submitted but had not yet been received. Shepard thought it a little sneaky but she was beginning to realize that all was fair in war and politics and she was beginning to see that there was little difference between the two.

As Shepard listened to Tevos drone on about their collective victory over the reapers and how they must continue to work together, she began to get that feeling she had not felt in years. It started in her stomach and fanned out across her body until she could feel it in her fingers and toes. Nerves. Adrenaline. It was the same feeling she got before hitting the ground before every deployment during her time in the Alliance. It was not fear exactly. Just her body's attempt to get her ready for what lay ahead. It was not something that she usually felt before speaking.

It was also not something that was helpful in her current situation. The nervous energy in her limbs was exceedingly helpful before a battle as it prepared her body to act. When her only physical action was going to be to walk twenty feet to stand in front of the microphone, it was not as helpful. Shepard closed her eyes briefly and moved into her own mind, practicing the techniques that she had used throughout her military career to ignore pain and fear. When she opened her eyes again, they naturally looked out to the front row to where she knew Liara was sitting. Liara was looking back at her and gave her that charming little smile that she loved so much.

"Again, I thank you all for your hard work and commitment. Both during and after the War. Without further ado, I would like to introduce the woman who really needs no introduction. She is the person who brought all our efforts together so that we might be here today, to celebrate our victory and our very continued existence. I know you will join me in giving a warm welcome to Admiral Katherine E Shepard."

Shepard walked forward and greeted each of the Councilors as the crowd rose to their feet and erupted in an extended ovation. She gave Tevos a wink as she greeted her. She was the only Councilor who knew all of what was about to happen. Shepard then stood before the microphone, smiling, and tried again to calm her itchy limbs. The crowd continued to applaud as Shepard stood there until she brought up her hands and made a downward motion with them. At that, the crowd slowly started to quiet.

After another moment, Shepard spoke.

"Well, we did it", Shepard said simply. The crowd exploded in applause once again. It was obvious that despite the feelings of some humans, the galaxy in general felt that things were moving in the right direction and these representatives from all corners were here for a party. After the noise died down, Shepard spoke again, this time in a more serious tone.

"It was exactly ten years ago today, that hundreds of thousands of soldiers from all over the galaxy fought to get to almost this exact spot. Tens of thousands of those soldiers fought and died so that I could get to the beam that lead to the Citadel. A beam very much like that one."

Shepard turned slightly and pointed up over her shoulder towards the beam of light that had been built on top of the Memorial building and shined up towards the Citadel.

"When I did make it to that beam, I was standing on the shoulders of millions of people from all over the galaxy who were fighting and dying at that moment to make it possible. It is to those heroes that this memorial is dedicated. Words cannot express how grateful I am to those heroes who fought here and throughout the galaxy so that we all could be standing here today. We can never repay that debt with words or buildings or statues but we can honor their sacrifice and remember them always. It is with that hope that we always remember them, that I dedicate this memorial on behave of the citizens of the galaxy."

Shepard walked away from the podium a few feet to stand before a large switch.

"So, without anymore yakking from me, I'd like to present and dedicate the new Victory over the Reapers Galactic Peace Memorial."

Shepard flipped the switch and the entire first floor of the building lit up revealing the carving that was sculpted into the building. The relief showed individuals from every race, including geth, circling the building with their arms up-raised. With the lighting, it gave the illusion that the figures were actually holding the building up. There were gasps in the crowd before the audience again broke into applause and hollers as Shepard returned to the podium.

"As many of you know, there was a contest held to decide what the winning design would be. Elected representatives from every race made the decision and I think they made an excellent choice."

Again, the audience broke out in applause as Shepard smiled and turned her head towards the side of the stage.

"This wasn't planned but I think you all should meet the talented, young artist who created this incredible work of art but she's shy. I'm sure with some encouragement, she could be persuaded to come up on stage and take a bow."

The audience applauded and yelled even louder as Shepard smiled and motioned to a figure off-stage. After a moment, the figure slowly moved forward and Shepard could hear some gasps of surprise as she moved into the light. Shepard shook the young krogan's hand as she hesitantly came to stand beside her.

"Congratulations, Vorlok Cagara. And thank you for creating such a beautiful work that perfectly captures the spirit of our victory. Would you like to say a few words?"

Cagara quickly moved off the stage and back into the shadows as Shepard chuckled.

"I'll take that as a no. As I said, she's young and a little shy. I just hope I didn't embarrass her too badly."

Shepard paused a moment as a few people carried small boxes and placed them on the small table that stood beside the podium. She took a drink of water before continuing.

"As I'm sure you have also heard, the Council decided that it would be a good time to give out medals as a token of our appreciation for not only the bravery that so many individuals exhibited during the War but also for the tireless dedication to galactic peace that so many people worked towards after the War. We won the War because of the bravery and sacrifice of billions of citizens and we survived the aftermath because of the hard work and sacrifice of billions of citizens. We are not yet whole. We can never get back everything that we lost. But these individuals have been chosen because they helped us win the War and/or survive and even thrive in the aftermath."

"Despite its embarrassing name, I am honored that the Council asked me to present these medals because they help to illustrate that it was not and is not an individual or a single race that helped us get here. Only ten individuals will be presented with these awards but behind them stands the millions who were equally brave and dedicated. So, again, I will stop yakking and get to it."

When Shepard was presented with the first envelope, she was momentarily hit with a wave of emotion. She took a sip of water to try to dispel the lump in her throat. She had read the list of finalists and knew that it was a possibility but she thought that maybe politics and the controversial nature of this medal winner's actions would have prevented him from winning the vote.

"I just want to remind everyone that I had no idea who the winners would be in advance and I had no hand in deciding the winners. These individuals were chosen by the people of the galaxy through a vote administered and tabulated by the accounting firm of Hun and Cur."

The volus who handed Shepard the envelope stepped forward again and raised his hand.

"I can verify...that the voting...was completely fair...and our software...prevented anyone from voting more than once. ...Our transparent...methodology is available...to anyone with any questions."

"Thank you, Cur. Our first winner is being honored for his actions during the War. His sacrifice and scientific excellence helped to bring the krogan and turians together which helped us hold on until the Crucible could be completed. He was also a personal friend who I knew to be as compassionate and funny as he was brilliant. He is not here with us today because he deliberately and knowingly sacrificed his life to cure the genophage. I don't know if anyone from his clan is here to receive this but the first Galactic Peace and Unity medal goes to Doctor Mordin Solus."

There was more loud applause as Shepard peered towards the section where the finalists and/or their representatives were seated. Finally, Shepard saw Turnan Solus, Mordin's nephew, walking up the stairs to the stage. As he got close, Shepard reached forward to shake his hand, trying to keep her eyes from watering. Shepard then handed the box to him and stood back so that he could stand in front of the microphone.

"I am proud to accept this Katherine Shepard Galactic Peace and Unity medal on behalf of my uncle."

Turnan stressed the Katherine Shepard part as he said it and nodded slightly at Shepard before continuing as Shepard rolled her eyes.

"He was a great man. A great uncle. And the Solus clan still misses him. I thank you on his behalf."

Turnan left the stage as the audience continued to applaud. The second envelope was handed to Shepard. She couldn't help but chuckle a little when she read the name.

"I just want to remind you all once again that I had no say in who would win these. The second recipient is also a close personal friend of mine. He is being honored for his courageous actions after the War in bringing together and keeping together the clans of Tuchanka and helping to keep peace in the galaxy since the War. I am honored to present this Galactic Peace and Unity medal to none other than Urdnot Wrex."

The audience applauded loudly again and Shepard could hear chants of 'I am krogan!' from certain areas. As Wrex started stomping up the stairs, Shepard walked forward to meet him, smiling from ear to ear. To Shepard's surprise, Wrex appeared to be scowling a little as she clasped his arm.

"Congrats, Big Guy."

Wrex tried to whisper as they moved towards the podium.

"I don't understand it, Shepard. What's this nonsense about peace? I didn't win because I was an unstoppable reaper killing machine during the War?"

"No. The blurb says that you are getting it because of your peace efforts after the War, Wrex."

Wrex stopped a few feet away from the podium and the microphone.

"That's bullshit, Shepard", Wrex growled. "You remember the final push during the War, that happened right near here? And do you remember that your left flank collapsed? Your right flank did NOT collapse. Why do you think that was?"

"Yes, Wrex." Shepard continued to smile and tried to keep her voice low to placate her agitated friend. "I remember all that and thank you very much. But this is for your efforts after the War."

"But I'm one of the great Battlemasters!"

"I think people are just relieved that you haven't invaded their planets and eaten their children. Just take the damn medal, Wrex." Shepard kept smiling as she hissed through her teeth.

Wrex grunted indignantly but moved towards the podium and accepted the medal from Shepard.

"I thank you on behalf of all the krogan people. I accept this medal for keeping the peace AND for killing the reapers for you." Wrex paused before continuing. "With your help, of course."

Wrex left the stage as the volus handed Shepard the next envelope. Shepard read it and once again felt a wave of emotion. Someone had nominated not an individual but a race. Surprisingly, since there was no one left of that race to cast a vote in their favor, they won. The geth. It occurred to Shepard that while it very well might be a sincere expression of gratitude for their service to the galaxy and their sacrifice, it could also be a very public criticism of Shepard and the decision that she made.

"The next recipient is not an individual but a race of individuals. A race that fought alongside us, helped us, even though they were never welcomed among us. This race was also sacrificed in its entirety so that the rest of us could live. And I was the person who made that decision. There can be debate as to whether it was morally right to sacrifice so many for the many more but there can be no debate that a deliberate decision was made and that I was the one who made it. It is a decision that I live with every day and will live with until I die. I would make the same decision again if I had it to do over again but the fact that I had to make that decision... That we couldn't find another way to defeat the reapers, that I couldn't find another way, is something that I will regret always."

"Since there is no way that we can bring the geth back and there is no possible way that we can make reparations to them, I've thought a lot over the years about how we can possibly give honor and tribute to their memory and their sacrifice. The only thing I could think of is an open mind and an open heart. I vowed that I would meet strangers, including strangers from foreign races, with an open mind and an open heart. Even if that might make me vulnerable at times, I think it's worth the risk. I think that what I personally owe the geth is to greet any new race that I might meet, that we might discover or who discovers us, with that benefit of the doubt. Since there is no one to accept this medal, I will give it to the curator of the museum inside this Memorial."

Shepard looked out at the crowd. She had definitely killed the mood. This was supposed to be a celebration. She could only hope that the next medal was for someone alive and someone non-controversial, who could be embraced by everyone. When she opened the next envelope, she sighed and tried not to grimace. She did not get her wish.

"The next medal goes to a new hero who was vital in keeping the peace that so many of us fought to win. Without this woman's intuition and dedication to her profession, humanity might have made a terrible mistake. Or I should say, a small percentage of humanity would have made a terrible mistake that would have had horrible consequences for humanity and the galaxy at large. Instead, she was able to figure out what these criminals...these terrorists...were doing and she was able to stop them. I'm sure you've all read the news about exactly what this woman and her team did so I'll just get to it. The next Galactic Peace and Unity medal goes to Detective Anita Healy."

Shepard waited as Ms. Healy made her way on stage. This was the woman who was able to stop Morell Gurnsey and his Terra Firma plan to steal the Citadel and presumably, eventually attempt to take over the galaxy. The woman was a formidable looking person but she managed a small smile as she shook Shepard's hand. She was a seasoned CSEC officer with a ramrod straight, polished appearance that announced her Alliance background. The entire crowd was on its feet, applauding loudly, except for the human members who were more subdued and obviously more ambivalent. Shepard glanced over Healy's shoulder briefly as she was speaking to catch a glimpse of Ford Pleasants. He did not look pleased but when he caught Shepard looking at him, he smiled brightly.

The next envelope was presented to Shepard and it was another potential political landmine but she couldn't help but smile as she read the name. She knew her opponents would use this against her and it made her uncomfortable to have to present it, but she also felt a swell of pride. She briefly rubbed the back of her neck before starting to speak. Despite her embarrassment, Shepard was pleased that people recognized this great contribution to the war effort despite the fact that people tended to reward the flashy, physical contributions and not to understand the efforts of the 'egg heads'.

"I just want to reiterate that I was not at all involved in determining who the winners are and I had nothing to do with who was even nominated. In fact, I did not even vote in this contest. As it happens, the next recipient of the Galactic Peace and Unity medal is another person who I know well. Through her talent and knowledge, she was able to locate the weapon blueprints that were used to create the Crucible and without her contributions we would have lost to the reapers. The next winner is none other than my wife and bondmate, Liara T'Soni."

Shepard ran to the stairs to try to help her extremely pregnant wife as she levered herself out of her chair. She offered Liara a hand as she moved up the steps, which Liara deliberately ignored. While Liara had a fake smile plastered on her face, Shepard could see that she was pissed. She always disliked public speaking and being pregnant did not put her in the mood to pretend. When they got to the podium, Shepard handed her the small box and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Liara was quiet for a moment, temporarily stunned by the large crowd in front of her. She had prepared a speech in the, what she believed to be, unlikely event that she won, but having a speech and saying it in front of billions of viewers were two very different things. She opted for an abbreviated version.

"I was fortunate to be in position to know what I was looking at when I was lucky enough to find the Crucible plans at the last minute. The true heroes in the Crucible endeavor are the open-minded leaders, like Admiral Steven Hackett and the other Alliance leaders, who so readily backed the project early enough for us to get it done. It was their vision and foresight that made the difference. I'd also like to accept this medal on behalf of all the brilliant scientists and engineers who made the Crucible possible. I was just barely skilled enough to recognize what it was but it was the thousands of brilliant minds from throughout the galaxy that got it built. Thank you."

With that, Liara abruptly moved from the podium to go take her seat as the audience applauded enthusiastically. Shepard moved to go help her back into her seat but Liara's brief glare was enough to tell her that the assistance was neither expected nor appreciated. Shepard moved back behind the podium and waited as the next envelope was handed to her. She read the name and this time, there was absolutely no surprise.

General AmcusPalitus was a towering figure in the turian military. He was the man credited with organizing the resistance on Palaven. While other leaders from other worlds were trying to negotiate with the reapers and then were very effectively indoctrinated, Palitus used every trick in the guerrilla handbook (and quite a few that he invented) to hurt the reapers. His tactics were responsible for taking down no fewer than three reaper capital ships, no small feat. He is also credited with being one of the main reasons why Palaven did not fall and they had enough men and ships available to deploy when the final fight on Earth began.

The next winner was a person that Shepard knew but he was not actually a friend. In fact, in a rare lapse of self-control, Shepard had punched Admiral Han'Gerrel vas Neema right in the stomach and thrown him off the Normandy a little over ten years earlier. She found him to be a reckless, ruthless, power-hungry hothead but she had to admit without his actions during the final battle, the Crucible might have been lost. He ordered two of the quarian live-ships to be (mostly) evacuated so they could be rammed into one of the reaper capital ships that was getting dangerously close to the Crucible during its deployment. And considering the fact that Shepard had made the decision to destroy an entire race of synthetics in order to destroy the reapers, she could hardly fault him for his decision. She smiled as she shook his hand and gave him his medal.

The next winner was not a surprise but it was another politically inconvenient recipient. Shepard could already see the headlines in some of the less journalistically sound tabloids: Peace and Unity Medal rigged! Despite this, Shepard could not be more thrilled when she announced the next winner.

"The next winner is not a single individual but a group of people. This group of people were impressive as individuals, coming from all different backgrounds and possessing an incredible array of talents. But when they were thrown together, something incredible happened. Something magical happened and they were able to transform into something so much greater. Without them, there is no doubt in my mind that we would not have beat the reapers."

At this point, Shepard had to pause as the lump grew in her throat. She took another sip of water before she continued.

"I know that personally, I never could have accomplished anything without them. They were my strength and I owe them my life. The crew of the Normandy."

As the people who could make it to the celebration started filtering onto the stage, Shepard ran over to shake hands and give hugs. Karin Chakwas winked at her and chided Shepard.

"Get a hold of yourself, Shepard. You still have work to do, I hear."

Liara scowled at Shepard as she once again took the stage. She had already been sitting too long and she no doubt needed to pee.

"Well, don't look at me! I had nothing to do with it!" Shepard whispered to her.

"You're the reason I'm pregnant!" Liara hissed back at her.

After a few words from Captain Alenko, the Normandy's current commander, they quickly left the stage excited by the knowledge that they would see each other all again at the after-party that Shepard had arranged. Most of them already knew about her surprise and had been sworn to secrecy. Shepard just couldn't wait until this was over so that she could relax with people that she trusted before the storm that would become her life in the next two weeks.

The next medal was another win for the eggheads. Since the War, a salarian named Zustann Vaelanwas able to refine QEC technology to make it require much less energy and thus, made it much cheaper. As a result, QEC communications, technology rumored to be developed by Cerberus, became much more prevalent which allowed faster communication that increased the speed of repairs and the rebuilding of the galactic economy. Unfortunately, the salarian was a 40 year old man in the last stages of his life and was unable to attend the ceremony.

It was down to the last winner and Shepard could tell that the crowd was getting antsy. She knew that the main reason most of them were there was not really to honor the heroes or remember those who gave their lives but for the party that was to follow. Most were eagerly awaiting the fireworks show that the designers promised would be the biggest and best ever seen in the galaxy in a billion years.

When Shepard opened the last envelope, she thought there had been a mistake. She showed it to Cur who nodded as much as a volus could nod in his suit.

"It is the correct...name."

Shepard didn't understand how this could be. She had seen the list of finalists and this name was definitely not on it. Shepard would have noticed for sure. Maybe there was more than one person with this name? The tabloids were going to have a field day with this if not.

"Okay, the last winner of the Galactic Peace and Unity medal is Matriach Aethyta Megara. It says that Matriarch Aethyta not only organized a large pocket of resisters on Thessia during the War, successfully saving the lives of thousands, but she also lead a rescue of the scientists who were working on the mass relay technology, risking her life multiple times to save them and their data. All five of the scientists testified that without Aethyta, they would have been captured or killed by reaper ground forces and their data destroyed. Without the availability of this technology after the War, the repairs to the relays would have been indefinitely delayed, causing the death of millions of citizens due to an inability to transport needed resources."

Shepard looked towards the stairs, hoping beyond hope that it would not be her father-in-law who appeared. No such luck. Shepard hadn't even known that Aethyta was involved in rescuing the scientists and their vital technology. How could she not know this and how could she not know that her own father-in-law was a finalist? More pressing at the moment, how could she stop her father-in-law from saying or doing something completely inappropriate? Shepard rushed forward to meet her before she reached the podium. She kept the fake smile on her face as she whispered to Aethyta.

"How come I didn't know about this? You weren't even listed as a finalist!"

"I was not listed as a finalist on the list that you or Liara received. Go figure. You should have done more research."

"You know what I'm about to do. Just say thank you and leave! Do **not** say anything else."

Shepard then rushed ahead of Aethyta to the podium and the small table beside it, grabbed the remaining medal, thrust it into Aethyta's hands and then put an arm around her back in an effort to steer her back towards the stairs. Aethyta made a slight spin move to evade Shepard and then whispered.

"Don't worry. I'm going to help you."

"Do NOT try to help me", Shepard hissed back at her.

Despite Shepard's pleading demand, Aethyta took her place in front of the podium and started to speak anyway.

"I am going to accept this award but I'm not going to accept it for myself. This is for all the girls who fought alongside me. For all the girls who fought day after day, week after week and never gave up despite the death, despite the hunger, despite the overwhelming odds. Despite the enemy who just seemed to get stronger even as we got weaker. They never gave up and kept on fighting. Some until their dying breaths. I'm going to take this medal but I dedicate it to those girls and the men and women everywhere who kept fighting and never gave up. As I'm sure all the winners will tell you, it's never about one person. There are always heroes behind the heroes. So thank you for this and thank you to all of you heroes out there that helped us to still be here today."

Shepard let out her breath. That wasn't so bad. That wasn't so bad at all. Shepard moved forward to 'guide' Aethyta off the stage but she stood unmoving behind the podium. Once the applause died down, she started again, to Shepard's complete horror.

"All of that is not to say that sometimes things going right doesn't come down to one person. No one has come out and said this yet but we all know it's true and I think it needs to be said. People have asked me how the girls and I managed to hang on when others lost hope. Why we kept fighting when others just surrendered when it looked hopeless and there were definitely days when it appeared hopeless."

"The answer is I had inside information. Commander Shepard herself told me that they were working on something and that Thessia just needed to hold on. She told me that I couldn't give up because she never would until Earth and Thessia and Palaven and all the other home worlds were saved. She told me that she would fight with every fiber of her being until the reapers were gone. The only thing I had to do is be smart enough and wise enough to believe her and I did."

"My now daughter-in-law has plenty of faults." Aethyta gestured to the embarrassed Shepard and then laughed. "She's standing right here so I'm sure I don't need to tell you that her ass has definitely gotten bigger than it used to be."

As the audience burst out in laughter, Shepard tried to remember what her political advisors told her about how she needed to control her own emotions and how those emotions were expressed but she couldn't quite keep the look of fury off her face as Aethyta cackled.

"But despite those faults, none of us would be here today if it weren't for her determination and stubbornness and almost insane inability to see when she is beat. If she says she's going to do something, it's as good as done. Even if she has to keep picking her now bigger ass up off the ground a hundred times, she will until the job is done. So, I want to personally thank her for being too stupid to know when it's over because without that, none of us would be here."

The audience all stood and gave an extended ovation until Aethyta moved over and gave Shepard a hug and then left the stage. Shepard moved back behind the podium and motioned for people to sit down again. Shepard took a moment to get her bearings again before speaking again.

"Well, that was embarrassing. If I had known that she was going to be on Earth, I would have stayed on Thessia today."

The audience laughed politely. She could feel the audience getting more and more restless. It was now or never. She had a speech but after Aethyta's little unannounced endorsement and the fact that the award ceremony went way over its allotted time, perhaps something shorter and more honest would be best. Shepard looked over towards Pleasants who smiled at her and nodded his head. She had not told him that she would be endorsing him in his run for Councilor but she had not disabused him of the notion either. It was obvious that he expected that was what was going to happen next.

"I know you are all anxious for the party, but if you will indulge me for just a few moments longer, I'd like to speak to you all but especially the Earth citizens in the crowd. As I'm sure that you are all aware, the last Councilor for Earth was arrested and we are mere weeks away from the election of the next one. For the first time in our history, the people will be casting votes for the next Councilor directly instead of relying on our elected officials to nominate a suitable candidate."

"I'm going to be completely honest with you. I think humanity is in a dangerous spot right now. I think we are at a crossroads. Down one road is a dangerous path that will lead to isolationism and most likely, another war. I strongly believe that this cannot be the road we go down. I strongly believe that remaining a member of the galactic community and cooperating with the other races, the people from all over the galaxy gathered here tonight and watching from worlds all over the Milky Way, is the only way forward for humanity."

"That is why I have decided to run to be the next Councilor for Earth and her colonies."

There was shock in the audience and then finally, the majority again rose to their feet and applauded wildly. Shepard could see that the response from many of the humans was more muted and more ambivalent. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Pleasants storm off the stage, his face a mask of rage. And so it begins, Shepard thought to herself, from living legend to political fodder to be dragged through the mud in the time it took to say one sentence. Shepard again motioned for the crowd to be seated.

"I know that many humans are concerned that our cooperation with the other races is holding us back from reaching our full potential. You are worried that our economies are not as strong as they could be because we have to wait our turn for colonies and wait our turn to have our priorities met. I understand your concerns. Some of you are just not doing as well personally as you believe you could be and you believe those who would tell you that it is the other races who are holding us back."

"I do not believe that this is the case. I believe that we can achieve everything we can dream of if we are patient and we put in the hard work. I believe that we can discover amazing new technologies, explore the 98% of our galaxy that remains unexplored and be as strong as we can be, not through fighting with the other races but by cooperating with them. I believe that the War proved that we are stronger together and that we are more alike than we are different. I believe that what is in the best interests of the galaxy as a whole are in the best interests of humanity in the long run."

"I know that some of you will say that I am too close to the other races. You will point out that I am married to an asari and have asari children and that proves that I do not have humanity's best interest at heart. I will promise you right here and right now, if you vote for me, I will fight as hard as I did during the War to protect humanity's interests when it is threatened by anyone, regardless of what planet or race that they come from. I believe that friendly competition between the races is good and healthy and will help move us all forward. I believe that spirited debate is necessary. I do not believe, however, that we have to hurt the other races in order to help ourselves. No race has to lose in order for others to win. I believe that we can work together with the other races to build a galaxy where the lives of all its citizens are good and everyone, from every background and every planet, has the opportunity to follow their dreams."

Shepard looked out at the crowd and saw some skeptical looks. If this is not what humanity wanted, so be it. But she now knew with certainty that she was going to fight like hell to win because she was right and Terra Firma and Cerberus were wrong. This WAS the only logical way forward and she would be damned if she let some racists idiots ruin this chance for humanity. She sure as hell was not going to let these power-hungry assholes bring her race and likely, the galaxy, to calamity again so soon after they all fought like hell to survive.

"The funny thing is, I didn't want to do this. Honestly, I like my life the way it is now. I have a beautiful family and I have more than enough money to not have to worry about working ever again. But then I saw what was happening and I see how humanity is splintered right now. I feel like I have no choice but to run because I sure as hell didn't risk my life and watch people I loved die to have some greedy, power-hungry..." Shepard had to stop herself from saying assholes..."people twist the minds of others for their own personal gain. I sure as hell will not let these people, who I think are as big a danger to the peaceful future of humanity as the reapers were, win without a fight. I promise you this. If you vote for me, I will not rest until humanity is once again out of danger and our future is as bright as it can be!"

The audience erupted again as Shepard waved to the crowd. After a moment, music started to play as the first fireworks started going off.

"And now, I think it's time that I stop with the talking and we get to the celebrating. We won, we survived and we are starting to thrive again. I think we should all have a great time and not think about the challenges we still face for one night."

Shepard saw some excited krogan head-butting each other in the crowd.

"And just another word, you can have a great time tonight WITHOUT violence and property damage!"


	89. Chapter 89

As Shepard exited the stage and moved quickly to get to the side of the memorial building, where her skycar, piloted by Mr. Moreau, was already waiting, she saw Mr. Pleasants swarmed by reporters. He was smiling his brightest smile. She could hear him speaking as she tried to move as quickly and quietly as she could towards her escape route.

"As I already said, it's a good thing that Ms. Shepard has entered the race. The more choices that humanity has, the better. I look forward to hearing more about her concrete policy ideas. If she has any concrete policy ideas beyond love thy neighbor."

Whatever delusions that Shepard had that she would be able to announce her candidacy at the dedication and then take the rest of the night off to be among friends, were shattered when one of the reporters saw her. The reporter ran towards her, his hovercam obediently following, as the other reporters quickly followed. It was only about 30 seconds before Shepard was surrounded, her escape route blocked. She had to consciously restrain her hand from automatically reaching for her hidden pistol.

_And so it begins_, Shepard thought._ I'll never be able to have any privacy in public again. Maybe I should just start clucking like a chicken right now so that I just lose this thing? _

Instead, Shepard smiled and straightened her shoulders as the reporters started yelling questions at her all at once. Shepard spied Pleasants over the shoulders of some of the reporters and the facade had fallen. Instead of a beatific smile, he briefly glared in Shepard's direction before stalking off. Shepard got the distinct impression that win or lose, she had just made an enemy who held a grudge.

One of the reporters got even pushier and screamed over the others.

"What made you decide to run?"

When Shepard fixed her eyes on the reporter, the other reporters briefly hushed, hoping that she would answer and they would get their headline.

"As I said in my speech, I just felt it was my duty to run. I think I can do a good job for humanity and keep us on the right path."

The reporter asked a follow-up question. "That sounds almost like you think you need to save us again. Is there something wrong with the other two candidates that are running, in your opinion? Is there anything wrong with the front-runner Mr. Pleasants?"

Shepard couldn't very well come out and accuse Pleasants of being a conspirator in the coup or say that she thought Garvin Harden, the other candidate running, was a moron. Luckily, the question had been easily predicted by her advisors and she had, what she hoped would be, a rational response.

"Nothing in particular. I just think that we are at a pivotal moment in our history. I don't think it's any secret that the other races are unhappy with us right now and frankly, they have every right to be. I doubt that we would be as forgiving if a Councilor for one of the other races plotted a coup to take over the Citadel and basically attack everyone else. I believe that because of my experience during the War, working with the other races, that I am best suited to be Councilor at this moment in time."

Another reporter shouted out a question.

"There are rumors that the Council was planning on vetoing both of the other candidates if they were elected. Is that true? Did the Council put you up to this?"

"Absolutely not. I can honestly say that I did not speak to anyone on the Council about my candidacy before I made my decision to run. As for whether that rumor is true, you will have to ask them. I don't even have any idea if they will approve of or veto me if I am elected."

Not exactly true. Shepard had a pretty good idea by taking to Hackett and her other advisors that she would be approved if elected but she didn't have any direct knowledge of their reactions to her becoming a candidate.

"What if the Council decides to kick humanity off the Council. Would you support Earth and its colonies withdrawing from the Galactic government?"

"Absolutely not. I know with certainly that the majority of humanity does not agree with Terra Firma and other xenophobic, radical terrorist groups and I think that the majority of those in the other races understand this as well. Their understanding is the only reason why we haven't been kicked out yet. So, I don't think it will happen but regardless, it is our responsibility to stop these radicals from doing anything to harm the other races. If they did decide to kick us out, something that I would do everything I can to prevent, it would be up to us to take our lumps and do what we can to earn their trust again."

"You call them a terrorist group but many humans support them. Aren't you afraid that you will alienate such a big portion of voters?"

"I call them a terrorist group because they are. They use violence to try to get their way. I don't agree with an isolationist policy. I do not believe that we should be concerned only with ourselves. I do not believe that humanity is better or any more noble than the other races. But if they could get the majority of humanity to agree with them, then that would be one thing. They could move forward with that agenda without violence. They don't do that. Instead, they try to seize power through force and to force their misguided beliefs on others. That is not who we are and that is not the way forward."

Another reporter pushed forward and yelled out another question, this one more hostile.

"How do you respond to those who say you can never be a good human Councilor because you are too close to the other races? You are married to an asari."

Shepard chuckled. "And who is saying this? I only announced my candidacy about 5 minutes ago. I think you are the only one who is saying it."

Some of the other reporters laughed as Shepard continued.

"To answer you, I would only say that I am a veteran who fought for the Alliance for over 17 years. During that time, I gave my blood, sweat and tears to help humanity find its future in the galaxy. The fact that I am married to an asari doesn't make me any less human."

"That is another problem. You were a soldier during the War, but you have no experience in politics. What have you done since then?"

"That's a far question. As most of you probably know, I ran the Citadel for the Alliance for a couple years. Since then, I've been helping the asari get their cities and colonies rebuilt. But it's true. I don't have a lot of experience with politics. Considering our last three Earth Councilors, maybe this is not a bad thing. I'll leave it up to all of you to decide."

The reporters continued shouting questions but Shepard held up her hand and started moving towards the side of the building.

"I will no doubt be seeing all of you in the next two weeks. You work too hard. Why don't we all take the night off to celebrate our victory?"

The reporters reluctantly made way for her to slowly move towards her skycar. She was just about clear of the crowds when Detective Anita Healy stepped into her path. The woman smiled and stuck out her hand. Shepard took it and tried to keep the look of surprise out of her face as she felt something being placed in her hand. It felt like paper. _A note? How middle school_, Shepard thought as she continued to smile at the woman and shake her hand.

"I just wanted to thank you again for the medal, Admiral Shepard. It's been an honor to receive it and to meet you. Good luck in your campaign."

Shepard slipped her hand into her pocket to drop whatever it was that she received as the cameras continued to record the two women.

"Thank you, Detective. Who knows what would have happened if it weren't for the tireless dedication of you and your team. I'm just glad we didn't have to find out."

Shepard then started walking quickly to her skycar. When she jumped in the front door next to Joker, he took off immediately. Shepard dug into her pocket and took out the note that Healy had given her. She tried to read it by the lights of the haptic display.

_I really need to speak with you, Admiral Shepard, but there are eyes and ears everywhere. Please meet me at the following coordinates, tomorrow night at 11:00 pm GST. -AH_

Shepard sighed and put her head back against the headrest. It had already been a long, nerve-wrecking day and now she was receiving cloak and dagger notes from CSEC detectives. Jeff glanced over at her and nodded to the paper in her hand.

"A love note from an adoring fan?"

"If only, Jeff. If only."

"You did good tonight. For a lying, soulless politician. Are you really sure you want to do this?"

"No. I'm really sure that I don't want to do this but I don't know as I have any real choice in the matter."

* * *

It was almost 11:00 when Shepard reached the coordinates that Detective Healy had given her in the mysterious note. The area was a wide-open area on one of the wards that looked out over Earth with the arc of the rest of the ward arm in the foreground. There were no businesses in the area and Shepard had not seen a single sole since she parked her skycar near the rendezvous point. It appeared to mostly be an unused and, likely unknown, connector between two more travelled areas of the Citadel.

At exactly 11:00 GST, Shepard watched as a CSEC skycar flew overhead and landed not far from the coordinates. She watched as Detective Healy quickly jumped out of the car and started walking towards her. The Detective smiled as she got closer to Shepard.

"I apologize for the clock and dagger routine, Admiral, but I wanted to be sure that we could talk in private. There are eyes and ears everywhere on the Citadel but I know from working with CSEC for over twenty years, that this is one of the least travelled places on it. It's also one of the few places where there are no cameras or recording devices."

Shepard looked the woman in the eye and realized that she trusted her within limits but she was still a little apprehensive about the secretive nature of the meeting. Private meetings with high-profile detectives who brought down Councilors were no longer part of her day to day, if they ever were. Shepard crossed her arms and decided to pursue chit chat a little longer to see if she could detect anything further. She smiled to try to seem casual.

"You've been in CSEC over 20 years? Were you on station during the War? Weren't you Alliance before that?"

"Yes, yes and yes. I left the Alliance because I wanted to start a family. As dangerous as it can be, CSEC is a lot better for that than the Alliance. And in answer to your next question, I fought like hell when the reapers came but I realized it was futile so then I retreated with some other CSEC officers and we hid after gathering up as many civilians as we could. I even got a commendation for saving people's lives."

Detective Healy looked at Shepard defiantly as if almost challenging Shepard to question her 'bravery' for her actions. Shepard knew better. She didn't remember Healy specifically from her time on the Citadel after the War, but the story was a familiar one.

"Smart move. You likely would have been dead if you hadn't. They were deliberating targeting anyone in a uniform first though had no problem slaughtering civilians as they found them either. They had to have the station regardless so any resistance besides guerilla-style resistance or just hiding, was futile."

"I know. I read your book. Terrifying how close we all came to extinction."

"Agreed. How did you get involved in the investigation of the coup? I would think only the highest-ranking officers in CSEC would be involved in something that reached as far as the Council. I'm not questioning your abilities or anything but I would think it would fall to a Captain or higher."

"Thank you, Admiral." She smiled before continuing. "That is the perfect segue as to why I asked you here. And no offense but weren't you only a Commander when the Alliance pretty much put you in charge of defeating the reapers?"

"Good point. But that was never part of the job description. It just kind of happened that way."

"Which is how my investigation developed as well. I was investigating money laundering, of all things, when the trails led to some very high-profile, well-connected people. I brought it to the Executor and since it involved only high-profile human people, he was concerned that they might have inside sources in CSEC. Many of our higher ranking officers are human. Most high-profile, well-connected people on the Citadel don't bother with bribing or extorting low-level officers like myself so he decided to let me run with it."

"Even though you are human. Executor Potalin must have trusted you and he is not the trusting type. With humans or anyone."

"Comes with the job. Anyone who's been with CSEC over 30 years has seen everything. Unfortunately, it gives you an attitude of everyone is guilty until they prove otherwise instead of the other way around."

Shepard thought she saw something out of the corner of her eye. Some kind of movement but when she briefly looked to the spot right behind and to the left of Healy, she could see nothing.

"About that segue. What does any of this have to do with anything now? Are you trying to say that there are still high-profile, well-connected people walking around that were connected to the coup or that there are still high-ranking members of CSEC that were connected to it?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying and in my opinion, both. We managed to find enough evidence to cut off the head of the snake but my gut, based on the evidence I uncovered, tells me that this is a snake with more than one head and the snake is still very much alive."

Shepard rubbed her neck before looking up at Healy again.

"I assume that you've discussed your suspicions with Potalin? What I still don't understand is why you are telling me. I'm just a candidate, not a Councilor. I can't help you."

"I'm trying to help you. The evidence points to other persons but like I said, I can't prove it. It would be in the interests of these persons to see that you never become Councilor. I wish I could say that they would only use legal, political means to do so but I can't."

"So, you believe that my safety might be a concern? Who are these people? Who do you suspect? Give me names."

For the first time in their conversation, there was a look of nervousness in Healy's eyes momentarily as she continued to not speak.

"Oh come on, Healy. You can't say something like that and not give me specifics if you have them. Are you worried about losing your job? I can keep a secret."

The Detective actually chortled at Shepard.

"Since this whole thing blew up, I've been receiving offers from private and industrial security companies that I've never even heard of. Some on planets that I've never even heard of. I could easily make ten times what I'm making at CSEC. And I wouldn't have to work as hard."

"Then you are afraid that these people who you think might hurt me, might hurt you as well? If it got out that you told me?"

"I have no doubt that they would have killed me already if they could get away with it without giving themselves away. I am not very popular with this group. I am an enemy of humanity, a traitor, in their eyes. I have a husband and kids. I am constantly worried about them even though they live and work on the Citadel. And it isn't just me and mine. If they knew that I was still investigating, everyone that works under me would be a target. Their families, too. If I start naming names and that gets out..."

"You will just have to trust me. I'm sure you didn't go into this blind. Has any of your research into me given you any reason to suspect that I am not who I say that I am? That I have some hidden agenda?"

"Of course not or I wouldn't be here. But people change. Priorities change. Especially when pressure is applied in the right areas."

"Okay, I'll go first. Pleasants. You suspect Pleasants. I found some evidence that suggests that even if he were not involved in the coup, he knew about it. Hell, that's the only reason I'm running."

"I suspected as much and I suspect that he was involved. I think that he is a small piece in a much larger machine. A much larger group of terrorists that will stop at nothing but total human domination. These are not your typical racists. They just use and lie to those knuckleheads to further their own aims. Did you know that almost 23 % of the humans still on Earth have never even seen an alien in real life? It's not difficult to convince those in the more rural areas and the smaller cities that the aliens are evil when their only exposure to aliens is watching Wet Azure Sea 7 on the extranet."

Shepard saw movement out of the corner of her eye again. She knew for certain that she had seen something this time. She was just about to draw her weapon when she saw the slight shimmer again. It was standing again right behind Healy and to her left. Shepard relaxed as she realized what, or rather, who it was. Shepard returned her eyes to the Detective but not before she noticed Shepard's behavior and looked over her shoulder briefly.

"Did you see something, Admiral?"

"No. The topic is just making me a little paranoid, I guess. You were right about to tell me some names?"

"You won't like some of these names. If you are plotting to take over the galaxy, politicians alone won't get you very far."

"So, you're saying that Alliance personnel are involved. Again, names would be helpful if you have them."

"And again, I don't have enough proof to even bring these names forward to a prosecutor and I'm willing to bet that there are many more that I don't know about but two high-ranking Alliance names came up more than once. Admiral Fred Yeats and Major General Robert Coats."

For the first time since the conversation started, Shepard was genuinely surprised by something the Detective told her. Both these men fought bravely in the War. General Coats was with her on the ground assault during Hammer. Admiral Yeats and the 6th Fleet were vital in protecting the Crucible. Since they were not stationed at Arcturus doing the initial reaper attack, they were the most intact fleet left during the final push. How could either of them be mixed up in this?

"Are you sure?"

"I said you wouldn't like it and as I said, no, I am not sure. But I am sure enough to tell you because I want you to be aware that not everyone in Alliance blue can be trusted. And that anyone in Alliance blue could be involved." For the first time, Healy smiled. "Not every racist bent on galaxy domination looks like a villain. Some of them appear to be perfectly normal and friendly and rational people. Some of them have kids and love their mothers."

Shepard was still skeptical of the involvement of Yeats and Coats but it would be illogical to dismiss it out of hand. She could think of no reason why Healy would lie to her or try to get her to mistrust her Alliance colleagues. Healy had been a decorated member of the Alliance herself before her honorable discharge and acceptance into CSEC. Shepard found nothing in her research, or rather Liara found nothing in the research she had done for Shepard the night before, to cast doubt on her credibility or motivations.

"Well, thank you for telling me all this, Detective. I'll keep my eyes and ears open. If I see or hear anything suspicious, I will contact you via my secure link. I assume you have one as well?" Shepard punched some keys on her omnitool and then held it out to the Officer. Healy nodded and did the same. "I hope you will inform me if there are any further developments in your investigation. Regardless of the results of the election."

"I will do that but before I let you go, I have more bad news."

"Is there any other kind?"

"I just want you to be aware of the danger here. If something were to happen to you or your family, I'd never forgive myself."

Shepard bristled visibly at the mention of her family. The thought that perhaps she had put her family in danger by running was not acceptable. The Detective continued.

"The people that we are talking about-members of the old Terra Firma, ex-Cerberus, members of other lesser Pro-human groups-they used to like you. Even when you ran off and married an asari, they still liked you. They respected you and thought of you as an example of a human hero. But for some of them, a significant number of them I dare say, that feeling has changed. Ever since you released your book and revealed what really happened during the end of the War, there are some who _hate_ you now. They see you as the biggest traitor in the history of mankind. They think that you should have taken control of the reapers and used that power to bring mankind to the top. They think that you took that away from them, away from all mankind. You were in the position to bring humanity to what they believe is its destiny and instead, you put everyone on equal footing again."

"That's just nuts. I wouldn't give anyone that kind of power! And considering our history, I definitely wouldn't give humanity that kind of power."

"Exactly. And I agree with you, Admiral. If my time with CSEC has taught me anything, it's that power corrupts and the trick is to keep any one person or group from having too much. They don't see it that way. You had the power to make yourself, a human, almost a god. You could have then used that power to make humanity the master of the whole galaxy. You didn't do that. That's why they hate you. This is not rational stuff we're talking about here. From some of their conversations that I've listened to, they see their way of thinking almost like a religion. They have an almost mystical belief that humanity's destiny is to rule the galaxy. You were proof of that. The Savior of the Galaxy is a human. And then, it turns out, the human messiah really was the savior of the galaxy and not just of humanity."

Shepard held out her hand to Healy.

"Thank you for telling me all this. I'll watch my back."

"That would be wise, Admiral. I will let you know if I discover anything else more solid."

It was only after the Detective turned and started walking towards her skycar, that Shepard let her shoulders sag and she rubbed her hand over her face. Could things possibly be that bad? Shepard knew that some humans were xenophobic and that the racism that started with the First Contact War had not gone away with the defeat of Cerberus but was there really another terrorist group out there with such a radical, violent agenda, even this soon after the War? Was it possible that while living in her bubble on Thessia that things have gotten even worse than they were right after the War? Was she just naive to think that the War would ever really end and she could just live a life of peace? Shepard determined that she would do some investigating of her own. At the moment, all she wanted to do was get out of there. She spoke into the air in front of her.

"You can come out now, Kasumi. I know you're there."

The woman decloaked in front of Shepard with a smile on her face.

"It took long enough for you to figure out I was here. Liara's right. You have slipped."

"So, Liara did put you up to this? I told her there was no need to send anyone for my protection. I can protect myself."

"I don't know, Shep. If what that lady was saying is right, I'd say you need all the protection you can get. How did you know it was me? I could have been an assassin sent here to kill you."

"I saw the distortion and noticed you were standing in the exact same position that you used to stand near enemies in the old days. I thought you said cloaks had gotten much better?"

"I had to deliberately discharge my cloak several times because I was afraid you'd pull out your gun and start shooting at shadows."

"Very funny. Come on. Let's get out of here. Just don't tell Liara everything you heard. Let me talk to her first. I'll take you back to your car."

"No need. I don't have a skycar. I slipped into the back of yours to get here."

Kasumi only smirked at Shepard as she turned back around to look at her.

"Oh. And we really should wait for Garrus before we leave."

"What? Garrus is here too? Don't tell me that that big lug slipped into my back seat while I wasn't looking!"

"Of course not." Kasumi nodded to a space behind Shepard's back. "He arrived a half hour before we did to scope out the area and get in position."

Shepard turned to see Garrus jumping down from an elevated position behind her and starting to walk towards them. He, too, was smirking (a turian smirk but a smirk nonetheless) as he stuffed his folded sniper rifle back into his bag. Shepard looked from one to the other.

"And neither of you thought it was important enough to tell me that you were here? What if I got suspicious and called the whole thing off? I would have missed all that intel."

"Suspicious of what, Shepard?" Garrus got a serious look on his face as he continued. "The phrase 'blissfully unaware' comes to mind. The old Shepard would have sensed something was off but you had no clue that you weren't completely alone. If these people really want to kill you, I think it might be damned easy."

"I've been out of the game for a while. Now that I know, I'll be more careful."

"I listened to the whole conversation through Kasumi's omnitool. I'm worried for you, my friend."

"I can take care of myself, Garrus. And I'm sure that the Detective was just being overly cautious in telling me. I have to believe that stopping the coup stopped any real danger for the moment. Let's just get out of here. We can talk about it later."

They were quiet while they all walked to the skycar. Garrus was a turian ambassador to Rannoch, a General with the Turian military reserves and in line to be Primarch. Shepard decided not to even ask that he not bring what he heard to his government's attention though she suspected they already knew. But if there might still be a larger human plot being planned in darkness, he would be derelict in his duty if he didn't mention it. Shepard would only ask that he not reveal the names that he heard. Not only could it hurt those individuals if it wasn't true but it could put Healy's life in danger if it was. Shepard feared that while they shouted from the rooftops that the reapers were coming and barely anyone believed them, if they just whispered about a larger human plot, it would be believed by most of the other races immediately to the detriment of all.

Once they got to the skycar and settled in, Shepard could see that Garrus had something on his mind. With a sigh, she started speaking, hoping to cut off his concerns.

"Don't worry. I already swept the car for bugs and we had a dampener installed so you can speak freely. I already know that you will have to report what you heard to your government. All I ask is that you keep the names out of it. It wouldn't be right to put these men in jeopardy unless we know for sure and we definitely don't want to endanger Detective Healy."

"Agreed. It's something else that is bothering me."

"What Garrus?"

"It's just...what is _wrong_ with you people?! We are barely a decade out of the last galactic war to end all wars and you humans want to start another one? I mean, turians love to fight and we jump at the chance to end it if someone starts something but you people? You just go around looking for any excuse! And you're not even built for it. The krogan are built for it. You couldn't build a better race for war if you built it in a lab which the salarians did kind of but just a little bit. But you humans? You are soft and squishy. You don't have any teeth or claws or natural armor or anything. You are like a water...what is that thing that Bene threw at me as soon as I came in the door the last time we visited?"

"A balloon. A water balloon." Shepard laughed at the memory. "She still talks about how she got you good that time."

"Right. You are all just basically water balloons walking around. Without armor on and without weapons, your best male fighters couldn't beat your average turian woman, never mind, a krogan. The average biotically-trained asari could beat your best without weapons. But despite this, you keep on wanting to attack. You keep wanting to dominate. Explain this to me, Shepard."

After a moment of quiet, Shepard finally spoke.

"Feel better?"

Instead of responding to the question, Garrus continued in what, for the normally taciturn but genial turian, could only be described as a tirade.

"You're like those yippy, little varren from Earth that go around barking at everyone and are ready to attack even though they only weigh 3 kilos and can be swallowed whole by a larger varren. What are they called?"

"Chihuahuas."

"ChaWOWas. Right. That's them. You humans are just like chaWOWas. Running around barking at everyone like you are large and should be in charge. Why is that?"

"Well, Chihuahuas were interbreed so they became overly-aggressive and are a little high-strung."

"Is that what happened with humans? You are supposed to be genetically diverse and yet, you act just like those yippy, little varren! It's been only _ten years_ since the War and who do we have to worry about? The krogan? The rachnid? Some other threat from the furthest reaches of the galaxy? Nope. The humans. The tiny, high-strung, highly-aggressive, squishy and claw-less humans, that's who."

Garrus finally fell silent again and Shepard turned to look at him in the back seat.

"I would argue that there were plenty of Wars before humans came on the scene. What about that huge civil war of yours?"

"That was thousands of years ago, Shepard. Before we even knew we weren't alone in the galaxy."

"And you did kind of start the First Contact War."

"Don't even go there. We were enforcing Council law as we were charged to do."

Shepard ignored the comment because she didn't want to get into all that with Garrus again.

"What can I say, Garrus? I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we are a young race. We've only known about other intelligent beings in the galaxy for 39 year! Just think about that for a minute. There are a whole bunch of humans alive today who remember when the Earth was alone in the universe. Whole belief systems and religions changed in an instant. And less than 30 years to adjust to that before an army of species-killing machines from dark space invade our planet, threatening to kill us all. Humans don't like change and to say that's a lot of change, a lot to get used to in a few decades, is an understatement."

"So, humans don't like change so now they want to take over the galaxy and change everything as we know it?" Garrus seemed unconvinced by Shepard's theory.

"And we know we are going to die. No matter what we do, we know the end. It makes us a little crazy."

"All sentient organic beings know that they are going to die. That's what makes them sentient."

"And we only live 120 years max..."

"Much like we turians and more than the salarians by far."

"And we want our lives to have some meaning so we are driven."

"Unlike everyone else, Shepard? The quarians, the asari, the salarians. They all want to live meaningless lives?"

"Well, Jesus, Garrus! I don't know! And it's not all humans. Most of us have no interest in taking over the universe. Most of us don't want war."

"And yet, here we are." Garrus paused before addressing the tiny human woman in the passenger's seat. "What do you think, Kasumi? Why are humans like this?"

Kasumi shrugged before answering like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Humans want things. It doesn't matter how much we have, we want more."

"Still doesn't explain it." Garrus said empathetically. "No species is more greedy than the volus and in the thousands of years they have been part of the galactic community, not one attempt at the violent overthrow of the galactic government. Not once have they tried to start a war. Imagine that."

"How could they? On most of the other home-worlds, they splat open like a bug under a shoe outside their suits. It would be like if the Chihuahuas tried to take over the dog kingdom. Futile." Kasumi argued.

"And it is futile for the humans as well and yet, some of them still try."

"Well, we aren't going to figure out why humans suck right now", Shepard interjected. "Let's just get out of here for now. And I'm sure that the Detective is just being overly-cautious. It is entirely possible that there is no larger plot and the threat ended with the Counselor's arrest."

Even as she said it, Shepard got that nervous feeling in her stomach telling her that it wasn't true. Something was up and that something was dangerous.


	90. Chapter 90

Admiral Fred Yeats watched from the podium as the remainder of the group filed into the large conference room. They dropped their omni-tools and datapads into the plastic container held by Sergeant Call and then waited impatiently as Corporal Chen scanned them. As a group, the 56 people that he had invited to the SSV Ben Nevis were not used to such treatment as they represented humanity's elite and were some of the wealthiest of Earth's children. That they agreed to it, Yeats took as a sign of their commitment to the cause. Even though they had all pledged themselves to their course of action, one never knew when another would lose their spine and one could never be too careful. He nodded to each them as them as they took their seats. General Coats stood beside him at parade rest as Pleasants worked his way through the crowd, chatting and shaking hands, as politicians were apt to do. Once they had all settled, Yeats spoke and the crowd grew quiet.

"I hope you all enjoyed your tour of the Alliance's newest and best Dreadnaught. I apologize that you all had to go through another screening but we need to make sure that what is discussed in this room, stays in this room. Sergeant Call here will make sure that all of you devices are secure and will return them untouched as soon as we are done here."

With that, Yeats nodded to both non-coms and they both left the room after offering the Admiral a crisp salute. He knew that rather than remain untouched, each of the devices would be scanned and the data contained on them would be copied so that it could be reviewed. They were all friends here but one could never be too careful. Especially since the arrest of Councilor Gurnsey and with nosy detectives still looking into everything. He returned his attention to the crowd of businesspeople and politicians in front of him.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I wanted to bring you all here because we have much to discuss. I realize that with recent events, most of you are concerned about our plans and confused as to our next steps. I'm here to allay those concerns. We have suffered a setback to be sure but everything is back on track and under control."

Several voices in the room started at once before Yeats raised his hand to quiet them.

"I understand your concerns and we will address them all. You are concerned about Commander Shepard entering the race."

One of the men in the front row, spoke up.

"No offense to Mr. Pleasants here but many humans love Shepard."

Others in the audience booed or guffawed before the man continued with a slight grin.

"Obviously not the people in this crowd but many people still see her as humanity's greatest hero of all time. I assume we will be working to change this narrative?"

"Commander Shepard will not be a problem." Admiral Yeats replied. "You don't need to know anything more than that. The plan remains the same."

"She's Admiral Shepard and I don't think you should take her lightly."

At that, Admiral Yeats glowered at the man and bite off his response.

"She is _Commander_ Shepard because that is the last rank with the Alliance that she legitimately earned. She only became an 'Admiral' because her boyfriend broke all Alliance protocol and gave her that unearned rank."

"And she probably sucked his dick to get it." Another man yelled out as others laughed. "But she's still a threat now."

"And that threat will be neutralized." The Admiral continued. "The less you know the better."

"That doesn't make me feel any better, Admiral." Another man spoke up. "And that is not our only concern. How do we keep the other races from getting together and bombing us back to the Stone Ages? I hear the turians have rebuilt or repaired 30 of their dreadnoughts. We can't defend against that."

"I'm more concerned about our bottom-line. I've dumped a lot of money into this little 'project' and I intend for it to pay off." A woman in the middle of the room spoke. "I don't see how that happens if we are no longer involved with the galactic community. How can you be so sure that they won't just sanction us back to the Stone Ages?"

"Nothing has changed", the Admiral said empathically. He punched a few buttons on his omnitool and a screen moved up behind him. "Watch this presentation and then I will answer all your questions about our specific plans."

The Admiral moved away from in front of the screen and stood quietly by the side as the propaganda film began. He looked over the crowd as they looked at the screen. Most of them were doing this out of self-interest, he knew, but giving people a little fist-pumping, self-righteous rationalization, could never hurt. The vid continued. It first showed the re-built skylines of Thessia followed by pictures of Earth cities still cratered, grey and desolate. It then showed the newly-rebuilt Destiny Ascension, still the biggest, most heavily-armed ship in the galaxy.

The images were true, of course. The asari had made remarkable progress in rebuilding their cities and republics. The vid did not say that that was at least in part due to the asari pouring much more resources into civic projects than military ones since the War, relying on the turians to pick up the slack in galactic defense. No need to point out that little detail. Or to point out that the pictures of the Earth cities were taken 5 years earlier and much progress had been made since then.

The vid then continued showing the angular and gleaming new fleets of those very same turians. The camera angles made the ships seem massive and ominous. It focused on huge cannons and dreadnaughts. The next scenes showed Alliance warships still in various stages of repairs, others in a sort of 'warship' graveyard since the War because they were considered either too far gone or too expensive to repair and were instead being used for parts. Of course, the vid did not show or explain that the turians made a conscious decision as a species to put the rebuilding of their fleets as their top priority because they felt it was their duty to do so as the 'defenders of the galactic community'. The vid did not explain that many turians voluntarily agreed to stay in barracks in ad-hoc camps for years so they would have the resources to do so. It also did not explain that humanity had rebuilt much of its fleet already as well at the expense of rebuilding many smaller cities and towns and colonies because of the machinations of people in this very room. The frightened, traumatized populace of Post-War Earth were easily convinced that they needed to pour as much of their resources into as strong a military as possible instead of providing food and shelter and opportunity for as many as possible.

Yeats looked out at the audience and saw them becoming more agitated, looks of righteous fury on their faces. Even Mallory Shill, who had become a multi-billionaire from the post-War military rebuilding looked furious, a man wronged by the 'aliens'. Despite the billions he had, he thought about only the billions more that went to alien companies or that he was prevented from grabbing for himself due to Galactic Council policies limiting the war-making capabilities of the various species. His shipbuilding company was a big part of their plans so the Admiral was glad to see him riled once again.

The Admiral himself was not a particularly xenophobic or racist man. A life-long Alliance man, he preferred the company of other humans but he did not really believe that humans were better or worse than the other species. He simply believed that there were always winners and losers, those who dominated and those who were dominated. It was the natural order of things everywhere in the galaxy, on every planet.

He was also not a religious man and did not believe in mystical things like destiny. He did not believe that it was humanity's destiny to rule the galaxy. He just knew that they needed to fight to be on top because if they did not, some other species would. Sometimes you're the windshield and sometimes you're the bug like in that old country song that his daughter Lisa had listened to when she was young. He intended to make sure that humanity was the windshield and the others races and whoever else got in their way, were the bugs. He also intended to make sure that he was _the_ windshield, the one with the power, the one in control, so that his daughter and her children would never have to find out what it felt like to be the bug.

Once the vid ended and the crowd was suitably outraged, Yeats stepped in front of the podium once again to deliver the 'bad' news.

"Not surprisingly, the Council has once again denied the Alliance request to open Relay 62C. They have also publicly stated that any further petitions for that Relay or any others to be repaired and activated will be shelved for the foreseeable future."

The gathered elites once again became animated, talking loudly to each other about how unfair and outrageous the Council was when it came to human concerns. Some just came out and booed. The Admiral started again after letting them spin for a while longer.

"Which is just one of the reasons why we move forward with our plans. Once Shepard is out of the way again, Mr. Pleasants here will win the election and we anticipate that the Council will reject him as Councilor." He smiled at Pleasants who was standing in front and to his left, with his arms crossed. "No offense, my friend."

"None taken. We all know it's because they realize that I have humanity's best interests at heart instead of their own. Once they announce that my completely legitimate and certified win has been vetoed by their lordships, we make our argument to the human race. We anticipate that most people, even the moderates and the alien-lovers, will be none too pleased that the will of the majority was ignored. We then tell our would-be overlords that we will be removing ourselves from their control."

"Right", the Admiral continued, "we tell them that we will handle our own affairs from this point forward, thank you very much, and tell them that they have 60 Earth days to completely remove themselves from Sol and any other Earth territories. After that time, anything remaining becomes the property of the Alliance and any one remaining will be arrested as an illegal alien."

"What about the Citadel?", someone called out.

This time, General Coats responded, hearing one of his biggest grievances. "What about it? If they can figure out how to move it, they can have it. If they can't, its ours. We don't need that damn space station. Trillions of credits and countless resources, human resources, spent saving it after the War and trillions more spent repairing it and protecting it since then. How many human lives were lost after the War because we were pouring money into the Overlord's Palace instead of using ALL our resources to save human lives!?"

"You realize that half of the people in this room have offices on the Citadel? It's how we make our money. By being part of the galactic economy", a man in the back of the room asked.

"Yes and how many of you, as rich as you are, can afford an office on the Presidium?" The Admiral interjected. "You are second-class businesspeople from what the alien elite see as a second-rate planet. If we are successful, in twenty years, you all will have offices on the Citadel, and you won't see an alien face on the Presidium unless they are there as servants."

There was some laughter in the audience and some nodding as well. Another man called out a question.

"How can we be sure that they won't call our bluff? We all just saw that vid and the other reports. The turians have rebuilt their fleet to Pre-War standards and the asari have rebuilt that monster of theirs. No offense to you Admiral but if they decided to attack, the alliance would not be able to defend against more than one race. And it would throw us into another war."

"They aren't going to start another war just to keep us in the galactic government. In fact, many aliens are already calling for us to be ejected, if temporarily. And I have complete control over the Sixth Fleet and more likely than not, I will be named as the next permanent Admiral of the Fleet so we will have the entire Alliance Fleet at our disposal. As for how we are going to defend Earth and our new colonies after those new relays are open, how is our new fleet coming, Mr. Shill?"

"We are almost ready. And I anticipate that once you give us the go-ahead, I can get them armed within a week or two."

The man next to Shills asked him a question.

"And no one with the Council has noticed that you built a whole unauthorized fleet? Even though they are being built right in the next system on Benning?"

"There is no prohibition on building civilian ships. The Council Inspectors can't see what they are looking at. They are allowed to do inspections but those are limited to scans. No one actually goes aboard. No weapons actually installed, no weapon's signatures, no problem. But all the systems are already in place to add the cannons and other weapons systems later. The Council is probably laughing their asses off thinking about how we built all these shiny new freighters and frigates when they knew they were going to deny our request to open those new relays."

"My biggest concern is still the economics." The woman who spoke earlier spoke again. "Once we declare independence and force everyone out, that's it. There will be sanctions. The other races will be barred from trading with us. What makes you think that they will continue to do so anyway?"

The Admiral answered, "There will be sanctions but in a couple years, they will have no choice but to trade with us again. For example, the asari control so much eezo that they can set the galactic prices at will. Imagine what happens when we dump all the eezo that we find on those new worlds on the markets for 3/4's the price. Do you really think they will honor the sanctions? Of course they won't. Self-interest from the different races and planets and colonies will kick in and they will do the only thing that they can do. At that point, the other races will have no choice but to try to open other relays and find those resource-rich planets themselves just to compete. But we will have the jump on them. It's a race that they won't be able to win once they finally decide to get in it."

General Coats piped up again. "They say that they restrict opening other relays to protect the galaxy. The truth is that those laws are there to protect their own advantages, their own supremacy."

A man in front laughed before saying, "well, that might be one of the reasons but there was the Rachni and now the Yahg and who knows what else."

"And how do we know the Rachni Wars even happened? Maybe it's just a boogieman invented by the Council to keep us all in line." Coats responded.

"You honestly believe that they lied? That galactic history is wrong?", the man responded incredulously.

"You remember the original attack on the Citadel? That was a reaper, not just a geth ship like the Council told us. They lied about that just like they would lie about anything if it suited their purposes."

With that, everyone in the audience seemed to agree. The 'troops' suitably rallied and their fears calmed, the Admiral could focus on the most pressing issue at the moment. He would need to talk to Coats and come up with a plan. How the hell do they get that damn alien-lover Shepard out of the race? He was just about to bring back the non-coms with his guests' devices when one of the men in front stood and began speaking.

"Would everyone like to join me in a prayer? I know that not everyone in this room is religious but it can only help our cause."

The group stood and gathered around the man, their heads down. Yeats put his down as well and pretended to be praying to some unseen deity with the rest of them. He didn't believe in all that nonsense but if they needed it, and he needed them to get what he wanted, so be it.

* * *

Shepard sat herself down in front of the monitor and steeled herself for what she was about to see. They had already thoroughly scanned the apartment that they had purchased to make sure there were no bugs or recording devices and Liara had purchased a new start-of-the-art computing system so that she could access her files remotely in the hopes of finding any leads regarding what Healy had told her. Liara's programs were hard at work trying to find entrance into any secret files regarding the Councilor, Pleasants, Admiral Yeats or General Coats. Thanks to the old Shadow Broker, if there was any information anywhere on any device connected to the extranet about these men, Liara and Glyph would find it.

But that would take time. Meanwhile, Shepard was going to do some research of her own. She needed to know how bad things were. Try to get a sense of the mood of humanity in general. First things first, she needed to know more about the men that the Detective claimed were involved in the plot.

She accessed Alliance databanks, put in her personal codes and submitted to the retinal scan to get into personnel records. As a former Alliance Admiral, she was allowed access to all but the most top secret information available to the Alliance as all former high-ranking Alliance officers were subject to reactivation should the need arise. She decided to start with Admiral Yeats.

The man's personnel file read like a manual on how to be a star in the Alliance Navy. He graduated from the Alliance academy, much like Shepard had, where he got good, if not stellar, marks in all academic subjects and outstanding marks in athletics and leadership. Besides some minor infractions as a young officer (including an altercation with 'alien civilians' in a bar), there were no demerits or letters of warning in his file. He was previously married and had a daughter named Lisa. He was currently newly assigned the command of the SSV Ben Nevis, the Alliance's newest flagship and he was currently the acting Admiral of the Fleet, the position recently vacated by Hackett. The rumors were that he was on the short list to be named the actual Admiral of the Fleet by the Admiral of the Alliance stationed at New Arcturus soon. Previous to his new posting, he was stationed on the SSV Fuji. Shepard made a mental note to herself to have a chat with Karin Chakwas about Yeats as Karin had just told her the night of dedication that she, Greg and their daughter Erika were being transferred to the Ben Nevis. She had, no doubt, already met the man and maybe she had formed some impressions.

Shepard then accessed the file of Major General Coats. If Yeats had had an unblemished, by the book Alliance career, Coats' past was far more checkered. Though he always received high praise from direct superiors, he had had more than a few negative run-ins with other officers and superiors. The words brave, arrogant and idealistic came up more than once in his reviews. Shepard noted that he had been married previously but that his wife, Kari, had died on Earth post-War. As for his actual assignment, there was very little information as his assignments were classified only as 'covert operations' for the last five years. Most interestingly, he was stationed on the SSV Fuji with Yeats the last two years but did not follow Yeats over to the Ben Nevis.

Next was the part that Shepard was dreading. Like most people of any renown, she had two numbers where she received calls and messages. One of them was readily available to anyone who wanted to find it and could manage a simple search. The other, her private one, Shepard gave only to her close personal friends and thus far, she had not had to change it because it was not available anywhere publicly. Also like most famous persons, she had a dedicated VI that served to monitor her in-coming messages and trash those messages that might be offensive or threatening or just plain silly.

To get a better idea of just how bad things might have gotten, Shepard decided to check not only the messages that passed the screening at her public number but those that were sent directly to trash as well. As expected, the messages ranged from the sad to the deranged to the truly vile. Shepard put aside the vids and pictures for a moment and read one of the messages from a person on Earth.

The message was a personal plea for Shepard to take action on their behalf. Right after the War, Shepard had received thousands of such messages asking for help. The numbers had fallen off since then but she still got them. Some of them made it through the VI screening and she was able to refer some of them to the Charitable Foundation established by her and Liara to distribute funds from the sale of her book to worthy causes. Others, like this one, just broke Shepard's heart and reactivated her feelings of guilt.

It was from a teenage girl who told of a father who was injured during the War. Because of the overwhelming number of people, military and civilian, who had lost eyes, legs, arms, organs during the War, there was just not enough money to get them all replacements. In this case, the girl's father was still on a list for working cloned replacement arms and his ability to find work had been adversely affected because of it. They still lived in one of the grim, government-run apartment complexes in one of the major cities. Shepard continued to read other letters detailing similar hopeless situations experienced by some of the people on Earth.

Her first reaction was one of sadness. Her next reaction was one of defensiveness. How was she supposed to help with any of this? These people had leaders, politicians elected by them to address their concerns. Why would people, even before she announced her candidacy, write to her asking for help? She was just a person, a career soldier, who had earned the right to retire from public life and enjoy her family. Her very lucky, very privileged family, Shepard realized. She angrily deleted the messages and turned her attention to the others containing pictures and videos. She could hardly wait.

The first few were from people who again were asking Shepard for help, the AI being very good at sorting things even if they were to be relegated to the trash file. Pictures and vids from all over Earth showed the devastation that still existed and the miserable living conditions of a significant portion of humanity. The population of Earth had been even further divided between the haves and the have-nots by the War. The gleaming new homes and apartment buildings of the big cities the territory of the former while the dirty, dangerous and overcrowded apartment complexes of those same cities became the dumping grounds for the latter. There were organizations to move people out of the big cities and into smaller cities and towns and farms but there were just not enough opportunity in those areas for a person to make a living. The poverty rates were at their highest since the early 22nd century, before the discovery of mass effect technology.

The next set of pictures and videos were more disturbing. Many of them could only be classified as hate mail or threats. Some showed videos of Shepard being killed or dismembered or sexually assaulted. The phrase 'race traitor' or 'treason against the human race' came up frequently in these types of messages. For the most part, Shepard was not fazed by them in the least. Having been killed and almost killed before and fighting through areas where the viscera from the dead was literally thigh high, tended to make a person less than squeamish about such things.

The next set was a different story on the same theme. Shepard's jaw clenched as she viewed some of the vile pictures and videos of Liara. She decided not to look at any more of those. They would only upset her, provide her with no new information and might compel her to go on a search and destroy mission against every person who ever sent her an inappropriate message if she continued.

It was only when she opened the next small set of photos and videos grouped together that Shepard's blood ran cold. They featured not Shepard or Liara but Benezia. She had always been an open kid, smiling and talking, as the other children hid, when the reporters came around. As a result, there were plenty of pictures of her available on the extranet. People knew who she was. These people knew who she was.

When Shepard opened the animated vid showing an animated body with Benezia's head being thrown on a spike, much like those used to create husks, with the words 'Death to all half-breeds!' scrolling across the top, it was too much. She automatically jumped to her feet and reactively slammed down the monitor. The monitor fell off the desk and crashed to the floor. She started pacing the room as Liara peeked her head in.

"Shepard? Did you drop something?"

Shepard stopped pacing for a moment and struggled to get her emotions under control as Liara walked into the room. Liara looked at the toppled monitor.

"Did my brand new expensive monitor do something to displease you?", Liara joked.

"Sorry about that. I don't think it's broken. I just had an accident. It's okay."

Shepard didn't move to pick up the monitor and Liara moved to pick it up for her. Shepard stepped in the way.

"That's okay. I'll fix it."

"Shepard. What's wrong? I can tell you're upset. What did you see on that screen that upset you so much?"

"Nothing. I'm fine. Why don't you go on to bed and I'll join you once I clean up in here?"

Liara ignored Shepard, stepped around her and picked up the heavy monitor easily with a simple motion of her hand. There was no damage, which was one of the reasons that Liara had decided to purchase the military-grade, physical monitors as the haptic ones tended to glitch and become inoperable at the slightest accident. When she had rearranged the screen back on the desk, she inhaled sharply as she saw what was on it.

"Goddess! What is this? Where did this come from?"

"I don't know. It was in my mail box. Some sick fuck sent it to me. I was looking through my trashed emails for any clues as to what might be going on. Is there any way to track this back to whoever sent it?"

Liara exhaled slowly, peered at the message, trying to ignore the video as it repeated on a loop and then finally reached out a shut off the monitor.

"I think you already know the answer to that. Whoever sent this would not have done it from their extranet number. They would not send such a thing from anywhere that could be traced back to them. Most likely it was bounced between different hosts before it reached you so you would not even be able to tell what planet it originated from."

Liara could see her bondmate's fists clench. She ran her hand up and down her Shepard's back as she continued to stare at the dark monitor. Her other hand unconsciously rubbed her stomach as her mind reached out to quiet her daughter who had become upset by Liara's own emotional reaction to seeing the message. After a few moments, Shepard broke the silence.

"I can't do this. If I do this, I will put you and the kids in danger. I think we should just forget the whole thing and go back to Thessia."

"There is always danger. We are both well-known. Even if we were to go away to a lonely planet somewhere and become hermits and force the girls to be hermits, there would still be danger. There will always be deranged individuals who send things like this to people that they do not even know. In fact, this message was sent prior to you announcing your candidacy."

"But if I put myself in the public eye again, there will be more danger. There's no denying that. I told you what the Detective said."

"If the Detective's instincts are correct, there is threat regardless of whether you run for Councilor or not. If she is correct, there is a very real possibility that there could be war, if not a galactic war, at the very least, a human civil war. If you become Councilor, you will have more power to try to stop it."

"And what will it expose our children to? What if Benezia saw this?! What if someone tries to harm her or one of the other girls to get to me?"

"It might be safer on Thessia but we are on the Citadel. We would be living and working on the Presidium, one of the most secure and regulated places in the entire galaxy. As a Councilor, you will have a security detail and so will the kids."

"I don't need a security detail and I don't want my kids to grow up needing one either!"

"You are looking at the negatives only. If you do become Councilor, you can monitor the investigation directly. CSEC reports to the Council. You can make any changes necessary to improve security and you can direct the investigation to possibly stop this plot if it is occurring. Hiding away on Thessia will not stop this plot from going forward and any danger to the galactic community will not end if you decide to withdraw."

"We've already talked about all of this! If anything were to happen to you or the kids...", Shepard's voice trailed off.

Liara moved closer to Shepard and took her hand to place it on her belly. She let her eyes go black and let Shepard feel their unborn daughter's consciousness. Some of Shepard's anxiety and anger evaporated and a smile grew on her face. After another moment, Liara's eyes returned to normal.

"And *we* will not let anything happen to them. They are why you need to do this." Liara's voice was full of conviction. "Do you really want them to grow up in a galaxy where the members of half their parentage are no longer a part or worse, are in a horrible war with the rest of the galaxy?"


	91. Chapter 91

The next morning, Shepard bounded down the stairs just as the door bell rang. She was expecting Hoffs and Oriana to come over to discuss strategy and to prep her for her up-coming press conferences but due to a late night looking at things that she probably shouldn't have for the good of her own sanity, she got up late. Shepard opened the door to allow her guests in, nodding to the CSEC officer stationed just outside her door. She noticed that Executor Potalin had thus far, only assigned turian and asari officers to her security detail. She didn't know whether she should read something into that or not. Either way, Shepard found it embarrassing that there were guards stationed outside their already secured apartment at all. She was still technically a Spectre after all.

"Come on in! There should still be breakfast and coffee available in the kitchen if you want some. At least I think there is, I just came down."

"You just came down?", Hoffs asked. "I hope because you spent a late night going over the materials that I sent you?"

Shepard smiled as she lead them to the kitchen.

"Something like that", Shepard finally responded.

The kids were at the table eating and talking loudly as usual when the three entered the kitchen. Upon seeing Shepard, all three kids became quiet as Liara greeted their guests.

"Good morning James. Good morning Oriana. Can I interest you in some coffee or tea?"

"I can always use more coffee", Oriana responded. She noticed the silence that descended as they entered the room. "I don't think I've ever seen the girls this quiet. Is this a bad time?"

"The girls have decided to give their father the silent treatment because she is the horrible monster who is forcing them to leave Thessia and move to the Citadel", Shepard answered. "You girls can at least be polite and say hi to Mr. Hoffs and Oriana."

The girls all said hi as Oriana sat down with her coffee.

"I know it will be a change and that can be hard at first but you girls are so lucky. There are so many fun things to do on the Citadel and you will meet people from all over the galaxy. I grew up on a sleepy colony and I would have loved to grow up here."

At this, Benezia enthusiastically broke the silence.

"I like the Citadel so far. There are so many people here! Even on Thessia, even in the city, I've never seen so many people in my whole life. And from all over. I got to meet a real, live raloi the other day! I've never seen one of them before. They look like big birds and they seem really nice!"

Jacey glared at her sister and whispered "traitor!" to her under her breathe until Benezia fell quiet again.

"Jacey, we've already talked about this." Shepard continued. "Aren't Talelle and Shaira coming to stay next week? And didn't I say that they could come stay with you as often as they like? Their parents actually seemed thrilled that their kids would get the opportunity to visit the Citadel."

"It's not the same! We won't be in the same classes together anymore!"

"True. But you will meet many more kids here on the Citadel", Oriana reasoned.

"Didn't I hear that you are very interested in galactic history, Jacey?", Mr. Hoffs asked. "I don't know if you are aware of this but there is a repository of galactic history right here on the Citadel. It is restricted but I'm sure I could get you in to take a look."

At this, Jacey looked excited. "The Citadel Archives? You could get me in to see them?!"

"I personally hope never to go there again", Shepard looked at Liara, who smiled and nodded back at her, as she said it.

"I think I can. And if your Dad wins the election then she could definitely get you in there."

"Hey!", Benezia interjected, "what about me? Can I go to this thing too?"

"It's an history archive", Jacey explained, "like Mommy's work."

Benezia made a face. "Oh, in that case, I'm pretty sure I'll be busy that day."

At this, Edi seemed to wake up a little.

"What? We have to go to Mommy's work again?! Can't we stay home instead? We'll be good, I promise!"

Liara sighed and shook her head. "Well right now, we need to go do some school shopping so if you'll excuse us. Girls, go pee now if you need to go."

At that, all three girls popped up and ran out of the room, followed by Liara. Shopping was apparently a popular activity for all three of the Shepard-T'Soni children, unlike visits to history archives. Shepard looked at her guests briefly before following her out.

"Please, help yourselves. I need to talk to Liara a second but I'll be right back."

Shepard caught up with Liara and touched her arm to get her attention.

"I should be done here in a couple hours. Why don't you wait until I'm finished and then we'll all go shopping together?"

"Shepard, that is not necessary. In fact, if you go, a simple shopping trip will turn into a media circus. We'll be back before you know it."

"But you saw what I saw last night. I think we need to take some precautions."

"It is the Presidium in the middle of its diurnal cycle. We will be perfectly safe. I doubt very much that anyone would be bold enough to do anything here and now. We can't let fear run our lives."

"I get that but I'd feel a lot better if I went with you."

Liara just smiled and gave Shepard a quick peck on the lips.

"We'll be fine. Girls, let's get going."

At that, Liara and the kids headed towards the door leaving a worried Shepard in their wake.

"Alright. Goodbye, girls. Make sure to take one of the security detail with you", Shepard called out before turning back towards the kitchen.

When Liara and the kids exited the apartment, the turian CSEC guard on duty stopped them.

"Are you and the little ones going somewhere? I'm afraid the other officer assigned to this detail today called in sick. You will have to wait for his replacement to escort you."

"That's alright, Officer. We know our way."

"I can't leave the Candidate here alone and we are supposed to have eyes on the family at all times when they leave the residence."

"I appreciate that but we will be fine. We only intend to do a little shopping on the Presidium. You need to stay with 'the candidate' because she will argue with you that you are not needed and try to lose you unless you are very diligent."

At that, Liara and the kids headed towards the elevator leaving a torn protection officer behind. Finally, he resigned himself to staying in front of the door of the 'candidate' and spoke into his omni-tool. His duty officer for the day was the man who called in sick so he called the desk to let them know that a protection officer was needed for the candidate's family. The officer staffing the desk that day, just happened to be a human Sergeant.

* * *

Liara and the kids were exiting their fourth store and Liara promised herself that the fifth would be their last. She and Shepard had worked hard to make sure that the children were relatively well-behaved in public but they were still very young and very energetic. They waited for the elevator to open as Benezia and Jacey started picking at each other.

"You are blue! You can't wear bright orange. It looks gross!", Jacey told Benezia.

"I can so wear orange if I want! You're just jealous because you are the wrong shade of blue that doesn't look good in orange like I do."

"There is not an asari alive who looks good in bright orange. That's why asari clothing does not come in bright orange. You just wanted to get human clothing."

"I can get human clothing if I want because I'm half human! That's why I look good in orange and you don't."

The elevator opened and the asari inside saw the young family waiting to get in. For a moment, Liara could see the look of panic in her eyes as she seemed to debate whether to make a run for it or not. She remained in the elevator and Liara issued a warning to the kids as they entered.

"Girls.."

The kids got dutifully quiet and stood still as the doors to the elevator closed. Liara smiled at the asari and then looked down, hoping that she would not be recognized. The asari smiled back and then looked at the three silent children who were on their best behavior.

"What beautiful children and so well behaved. Are you a governess?"

"Thank you. And no. They are my children."

"Oh!", the asari looked at Liara's swollen belly, "that's...nice".

The asari suddenly reached out and hit the button for the next floor. Liara couldn't help but chuckle as the doors opened and the woman flew out of the car. It wasn't like the desire to have so many children at such a young age was a disease that was contagious but it was an attitude that she had encountered many times before.

When they finally reached their floor and the doors opened, the girls jumped out and had to fight the impulse to run. Liara realized that they had maybe another half hour of good behavior in them before they just couldn't control it any longer. She made a beeline for the last store on their agenda. Unfortunately, a large, brightly-lit toy store was two stores down from her target. Liara heard Edi gasp.

"Mommy! Look at that store! Can we go there?"

"Yes! Pleeeeease." Benezia pleaded.

"I have credits. You wouldn't have to pay anything." Jacey reasoned.

"Please, mommy, please!", Edi added again.

Liara thought about it. Shepard had a bad habit of bribing the girls to do what they were told or what they should do anyway. She claimed that it was a proven 'leadership style' involving carrots instead of sticks or some nonsense but Liara saw it simply as bribery which might work in the short-term but could cause problems in the long-term. But here and now, she was just so close to being done. One more store and she would not have to worry about buying anything for the girls for the upcoming school session until after the baby was born and after the election was hopefully won. All three kids were now looking at her with pleading looks, trying not to jump up and down in hopeful anticipation. Liara sighed.

"Okay. We will go to the toy store but only _after_ we finish your school shopping and only _if_ you behave."

"Yes!", Edi exclaimed but her sisters scolded her quietly, least her outburst be considered not behaving.

All three girls then folded their hands and silently followed their mother into the clothing store. About twenty minutes later, they had already picked out and ordered all the needed outfits but still needed a pant's set for Edi. It was then that Liara got an odd feeling. She noticed that, besides the asari store clerk, there were only three human males and two human females in the shop. Despite the fact that this was a store that sold predominately asari-style children's clothing, that fact alone would not be unusual. Human-asari pairings were probably the most common inter-species pairings and humans often wore asari-style clothing. What Liara did find odd is that none of them were with children. If theirs were anything like her children, they grew so fast that guessing what would fit them based on sizes alone was a fifty-fifty proposition at best.

The human customers also did not appear to be coupled at all. In fact, they appeared to be spreading out. Almost like they were trying to flank her. Liara decided that they had done enough shopping for the day.

"Please send our purchases to our apartment", Liara said to the store clerk and turned to move towards the girls who were busy arguing about who had the best 'first day' outfit. Before she could reach them, one of the human males quickly moved behind her as Liara readied her biotics. When she felt the man's arm reach around her and the cold of metal against the back of her neck, she realized just how badly she had misjudged the threat that Shepard had warned her about. She could barely believe the boldness of her attackers. She watched as three of the humans moved behind the children as the fourth went to distract the clerk. She was just about to flare her biotics when the man tightened his grip and pushed the gun harder against her neck.

"Don't", the man growled into her auditory cavity, "unless you want your kids to watch their mother die."

It was then, as one of the men moved behind her, that Benezia saw the man holding her mother. She moved towards them as blue coalesced around her hand.

"You leave my mother alone!," Benezia shouted as she hurled a blue bolt at the man using her entire body. The bolt fell far wide of the mark to topple several displays and clothing racks. It was completely harmless but it did distract the man holding Liara, who used the split second to concentrate all her energy on a flare which threw the man and his gun several feet behind her. He hit the wall and slumped to the floor. It wasn't one of her more practiced biotic skills but it did the job.

She then used a throw to hurl the children into the storeroom, none too gently, but she couldn't worry about that now. The next throw thrust a large display against the storeroom door to block it. She moved to crouch behind a counter, even as the remaining four humans closed in around her. She heard the girls crying but she ignored it, needing to focus.

Liara used a warp to melt the fire detection system on the wall. The sound of rushing water was punctuated by blaring alarms as the erupting sprinklers soaked Liara. _We might get out of this yet if help comes quickly enough_, Liara thought as she peeked out of cover to throw a singularity above two of the humans still advancing on her. The asari clerk ran out of the store only to run into two fully armed and armored men who entered the store with guns raised. One of helmeted men knocked the butt of his assault rifle into the asari's face, knocking her out instantly. The other two humans stopped and moved to cover as one of them addressed the armed men.

"What do we do, General? CSEC will be here any minute. The brats are blocked in the storage room."

Liara heard a deep voice with a British accent that sounded vaguely familiar.

"Just get out of here, you incompetent fools. All of you."

The two who were trapped in the vortex created by Liara's singularity fell to the floor, slowly got up and limped towards the door, following the other two out of the store. A missed opportunity for a biotic explosion but at least they were out of the picture. Liara peeked out of her cover again to get a better look at her new adversaries. They were heavily armored and presumably, shielded. Her biotics would be next to useless in as short of time as she was likely to have. She typed furiously on her omni-tool. She no doubt still had an overload program on there somewhere and the omni-tool should have enough energy for at least one discharge.

She popped out of cover once again to send the overload towards her attackers. To her dismay, it only affected one of the men as she quickly flung a reave at him. He staggered back but the other man still advanced. She needed to move to put more space between her and the man. Being nine months pregnant made her much slower and far less nimble. She strengthened her barrier as she remained low and dashed towards the counter at the other end of the room.

To her surprise, she did not feel any projectiles hit her barriers as she ran. He was not shooting at her, which could only mean that he wanted her alive. A kidnapping then. _They want us to get to Shepard_, Liara thought as she felt her anger rise. The anger quickly morphed to sickening terror as she peeked out of cover to find the man had stopped following her and instead stood in front of the blocked storeroom. She shivered as she saw the man point his assault rifle at the display covering the door to the storeroom. She heard the gruff voice with the British accent again.

"I wonder how slug-proof this display is? Shall we find out?"

"Mommy!" Liara could hear each of her children yelling for her. She heard small hands and bodies pounding against the display that was all that stood between them and this monster. She saw him raise the rifle to his shoulder, the muzzle still pointed at the door, at her children.

"Stop! Please!", Liara yelled as she stood up and moved from behind the counter. Liara tried to keep the sound of desperation out of her voice as she spoke. "I can give you lots of money. What do you want?"

The man turned towards her, the muzzle of his gun now pointed at her swollen stomach.

"You. Don't move."

The man got close to her. With one hand, he continued to point his rifle at her stomach while the other jabbed a device into her shoulder. The last thing Liara was aware of as she felt her legs give way beneath her was the sound of her girls' sobs and screams. Her last thoughts were a silent prayer to the Goddess or any goddess that they might be spared.

The man let the unconscious body collapse to the floor unhindered. The head hit the floor with a thud and a small stream of blood slowly spread across the floor. He looked towards the other man who was still doubled over in pain. He could hear CSEC sirens getting closer. He shipped his rifle and hauled the body over his shoulders. He ran over to the other man and hit him in the shoulder.

"We need to move. Now. Take her. I'll get that idiot."

The man grunted as Liara's body was thrown over his shoulder and he staggered as quickly as he could towards the door. The other ran over to the man who had first attacked Liara, threw him over his shoulder and ran out of the shop after him. Their awaiting skycar whisked them away before the door was even fully shut.


End file.
